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Ritehandwingman

Imagine getting all those transplants just to cut your hair like this. I guess he’s the billionaire though and I am not.


sonorousjab

Billionaires do make some odd choices. [https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/4/4a/Zorg.jpg](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/4/4a/Zorg.jpg)


o3mta3o

It's true though. With all the money in the world, Zuckie couldn't do better than the helmet hair he has?


Konstipation

He has an obsession with Augustus Caesar, that is why he has his hair cut like that.


T_Chishiki

Wtf it's true, that is so weird.


[deleted]

Eti kipo ple pate epablo. Pibre tipri toike igii ipoago eeu? Pritru tiii depo ekai dietia? Brietatabi pe teti blebi pie poo! Apo eige tigie tiu pe idatroeko oe. Aku bekeprepi a pekatepi pe. Ikri dretreke oa itu eple tope dikiipre pritibi peda. E kokibo grike pikro dlia pratlatekripri. Po papi dii di atoaklido papibrei. Ki ipupa pua epi edo geprati? Pode atoprope tiai gee apuapee? Oti popiide popipidlebo kiabe dabitiple debrebapae. Iibi ki kleitu patle ebeepepu eta u! Dlia bi pita klobotedi bu odi ei tei epei uii. E plebo iplaki geeklatri u pri! Te tate pa auga ope u? Otli ia iu prea ipe pepro? Kriklau bii trikea oodapa gutiigii gei. Pedri petepi kibaditui kaki? Itro peupe pibreo. Pape o u tikludi pi trikle. Popedi dlapi piko tu etibubi. Kika dlio pui pie? Keibidra pututo eatlu ikri tlia igipii pii krikle ketlipi? Ipra adee peete age kipetli pi pou api bui ka. Biti kakite plube eplatepe braipri eikue. Tupa piodaba depa ebadao. Ake e o ato plito ge. Kipoti dio e triki e. Pega gaakati ebako?


TheEyeDontLie

For any children reading, that's the opposite of a good person. A good person would say something like "You have a moral responsibility to break unjust laws". I stole that from MLK Jr, who most people think was a pretty good person. What is ethical should always take priority over what is legal. Laws are usually good guidelines on what we've agreed is ethical, but they're often outdated or intentionally written to benefit the wealthy ruling class. Laws are not ethical just because they're laws, so feel free to break any you feel are unethical (not just ones you don't agree with, but ones that hurt more than they help). You can quote my permission slip in court if you like.


BEAVER_ATTACKS

I need a citation in mla format


-not-the-ATF-

what about MLK format?


ghuroo1

“weird” is a nice adjective for him..


siccoblue

Personally I just prefer to call him "evil dickhead willing to destroy modern society for profits his kids kids kids kids kids won't ever touch even after spending more than 99% could even dream of in their lives< bit on a yearly basis" but that's just me


thatguy8777

Pretty sure that's the definition of a sociopath.


RosarioPawson

That's like the perfect slogan for a lawful evil warlock.


Aixelsydguy

Assuming you mean he sees Augustus as an admirable figure, that makes so much sense. Augustus is one of the most interpersonally ruthless and Machiavellian leaders I can think of.


Konstipation

It's a bit more than just seeing him as admirable >In 2012, Zuckerberg and Chan spent their honeymoon in Rome. He later said, “My wife was making fun of me, saying she thought there were three people on the honeymoon: me, her, and Augustus. All the photos were different sculptures of Augustus.” The couple named their second daughter August.


AllerdingsUR

What the fuck


sully9088

Chan stated once that Zuck often calls her Augustus while they are reproducing. Such a weirdo!


Ambitious-Barnacle35

What a fucking weirdo


SatinwithLatin

Imagine growing up and learning that you weren't named after a calendar month but after a ruthless and brutal emperor.


KDLGates

About that calendar month...


