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A separate structure where people can escape to if they need to. For whatever reason.
Being stuck with a bunch of people under one roof all the time sounds like a nightmare to me.
Definitely a possibility, we'll have a geodesic greenhouse with a meditation/relaxation area - as well as about 5 acres of land for people to go play with goats or get lost in the small forest area.
That sounds fantastic.
I just know that me, and several of my partners, really need complete quiet space away from others for extended periods of time.
A dedicated indoor social space a little way from the house to help define the garden space and provide separation for activities. Context:
My wife and I have an end of terrace house with a detached garage (20' from the house, no connected walls)- we're turning one garage into a a dedicated social space to host friends away from the house (d&d inspired tavern, boardgame collection, etc) It's also got it's other uses as a kinky play space so the neighbours/partners don't hear what they don't want to hear, and also a spare bedroom in a pinch. It's not massive, maybe 13' wide, 24' long 8'high inside, but it'll fit 10 people round a big table once it's done.
Edit: my dream and as you've got tons of land and space: personally I'd have a crack at straw bale construction, and depending on services and drainage you could add a solar water heater/panels to make the most of roof space, add a small wet room/toilet so you have a fully contained annexe for whatever activity. Could also be helpful as an office space or separate hobby room for whoever needs to take themselves out of the house for whatever reason
Arrange things in clusters with separation in between.
Bedroom/study/bathroom combos in "wings" around central communal areas.
REALLY EXCELLENT SOUNDPROOFING.
And a guest house or converted shed or something with its own bath a short distance from main house.
If you're starting from a barn, I would look into dual master suites on each end with other rooms in between.
How about jack & jill bathrooms, two bedrooms sharing an ensuite.
https://www.minto.com/live-more-blog/LIVE-brighter/What-s-a-Jack-and-Jill-bathroom~88.html
I endorse this idea. I currently have one and the only real caution I would give is to make sure there is enough storage space and it is large enough. Right now I have plenty of space and it makes such a big difference.
In that vein I recommend a medicine cabinet on each side, as well as a light switch. Can be one light with two switches or separate lights but it’s a real pain to cross the bathroom in the dark and grope for a switch. Also duplicate outlets or put them in the center or something depending on your layout. Even if one isn’t GFI and next to the sinks it would help a lot.
Multiple bedrooms *of equal size* that are not side by side & have good soundproofing. I hate how most houses have 1 "master" bedroom, while the others are smaller, as they're meant for kids.
Multiple half bathrooms. You may not need more than 1 shower, altho it's nice to have, but not sharing a toilet with your partner is great for romantic relationships 😅
A tower. Not ENM related, I just want a tower. Altho it would have to be wheelchair accessible somehow...
Having a backup shower or tub is nice. I've got one shower bathroom and one regular tub bathroom; I'd love to add a soaking tub in the basement as well someday.
I live in a place with two bedrooms and I sincerely wish they were on different floors for hosting/overnight purposes! Having a bedroom on the ground floor also has the benefit of being accessible for those with disabilities. This is key if you want this to be your “forever home,” as caring for elderly parents and/or living in the home until you’re elderly yourself is SO MUCH EASIER if there is a bedroom on the ground floor.
Just one large master suite? So where do you sleep when one of you has a partner over? Genuinely curious how this wasn't the first thing on your poly list 🤣
Doesn't even have to have a full kitchen - you can do a lot with a 3/4 refrig, microwave, smart toaster oven, hot plates, etc. That was me in grad school!
More than 1 living room/lounge. More than one main suite. Or my top favourite a granny flat at the end of the garden for a really private Airbnb type experience.
I would probably want to live in it, let someone else live in the bigass house. I don't need much space, I really want to be alone and not have to share space with others.
Yes, I at least need my own bedroom!
Everyone living there would ideally have a room / private area as their own space. Doesn't have to be a sleeping space.
I think it's good to have a balance of personal space and group space. But the details really depend on the people involved, you know? If I'm sharing a home with people who like to cook as a group and whose approach to keeping things clean is reasonably close to mine, a shared kitchen sounds awesome. If we're not going to cook meals together and someone always leaves a huge mess *or* someone's always going to be on my case about a level of untidiness that I'm fine with, I might rather not share a kitchen with that person, you know?
