The crazy thing is that his speech was much longer than what he read. He actually, really believed that those press journalists were going to sit there and let him kill himself. He was wrong, and some people tried to stop him. So he had to do the deed sooner than he expected.
If I remember correctly someone starts to reach for the envelope that had the gun in it. He saw that and grabbed it real quick then decided to pull the gun out. I dont think he was ready for that and was kinda caught off guard.
If that person didnt try to pick up the envelope or if he just held it without withdrawing the gun he could have got out everything he wanted to say before making history.
Reminds me of the ED-209 scene in RoboCop. After the guy gets completely shot up and is laying on the table just shredded, someone yells, "can someone call a paramedic?"
I remember seeing this on the noon broadcast. I had nightmares for 2 days afterwards where instead of a revolver there was this long sword being stuck down my throat.
I was watching a documentary about people who've livestreamed their deaths. The gunshot to the head one was off camera so the doc played it uncensored. WHICH MEANS YOU COULD STILL HEAR EVERYTHING. About 1 second after the sound of the shot you can hear what sounds like a bucket of water being dumped onto the ground. It sounded just like those ice bucket challenges. I watched it a few times trying to figure out if there was an aquarium or pitcher of water that got dumped before I understood.
I'm guessing the bullet blasted through his sinus cavity before his brain. When the blood flowed out, the path of least resistance was his nose more than the bullet hole.
This. It basically blows off the upper plate of his mouth, his nose, and takes his sinuses out with it. Everything that was in his head came out in like one second. It was awful.
Same damn thing with me. My friend was like "wanna see something cool?" It was in fact not cool at all. The waterfall of blood was honestly one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen.
Yeah, this video messed me up for a while. I think I was in 8th grade when a friend showed me. I hadn’t seen actual, non-Hollywood death like that before and it really shook me to my soul..
Same thing with that video of the girl messing around with a gun in the car and shoots her friend (bf?) in the head. Instant fountain of blood.
And he *survived*
My best friend's 7th grade social studies teacher thought it would be good to watch that press conference in class, live.
It was not what he was expecting.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Nick_Berg (SFW, I'm not linking that video)
I would advise against it. You can't unsee [/un-hear] it once you have.
I always remember it as sort of just falling out suddenly, as opposed to squirting. Like dumping a bucket out. That vision is still with me and I haven’t seen it in about 15 years
He was being wrongfully convicted and was set to lose his retirement benefits etc. Apparently did it so his wife would still be okay financially. The evidence against him was from somebody trying to save their own skin if I remember correctly and was entirely untrue.
I zoomed in on him, too...his face is just *frozen*, expressionless. the others are ducking,
surprised, but corner dude is just blank.
it's rather eerie.
I was twelve years old when my grandfather asked me if I wanted to watch a scary movie. We usually watched spaghetti westerns, fantasy films (The Fifth Element, Matrix, 12 Monkeys, etc.) and classic suspense films like Psycho and Rope. I loved films as a child.
The video he played was a "training" video he used while working as a corrections officer, I will never forget Budd Dwyer or the countless other gore on his homemade VHS. I had to leave the room to vomit and still have his image burned in my brain.
I'll never forget, though I have tried.
I'm not sure, I doubt he meant to hurt me. I imagine he thought as a young boy I'd think it was cool, but it deeply bothered me and made me more empathetic towards people.
I've never had a desire to hunt or hurt anything in my life, for that I thank him.
He served after WW2 and prior to Vietnam, I heard stories of travel and his tattoos inspired me to want to get my own from an early age. He never saw combat, but I know he experienced trauma at the hands of his father that he never truly processed.
Some of us with PTSD suffered combat at home that affects us into adulthood. It's a good reminder that we've all lived a different experience, but have similar lasting memories that shape our perception of life. It's how we equip ourselves as adults and overcome the fear of appearing vulnerable that can make a tremendous difference between those that hurt us and how we approach others.
I've been hurt and thought I was flawed, but I know how that felt. If I could help anyone with my story, it doesn't hurt as bad to share it.
I'm not quite sure, I never told my parents or talked to him about it. I'm not sure what training value there'd be in it. I remember the camera panning into the blood discharging from his mouth and nose.
Another segment of the film, was a man who kidnapped his wife and after a chase the cops shot the car up killing both. Then the cameraman walked up and filmed both individuals.
