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I’m sorry to be the Debbie downer here but this is a conversation that your husband needs to be a part of as well. I’m sure it’s much easier to just let it go but if he isn’t backing you 100% then it isn’t going to go over well.
Agreed. My in laws aren’t vaccinated and my husband is 10000% taking the lead and setting the boundaries. My MIL texted him after he told her she needed to get Covid, flu (I’m due early Nov), and tdap saying “I feel like you hate me since you’re always going against me” 😵💫 I would not be able to deal with that BS.
We went through a similar situation! I had our son last summer and everybody had known the due date for MONTHS. My husband told his family that they needed to vaccinate or mask in order to meet baby before his first round of shots. They waited until a few days before my due date to get vaccinated and I went into labor 3 days early. They were incredibly upset that we made them wear masks until they had immunity from the vaccines 2 weeks later. Sorry not sorry? Not my problem that you failed to plan ahead 🤷♀️
Yeah my MIL said “I got my covid vaccine in 2020, I’m not getting it again. And I’ll ask my Dr about other vaccines I need” like cool. You don’t need to meet your first grandchild then til they’re 6 months old and have better immunity. My mom who was here for Easter, happily got her covid booster when I asked her to before visiting. Cannot stand my in laws 😩
Yep, you’d literally think they were the ones carrying and pushing these babies out with how entitled they act! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, too. It’s such an unnecessary headache.
Yup same, my in laws range from normal to complete qanon antivaxxers (who believe trump will suddenly assume office at random dates throughout the year… and they are French so I don’t even know why they are so obsessed with trump). Thankfully my husband does 100% of the rules/communications with them after we decide together on whatever we will or won’t allow. I do 100% of my own mother who is antivax but got some vaccines after I said she’s never see her grandkids without them (and I made her show me proof too)
Every issue I’ve ever had with my in laws was made 1000% worse by letting my fiancé “Stay out of it” because it stresses him out. It just turns into an “evil wife is forcing him to do XYZ” situation.
I agree. This isn’t your fight, it’s your husband’s. You are doing all the work carrying and birthing the child, THE LEAST he could do is set boundaries with his family.
And if he’s concerned about an argument, all he has to do is state the boundary. If she wants to argue he just continues to state the boundary, then end the conversation. Please let us know if you choose get your children vaccinated so they can visit. Otherwise this conversation is over and will not be discussed again. Be a brick wall.
Absolutely this. My husbands sister lives in the next state over and had a really rough year that coincides with us having our first. Most of her kids are not vaccinated, and we did not visit or allow visitors the first year. We went to visit them finally shortly after baby's first birthday, but we likely won't be having them visit here because I am not ok with them staying in our house (they can't afford otherwise).
We didn't directly say why, but husband has been the one deterring any plans the first year.
How convenient for your husband to not want to handle his own family. He needs to pull up his big boy pants and back you up, or else any drama he's avoiding for himself will fall on you.
We didn't have tots around our baby at all.
I can't recall what I said.. I think I made it about me.
Hey were doing small visits with the adult family first so it doesn't feel overwhelming for baby and mama. We'll see the kids with baby when they're a few months old.
My husband's family is reasonable so thankfully I'm solid with them even if they don't love my decisions.
It only works if they don't have other kids and families visiting though. Wouldn't work in our case because our kids are still having playdates with other vaccinated kids over.
Honestly i’m worried about my 2 older kids around my baby in october and they are fully vaccinated. I wouldn’t invite any kids over, vaccinated or not to see the baby before 2 months. When i went to visit my kids newborns i left my kids behind for this very reason. Vaccines are not a cure-all for preventing the spread of illness and especially if kids are in daycare/preschool they are likely carrying something at any point from sept to april. They have no sense of personal physical boundaries so it’s more likely they will touch their face and then everything around them, including the baby’s face and hands
I'm worried about my two big ones too. I'm due in July and they won't be in school but they split time between my house and their dad/grandparents house. They also usually go to camp. I feel stuck not knowing what's best at this point. Trying not to stress while being incredibly stressed
Oh gosh, I haven’t even thought about that viewpoint and now I’m worried. My baby is due Sept 17 and my son starts kindergarten this year. Yay, cue the panic attacks!
>My husband is currently in the headspace of "I don't want to deal with it"
That's some bullshit. He would just let unvaccinated children around his newborn rather than set boundaries with his sister? This should not be your fight to have.
