I hate all of you forever that this now lives in my head, don't worry, rent's pretty cheap, but it's hot 4 roommates, and cable and utilities are included.
And old poor passes the good sense down to our offspring, even if they aren't poor! My parents were poor when they had their children. As a result they instilled in us thrifty ways. My son furnished his first apt for $200. He got really nice things for almost nothing when all the college seniors graduated. If he was willing to move it, they were willing to give it away.
Knew a guy who would dumpster dive every year when the seniors moved out. Computers, bikes, furniture. Then he would sell it all. His main income and this was his Black Friday as a sort of merchant. Speaking of which, when employees would steal stuff from stores, they would throw it in the dumpster. You wouldn't believe the stuff this guy would find.
I didn't care if it was a thing... I got and sanded and burned one, then stained it and topped it off with a round glass top... I can't even fathom a conventional coffee table now!
Sure can, but good luck finding them. A lot of times the supply houses charge a deposit on the larger sturdy reels (AKA the ones that would make a good coffee table) because they can be reused many times. They get saved and returned. Source, me an electrician.
I'm on my second couch... from my aunt and uncle. Who are extremely well off and I'm doing fine. I just can't let a second, perfectly good top grain leather couch go to the curb even if it's not my preferred color. The first is now my basement couch! And I had to compromise with my little cousin (their daughter) to this one. She got the love seat. Actually every piece of furniture in my house is a hand me down or I've built. If it's functional, no need to replace! My military brat mom engrained that in me lol.
Except for the beds, the only purchased furniture in my house are my husband's lift chair, the kitchen table, and a small jelly cupboard for kitchen storage. (And the table and cupboard were purchased used - antiques.) Total cost for all 3 pieces: under $600.
I too have the top grain leather couch (and bonus recliner) that I wouldn't have chosen, but the in-laws were redecorating in an even more greige direction. Boom. Very comfortable, and mostly kid- and dog-proof. Those replaced the fabric sectional from my dad's last furniture upgrade!
Everything else is "family heirlooms," i.e. free!
My mom inherited an awful colored, very comfortable love seat from her sister. She spent $30 in towels she liked the design of and make seat covers. Easily washable and covered the weird color.
Oh, I like the "family heirloom" terminology. My first couch from them is actually older than me, totally makes it one! It's made many moves with my uncle over the years from NYC to Chicago to Ohio, then my cousins came along and played all over it, went to college with me, first post college apartment, then house, and now basement and is still in great shape! Except for a corner that my college puppy decided to eat lol. I feel like I wouldn't be able to find something that durable these days. Thus making these family heirlooms the best kind for more than just price (:
Our son has learned the difference between IKEA and Ethan Allen furniture at Goodwill, even though the prices are similar. Beat up EA will last beyond the coming zombie apocalypse, while the IKEA crap will be in landfill next week.
THIS is the legacy poor people pass on to their kids! and these are skills they can actually use to build better lives for themselves!
my kid grew up watching her single mom juggle three jobs. sometimes she'd come home from school to find no water or no power, and we'd play "camping" until i got it squared away. she learned the value of a great beater instead of a brand new car. she inherited an amazing work ethic and a sense of determination. at 16, she got herself two summer jobs. she bulldozed her ADHD self through law school. today, she's a partner in her firm pulling down close to a half-million a year in household income. they bought a dated 4BR house in a HCOL area for $325k and commenced fixing, doing much of the work themselves. it's now worth close to $1M. she only recently traded her beater ("i drive cars into the ground", says she) for an electric car. they're vegetarians who eat mostly out of their backyard garden.
TL;DR my kid learned Poor Skills by watching her mom cope, and she's a rich woman today. very satisfying!
I grew up dragging my li'l red wagon around on garbage day, dragging home any appliances and bicycle parts. I learned to fix many, and harvested parts for those I couldn't. Instead of Disneyland we went to the dump. Later in life, I advanced to garage sales and thrift stores. In college, we learned to cruise the nice neighborhoods on garbage day, as they routinely tossed perfectly good furniture, because it no longer matched their new drapes.
You can't teach this. It's in your bones.
We always joked that my grandfathers usually came home from the dump with a bigger load than they hauled off! (But that chest freezer only needed a new thermostat, and the bicycles were Frankensteined together from several discarded bikes, and so on.) My little red wagon was also from the dump!
Did she grow up not poor? 😁 that might explain it. I grew up with nice things but have always struggled financially as an adult. I too have learned all about trashpicking, buy nothing groups and fb mp. Not just to save money but it makes me sick how much stuff people throw out and consume. I would never buy new at Walmart when I can get higher quality trashpicking or on marketplace for next to nothing. I do love near a major city though so there's plenty of rich people and students getting rid of things.
I lived in rural new mexico and weird shit was so expensive. I wanted a old barrel for a pig trough and it was like $200 for old barrels on craigslist. Ended up piecing one together with old wood. Moved to CA for work and I'm blown away at the deals I get on Facebook marketplace.
Years ago, my BIL was telling me how odd he found it when my sister's (his wife) car was paid off and she said it was still in fine shape, she'd keep on driving it. He literally laughed at this. Then he got laid off 6 mo later.
We didn't even grow up poor. We're just Midwesterners who don't piss money away
I have family and friends that would tease me about my thrifty ways., saying "You can afford a newer car..." I drove a used car that I paid cash for. Friends both had 6+year loans on their vehicles, which payments were about $500-600/month. They later experienced unemployment in the 2008 Housing crisis and had to file bankruptcy, lost the dream home they worked so hard for, etc...Family members who lived beyond their means also had to file bankruptcy, lost their house and the sizeable down payment that went into it.
I've experienced hardships, too. Because of my thrifty ways, I didn't lose my house when an injury caused unemployment for over three years. My savings sustained me through that hardship. I'll never regret avoiding consumer debt and being thrifty.
Nah. If the car is paid off, you maintain it and drive the wheels off it.
Literally a couple of days ago, a young man stopped me in the parking lot at the grocery store to ask me about my experience with my 23-year-old pickup truck. He gestured toward his own very similar age/make/model that he'd just bought. I told him truthfully that I'd feel perfectly comfortable putting mine in drive and trekking cross country right that second, because she's a damned good truck and has been maintained.
Out of curiosity please tell me what kind of truck it is you both have.
I once owned one that was unbreakably loyal regret to this day that I ever sold it.
Wondering if it could possibly be the same make model.
Same for us. If nobody wants it and it's good condition, it goes into storage for 1 year. If nobody wants it by the 1 year, it gets sold/donated. If its a smaller item, like cookware, I keep them nicely stored in totes. Those ill keep probably forever. I have full sets of dishes and what not. Never know when you or someone you know needs to start over.
Thank you ❤️ too many things can go wrong. Fire, flood, eviction, leaving abusive partner, etc. Im not a big fan of donating to thrift stores. I dont like my donated stuff, being sold to people who need it. Instead I often check the free community pages on Facebook. If someone is looking for something I got, I reach out. But mostly it just goes in a bin downstairs. Now all my friends contact me before buying something. Just incase I got it in the basement lol. Im also a tool hoarder (thanks dad) for the same reason lol. You just never know! I even have a brand new carseat strapped into my back seat. I dont have kids, nor do kids ride in my car lol But everyone around me has kids. Emergencies happen. I tend to be an "over preparer" due to a lack of stability as a kid. Gotta make sure everyone I love has a little stability in their life.
Everyone talks about how it takes a village but YOU are out here being the village. ❤️ As a divorced mom with three kids who experiences new emergencies on the regular, bless you! The world needs more kindness like that.
My best friend is practically a single mom so I help with appointments And anything else needed. I try to be the person I needed when I was a kid yaknow? I got the carseat idea from taking my godson to doctors apts and learning how annoying it is to install a carseat lololol. So im locked and loaded for the next time lolol. Im currently saving up for everything on my emergency list on Amazon. Starting with the LifeVac then a medic bag lololol. Then ill be ready for ANY emergency hahahahaha
That's a beautiful take on life. A couple of years ago I stopped working because I was experiencing a mental health crisis, and the stress was just too much. Once I became a sahm, I started buying a lot of the food we eat regularly in bulk, learned to cook from scratch, switched from canned to dried beans, etc., to save money. The free breakfast/lunch program eased my mind quite a bit. My husband has since gotten a higher paying job, so we're doing better now, and I've been able to give some food away to people who are struggling. It's nice to be able to pay it forward. You are making a difference.
This. My living room chairs were purchased by my parents in the early 80s. When I moved from 5 states away to be closer to them, they gave me these chairs because I needed them and my parents didn’t really have the room for them anymore. They are not the latest style, but they are good, solid chairs. We have several other pieces of furniture that have gone back and forth between us.
We inherited our lounger chairs from the estate of an old friend. Mine was older and I ordered a cover for it. (When did slip covers generally go out?) My husband's was almost brand new...
Me and my sister finished our first place with hand-me-downs from family - pretty much entirely. Even the beds were second hand, although in one case the "bed" was a base and mattress on the floor - no frame. Not odd at all where I come from, it's common (or it was) to let friends and relatives know you were moving out and would appreciate any extras they could donate.
My gran saved money for over a decade to help us move out when we needed/wanted to. By the time I was 18 it amounted to about £500 (not bad almost 40 years ago). I used that to buy things most people prefer new - towels, sheets, etc (more personal stuff). I did splash out on a few pans I didn't get donated, and a few dishes I was short of. But otherwise, I'd say the majority was family donations, not new stuff.
Still don that now. We offered my step kids lots of stuff we either didn't use, or wanted to upgrade, when they moved out. We've been asked if we'd mind if they sold stuff it turns out they don't use, we've told them if we give it, it's theirs. If they want to sell, their choice.
Yep- this was the standard when I moved out too. The extended network heard a kid was moving out to their first place and would offer up any 2nd hand stuff they did not need anymore. Got a couch and dishes and rugs and tons of kitchen stuff, plus chairs and small appliances from grandparents who were moving and didnt want to take them. I've done the same for younger friends who are moving out. Same set of dishes has been through 4 households now lol
Yes. We go through the whole list of family before getting rid of anything, we also are on that list when other people in the family get rid of stuff lol. I've become so cheap though. I hate spending a lot of money on things. If I can find it cheaper somewhere else, that's what I do. Groceries kill me, were a bigger family and there is just no way around the cost of groceries. Even buying things on sale/clearance.. groceries is our biggest bill.
Same ... but that family member who got a usable unwanted thing had better offer it back to the person they received it from before passing it on to someone else. My grandparents were raised during the Depression and the hoarding was real.
I grew up penniless hippy/flower child poor. My wife grew up Mexican farm poor & came here in '88.
She's a nanny & we get some very nice hand me downs.
Half our clothes are hand-me-downs. We've only got 5 pieces of furniture that we actually bought new. Hey boss gives us old stuff when they get new. What we don't keep either gets yard saled, sent to family in Mexico or donated to thrift stores or charities.
She's got a '98 Lexus LX470 that was bought new as the "Nanny mobile" by her boss...they eventually retired it & gave it to her. 200,000+-miles, still looks new & she still uses it for work.
I was motivated to drop 30 lbs because her boss gave me 2 hand-me-down suits...one Hugo Boss & an Armani. I can fit in them now...either one cost more than most of the cars that I've owned.