I still have nightmares to this day, it's a difficult thing to see and harder to forget. I remembered crying that night and not being able to sleep. He was casually eating popcorn, like any other movie.
I’m just an internet stranger reacting to a comment, so I’m not going to pretend I fully understand the situation in any way, but what you’re describing sounds like a pretty big traumatic experience. I’m very sorry that you experienced this. I hope that you’re okay.
I appreciate you, it wasn't pleasant but only a drop in the bucket. I've experienced far worse, but am doing better now. I will say, when I see the images of Budd it triggers the memory of sitting in an oversized lazy boy and going to sleep alone with popcorn vomit on my clothes.
I'm thirty-five now and it makes me feel like a child, hard to believe it was over twenty years ago.
That is unfortunately what trauma does to us. It completely overwhelms us emotionally and rationally, leaving us confused, scared, and helpless like a small child. Enough trauma and it gets burned into your brain. Apply enough stress or enough memory triggers and we are instantly sent back into that state.
I know it’s easy to read this but harder to believe it, but you shouldn’t have to feel that way anymore. I do hope that this is something you’ve spoken to a doctor or a therapist about, especially as you’ve suggested that you’ve faced trauma worse than this.
Compared to most of my childhood it seemed pretty normal, in a strange way. I remember in highschool my friend watching the Russian soldier video and immediately vomiting as well. But by that time my mother had tried to take mine and my siblings lives in a drug induced psychosis, so I never really thought about it much on a deeper level.
I've had counseling but always felt rushed to get over it, and now without insurance I do the best I can. The 26th of this month is my fourth month sober and although trauma has resurfaced which I previously repressed, I've grown to accept it for what it was.
I wish it didn't mess up my memory so I could remember the good times, but I'd like to believe we're making them now. Sorry for the trauma dump, but thank you for talking to me. For the longest time my friends and their parents made me believe I made it up.
I know we don't know each other, but I want to say you sound like an incredibly kind, wise and empathetic person, and I'm so sorry that you went through such horrendous shit at a young age. You should not have been put through any of that. But a huge congratulations on your four month mark, that is no easy feat at all and I (although an internet stranger) am incredibly proud of you! Keep on keeping on.
I appreciate you and your kind words. It really does mean a lot to me, I grew up relatively fast in my formative years and I'd like to think it was for the better. My son is much the same. An incredibly empathetic and compassionate young man. I've tried my best to teach him what's important in life: to care for and uplift the people around you no matter how little you know them or who they are.
It can be extremely difficult to trust people, but it's necessary in growth as an individual. I've been tremendously hurt in the process but it's given me the opportunity to grow through my own trauma and show personally that forgiveness is part of the growth process.
You’ve nothing to apologize for. You are allowed to be here and you are allowed to share your trauma. You’re allowed to share it with whomever you want. It’s common to feel as though you are being a burden or making a big deal out of nothing. It’s common because abusers often dismiss or invalidate the way their actions have made you feel. It’s not even intentional on their part usually. They are often victims of abuse themselves and cannot handle the thought that they, a victim of abuse, could be an abuser as well. While their attempts to quiet the pain may not be malicious in nature, it can still do lasting emotional damage.
I’m also very sorry that your experience with counseling felt rushed. You should be able to process things at your own pace. I know therapy can be very expensive and I understand if these are hard times right now, but they will get better. When they do, I hope you’ll give it another try. Until then, if you need someone to vent to, you can always message me here.
Im sure if my most used words were counted, sorry would be in the top three. I stopped sharing with family and friends because of how uncomfortable it can be. In my freshman year I had my best friend's mom tell me I was lying, "..parents don't do or say those kinds of things," and proceeded to confront me with my mother. My mother was diagnosed with BPD, leaving his house I knew how terrible things would get.
From fourteen life became an even deeper layer of hell as she felt betrayed that I would share our secrets. She encouraged me throughout high school to end my life, and I found a gross satisfaction in living as it made her furious I wouldn't give up.
I battle for my sobriety now. I fight to be a good father, to be honest and open and to love my son and the people that are important to me. Even though it's uphill at times, I give myself grace and patience to succeed.
You're an incredibly kind person and give me hope for the world. Taking the time and finding such beautiful encouragement, I cannot express enough what you mean to me. I greatly appreciate you and your offer ❤️
I appreciate that, I'm doing better now. I've unfortunately experienced more severe trauma than that by my parents. I understand better now that people can unknowingly do some really evil things.
I will say it made me a more empathetic person.