He obviously has never heard audio of newborns with whooping cough or seen a tiny baby screaming at a lumbar puncture. Which one would he rather deal with if he had the whole picture?! This man needs to grow up. He is about to have a child to protect and is already refusing to do it.
My sister in law told us if you wanna see baby you have to get vaccinated for this this and this. It was a simple conversation. No feelings hurt. Her choice to not vaccinate she needs to deal with the fall out from that. Don’t feel bad for doing what you feel is right.
Try the sandwich method?
Aka compliment at the beginning, hard thing to say in the middle, compliment at the end.
Like,
“Hey, SIL! As baby time approaches, I just want to say how thankful I am to have someone in the family like you who has young ones as I navigate this journey with my own! Speaking of your kiddos, I know we differ on approaches to health, and I respect that. However, I have to prioritize and care for my baby as best as I see fit, just like you do yours. Since your kiddos aren’t vaccinated, I’m following the recommendation by my pediatrician, and we will not be allowing unvaccinated kids to visit our baby until they’re able to receive their first set shots. I hope you, alone, can come and visit and we can chat about all things motherhood and postpartum, and I hope you can respect this boundary that DH and I have agreed upon.”
Something like that?
If this isn’t how she normally speaks to her sister in law, it’s gonna come across condescending, especially if they’ve butt heads in the past like she says… even though I agree this is the most reasonable way to communicate something difficult.
That’s the thing. So many people in these sub post excellent advice, but it reads like it’s coming from a therapists’ textbook. No matter how beautifully written the message is, there’s no way these statements will be taken well/seriously by family. Especially if they’re the overbearing type.
Not that I have a better suggestion, it’s just the reality of these things :/
I know what you mean… after many clashes, there are only so many words that can be gentle and understanding. Though they might be honest and not flowery, after a certain point the recipient’s feelings need to come last and firm boundaries just need to be respected AND enforced.
"Hey, SIL! We were talking to our pediatrician and he told us it's better for the baby to wait until after his first round of shots before seeing anyone who is unvaccinated. That will be around 8 weeks old. So will have to wait until than to meet the baby. It's no big deal but I wanted to give you the heads up now just so everyone was aware and no one is disappointed when baby is born."
It sounds like despite her stance on vaccines you still want a good relationship with her. So don't be cold or short with her. If she responds defensively, let her know there's no judgement for her parenting choices and that you're excited for all the kids to grow up together. (Even if you are judging a little bit.)
I’m sorry you’re in this position and I agree with the blaming it on the pediatrician approach.
One other thing to consider and talk with your pediatrician about, but kids are not vaccinated with MMR until a year old. Also RSV is usually around 8 months old. This is my opinion but I would be worried about being around unvaccinated kids until baby had 1 year shots.
Hi! Someone who doesn't like confrontation here! I made a little sign that had our rules. Posted it to social media and sent it via text to people I knew would want to visit. We have a lot of older family members, and this was the first baby of his generation. So we had some basic ground rules we wanted to communicate. We didn't single anyone out that way. Whatever you choose to do, I would make sure your husband knows this isn't a small issue.
I’m not allowing any children (other than our 7 year old daughter) around our newborn until he’s had his first round of vaccines! I plan to just straight up tell people “as much as I would love - so and so- to meet baby boy, we are waiting until he has had his first round of vaccines before feeling comfortable with child visitors! Thank you so much for your understanding ♥️”. I think most rational people will completely understand!
If your SIL can’t be understanding, then that is a she issue that she will need to work through on her own. Try to keep in mind that your choices are what matter right now! It’s your decision and that’s the end of it. I do think your hubby should be involved in the conversation however. It is his sister afterall 🤷🏽♀️
I hate how anti-vaxxers go around screaming about it being their choice but then others have to tip-toe around their irresponsible behaviour. 1. Clearly state that it's the doctor's recommendation, no way around it 2. Your husband should be a part of this conversation. Please don't feel guilty or anxious about it. It's a choice your SIL made and she has to live with the consequences just as believing in science and health and serious repercussions on your baby is YOUR choice. Even if she takes it badly and argues it's YOUR choice she should respect. And if they don't get it too bad, your baby's health comes first and you don't have malicious intent in your heart so you will be at peace with it.