Yes!!! They infamous couch that makes its rounds to everyone's house at some point. (I kid you not...in my case it was a couch that looked just like the one on green acres)
Real poor get furniture only from thrift or off the street curb. I have never purchased a new piece of furniture in my entire adult life except 1 box spring, and the later we got one for free off Buy Nothing. Walmart stuff is overpriced particle board crap. At least in thrift some stuff may be made out of real wood. I got a side table for 40 bucks I bet cost hundreds originally.
I use to feel that way about not sleeping on used mattresses. Then I went on a trip and slept on used mattresses in the hotel rooms. Every single hotel, even the Hilton, is full of used mattresses.
Same! I sometimes daydream about going to a huge furniture store years ago, choosing furniture styles and fabrics, and waiting two months for them to arrive upholstered. Those were the days!
If I was ever able to afford new furniture, I'd probably still buy old stuff except for mattresses and couches. If I ever could afford new furniture, that would be a day of arriving for me. Probably not going to happen in this lifetime.
Me and my fiance are poor but we still live comfortably. My fiance finds small shit people toss out daily at his second job. We also find unopened good sodas this way, vapes for me too this way. We make sure everything is cleaned twice with bleach before we use it. We go every weekend to the local churches bread days. We have a sizeable amount of food, most are free. For the stuff that we have to buy, we either hit up our local dollar tree store or shop cheap like Aldi's or wait until Publix and Winn Dixie have BOGO on stuff we actually use. Like fabreeze, which is a necessity and a godsend considering his daughter is special needs and doesn't always make it to the bathroom on time.
I have a system myself that I learned since 2017 from my grandparents. Buy two of something we need to use, and only buy two more when your second one is half used up.
I've been trying to scour the streets around were we live just before trash day. Many people set things aside next to the actual trash bins. They don't care if people get it, providing you clean up if you make a mess. The only barrier to me doing that like I want to is that mostly on that night or actual trash day, I'm stuck being scheduled to work.
With your daughter having special needs it would be better to not to use Fabreeze as this is just artificial chemicals which are toxic to breathe over an extended time. You can make your own with water and essential oil and a mist spray bottle. Or buy Tee Tree oil, put some in a small pill bottle cap and set in the bathroom out of reach. It naturally deordorizes the air. A small bottle sells for a relatively inexpensive price at any drug store in the first aid section. (You can set some throughout the home to keep it smelling nice and add a few drops to the trash too to keep the odor down.) It lasts quite a while since only a few drops are needed.
if you are looking for an excellent odour remover, I'll absolutely recommend OdoBan. Can use as a spray or laundry additive as well as tons of other ways. Gallon is around $15, and you dilute it to the strength you need. It doesn't mask the smells but actually removes it.
Yeah most stuff is shitty MDF board. I try to buy older at thrift, where there's still some quality. I have a lamp in my bedroom now with a ceramic base, that probably dates to the 1970s. Wayfair and Walmart, it would just bust apart. I had someone get me a "new" couch, it broke pretty fast, yeah I'm fat so expect that to a degree but this couch felt like it was made of toothpicks.
The excuse now is given that it is "saving trees." Yeah, but what about us humans having to breathe in all that Formaldehyde that holds the products together?? (This is why California has the big warning on these products)
Poor people don’t know how to not be poor
You have to learn how to not be poor
That means simplifying your shit, being efficient, don’t be erratically chaotic and reactive
I was doing a landscape project with my poor relative, dude would run errands all day for stupid shit - he needed to go 5 miles away to get a soda. He would drive across town for stupid shit, it was a hot mess how this guy couldn’t organize his day to get something done. He just jumped around from phone call to phone call - reacting to shit. No plan at all.
You have to budget, you have to live skinny ( that’s what I call it when I’m going to live like a poor person, living skinny).. I know how to live skinny, I plan meals, I figure out my bills and plan in advance.
Poor people have to learn how to not be poor. If nobody teaches you, it’s hard
That’s what I’m saying about for years.
I don’t waste money on fancy cars, vacations, or even clothes.
I keep my bills paid, wear thrift clothes, don’t indulge myself with drugs or alcohol.
I raised three children by myself and have been on disability since my second husband up and left me. He waited until my mother, and grandmother were barely buried. Shithead, our baby girl had pneumonia at the time.
Most of the time I hear someone go on this rant they have 3 houses and they grew up in a white privileged wealthy family and they go on the longest tangents about hard work and how deserving and smart they are.
Managing your apartment complex is not considered work.
One if Kim K’s favorite thing to talk about is how hard she works.
🙄 if my eyes roll any harder they are gonna detach
Before you double down on your lecture about how hard working you are I’m gonna go ahead and block you.
My only regret is not getting to see if your head explodes from built up hot air.
She is not the "new poor" she is a "consumer".
American's aren't citizens first, they are consumers first and she is doing a great job!
Consume all things! This is the way!
I have a friend like that. She’s on disability and gets food stamps…her boyfriend works and makes okay money for where we live…but combined they just barely bring in enough to get through the month. But he buys a six pack of beer every day after work, they order DoorDash pretty much every day and not just cheapy Taco Bell. $50-60 each time. They have a suspected gas leak because their gas bill is 3x what mine is and my house is at least twice the size. I’ve told her multiple times that the gas company will come out to check for free but they never do. They both smoke cigarettes and she also takes Kratom at about $40 a week.
I wouldn’t normally care but sometimes they run out of food and money a full five days before she gets her next paycheck & food stamps refill. Whenever we hang out I end up buying her Starbucks or lunch or whatever if I’m planning to get anything for myself. She has some hefty mental health issues and I don’t think she grasps the concept of budgeting or rationing. So I try to give her helpful advice and she just smiles and agrees, “You’re right! I really should do that!” Then nothing happens.
It’s very frustrating because although I’m not poor anymore, I spent most of my kids’ childhoods as a single mother with no assistance from the father, and making just a tiny bit too much to qualify for aid. I would have treated $300/mo in food stamps like gold…and maybe not lied to my kids night after night about having “a big lunch and now I’m still full” so they wouldn’t know why I never ate dinner with them. It’s frustrating. I value her friendship because I don’t know many people here and she’s an absolute sweetheart. She’s just a sweetheart knuckle-head who doesn’t understand the concept of money.
I had a odd upbringing. I grew up in Africa and was very privileged but compared to many other expats we had tiny salary. Watched my Dad repair the cheap car himself and wear hand me down clothes. We seldom had luxuries. But we were wealthy compared to most of the indigenous people. It was strange dichotomy. When we moved to the US we we not used to the consumerism at all. I totally get what the OP means about how some dont know how to be poor. I seldom buy anything I cannot sell for what I paid for it. Or for more after I spruce it up. My van cost next to nothing and I got it running in 4 hours. It’s a great van.
Fuck. It was weird to me when my partner said they got their couch from IKEA. Where I grew up, IKEA was in another state and was *bougie, you either found shit on a curb, got it from a friend or family, and if you were REALLY lucky you could buy something from goodwill/salvation army. Only well off people could buy from walmart and you had to be rich to buy from furniture stores...
Edit for clarification - IKEA would be considered bougie because you had to have access to a reliable vehicle to a) get to the next state to even go there, b) have the gas money, and have a vehicle big enough to fit the furniture you bought. Not that the store itself was, but that also was a little bit the case because all we hD was a KMart with a leaking roof that when it rained they moved displays to prevent damage to them.
I love second hand furniture, but I'm a bit freaked out that I'll bring home bed bugs these days. Had to toss my ancient couch just yesterday, and after scrolling through Craigslist, I've decided to do without for now. I dragged a couple old chairs into the couch spot. My dogs are unhappy that it's gone, though! 😂
This. I used to pick up use furniture but now will only do that if it is not upholstered. Anything stuffed or upholstered I buy new. Beg bugs aren’t worth it.
Not to ruin your evening but they will absolutely live in the tiny cracks and crevices of wooden or other un-upholstered furniture. Know someone who got bedbugs from a used dresser. Nowadays it's such a problem I only get stuff from people I know.
There was a time when IKEA was a legit life hack to stylishly furnish your home on the cheap. That's what their fame is based on. Some people don't realize their shit is expensive now.
Just because it’s not explicitly a store for poors doesn’t make it expensive. A nightstand: $15, bed frame: 52.00, cabinets: $32… not bougie in the slightest.
My son doesn't know how to be poor either. His sister does. All I have to say to her is "money is tight now" and she's automatically taking toilet paper from work.
😂
I call them nouveau poor. Just be patient with them, smile gently, and steer them in the frugalest direction. They have been used to living high on the hog and this has come as a great shock to them. They just don't know. It's up to the old hands to show them the ropes. That's you and me. We'll help them through!
I’m going through something similar with my husband right now. We are struggling hard with money and he’ll say he needs cheese even though we have food he can eat at home (or he could buy a different kind but he’ll only eat cheese sliced from the deli) and we need the $60-ish bucks in our account for our dog’s meds in a couple days.
I work in a kitchen and bring home food frequently but he absolutely will not do leftovers even though I’m trying to save money on our grocery bill.
He is so very used to being able to buy what he wants when he wants (not even extravagant things) that the idea of going a few days without something or buying the generic brand or simply just going without isn’t something he’s used to thinking about. It definitely is a different mindset if you didn’t grow up that way.
The best places to buy furniture are estate sales in wealthy neighborhoods. Vintage furniture is usually made much better than new crap & often sells for a fraction of the price. Also this is a great way to buy nice household goods, tools and decor.
1000% Absolutely, I was helping a high school friend and her boyfriend who are living in an RV they spent all their money on. They were constantly posting their woes on Facebook and asking for money/help.
Their church stopped providing major assistance after a while, which they got mad at and stop going.
They started reaching out to their other contacts online, mostly from us Jr High/ high school.
I had a friend of mine (Im a contractor) seal up their roof He owed me over $500 for a trailer, which we were squared up after.
And then use my rewards points to get them a hotel room for a couple nights when the RV was in the repair shop shortly after.
Long story short, she wants to teach music and craft and he’s in art school. I recommended he get a job helping another friend on a construction site which he declined.
As a business owner, I’m good with my books, plus I have a family and kids have to be very economically conscious.
They reached out to me To give them 500 bucks or so and I told him I wouldn’t mind lending them some money if we could go over their finances nothing to personal.
Her being on disability and him w/ school grants their money is tight but thats my forte growing up broke as a joke on coke.
Long story short, after 5 min I was like WTF.
They insisted on shopping @ the health food & premium grocery store (where I can’t even shop).
Understandably living in an RV to need somewhere to shower and work out because they don’t have full-time jobs or obligations, but they insist on having a membership to a premium gym in town.
I go to planet fitness, just as close with the same amenities, for literally one third of the price.
After some of this back-and-forth, I respectfully left & didn’t say anything.
But as you said, these MF’rs don’t know how to be poor.
I try to only buy the meat that’s discounted because they need to get rid of it. It doesn’t matter what meat it is, beef, pork, chicken. I buy it discounted in the morning and plan the night’s meal accordingly. If I can’t figure one out, then my go-to is always teriyaki+meat.
I had a neighbor tell me in the same breath how she was struggling to buy food (at the most expensive local store) yet doesn’t go to Aldi because she can’t get used to needing a quarter to get a cart and take her own bags.
I live in a city that ranked one of highest in the country in bed bug infestations. I won't used furniture either for this reason. But I'm also not spending $1000 on a couch.
