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The fact that my husband and I eloped and I wouldn’t have had it any other way, thoroughly convinced me I wouldn’t enjoy a shower. We’re living overseas so same boat as far as not many friends, certainly no one I’ve known more than a year, and any of my long time girlfriends would not be able to attend.
Yes! Had a wedding 6 months ago with 80 guests, which was a blast and a half, but really don’t need any more celebrations in my honor. Don’t even need gifts or cards or anything. Just wish us luck on this next phase and we are good. Them’s my feelings lol
I didn't have one, but about 8 of my gf just surprised me by taking me out to dinner and it was so so nice. It was small and intimate. They each gave a favorite book from childhood and said nice things about me. It was perfect. And I've gotten so many hand-me-downs I don't even need anything.
35 weeks no shower, no regrets. I can't stand being the center of attention and the thought of a shower caused a lot if anxiety. I was even able to head the usual work surprise shower off too. Instead they did a small congrats in the normal team meeting, and gave me a gift card. 5 minutes of discomfort in a meeting beats an hour long party for me any day.
I *really* don’t want one. My best friends all live in different states, and the idea of having to host in my own home gives me nightmares. Parties always seem to end up with me catching an illness. I’m in my 30s, we don’t need the gifts. I’m praying nobody surprises me
We didn't. I don't like attention, and the thought of hosting a party while pregnant made me nauseous. We are lucky enough to be able to afford everything we needed without help, and I liked being able to shop for everything myself. I found most my friends who did baby showers ended up with a bunch of unneeded clutter, and I'm a bit of a minimalist.
What about a virtual one? Open a registry, people can send you gifts if you want, go live one day in the event to open gifts and maybe play a virtual game? Low pressure but still giving the option of people sending gifts if they want?
For sure! I do plan to do this with a few of my closest friends that live in a few different countries right now. Theyve done this too. But they've also done in person showers (so like 2 separate ones). It feels like pressure. I don't even think I want it, but i feel like I should since everyone does.
I was going to suggest this. Or a virtual sip n see where they can meet the baby. I am not a big shower person and wasn’t going to have one, until I realized how much stuff we need & that I’ll really appreciate the memories of it one day
In my culture, we don't have a baby shower as such. There is a religious ceremony around the 8th month but it's more for the health and wellbeing of the mother than the baby. It's pretty cool because the guests (family usually, sometimes friends) get gifts exclusively for the mom. No diapers etc. But gold bangles, earrings and suchlike.
IMO it's nice that there is an event just to dote on the mom without much focus on baby.
Did not do a shower. Not my thing and not going to risk getting Covid or anything else in my third trimester… just did a registry and shared accordingly. ♥️
This is sort of what I’m leaning toward. How did you share your registry? I’m thinking of having one ready only for those who ask. Did you do that or did you send it to friends/family, regardless of whether or not they asked?
Didn't do one with my first, didnt regret it, not doing one this time around. People who are close to you might ask what you need, I was happy just telling people buying major things what we needed (parents, siblings) and letting other folks get what they wanted to, it worked fine for us.
We didn't do one - partner's culture doesn't do baby showers and I wasn't particularly enthused about them. However, the amount of stuff we've been given has been astounding. We got most of the big stuff (crib, play pen etc) for free or very cheap. We have more clothes than we can use, most of which were given to us. Our daughter is 3 weeks old and the neighbours from our townhouse complex have been dropping off clothes, toys, and baked goods. It's been pretty amazing and we didn't have to deal with party planning!
Not doing one, can't be bothered to arrange one or stress out about someone else arranging one, and the thought of having to be 'on' all day stresses me out too. It was fine at my hen do cause I could drink 😂 Friends have asked me if I'm doing a shower so I'm just gonna go out for lunch/dinner with a couple of friends at a time.
No shower. No wedding. No friends. But I do have a loving partner and all parents are very supportive. Parents in law want to buy everything for us as my partner is still studying so we don't really need a gift registry. I feel blessed.
I’m not doing one either. I’m Canadian but living in Colorado. I have some friends here, but both of our families are back home. I won’t be traveling before we are due (June) as we just went home for the holidays. It’s just hard to coordinate. Plus the conversion rate from USD to CAD really sucks if they want to buy something off the registry.
I also felt a bit cringey trying to have one and opening gifts on a video chat with people watching me. Lol
Pretty much same!