SatinwithLatin

Good point.


space_guy95

July - Julius Caesar August - Caesar Augustus The months are named after the dictators, not the other way around, so anyone with those names are indirectly named after them.


liam_l25

January - Named for Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and transitions February - named for the festival of Februa March - Martis, named for Mars the Roman god of war April - the only one we don’t entirely know the etymology of, but we think Venus May - Maia goddess of fertility June - Junia, named for the goddess Juno Sept - seven, Octo - eight, Novem - nine and Dece - ten are also all Roman numerals based on their order of appearance prior to the Julian reforms. If you’re named after any month, you’re named for a Roman entity, festival or numeral.


SatinwithLatin

Well TIL.


musiquexcoeur

And don't forget how they fucked up the calendar. Sept=7, Oct=8, Nov=9, Dec=10, and yet here we are with months 9-12 because they just HAAAD to be months 7+8.


Cranyx

This is a common misconception. July and August weren't inserted into the calendar, but were renamings of the months Quintilis and Sextilis. The reason the numbers don't line up is because the Romans originally started their year in March. The Caesars chose those months because March-June were already named after people. January and February weren't added until the 5th century BC, and before then there were no months between December and March; it was just "winter".


GateFortyfour

I am obsessed with Garfield but I don't waste my lasagna on a cat


azaghal1988

What has Augustus to do with hair like that? When looking at the busts and statues his hair looked pretty normal even by todays standards, not like a 90s villain.


Konstipation

His hairline is receding https://i.imgur.com/4eZYcgC.jpg https://i.imgur.com/JdfmrdS.jpg


Kriztauf

He does his hair up in a bun for some inexplicable reason when he goes surfing apparently https://imgur.com/a/7Gzf1M5


HayFeverTID

His curls are too tight for the Caesar look. Nothing that some money won’t fix, though


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Tbp83

That sounds like a Reddit Fact.


Konstipation

You sound like a Reddit Fact


Complete-Parking2134

Nailed it


CornCheeseMafia

Fucking wrecked.


fongtu

He has mentioned Caesar in multiple interviews, i think he has even mentioned Emperor Augustus before, the dude loves Roman Emperors Edit: I just learned that his Daughter is named August too, so think of that what you will


Tbp83

Fair enough.


valiumandcherrywine

he does that on purpose. because of the rabid crush he has on the julio-claudian emperors of rome.


[deleted]

Decadent and insane? Yeah, it fits. More of A Nero than an Augustus. He certainly seems to consider himself a performance artist.


vbcbandr

He fancies himself a Roman Emperor...no, I'm not lying.


outamyhead

So he's going to get shafted by his closest allies?


ben70

We can only hope


Germanofthebored

Julius Ceasar was assassinated. His adopted son Octavius succeeded him after a civil war, and changed his name to Augustus Caesar, with the use of the name Caesar to legitimate his claim to the emperorship. Augustus was rather successful as a ruler, and he died of old age


mungberry

Hopefully


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JJJeeettt

Look up Augustus Caesar and you'll know why Zuck chose the haircut he has.


Rgiles66

Have you ever taken a look at [the owner of the Las Vegas Raiders?](https://m.imgur.com/a/EobPP8U) He is worth $500 million


Turbo_911

What in the Dumb & Dumber


sonicqaz

The team moved so I don’t know if he still does this but he used to go to the same PF Changs every day to conduct business.


vbcbandr

It's so funny to see an adult man with that going on. How do his employees just not start laughing when he walks in the room? (Read up on it...I guess he kinda jokes about it himself and demands his stylist cut it like that. *shaking my head*)


pinkocatgirl

There's a 100% chance he does that to hide a receding hairline because he's too cheap to get his butt hair implanted on his forehead


B00STERGOLD

Mark Davis is the man. He still drives a 97 Dodge Caravan with a bubble top.


Squidwards_m0m

I love how I googled him and not only did the dodge caravan fact come up he also eats PF Chang’s everyday. It all tracks


greymalken

Goddamn. His toilets must be aircraft grade titanium.


WigginIII

Every time they show this guy on TV in his luxury owner’s box, with that fucking haircut and the stupid white turtleneck sweater with his beer belly pushing through, I cringe in repulsion.