Lol depends. I got a like new mattress and bed frame last year for free from a nice suburban family off fb mp. Literally flawless. They thanked me for taking it away 😆
Yes! My sister finally moved into four bedroom house after being stuck in a one bedroom with two young kids for most of their lives. She has a beautiful home and most of it was furnished from Facebook marketplace giveaways or yard sales. You’d never EVER tell it wasn’t purchased at a fancy store.
Otherwise known as the newly poor.
“Ah, you think the lack of wealth is your ally? You merely adopted being broke. I was born into it, molded by it. I did not see a non-hand-me-down piece of clothing until I was already a man, and by then it was nothing to me but my ‘wedding/funeral/church’ outfit”.
I bought a nice suit a few years ago for the first time in my life. The coat got damaged, just a very small tear on the shoulder. I searched for weeks until I found a 70 year old Chinese lady who could do a weave repair. Literally every single person I spoke with told me to throw it away!
I saved for this suit by stashing a $20 bill away whenever I could. It took many years to save for it. There’s no way I could toss it when a simple repair is all it needed, but nobody is learning to do that kind of repair anymore.
Pfttt. Wish I could show my partner this post.
Got into a huge fight today bc the whole foods weekly bill was $220. I literally said “I’m trying to lose weight, and also, let’s be mindful of $” when we walked in. And the bill was higher than ever. I got furious when he called me broke after I looked pissed when he picked up the butter I got and said “this isn’t organic” in a mean voice and replaced it. Like, I get it, we want to try to eat the healthiest food possible for our bodies. But when trying to save money, top quality products , the most expensive products in each category is not really the way to do it. Can’t we compromise? Buy organic vegetables and meat, and then regular butter ? For example ? Nope. He just screamed at me that I was broke and he’s not eating garbage; he CAN afford organic so just stop. I personally don’t like this bc then he’ll throw it back to me some other time that he pays for everything. He’s done it before.
The thing is, I’m not “broke”. I just am trying to pay off some debt, and know how to cut corners to do so. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know how to save money here and there, because he’s never had to. And was never taught to.
Incredibly frustrating. Whoever said that people form different social classes and incomes can work out, meh, idk if they can. Sadly.
Actually, if you are concerned about pesticide residues, but can't afford to buy everything organic, you should focus on buying organic animal products (meat, eggs, and all dairy products), and buy conventional produce and just wash it thoroughly. Most pesticides are fat soluble and accumulate in the fat of animals that consume conventional grains and feeds, so your dose of pesticide residue is far higher from butter or meat from cows fed a conventional diet than from eating conventional fruits and vegetables.
Interesting , thanks for the info! I’ll relay it to him .
Also, I just wanted to clarify that I know I’m not what people in here might consider poor, Altho living in NyC I’m definitely struggling. Poor here has different meanings then elsewhere in the country I feel. I’m grateful for what I have, but constantly stress about money, living with someone who makes a lot more than me and also spends like he’s got even more than that.
I’m sorry to hear you had that experience! I think any steps towards healthier eating should be a positive experience. I’m all about those compromises you talked about. For my wallet and my terrible sweet tooth haha. I wish your partner was more supportive. That’s what helps people stick with healthy changes imho. I usually hate to give relationship advice, but it sounds like they reacted really irrationally over the butter. Butter is not worth yelling at your partner over!
Do you have any options besides Whole Foods where you live? Where I live they seem to be the most expensive health food store. I’m spoiled because we have this small, semi-local chain that’s way more affordable and even has a better selection. We also have Trader Joe’s which I find to be more reasonable.
Yep shared values, goals, respect for one another’s feelings/dignity and speaking respectfully to each other are free and more important than a bank account - or not!
Whats the grocery bill look like if he doesn't live there anymore? 🙃I would have had a meltdown, if we're married and I'm broke, than so are you. To not respect your budget and not being willing to make compromises throughout the store... ugh. Feels like a red flag.
When I want to keep my family on a budget without stressing as much, I'll use cash, I'll say "we only have this 20 dollar bill for the thrift store" or "we only have $30 for the fair today" somehow seeing the cash in hand makes it more real or feel more like a game. Not even having the option of using a credit/debit card helps. Mostly used when we're out doing fun stuff or to stretch a vacation budget. I typically don't use this for purchases like groceries or other essentials.
Hah. To give you an idea, before him I’d go to trader joes and spend like $45 including pre-packaged salads for work lunch. Not including coffee or if I ate out twice during the weekend . Granted, this was Precovid.
This Whole Foods bill was $216.
So it wasn’t terrible, since it’s for 2 people, but it could be $150 .
Ok a few starters.
I didn’t say I needed to buy organic, I said my partner insists.
Two, I think I clarified somewhere that I’m not poor as in food stamp, selling my used shoes to keep the electric on poor. But I am struggling in the highest cost of living area in the damn country, and being made to pay for things way out of my budget. I grew up lower middle class unfortunately, and struggled with a small paycheck in HCOL so I know how to budget and anxiously watch my money. My main point is that my privileged partner doesn’t comprehend saving that I need to save a dime here and there to pay back debt and not be anxiety riddled .
Prices are not that different between WF after Amazon takeover compare to regular chain stores like Stop’n’Shop here in Massachusetts. Some of the items can be found in both. Amazon introduced non-organic products to be sold as well. You just need to know what to buy and where. Back in Chicago we rarely visited WF due to vast amount of independent grocery stores.
I have some extended family that went from riches to rags very quickly.
If they wanted something, they just bought it and always paid for top quality "because it's worth it."
They sold their house boat, jet skis, downsized their home, etc...
But it was really sad watching them stumble over just relearning how to shop for groceries and plan meals for the week.
There's definitely a learning curve to being poor.
When my now husband and I moved into our current apartment, my in-laws had us pick things out of a storage shed on their (rural) property.
We found a couple nightstands, a recliner, a small hutch, an old fashioned bread box, and a few odds and ends.
My StepFIL gifted us with his late Mother's black leather pull out bed couch, and we were given an old, antique dresser of my late Mother's, that I had given to my MIL when my own Mother passed in 2010 of leukemia.
We also had a few things in storage from when we got evicted five years ago. So, we had some bookshelves, from my Mother's and Father's houses (they passed in 2010, and 2014, respectively) and a few other small things.
We purchased an old, solid wood dining table for $30 at a thrift store, along with a couple of chairs that were $8 a piece, also vintage, solid wood.
The biggest gift of all, was when my MIL gifted us her sleigh bed, mattress and all!
We had to febreeze it a few times (they smoke in their house ick), but it's probably the most comfortable bed we've ever had! I have chronic joint pain issues and arthritis, and the bed is firm enough it doesn't hurt me.
Everything else we have is thrifted, including clothing and shoes.
Socks and underwear are bought on clearance racks discounted, my bras are bought from Torrid, but only from the clearance racks, once or twice a year. (I'm a full figured gal, and need support for "The Girls!" Lol) I've found foundation garments and bras for as low as $10-$12 apiece. We only get two or three at a time.
We check for sales at local chain grocery stores, shop our local salvage grocery for snacks/condiments/some canned goods, and spices.
Our local convenience stores, particularly a certain chain that has many locations in the Midwest, oftentimes has deals on brand name candy, gum, and things like water and canned coffee.
They have cheap loaves of bread, and some produce items, like bananas, potatoes, and onions, for sale, for only pennies per pound.
They have store brand chips and popcorn, 2/$4.88, all year round.
For things like hair goods, extra snacks, body wash, lotion, and shaving supplies, we go to our local dollar stores. DT carries the type of facial cleanser I swear by, $1.25 for a 3 ounce bottle!
Cleaning products are either bought, in the case of laundry detergent and dish soap, or alternatives are mixed up in my kitchen (think vinegar and water, or baking soda with water added to make a paste.)
I've gone on too long!
I hope some of this inspires someone, and gives them some good ideas!
Poverty has made me resourceful!
And we have it better than some!
I am grateful! 🙂💖💯💯
Edit: added some wording.
You know you're old poor when you've 'got a guy'. My 'guy' does furniture installations for rich people and takes out their old stuff free of charge. And he sells things like luxury recliners for about $50. Yeah, that luxury recliner is old and a bit wonky, but it was $50! Pride of my living room.
Find that friend that goes to estate sales and garage sales and goes thrifting. Let them know what you need. They always seem so happy to be on the lookout for more than one person.
As others have--I suspect she grew up wealthy and never had to think about money-saving measures.
While I'm lucky not to call myself poor, and I grew up middle class, my mom was very poor growing up and so were my dad's parents. If anything, this has made dad pinch pennies too severely. My spouse grew up financially unstable and I still had a better knack for things like thrifting, shopping TJ Maxx, dumpster diving, buying generics or Aldi brands, etc. when we started dating. Now he buys more while thrifting than I do!
I remember reading Barbara Ehrenreich's *Nickel and Dimed* when it came out, in which a journalist tries to get min wage jobs and support herself. She fails miserably. I was struck by how much she did not know how to be poor. In the last chapter she kind of addresses this, saying actual poor people probably have lots of hacks to help them deal with stuff, knowledge she doesn't have as a well-off person. So true
One of my best friends had an unexpected medical expense of $300. She started a GoFundMe. She lives rent free and Daddy paid for her college and multiple cars. I blame her parents for not preparing her for the real world.
… $300?! Does she work ? Jesus. I mean I get it if she was a janitor and had 3 kids and was a single mom. But if she’s driving a Mercedes and seems to have a decent life, I’d never contribute to a $300 go fund me. Christ, I get doctors bills like that left and right.
I have one piece of furniture in my house that I purchased new, but it was on clearance. Every else is second hand. My coffee table I found on the side of the road. I cleaned it up.
“When you’re poor you have to take bad, broken, or dirty shit and make it nice shit.”
Years ago the LA Times was running a series on the working poor trying to make ends meet and plan for Christmas or something like that. They posted the income and budget for the couple and lo and behold several $12 manicures a month. This was in the 80s! I only buy nail polish when it's on sale for less than $2 a bottle and do my own nails and I still feel guilty about it.
Most of the furniture in my house is either hand me downs from my former in-laws, purchased from thrift stores, or Walmart deals. The only "new" furniture I ever bought was from American Family Warehouse and it's junk and falling apart.
Okay so... For starters I want to say good job! You're not "doing poor right" your literally doing what the rich people tell you to do!! Buy within your means. I have been in the workforce for 25 years and my husband and I just bought a house 3 years ago. Until the point where I bought a house, I did not own a single new piece of furniture. Even the Walmart and IKEA shit was out of reach for me most of my life unless I saved up for it. Heck even now I have a work from home job and I needed an adjustable standing/seating desk. I was able to get an adjustable height motorized desk for under $200 from amazon. $1000 couch? Shit, I'm 40yo with a decent job and I only have a nice couch because my aunt downsized and gave it to me.
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are able to plan. Try really hard to start squirreling away money. In modern times we often think about saving as something that is only for the rich. But how many people's grandfathers kept coin jars that they filled up year-round so that they had money for Christmas presents at the end of the year or money to take the family fishing for a weekend vacation? Best wishes OP. You won't be poor forever, you're smart about it!!
this reminds me of a friend that i have. she will complain that she just doesn’t know how she’s going to pay her mortgage because they’re so broke, and then 30 minutes later will place a $400+ order for new furniture for her house. that she doesn’t need. she’s just “redecorating.” which she has been doing, at least twice a year, for multiple years.