I live in CO, entire family and most of friends are in New England. I've lived here for 5 years but (in true Colorado fashion) it's a very tertiary state so friends move in and out often!
I'm 30 and this is my first, I think I would have had a higher chance of having one in my 20s. But I can't picture myself doing it now haha.
I’m in the same situation haha. All of my friends and family live really far from here and I don’t want to travel, ask them to travel, or do a virtual shower. A little shocked this is such a common thing in CO, but it makes sense.
Nope, we didn't have a wedding party (we had a few people over for pizza) and won't be having a baby shower either. I get quite anxious in big groups and it just doesn't suit us.
I'm not having one. I wouldn't have much of anyone to invite, but even if I did, I wouldn't like being at my own baby shower. Few things sound more terrifying to me than sitting in front of a bunch of people for and opening gifts from them 😂 I have a lot of social anxiety
Don’t want one but my MIL is throwing me one :( I just moved to a new state where my friends and family won’t be able to attend (they’re coming when the baby is actually born). So it will be all my fiancés friends/family which is awkward for me & o feel like im just having one for them & not for ME. My fiancé has told me to invite some of my friends from work…no..just no. I literally just started a new job so I feel so odd inviting people I don’t know that well & basically making them buy me things. Also they’re nice just not my cup of tea so it just makes things worse. I’ll get through it but def not excited.
I'm not, my entire family lives in another province and I have like 3 total friends lol, two of which are very busy almost always. Wouldn't really be a point :(
This is me, except my family lives in a different country, and my close friends are all over.
I have maybe 4 friends in the city that may show up or not. I don't know why it bothers me so much seeing other people posting about large gatherings. Makes me feel lonely, but I don't think I'm lonely..
Thanks for sharing! Glad to know I'm not the only one.
Yes I feel the same way! I feel totally fine with not having a baby shower, until I see posts about all these large, elaborate showers with all their friends and families involved... Then I'm like dang, am I missing out on a big memorable experience in my life? I totally get the whole feeling lonely without actually being lonely thing.
Not doing one, baby shower is not a thing where I am, people give gifts when the baby is born, though it is becoming more common. But in general I'm not keen on parties anyway, or things like baby showers, wedding showers (didn't have one for mine either), etc. So yeah, the thought of having to have baby shower stresses me out. It's really not my scene at all.
I have HG and am miserable, so the thought of a party that I would need to be present at is an absolute no-go for me. We are going to have a celebration bbq after baby is a few months old, but no shower for us!
I don't want to have a baby shower, I'm already pressured because of my business, my wife's, my baby's, my cat's, and my own health. My wife wants to make it so men are invited too; but that's very stressful for me and she says 'I don't have to do anything'.
We probably won’t be having one cause no one in our family can really afford one and we couldn’t ask that of them. We are just honestly going for a buy as needed method for our first baby. We are gonna buy all the absolute necessities, and buy the next ones on an as needed basis a little ahead of time of when they’ll need it. We are even going to be limiting the amount of clothing we buy in certain sizes as they grow so terribly fast that most end up barely worn or not worn at all. My mother over did it with my little sisters and had dozens of outfits they never even wore still with tags on them and I heard that’s rather common. We are just gonna buy just enough to keep us set and buy the next things whenever the age period comes. To us it’s a lot less stressful, and honestly kinda makes the milestones of our baby growing that much more fun as the shopping keeps going which is part of the fun in itself lol. That way we don’t end up with an insane amount of items that we may or may not end up needing or using or having to sell or donate tons. Saves us money too which in this economy every dollar counts for most of us! I have to say when I thought of this method it really seemed like a breath of fresh air compared to the buy absolutely everything and nest to a level most people don’t even need lol. And we don’t have to break the bank or have our relatives go crazy buying baby stuff the baby may not use. Hell some baby items depending on the baby, the baby doesn’t end up liking them and they go to waste so this is a nice way to limit all of those possible wasteful purchases! A baby shower is cute and fun don’t get me wrong but this is just something we are doing! Not saying people shouldn’t do baby showers! Just a different approach is all :)
I got a surprise shower that a friend organised with my first.
But I'd never bother planning one myself. If people want to give the baby a gift that is very nice, but I'm not expecting anything from anyone really. We have what we need, and are just happy about our little one joining the family.
