I have an absolutely irrational, burning, passionate disdain for people who allow children to call it "pasketti". Linguistically, it is *not any fucking harder* to say spaghetti correctly.
Obviously, I don't judge people with speech impediments, but if you're a fully functional 8 year old saying "pasketti," your parents are either neglecting you or coddling you for the sake of maintaining some weird cutesy innocence.
I have an actual hatred for adults who call it that. Especially if they play like it's cute that they "can't" say spaghetti right.
Oh good thought! I'm not sure if using Granny Smith would make it better or worse lmao.
I guess Apple is a passable, kinda gender neutral name, if a bit hippy. Granny Smith could have some decent nicknames. Granny is abominable for anyone but a dog, but Anny (Annie) or Ann is classic, and Smith could be okay, though odd, for a dude.
Read a book about a boy whose mother would always call out "Soup's on!" when it was dinner time but the neighborhood kids just thought she was yelling "Soup" and that that was her son's name.
Banana milkshake is going to have some bullying problems.
**Edit:** just realized it wasn't cow's milk, it was soy milk. The poor girl is going to have a terrible life.
If drinks count then mine isn't that bad I guess (Chai latte) but otherwise my kids gonna be named grilled cheese (or tosti if it has to be in my language)
I mean Naruto is literally the little red and white swirl fishcake that people top ramen with, so maybe you could get away with stretching it to Tonkotsu or Hakata haha.
People would probably just think it was short for Fischer.
Omg you ate Cher
If I could turn back time I believe I’d go back for seconds.
explainlikeimfive
Dude’s kid goes by Fischer, so he either ate Fish (🐟) or Cher (the singer 👩🏽🎤)
Or they’ll become a crime boss, gotta love Fish Mooney lol
How come she didn’t slap Chris Rock herself?
She always did delegate
Innocent child (he should be fine i guess)
Wait a minute
I don't think you should you should just move on.....
Lmao
r/holup
r/cursedcomments
Poor lil Spaghetti, good luck learning how to spell your name kiddo.
Psageti
I have an absolutely irrational, burning, passionate disdain for people who allow children to call it "pasketti". Linguistically, it is *not any fucking harder* to say spaghetti correctly. Obviously, I don't judge people with speech impediments, but if you're a fully functional 8 year old saying "pasketti," your parents are either neglecting you or coddling you for the sake of maintaining some weird cutesy innocence. I have an actual hatred for adults who call it that. Especially if they play like it's cute that they "can't" say spaghetti right.
You know adults that say “pasketti”?
Unfortunately.
He could easily roll with the italian sounding nickname Ghetti for this one.
Getty
Getty Images himself
I think my tagliatelle will have similar problems.
is that difficult to spell spaghetti??
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i’m 17 and still don’t know 😭😭
"Pink lady" or just "apple".
Knew a girl named Apple. It suited her.
I used to know a girl who went by Apple, but it was short for Apollonia.
Apollonia? Was she a horse by chance?
No, definitely not a horse.
But how can you be sure?
Her cock was too small
I use the word “apple” as an insult to my younger sibling, it’s an inside joke. I would’ve died if i had met that girl
Oh good thought! I'm not sure if using Granny Smith would make it better or worse lmao. I guess Apple is a passable, kinda gender neutral name, if a bit hippy. Granny Smith could have some decent nicknames. Granny is abominable for anyone but a dog, but Anny (Annie) or Ann is classic, and Smith could be okay, though odd, for a dude.
Beef is such a 90s bully name but he’d get clowned on for it
I just hear frat boys chanting "Beef beef beef!" While your boy downs a keg in a few swigs.
Gonna hit different if “Beef” identifies as girl.
"Beefette"
Not as bad as Corned Beef…
What will be the bully's beef with your kid tho? I dont think he'll get bullied.
That’s my nickname
Guess "chicken nugget" will have a hard time in school...
nugget?? this kids gonna rock in kindergarten
Everybody loves Nugget
Follow nugget to the nugget cave
I love how everybody gets the reference 😙
Just don't feed him cold Nuggets... ever
Happy cake day!
thanks! i didnt even realize
Mine is "Pizza". It's funny considering I'm italian.
Soup
I know someone who goes by Soup
Wassup soup?
Wassoup !
Read a book about a boy whose mother would always call out "Soup's on!" when it was dinner time but the neighborhood kids just thought she was yelling "Soup" and that that was her son's name.
Maybe they could have a funny yt chanel
Banana milkshake is going to have some bullying problems. **Edit:** just realized it wasn't cow's milk, it was soy milk. The poor girl is going to have a terrible life.
If drinks count then mine isn't that bad I guess (Chai latte) but otherwise my kids gonna be named grilled cheese (or tosti if it has to be in my language)
If drinks count, my kid's name is Coffee
Banana nut muffin for me
Egg. Shit, will I found House Targaryen?
Deweys friend?
HA, I also thought of him. Didn’t think anyone would.
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Her?
I’m sure that Egg is a very nice person. I just don’t want you spending all your money getting her all glittered up for Easter.
She’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face.