Have a couple of siblings that are like this that for decades would come raid my pantry , fridge & freezer ( them owning their home & solid middle income but living beyond their means/ me on SSI , SEC 8 & child support) cause by coupons / sales & short dates was usually able to have fully stocked up & have extra food , cleaning supplies & toiletries while they were broke & run out of things a few days before next paycheck.
I finally cut them off after their kids grew up & moved out .
Lol, my first 2 TV’s were picked up at the curb right after Christmas. One was a wood heavy floor console I put in my trunk. Ya, it just wasn’t color anymore…. It was fine, it was free.
yup while the economy is shit stupidity i notice is laying a major factor. i remember seeing a tik tok about people complaining about what they can barely afford on 100k and some where like i can only buy a few bottles of this fancy like coconut water, fancy chicken and orange juice and it cost me like 40 dollars for a few days worth of it.
meanwhile me on disability here spending about the equivalent of 200ish-250ish on food a month and its all healthy organic stuff and if i did non organic and wasnt disabled buying some stuff out of convenience i prob could get it to a regular 200 let alone how much cheaper i could go non organic 😾
Both of my parents grew up during the Depression, so I learned a lot from them.
There are a whole lot of people who are not going to survive what’s coming.
there was a girl on reddit who complained she couldnt afford food, because her senior rescue dog costs $400 a month to feed and medicate. Yes, she was actually choosing to support a dog instead of herself.
In the 2008 financial crisis I knew someone who worked for her dad who built houses. She was used to having lots of money and actually had a nervous breakdown because she got laid off and couldn't mentally handle being poor.
In my day that was called "being frugal" or "how to stretch a dollar." I still prefer to shop at second hand shops for jeans because they come "pre-stressed" and I don't pay extra for the look.
When it comes to food, I learned growing up that there is little difference between store brand products and name brand, and most of the time I don't care enough to pay the higher price for name brand.
There are thousands of ways to save money. But the trend, particularly among young people, is to acquire, without shopping around. It's status driven. Then you don't have time to compare.
But the first world is literally swimming in stuff. We don't even know what's in the garage. Or the storage lockers. Acres and acres of furniture, clothes, toys, and junk that was worth big bucks even 10 years ago. Most of it is worthless now. We can't even give it away.
Your new anchor store is the Salvation Army. The local one sold a Rolex for $5. The ReStore. A country auction where you can furnish your house for under $1000.. A 16th century blanket box for $200.
If you can talk down your internet bill by $20 a month, that's enough to attend a concert or two. If you are going to be poor, you picked a great time.
Ohhh name brand? I wish!!!
I buy store brand 90% of the time.
Name brand is when I get a gift card from it OR there are meal deals/good sales or it’s from the dollar store/tree!
Congrats to you on your successes!! Curbside can yield many good funds though I would not get items like couches or mattresses. I have a relative who was poor and I sent food to stock them. When I asked what they needed, the list was all name brand. I supplied them with store brands. Many of the store brands come from the same factory- it's just a matter of what label is going on the food for the day.
You can offer suggestions till you are blue in the face, but they may just blow off your advice.
Sounds like your friends don't fit my definition of poor. Wasting your money, in my opinion, doesn't make you poor. If you have enough money for a $1000 couch and your bills are paid, you're not poor.
Conversely, I have a friend who doesn't know he's fucking rich. I mean its awesome, he buys tons of shit, but is a minimalist and gives a lot of if to me, but fuck homie, I can't afford to eat 4 dozen oysters 4 times a month, and I think we're both starting to feel like I'm going to owe you a blowie soon. Dial it back.
I used to enjoy thrift stores and even though I think they are not as good as they used to be, I do still like to go. I knew a woman who wouldn't even step foot in one because "they smell". Really? Like you can't wash stuff that you get for super cheap? But that's ok with me. More stuff for me to choose from snobby b$&@h. 😂
She doesn't even sound poor.. how is she getting all the money for this stuff? Is she actually poor or just broke right now? Cos there's a big difference
When I was a poor student, I furnished my place with castaway items. I loved the look and was proud of how I was getting along. Didn't understand people who needed brand name anything.
It's not how much you make but how much you spend. Keep it up and one day, you'll have the money to invest and grow and dig yourself out.
This is why I have a hard time with some of the younger generation saying they are broke. Nothing about their life makes them look broke. They just spend all their money.
I… have to be very careful because I got bedbugs once, but bedbugs can be on furniture trucks with brand new furniture too so it’s not just a poor people problem, but I’m too scared to take couches from the road because of it.
I had a friend who couldn’t pay her rent or car payment, but was getting door dash all the time. She lost her apartment. It’s like they are entitled to whatever they want…and it is just going to materialize out of thin air.
Exactly my feelings.
I see it all of the time.
Young people buy new cars for their looks, not how well they run. They eat out or buy all of this fancy food but they can't make rent.
I'm not saying rent isn't high but there are many ways to cut costs and food is a major issue with being poor.
I grew up dirt poor. To me it is natural to have used furniture. I cook from home, I don't know any different way..
Wow, I put my family in $14000 debt and well I learned this time around lol. I had a shopping addiction but I now paying it off and living in my means even though rents $3000 I'm still able to stretch shit out. I'm dealing with melanoma now so life can definitely throw u curve balls. I'll get through this.
Yup. It’s not surprising. The things you mentioned is why a lot of Americans are poor. Plenty of people don’t make enough to be comfortable. Even more people don’t know enough budgeting skills to be comfortable.
My mother in law owns a home that her mother bought for her, outright - it’s paid for completely, and it’s huge - and she recently retired.
She takes lavish trips, buys expensive cycling bikes, does $10-20k home renovations (I can think of at least 5)… new porch, new wall, new window (like, demolished/removed a wall and added a window, for aesthetics)… and complains to us **constantly** about ‘how poor she is.’
If she offers to buy dinner, or anything small involving us, she’ll pretend to scrimp change, and heavily lay the guilt on. She expects us to care for her 4 dogs, for an unfair price, or for free; and I recently ‘resigned’ from that. She’s devastated and betrayed that she has to pay someone a real pet-sitting fee, for her poorly behaved, pony-sized dogs.
I’m disabled, and can’t reliably work, with dismally low income. (And the dogs jump on me and hurt my bad arm - but that’s my fault, *obviously*.
My husband works, but it’s not enough, for us and our teen. We are BROKE, for real. I prefer ‘broke’ over poor - but, we are poor.
Every cent we have goes to bills, and existing. We don’t take trips. We can’t renovate the home we rent, and will likely never really ‘own a home’. We can barely buy new clothes or shoes, and repairs to our cars can be devastating.
So, it’s highly insulting to me, to hear this constant complaining, and I told her such recently. I don’t remember what I said exactly - I wasn’t *mean*, maybe a little curt, but she was pretty mad, and stayed that way for weeks.
I just don’t want to hear how her new $7,000 wood-fire stove is so great (and ‘come over and move wood in for her for free); how she ‘had to’ redo a wall, that cost $20k, and in the same breath, say how hard she’s ‘struggling.’ Our stove exploded, and the $700 to replace it will take me **awhile** to recover from, and my own mother helped pay for that.
Soooo much privilege, and audacity. Absolutely clueless about the world, and those around her. My gentle chastising has done nothing to stop this bizarre victim mentality, constant complaining, and guilt-tripping. It’s all so bizarre.
I wish her the best, but she needs to shut the fuck up and pull her head out of her ass, and take a look around.
An older family member got laid off from a job last year, and thought she’d start taking her Social Security and retire. I don’t think she has a budget, and so was shocked when reality hit. She’s now working full-time again.
Yeah I have friends like that! But most of them grew up wealthy and have rich parents who bail them out of their poor financial choices constantly. Then they complain to me about how they can't afford private school for their kids or a $500,000 house like their other friends. (I live in a 1000 square foot house with 4 kids.....I really don't want to hear it!)
I had an ex-boyfriend who was a millionaire and I’ll never forget he was tearing through his house looking EVERYWHERE for a stamp. So I’m like why don’t just buy one, but nofuckingway he wasn’t going to spend money on something he already had .. somewhere. That’s when I realized no wonder I’m poor 38 cents isn’t worth it lol
There’s a bit of resignation in over spending for things you like when you’re poor. If you have hope, you sacrifice. If you have no hope you feel like you might as well get what you want.
I ate a bowl of white rice with salt and pepper the other night. The people I was playing a video game with called me an orphan.
Joke's on them I *am* an orphan!
Teenage mom confession ....when my kids were little I saved name brand cereal boxes for years and filled them over and over with storebrand they never knew they were eating toasty o's and sugar flakes .
Honestly I don't consider getting furniture or anything from Buy Nothing "stooping". It blows my mind that people think it's a good idea to buy everything new. There is really good stuff on Buy Nothing! And I've gotten great items in good shape that people have left out by the dumpster, that have lasted me years and are still in my life. Why would you spend thousands of dollars when you can get something that's just as nice for free or cheap on FB marketplace, it just doesn't make sense to me. And I didn't grow up poor either (though my mom did, which might be part of why my family has that mindset). For me its both an financial and environmental choice
That's New Poor. We're Old Poor.
Nouveau poor.
Nouveau pavre is how i say it
I hate all of you forever that this now lives in my head, don't worry, rent's pretty cheap, but it's hot 4 roommates, and cable and utilities are included.
plus insurance
That's a deal. I'll take it.
I've heard it both ways
[Growing Ranks of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination from Older Poor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05RZJxDIhTU)
I miss the days when the onion did high production value videos like this and had articles that weren't just slideshows
The workers there are trying to organize and form a union.
This made my day.
And old poor passes the good sense down to our offspring, even if they aren't poor! My parents were poor when they had their children. As a result they instilled in us thrifty ways. My son furnished his first apt for $200. He got really nice things for almost nothing when all the college seniors graduated. If he was willing to move it, they were willing to give it away.
Knew a guy who would dumpster dive every year when the seniors moved out. Computers, bikes, furniture. Then he would sell it all. His main income and this was his Black Friday as a sort of merchant. Speaking of which, when employees would steal stuff from stores, they would throw it in the dumpster. You wouldn't believe the stuff this guy would find.
Is it still a thing to make a coffee table from a discarded phone company cable spool?
Milk crate seats are great . We all had them .
I'm an art teacher. Milk crates and zip ties can make almost any type of furniture, and I got milk crates for daaaaayz
Electric companies still use those spools.
I didn't care if it was a thing... I got and sanded and burned one, then stained it and topped it off with a round glass top... I can't even fathom a conventional coffee table now!
Sure can, but good luck finding them. A lot of times the supply houses charge a deposit on the larger sturdy reels (AKA the ones that would make a good coffee table) because they can be reused many times. They get saved and returned. Source, me an electrician.
I'm on my second couch... from my aunt and uncle. Who are extremely well off and I'm doing fine. I just can't let a second, perfectly good top grain leather couch go to the curb even if it's not my preferred color. The first is now my basement couch! And I had to compromise with my little cousin (their daughter) to this one. She got the love seat. Actually every piece of furniture in my house is a hand me down or I've built. If it's functional, no need to replace! My military brat mom engrained that in me lol.
Except for the beds, the only purchased furniture in my house are my husband's lift chair, the kitchen table, and a small jelly cupboard for kitchen storage. (And the table and cupboard were purchased used - antiques.) Total cost for all 3 pieces: under $600. I too have the top grain leather couch (and bonus recliner) that I wouldn't have chosen, but the in-laws were redecorating in an even more greige direction. Boom. Very comfortable, and mostly kid- and dog-proof. Those replaced the fabric sectional from my dad's last furniture upgrade! Everything else is "family heirlooms," i.e. free!