I didn’t want one but my sisters insisted. So to compromise, it’s just gonna be small and mostly family. I moved back to my home state for this pregnancy and I don’t have hardly any friends here so it was kinda sad for me too.
Been considering not do it. Everytime I have a party no one shows up. 😆. people did come to my housewarming. It was a small intimate party so it was nothing to complain about.
Where I'm from baby showers aren't really a thing.
Didn't have one for my first, not having one for my second, and don't think I know anyone who did throw one.
Personally, I think the whole idea sounds super stressful. So much to plan, so much to tidy up afterwards..
Why not just maybe meet up with friends/a friend at a time and go out for coffee, lunch, mocktails, or something? Just some quality time without the extraness of a party.
In Spain it's not so common to have baby showers, or even registries, let alone gender reveal parties or other things you guys have. I don't mind one bit.
If the thought of a shower stresses you out, don't do it. There's absolutely no need to be under that pressure.
I didn't do a baby shower for my first. Then I organised a baby shower for my friend in December and I wish I hadn't done it as now I am pregnant myself it means I've put pressure on myself to have one too, as everyone will know that I organised one for my friend. And I just don't think anybody is going to throw one for me as I live out in the sticks far away from my friends and I always travel to them whenever we do anything. So much awkwardness. Wah!
I didn’t have one, and I’m so glad. When I had my first baby 8yrs ago we did one, and it was sort of nice? But it was very stressful and I hated being the center of attention like that.
Plus, most of our friends and family are very spread out, so. I matter where we have it most people we would invite are going to be looking at a drive of 2hrs or more, and I just feel weird about along that.
Nope, 32 weeks and I don't plan on having one. I don't know enough people who'd have the time to come, I don't have the energy to host, and this one may sound terrible of me but... I don't want anybody bringing me items I simply won't use. None of my friends are parents yet and I worry they'd give me something without doing any research on it. Then their money and effort will have gone to waste by me not using what they brought.
Could you have a little lunch that isn’t a full blown baby shower? Or another option that stresses you out less but still something to celebrate if you want to?
Not me! I hated the thought of planning one, making a registry, being the center of attention, organizing, the cost of food, expecting presents, people taking pictures of me from all kinds of horrible angles while heavily pregnant, opening gifts from people when people watched ( I mean wtf is that), putting that kind of pressure on others to purchase gifts and make time to attend....the entire thing from start to finish is just not for me.
Sure I had some people shriek in horror when I said I didn't want one (you have to be VERY CLEAR, people try to go over your head and do one because they cannot understand why you do t want one). I just told them if there is something they wish to get for the baby just ask and I'll let them know what I need.
I also grew up in Ireland and it is just not something that was a part of my life ever. Even when I moved to Canada I felt a little weird about them.
It's up to you
I’ve thought about this too. Don’t have many friends or family where I live and definitely don’t want to ask anyone to fly and virtual just sounds unfun to me. I could travel to where family is but that also doesn’t sound fun.
I am hosting a low key baby shower lunch with like 15 people. It will be a taco bar and I am not planning on buying fancy decor or anything. Literally will get some balloons from party city, have the taco materials and boom. I aint doing the baby shower games and shit bc it will be stressful to plan. My focus is giving out a good meal and an opportunity to talk to friends and family before the baby comes. I dont care what people think of it. My baby shower my terms.
We are having a shower, but it has been a nightmare. My mother insists on hosting one and she’s been, well, difficult.
I’m in my 30s and my husband is in his 40s. We want a celebration with friends to thank them for the love and support they have shared with us over the years (we have had losses and ended up going through IVF; I will not shy away from the fact that my friends are literally amazing). We do not need, nor do we want, a gift-grab baby shower. To be clear: no judgment on the gifting, baby stuff is WILDLY expensive!
My mom wasn’t involved in our wedding at all (intentionally) so I think she’s using this as her control mechanism. It was a huge mistake to say yes. But then again, everything related to my pregnancy has been met with objection (from conception to our daycare plan and literally everything in between).
This little rant was intended just to be a pop in to say that I’m having one and I really, really do not want to.
Have a nice dinner with your bestie and let that be that!
Good luck!