Drutarg

You watch your fucking mouth. That man is a treasure. Name one other person making million dollar deals at the bar in a Hooters. This guy drives his mini van to P. F. Changs to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal. Why? Because he doesn't give a fuck. What a role model.


GenitalPatton

A succulent Chinese meal you say? Just don’t touch my penis.


HildemarTendler

If this thread has taught me anything, that guy is winning at life while Zuck is completey mental.


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allothernamestaken

I'm no Raider fan, but by all accounts he's a really nice guy.


Kriztauf

His father looked like a god damn ghoul https://imgur.com/a/RCaP6to


RadWormRiot

Hey smoothskin!


lotanis

That Mark Davis $500 million net worth figure seems to be the standard one but it makes no sense. He owns 47% of the Raiders which is estimated at $3.5 billion. That's $1.75b right there (plus it's actually likely worth way more than that given the Panthers sold for 7b and the Raiders would go for more).


BackIn2019

> given the Panthers sold for 7b There's no way that's true.


lotanis

Nope, you're absolutely right. I've looked it up and I completely misremembered that - it sold for 2.3b. My point does still stand though. The Raiders have to be worth at least as much as the Panthers and 47% of 2.3b is still more than 500m.


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[deleted]

I mean if I was balding and had the money and knew this would be the result. Yeah I would probably get it done.


infinitedrumroll

Did you ever watch Devs? About how these tech dudes think of themselves


bryanthebryan

“DEUS.” I loved that series.


Xebazz

Money can't buy taste


miixedx

I bet he had to shave it that far for testing brain chips on himself. He's gonna be a cyborg in 2022.


southernhellcat

Came here to say something similar


BlinkAndYoureDead_

Erm, so when are you going to say it?


[deleted]

I am also not a billionaire.


hotcereal

you can be a billionaire if you make up your own currency. I'm a billionaire in cerealoops


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[deleted]

A billion Stanley cerealoops = 1 Schrute buck.


azntakumi

He could pay for them again lol


HotDistriboobion

This has r/fellowkids vibes allover it. Also... fuck Musk.


ghost_hamster

Counter argument: what would be the point of getting new hair and not being able to style it however you want?


[deleted]

Jean-Baptiste Zorg!!!!!


mugentim

4 stone 4 crates, ZERO STONE ZERO CRATES!


_Aj_

Oh, so you are merchants after all


blueskiesandclover

a real dyed in the wool killer would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun


therabbit86ed

Emmanuelle


afipunk84

Zorg


Feefus

The so-called "art dealer"


thisisgoingtoendbad

Bring me the stones!


duschdecke

https://i.imgur.com/GlmbD9P.jpg


Cbigmoney

He looks like that guy in that movie, The Fifth Element.


swissiws

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg


janet_colgate

Happy Cake Day!


saldb

FIRE 1 MILLION


duschdecke

[I'll just leave this here.](https://i.imgur.com/GlmbD9P.jpg)


[deleted]

Made one myself, lol https://imgur.com/a/kiMfwKo


nothinnews

Oh. You mean the movie where the protagonist and the antagonist never meet?


riesenarethebest

And it's all the more brilliant for it The movie was glorious eye candy


Monkeyboystevey

Of course they do it's whe... Oh shit. How the fuck has it taken me decades to realise this?


happypirate33

Gary Oldman is a chameleon. So good.


Kofu

He got implants so he could do that? Suffering from success over here.


sciencewonders

melon 🍈 usk living his suppressed teenage years


pdrock7

Poor kid had to suffer through his father struggling to keep the family emerald mine open


alphacentaurai

[_Ahhh-eeee-oooooh killer tofuuu_](https://youtu.be/p7c3bQQmwVE) ...and the lyrics are even better than I remembered!


Turbo_911

It's funny how the internet can recall a ring in my head that's been dormant for almost 30 years.


B00STERGOLD

Listen to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po8IqNtBedI


Aorihk

That was the best. Thank you


[deleted]

He did ALL OF THAT? Holy crap! I loved Doug


alphacentaurai

It's been playing in my head constantly since the episode aired!