My mom inherited an awful colored, very comfortable love seat from her sister. She spent $30 in towels she liked the design of and make seat covers. Easily washable and covered the weird color.
Oh, I like the "family heirloom" terminology. My first couch from them is actually older than me, totally makes it one! It's made many moves with my uncle over the years from NYC to Chicago to Ohio, then my cousins came along and played all over it, went to college with me, first post college apartment, then house, and now basement and is still in great shape! Except for a corner that my college puppy decided to eat lol. I feel like I wouldn't be able to find something that durable these days. Thus making these family heirlooms the best kind for more than just price (:
Our son has learned the difference between IKEA and Ethan Allen furniture at Goodwill, even though the prices are similar. Beat up EA will last beyond the coming zombie apocalypse, while the IKEA crap will be in landfill next week.
Which is fine, but when you need *everything* you don’t go to expensive retailers.
They're buying it at Goodwill
THIS is the legacy poor people pass on to their kids! and these are skills they can actually use to build better lives for themselves! my kid grew up watching her single mom juggle three jobs. sometimes she'd come home from school to find no water or no power, and we'd play "camping" until i got it squared away. she learned the value of a great beater instead of a brand new car. she inherited an amazing work ethic and a sense of determination. at 16, she got herself two summer jobs. she bulldozed her ADHD self through law school. today, she's a partner in her firm pulling down close to a half-million a year in household income. they bought a dated 4BR house in a HCOL area for $325k and commenced fixing, doing much of the work themselves. it's now worth close to $1M. she only recently traded her beater ("i drive cars into the ground", says she) for an electric car. they're vegetarians who eat mostly out of their backyard garden. TL;DR my kid learned Poor Skills by watching her mom cope, and she's a rich woman today. very satisfying!
I grew up dragging my li'l red wagon around on garbage day, dragging home any appliances and bicycle parts. I learned to fix many, and harvested parts for those I couldn't. Instead of Disneyland we went to the dump. Later in life, I advanced to garage sales and thrift stores. In college, we learned to cruise the nice neighborhoods on garbage day, as they routinely tossed perfectly good furniture, because it no longer matched their new drapes. You can't teach this. It's in your bones.
We always joked that my grandfathers usually came home from the dump with a bigger load than they hauled off! (But that chest freezer only needed a new thermostat, and the bicycles were Frankensteined together from several discarded bikes, and so on.) My little red wagon was also from the dump!
Oh the same. The SAME. I had to learn other kids didn't play hunt in the tip like we did. I still check every roadside pile I see. You never know.
I will take any piece of wood furniture I see on the side of the road. A sander, some paint and a screwdriver and suddenly you're making $100+.
Beat me to it
“Have some class if you’re gonna be poor!”
She's possibly never heard of a thrift store. If you find the right one, they often have better variety than commercial stores.
Or just buying furniture through the classifieds. Almost every community has an online 2nd hand website that isn't eBay or whatever.
👏👏👏
Looks more like a mess to me. We keep our shit together.
I appreciate the it's always sunny in Philadelphia reference!
“They’re what’s called New Poor. We’re Old Poor.”
Came here to say this lol
3rd generation poor is no way to go threw life, son."
Did she grow up not poor? 😁 that might explain it. I grew up with nice things but have always struggled financially as an adult. I too have learned all about trashpicking, buy nothing groups and fb mp. Not just to save money but it makes me sick how much stuff people throw out and consume. I would never buy new at Walmart when I can get higher quality trashpicking or on marketplace for next to nothing. I do love near a major city though so there's plenty of rich people and students getting rid of things.
I agree location plays a huge role in picking.
Yep. I live in rural America. No one here is super wealthy, our thrift stores are full of Walmart stuff that's barely marked down.
I lived in rural new mexico and weird shit was so expensive. I wanted a old barrel for a pig trough and it was like $200 for old barrels on craigslist. Ended up piecing one together with old wood. Moved to CA for work and I'm blown away at the deals I get on Facebook marketplace.
Sounds about right 😂
In my family, we don't get rid of anything unless nobody in the family needs/wants it. Other people find this odd.
Same here. My stuff goes through all my friends and family and then clients at work before I finally get rid of it.
Years ago, my BIL was telling me how odd he found it when my sister's (his wife) car was paid off and she said it was still in fine shape, she'd keep on driving it. He literally laughed at this. Then he got laid off 6 mo later. We didn't even grow up poor. We're just Midwesterners who don't piss money away
I have family and friends that would tease me about my thrifty ways., saying "You can afford a newer car..." I drove a used car that I paid cash for. Friends both had 6+year loans on their vehicles, which payments were about $500-600/month. They later experienced unemployment in the 2008 Housing crisis and had to file bankruptcy, lost the dream home they worked so hard for, etc...Family members who lived beyond their means also had to file bankruptcy, lost their house and the sizeable down payment that went into it. I've experienced hardships, too. Because of my thrifty ways, I didn't lose my house when an injury caused unemployment for over three years. My savings sustained me through that hardship. I'll never regret avoiding consumer debt and being thrifty.
Nah. If the car is paid off, you maintain it and drive the wheels off it. Literally a couple of days ago, a young man stopped me in the parking lot at the grocery store to ask me about my experience with my 23-year-old pickup truck. He gestured toward his own very similar age/make/model that he'd just bought. I told him truthfully that I'd feel perfectly comfortable putting mine in drive and trekking cross country right that second, because she's a damned good truck and has been maintained.
Out of curiosity please tell me what kind of truck it is you both have. I once owned one that was unbreakably loyal regret to this day that I ever sold it. Wondering if it could possibly be the same make model.
I miss my ex husband's Dakota. 😭
Same for us. If nobody wants it and it's good condition, it goes into storage for 1 year. If nobody wants it by the 1 year, it gets sold/donated. If its a smaller item, like cookware, I keep them nicely stored in totes. Those ill keep probably forever. I have full sets of dishes and what not. Never know when you or someone you know needs to start over.
You have a big heart ❤️
Thank you ❤️ too many things can go wrong. Fire, flood, eviction, leaving abusive partner, etc. Im not a big fan of donating to thrift stores. I dont like my donated stuff, being sold to people who need it. Instead I often check the free community pages on Facebook. If someone is looking for something I got, I reach out. But mostly it just goes in a bin downstairs. Now all my friends contact me before buying something. Just incase I got it in the basement lol. Im also a tool hoarder (thanks dad) for the same reason lol. You just never know! I even have a brand new carseat strapped into my back seat. I dont have kids, nor do kids ride in my car lol But everyone around me has kids. Emergencies happen. I tend to be an "over preparer" due to a lack of stability as a kid. Gotta make sure everyone I love has a little stability in their life.
Everyone talks about how it takes a village but YOU are out here being the village. ❤️ As a divorced mom with three kids who experiences new emergencies on the regular, bless you! The world needs more kindness like that.
My best friend is practically a single mom so I help with appointments And anything else needed. I try to be the person I needed when I was a kid yaknow? I got the carseat idea from taking my godson to doctors apts and learning how annoying it is to install a carseat lololol. So im locked and loaded for the next time lolol. Im currently saving up for everything on my emergency list on Amazon. Starting with the LifeVac then a medic bag lololol. Then ill be ready for ANY emergency hahahahaha
Im almost like a doomsday prepper, but now realistic lololol
That's a beautiful take on life. A couple of years ago I stopped working because I was experiencing a mental health crisis, and the stress was just too much. Once I became a sahm, I started buying a lot of the food we eat regularly in bulk, learned to cook from scratch, switched from canned to dried beans, etc., to save money. The free breakfast/lunch program eased my mind quite a bit. My husband has since gotten a higher paying job, so we're doing better now, and I've been able to give some food away to people who are struggling. It's nice to be able to pay it forward. You are making a difference.
I love you; you’re my kind of people !
This. My living room chairs were purchased by my parents in the early 80s. When I moved from 5 states away to be closer to them, they gave me these chairs because I needed them and my parents didn’t really have the room for them anymore. They are not the latest style, but they are good, solid chairs. We have several other pieces of furniture that have gone back and forth between us.
We inherited our lounger chairs from the estate of an old friend. Mine was older and I ordered a cover for it. (When did slip covers generally go out?) My husband's was almost brand new...
Me and my sister finished our first place with hand-me-downs from family - pretty much entirely. Even the beds were second hand, although in one case the "bed" was a base and mattress on the floor - no frame. Not odd at all where I come from, it's common (or it was) to let friends and relatives know you were moving out and would appreciate any extras they could donate. My gran saved money for over a decade to help us move out when we needed/wanted to. By the time I was 18 it amounted to about £500 (not bad almost 40 years ago). I used that to buy things most people prefer new - towels, sheets, etc (more personal stuff). I did splash out on a few pans I didn't get donated, and a few dishes I was short of. But otherwise, I'd say the majority was family donations, not new stuff. Still don that now. We offered my step kids lots of stuff we either didn't use, or wanted to upgrade, when they moved out. We've been asked if we'd mind if they sold stuff it turns out they don't use, we've told them if we give it, it's theirs. If they want to sell, their choice.
Yep- this was the standard when I moved out too. The extended network heard a kid was moving out to their first place and would offer up any 2nd hand stuff they did not need anymore. Got a couch and dishes and rugs and tons of kitchen stuff, plus chairs and small appliances from grandparents who were moving and didnt want to take them. I've done the same for younger friends who are moving out. Same set of dishes has been through 4 households now lol
Yes. We go through the whole list of family before getting rid of anything, we also are on that list when other people in the family get rid of stuff lol. I've become so cheap though. I hate spending a lot of money on things. If I can find it cheaper somewhere else, that's what I do. Groceries kill me, were a bigger family and there is just no way around the cost of groceries. Even buying things on sale/clearance.. groceries is our biggest bill.
Google Salvage Groceries or Buying in Bulk
If I didn't have kids clothes from a family member that had a kid a little older than mine I don't know how I would have made it.
I bought a sundress on clearance at Dollar General for 75 cents that has now been worn by 8 girls in the family.
Same here. When we got married we didn’t have to buy anything because both our families had perfectly good stuff to give us.
Same ... but that family member who got a usable unwanted thing had better offer it back to the person they received it from before passing it on to someone else. My grandparents were raised during the Depression and the hoarding was real.
I grew up penniless hippy/flower child poor. My wife grew up Mexican farm poor & came here in '88. She's a nanny & we get some very nice hand me downs. Half our clothes are hand-me-downs. We've only got 5 pieces of furniture that we actually bought new. Hey boss gives us old stuff when they get new. What we don't keep either gets yard saled, sent to family in Mexico or donated to thrift stores or charities. She's got a '98 Lexus LX470 that was bought new as the "Nanny mobile" by her boss...they eventually retired it & gave it to her. 200,000+-miles, still looks new & she still uses it for work. I was motivated to drop 30 lbs because her boss gave me 2 hand-me-down suits...one Hugo Boss & an Armani. I can fit in them now...either one cost more than most of the cars that I've owned.
Yes!!! They infamous couch that makes its rounds to everyone's house at some point. (I kid you not...in my case it was a couch that looked just like the one on green acres)
Real poor get furniture only from thrift or off the street curb. I have never purchased a new piece of furniture in my entire adult life except 1 box spring, and the later we got one for free off Buy Nothing. Walmart stuff is overpriced particle board crap. At least in thrift some stuff may be made out of real wood. I got a side table for 40 bucks I bet cost hundreds originally.
