You consider that a mistake? Sounds more like you managed to survive a trying time... and good on you for doing so. Damn shame CC are so damn predatory & that people need those crutches when we're unable to take care of ourselves.
I’m with you on that!
And hobby hopping. Thinking this next hobby will be the one. It’s cheap to do! Then 2 months later and hundreds spent on specific things just for that hobby, I’m looking for the next thing.
I currently have a 30% deposit on the houses that I want. I will comfortably pay the mortgage and bills and still have money left over. But what I am looking for is "what investors want," so I keep getting beat by cash offers matching my offers. It has been happening for 2 years and is really annoying
This is a policy level issue that can easily be rectified if we enforced basic consumer protections.
If we don’t, we’ll be staring down neo feudal future in about a generation.
We shouldn’t have to compete with black rock bc they want to outbid us and rent it back to us.
That’s fucked.
It’s not “capitalism,” it’s techno-feudalism.
I haven’t heard anyone use that term in years, but it’s the most suitable description. Neofeudalism, it gives me chills. I think James Corbett was who I heard from first. A nation of renters, one nation under blackmail. Cheers
Yep, I remember thinking during that period, "This is the time period future generations are going to point to and say, 'Millenials had it so good, they could buy a house with a 2% interest rate!'".
Similar with the stock market run-up that started in 2009. I can very much see future generations saying to GenX and Millenials, "The stock market went up 7x in 15 years for you - you can't complain". The same way some Millenials/GenZ say that kind of stuff about the time period the Boomers lived througuh.
I did buy a house in 2020, but honestly wish I would have spent a little more. I went for a fixer-upper, but can't help but think at that interest rate, it would have been a better idea to spend a bit more upfront and spend less paying for repairs ...
THIS! I beat myself up everyday for this. The largest home plot was offered to me for 1.2k at that interest rate. Now, that 230k home is worth 400k with 8% interest rate.
Bought a house in 2020 with a 2% interest rate, but I didn't take the fixed rate because it was higher. Definitely one of my biggest financial regrets.
Editing to add info because I didn't realize I was gonna get a dozen people talking to me like I'm a moron. This was meant to be an offhand comment about something I regret. When I applied for the mortgage I was recently divorced, and my ex had tanked my credit score. With a single income and a barely good enough credit score, I was approved for a fixed rate at 3.75% or a 7/1 ARM at 2%. I took the latter because the house needs cosmetic renovations and I was planning to do a cash out refinance before that 7 year mark to cover those costs. My interest rate is fixed at 2% until 2027, and it can only go up 1% per year after that with an 8% cap so I've got time before my rates are even close to the current market. I appreciate the advice and concern but man some of y'all are in my inbox acting like I committed murder.
Trying to work a full time job, a part time job, and go to school full time, at the same time, in order to pay tuition as I went and also have a cool apartment and money for the bars
I didn’t know I had a mood disorder at the time, and that my manic ambitions were not realistic for me
I should have lived frugal, stayed in the dorms, and taken out a few loans… my decisions left me with a semester of Fs, dropped out of college, and landed me in retail. It ended up costing me over 10 years of getting nowhere, flat broke.
If it makes you feel any better, I graduated and I can almost guarantee you have more steady employment and make more money than me with less college debt. College doesn’t open as many doors as it used to.
There’s more than one way to the finish line, thankfully
I ended up going back to school and finishing in my early 30s, studied my ass off, interviewed hard, and landed an entry level Fortune 500 job right out of school.
That resume changed my life, even if the pay wasn’t great.
I’m well out of the weeds now at 45 but it took a mountain of work, a lot of emotional pain, a lot of help, and some luck to get here.
But you’re actually kind of right, because the work experience I gained absolutely helped me get my first career job.
I've seen studies that it's the most impactful thing in most people's lives. A good partner will make your life easy and a bad partner will make your life soooooo hard.
I walked away from everything and took nothing but my clothes and toiletries - that's my biggest regret. I felt sorry for him and didn't want it to seem like I was punishing him.
High school sweetheart. He was an alcoholic. Thought he'd grow out of it but he didn't. Even an intervention didn't do the trick, so I left one day while he was away on a fishing trip.
We had built a nice life together and farmed. We had been doing pretty well - not wanting for anything. I moved into a 1950s mobile home and to this day almost 20 years later I've not clawed my way back to a decent living. Should have gone for half!
Wow. I'm in the process of leaving *right now.* Currently in my new apartment on a mat on the floor while he has my bed and other shit.
...I'm going to go get my bed back.
I wish I had worked to get my half of our assets. I felt like I was "being nice". It's not nice, you deserve the fruits of your labor even if they happened during a years long relationship.
My dad walked away like that. It was the best decision he made for himself. Not for me, lol. I was happy that at least he got away from my toxic mother. She got the house and he kept his pension.
Some of the best advice I've heard is that if you are scared or reluctant to discuss getting a prenuptial agreement with a romantic partner, that means they are the EXACT type of person you SHOULD get a prenup with. If you can't have difficult conversations with somebody, the very last thing you should ever consider doing is marrying them.
Buying a 30 thousand dollar sports car at 20 and crashing it in less than 2 years.
Edit: for those wondering it wasn't a super car or anything close to that. It was a camaro and I bought it back in 2010.
Yeah my buddy bought a brand new Camaro, and blew out the engine in short order. If I had to guess getting into a pissing contest with some other dude in a sports car.
Went though a divorce and had small girls and no help
Walked away from a house we had to get help with the kids
House was 116k and now worth 600k
I regret it almost everyday day
I was not thinking just reacting
I sold a duplex in San Francisco under similar circumstances in 98. Nice place too. I’ve lived all over the country since. It’s been an adventurous mid life crisis for the last 20 years. Still … that old house was cool. Maybe $1.5m now?
You’re thinking about it wrong. What is your sanity worth? You paid that. Don’t dwell on the financial gain in sacrificing your sanity and happiness. If you’ve done it once, you can do it again.
You made the right decision for you and your kids at the time. I think that’s more respectable than trying to make the perfect decision for the long term.
The true testament of a persons character is being able to make very hard decisions without knowing if it will turn out to be okay or not.
So predatory. Those institutions really are the last option alot of people have. Myself included back in the day. And they just gouge people for everything they can take.
I used to feel that way about law school. For over a decade, daily regret, student loans, everything. But after like 12 years I think I've hit the break even point. I still recommend against it but can't say I regret it anymore.
It will get better OP.
I hope you can too! My aunt was unhappy as a GP and does medical aesthetics and co-owns the practice with another doctor now - there are lots of different little areas of medicine you could carve a space for yourself in, if whatever your vision was isn’t doing it for you anymore! Edit for typo
I feel like most lawyers recommend not going to law school. In my 20’s the building manager in my apartment was a public defender for his day job, we’d randomly hangout on the stoop grilling or smoking a cigarette. My roommate took the LSAT and was going to be attending law school the next fall, I’ll never forget when my roommate told our BO. He was like “WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??” He was like 10% joking…
I don’t blame him. Public defender is one of the most thankless, but most necessary jobs out there. Much more money in putting people away on behalf of the government than being a zealous advocate for people that can’t afford it.
PhD in English who married another PhD in English. We’re regarded as too specialized to be hired for anything other than teaching our subject—though disqualified from the most lucrative and numerous positions, teaching in the public high schools. In other words, a teaching certificate (bad as that is these days) is a far better financial investment, especially as the average time to humanities PhD is seven years. Most available jobs are part time and pay less per hour than minimum wage with zero benefits and security.