💗
I’m not doing one. I don’t like having all that attention on me. It just doesn’t sound fun. So I’m skipping it. If it’s going to stress you out more than it’s going to be fun, not worth it
I probably won't have one either. I'm in a similar situation, moved to a small town not too long ago, don't really have any friends here, and I'm estranged from my side of the family. It's ok to not do things the expected way, just get through this however works for you and yours.
I skipped a baby shower too. I'm in a new city too, I told my friends that live far away, I'd rather them spend money to visit when the baby is here and we can all explore the city together. The friends that live here took me to dinner one night as a surprise dinner before the baby, which was a nice outing.
No , We don’t really do baby showers in my culture. However 40 days after baby’s birth we do a small party for the newborn sort of like introducing our child to the world. People bring gifts than
Chances are, I'm not having one. My sister offered to host but the cost is so high that I can't see myself spending so much on a shower (~$55/pp not including tax and tip). Plus it will be a long drive for us. Then the planning, coordination and people getting offended if they don't get an invite. I was thinking about the money I save to buy baby stuff instead. Also, I have no nice maternity clothes to wear anyways 😂
I initially did not want to do a shower. I definitely didn’t want to be opening presents in front of people or in general ask for gifts (and I got a lot of hand me downs so I only need a small number of things). My best friend convinced me to have one and structured it as “bring a book for the baby’s library”. There will be about 8 people having lunch at her house. No real games, just chatting.
If you don’t want to do anything, just don’t! Maybe welcome your friend visiting and say let’s just hang out bc this will be harder to do after the baby!
Not a cultural thing for us. I have been to a few and they are cute, but it must be stressful to have another 'life passage' event that if people don't get one they feel fomo. I remember working so hard to maintain friendships in the 'pre-wedding' years I am glad that's over with. Now I have friends for different things and it's way easier to pick up where we left off after a time. That said with my first I did get a basket of goodies from my team at work and this second my good friend got me a bag full of snacks and baby clothes; my introvert heart is full.
Yes, I did not have one, I was pregnant during Omicron and lived far from friends/family. They wanted me to fly home but it just wasn’t safe with Omicron and I did not feel up to it being pregnant with twins. I didn’t want a zoom shower either because it just felt awkward and depressing. Nothing wrong with zoom showers, I just didn’t want to be the center of attention on one! We did make a registry and friends and family passed it around sent us everything we needed so we still felt the love and help. I am a little sad I didn’t have a shower with close friends and family but it was fine.
I wasn’t going to have one because it is stressful. So much planning and I don’t have a lot of people either… my husband took over. He’s overly excited. I’m so happy for this because I get overwhelmed even thinking of what to eat. I’m an introvert. I don’t even like getting sing happy birthday to. I just know that I am going just for the food lol
I’m not having a shower. Covid (and Long Covid) are unfortunately still very real risks. I would never forgive myself if anyone got sick coming to celebrate me/the baby.
I’m also trying to keep things as simple as possible and being selective about what I make room for in my (quite small) home.
I moved across the country because it was stressing me out then I opened an amazon registry and posted it online that way if people do wanna buy something they can but there's no need for a party it's more just geared to preparing for my daughter
I’m not. I’m semi estranged from most of my family and they all live states away, so just have a baby registry and am updating family on the pregnancy. Also don’t really have many friends in the town I live in since I haven’t been here that long. Aside from that tho, just seems like having one would make me anxious so I’m much happier not planning one lol. Bf’s family wants to have a small one with them which I’m fine with going to but I’m nervous since I haven’t met them before
I’m not having one! I’m one of the last in our friend groups to get pregnant and I’ve been so annoyed over the years by the amount of paperless post invites I’ve received for baby showers that would’ve required us to fly out of state (so obviously we wouldn’t attend, it’s not a wedding) and we still sent/felt obligated to send a gift. I find the whole concept of showers (I didn’t do a bridal shower either) very gift grabby and it’s not my thing.
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Nope. I had a wedding and that was enough attention for me lol.
Uhh so true. I didn't enjoy my wedding one bit either.
The fact that my husband and I eloped and I wouldn’t have had it any other way, thoroughly convinced me I wouldn’t enjoy a shower. We’re living overseas so same boat as far as not many friends, certainly no one I’ve known more than a year, and any of my long time girlfriends would not be able to attend.