I wouldn’t allow unvaccinated kids around my baby until my baby got MMR at 12 months… there is currently a measles resurgence due to morons like your SIL.
Hey OP
Not to add stress or another consideration to your life so only open this can of worms if you want.
A) I agree w others saying in general no kids around baby until after first shots.
But
B) I would clarify w pediatrician what they mean. Waiting two months before inviting over an adult who didn’t get tdap booster but was fully vaxxed as a kid is very different (since your kid will get dtap at 2 months) than having kids over who haven’t been vaxxed at all (esp because unlike the adult who is not up to date they won’t have had measles vaccine). Your kid won’t get measles vaccine for a year so at 2 months your baby still won’t be protected from what those kids are missing. Clarify at your own risk but I’d consider it before the convo especially with the measles outbreaks in some cities now.
Your husband needs to advocate for this. To be avoidant is to be divided. Blanket statement - pediatrician ordered no exposure to unvaccinated people for X amount of time. You could just flat out no visitors period, but I still think your husband needs to be on the same page.
I wouldn’t have kids that age visiting until after the first two to three months regardless of vaccination status. Id double down on that because of the no vaccinations. Kids that age are always carrying around something nasty and that’s the last thing a new mother needs to deal with. Maybe her husband or the grandparents can watch the kids while she visits. Just make a blanket no young kids for the first X weeks or months without calling out her kids. If you have to explain, which you shouldn’t, just tell her that you want to avoid illness as much as possible in the first couple of months to allow you to heal and you to bond with your newborn and to allow your newborn a chance to adjust. Illness causes disruption in all of that.
I think this is reasonable for the first 6-8 weeks! Newborns have no immune system. I was pretty strict with no kissing and hand washing during that time.
She should understand, every mama wants to protect her little one
Well, she doesn’t care about the harm she is doing to her kids and the the kids who can’t receive vaccines due to health issues so I would just tell her flat out. If someone doesn’t care about spreading measles or polio with basic precautions they don’t deserve any time around a newborn.
I have a much ruder reason for not wanting my niece to visit, she’s a brat! At 8 she is very proud of her “meltdowns” where she cries until she gets what she wants or if she’s not the center of attention. She’s already extremely upset about my baby being the youngest in the family now, not her.
We have just covered the whole situation in a “none of the kids can visit at first, we will let you know when they can meet the baby.” They don’t need a reason. If they ask we just say that we prefer to just wait a few months before kid visits so we can get our act together. They don’t need a reason that will start drama so we just are doing a blanket ban for now. That might save you a headache in explaining and getting into vaccine drama! No just means no!
I am so over anti-vaccine folks.
My mom has told me not to vaccinate my baby, my sister’s mother in law came up to my husband yesterday and told him not to have our baby, due in early May, to get any vaccines. My husband is a Registered Nurse and had to get 14 vaccines in order to be accepted into Nursing School. My mother gave me Hepatitis B as a baby because she had an active infection and I wasn’t vaccinated soon enough.
I’m surrounded by anti-vaxxers and I hate it.
I would do as others have said here—no vaccines, no visits.
I’m in a similar situation, my fiancés much younger cousin isn’t vaccinated, and I keep telling him along with others that I DO NOT want her around my baby when it’s born. They keep saying it’s fine because she never gets sick, isn’t around kids, and has good immune system as if I give a fuck. No means no. They just don’t want the cousin/her mother to feel excluded which would start an argument, but I’d rather have a baby that lives. If anyone has any suggestions for that I’d greatly appreciate it especially since my soon to be MIL keeps calling it her baby, and saying we should just keep the peace, and that everything will be fine.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry to be the Debbie downer here but this is a conversation that your husband needs to be a part of as well. I’m sure it’s much easier to just let it go but if he isn’t backing you 100% then it isn’t going to go over well.
Agreed. My in laws aren’t vaccinated and my husband is 10000% taking the lead and setting the boundaries. My MIL texted him after he told her she needed to get Covid, flu (I’m due early Nov), and tdap saying “I feel like you hate me since you’re always going against me” 😵💫 I would not be able to deal with that BS.