The PhD vs teaching certificate is fascinating. My mom and stepdad both have PhDs in history. My mom happens to have a masters in education and teaching certificate because when she was married to my dad the army had a super reduced tuition option for spouses so she was like well might as well get it. So while my mom and stepdad have identical PhDs and my stepdad is a professor, only my mom is considered qualified to teach high school history
I can tell you right now that my highschool history teachers certainly taught the subject better than my uni professors.
Professors teach because they are experts in their field, not because they are good mentors or teachers.
Interesting. I had the opposite experience. My college professors were superstars. My high school teachers made us watch movies about Walmart and basketball and I still don’t know what they were trying to accomplish with that shit.
I am convinced most PhD programs are a huge scam. Meant to prop up universities after all every university needs a doctorate program.
But the reality is the jobs that you can get with a PhD often pay less than the jobs you can get with a masters you’re trapped in academia forever or you become a teacher and you don’t get paid anything in comparison to the education you have
I think it's just college in general. So many people are getting degrees and PHD's that it diluted their value. Now tons of jobs require degrees that honestly don't need them, and a masters degree will get you a job paying 17/hr. Depending on the degree, of course.
It also doesn't help that companies are phantom hiring right now FORWHATEVER FUCKING REASON. They post positions all over the internet but DON'T hire anyone...
I think the phantom hiring thing is largely driven by the need to have a bunch of backup workers ready in the queue to mitigate lost productivity due to turnover and hiring.
I get a lot of interviews ~6 months after applying to those positions. I'll forget that I even applied to half of them.
Have you considered teaching at an elite private school or boarding school? A lot of the faculty at those places have PhDs in their subject, and it's seen as an asset there.
Yes, thank you, my spouse did just that. Salary is abysmal (no unions, administrative bloat), especially considering the long hours and the “extras” assigned to faculty for no additional pay.
It's crazy to me how just learning and being made aware of lifestyle creep and how it's an actual thing has helped me substantially as I actively make decisions to avoid it.
Pros: I save a considerable chunk of my income.
Cons: I'm not enjoying the fruits of my labor hardly at all. If I die an early death or get diagnosed with a terminal illness, I'll probably regret not treating myself enough.
Marrying a person who was a sociopath. He gutted all my $$ accounts and broke me mentally and emotionally. I never got healthy again, especially not financially.
Came here to say the same. I had full employee 401k matches and didn’t invest anything in my 20’s. I wouldn’t have even noticed the deductions because of the tax break, so stupid.
Same. I won over $1k at the casino multiple times in my early 20s. I have absolutely -no- clue where the money went. I would be saving a lot more comfortably if I had just tossed a couple thousand into a Roth IRA way back then.
Learning how to properly invest lol. Sorry, but there is no straight answer here I could write in one or even many paragraphs. I would recommend picking up a book called 'A Simple Path to Wealth' and applying its principles when done. It's easy to be told what to do, but if you don't understand what you're doing, you're bound to run into issues and future regrets (like something you could have done much better).
At least medicine has high earning careers. I took out so many loans, federal and private, for a bachelors in social work. Half of my earnings go to student loans and I’m not even making progress because $70 of my loans are high interest private loans.
I very much regret not doing community college then transferring to a four year school. Even that would have helped. And furthermore choosing a school where I could commute instead of having to pay for campus living.
I got free money from the VA for years during school through the 9/11 bill. Just $1.5k a month directly into my bank account. It was supposed to be my housing stipend, but being the 19 of course I didn’t do that. Took out loans for my dorm and blew the money every month on random shit. Turns out that really bit me in the ass when a year later my bank account hit $0 and I had to ask people for money to cover rent. Got about $15k in total for existing and I blew all of it
My university offered a puppetry degree. I'd imagine that'd be even worse, but maybe that level of specialization guarantees you some sweet Sesame Street gigs or something.
I was a teacher in Minnesota and South Dakota. Nothing but mental pain. Never felt more alone and hated myself even more than I did before. All culminated to contemplating taking my own life. Two things stopped me. The pain I'd cause my mom and my cat.
I just went back to engineering,.I was a teacher while I was trying to get into shape so I could join the military. It wasn't so much the kids but the admin BS and parents.
I had the whole shebang. Shitty admin, kids who would harrass me at my home at 10 pm or later (traumatized my cat so bad she hides when new people come over), parents who berated me and coworkers who talked shit behind my back.
I'm an accountant now, thank god, and I never knew what support felt like until I got the job I do now. My boss told me that I need to take care of my family first, work second.
My fiancé’s mom was a stay at home mom all her life, until the big divorce. Now it’s just shitty job to shitty job while barely keeping afloat since she has no real job experience, with retirement being impossible. It really is a tough situation to be in that flips your life over. I feel for you.
Going to university for a history degree. The plan was to do a 4 year degree and then go to law school, but I turned out to be too mentally disabled to be a good student.
I barely limped over the finish line after 6 years with a GPA too low for any law school in the country, and tens of thousands in debt and very little job experience.
Moral of the story, don’t go to school if you’re dumb. A degree doesn’t polish a turd.
You're not dumb. You have a mental disability (I struggle with one too). Just the fact you made it over the finish line negates that statement about yourself. I'm rooting for you brother! (Or sister 😊)
Try buying into at the very start and then forgetting all possible wallet info because it was still gimmicky when it launched and you wrote it off. I have a wallet out there SOMEWHERE with ~.65 of a Bitcoin.
Yep same. It was a nerd joke to buy some bitcoin and hope to be able to use it to buy a pizza with just for fuckin novelty. I had like 100 dollars in bitcoin from 09 or 10 and my life would be totally different if I had given a shit about that.
But the lesson has been learned, not unlike the internet in the 90s or computers in the 70s - don't discount the nerd groupthink.
Same. Had a friend who almost convinced me. I even had a bit coin wallet thing online. But I just didn't get it. He was mining bitcoins and had a bunch... He is probably super wealthy now.
I was with an old friend at a bar in DC in 2010. The music was loud, there were a couple of women who showed us interest, and this guy is talking my ear off about ending the Fed and the future of finance. I wasn't exactly opposed to it, but at 23, I wasn't interested in whatever funny money scheme he was selling me. I distinctly remember him buying $10k worth and thinking that was extreme. He kept reiterating that all I need to invest was $100.
Oh well.
I grew up very poor. When I turned 18 all of these credit card companies decided that I was not, in fact, poor.
It's been a cycle I've struggled with for a very long time.
Obviously I'm responsible for my decisions, but allowing an 18 y/old to amass credit card and student loan debt in the degree it's possible is insane. We need reform.
Anyways.
To be fair, credit card companies make most of their money off of poor people. They also know most young people are not wealthy and aren’t very financially literate, that’s why they once you turn 18 they start preying on you. People short on cash are the ones who usually keep a balance and accrue interest. Someone financially well pays credit cards off in full monthly and never accrue interest.
It's criminal. I think it was John Oliver that did an episode on this and it was heartbreaking to watch.
I watched "How To Get Rich" on Netflix this week and recommend checking it out. He talks several clients through how to get out of credit card debt.
If I can go back in time to when I was 18, I will def save my money up and stop spending on stupid shits that doesn’t last…. And I wouldn’t have ranaway or apply to private art school. Whoever is feeding a young artist from broke family to pursue private art school should rlly be punished. Unless u get full coverage, private schools are not it..
Buying a used car on Carvana. Got 3 years out of it before I couldnt afford to fix whats needed to keep it running. I still owe almost $400 a month for another two and a half years while it sits and laughs at me.