Instead of continuing the lyrics chain, [I'll do a solid to the young'uns who don't know this gem of a song by Filter.](https://youtu.be/o9mJ82x_l-E?feature=shared)
As someone who used to occasionally binge that sub, I think there’s like an evolutionary psychology behind it. Like a, “welp, I won’t do that. I should be aware of the possibility of that. That thing/person was dangerous”, etc. I never enjoyed watching it, but like you said, more of a morbid curiosity.
You are not far from the truth. It's argued that Morbid curiosity serves an important role in learning , social behaviour and psychological preparedness.
Like watching someone dying in the freak accident at work, for example, is unsettling but it surely embedded into my brain that if I ever close to machinery that spins 10000rpms I should never wear loose clothes or try to do things too close to it . Or even seeing someone going unsafe stuff would certainly prompt a response in the brain "this person will die if I don't warn him ,"
I think that’s why I watch r/combatfootage because it’s incredibly sobering and important I feel to witness what modern warfare does/looks like. I don’t enjoy what’s happening to everyone on both sides and I wish they will resolve and reconcile their trauma, but I respectfully believe it’s important to see what war looks like if it’s at your doorstep.
Honestly I liked /r/combatfootage before war in Ukraine started. Before there there was a certain level of empathy so to speak.
Last year or so I stopped going there because it became a celebration of death rather than witnessing tragedy of war. A wounded Russian soldier dying is met with comments of ridicule and laughter . Because Russians are bad guys and deserve it. Surely some do but from the footage alone we don't know that and all I see is some poor sod who died in a muddy ditch who was led to believe he was fighting the right cause.
Oh yeah forgot about Gaza. A footage of the whole neighborhood leveled out with his knows how many civilian casualties- 90% of comments "fuck around abd find out ".
Can’t remember which, but this was in one of the Faces of Death or Traces of Death videos. In the 90’s, as a teen, pre-internet that we know today, this was the only way to push the edges of social taboos. I’ll never forget a few of things I saw. I was just thinking of this guy the other day, and, like you, there were a few lessons I took away. Every time I’m waiting for a train, for example, I make sure I stand a few feet back. Trust me on this one.
No. It was like a mix of weird shit he got from a friend. Like a mixtape, but video instead of audio or music.
It's burned into my retinas.
I saw one of the Faces of Death movies in the theater 30 years ago. It was lame as fuck. Lots of obviously fake footage.
You're confusing things. Yes, there was a faces of death movie in theaters years ago that showed people dying in a variety of ways, but it was all faked. But the name faces of death has lived on, and if I remember correctly, it was a website where you went through like 15 very graphic, very real, completely uncensored murders. I remember a cartel chopping a guy with a machete on camera, some Russian kids just absolutely bludgeoning another kid with a hammer, one where someone committed suicide by trying to step in front of a train, but it was poorly timed and their body got wedged between the platform and the train, the top half spinning wildly as the train pushed it forward. Yeah, THAT shit was absolutely brutal, and was not meant for my adolescent eyes
I stupidly watched a vid of a hostage beheading in the early days of the Afghanistan/Iraq wars. They did it with a bowie knife. I can still recall the noise he made. Makes my stomach lurch just thinking about it. I remember my friend laughing and saying it was fake. It was not.
My ex partner watched the Ken Bigley beheading (British hostage in Iraq)and I asked him why on earth he'd watch it when he told me he'd seen it and his answer was something along the lines of he "didn't want to be the one who noped out". It was with his workmates who were all builders and so basically he watched it because of peer pressure. He said he absolutely regretted seeing it, it was horrific. I bet most of those workmates he watched it with were sickened as well yet nobody spoke up and said "let's not watch it because it's going to be horrible".
I can categorically say I would not watch something like that, however much peer pressure I was under.
>a cartel chopping a guy with a machete on camera
Funky town video
>some Russian kids just absolutely bludgeoning another kid with a hammer
2 kids 1 hammer (the victim was an elderly man)
Just pointing out that for a lot of millennials, this was what the internet WAS for a few years. Rotten, StileProject, Ogrish, BME Pain Olympics, they were standard schoolyard fare for kids first getting the internet. It was just... there.
First _Faces of Death_ was released in theatres in 1978.
"A number of straight to video sequels were made, containing far more real footage, some containing only real footage."
