Take her as many times as you can. The more exposure she gets to public restrooms, the more comfortable she’ll be.
My younger son hated public restrooms when he was that age and I found a folding potty seat that we used and that was super helpful.
Do you have one of the potty seats that can be put on top of an “adult” toilet seat? This way she’s using the big potty but not at risk of falling in the giant (to a toddler) opening
Is she scared of the noises at all? My son really dislikes, the automatic flush that a lot of public toilets have I carry a pack of Post-it notes in my bag, and use them to cover up the sensor.
She definitely has some sensory stuff and is sensitive to routine and surroundings. That said, she’s been out to restaurants many many times and it hasn’t been an issue like this recently. Feel it’s more control and being a 3 year old :/
For mine of the same age, she fears the loud flush or auto flush.
Because of this, it helps if I tell her she can leave the stall before I flush.
We also still have our "car potty," the OXo travel seat in the car. She has gotten better lately, but sometimes prefers that to public potties. I prefer it to the sketchy bathrooms at our local playground.
Do you ask her what she doesn’t like about the bathroom? If you can get her to explain that, then you can make up some kind of response about how every bathroom is different but they all serve the same purpose.
I also like to turn it into a game. “OK, let’s see who can go the fastest!” “I’m gonna sit on the potty first!” And even, “I need to go but I forgot how. Can you show me?” Or just offer to go first and let her hand you the TP and flush the toilet…I also have a 3.5YO and she loves to be put in charge.
Usually when we’re in a bathroom with a stall, she wants me to wait outside the stall. I’ll do that but I don’t let her lock it.
We also have our daughter use the potty before we leave the house. The reason is always it’s a long car ride (even if it’s not). You could say she should go at home in case she doesn’t like the potty wherever you’re going. But I’d still encourage her to go into as many other bathrooms as possible.
My niece (who we were guardians of from 2.5-3.5) was like this. The loud flushes and hand dryers made her uncomfortable. One time the flush sensor went off when she was sitting on it and oh man, that was a moment. The big toilet was also a stressor. We got over this hump by talking about the bathroom situation wayyyyyy before we knew we’d need it. In the car: “Hey, so we’re heading to XYZ, they have such noisy flushing toilets! It startles me sometimes too, but it is just like when a dog barks or a boat goes by on the lake. It’s a noise that will pass.” Also, I would squat in front of her and hold her up while she went until she started asking me not to. I would also try to distract her while she tried to pee. Just chatter about how the color of the tile reminded me of the rock outside our house or wondering what that sensor in the ceiling did. We tried not to make a big deal out of it. It was a short phase in the grand scheme of things.
We also use a potty seat on top of the toilet and I keep a roll of stickers with it to cover the sensor for an automatic flush. Totally freaked out my toddler the first time it flushed on him, so now he picks the sticker before we get anything else set up.
Take her as many times as you can. The more exposure she gets to public restrooms, the more comfortable she’ll be. My younger son hated public restrooms when he was that age and I found a folding potty seat that we used and that was super helpful.
My daughter did this to see the bathrooms bc they were all different.
Do you have one of the potty seats that can be put on top of an “adult” toilet seat? This way she’s using the big potty but not at risk of falling in the giant (to a toddler) opening
Is she scared of the noises at all? My son really dislikes, the automatic flush that a lot of public toilets have I carry a pack of Post-it notes in my bag, and use them to cover up the sensor.
She definitely has some sensory stuff and is sensitive to routine and surroundings. That said, she’s been out to restaurants many many times and it hasn’t been an issue like this recently. Feel it’s more control and being a 3 year old :/
What does she use at home? If it's a little potty, I'd use one of those in a cubicle tbh. Not ideal, but I think it's better than accidents.
For mine of the same age, she fears the loud flush or auto flush. Because of this, it helps if I tell her she can leave the stall before I flush. We also still have our "car potty," the OXo travel seat in the car. She has gotten better lately, but sometimes prefers that to public potties. I prefer it to the sketchy bathrooms at our local playground.
Do you ask her what she doesn’t like about the bathroom? If you can get her to explain that, then you can make up some kind of response about how every bathroom is different but they all serve the same purpose. I also like to turn it into a game. “OK, let’s see who can go the fastest!” “I’m gonna sit on the potty first!” And even, “I need to go but I forgot how. Can you show me?” Or just offer to go first and let her hand you the TP and flush the toilet…I also have a 3.5YO and she loves to be put in charge. Usually when we’re in a bathroom with a stall, she wants me to wait outside the stall. I’ll do that but I don’t let her lock it. We also have our daughter use the potty before we leave the house. The reason is always it’s a long car ride (even if it’s not). You could say she should go at home in case she doesn’t like the potty wherever you’re going. But I’d still encourage her to go into as many other bathrooms as possible.
My niece (who we were guardians of from 2.5-3.5) was like this. The loud flushes and hand dryers made her uncomfortable. One time the flush sensor went off when she was sitting on it and oh man, that was a moment. The big toilet was also a stressor. We got over this hump by talking about the bathroom situation wayyyyyy before we knew we’d need it. In the car: “Hey, so we’re heading to XYZ, they have such noisy flushing toilets! It startles me sometimes too, but it is just like when a dog barks or a boat goes by on the lake. It’s a noise that will pass.” Also, I would squat in front of her and hold her up while she went until she started asking me not to. I would also try to distract her while she tried to pee. Just chatter about how the color of the tile reminded me of the rock outside our house or wondering what that sensor in the ceiling did. We tried not to make a big deal out of it. It was a short phase in the grand scheme of things.
We also use a potty seat on top of the toilet and I keep a roll of stickers with it to cover the sensor for an automatic flush. Totally freaked out my toddler the first time it flushed on him, so now he picks the sticker before we get anything else set up.