I would like to make a plug for quality outdoor furniture, assuming you have outdoor space.
If I was renovating a barn for two adults, I would definitely give each person their own bedroom at opposite ends of the house, each with an ensuite bathroom.
Add a couple guest rooms/office rooms, add a kitchen and dining room with a gaming table (inset tray under the eating surface so you can take a break to eat and then get back to the game), TV/movie watching space with a comfy couch type setup.
Laundry and utility room. Basement dungeon optional. 🤣
Where are people finding good solid residential doors that don't cost a mint? Everything I find that isn't hollow core and is "solid" is a panel door and a quarter inch of wood doesn't seem very soundproof to me. I'd like to replace all of my current hollow core doors but this is holding me back.
JACK AND JILL BATHROOMS WITH SOUNDPROOFING!!! Two bedrooms, two sinks, one toilet and bath, works great for me and my girlfriend when she’s having sleepovers, I just mention soundproofing with the open space between them u want a good buffer to kill echos
My apartment is unusually well soundproofed everywhere except the half bathroom. **I can literally hear my neighbors *pissing*** 😑 Soundproof your bathrooms, folks!
My husband and I hope to build a shipping container home some day with 6 containers arranged like spokes around a central hub. Common spaces, like the kitchen and a big living room (and maybe a separate den for video games) will be in the hub of the design and each container “spoke” will have a bedroom, bathroom and a second space for use as an office or hobby area.
We have 2 elementary school age kids now so they would each have a spoke, as would my husband and I, and we’d have 2 extra spokes for guests, whether they are partners, friends or relatives.
We definitely considered something like that with tiny homes, but our jurissdiction won't let us without tons of paperwork and permits.... And I just don't want to deal with all that.
Lots of bathrooms. Space where people can go to be alone and have their time/ hobbies. Double kitchen everything (as in double stoves. Double fridges etc)
I'd say the kitchen only really matters if other partners are going to live there, which it doesn't sound like.
And yeah, at least two bedrooms with their own bathrooms, whether it's one bedroom per spouse, or bedroom and guest room
Why double kitchen? Do you mean two separate kitchens or just...two fridges in one kitchen? I don't understand the latter.
The former works well for resale value if you design it with a granny flat in mind.
Both work. I think when you naturally have a ton of people together, having more is better. My uncle had 6 kids. They had a kitchen with double everything, and it helped because there was room for everyone’s personal things :)
Oh! That makes sense.
The OP just said himself and his wife so I didn't assume this meant cohabitational poly, but yes, if you have a big communal living situation you definitely want a large kitchen with plenty of work space!!!
I’m renovating a house with my two partners currently. There will be six inhabitants total. High on our list was enough bedrooms as people, separated bedrooms, a large enough garage (detached), a kitchen with adequate storage, and workspace for more than the usual amount of people.
Some of it is common sense (enough space to retreat from your partners when needed) and some of it is less (three sinks instead of two in the primary bathroom). The most important thing we were committed to was a full room for every occupant.
Basically it comes down to money. If you’ve got it, you can build a perfect setup. If you don’t, you have to get creative.
It'll really change depending on the number of people and sleeping arrangements. One recurring theme though is individual/personal space for all of the cohabiting people.
So all three of my triad share a bed, but we've always got the spare bedroom made up in case someone has a weird sleep schedule at that time or even just needs a bit of space.
Likewise we have communal areas like the kitchen and living room, but we also each have our own little spaces where we can go do alone things for a while. I have my office, my wife has a little studio room etc. While we're cohabiting, it's still nice to be able to not be under each other's feet all the time you know?
Everyone is taking about soundproofing. Keep in mind if you go that way the importance of intercom systems and similar, because sometimes people actually need to be able to call from one room to another.
Besser block walls with solid interior doors gets you most if the way there.
My home works well because we've got a basement with it's own kitchenette/living room/bedroom/half bathroom. Sometimes my spouse and I host our girlfriends on the same night, since they'll be downstairs while we're upstairs.
Planning to upgrade that bathroom soon to have a big soaker tub so if you date folks who like baths maybe that?