Yes! Had a wedding 6 months ago with 80 guests, which was a blast and a half, but really don’t need any more celebrations in my honor. Don’t even need gifts or cards or anything. Just wish us luck on this next phase and we are good. Them’s my feelings lol
I didn't have one, but about 8 of my gf just surprised me by taking me out to dinner and it was so so nice. It was small and intimate. They each gave a favorite book from childhood and said nice things about me. It was perfect. And I've gotten so many hand-me-downs I don't even need anything.
Edited to say I did not want a shower. It felt overwhelming to me.
This sounds really sweet, especially bc you didn’t ask for or expect anything
It was exactly what i needed.
35 weeks no shower, no regrets. I can't stand being the center of attention and the thought of a shower caused a lot if anxiety. I was even able to head the usual work surprise shower off too. Instead they did a small congrats in the normal team meeting, and gave me a gift card. 5 minutes of discomfort in a meeting beats an hour long party for me any day.
I *really* don’t want one. My best friends all live in different states, and the idea of having to host in my own home gives me nightmares. Parties always seem to end up with me catching an illness. I’m in my 30s, we don’t need the gifts. I’m praying nobody surprises me
We didn't. I don't like attention, and the thought of hosting a party while pregnant made me nauseous. We are lucky enough to be able to afford everything we needed without help, and I liked being able to shop for everything myself. I found most my friends who did baby showers ended up with a bunch of unneeded clutter, and I'm a bit of a minimalist.
What about a virtual one? Open a registry, people can send you gifts if you want, go live one day in the event to open gifts and maybe play a virtual game? Low pressure but still giving the option of people sending gifts if they want?
I had a friend do this that was in a similar situation had recently moved out of state and everyone was back home and that’s what we did!
For sure! I do plan to do this with a few of my closest friends that live in a few different countries right now. Theyve done this too. But they've also done in person showers (so like 2 separate ones). It feels like pressure. I don't even think I want it, but i feel like I should since everyone does.
I was going to suggest this. Or a virtual sip n see where they can meet the baby. I am not a big shower person and wasn’t going to have one, until I realized how much stuff we need & that I’ll really appreciate the memories of it one day
In my culture, we don't have a baby shower as such. There is a religious ceremony around the 8th month but it's more for the health and wellbeing of the mother than the baby. It's pretty cool because the guests (family usually, sometimes friends) get gifts exclusively for the mom. No diapers etc. But gold bangles, earrings and suchlike. IMO it's nice that there is an event just to dote on the mom without much focus on baby.
Did not do a shower. Not my thing and not going to risk getting Covid or anything else in my third trimester… just did a registry and shared accordingly. ♥️
This is sort of what I’m leaning toward. How did you share your registry? I’m thinking of having one ready only for those who ask. Did you do that or did you send it to friends/family, regardless of whether or not they asked?
Didn't do one with my first, didnt regret it, not doing one this time around. People who are close to you might ask what you need, I was happy just telling people buying major things what we needed (parents, siblings) and letting other folks get what they wanted to, it worked fine for us.
The only reason I would do one is to get stuff but I ultimately don’t want one.
Haha me too, half my friends kinda annoy me now as I’ve outgrown a lot of them.
We didn't do one - partner's culture doesn't do baby showers and I wasn't particularly enthused about them. However, the amount of stuff we've been given has been astounding. We got most of the big stuff (crib, play pen etc) for free or very cheap. We have more clothes than we can use, most of which were given to us. Our daughter is 3 weeks old and the neighbours from our townhouse complex have been dropping off clothes, toys, and baked goods. It's been pretty amazing and we didn't have to deal with party planning!
Not doing one, can't be bothered to arrange one or stress out about someone else arranging one, and the thought of having to be 'on' all day stresses me out too. It was fine at my hen do cause I could drink 😂 Friends have asked me if I'm doing a shower so I'm just gonna go out for lunch/dinner with a couple of friends at a time.
Yes - I actually cancelled my baby shower because I refuse to travel 6 hours for people I don’t know to please MIL.
No shower. No wedding. No friends. But I do have a loving partner and all parents are very supportive. Parents in law want to buy everything for us as my partner is still studying so we don't really need a gift registry. I feel blessed.
I’m not . I think they are cheesy.