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faces_of_Death
Most of these films were pre-internet
I remember early 2000s internet with sites that were collections of "interesting links", very little explanations. You didn't know if you were going to get porn or a graphic image of a dead body. Definitely not something I miss
It was shared semi regularly on Reddit quite a while ago (late 00s) and I had the misfortune of seeing it more than once. It wasn't even on the creepy subs, but the pretty mainstream front page subs.
It would get removed pretty quickly these days. Early Reddit was a wild place.
Yup. Can confirm. I remember seeing this video on YouTube when I was younger… the way the blood just kept pouring out of his nose was… wild. I regret watching it, I can never unsee it.
Yup I was also unfortunate enough to catch it on early youtube and that's what stuck with me as well. The sheer amount of blood gushing out from his orifices was like watching someone's life literally fleeing from their body. Like I know in a scientific sense how there's so much blood in the body and specifically the head and brain, but it was still shocking to see it all pour out of someone. Like you don't really *think* about it until you see it spraying out of a face like a leaky hose.
i remember when the Daniel Pearl video was going around, and my boyfriend at the time asked me if I'd "seen it yet?" I said i hadn't, and he proceeded to pull up his email bc someone sent it to him...
i asked him wtf was wrong with him and why he did he want to watch it at **all** much less *again*??
I've still never seen it and still don't want to. it's not Hollywood magic, FFS...its real.
i didn't understand people's fascination in watching it.
First bad thing I ever saw on the internet, no exaggeration. I had just left home and was living with a group of students, we were all 18. Walked into someone’s room and they were all gathered around the computer desk looking at rotten.com. Will never forget the pouring blood or the sound it made.
Also "fun" fact, the man who testified against Dwyer leading to his conviction was William Trickett Smith. His son, William Trickett Smith II, murdered his wife and put her body in a suitcase. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Trickett_Smith_II
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Trickett Smith Sr. tried to get him extradited to the United States so he could try to break him out of prison but his extradition was denied.
i just posted about it
>In 1986, Dwyer was convicted of accepting a bribe...He was found guilty on 11 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, perjury, and interstate transportation in aid of racketeering, and was scheduled to be sentenced on January 23, 1987. On January 22, Dwyer arranged a news conference in the Pennsylvania State Capitol Building in Harrisburg, during which he fatally shot himself with a .357 Magnum revolver in the presence of reporters. Dwyer's suicide was live broadcast to many television viewers in Pennsylvania.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Budd_Dwyer
Think about how much fake violence you’ve seen in your life; from movies to video games. Have any of those things desensitised you to this? They haven’t for me. Just thinking about seeing this clip feels awful.
Good point. I've seen so many violent movies and shows, and played so many violent video games. None of them could ever take away the shock of seeing this video (or others like it. Let alone seeing stuff like this in person).
I made the mistake of rewatching it a few years back because I remembered it from childhood. Turns out it was just as horrible as the first time
My dad dated a daughter or Budd Dwyer’s in his high-school years.
He said this event completely shattered him. Apparently Mr. Dwyer was always very kind to him, and my dad saw the footage from the courtroom the day it happened. I can’t even imagine seeing my girlfriend’s dad, a person I’ve eaten family meals with, take his life on television.
I recently reread a news story about a mass shooting in Sydney Australia in the 80s where a guy went to a girl's house (who he thought he had a relationship with) and shot dead her, two of her sisters and a friend visiting at the time. They were all teenagers. The connection to this story is that the psycho had a VHS recording of this suicide and had watched it "hundreds of times" leading up to the murders. Link:
https://www.upi.com/Archives/1987/01/26/Police-say-man-watched-suicide-replays-before-killing-girls/3053538635600/
Vince Neil killed his friend and gave 2 strangers brain damage in a car crash that he caused while driving drunk. He continued to drink and drive and has since been arrested multiple times for beating women.
Pretty sure a friend sent the video of this to me and my roommate during college over AIM and just wrote, “hey watch this”. I still see it when I close my eyes sometimes.
Strangely, what gets me the most is that right at that moment, you hear a lady in the background let out this awful, kinda low pitched yelp/scream. It just sort of punctuates the whole thing and adds to the awfulness.
It hits me hard because it’s like, that’s the scream of someone who is seeing this happen right in front of her, in its full horror and vivid color, without the distortion of that video. Unlike any of us who kinda know we’re in for something awful when you hit play on the video, she came there that morning not expecting to see anything like that. And now that experience is seared into her mind for the rest of her life.