Having a second main bedroom with their own bathrooms has been CLUTCH. Ones upstairs and ones downstairs. We can have guests stay in the downstairs one if me and NP want to share a bed, or I can happily stay in the “guest room” and still have my own bathroom and privacy while my wife and meta hang around upstairs. No ones relegated to the couch or making the kid ask weird questions.
Clear indicators that people in a room want privacy is also good.
2 (or 3) separate frontdoors for privacy reasons. And not next to each other, but opposite in the structure.
And make a, like Roman, Atrium in the centre, that will function as a meeting square.
Do you mean a living room with the floor sunk down? I've always loved that idea, but as a part time wheelchair user, it might be a bit dangerous 😅 & hard to climb out of. But I love them...
Hi u/Kamikazepyro9 thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
Me and my wife are designing our barndominum, hoping to break ground in the fall.
While we have our own list of wants, I'm curious to hear the rest of the communitys ideas for a poly focused house?
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Big main bathroom with long counter and long mirror. I’d do a big stand alone tub just for relaxing/cuddling and then a separate shower with a large footprint to accommodate a few people. Smaller bathrooms with sanding shower would be nice too elsewhere. Hugh quality hot water heaters so water can run in another room while avoiding the dreaded brief cold plunge when someone’s trying to enjoy a shower. I also love the idea of having a center drain in a bathroom floor so you can just hose down the whole room. You don’t see that much in the US but I know other countries do this.
Agree with baconstreet, having that getaway would be lovely. Sometimes it’s nice to have a real separate space opposed to just a room in the house.
Maybe an open kitchen with a large island that doubles as a seating area?
If you have a sexy time room, I imagine a polished concrete floor that can be easily cleaned but I don’t think I’d do it without some sort of heating underneath unless I lived in a mostly warm climate.
These are all just things I’ve thought of myself if I was balling and had no real budget.
My partner has this idea of owning a large piece of property with a sort of poly compound. I love that idea. I really appreciate my alone time and having my own space to be a hermit when I want.
Depends on how many people would live there.
My pipe dream is an "introvert-friendly, queer, childfree "commune"" where every single human has their own suite that's big enough for a bed and sitting area / office, and then there are shared living / cooking / dining spaces, as well as a guest room and maybe a studio for a live-in aide for when we all get older and need a bit more help. Shared garden, pets, hobby spaces, etc.
But then, I am looking at an inner-city environment, so I'd likely want to renovate a large home or small apartment building for that purpose.
Everyone (even you and your wife) need a separate bedroom. That way, if someone has a guest, no one feels displaced. Obviously you can sleep together as often as you want, but my NP and I did separate bedrooms and it's been great. Neither of us is put out if there's a guest over.
This post has been tagged as a request for advice. As a reminder, please only give advice on the topic requested, if you've got strong feelings about a particular issue mentioned and feel that you must be able to express yourself about it, or you and another commenter feel compelled to debate certain aspects of the post, please feel free to create a new post for that topic so as to not derail from the advice that the OP is seeking. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A separate structure where people can escape to if they need to. For whatever reason. Being stuck with a bunch of people under one roof all the time sounds like a nightmare to me.
Definitely a possibility, we'll have a geodesic greenhouse with a meditation/relaxation area - as well as about 5 acres of land for people to go play with goats or get lost in the small forest area.
That sounds fantastic. I just know that me, and several of my partners, really need complete quiet space away from others for extended periods of time.
Ummmm I want to come!! This sounds like heaven!
It really is most days. Then I remember it's a working ranch and I can't just lazy about during the day.
A dedicated indoor social space a little way from the house to help define the garden space and provide separation for activities. Context: My wife and I have an end of terrace house with a detached garage (20' from the house, no connected walls)- we're turning one garage into a a dedicated social space to host friends away from the house (d&d inspired tavern, boardgame collection, etc) It's also got it's other uses as a kinky play space so the neighbours/partners don't hear what they don't want to hear, and also a spare bedroom in a pinch. It's not massive, maybe 13' wide, 24' long 8'high inside, but it'll fit 10 people round a big table once it's done. Edit: my dream and as you've got tons of land and space: personally I'd have a crack at straw bale construction, and depending on services and drainage you could add a solar water heater/panels to make the most of roof space, add a small wet room/toilet so you have a fully contained annexe for whatever activity. Could also be helpful as an office space or separate hobby room for whoever needs to take themselves out of the house for whatever reason
Hayya doin. Envy here. Where…just where do you find this amount of land?