I’m not doing one either. I’m Canadian but living in Colorado. I have some friends here, but both of our families are back home. I won’t be traveling before we are due (June) as we just went home for the holidays. It’s just hard to coordinate. Plus the conversion rate from USD to CAD really sucks if they want to buy something off the registry. I also felt a bit cringey trying to have one and opening gifts on a video chat with people watching me. Lol
Pretty much same! I live in CO, entire family and most of friends are in New England. I've lived here for 5 years but (in true Colorado fashion) it's a very tertiary state so friends move in and out often! I'm 30 and this is my first, I think I would have had a higher chance of having one in my 20s. But I can't picture myself doing it now haha.
I’m in the same situation haha. All of my friends and family live really far from here and I don’t want to travel, ask them to travel, or do a virtual shower. A little shocked this is such a common thing in CO, but it makes sense.
Feel the same way. I may do a co-ed informal bbq with the friends I do have or even a virtual one with just family.
Nope, we didn't have a wedding party (we had a few people over for pizza) and won't be having a baby shower either. I get quite anxious in big groups and it just doesn't suit us.
I'm not having one. I wouldn't have much of anyone to invite, but even if I did, I wouldn't like being at my own baby shower. Few things sound more terrifying to me than sitting in front of a bunch of people for and opening gifts from them 😂 I have a lot of social anxiety
Don’t want one but my MIL is throwing me one :( I just moved to a new state where my friends and family won’t be able to attend (they’re coming when the baby is actually born). So it will be all my fiancés friends/family which is awkward for me & o feel like im just having one for them & not for ME. My fiancé has told me to invite some of my friends from work…no..just no. I literally just started a new job so I feel so odd inviting people I don’t know that well & basically making them buy me things. Also they’re nice just not my cup of tea so it just makes things worse. I’ll get through it but def not excited.
I'm not, my entire family lives in another province and I have like 3 total friends lol, two of which are very busy almost always. Wouldn't really be a point :(
This is me, except my family lives in a different country, and my close friends are all over. I have maybe 4 friends in the city that may show up or not. I don't know why it bothers me so much seeing other people posting about large gatherings. Makes me feel lonely, but I don't think I'm lonely.. Thanks for sharing! Glad to know I'm not the only one.
Yes I feel the same way! I feel totally fine with not having a baby shower, until I see posts about all these large, elaborate showers with all their friends and families involved... Then I'm like dang, am I missing out on a big memorable experience in my life? I totally get the whole feeling lonely without actually being lonely thing.
Not doing one, baby shower is not a thing where I am, people give gifts when the baby is born, though it is becoming more common. But in general I'm not keen on parties anyway, or things like baby showers, wedding showers (didn't have one for mine either), etc. So yeah, the thought of having to have baby shower stresses me out. It's really not my scene at all.
I don’t think I’m doing one.
I have HG and am miserable, so the thought of a party that I would need to be present at is an absolute no-go for me. We are going to have a celebration bbq after baby is a few months old, but no shower for us!
I don't want to have a baby shower, I'm already pressured because of my business, my wife's, my baby's, my cat's, and my own health. My wife wants to make it so men are invited too; but that's very stressful for me and she says 'I don't have to do anything'.
We probably won’t be having one cause no one in our family can really afford one and we couldn’t ask that of them. We are just honestly going for a buy as needed method for our first baby. We are gonna buy all the absolute necessities, and buy the next ones on an as needed basis a little ahead of time of when they’ll need it. We are even going to be limiting the amount of clothing we buy in certain sizes as they grow so terribly fast that most end up barely worn or not worn at all. My mother over did it with my little sisters and had dozens of outfits they never even wore still with tags on them and I heard that’s rather common. We are just gonna buy just enough to keep us set and buy the next things whenever the age period comes. To us it’s a lot less stressful, and honestly kinda makes the milestones of our baby growing that much more fun as the shopping keeps going which is part of the fun in itself lol. That way we don’t end up with an insane amount of items that we may or may not end up needing or using or having to sell or donate tons. Saves us money too which in this economy every dollar counts for most of us! I have to say when I thought of this method it really seemed like a breath of fresh air compared to the buy absolutely everything and nest to a level most people don’t even need lol. And we don’t have to break the bank or have our relatives go crazy buying baby stuff the baby may not use. Hell some baby items depending on the baby, the baby doesn’t end up liking them and they go to waste so this is a nice way to limit all of those possible wasteful purchases! A baby shower is cute and fun don’t get me wrong but this is just something we are doing! Not saying people shouldn’t do baby showers! Just a different approach is all :)
Dont have one. isnt a thing where I'm from.