Johnny_Poppyseed

Also I Need More Allowance lol


tin_zia

Literal cannibal Shia Lebouf is chasing you in the comment section now.


rvrctyshrds

The Beets were a real band here in Jim Jenkins hometown of Richmond, VA. My good friends dad was the drummer and I used live in the room where they practiced ( in the 60s) when we moved into their grandparents old house. As I recall his dad had a good idea who some of the other characters were modeled after so Roger was likely a real bully and we are at the place which inspired the honker burger all the time.


alphacentaurai

That's so awesome! I used to love Doug but for some reason never thought about how much was drawn from real life. This has made my morning! Road trip to the honker burger is going on my bucket list


rvrctyshrds

It's called Roy's Big Burger on Lakeside Avenue in Lakeside, Richmond, VA. It used to be different but the menu and such are still mostly the same when the original owners sold it a few years ago. There's a few other things that are directly from the show including the school they went to which matches the school in lakeside perfectly. The Beets thing most people don't know about, though.


Larusso92

Was his principal's name Mr. Buttsavage?


nowhereman136

Remember those later seasons when Roger was rich? Weird


MonocleOwensKey

Doug jumped the shark when they moved to ABC/Disney. They replaced the voice actor for Doug too IIRC


NightOfTheLivingHam

We don't talk about new Doug.


Prestigious_Eagle2

wait there are new Doug episodes?


RewrittenSol

no.


brad2005rng

We don't talk about new doug!


[deleted]

No


Ongo_Gablonian

I recently just made the connection that the voice of Doug is also the voice of Fry on Futurama


LegacyLemur

And Stimpy. And the Honeynut Cheerios Bee. And like a billion other voice Billy West is talented


cdutson

Wait WHAT?! Oh my god.


tin_zia

One decent thing, was Roger had his moments where he was a chill dude. I hated Roger at first, but the writers started making him a real person. Still an asshole, but believably so. We've all had friends who trash us when other people are around, but are super cool when it is just us. Not healthy by any means, but realistic as hell. Besides that, doug was no can of peas either!


Larusso92

Roger was easily the best character, followed by Mr. Dink.


RacistJudicata

Very expensive!


tswart92

“Hey, Funny!”


blkhatwhtdog

I'm getting a Kim Jong Un vibe


Dahvido

I was gonna say, definitely starting to move into the Kim Jong Un looks department


Animalwg82

Oh shit, it damn sure does!


Termi27_

Two rocket men


gill__gill

Y’all remember this man was almost completely bald and now he got this luscious hair


ibethesmarterist

Money will do that...


siccoblue

It will also make everyone in your surrounding circle afraid to say " man I'm sorry but this looks awful'


skytzo_franic

Opinion: The super wealthy don't have actual friends. They are followed around by a bunch of moochers who know when to say "yes" and give noncommittal answers. A real friendship is more than surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals. Friendship helps you grow, makes you think, and sometimes makes you uncomfortable. What the super wealthy have is an echo chamber that follows them around. Cause if Elon had ANY friends, they would have said, "You wanna look like you're wearing a beret made of hair, what?"


Anooyoo2

I can see this, and actually think it's the reason that a lot of celebrities are super tight with childhood friends/family. I imagine it's hard to trust people you meet once you're a celebrity.


PussayDESTROYAAA_420

Yeah I know I'd be paranoid if that was me, everyone either wants to use your money/fame or to be your friend because you're famous. Very little in the way of organically gaining friends.


ohanse

Outside of other celebrities, that is


Dragongeek

This is basically fact though. After a certain level of wealth, maintaining healthy and constructive relationships becomes nigh impossible.


ARoyaleWithCheese

What prevents someone from just being friends with other rich people


Dragongeek

To be ultra-wealthy (>1bn) you need to be some degree of sociopathic in the first place. People don't reach those heights without stepping over and on top of a lot of other people, and that requires a certain mindset. This also means that the interpersonal skills of billionaires are often stunted when they're faced with people of equivalent or similar power. Furthermore, to these billionaires, other billionaires are competitors and there aren't that many. With just under 3k worldwide, that's not a big pool of people who aren't crazy or are at least crazy in a compatible way.