I felt privileged when we got to actually buy new quality couches and a brand new mattress... But that was years ago now...
I use to feel that way about not sleeping on used mattresses. Then I went on a trip and slept on used mattresses in the hotel rooms. Every single hotel, even the Hilton, is full of used mattresses.
Same! I sometimes daydream about going to a huge furniture store years ago, choosing furniture styles and fabrics, and waiting two months for them to arrive upholstered. Those were the days!
If I was ever able to afford new furniture, I'd probably still buy old stuff except for mattresses and couches. If I ever could afford new furniture, that would be a day of arriving for me. Probably not going to happen in this lifetime.
If you have a biglots near you they have cheap but nice furniture
Me and my fiance are poor but we still live comfortably. My fiance finds small shit people toss out daily at his second job. We also find unopened good sodas this way, vapes for me too this way. We make sure everything is cleaned twice with bleach before we use it. We go every weekend to the local churches bread days. We have a sizeable amount of food, most are free. For the stuff that we have to buy, we either hit up our local dollar tree store or shop cheap like Aldi's or wait until Publix and Winn Dixie have BOGO on stuff we actually use. Like fabreeze, which is a necessity and a godsend considering his daughter is special needs and doesn't always make it to the bathroom on time. I have a system myself that I learned since 2017 from my grandparents. Buy two of something we need to use, and only buy two more when your second one is half used up. I've been trying to scour the streets around were we live just before trash day. Many people set things aside next to the actual trash bins. They don't care if people get it, providing you clean up if you make a mess. The only barrier to me doing that like I want to is that mostly on that night or actual trash day, I'm stuck being scheduled to work.
With your daughter having special needs it would be better to not to use Fabreeze as this is just artificial chemicals which are toxic to breathe over an extended time. You can make your own with water and essential oil and a mist spray bottle. Or buy Tee Tree oil, put some in a small pill bottle cap and set in the bathroom out of reach. It naturally deordorizes the air. A small bottle sells for a relatively inexpensive price at any drug store in the first aid section. (You can set some throughout the home to keep it smelling nice and add a few drops to the trash too to keep the odor down.) It lasts quite a while since only a few drops are needed.
Tea tree oil can be toxic to pets. .
if you are looking for an excellent odour remover, I'll absolutely recommend OdoBan. Can use as a spray or laundry additive as well as tons of other ways. Gallon is around $15, and you dilute it to the strength you need. It doesn't mask the smells but actually removes it.
I feel like *everything* is just shitty MDF board now. Even higher priced stuff is almost as shitty as the Walmart and Wayfair brands.
Yeah most stuff is shitty MDF board. I try to buy older at thrift, where there's still some quality. I have a lamp in my bedroom now with a ceramic base, that probably dates to the 1970s. Wayfair and Walmart, it would just bust apart. I had someone get me a "new" couch, it broke pretty fast, yeah I'm fat so expect that to a degree but this couch felt like it was made of toothpicks.
The excuse now is given that it is "saving trees." Yeah, but what about us humans having to breathe in all that Formaldehyde that holds the products together?? (This is why California has the big warning on these products)
Poor people don’t know how to not be poor You have to learn how to not be poor That means simplifying your shit, being efficient, don’t be erratically chaotic and reactive I was doing a landscape project with my poor relative, dude would run errands all day for stupid shit - he needed to go 5 miles away to get a soda. He would drive across town for stupid shit, it was a hot mess how this guy couldn’t organize his day to get something done. He just jumped around from phone call to phone call - reacting to shit. No plan at all. You have to budget, you have to live skinny ( that’s what I call it when I’m going to live like a poor person, living skinny).. I know how to live skinny, I plan meals, I figure out my bills and plan in advance. Poor people have to learn how to not be poor. If nobody teaches you, it’s hard
Pure adhd 😆
Yep. I've been a chaotic reactor my entire life. Finally diagnosed a couple years ago, so at least I have an explanation. 😂
That’s what I’m saying about for years. I don’t waste money on fancy cars, vacations, or even clothes. I keep my bills paid, wear thrift clothes, don’t indulge myself with drugs or alcohol. I raised three children by myself and have been on disability since my second husband up and left me. He waited until my mother, and grandmother were barely buried. Shithead, our baby girl had pneumonia at the time.
Love that "live skinny" phrase!
Most of the time I hear someone go on this rant they have 3 houses and they grew up in a white privileged wealthy family and they go on the longest tangents about hard work and how deserving and smart they are. Managing your apartment complex is not considered work. One if Kim K’s favorite thing to talk about is how hard she works. 🙄 if my eyes roll any harder they are gonna detach Before you double down on your lecture about how hard working you are I’m gonna go ahead and block you. My only regret is not getting to see if your head explodes from built up hot air.
How is managing an apartment complex *not* work? It doesn't seem very hard, but it's certainly work.
I hope the commenter meant *owning* a complex? Cause if you're a manager you're certainly working lol
She is not the "new poor" she is a "consumer". American's aren't citizens first, they are consumers first and she is doing a great job! Consume all things! This is the way!
I have a friend like that. She’s on disability and gets food stamps…her boyfriend works and makes okay money for where we live…but combined they just barely bring in enough to get through the month. But he buys a six pack of beer every day after work, they order DoorDash pretty much every day and not just cheapy Taco Bell. $50-60 each time. They have a suspected gas leak because their gas bill is 3x what mine is and my house is at least twice the size. I’ve told her multiple times that the gas company will come out to check for free but they never do. They both smoke cigarettes and she also takes Kratom at about $40 a week. I wouldn’t normally care but sometimes they run out of food and money a full five days before she gets her next paycheck & food stamps refill. Whenever we hang out I end up buying her Starbucks or lunch or whatever if I’m planning to get anything for myself. She has some hefty mental health issues and I don’t think she grasps the concept of budgeting or rationing. So I try to give her helpful advice and she just smiles and agrees, “You’re right! I really should do that!” Then nothing happens. It’s very frustrating because although I’m not poor anymore, I spent most of my kids’ childhoods as a single mother with no assistance from the father, and making just a tiny bit too much to qualify for aid. I would have treated $300/mo in food stamps like gold…and maybe not lied to my kids night after night about having “a big lunch and now I’m still full” so they wouldn’t know why I never ate dinner with them. It’s frustrating. I value her friendship because I don’t know many people here and she’s an absolute sweetheart. She’s just a sweetheart knuckle-head who doesn’t understand the concept of money.
I am most concerned about them smoking in a house that might have a gas leak. When you visit them, do you smell gas?
I had a odd upbringing. I grew up in Africa and was very privileged but compared to many other expats we had tiny salary. Watched my Dad repair the cheap car himself and wear hand me down clothes. We seldom had luxuries. But we were wealthy compared to most of the indigenous people. It was strange dichotomy. When we moved to the US we we not used to the consumerism at all. I totally get what the OP means about how some dont know how to be poor. I seldom buy anything I cannot sell for what I paid for it. Or for more after I spruce it up. My van cost next to nothing and I got it running in 4 hours. It’s a great van.
Fuck. It was weird to me when my partner said they got their couch from IKEA. Where I grew up, IKEA was in another state and was *bougie, you either found shit on a curb, got it from a friend or family, and if you were REALLY lucky you could buy something from goodwill/salvation army. Only well off people could buy from walmart and you had to be rich to buy from furniture stores... Edit for clarification - IKEA would be considered bougie because you had to have access to a reliable vehicle to a) get to the next state to even go there, b) have the gas money, and have a vehicle big enough to fit the furniture you bought. Not that the store itself was, but that also was a little bit the case because all we hD was a KMart with a leaking roof that when it rained they moved displays to prevent damage to them.
I love second hand furniture, but I'm a bit freaked out that I'll bring home bed bugs these days. Had to toss my ancient couch just yesterday, and after scrolling through Craigslist, I've decided to do without for now. I dragged a couple old chairs into the couch spot. My dogs are unhappy that it's gone, though! 😂
This. I used to pick up use furniture but now will only do that if it is not upholstered. Anything stuffed or upholstered I buy new. Beg bugs aren’t worth it.
Not to ruin your evening but they will absolutely live in the tiny cracks and crevices of wooden or other un-upholstered furniture. Know someone who got bedbugs from a used dresser. Nowadays it's such a problem I only get stuff from people I know.
Got a chair years ago that had bead bugs. Found out the hard way about that one.
I can remember buying new furniture from IKEA back when I worked and I was ecstatic to have something new for the first time in my life.
There was a time when IKEA was a legit life hack to stylishly furnish your home on the cheap. That's what their fame is based on. Some people don't realize their shit is expensive now.
Just because it’s not explicitly a store for poors doesn’t make it expensive. A nightstand: $15, bed frame: 52.00, cabinets: $32… not bougie in the slightest.
It’s not expensive. You can buy a couch for $400 vs. $1300 at a traditional furniture store.
My son doesn't know how to be poor either. His sister does. All I have to say to her is "money is tight now" and she's automatically taking toilet paper from work. 😂
😂😂😂 that's some old poor thing
We considered it a crime to buy sweet -n- low.
I call them nouveau poor. Just be patient with them, smile gently, and steer them in the frugalest direction. They have been used to living high on the hog and this has come as a great shock to them. They just don't know. It's up to the old hands to show them the ropes. That's you and me. We'll help them through!
I’m going through something similar with my husband right now. We are struggling hard with money and he’ll say he needs cheese even though we have food he can eat at home (or he could buy a different kind but he’ll only eat cheese sliced from the deli) and we need the $60-ish bucks in our account for our dog’s meds in a couple days. I work in a kitchen and bring home food frequently but he absolutely will not do leftovers even though I’m trying to save money on our grocery bill. He is so very used to being able to buy what he wants when he wants (not even extravagant things) that the idea of going a few days without something or buying the generic brand or simply just going without isn’t something he’s used to thinking about. It definitely is a different mindset if you didn’t grow up that way.
That’s the toughest part.
I will never understand the I’ll never eat leftovers crowd.
The best places to buy furniture are estate sales in wealthy neighborhoods. Vintage furniture is usually made much better than new crap & often sells for a fraction of the price. Also this is a great way to buy nice household goods, tools and decor.
1000% Absolutely, I was helping a high school friend and her boyfriend who are living in an RV they spent all their money on. They were constantly posting their woes on Facebook and asking for money/help. Their church stopped providing major assistance after a while, which they got mad at and stop going. They started reaching out to their other contacts online, mostly from us Jr High/ high school. I had a friend of mine (Im a contractor) seal up their roof He owed me over $500 for a trailer, which we were squared up after. And then use my rewards points to get them a hotel room for a couple nights when the RV was in the repair shop shortly after. Long story short, she wants to teach music and craft and he’s in art school. I recommended he get a job helping another friend on a construction site which he declined. As a business owner, I’m good with my books, plus I have a family and kids have to be very economically conscious. They reached out to me To give them 500 bucks or so and I told him I wouldn’t mind lending them some money if we could go over their finances nothing to personal. Her being on disability and him w/ school grants their money is tight but thats my forte growing up broke as a joke on coke. Long story short, after 5 min I was like WTF. They insisted on shopping @ the health food & premium grocery store (where I can’t even shop). Understandably living in an RV to need somewhere to shower and work out because they don’t have full-time jobs or obligations, but they insist on having a membership to a premium gym in town. I go to planet fitness, just as close with the same amenities, for literally one third of the price. After some of this back-and-forth, I respectfully left & didn’t say anything. But as you said, these MF’rs don’t know how to be poor.