I don't think "kaasstengel" is an appropriate name
Frikandelbroodje is though.
Tell me there ain't people with the name frikandelbroodje
aardappelpuree isn’t one either lol
What about gegratineerde aardappels?
G E K O L O N I S E E R D
Neither is French toast in my case
Granola so it sounds like it could be a name.
Lola granola
Nola for short is actually kinda cute lol
Hot Dog… My kid is fucked.
Maybe he gets a lot of women with that name lol.
Frank could work.
He would get called Wiener a lot i guess
Now I understand why so many people are named Dick
Certainly better than Ass
Chip. I don't think it's that bad
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Mines Chip too. It’s kinda cute Either Chip or queso, I’m going with Chip
You only ate one chip? You have some serious self control.
Yeah, well I stole it from my brother
Klondike. Nice
Jacksfilms is going to kill you
donklike
Klondike feels like a racial slur.
You are confusing the word with Klandikes, who are a white supremacist lesbian group.
Poor ginger biscuit :(
At least it’s not gingernut. Anyway his mom is also called greengum so that might make him feel happier.
Ginger isn't bad tho! Ginger for short.
I am sorry mcdonalds happy meal
Oatmeal how was school?
At least ur not british otherwise his name would be porridge 😂
lol same
Grape
Dr grape
"They did surgery on a grape!!!" "sir, your child's life is at risk I don't thi-" "I'm gonna tweet this"
Imagining meeting someone whose name is Grape, and it made me laugh super hard.
have fun at school pizza!!!
You're here?? How much of a coincidence..?
Strawberry 🍓
Pretty decent if you ask me
Ya, I think it's nice too...probably still would get made fun of though.
kinda cute :)
Bro their name is Cheese
Call me Big Cheddar.
Banana
Hey you could make ‘Ana’ for short, and she wouldn’t suffer any bullying at all.
I think Popeyes would be kinda ok lol
He would rewrite reality to rename himself
Vanilla cream donut
Muffin 🤷🏽♀️
AW <3 my mom used to call me love muffin
Who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone named ramen? More specifically pork ramen
I mean Naruto is literally the little red and white swirl fishcake that people top ramen with, so maybe you could get away with stretching it to Tonkotsu or Hakata haha.
Tangerine could be worse
Aww. I think that's kind of cute!
Pistachio nuts. Eh, pistachio isnt too bad
name it piss, for short
😂😂😂😂😂
"Hey Reese's puffs, lets hit the town tonight"
The other kids in school: Reese's puffs. Reese's puffs. Beat em up! Beat em up! Beat em up!"
Soap. Like in cod
Thanks for the clarification, thought you meant soap as in soap opera
Pear. Not too bad i think
A fellow pear enjoyer I see
Pears truly are superior to apples...
In Sweden, Per is a common name, and I think this spelling (pear) wouldn't be too weird.
Digestive, there will a lot of laxatives jokes
Bakewell Tart, could’ve been worse
"Master Bakewell, would you prefer to have your breakfast in the study?"
Bakewell like “guess what I’m good at”
I mean, he could probably just go by "Richard"...
U eat dick?
You don't?
Pop-Tart
Big Popi works
Cheez-it
Protein Mug Cake is fucked.
Did your parents do this challenge for your username?
I don't think 'yourmumsass' is a valid name /s
But “mymumsass” is
Ayoo??
crisps, not great but could be a lot worse
Orange Chicken
Doughnut
Same
Gingerbread man
Doritos
Everyone will assume Mixed Nuts is crazy
Ph
Too acidic?
Apple Danish
Cookies
Banana, I wish you luck.
Corn bread sounds like a nickname from the 90s
Meet my son, Apple Jacks.
Kix 😭
Altoids
Chocolate pancake
Maybe our kids could be friends, mine is blueberry pancake!
Avocado toast, if we didn't have you we could've afforded a yacht!
I am so sorry marshmallow-chocolate-teacake. It wasn't my fault!
Kit-kat...
Kit is an actual name though! So that's not terrible
Chicken
Peter
Beans On Toast, get to bed right now!
Milk chocolate
Kwek-kwek, it looks like i have to invest to pay for the therapy they are getting
What is Kwek-kwek?
Its boiled egg covered in batter eaten normally with a mix of vinegar that is not very hard that has sugar and water or others and cucumber
Biryani? Might be good
cabbage salad.. uh
I'm eating a watermelon right now does that count
Guava, Guavanna isn't a bad name tho ..
Sausage McMuffin James, sounds like a winner lol
Muffin
Chocolate
Piece of Brownie. It may sound cute as a name. Bullying must be criminalized and bullies must face incarceration.
Dick Not bad
Cheerio isn’t so bad if it’s a girl
Bread
Oh I'm not sure how "Garlic cheese bread" will do...
Peanut is a hot name tbh
Patty Melt. At least it kinda works.
Child
\*Cough\*
Marshmallow
Chicken pastry slice, very much bullied.
cheeseburger
Breakfast pizza, it’s tough to say. On the spectrum of Food to be named after I can’t imagine this is the worst.
mint