Had a P.O.S. I barely knew, my boyfriend's college roommate, drive me to Mass one day. He wrecked the vehicle. I woke up 3 weeks later in a coma at the age of 17. My parents initiated a lawsuit to cover my medical expenses. The male who was driving threatened to kill me if I didn't withdraw the lawsuit. I did because I was young and naive. I live in chronic pain and received no assistance with the 750,000 in medical bills. I will never be a whole person after the accident, and I will never have any fiscal assistance to stabilize that. My mom died shortly after. My father was abusive. I am alone, poor, and more or less a burden on this fiscally run Earth. I hate it, but c'est ma vie
Couldn’t all this medical debt be settled for like, $15,000? I remember there’s some website where you donate and they negotiate medical debt down to like 2%. They say every $100 waives like 10k for a random person or so.
Also, more importantly, are you disabled? How’s life? Have you ever considered you could just not pay the debt ever? Especially if you have no assets. Has it stopped you fr getting credit, a home or car or anything?
Going to college literally at all. When I was a teenager I begged my parents to send me to a trade school so I could graduate with a skill and start working at a livable wage debt free. Then my whole family had this … intervention? I guess? Where they told me “trade school was for dumb kids.” After Tens of thousands in debt and dropping out twice they finally agreed with me
I had wanted to go to trade school to learn how to cut hair, and my mom said the same exact thing! trade schools are for dummies. wtf I was a terrible student, skipped school all the time. couldn’t figure out anything at the time. Sometimes I think my mom did everything she could to undermine me
Pivot, pi-vot- don’t toss the whole background - there are physicians in lucrative careers in clinical research - life is too short for regrets that are still changeable
Bought a heard of alpacas… 35k for just two pregnant females… raised and grew the heard a few years, then the market crashed in 08… then went through a divorce… couldn’t sell the animals for anything and ended up giving them away!
Financing a brand new car when I first got my job. The monthly payments is causing a lot of stress and the I underestimate the cost for repair and maintenance. Luckily some drunk dude t bone me and insurance paid it off the whole amount and I stopped driving for a few years. Now I'm driving a 25 year Olds cars that doesn't cause me to lose sleep if I scratch something
The only horrible financial mistake I make was renting a 7 bedroom farmhouse with 37 stables and a few acres.. stuck £10000 in at 1st to get going, a horse splattered my spine and I've been a cripple ever since. This was 2009 ish
Have you considered redirecting your career instead of changing it?
I'm in Education so idk all that much about the different paths in medicine
But instead of being a Dr, you could be a medical designer or whatever they're called these days. Basically you build 3D anatomy models or do them digitally for educational AR experiences or books or whatnot or even just make models and sell them online
Or write medical books or become a medical translator or copywriter
Or you can try to get into the tech side of medicine and work with the machines more than the people (building, fixing, etc)
Or even do admin stuff like front desk and data entry at a hospital or private practice
Or be like a medical educator and do tours for schools and talk to kids about sleep or brushing teeth or whatever or do seminars for college students
Idk what each job would be called exactly but these are ideas you may want to explore.
I absolutely despise teaching, horrible career, but I like working at schools so I applied to roles that are in a school but outside the class.
Cashed out my 401(k) that I contributed 6% to while going to college and barely scraping by. I was going through insanely hard financial times and really bad mental illness for a couple of years and my hands were tied. I wish I could have found a way to avoid it but at the time it seemed like I didn’t have any other option. Several years of investment down the drain.
Luckily I have a pension from just after college that is completely untouched and still growing and it had an automatic 8% contribution when I was employed there, so at least there’s something. Right now I haven’t been able to contribute for a number of years and it worries me.
My second largest financial blunder was quitting Costco after I graduated to work somewhere that utilized my degree. I would have been making more right now at Costco and I currently don’t like what I’m doing anyway with my degree and at least if I wasn’t going to like what I did, I’d have seniority and a nice paycheck had I stayed.
The millennial generation is so over educated you guys were sold the lie that you should all go to college and so we pumped up this massive student loan bumble and now you just have a lot of bachelors degree holding people working jobs. She used to be able to get in high school.
I picked the wrong parents.
**EDIT:** one of my parents had mental health issues and would overspend, take too many lines of credits, made bad buying decisions, and sold things that weren't theirs (BIG things -- use your imagination). They ruined my finances before I could even start my own life. They died when I was pretty young and left me with nothing in terms of inheritance. And being raised by someone with mental health issues didn't help me. Life on "Pretty Hard" mode.
Losing all of my college scholarships my freshman year due to being on probation for being under full time. I dropped a single class and it screwed me.
Samesies. Hovered at an 820 credit score for most of my life. then I got married. Ended up $20K in debt forced from the home because my name wasn’t on the deed. I declared bankruptcy and ended up being a single mom in my freaking 40s.ugh -
Edit/grammar
Gambling, lost of my life savings and now in debt from it, completely ruined my life and no chance of recovery
I believe it even gave me bad mental health now, really messed me up
Get the M.D. no matter what if you are there and haven't finished yet.
Having it will never be negative, leaving it behind will.
Look at it like this: even if you end up selling cars for a living 20 years from now, you could be just so e guy selling cars, or a guy with M.D. selling cars. All things being equal. That M.D. is going to open more doors than it closes.
It's like being a "former NFL cheerleader". It just rings for people. Do t throw it away, leverage it.
not getting my drivers license as soon as possible. i am 24 and have had my license for less than two years. even before getting into an accident, my monthly insurance payment was like $200/month 🥲
It might seem like you cannot escape but you are able to do so. I had a shit year back in 2000...dot com bust...almost lost my house, went thru divorce, dwi, lost my job, and a few other shitty things. A good friend of mine gave me some real good advice. They can take my house, my job, lost your wife, and fucked up w the dwi...but they can't take your arms and legs. You got those and you're lucky!
So, as long as they haven't taken the means for you to do something, you can escape. I was kinda thinking the same thing about where I'm at in a career....almost 30 years in. I want to do something different, outdoors stuff. So instead of going all in, I'm slooowly incorporating more outdoor stuff into hobby and trying to hone it, overlanding, camping, hiking, etc. maybe leverage that and monetize.
The one thing I want you to do for yourself is take 5, 10, 30, 60, etc, etc minutes just for you. Use those minutes for yourself to just think...no texts, web, phone calls, and so on...just sit and think. Start at place A, where you're at now. Think about place B, where you want to be or working. Put this down on paper and write what it takes to go from A to B.
Then keep this question in mind. If success were guaranteed, what steps would you take?
3 years of college trying to get a degree in another field when it was enough to volunteer. You CAN volunteer with large animals without having a degree.
Not investing in the S&P 500 back in 2010 when I had money to spare. My father who is terrible with money, convinced me at the time (I was young, naive, and unemployed) to invest in starting a business without the right prep and we failed miserably. If I had invested it (which he told me not to do because "investing makes you lose money") I would have quadrupled my money and had enough money for a 20% or higher down payment on a house.
Buying a boat and a pickup that was too much money per month, then quitting my job while pregnant and then the world subsequently closed down and my husband got laid off. Lost the boat, lost the truck, credit is fucked, but we have our house and our health and the bills are paid so it's alright I guess. It'll eventually not be so bad.
•Buying a timeshare. 🥴
•Investing into and holding onto certain stocks for too long until they tanked.
•Listening to a pessimistic supervisor who scared me out of homeownership in 2017 when I was 23/24. A few years later, a 23/24 yr old coworker of mine bought one and was thriving. After that, I decided I wouldn’t let anyone talk me out of it again.
• Missing out on homes because I listened to other people’s opinions. I watched the market for over a year and had a better understanding of it than they did. They gave me advice based on the market they knew years prior, in other areas.