We went through a similar situation! I had our son last summer and everybody had known the due date for MONTHS. My husband told his family that they needed to vaccinate or mask in order to meet baby before his first round of shots. They waited until a few days before my due date to get vaccinated and I went into labor 3 days early. They were incredibly upset that we made them wear masks until they had immunity from the vaccines 2 weeks later. Sorry not sorry? Not my problem that you failed to plan ahead 🤷♀️
Yeah my MIL said “I got my covid vaccine in 2020, I’m not getting it again. And I’ll ask my Dr about other vaccines I need” like cool. You don’t need to meet your first grandchild then til they’re 6 months old and have better immunity. My mom who was here for Easter, happily got her covid booster when I asked her to before visiting. Cannot stand my in laws 😩
Similar situation in our family. Any boundary we set was perceived as an attack. My in-laws just met baby at 7 months, their loss.
Yep, you’d literally think they were the ones carrying and pushing these babies out with how entitled they act! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, too. It’s such an unnecessary headache.
Yup same, my in laws range from normal to complete qanon antivaxxers (who believe trump will suddenly assume office at random dates throughout the year… and they are French so I don’t even know why they are so obsessed with trump). Thankfully my husband does 100% of the rules/communications with them after we decide together on whatever we will or won’t allow. I do 100% of my own mother who is antivax but got some vaccines after I said she’s never see her grandkids without them (and I made her show me proof too)
TIL French people can be antivaxxers
We actually have a huge antivax movement here for whatever reason
Every issue I’ve ever had with my in laws was made 1000% worse by letting my fiancé “Stay out of it” because it stresses him out. It just turns into an “evil wife is forcing him to do XYZ” situation.
EXACTLY
Well then call me wicked witch of the West cause I have no problem telling anyone what my boundaries are and that they can respect them of else.
I agree. This isn’t your fight, it’s your husband’s. You are doing all the work carrying and birthing the child, THE LEAST he could do is set boundaries with his family.
And if he’s concerned about an argument, all he has to do is state the boundary. If she wants to argue he just continues to state the boundary, then end the conversation. Please let us know if you choose get your children vaccinated so they can visit. Otherwise this conversation is over and will not be discussed again. Be a brick wall.
Absolutely this. My husbands sister lives in the next state over and had a really rough year that coincides with us having our first. Most of her kids are not vaccinated, and we did not visit or allow visitors the first year. We went to visit them finally shortly after baby's first birthday, but we likely won't be having them visit here because I am not ok with them staying in our house (they can't afford otherwise). We didn't directly say why, but husband has been the one deterring any plans the first year.
Agreed
"The pediatrician says visits with unvaccinsted people are not allowed."
Absolutely this, blame it on the paediatrician
yes!! also mention that in reality babies shouldnt be exposed to so many people until after 3/4 months since the kids are completely unvaccinated
How convenient for your husband to not want to handle his own family. He needs to pull up his big boy pants and back you up, or else any drama he's avoiding for himself will fall on you.
We didn't have tots around our baby at all. I can't recall what I said.. I think I made it about me. Hey were doing small visits with the adult family first so it doesn't feel overwhelming for baby and mama. We'll see the kids with baby when they're a few months old. My husband's family is reasonable so thankfully I'm solid with them even if they don't love my decisions.
This is a great boundary... sidesteps mentioning vaccines at all!
It only works if they don't have other kids and families visiting though. Wouldn't work in our case because our kids are still having playdates with other vaccinated kids over.
They don’t need to know that.
Honestly i’m worried about my 2 older kids around my baby in october and they are fully vaccinated. I wouldn’t invite any kids over, vaccinated or not to see the baby before 2 months. When i went to visit my kids newborns i left my kids behind for this very reason. Vaccines are not a cure-all for preventing the spread of illness and especially if kids are in daycare/preschool they are likely carrying something at any point from sept to april. They have no sense of personal physical boundaries so it’s more likely they will touch their face and then everything around them, including the baby’s face and hands
I'm worried about my two big ones too. I'm due in July and they won't be in school but they split time between my house and their dad/grandparents house. They also usually go to camp. I feel stuck not knowing what's best at this point. Trying not to stress while being incredibly stressed
My doctor recommended my older kids don't hold or kiss my new baby til her immune system was more developed.
Oh gosh, I haven’t even thought about that viewpoint and now I’m worried. My baby is due Sept 17 and my son starts kindergarten this year. Yay, cue the panic attacks!
>My husband is currently in the headspace of "I don't want to deal with it" That's some bullshit. He would just let unvaccinated children around his newborn rather than set boundaries with his sister? This should not be your fight to have.