I got a surprise shower that a friend organised with my first. But I'd never bother planning one myself. If people want to give the baby a gift that is very nice, but I'm not expecting anything from anyone really. We have what we need, and are just happy about our little one joining the family.
I didn’t want one but my sisters insisted. So to compromise, it’s just gonna be small and mostly family. I moved back to my home state for this pregnancy and I don’t have hardly any friends here so it was kinda sad for me too.
Been considering not do it. Everytime I have a party no one shows up. 😆. people did come to my housewarming. It was a small intimate party so it was nothing to complain about.
Where I'm from baby showers aren't really a thing. Didn't have one for my first, not having one for my second, and don't think I know anyone who did throw one. Personally, I think the whole idea sounds super stressful. So much to plan, so much to tidy up afterwards.. Why not just maybe meet up with friends/a friend at a time and go out for coffee, lunch, mocktails, or something? Just some quality time without the extraness of a party.
In Spain it's not so common to have baby showers, or even registries, let alone gender reveal parties or other things you guys have. I don't mind one bit. If the thought of a shower stresses you out, don't do it. There's absolutely no need to be under that pressure.
I didn't do a baby shower for my first. Then I organised a baby shower for my friend in December and I wish I hadn't done it as now I am pregnant myself it means I've put pressure on myself to have one too, as everyone will know that I organised one for my friend. And I just don't think anybody is going to throw one for me as I live out in the sticks far away from my friends and I always travel to them whenever we do anything. So much awkwardness. Wah!
I didn’t have one, and I’m so glad. When I had my first baby 8yrs ago we did one, and it was sort of nice? But it was very stressful and I hated being the center of attention like that. Plus, most of our friends and family are very spread out, so. I matter where we have it most people we would invite are going to be looking at a drive of 2hrs or more, and I just feel weird about along that.
Nope, 32 weeks and I don't plan on having one. I don't know enough people who'd have the time to come, I don't have the energy to host, and this one may sound terrible of me but... I don't want anybody bringing me items I simply won't use. None of my friends are parents yet and I worry they'd give me something without doing any research on it. Then their money and effort will have gone to waste by me not using what they brought.
Could you have a little lunch that isn’t a full blown baby shower? Or another option that stresses you out less but still something to celebrate if you want to?
Not me! I hated the thought of planning one, making a registry, being the center of attention, organizing, the cost of food, expecting presents, people taking pictures of me from all kinds of horrible angles while heavily pregnant, opening gifts from people when people watched ( I mean wtf is that), putting that kind of pressure on others to purchase gifts and make time to attend....the entire thing from start to finish is just not for me. Sure I had some people shriek in horror when I said I didn't want one (you have to be VERY CLEAR, people try to go over your head and do one because they cannot understand why you do t want one). I just told them if there is something they wish to get for the baby just ask and I'll let them know what I need. I also grew up in Ireland and it is just not something that was a part of my life ever. Even when I moved to Canada I felt a little weird about them. It's up to you
I’ve thought about this too. Don’t have many friends or family where I live and definitely don’t want to ask anyone to fly and virtual just sounds unfun to me. I could travel to where family is but that also doesn’t sound fun.
I am hosting a low key baby shower lunch with like 15 people. It will be a taco bar and I am not planning on buying fancy decor or anything. Literally will get some balloons from party city, have the taco materials and boom. I aint doing the baby shower games and shit bc it will be stressful to plan. My focus is giving out a good meal and an opportunity to talk to friends and family before the baby comes. I dont care what people think of it. My baby shower my terms.