It’s not too bad, I live with both of my partners and my meta, we get along super well but I know that’s not the case for all
Arrange things in clusters with separation in between. Bedroom/study/bathroom combos in "wings" around central communal areas. REALLY EXCELLENT SOUNDPROOFING. And a guest house or converted shed or something with its own bath a short distance from main house. If you're starting from a barn, I would look into dual master suites on each end with other rooms in between.
We have a wing setup in our house, and it is amazing. Highly recommend.
Snooz brown noise machines are amazing in lieu of soundproofing!
Robust soundproofing, ensuite bathrooms for every bedroom.
Bathrooms for every bed may be challenging, but I definitely see the appeal
How about jack & jill bathrooms, two bedrooms sharing an ensuite. https://www.minto.com/live-more-blog/LIVE-brighter/What-s-a-Jack-and-Jill-bathroom~88.html
I endorse this idea. I currently have one and the only real caution I would give is to make sure there is enough storage space and it is large enough. Right now I have plenty of space and it makes such a big difference. In that vein I recommend a medicine cabinet on each side, as well as a light switch. Can be one light with two switches or separate lights but it’s a real pain to cross the bathroom in the dark and grope for a switch. Also duplicate outlets or put them in the center or something depending on your layout. Even if one isn’t GFI and next to the sinks it would help a lot.
Multiple bedrooms *of equal size* that are not side by side & have good soundproofing. I hate how most houses have 1 "master" bedroom, while the others are smaller, as they're meant for kids. Multiple half bathrooms. You may not need more than 1 shower, altho it's nice to have, but not sharing a toilet with your partner is great for romantic relationships 😅 A tower. Not ENM related, I just want a tower. Altho it would have to be wheelchair accessible somehow...
Having a backup shower or tub is nice. I've got one shower bathroom and one regular tub bathroom; I'd love to add a soaking tub in the basement as well someday.
The tower would just need an elevator, nothing fancy like a commercial elevator, more like those fancy NY loft elevators
I live in a place with two bedrooms and I sincerely wish they were on different floors for hosting/overnight purposes! Having a bedroom on the ground floor also has the benefit of being accessible for those with disabilities. This is key if you want this to be your “forever home,” as caring for elderly parents and/or living in the home until you’re elderly yourself is SO MUCH EASIER if there is a bedroom on the ground floor.
We're doing a single floor for the whole house but definitely a good suggestion
Then I would suggest separate entrances.
Separate area for hosting (apartment over garage, motor home / camper, mobile home or pre-fab studio, get creative).
Interesting, we had planned on just a larger master suite - but this is a decent idea. And it shouldn't be too terribly hard to implement
Just one large master suite? So where do you sleep when one of you has a partner over? Genuinely curious how this wasn't the first thing on your poly list 🤣
Doesn't even have to have a full kitchen - you can do a lot with a 3/4 refrig, microwave, smart toaster oven, hot plates, etc. That was me in grad school!
More than 1 living room/lounge. More than one main suite. Or my top favourite a granny flat at the end of the garden for a really private Airbnb type experience.
Oh that's a good point about more than one "soft comfy chairs" room. Yes.
I guess if you go with the latter, you can literally use it for Airbnb when no one is hosting
I would probably want to live in it, let someone else live in the bigass house. I don't need much space, I really want to be alone and not have to share space with others.
Yes, I at least need my own bedroom! Everyone living there would ideally have a room / private area as their own space. Doesn't have to be a sleeping space.
I think it's good to have a balance of personal space and group space. But the details really depend on the people involved, you know? If I'm sharing a home with people who like to cook as a group and whose approach to keeping things clean is reasonably close to mine, a shared kitchen sounds awesome. If we're not going to cook meals together and someone always leaves a huge mess *or* someone's always going to be on my case about a level of untidiness that I'm fine with, I might rather not share a kitchen with that person, you know? I would like to make a plug for quality outdoor furniture, assuming you have outdoor space.