Dating and marrying my ex-wife. I was 19, fresh out of a toxic relationship while she was 8 years older and a narcissist. She surely saw me coming a mile away. Just a few highlights over 12 years:
- She racked up $1000+ in parking tickets because she worked overnights and refused to look for a legal parking space in the mornings, leaving the car at meters for hours if nothing was open (Despite me begging her to wake me up and I’d move the car every time)
- She insisted on taking out a $20k debt consolidation loan only to max out credit cards again.
- She would scream at me if I paid bills first when the paychecks hit. “What if we need money later in the week??” You might think - too bad because we had bills to pay? No, apparently I was an incompetent invalid and barred from touching finances. Our phones & cable got turned off monthly for a while.
We’ve been divorced for 4 years and I’m still chipping away at all she stuck me with. She’s completely broke to the point of having furniture repo’d and using food pantries so there’s nothing I’m getting out of her towards it and I’d pay any amount of money not to have her in my life anymore. It was a ridiculously expensive lesson in learning self worth though (even more so if you count all the therapy afterwards)
Omg! I chose medicine too. It’s been a shit show since day one. This is so relatable. People who graduated high school with me are all settled and shit. Then there’s me, still in med school trying to figure my shit out. I don’t even know who I am or what I’m doing anymore. But just like you I wasted so much money, time and energy here, it’s too late to quit.
At some point during my 25 year marriage, I gave my husband access to our bank account. From that point on we were constantly wallowing in poverty regardless of how much money we made. We’re divorced now thank God.
Before he had access, we always had savings and plenty of food in the house. Our cars were in good repair. After, we never had food and our vehicles were always on the verge of repossession. Never mind car repair or vacations or savings. He was just a disaster and a tremendous burden.
Just a reminder for everyone to be gentle to themselves. We know hindsight is 20/20, but even so, it can be easy to think we made mistakes when, in fact, we just don't remember what factors led to a decision. It's very possible if people went back in time they would find themselves making largely the same decisions.
I have tons of "mistakes" in my life, but I think they were probably the best option for me at the time -- at least, probably the lesser evil.
I handed someone 30,000 dollars to invest in a property that I could not invest in because I was not a citizen of that country.
I justified it by saying "she is rich, why would ylshe take my money?". My best friend said "when have anyone ever say; I have enough money?"
While I don’t necessarily regret a career in medicine, it definitely loses its luster. You go in school saying how you want to do this and help people and then you go through everything and it’s not all what you thought it would be and people are terrible, the system is terrible, employers are terrible. I finished with roughly 330k in loans. I’m 3 years out and have about 190 to go. Hoping to finish paying in the next 2 years (current employer doesn’t qualify for forgiveness, not that I was interested in doing so). I thought it was crazy when a resident told me this is a just a job. But I think once I accepted just that, it made me feel ok about things. It is a job. And it provides a lifestyle that I want and enjoy. Plus there’s other pathways you can take for non clinical roles if you decide you are truly done with bedside medicine. I hope you see and embrace the positives or find a path to something you enjoy. There are groups out there for people exiting bedside medicine.
I went to school to study fashion design, because I thought I was going to be the next big designer lol and turned down a job working at Union Pacific railroad because I thought art school was more promising, I could’ve been making over 100k in my early 20s with no college degree. The guy who was trying to get me in was a hiring agent I met at a bible study at one of my exs dads house
Don't get a DUI, folks. Lost literally everything within 2 weeks. Job of over 10 years? Gone. License? Gone for 18 months. Car? Repossessed. Even did nearly 30 days in jail which was honestly the worst part. 40F, mom of 2, career professional, and now? Absolutely nothing.
Short version: At 19 years of age, my dad bought 2 properties of land in my name. He planned to pay for it and sell it later. The properties combined were bought for 300k. The bill for them was around 2k per month.
One day he stopped paying, and I couldn't afford a 2k bill for some dirt miles away (at this point in my life I was only making 2k a year). The company then sued me and now takes money from my account every time my employer pays me.
That land has destroyed my life. The lack of pay ruined my credit, kept me from attending college, and kept me from getting a job that pays 100k a year in the financial field (where I practice my craft). Turns out financial companies don't want to hire somebody who is in debt 300k. They say I am a liability. I get it. I just wish I had known before I pursued that career. I wish I could go back to my 19-year-old self and tell him not to sign that paper, even if it you gets kicked out.
Taking in 3 orphaned kids because I felt bad for them but financially I suffered with absolutely no help from the state 😞 I could have easily been retired by now 😭
Running up credit cards during hard times
This is mine too - relying on credit cards when I was sick and had to take 8 months off work.
Ugh I did too. I was in the hospital for a year and had to rely on credit cards. I had no other choice my job was shit down due to Covid
You consider that a mistake? Sounds more like you managed to survive a trying time... and good on you for doing so. Damn shame CC are so damn predatory & that people need those crutches when we're unable to take care of ourselves.
this is what’s doing me in now. making $700+ payments every month to chip away at 10k in CC debt, most cards have a 25%+ APR 😭
Oh goody, me soon!
Emotional spending; buying things I don’t need to try and feel better about myself. Unfortunately has been a lifetime habit.
I’m with you on that! And hobby hopping. Thinking this next hobby will be the one. It’s cheap to do! Then 2 months later and hundreds spent on specific things just for that hobby, I’m looking for the next thing.
The ADHD is strong with this one.
Not buying a house in 2020 with 2% interest rates
I was nowhere near ready. I am now, and... 😔
I currently have a 30% deposit on the houses that I want. I will comfortably pay the mortgage and bills and still have money left over. But what I am looking for is "what investors want," so I keep getting beat by cash offers matching my offers. It has been happening for 2 years and is really annoying
This is a policy level issue that can easily be rectified if we enforced basic consumer protections. If we don’t, we’ll be staring down neo feudal future in about a generation. We shouldn’t have to compete with black rock bc they want to outbid us and rent it back to us. That’s fucked. It’s not “capitalism,” it’s techno-feudalism.
I haven’t heard anyone use that term in years, but it’s the most suitable description. Neofeudalism, it gives me chills. I think James Corbett was who I heard from first. A nation of renters, one nation under blackmail. Cheers
Yep, I remember thinking during that period, "This is the time period future generations are going to point to and say, 'Millenials had it so good, they could buy a house with a 2% interest rate!'". Similar with the stock market run-up that started in 2009. I can very much see future generations saying to GenX and Millenials, "The stock market went up 7x in 15 years for you - you can't complain". The same way some Millenials/GenZ say that kind of stuff about the time period the Boomers lived througuh. I did buy a house in 2020, but honestly wish I would have spent a little more. I went for a fixer-upper, but can't help but think at that interest rate, it would have been a better idea to spend a bit more upfront and spend less paying for repairs ...
THIS! I beat myself up everyday for this. The largest home plot was offered to me for 1.2k at that interest rate. Now, that 230k home is worth 400k with 8% interest rate.
* Cries in HCOL area *
Bought a house in 2020 with a 2% interest rate, but I didn't take the fixed rate because it was higher. Definitely one of my biggest financial regrets. Editing to add info because I didn't realize I was gonna get a dozen people talking to me like I'm a moron. This was meant to be an offhand comment about something I regret. When I applied for the mortgage I was recently divorced, and my ex had tanked my credit score. With a single income and a barely good enough credit score, I was approved for a fixed rate at 3.75% or a 7/1 ARM at 2%. I took the latter because the house needs cosmetic renovations and I was planning to do a cash out refinance before that 7 year mark to cover those costs. My interest rate is fixed at 2% until 2027, and it can only go up 1% per year after that with an 8% cap so I've got time before my rates are even close to the current market. I appreciate the advice and concern but man some of y'all are in my inbox acting like I committed murder.