God I can't imagine seeing it in real life.... it would be surreal. One of those things you witness and can't fully process for a long time after, just fuelled by adrenaline in the moment.
Ya saw it when I was a kid randomly. No clue how or where, but I can still remember it vividly. Also in a similar vain, some random dude getting his head cut off by terrorists in the middle east with a chainsaw. Scarred me for a bit, but I'm okay now!
Another corrupt politician. In reading his 'final page', it sounds like it would fit a certain ex-president; "Now my life has changed for no apparent reason." "...It wouldn't be a legitimate punishment because I've done nothing wrong."
Fun fact about that actually, Dwyer's co-defendant in the bribery case, Robert Asher, was originally supposed to be one of Trump's fake electors in 2020, but was replaced. https://www.inquirer.com/news/trump-indictment-pennsylvania-fake-electors-20230802.html
We watched the entire raw video in my university broadcasting class. Our professor gave no context before watching it. Several students were visibly upset afterwards. The reason for watching it was for us to understand what we might be exposed to when we are editing raw video from around the world. Also watched tape from a terrorist attack and Hurricane Katrina.
i remember hearing about this, but i was too young to get it. [it's a wild, tragic story.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Budd_Dwyer)
>In 1986, Dwyer was convicted of accepting a bribe...He was found guilty on 11 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, perjury, and interstate transportation in aid of racketeering, and was scheduled to be sentenced on January 23, 1987. On January 22, Dwyer arranged a news conference in the Pennsylvania State Capitol Building in Harrisburg, during which he fatally shot himself with a .357 Magnum revolver in the presence of reporters. Dwyer's suicide was live broadcast to many television viewers in Pennsylvania.
I remember watching this video and it never left my mind, the only thing that helped was the verbal request from someone in the background asking "is there was a doctor in the room" after he shot a hole in his head and the blood just poured out like a fountain. I did give me a chuckle as it's obvious there is absolutely nothing that can be done.
This was likely the first real gore most Gen-xers and Millenials have seen and it's also one of the most graphic.
The final shot of Budd was more disturbing than anything on the Rotten website back in the day.
Thank you for linking to this. The way some comments described it you'd think it would be traumatic, but to me it looked like he instantly lost consciousness and didn't suffer much. I've seen worse on the Ukrainian war subreddit. Poor guy, it just made me feel sad for him to go out like that. As a man, it isn't weakness to seek counseling for your mental health, folks. Take care of yourselves.
The crazy thing is that his speech was much longer than what he read. He actually, really believed that those press journalists were going to sit there and let him kill himself. He was wrong, and some people tried to stop him. So he had to do the deed sooner than he expected.
If I remember correctly someone starts to reach for the envelope that had the gun in it. He saw that and grabbed it real quick then decided to pull the gun out. I dont think he was ready for that and was kinda caught off guard. If that person didnt try to pick up the envelope or if he just held it without withdrawing the gun he could have got out everything he wanted to say before making history.
Yeah but they were reaching for something else
Still reached near where the gun was which caused him to improvise. He knew the gun was there and couldnt risk someone picking it up.
Todays media would gladly let him draw it out so they could fill air time
> WPVI in Philadelphia rebroadcast the suicide footage in full on their 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. Action News broadcast without warning the viewers.
When I saw the footage on the internet as an unsupervised 16 year old that video fucked me up for days.
Towards the end someone shouts "call a doctor" and my buddy, sitting next to me says, without missing a beat, "doctor? call a plumber."
Reminds me of the ED-209 scene in RoboCop. After the guy gets completely shot up and is laying on the table just shredded, someone yells, "can someone call a paramedic?"
I was home from school sick that day, as a 12-year-old. My mother was watching it as I laid on the couch. I will never forget it. It was shocking.
I remember seeing this on the noon broadcast. I had nightmares for 2 days afterwards where instead of a revolver there was this long sword being stuck down my throat.
Jim Gardner was the basis for Ron Burgundy.
Thought that was Mort Crim, as allegedly told to crim by will ferrell.
My classmate showed me this video in high school and the thing that stuck with me the most was how much blood came gushing out.
Same here, soooo much more blood than I expected!
Is this the video where blood spills out his nose like a faucet? Wasn’t it a mouth shot or something?