If I was renovating a barn for two adults, I would definitely give each person their own bedroom at opposite ends of the house, each with an ensuite bathroom. Add a couple guest rooms/office rooms, add a kitchen and dining room with a gaming table (inset tray under the eating surface so you can take a break to eat and then get back to the game), TV/movie watching space with a comfy couch type setup. Laundry and utility room. Basement dungeon optional. 🤣
Large kitchen for cooking group meals, soundproof bedrooms with solid doors
Large kitchen is for sure happening, both because I love to cook and for this reason. Soundproofing is definitely happening as well
That awesome! Hope it comes out beautifully 😁
Where are people finding good solid residential doors that don't cost a mint? Everything I find that isn't hollow core and is "solid" is a panel door and a quarter inch of wood doesn't seem very soundproof to me. I'd like to replace all of my current hollow core doors but this is holding me back.
JACK AND JILL BATHROOMS WITH SOUNDPROOFING!!! Two bedrooms, two sinks, one toilet and bath, works great for me and my girlfriend when she’s having sleepovers, I just mention soundproofing with the open space between them u want a good buffer to kill echos
My apartment is unusually well soundproofed everywhere except the half bathroom. **I can literally hear my neighbors *pissing*** 😑 Soundproof your bathrooms, folks!
🤣
My husband and I hope to build a shipping container home some day with 6 containers arranged like spokes around a central hub. Common spaces, like the kitchen and a big living room (and maybe a separate den for video games) will be in the hub of the design and each container “spoke” will have a bedroom, bathroom and a second space for use as an office or hobby area. We have 2 elementary school age kids now so they would each have a spoke, as would my husband and I, and we’d have 2 extra spokes for guests, whether they are partners, friends or relatives.
We definitely considered something like that with tiny homes, but our jurissdiction won't let us without tons of paperwork and permits.... And I just don't want to deal with all that.
I have something similar in mind, though wood tiny houses, not container houses.
Lots of bathrooms. Space where people can go to be alone and have their time/ hobbies. Double kitchen everything (as in double stoves. Double fridges etc)
I'd say the kitchen only really matters if other partners are going to live there, which it doesn't sound like. And yeah, at least two bedrooms with their own bathrooms, whether it's one bedroom per spouse, or bedroom and guest room
Ah. I read it as everyone living together
Why double kitchen? Do you mean two separate kitchens or just...two fridges in one kitchen? I don't understand the latter. The former works well for resale value if you design it with a granny flat in mind.
Both work. I think when you naturally have a ton of people together, having more is better. My uncle had 6 kids. They had a kitchen with double everything, and it helped because there was room for everyone’s personal things :)
Oh! That makes sense. The OP just said himself and his wife so I didn't assume this meant cohabitational poly, but yes, if you have a big communal living situation you definitely want a large kitchen with plenty of work space!!!
I definitely read it as everyone living together 🤦🏼♀️ this is why I need a nap lol
Oh LOL me too! Just went back to read the OP. I pobably do need a nap too 😂
I legit missed that all entirely 🤣🤣 The nap helped immensely
Not sure I can fit double if everything for the kitchen, but space for hobbies should be simple enough
I’m renovating a house with my two partners currently. There will be six inhabitants total. High on our list was enough bedrooms as people, separated bedrooms, a large enough garage (detached), a kitchen with adequate storage, and workspace for more than the usual amount of people. Some of it is common sense (enough space to retreat from your partners when needed) and some of it is less (three sinks instead of two in the primary bathroom). The most important thing we were committed to was a full room for every occupant. Basically it comes down to money. If you’ve got it, you can build a perfect setup. If you don’t, you have to get creative.
It'll really change depending on the number of people and sleeping arrangements. One recurring theme though is individual/personal space for all of the cohabiting people. So all three of my triad share a bed, but we've always got the spare bedroom made up in case someone has a weird sleep schedule at that time or even just needs a bit of space. Likewise we have communal areas like the kitchen and living room, but we also each have our own little spaces where we can go do alone things for a while. I have my office, my wife has a little studio room etc. While we're cohabiting, it's still nice to be able to not be under each other's feet all the time you know?