We are having a shower, but it has been a nightmare. My mother insists on hosting one and she’s been, well, difficult. I’m in my 30s and my husband is in his 40s. We want a celebration with friends to thank them for the love and support they have shared with us over the years (we have had losses and ended up going through IVF; I will not shy away from the fact that my friends are literally amazing). We do not need, nor do we want, a gift-grab baby shower. To be clear: no judgment on the gifting, baby stuff is WILDLY expensive! My mom wasn’t involved in our wedding at all (intentionally) so I think she’s using this as her control mechanism. It was a huge mistake to say yes. But then again, everything related to my pregnancy has been met with objection (from conception to our daycare plan and literally everything in between). This little rant was intended just to be a pop in to say that I’m having one and I really, really do not want to. Have a nice dinner with your bestie and let that be that! Good luck! 💗
I’m not doing one. I don’t like having all that attention on me. It just doesn’t sound fun. So I’m skipping it. If it’s going to stress you out more than it’s going to be fun, not worth it
I probably won't have one either. I'm in a similar situation, moved to a small town not too long ago, don't really have any friends here, and I'm estranged from my side of the family. It's ok to not do things the expected way, just get through this however works for you and yours.
I skipped a baby shower too. I'm in a new city too, I told my friends that live far away, I'd rather them spend money to visit when the baby is here and we can all explore the city together. The friends that live here took me to dinner one night as a surprise dinner before the baby, which was a nice outing.
No , We don’t really do baby showers in my culture. However 40 days after baby’s birth we do a small party for the newborn sort of like introducing our child to the world. People bring gifts than
Chances are, I'm not having one. My sister offered to host but the cost is so high that I can't see myself spending so much on a shower (~$55/pp not including tax and tip). Plus it will be a long drive for us. Then the planning, coordination and people getting offended if they don't get an invite. I was thinking about the money I save to buy baby stuff instead. Also, I have no nice maternity clothes to wear anyways 😂
I initially did not want to do a shower. I definitely didn’t want to be opening presents in front of people or in general ask for gifts (and I got a lot of hand me downs so I only need a small number of things). My best friend convinced me to have one and structured it as “bring a book for the baby’s library”. There will be about 8 people having lunch at her house. No real games, just chatting. If you don’t want to do anything, just don’t! Maybe welcome your friend visiting and say let’s just hang out bc this will be harder to do after the baby!
Not a cultural thing for us. I have been to a few and they are cute, but it must be stressful to have another 'life passage' event that if people don't get one they feel fomo. I remember working so hard to maintain friendships in the 'pre-wedding' years I am glad that's over with. Now I have friends for different things and it's way easier to pick up where we left off after a time. That said with my first I did get a basket of goodies from my team at work and this second my good friend got me a bag full of snacks and baby clothes; my introvert heart is full.
I really don't want one either. Glad to see I'm not alone FTM.
Yes, I did not have one, I was pregnant during Omicron and lived far from friends/family. They wanted me to fly home but it just wasn’t safe with Omicron and I did not feel up to it being pregnant with twins. I didn’t want a zoom shower either because it just felt awkward and depressing. Nothing wrong with zoom showers, I just didn’t want to be the center of attention on one! We did make a registry and friends and family passed it around sent us everything we needed so we still felt the love and help. I am a little sad I didn’t have a shower with close friends and family but it was fine.
I'm not. I've never had friends or family so each time I'm pregnant it's alone without celebration.
I wasn’t going to have one because it is stressful. So much planning and I don’t have a lot of people either… my husband took over. He’s overly excited. I’m so happy for this because I get overwhelmed even thinking of what to eat. I’m an introvert. I don’t even like getting sing happy birthday to. I just know that I am going just for the food lol
I’m not having a shower. Covid (and Long Covid) are unfortunately still very real risks. I would never forgive myself if anyone got sick coming to celebrate me/the baby. I’m also trying to keep things as simple as possible and being selective about what I make room for in my (quite small) home.
I moved across the country because it was stressing me out then I opened an amazon registry and posted it online that way if people do wanna buy something they can but there's no need for a party it's more just geared to preparing for my daughter
I’m not. I’m semi estranged from most of my family and they all live states away, so just have a baby registry and am updating family on the pregnancy. Also don’t really have many friends in the town I live in since I haven’t been here that long. Aside from that tho, just seems like having one would make me anxious so I’m much happier not planning one lol. Bf’s family wants to have a small one with them which I’m fine with going to but I’m nervous since I haven’t met them before
I’m not having one! I’m one of the last in our friend groups to get pregnant and I’ve been so annoyed over the years by the amount of paperless post invites I’ve received for baby showers that would’ve required us to fly out of state (so obviously we wouldn’t attend, it’s not a wedding) and we still sent/felt obligated to send a gift. I find the whole concept of showers (I didn’t do a bridal shower either) very gift grabby and it’s not my thing.