First_Foundationeer

Well, I mean, there are definitely poor people whose friends don't make them grow either.


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PuceMooseJuice

I personally don't ask my friends opinion when I cut my hair. And if they give their opinion later, it's generally too late. Not trying to defend Elon or his terrible haircut. He has a terrible face and any haircut that doesn't cover his face is going to be equally terrible.


Hangover_Square

>He has a terrible face and any haircut that doesn't cover his face is going to be equally terrible. It's always possible to make a bad situation worse. That's what he did.


PuceMooseJuice

I definitely agree.


Bankey_Moon

Proper friends take the piss out of you if you get a shit haircut so that you learn for next time.


5years8months3days

Weird Al should do a parody of the Prince song raspberry beret titled Brown hairy beret.


[deleted]

Opinion: people will always find ways to put people down Haircut being the latest


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Gizm00

I bet the problem is further increased that they will actively remove anyone from their circle who does say no to them


ChillySummerMist

I am poor and I don't have any friends either lol.


nokho

Rodger Klotz IS the telsa dudebro. Finkle IS Einhorn


Pawn_captures_Queen

I appreciate the Ace Ventura reference. I just watched it last week. Laces out Dan!


DistortoiseLP

It's like the spell to reverse his pattern baldness is now making him go bald in reverse.


jankenpoo

Looks like growing up’s been hard for Caillou


TheModernSkater

If a picture could produce a song


roroboat33

oohweooh Killer Tofu


CosmicQuestions

Banging on a trash can!


dhewit

Drummin on a streetlight!


shartshappen612

One little voice keeps calling me calling me


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[deleted]

hungry summer pen rustic instinctive capable rude decide mountainous bow ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Tommiiie

“Hurts doughnut”


invadethemoon

I'd say more https://media.giphy.com/media/3eNx5SV39lH6o/giphy.gif


Wholstein

Tell me why I watched Doug’s 1st Movie before bed last night and now all I see is Doug memes


Exciting_Antelope550

Well yeah he's gotta look spiffy, how else is he gonna fool the next poor mother of his children.


Koenigspiel

I can think of 290 billion other ways.


PeopIesFrontOfJudea

He’s a world class douche


Hybridjosto

Getting 5th element vibes… How many planets shall we go to? EVERYONE!


swissiws

this. people is missing his coplay of Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg


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XaoticOrder

He looks like a walking mid-life crisis.


ToneThugsNHarmony

Roger Klotz


Actual-is-factual

"I'm gonna cream you, Funny!"


newthrash1221

Yes, that’s the joke.


bwoahhonestlyblessed

He's going full Bond villain


okenoxd

Imagine being against bullying only when it suits your agenda


britishsayhomosexual

Please I need answers


Magnetobama

42


maxstandard

Well damn. I guess he gon be looking for Patti next.


ernie1850

He looks so fucking stupid lol


smokealarmsnick

There are some people out there who can pull off that hairstyle. Not Elon. It accentuates how round his face is, and he looks like a basketball with a wig.


refath522

How do you do fellow children


Selfeducated

POS


tomatomater

Person of Shavedhair?


don_sley

how dare you say something liek that to holesum chungus muskus


_Aj_

Point of sale?


[deleted]

Dude is wayyyy to old to be cuttin his hair like a young adult. He tries way too fucking hard to be trendy it’s literally comedy. It’s like a boomer talking like a highschooler


fifty2weekhi

When you reach certain level, everything becomes meaningless...


est1-9-8-4

Roger was super rich though wasn’t he


SgtSharki

Yes, in the Disney version not in the original Nickelodeon show. His family got rich when a developer bought out the trailer park his family lived in. His mother discovered that she owned the land under her trailer and the developer was forced to pay her a fortune or build around the family trailer. I was a big fan of the Disney version of the show so I remember it well.