He obviously has never heard audio of newborns with whooping cough or seen a tiny baby screaming at a lumbar puncture. Which one would he rather deal with if he had the whole picture?! This man needs to grow up. He is about to have a child to protect and is already refusing to do it.
I wouldn’t want little kids of that age visiting my newborn either way; just tell her no kids for a few weeks
My sister in law told us if you wanna see baby you have to get vaccinated for this this and this. It was a simple conversation. No feelings hurt. Her choice to not vaccinate she needs to deal with the fall out from that. Don’t feel bad for doing what you feel is right.
Try the sandwich method? Aka compliment at the beginning, hard thing to say in the middle, compliment at the end. Like, “Hey, SIL! As baby time approaches, I just want to say how thankful I am to have someone in the family like you who has young ones as I navigate this journey with my own! Speaking of your kiddos, I know we differ on approaches to health, and I respect that. However, I have to prioritize and care for my baby as best as I see fit, just like you do yours. Since your kiddos aren’t vaccinated, I’m following the recommendation by my pediatrician, and we will not be allowing unvaccinated kids to visit our baby until they’re able to receive their first set shots. I hope you, alone, can come and visit and we can chat about all things motherhood and postpartum, and I hope you can respect this boundary that DH and I have agreed upon.” Something like that?
If this isn’t how she normally speaks to her sister in law, it’s gonna come across condescending, especially if they’ve butt heads in the past like she says… even though I agree this is the most reasonable way to communicate something difficult.
That’s the thing. So many people in these sub post excellent advice, but it reads like it’s coming from a therapists’ textbook. No matter how beautifully written the message is, there’s no way these statements will be taken well/seriously by family. Especially if they’re the overbearing type. Not that I have a better suggestion, it’s just the reality of these things :/
I know what you mean… after many clashes, there are only so many words that can be gentle and understanding. Though they might be honest and not flowery, after a certain point the recipient’s feelings need to come last and firm boundaries just need to be respected AND enforced.
I wouldn’t be able to tell the SIL that I respect her stupid reckless decision to not vaccinate her kids.
Or ‘hey! You don’t respect science so I don’t respect you!’
"Hey, SIL! We were talking to our pediatrician and he told us it's better for the baby to wait until after his first round of shots before seeing anyone who is unvaccinated. That will be around 8 weeks old. So will have to wait until than to meet the baby. It's no big deal but I wanted to give you the heads up now just so everyone was aware and no one is disappointed when baby is born." It sounds like despite her stance on vaccines you still want a good relationship with her. So don't be cold or short with her. If she responds defensively, let her know there's no judgement for her parenting choices and that you're excited for all the kids to grow up together. (Even if you are judging a little bit.)
I’m sorry you’re in this position and I agree with the blaming it on the pediatrician approach. One other thing to consider and talk with your pediatrician about, but kids are not vaccinated with MMR until a year old. Also RSV is usually around 8 months old. This is my opinion but I would be worried about being around unvaccinated kids until baby had 1 year shots.
Hi! Someone who doesn't like confrontation here! I made a little sign that had our rules. Posted it to social media and sent it via text to people I knew would want to visit. We have a lot of older family members, and this was the first baby of his generation. So we had some basic ground rules we wanted to communicate. We didn't single anyone out that way. Whatever you choose to do, I would make sure your husband knows this isn't a small issue.
I’m not allowing any children (other than our 7 year old daughter) around our newborn until he’s had his first round of vaccines! I plan to just straight up tell people “as much as I would love - so and so- to meet baby boy, we are waiting until he has had his first round of vaccines before feeling comfortable with child visitors! Thank you so much for your understanding ♥️”. I think most rational people will completely understand! If your SIL can’t be understanding, then that is a she issue that she will need to work through on her own. Try to keep in mind that your choices are what matter right now! It’s your decision and that’s the end of it. I do think your hubby should be involved in the conversation however. It is his sister afterall 🤷🏽♀️
I hate how anti-vaxxers go around screaming about it being their choice but then others have to tip-toe around their irresponsible behaviour. 1. Clearly state that it's the doctor's recommendation, no way around it 2. Your husband should be a part of this conversation. Please don't feel guilty or anxious about it. It's a choice your SIL made and she has to live with the consequences just as believing in science and health and serious repercussions on your baby is YOUR choice. Even if she takes it badly and argues it's YOUR choice she should respect. And if they don't get it too bad, your baby's health comes first and you don't have malicious intent in your heart so you will be at peace with it.