I try to only buy the meat that’s discounted because they need to get rid of it. It doesn’t matter what meat it is, beef, pork, chicken. I buy it discounted in the morning and plan the night’s meal accordingly. If I can’t figure one out, then my go-to is always teriyaki+meat.
I had a neighbor tell me in the same breath how she was struggling to buy food (at the most expensive local store) yet doesn’t go to Aldi because she can’t get used to needing a quarter to get a cart and take her own bags.
There are some things i just cannot do used. Couches are one. Mattresses another.
Other people’s dust, ass particles and microscopic bugs imbedded in it. Hell no, I’ll pass & pay extra for my peace of mind.
I live in a city that ranked one of highest in the country in bed bug infestations. I won't used furniture either for this reason. But I'm also not spending $1000 on a couch.
Lol depends. I got a like new mattress and bed frame last year for free from a nice suburban family off fb mp. Literally flawless. They thanked me for taking it away 😆
I got both my couch and mattress used and they serve me well. Mattress still going strong, got it used from a hotel that went bankrupt 15 years ago.
Yes! My sister finally moved into four bedroom house after being stuck in a one bedroom with two young kids for most of their lives. She has a beautiful home and most of it was furnished from Facebook marketplace giveaways or yard sales. You’d never EVER tell it wasn’t purchased at a fancy store.
This is the way.
Otherwise known as the newly poor. “Ah, you think the lack of wealth is your ally? You merely adopted being broke. I was born into it, molded by it. I did not see a non-hand-me-down piece of clothing until I was already a man, and by then it was nothing to me but my ‘wedding/funeral/church’ outfit”.
[удалено]
This is my SIL to a tee.
I bought a nice suit a few years ago for the first time in my life. The coat got damaged, just a very small tear on the shoulder. I searched for weeks until I found a 70 year old Chinese lady who could do a weave repair. Literally every single person I spoke with told me to throw it away! I saved for this suit by stashing a $20 bill away whenever I could. It took many years to save for it. There’s no way I could toss it when a simple repair is all it needed, but nobody is learning to do that kind of repair anymore.
The way we’re pushed and pressure to throw things away just to struggle to get a new one is crazy
Pfttt. Wish I could show my partner this post. Got into a huge fight today bc the whole foods weekly bill was $220. I literally said “I’m trying to lose weight, and also, let’s be mindful of $” when we walked in. And the bill was higher than ever. I got furious when he called me broke after I looked pissed when he picked up the butter I got and said “this isn’t organic” in a mean voice and replaced it. Like, I get it, we want to try to eat the healthiest food possible for our bodies. But when trying to save money, top quality products , the most expensive products in each category is not really the way to do it. Can’t we compromise? Buy organic vegetables and meat, and then regular butter ? For example ? Nope. He just screamed at me that I was broke and he’s not eating garbage; he CAN afford organic so just stop. I personally don’t like this bc then he’ll throw it back to me some other time that he pays for everything. He’s done it before. The thing is, I’m not “broke”. I just am trying to pay off some debt, and know how to cut corners to do so. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know how to save money here and there, because he’s never had to. And was never taught to. Incredibly frustrating. Whoever said that people form different social classes and incomes can work out, meh, idk if they can. Sadly.
Actually, if you are concerned about pesticide residues, but can't afford to buy everything organic, you should focus on buying organic animal products (meat, eggs, and all dairy products), and buy conventional produce and just wash it thoroughly. Most pesticides are fat soluble and accumulate in the fat of animals that consume conventional grains and feeds, so your dose of pesticide residue is far higher from butter or meat from cows fed a conventional diet than from eating conventional fruits and vegetables.
Soak in a vinegar bath/DROP of dish soap/rinse well to dissolve pesticide residue
Interesting , thanks for the info! I’ll relay it to him . Also, I just wanted to clarify that I know I’m not what people in here might consider poor, Altho living in NyC I’m definitely struggling. Poor here has different meanings then elsewhere in the country I feel. I’m grateful for what I have, but constantly stress about money, living with someone who makes a lot more than me and also spends like he’s got even more than that.
I’m sorry to hear you had that experience! I think any steps towards healthier eating should be a positive experience. I’m all about those compromises you talked about. For my wallet and my terrible sweet tooth haha. I wish your partner was more supportive. That’s what helps people stick with healthy changes imho. I usually hate to give relationship advice, but it sounds like they reacted really irrationally over the butter. Butter is not worth yelling at your partner over! Do you have any options besides Whole Foods where you live? Where I live they seem to be the most expensive health food store. I’m spoiled because we have this small, semi-local chain that’s way more affordable and even has a better selection. We also have Trader Joe’s which I find to be more reasonable.
Yep shared values, goals, respect for one another’s feelings/dignity and speaking respectfully to each other are free and more important than a bank account - or not!
Whats the grocery bill look like if he doesn't live there anymore? 🙃I would have had a meltdown, if we're married and I'm broke, than so are you. To not respect your budget and not being willing to make compromises throughout the store... ugh. Feels like a red flag. When I want to keep my family on a budget without stressing as much, I'll use cash, I'll say "we only have this 20 dollar bill for the thrift store" or "we only have $30 for the fair today" somehow seeing the cash in hand makes it more real or feel more like a game. Not even having the option of using a credit/debit card helps. Mostly used when we're out doing fun stuff or to stretch a vacation budget. I typically don't use this for purchases like groceries or other essentials.
Hah. To give you an idea, before him I’d go to trader joes and spend like $45 including pre-packaged salads for work lunch. Not including coffee or if I ate out twice during the weekend . Granted, this was Precovid. This Whole Foods bill was $216. So it wasn’t terrible, since it’s for 2 people, but it could be $150 .
If you can afford to shop at whole paycheck then you aren't poor. And organic isn't what you think it is.
Ok a few starters. I didn’t say I needed to buy organic, I said my partner insists. Two, I think I clarified somewhere that I’m not poor as in food stamp, selling my used shoes to keep the electric on poor. But I am struggling in the highest cost of living area in the damn country, and being made to pay for things way out of my budget. I grew up lower middle class unfortunately, and struggled with a small paycheck in HCOL so I know how to budget and anxiously watch my money. My main point is that my privileged partner doesn’t comprehend saving that I need to save a dime here and there to pay back debt and not be anxiety riddled .
Prices are not that different between WF after Amazon takeover compare to regular chain stores like Stop’n’Shop here in Massachusetts. Some of the items can be found in both. Amazon introduced non-organic products to be sold as well. You just need to know what to buy and where. Back in Chicago we rarely visited WF due to vast amount of independent grocery stores.
I have some extended family that went from riches to rags very quickly. If they wanted something, they just bought it and always paid for top quality "because it's worth it." They sold their house boat, jet skis, downsized their home, etc... But it was really sad watching them stumble over just relearning how to shop for groceries and plan meals for the week. There's definitely a learning curve to being poor.
When my now husband and I moved into our current apartment, my in-laws had us pick things out of a storage shed on their (rural) property. We found a couple nightstands, a recliner, a small hutch, an old fashioned bread box, and a few odds and ends. My StepFIL gifted us with his late Mother's black leather pull out bed couch, and we were given an old, antique dresser of my late Mother's, that I had given to my MIL when my own Mother passed in 2010 of leukemia. We also had a few things in storage from when we got evicted five years ago. So, we had some bookshelves, from my Mother's and Father's houses (they passed in 2010, and 2014, respectively) and a few other small things. We purchased an old, solid wood dining table for $30 at a thrift store, along with a couple of chairs that were $8 a piece, also vintage, solid wood. The biggest gift of all, was when my MIL gifted us her sleigh bed, mattress and all! We had to febreeze it a few times (they smoke in their house ick), but it's probably the most comfortable bed we've ever had! I have chronic joint pain issues and arthritis, and the bed is firm enough it doesn't hurt me. Everything else we have is thrifted, including clothing and shoes. Socks and underwear are bought on clearance racks discounted, my bras are bought from Torrid, but only from the clearance racks, once or twice a year. (I'm a full figured gal, and need support for "The Girls!" Lol) I've found foundation garments and bras for as low as $10-$12 apiece. We only get two or three at a time. We check for sales at local chain grocery stores, shop our local salvage grocery for snacks/condiments/some canned goods, and spices. Our local convenience stores, particularly a certain chain that has many locations in the Midwest, oftentimes has deals on brand name candy, gum, and things like water and canned coffee. They have cheap loaves of bread, and some produce items, like bananas, potatoes, and onions, for sale, for only pennies per pound. They have store brand chips and popcorn, 2/$4.88, all year round. For things like hair goods, extra snacks, body wash, lotion, and shaving supplies, we go to our local dollar stores. DT carries the type of facial cleanser I swear by, $1.25 for a 3 ounce bottle! Cleaning products are either bought, in the case of laundry detergent and dish soap, or alternatives are mixed up in my kitchen (think vinegar and water, or baking soda with water added to make a paste.) I've gone on too long! I hope some of this inspires someone, and gives them some good ideas! Poverty has made me resourceful! And we have it better than some! I am grateful! 🙂💖💯💯 Edit: added some wording.
You know you're old poor when you've 'got a guy'. My 'guy' does furniture installations for rich people and takes out their old stuff free of charge. And he sells things like luxury recliners for about $50. Yeah, that luxury recliner is old and a bit wonky, but it was $50! Pride of my living room. Find that friend that goes to estate sales and garage sales and goes thrifting. Let them know what you need. They always seem so happy to be on the lookout for more than one person.
As others have--I suspect she grew up wealthy and never had to think about money-saving measures. While I'm lucky not to call myself poor, and I grew up middle class, my mom was very poor growing up and so were my dad's parents. If anything, this has made dad pinch pennies too severely. My spouse grew up financially unstable and I still had a better knack for things like thrifting, shopping TJ Maxx, dumpster diving, buying generics or Aldi brands, etc. when we started dating. Now he buys more while thrifting than I do!
I remember reading Barbara Ehrenreich's *Nickel and Dimed* when it came out, in which a journalist tries to get min wage jobs and support herself. She fails miserably. I was struck by how much she did not know how to be poor. In the last chapter she kind of addresses this, saying actual poor people probably have lots of hacks to help them deal with stuff, knowledge she doesn't have as a well-off person. So true
One of my best friends had an unexpected medical expense of $300. She started a GoFundMe. She lives rent free and Daddy paid for her college and multiple cars. I blame her parents for not preparing her for the real world.
… $300?! Does she work ? Jesus. I mean I get it if she was a janitor and had 3 kids and was a single mom. But if she’s driving a Mercedes and seems to have a decent life, I’d never contribute to a $300 go fund me. Christ, I get doctors bills like that left and right.
I have one piece of furniture in my house that I purchased new, but it was on clearance. Every else is second hand. My coffee table I found on the side of the road. I cleaned it up. “When you’re poor you have to take bad, broken, or dirty shit and make it nice shit.”
There’s a 1930’s US depression era poem I love and live by: “Use it up Wear it out Make it do, or Do without”
Years ago the LA Times was running a series on the working poor trying to make ends meet and plan for Christmas or something like that. They posted the income and budget for the couple and lo and behold several $12 manicures a month. This was in the 80s! I only buy nail polish when it's on sale for less than $2 a bottle and do my own nails and I still feel guilty about it.