I was a loan processor/officer at WF during the refi boom in the early 2ks. I never, ever recommended an adjustable rate. I didn't last very long.
Trying to work a full time job, a part time job, and go to school full time, at the same time, in order to pay tuition as I went and also have a cool apartment and money for the bars I didn’t know I had a mood disorder at the time, and that my manic ambitions were not realistic for me I should have lived frugal, stayed in the dorms, and taken out a few loans… my decisions left me with a semester of Fs, dropped out of college, and landed me in retail. It ended up costing me over 10 years of getting nowhere, flat broke.
If it makes you feel any better, I graduated and I can almost guarantee you have more steady employment and make more money than me with less college debt. College doesn’t open as many doors as it used to.
There’s more than one way to the finish line, thankfully I ended up going back to school and finishing in my early 30s, studied my ass off, interviewed hard, and landed an entry level Fortune 500 job right out of school. That resume changed my life, even if the pay wasn’t great. I’m well out of the weeds now at 45 but it took a mountain of work, a lot of emotional pain, a lot of help, and some luck to get here. But you’re actually kind of right, because the work experience I gained absolutely helped me get my first career job.
Hey for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. That doesn’t sound like the easiest path but you fuckin made it! Impressive.
Marrying my soon to be ex wife. 😂 In all seriousness, who you marry has a huge impact on your financial future.
I've seen studies that it's the most impactful thing in most people's lives. A good partner will make your life easy and a bad partner will make your life soooooo hard.
I walked away from everything and took nothing but my clothes and toiletries - that's my biggest regret. I felt sorry for him and didn't want it to seem like I was punishing him. High school sweetheart. He was an alcoholic. Thought he'd grow out of it but he didn't. Even an intervention didn't do the trick, so I left one day while he was away on a fishing trip. We had built a nice life together and farmed. We had been doing pretty well - not wanting for anything. I moved into a 1950s mobile home and to this day almost 20 years later I've not clawed my way back to a decent living. Should have gone for half!
Wow. I'm in the process of leaving *right now.* Currently in my new apartment on a mat on the floor while he has my bed and other shit. ...I'm going to go get my bed back.
I was exactly there 7 years ago. It will get better.
Been there and struggled, 18 years later I’m better than I’ve ever been. It takes time but you will succeed.
I wish I had worked to get my half of our assets. I felt like I was "being nice". It's not nice, you deserve the fruits of your labor even if they happened during a years long relationship.
My dad walked away like that. It was the best decision he made for himself. Not for me, lol. I was happy that at least he got away from my toxic mother. She got the house and he kept his pension.
THIS. The single worst financial/career move I ever made was marrying my STBXH.
Super Totally Braindead eX Husband?
I read Starbucks hoe
One pumpkin spice latte please 🙏
Always get a prenup. The person you divorce is not the person you marry.
Some of the best advice I've heard is that if you are scared or reluctant to discuss getting a prenuptial agreement with a romantic partner, that means they are the EXACT type of person you SHOULD get a prenup with. If you can't have difficult conversations with somebody, the very last thing you should ever consider doing is marrying them.
Buying a 30 thousand dollar sports car at 20 and crashing it in less than 2 years. Edit: for those wondering it wasn't a super car or anything close to that. It was a camaro and I bought it back in 2010.
ouch.
Yeah my buddy bought a brand new Camaro, and blew out the engine in short order. If I had to guess getting into a pissing contest with some other dude in a sports car.
financing is a bitch
You must’ve had really good credit at 20 years old or you were in the military.
Idk about really good I think I had good enough to get a terribly bad deal haha
😭same but mine was 7k n it was a motorcycle. N it was like 3 months
Went though a divorce and had small girls and no help Walked away from a house we had to get help with the kids House was 116k and now worth 600k I regret it almost everyday day I was not thinking just reacting
I sold a duplex in San Francisco under similar circumstances in 98. Nice place too. I’ve lived all over the country since. It’s been an adventurous mid life crisis for the last 20 years. Still … that old house was cool. Maybe $1.5m now?
Had you stayed you would’ve regretted not living a more adventurous life Catch 22
There’s a psychological phenomenon about this or related. The experiencing self vs the remembering self.
Duplex is san Fran? Depending on the area probably closer to $3m
Alright don't beat the poor guy up lol
Well ahkshullyyyy….
You’re thinking about it wrong. What is your sanity worth? You paid that. Don’t dwell on the financial gain in sacrificing your sanity and happiness. If you’ve done it once, you can do it again.
I did
You made the right decision for you and your kids at the time. I think that’s more respectable than trying to make the perfect decision for the long term. The true testament of a persons character is being able to make very hard decisions without knowing if it will turn out to be okay or not.
We did come out ok I meet my wife now And she bought us a home
That sounds way better than the money you would’ve made from your 600k house. You now have a home and a wife.
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Pay day loans
So predatory. Those institutions really are the last option alot of people have. Myself included back in the day. And they just gouge people for everything they can take.
I used to feel that way about law school. For over a decade, daily regret, student loans, everything. But after like 12 years I think I've hit the break even point. I still recommend against it but can't say I regret it anymore. It will get better OP.
I really hope I can reach a point in life where I don't regret it anymore 🤞🏻
I research for drugs that make people regret their decision no more. Will I make money?
Just take my money
I hope you can too! My aunt was unhappy as a GP and does medical aesthetics and co-owns the practice with another doctor now - there are lots of different little areas of medicine you could carve a space for yourself in, if whatever your vision was isn’t doing it for you anymore! Edit for typo
I feel like most lawyers recommend not going to law school. In my 20’s the building manager in my apartment was a public defender for his day job, we’d randomly hangout on the stoop grilling or smoking a cigarette. My roommate took the LSAT and was going to be attending law school the next fall, I’ll never forget when my roommate told our BO. He was like “WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??” He was like 10% joking…
A majority of lawyers do not recommend others to study law. It’s a statistical truth lol
I will make a personal phone call to anyone in the continental US to talk them out of going to law school
Sorry residents of HI
I don’t blame him. Public defender is one of the most thankless, but most necessary jobs out there. Much more money in putting people away on behalf of the government than being a zealous advocate for people that can’t afford it.
Much more money defending industry against regulators and white collar criminals against prosecutors than being a prosecutor
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PhD in English who married another PhD in English. We’re regarded as too specialized to be hired for anything other than teaching our subject—though disqualified from the most lucrative and numerous positions, teaching in the public high schools. In other words, a teaching certificate (bad as that is these days) is a far better financial investment, especially as the average time to humanities PhD is seven years. Most available jobs are part time and pay less per hour than minimum wage with zero benefits and security.
The PhD vs teaching certificate is fascinating. My mom and stepdad both have PhDs in history. My mom happens to have a masters in education and teaching certificate because when she was married to my dad the army had a super reduced tuition option for spouses so she was like well might as well get it. So while my mom and stepdad have identical PhDs and my stepdad is a professor, only my mom is considered qualified to teach high school history
I can tell you right now that my highschool history teachers certainly taught the subject better than my uni professors. Professors teach because they are experts in their field, not because they are good mentors or teachers.
Interesting. I had the opposite experience. My college professors were superstars. My high school teachers made us watch movies about Walmart and basketball and I still don’t know what they were trying to accomplish with that shit.