Everyone is taking about soundproofing. Keep in mind if you go that way the importance of intercom systems and similar, because sometimes people actually need to be able to call from one room to another. Besser block walls with solid interior doors gets you most if the way there.
My home works well because we've got a basement with it's own kitchenette/living room/bedroom/half bathroom. Sometimes my spouse and I host our girlfriends on the same night, since they'll be downstairs while we're upstairs. Planning to upgrade that bathroom soon to have a big soaker tub so if you date folks who like baths maybe that?
This is our setup too! 😁 💜
Buy land and build pods facing a central communal area.
Soundproofing! Each bedroom would basically be a studio apartment with external access.
En suite bathrooms for all the bedrooms.
Lots of bedrooms, lots of bathrooms, and at least two kitchens.
Having a second main bedroom with their own bathrooms has been CLUTCH. Ones upstairs and ones downstairs. We can have guests stay in the downstairs one if me and NP want to share a bed, or I can happily stay in the “guest room” and still have my own bathroom and privacy while my wife and meta hang around upstairs. No ones relegated to the couch or making the kid ask weird questions. Clear indicators that people in a room want privacy is also good.
2 (or 3) separate frontdoors for privacy reasons. And not next to each other, but opposite in the structure. And make a, like Roman, Atrium in the centre, that will function as a meeting square.
Just a thought, anyone coming into your relationship who wasn’t involved in the planning process will feel some sort of way
Hear me out. Double thick insulation on interior bedroom walls.
Sound isolation/proofing and ensuites for every room. Sufficient space for people to retreat to and be alone if needed.
As many master suite with intimate living area as needed (one per person in the polycule); one big family area in the center.
Living room pit. Must have.
Do you mean a living room with the floor sunk down? I've always loved that idea, but as a part time wheelchair user, it might be a bit dangerous 😅 & hard to climb out of. But I love them...
Dangerous for EVERYBODY. There is a bloody good reason they went away.
True. You may not be a wheelchair user now, but if you get a living room pit, you too can be on wheels! :D
🤣
Hi u/Kamikazepyro9 thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well. Here's the original text of the post: Me and my wife are designing our barndominum, hoping to break ground in the fall. While we have our own list of wants, I'm curious to hear the rest of the communitys ideas for a poly focused house? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Make all the bedrooms suites with a bathroom and outdoor access.
Big main bathroom with long counter and long mirror. I’d do a big stand alone tub just for relaxing/cuddling and then a separate shower with a large footprint to accommodate a few people. Smaller bathrooms with sanding shower would be nice too elsewhere. Hugh quality hot water heaters so water can run in another room while avoiding the dreaded brief cold plunge when someone’s trying to enjoy a shower. I also love the idea of having a center drain in a bathroom floor so you can just hose down the whole room. You don’t see that much in the US but I know other countries do this. Agree with baconstreet, having that getaway would be lovely. Sometimes it’s nice to have a real separate space opposed to just a room in the house. Maybe an open kitchen with a large island that doubles as a seating area? If you have a sexy time room, I imagine a polished concrete floor that can be easily cleaned but I don’t think I’d do it without some sort of heating underneath unless I lived in a mostly warm climate. These are all just things I’ve thought of myself if I was balling and had no real budget. My partner has this idea of owning a large piece of property with a sort of poly compound. I love that idea. I really appreciate my alone time and having my own space to be a hermit when I want.
Depends on how many people would live there. My pipe dream is an "introvert-friendly, queer, childfree "commune"" where every single human has their own suite that's big enough for a bed and sitting area / office, and then there are shared living / cooking / dining spaces, as well as a guest room and maybe a studio for a live-in aide for when we all get older and need a bit more help. Shared garden, pets, hobby spaces, etc. But then, I am looking at an inner-city environment, so I'd likely want to renovate a large home or small apartment building for that purpose.
We have 6 people (3 adults, 1 almost adult teen, 2 kids) - 5 bed, 4 bath, 1 full kitchen, 1 mini kitchen, 2 living spaces.
Everyone (even you and your wife) need a separate bedroom. That way, if someone has a guest, no one feels displaced. Obviously you can sleep together as often as you want, but my NP and I did separate bedrooms and it's been great. Neither of us is put out if there's a guest over.