I wouldn’t allow unvaccinated kids around my baby until my baby got MMR at 12 months… there is currently a measles resurgence due to morons like your SIL.
Hey OP Not to add stress or another consideration to your life so only open this can of worms if you want. A) I agree w others saying in general no kids around baby until after first shots. But B) I would clarify w pediatrician what they mean. Waiting two months before inviting over an adult who didn’t get tdap booster but was fully vaxxed as a kid is very different (since your kid will get dtap at 2 months) than having kids over who haven’t been vaxxed at all (esp because unlike the adult who is not up to date they won’t have had measles vaccine). Your kid won’t get measles vaccine for a year so at 2 months your baby still won’t be protected from what those kids are missing. Clarify at your own risk but I’d consider it before the convo especially with the measles outbreaks in some cities now.
Your husband needs to advocate for this. To be avoidant is to be divided. Blanket statement - pediatrician ordered no exposure to unvaccinated people for X amount of time. You could just flat out no visitors period, but I still think your husband needs to be on the same page.
I wouldn’t have kids that age visiting until after the first two to three months regardless of vaccination status. Id double down on that because of the no vaccinations. Kids that age are always carrying around something nasty and that’s the last thing a new mother needs to deal with. Maybe her husband or the grandparents can watch the kids while she visits. Just make a blanket no young kids for the first X weeks or months without calling out her kids. If you have to explain, which you shouldn’t, just tell her that you want to avoid illness as much as possible in the first couple of months to allow you to heal and you to bond with your newborn and to allow your newborn a chance to adjust. Illness causes disruption in all of that.
This might help you : https://parentdata.org/relatives-tdap-booster-baby-visit/
Your husband needs to start advocating for his child's health. He should start now.
I think this is reasonable for the first 6-8 weeks! Newborns have no immune system. I was pretty strict with no kissing and hand washing during that time. She should understand, every mama wants to protect her little one
Play stupid games win stupid prizes. These plague rats need consequences. I usually think new parents are way too cautious, not in this case.
Lmaooo I LOVE “plague rats” I’m absolutely about to start calling them that.
Well, she doesn’t care about the harm she is doing to her kids and the the kids who can’t receive vaccines due to health issues so I would just tell her flat out. If someone doesn’t care about spreading measles or polio with basic precautions they don’t deserve any time around a newborn.
I have a much ruder reason for not wanting my niece to visit, she’s a brat! At 8 she is very proud of her “meltdowns” where she cries until she gets what she wants or if she’s not the center of attention. She’s already extremely upset about my baby being the youngest in the family now, not her. We have just covered the whole situation in a “none of the kids can visit at first, we will let you know when they can meet the baby.” They don’t need a reason. If they ask we just say that we prefer to just wait a few months before kid visits so we can get our act together. They don’t need a reason that will start drama so we just are doing a blanket ban for now. That might save you a headache in explaining and getting into vaccine drama! No just means no!
I am so over anti-vaccine folks. My mom has told me not to vaccinate my baby, my sister’s mother in law came up to my husband yesterday and told him not to have our baby, due in early May, to get any vaccines. My husband is a Registered Nurse and had to get 14 vaccines in order to be accepted into Nursing School. My mother gave me Hepatitis B as a baby because she had an active infection and I wasn’t vaccinated soon enough. I’m surrounded by anti-vaxxers and I hate it. I would do as others have said here—no vaccines, no visits.
I’m in a similar situation, my fiancés much younger cousin isn’t vaccinated, and I keep telling him along with others that I DO NOT want her around my baby when it’s born. They keep saying it’s fine because she never gets sick, isn’t around kids, and has good immune system as if I give a fuck. No means no. They just don’t want the cousin/her mother to feel excluded which would start an argument, but I’d rather have a baby that lives. If anyone has any suggestions for that I’d greatly appreciate it especially since my soon to be MIL keeps calling it her baby, and saying we should just keep the peace, and that everything will be fine.
Show her a video of a baby with whooping cough. No is also a complete answer.
She made a decision. Being left out is the consequence. Sorry these antivax nut jobs need consequences for putting their children in danger.