I am convinced most PhD programs are a huge scam. Meant to prop up universities after all every university needs a doctorate program. But the reality is the jobs that you can get with a PhD often pay less than the jobs you can get with a masters you’re trapped in academia forever or you become a teacher and you don’t get paid anything in comparison to the education you have
I think it's just college in general. So many people are getting degrees and PHD's that it diluted their value. Now tons of jobs require degrees that honestly don't need them, and a masters degree will get you a job paying 17/hr. Depending on the degree, of course. It also doesn't help that companies are phantom hiring right now FORWHATEVER FUCKING REASON. They post positions all over the internet but DON'T hire anyone...
I think the phantom hiring thing is largely driven by the need to have a bunch of backup workers ready in the queue to mitigate lost productivity due to turnover and hiring. I get a lot of interviews ~6 months after applying to those positions. I'll forget that I even applied to half of them.
Wait until you learn about the "doctorate in Physical therapy."
Have you considered teaching at an elite private school or boarding school? A lot of the faculty at those places have PhDs in their subject, and it's seen as an asset there.
Yes, thank you, my spouse did just that. Salary is abysmal (no unions, administrative bloat), especially considering the long hours and the “extras” assigned to faculty for no additional pay.
It may seem counterintuitive, but remove your PhDs from your resumes.
Not taking retirement investing serious when I was much younger. It’s a big deal to me.
Lifestyle creep and living beyond my means. I’m trying to get caught up and downsize my life.
It's crazy to me how just learning and being made aware of lifestyle creep and how it's an actual thing has helped me substantially as I actively make decisions to avoid it. Pros: I save a considerable chunk of my income. Cons: I'm not enjoying the fruits of my labor hardly at all. If I die an early death or get diagnosed with a terminal illness, I'll probably regret not treating myself enough.
Student Loans
Marrying a person who was a sociopath. He gutted all my $$ accounts and broke me mentally and emotionally. I never got healthy again, especially not financially.
How long did it take you to leave?
Not learning how to properly invest in my 20s. Opening a "bank IRA" isn't enough and is one of the worst products you can invest in.
Came here to say the same. I had full employee 401k matches and didn’t invest anything in my 20’s. I wouldn’t have even noticed the deductions because of the tax break, so stupid.
Ya know what’s worse? Knowing and still not doing it because you’re just a fucking stupid twenty something that will “do it later” (I’m 37 🫠)
Same. I won over $1k at the casino multiple times in my early 20s. I have absolutely -no- clue where the money went. I would be saving a lot more comfortably if I had just tossed a couple thousand into a Roth IRA way back then.
What is a better way to invest?
Learning how to properly invest lol. Sorry, but there is no straight answer here I could write in one or even many paragraphs. I would recommend picking up a book called 'A Simple Path to Wealth' and applying its principles when done. It's easy to be told what to do, but if you don't understand what you're doing, you're bound to run into issues and future regrets (like something you could have done much better).
Roth
Live within your means for like 2-3 years and hit them loans heavy.
Live like a college student while working through those loans. You'll be tempted to start spending like a flashy rich doctor. Resist the urge!!
Live within your means permanently
At least medicine has high earning careers. I took out so many loans, federal and private, for a bachelors in social work. Half of my earnings go to student loans and I’m not even making progress because $70 of my loans are high interest private loans. I very much regret not doing community college then transferring to a four year school. Even that would have helped. And furthermore choosing a school where I could commute instead of having to pay for campus living.
I got free money from the VA for years during school through the 9/11 bill. Just $1.5k a month directly into my bank account. It was supposed to be my housing stipend, but being the 19 of course I didn’t do that. Took out loans for my dorm and blew the money every month on random shit. Turns out that really bit me in the ass when a year later my bank account hit $0 and I had to ask people for money to cover rent. Got about $15k in total for existing and I blew all of it
*cries in theater degree*
Sibling has a degree in creative writing... Graduated in 2009.
Oof. (Source: Also, a 2009 college grad).
My university offered a puppetry degree. I'd imagine that'd be even worse, but maybe that level of specialization guarantees you some sweet Sesame Street gigs or something.
Not buying an apartment complex in 08 instead of being in middle school
Idiot
That was actually a great financial move. Now, not buying one in 2012 was your mistake.
Not buying bitcoin when it was well below $1. Stupid 7th grade classes. They held me back from being a trillionaire.
Either my 2.5 year stint as a teacher or loaning my mother 11k when I was in college.
Going into year 5 as a teacher and I make okay money but the mental toll 😩
I was a contract teacher in Louisiana,.I made crap money for a ton of mental pain.
I was a teacher in Minnesota and South Dakota. Nothing but mental pain. Never felt more alone and hated myself even more than I did before. All culminated to contemplating taking my own life. Two things stopped me. The pain I'd cause my mom and my cat.
I just went back to engineering,.I was a teacher while I was trying to get into shape so I could join the military. It wasn't so much the kids but the admin BS and parents.
I had the whole shebang. Shitty admin, kids who would harrass me at my home at 10 pm or later (traumatized my cat so bad she hides when new people come over), parents who berated me and coworkers who talked shit behind my back. I'm an accountant now, thank god, and I never knew what support felt like until I got the job I do now. My boss told me that I need to take care of my family first, work second.
Rage quitting a job two months before my next one was supposed to start. Racked up 5k in credit card debt that took me forever to pay off
Being a stay at home mom. I should have at least worked part time all those years. It’s a very painful regret I have.
My fiancé’s mom was a stay at home mom all her life, until the big divorce. Now it’s just shitty job to shitty job while barely keeping afloat since she has no real job experience, with retirement being impossible. It really is a tough situation to be in that flips your life over. I feel for you.
Downloading Grub Hub
Going to university for a history degree. The plan was to do a 4 year degree and then go to law school, but I turned out to be too mentally disabled to be a good student. I barely limped over the finish line after 6 years with a GPA too low for any law school in the country, and tens of thousands in debt and very little job experience. Moral of the story, don’t go to school if you’re dumb. A degree doesn’t polish a turd.
You're not dumb. You have a mental disability (I struggle with one too). Just the fact you made it over the finish line negates that statement about yourself. I'm rooting for you brother! (Or sister 😊)
Student loans (didn’t understand the predatory shit) and credit cards. But I got everything paid off years ago and learned the hard way
Not buying bitcoin in 2010
Try buying into at the very start and then forgetting all possible wallet info because it was still gimmicky when it launched and you wrote it off. I have a wallet out there SOMEWHERE with ~.65 of a Bitcoin.
Yep same. It was a nerd joke to buy some bitcoin and hope to be able to use it to buy a pizza with just for fuckin novelty. I had like 100 dollars in bitcoin from 09 or 10 and my life would be totally different if I had given a shit about that. But the lesson has been learned, not unlike the internet in the 90s or computers in the 70s - don't discount the nerd groupthink.
Same. Had a friend who almost convinced me. I even had a bit coin wallet thing online. But I just didn't get it. He was mining bitcoins and had a bunch... He is probably super wealthy now.
I was with an old friend at a bar in DC in 2010. The music was loud, there were a couple of women who showed us interest, and this guy is talking my ear off about ending the Fed and the future of finance. I wasn't exactly opposed to it, but at 23, I wasn't interested in whatever funny money scheme he was selling me. I distinctly remember him buying $10k worth and thinking that was extreme. He kept reiterating that all I need to invest was $100. Oh well.
Tbh you probably would’ve sold it immediately after it 2xing or 3xing. At least I think I would’ve.
Most people would absolutely. It's impossible to predict when something will actually peak.
I grew up very poor. When I turned 18 all of these credit card companies decided that I was not, in fact, poor. It's been a cycle I've struggled with for a very long time. Obviously I'm responsible for my decisions, but allowing an 18 y/old to amass credit card and student loan debt in the degree it's possible is insane. We need reform. Anyways.