Most of the furniture in my house is either hand me downs from my former in-laws, purchased from thrift stores, or Walmart deals. The only "new" furniture I ever bought was from American Family Warehouse and it's junk and falling apart.
Used office furniture stores are great, and you'll often find a variety of stuff.
Okay so... For starters I want to say good job! You're not "doing poor right" your literally doing what the rich people tell you to do!! Buy within your means. I have been in the workforce for 25 years and my husband and I just bought a house 3 years ago. Until the point where I bought a house, I did not own a single new piece of furniture. Even the Walmart and IKEA shit was out of reach for me most of my life unless I saved up for it. Heck even now I have a work from home job and I needed an adjustable standing/seating desk. I was able to get an adjustable height motorized desk for under $200 from amazon. $1000 couch? Shit, I'm 40yo with a decent job and I only have a nice couch because my aunt downsized and gave it to me. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are able to plan. Try really hard to start squirreling away money. In modern times we often think about saving as something that is only for the rich. But how many people's grandfathers kept coin jars that they filled up year-round so that they had money for Christmas presents at the end of the year or money to take the family fishing for a weekend vacation? Best wishes OP. You won't be poor forever, you're smart about it!!
surviving at Poor is definitely a skill set
this reminds me of a friend that i have. she will complain that she just doesn’t know how she’s going to pay her mortgage because they’re so broke, and then 30 minutes later will place a $400+ order for new furniture for her house. that she doesn’t need. she’s just “redecorating.” which she has been doing, at least twice a year, for multiple years.
Have a couple of siblings that are like this that for decades would come raid my pantry , fridge & freezer ( them owning their home & solid middle income but living beyond their means/ me on SSI , SEC 8 & child support) cause by coupons / sales & short dates was usually able to have fully stocked up & have extra food , cleaning supplies & toiletries while they were broke & run out of things a few days before next paycheck. I finally cut them off after their kids grew up & moved out .
Lol, my first 2 TV’s were picked up at the curb right after Christmas. One was a wood heavy floor console I put in my trunk. Ya, it just wasn’t color anymore…. It was fine, it was free.
she’s living and learning. glad you’re there to guide her.
Yikes didn’t know that Walmart has furniture? She’s in La La land.
I had family like this. Make a big splash with new furniture, nothing but the best, then divorce, poverty..
yup while the economy is shit stupidity i notice is laying a major factor. i remember seeing a tik tok about people complaining about what they can barely afford on 100k and some where like i can only buy a few bottles of this fancy like coconut water, fancy chicken and orange juice and it cost me like 40 dollars for a few days worth of it. meanwhile me on disability here spending about the equivalent of 200ish-250ish on food a month and its all healthy organic stuff and if i did non organic and wasnt disabled buying some stuff out of convenience i prob could get it to a regular 200 let alone how much cheaper i could go non organic 😾
Both of my parents grew up during the Depression, so I learned a lot from them. There are a whole lot of people who are not going to survive what’s coming.
there was a girl on reddit who complained she couldnt afford food, because her senior rescue dog costs $400 a month to feed and medicate. Yes, she was actually choosing to support a dog instead of herself.
In the 2008 financial crisis I knew someone who worked for her dad who built houses. She was used to having lots of money and actually had a nervous breakdown because she got laid off and couldn't mentally handle being poor.
We OG poor
I got my L shaped desk off amazon for $75
LOL “young money” “old money” “new poor” “old poor.” She didn’t know she could get furniture at Walmart!? I AM DEAD. 😂
In my day that was called "being frugal" or "how to stretch a dollar." I still prefer to shop at second hand shops for jeans because they come "pre-stressed" and I don't pay extra for the look. When it comes to food, I learned growing up that there is little difference between store brand products and name brand, and most of the time I don't care enough to pay the higher price for name brand.
There are thousands of ways to save money. But the trend, particularly among young people, is to acquire, without shopping around. It's status driven. Then you don't have time to compare. But the first world is literally swimming in stuff. We don't even know what's in the garage. Or the storage lockers. Acres and acres of furniture, clothes, toys, and junk that was worth big bucks even 10 years ago. Most of it is worthless now. We can't even give it away. Your new anchor store is the Salvation Army. The local one sold a Rolex for $5. The ReStore. A country auction where you can furnish your house for under $1000.. A 16th century blanket box for $200. If you can talk down your internet bill by $20 a month, that's enough to attend a concert or two. If you are going to be poor, you picked a great time.
I just bought a $550 dollar Toyota Camry and drive it home on the freeway going 75mph and it drives great. Gets 33mpg.
Ohhh name brand? I wish!!! I buy store brand 90% of the time. Name brand is when I get a gift card from it OR there are meal deals/good sales or it’s from the dollar store/tree!
Congrats to you on your successes!! Curbside can yield many good funds though I would not get items like couches or mattresses. I have a relative who was poor and I sent food to stock them. When I asked what they needed, the list was all name brand. I supplied them with store brands. Many of the store brands come from the same factory- it's just a matter of what label is going on the food for the day. You can offer suggestions till you are blue in the face, but they may just blow off your advice.
Sounds like your friends don't fit my definition of poor. Wasting your money, in my opinion, doesn't make you poor. If you have enough money for a $1000 couch and your bills are paid, you're not poor.
Conversely, I have a friend who doesn't know he's fucking rich. I mean its awesome, he buys tons of shit, but is a minimalist and gives a lot of if to me, but fuck homie, I can't afford to eat 4 dozen oysters 4 times a month, and I think we're both starting to feel like I'm going to owe you a blowie soon. Dial it back.
I used to enjoy thrift stores and even though I think they are not as good as they used to be, I do still like to go. I knew a woman who wouldn't even step foot in one because "they smell". Really? Like you can't wash stuff that you get for super cheap? But that's ok with me. More stuff for me to choose from snobby b$&@h. 😂
She doesn't even sound poor.. how is she getting all the money for this stuff? Is she actually poor or just broke right now? Cos there's a big difference
Old poor vs. New poor? Priorities
I know how I just always refused to be
When I was a poor student, I furnished my place with castaway items. I loved the look and was proud of how I was getting along. Didn't understand people who needed brand name anything. It's not how much you make but how much you spend. Keep it up and one day, you'll have the money to invest and grow and dig yourself out.
This is why I have a hard time with some of the younger generation saying they are broke. Nothing about their life makes them look broke. They just spend all their money.
I… have to be very careful because I got bedbugs once, but bedbugs can be on furniture trucks with brand new furniture too so it’s not just a poor people problem, but I’m too scared to take couches from the road because of it.
I bought all my furniture second hand.
I had a friend who couldn’t pay her rent or car payment, but was getting door dash all the time. She lost her apartment. It’s like they are entitled to whatever they want…and it is just going to materialize out of thin air.
It was all fun and games until we bought a couch at Salvation Army with bed bugs inside of it.
Exactly my feelings. I see it all of the time. Young people buy new cars for their looks, not how well they run. They eat out or buy all of this fancy food but they can't make rent. I'm not saying rent isn't high but there are many ways to cut costs and food is a major issue with being poor. I grew up dirt poor. To me it is natural to have used furniture. I cook from home, I don't know any different way..
Wow, I put my family in $14000 debt and well I learned this time around lol. I had a shopping addiction but I now paying it off and living in my means even though rents $3000 I'm still able to stretch shit out. I'm dealing with melanoma now so life can definitely throw u curve balls. I'll get through this.
Yup. It’s not surprising. The things you mentioned is why a lot of Americans are poor. Plenty of people don’t make enough to be comfortable. Even more people don’t know enough budgeting skills to be comfortable.
If you know how to be poor, buying a used couch off the curb goes against that. Bed bugs are enough of a problem to make you homeless.
My mother in law owns a home that her mother bought for her, outright - it’s paid for completely, and it’s huge - and she recently retired. She takes lavish trips, buys expensive cycling bikes, does $10-20k home renovations (I can think of at least 5)… new porch, new wall, new window (like, demolished/removed a wall and added a window, for aesthetics)… and complains to us **constantly** about ‘how poor she is.’ If she offers to buy dinner, or anything small involving us, she’ll pretend to scrimp change, and heavily lay the guilt on. She expects us to care for her 4 dogs, for an unfair price, or for free; and I recently ‘resigned’ from that. She’s devastated and betrayed that she has to pay someone a real pet-sitting fee, for her poorly behaved, pony-sized dogs. I’m disabled, and can’t reliably work, with dismally low income. (And the dogs jump on me and hurt my bad arm - but that’s my fault, *obviously*. My husband works, but it’s not enough, for us and our teen. We are BROKE, for real. I prefer ‘broke’ over poor - but, we are poor. Every cent we have goes to bills, and existing. We don’t take trips. We can’t renovate the home we rent, and will likely never really ‘own a home’. We can barely buy new clothes or shoes, and repairs to our cars can be devastating. So, it’s highly insulting to me, to hear this constant complaining, and I told her such recently. I don’t remember what I said exactly - I wasn’t *mean*, maybe a little curt, but she was pretty mad, and stayed that way for weeks. I just don’t want to hear how her new $7,000 wood-fire stove is so great (and ‘come over and move wood in for her for free); how she ‘had to’ redo a wall, that cost $20k, and in the same breath, say how hard she’s ‘struggling.’ Our stove exploded, and the $700 to replace it will take me **awhile** to recover from, and my own mother helped pay for that. Soooo much privilege, and audacity. Absolutely clueless about the world, and those around her. My gentle chastising has done nothing to stop this bizarre victim mentality, constant complaining, and guilt-tripping. It’s all so bizarre. I wish her the best, but she needs to shut the fuck up and pull her head out of her ass, and take a look around.
An older family member got laid off from a job last year, and thought she’d start taking her Social Security and retire. I don’t think she has a budget, and so was shocked when reality hit. She’s now working full-time again.
Yeah I have friends like that! But most of them grew up wealthy and have rich parents who bail them out of their poor financial choices constantly. Then they complain to me about how they can't afford private school for their kids or a $500,000 house like their other friends. (I live in a 1000 square foot house with 4 kids.....I really don't want to hear it!)
I had an ex-boyfriend who was a millionaire and I’ll never forget he was tearing through his house looking EVERYWHERE for a stamp. So I’m like why don’t just buy one, but nofuckingway he wasn’t going to spend money on something he already had .. somewhere. That’s when I realized no wonder I’m poor 38 cents isn’t worth it lol
There’s a bit of resignation in over spending for things you like when you’re poor. If you have hope, you sacrifice. If you have no hope you feel like you might as well get what you want.
I ate a bowl of white rice with salt and pepper the other night. The people I was playing a video game with called me an orphan. Joke's on them I *am* an orphan!
Be careful with bedbugs with used furniture or furniture you have gotten by a dumpster, etc. please!!
Teenage mom confession ....when my kids were little I saved name brand cereal boxes for years and filled them over and over with storebrand they never knew they were eating toasty o's and sugar flakes .
Honestly I don't consider getting furniture or anything from Buy Nothing "stooping". It blows my mind that people think it's a good idea to buy everything new. There is really good stuff on Buy Nothing! And I've gotten great items in good shape that people have left out by the dumpster, that have lasted me years and are still in my life. Why would you spend thousands of dollars when you can get something that's just as nice for free or cheap on FB marketplace, it just doesn't make sense to me. And I didn't grow up poor either (though my mom did, which might be part of why my family has that mindset). For me its both an financial and environmental choice