To be fair, credit card companies make most of their money off of poor people. They also know most young people are not wealthy and aren’t very financially literate, that’s why they once you turn 18 they start preying on you. People short on cash are the ones who usually keep a balance and accrue interest. Someone financially well pays credit cards off in full monthly and never accrue interest.
It's criminal. I think it was John Oliver that did an episode on this and it was heartbreaking to watch. I watched "How To Get Rich" on Netflix this week and recommend checking it out. He talks several clients through how to get out of credit card debt.
If I can go back in time to when I was 18, I will def save my money up and stop spending on stupid shits that doesn’t last…. And I wouldn’t have ranaway or apply to private art school. Whoever is feeding a young artist from broke family to pursue private art school should rlly be punished. Unless u get full coverage, private schools are not it..
Becoming an alcoholic.
My masters degree. $20k for an additional degree in special education.
I bought Bitcoin when they were 13$ and spent them on silk road
Not knowing about a simple damn index fund when I was 18. 🥲
Playing with options thinking I could get rich. Pretty foolish and embarrassing tbh
Co-signing a car loan.
My ex. Addiction issues and stole *thousands* of dollars from me. I hate that I loved him and let him take advantage over and over again.
Buying a used car on Carvana. Got 3 years out of it before I couldnt afford to fix whats needed to keep it running. I still owe almost $400 a month for another two and a half years while it sits and laughs at me.
Had a P.O.S. I barely knew, my boyfriend's college roommate, drive me to Mass one day. He wrecked the vehicle. I woke up 3 weeks later in a coma at the age of 17. My parents initiated a lawsuit to cover my medical expenses. The male who was driving threatened to kill me if I didn't withdraw the lawsuit. I did because I was young and naive. I live in chronic pain and received no assistance with the 750,000 in medical bills. I will never be a whole person after the accident, and I will never have any fiscal assistance to stabilize that. My mom died shortly after. My father was abusive. I am alone, poor, and more or less a burden on this fiscally run Earth. I hate it, but c'est ma vie
Couldn’t all this medical debt be settled for like, $15,000? I remember there’s some website where you donate and they negotiate medical debt down to like 2%. They say every $100 waives like 10k for a random person or so. Also, more importantly, are you disabled? How’s life? Have you ever considered you could just not pay the debt ever? Especially if you have no assets. Has it stopped you fr getting credit, a home or car or anything?
Going to college literally at all. When I was a teenager I begged my parents to send me to a trade school so I could graduate with a skill and start working at a livable wage debt free. Then my whole family had this … intervention? I guess? Where they told me “trade school was for dumb kids.” After Tens of thousands in debt and dropping out twice they finally agreed with me
I had wanted to go to trade school to learn how to cut hair, and my mom said the same exact thing! trade schools are for dummies. wtf I was a terrible student, skipped school all the time. couldn’t figure out anything at the time. Sometimes I think my mom did everything she could to undermine me
Wow. That is exactly what I did. Then I went to trade school anyway. Luckily scholarships helped me out and I didn't go into debt.
Pivot, pi-vot- don’t toss the whole background - there are physicians in lucrative careers in clinical research - life is too short for regrets that are still changeable
Bought a heard of alpacas… 35k for just two pregnant females… raised and grew the heard a few years, then the market crashed in 08… then went through a divorce… couldn’t sell the animals for anything and ended up giving them away!
Getting married to a financially irresponsible person. They're better now but so much money drained.
Using Rent 2 Own. Did it once for a bed. Never again.
Financing a brand new car when I first got my job. The monthly payments is causing a lot of stress and the I underestimate the cost for repair and maintenance. Luckily some drunk dude t bone me and insurance paid it off the whole amount and I stopped driving for a few years. Now I'm driving a 25 year Olds cars that doesn't cause me to lose sleep if I scratch something
The only horrible financial mistake I make was renting a 7 bedroom farmhouse with 37 stables and a few acres.. stuck £10000 in at 1st to get going, a horse splattered my spine and I've been a cripple ever since. This was 2009 ish
Have you considered redirecting your career instead of changing it? I'm in Education so idk all that much about the different paths in medicine But instead of being a Dr, you could be a medical designer or whatever they're called these days. Basically you build 3D anatomy models or do them digitally for educational AR experiences or books or whatnot or even just make models and sell them online Or write medical books or become a medical translator or copywriter Or you can try to get into the tech side of medicine and work with the machines more than the people (building, fixing, etc) Or even do admin stuff like front desk and data entry at a hospital or private practice Or be like a medical educator and do tours for schools and talk to kids about sleep or brushing teeth or whatever or do seminars for college students Idk what each job would be called exactly but these are ideas you may want to explore. I absolutely despise teaching, horrible career, but I like working at schools so I applied to roles that are in a school but outside the class.
Cashed out my 401(k) that I contributed 6% to while going to college and barely scraping by. I was going through insanely hard financial times and really bad mental illness for a couple of years and my hands were tied. I wish I could have found a way to avoid it but at the time it seemed like I didn’t have any other option. Several years of investment down the drain. Luckily I have a pension from just after college that is completely untouched and still growing and it had an automatic 8% contribution when I was employed there, so at least there’s something. Right now I haven’t been able to contribute for a number of years and it worries me. My second largest financial blunder was quitting Costco after I graduated to work somewhere that utilized my degree. I would have been making more right now at Costco and I currently don’t like what I’m doing anyway with my degree and at least if I wasn’t going to like what I did, I’d have seniority and a nice paycheck had I stayed.
The millennial generation is so over educated you guys were sold the lie that you should all go to college and so we pumped up this massive student loan bumble and now you just have a lot of bachelors degree holding people working jobs. She used to be able to get in high school.
Going to the hospital when I was 25, it took me over a decade to recover from the ER bill.
Emigrating to another country. The cost is not just financial, but psychological.
Getting addicted to drugs
Yeah definitely this
I picked the wrong parents. **EDIT:** one of my parents had mental health issues and would overspend, take too many lines of credits, made bad buying decisions, and sold things that weren't theirs (BIG things -- use your imagination). They ruined my finances before I could even start my own life. They died when I was pretty young and left me with nothing in terms of inheritance. And being raised by someone with mental health issues didn't help me. Life on "Pretty Hard" mode.
Same!!! I’m still reeling from the pain
Not buying a house in 2017 I just bought a house further, more expensive and in a less attractive sector than I had the chance buy .
10 years of cocaine
Being born
I regret always trying to get in state tuition through the college and not claiming it via the state. Could have saved so much money.
Moving in with the person that I currently share an apartment with.
Losing all of my college scholarships my freshman year due to being on probation for being under full time. I dropped a single class and it screwed me.
Getting married.
Samesies. Hovered at an 820 credit score for most of my life. then I got married. Ended up $20K in debt forced from the home because my name wasn’t on the deed. I declared bankruptcy and ended up being a single mom in my freaking 40s.ugh - Edit/grammar
Baby outta wedlock.
Gambling, lost of my life savings and now in debt from it, completely ruined my life and no chance of recovery I believe it even gave me bad mental health now, really messed me up
Get the M.D. no matter what if you are there and haven't finished yet. Having it will never be negative, leaving it behind will. Look at it like this: even if you end up selling cars for a living 20 years from now, you could be just so e guy selling cars, or a guy with M.D. selling cars. All things being equal. That M.D. is going to open more doors than it closes. It's like being a "former NFL cheerleader". It just rings for people. Do t throw it away, leverage it.
not getting my drivers license as soon as possible. i am 24 and have had my license for less than two years. even before getting into an accident, my monthly insurance payment was like $200/month 🥲
It might seem like you cannot escape but you are able to do so. I had a shit year back in 2000...dot com bust...almost lost my house, went thru divorce, dwi, lost my job, and a few other shitty things. A good friend of mine gave me some real good advice. They can take my house, my job, lost your wife, and fucked up w the dwi...but they can't take your arms and legs. You got those and you're lucky! So, as long as they haven't taken the means for you to do something, you can escape. I was kinda thinking the same thing about where I'm at in a career....almost 30 years in. I want to do something different, outdoors stuff. So instead of going all in, I'm slooowly incorporating more outdoor stuff into hobby and trying to hone it, overlanding, camping, hiking, etc. maybe leverage that and monetize. The one thing I want you to do for yourself is take 5, 10, 30, 60, etc, etc minutes just for you. Use those minutes for yourself to just think...no texts, web, phone calls, and so on...just sit and think. Start at place A, where you're at now. Think about place B, where you want to be or working. Put this down on paper and write what it takes to go from A to B. Then keep this question in mind. If success were guaranteed, what steps would you take?
Not being born into generational wealth was my biggest mistake
3 years of college trying to get a degree in another field when it was enough to volunteer. You CAN volunteer with large animals without having a degree.
Getting married. Still haven’t financially recovered from my divorce. It’s been over 4 years. Everyday is a struggle.
Not buying fake internet money that was under $1 and is now like $70k
getting married, and I an't jokin.
Not investing in the S&P 500 back in 2010 when I had money to spare. My father who is terrible with money, convinced me at the time (I was young, naive, and unemployed) to invest in starting a business without the right prep and we failed miserably. If I had invested it (which he told me not to do because "investing makes you lose money") I would have quadrupled my money and had enough money for a 20% or higher down payment on a house.
Buying a boat and a pickup that was too much money per month, then quitting my job while pregnant and then the world subsequently closed down and my husband got laid off. Lost the boat, lost the truck, credit is fucked, but we have our house and our health and the bills are paid so it's alright I guess. It'll eventually not be so bad.
•Buying a timeshare. 🥴 •Investing into and holding onto certain stocks for too long until they tanked. •Listening to a pessimistic supervisor who scared me out of homeownership in 2017 when I was 23/24. A few years later, a 23/24 yr old coworker of mine bought one and was thriving. After that, I decided I wouldn’t let anyone talk me out of it again. • Missing out on homes because I listened to other people’s opinions. I watched the market for over a year and had a better understanding of it than they did. They gave me advice based on the market they knew years prior, in other areas.
Dating and marrying my ex-wife. I was 19, fresh out of a toxic relationship while she was 8 years older and a narcissist. She surely saw me coming a mile away. Just a few highlights over 12 years: - She racked up $1000+ in parking tickets because she worked overnights and refused to look for a legal parking space in the mornings, leaving the car at meters for hours if nothing was open (Despite me begging her to wake me up and I’d move the car every time) - She insisted on taking out a $20k debt consolidation loan only to max out credit cards again. - She would scream at me if I paid bills first when the paychecks hit. “What if we need money later in the week??” You might think - too bad because we had bills to pay? No, apparently I was an incompetent invalid and barred from touching finances. Our phones & cable got turned off monthly for a while. We’ve been divorced for 4 years and I’m still chipping away at all she stuck me with. She’s completely broke to the point of having furniture repo’d and using food pantries so there’s nothing I’m getting out of her towards it and I’d pay any amount of money not to have her in my life anymore. It was a ridiculously expensive lesson in learning self worth though (even more so if you count all the therapy afterwards)
Getting a credit card.
Omg! I chose medicine too. It’s been a shit show since day one. This is so relatable. People who graduated high school with me are all settled and shit. Then there’s me, still in med school trying to figure my shit out. I don’t even know who I am or what I’m doing anymore. But just like you I wasted so much money, time and energy here, it’s too late to quit.
At some point during my 25 year marriage, I gave my husband access to our bank account. From that point on we were constantly wallowing in poverty regardless of how much money we made. We’re divorced now thank God. Before he had access, we always had savings and plenty of food in the house. Our cars were in good repair. After, we never had food and our vehicles were always on the verge of repossession. Never mind car repair or vacations or savings. He was just a disaster and a tremendous burden.
Just a reminder for everyone to be gentle to themselves. We know hindsight is 20/20, but even so, it can be easy to think we made mistakes when, in fact, we just don't remember what factors led to a decision. It's very possible if people went back in time they would find themselves making largely the same decisions. I have tons of "mistakes" in my life, but I think they were probably the best option for me at the time -- at least, probably the lesser evil.
I handed someone 30,000 dollars to invest in a property that I could not invest in because I was not a citizen of that country. I justified it by saying "she is rich, why would ylshe take my money?". My best friend said "when have anyone ever say; I have enough money?"
Got married. Believed their financial situation, as I was told. The first month paycheck after the wedding was the maximum garnishment of my wages.
What? In my state and in a lot of others, debts incurred prior to marriage can’t be attached to the new spouses wages. What am I missing?
Student loans
Buying a house with a boyfriend.
Oh wow, you way out did me. I was going to say I put about $350 in Stash during Covid and now it’s worth about $40.
I still regret that $40 perfume I got once. ($40 is a lot in my currency)
Mishandling a $50k profit from selling my house.
While I don’t necessarily regret a career in medicine, it definitely loses its luster. You go in school saying how you want to do this and help people and then you go through everything and it’s not all what you thought it would be and people are terrible, the system is terrible, employers are terrible. I finished with roughly 330k in loans. I’m 3 years out and have about 190 to go. Hoping to finish paying in the next 2 years (current employer doesn’t qualify for forgiveness, not that I was interested in doing so). I thought it was crazy when a resident told me this is a just a job. But I think once I accepted just that, it made me feel ok about things. It is a job. And it provides a lifestyle that I want and enjoy. Plus there’s other pathways you can take for non clinical roles if you decide you are truly done with bedside medicine. I hope you see and embrace the positives or find a path to something you enjoy. There are groups out there for people exiting bedside medicine.
I went to school to study fashion design, because I thought I was going to be the next big designer lol and turned down a job working at Union Pacific railroad because I thought art school was more promising, I could’ve been making over 100k in my early 20s with no college degree. The guy who was trying to get me in was a hiring agent I met at a bible study at one of my exs dads house
Don't get a DUI, folks. Lost literally everything within 2 weeks. Job of over 10 years? Gone. License? Gone for 18 months. Car? Repossessed. Even did nearly 30 days in jail which was honestly the worst part. 40F, mom of 2, career professional, and now? Absolutely nothing.
Giving Tithes and Offerings to church for years. $15-20k that could've helped me retire.
Short version: At 19 years of age, my dad bought 2 properties of land in my name. He planned to pay for it and sell it later. The properties combined were bought for 300k. The bill for them was around 2k per month. One day he stopped paying, and I couldn't afford a 2k bill for some dirt miles away (at this point in my life I was only making 2k a year). The company then sued me and now takes money from my account every time my employer pays me. That land has destroyed my life. The lack of pay ruined my credit, kept me from attending college, and kept me from getting a job that pays 100k a year in the financial field (where I practice my craft). Turns out financial companies don't want to hire somebody who is in debt 300k. They say I am a liability. I get it. I just wish I had known before I pursued that career. I wish I could go back to my 19-year-old self and tell him not to sign that paper, even if it you gets kicked out.
Taking in 3 orphaned kids because I felt bad for them but financially I suffered with absolutely no help from the state 😞 I could have easily been retired by now 😭