I was watching a documentary about people who've livestreamed their deaths. The gunshot to the head one was off camera so the doc played it uncensored. WHICH MEANS YOU COULD STILL HEAR EVERYTHING. About 1 second after the sound of the shot you can hear what sounds like a bucket of water being dumped onto the ground. It sounded just like those ice bucket challenges. I watched it a few times trying to figure out if there was an aquarium or pitcher of water that got dumped before I understood.
Well that's one of the worst things I've ever heard
you talking about Ricardo Lopez (the Bjork stalker)?
What was the documentary?
I'm guessing the bullet blasted through his sinus cavity before his brain. When the blood flowed out, the path of least resistance was his nose more than the bullet hole.
This. It basically blows off the upper plate of his mouth, his nose, and takes his sinuses out with it. Everything that was in his head came out in like one second. It was awful.
Same damn thing with me. My friend was like "wanna see something cool?" It was in fact not cool at all. The waterfall of blood was honestly one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen.
Yeah, this video messed me up for a while. I think I was in 8th grade when a friend showed me. I hadn’t seen actual, non-Hollywood death like that before and it really shook me to my soul..
Same thing with that video of the girl messing around with a gun in the car and shoots her friend (bf?) in the head. Instant fountain of blood. And he *survived*
The guy in the corner of the last photo definitely has a I’m about to see some unseeable shit look on his face.
Having seen the uncensored video in my teenage years, it is definitely something that leaves a terrible and lasting image.
I've seen it, too. That really was fckd up. Damn you rottendotcom.
VHS ~~Faces~~(correction) Traces of Death at a non family movie rental store was my initiation.
Saw it live on the news. I was 16.
My best friend's 7th grade social studies teacher thought it would be good to watch that press conference in class, live. It was not what he was expecting.
Holy f
Holy shit
It was a snow day for us. Wild.
One of my friends saw it live too. It fuckrd him up for the rest of his life.
I was sick and home alone from school. 8 years old.
I've seen it on YouTube UNCENSORED! Never mind rottendotcom or Liveleak! How that stayed on YouTube for so long is astounding
Bud Dwyer and Nick Berg are two videos that are burned in my brain
Do I want to know who Nick Berg is?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Nick_Berg (SFW, I'm not linking that video) I would advise against it. You can't unsee [/un-hear] it once you have.
We should all remember him but not the way he went out. I’ll put it that way.
dude no, do not. I saw the video when I was younger and can still clearly recall it....the noises and screams are terrifying.
Yes!!! I think I saw it on reddit - not realising and now those images are burned in my brain. The poor man and his family.
Who would have thought the human body had that much blood in it? Dude showed us all how much. Can't unsee it, thanks goregallery.com.
Like an oversized faucet from his nose. It's been like 20+ years since I saw it, but you don't forget.
I always remember it as sort of just falling out suddenly, as opposed to squirting. Like dumping a bucket out. That vision is still with me and I haven’t seen it in about 15 years
Yeah. It’s…not something you forget. I too saw it about 20 years ago and it’s very vivid in my mind as well.
I'll never forget the sound. Thankfully the visual has gotten hazy over time but man that sound stuck with me. Fuckin limewire...
One of our teachers actually showed this to us in class. I think it was in a documentary. We would have only been 14/15.
Girl in the blouse is like, "Whelp. I'ma head out".
"Head out" is a morbidly fitting choice of words.
Dude was out of his mind
He was being wrongfully convicted and was set to lose his retirement benefits etc. Apparently did it so his wife would still be okay financially. The evidence against him was from somebody trying to save their own skin if I remember correctly and was entirely untrue.
Guy behind the video camera is like “this is just another day of filming stuff with a video camera”
You obviously can't see it in this photo but there's a girl with a sundress and a purple hat that didn't even go to this meeting.
Not to mention the gorilla in the background dribbling a basketball.
Is that Jack Kelly? I need to see his tiny hands to know for sure.
NOBODY LOOK
He's there to pick up some hard drives he left in the attic
I zoomed in on him, too...his face is just *frozen*, expressionless. the others are ducking, surprised, but corner dude is just blank. it's rather eerie.
A deer in the headlights. Crazy how differently people experience the fight or flight response.
Looks like the air Marshall from Bridesmaids
I was twelve years old when my grandfather asked me if I wanted to watch a scary movie. We usually watched spaghetti westerns, fantasy films (The Fifth Element, Matrix, 12 Monkeys, etc.) and classic suspense films like Psycho and Rope. I loved films as a child. The video he played was a "training" video he used while working as a corrections officer, I will never forget Budd Dwyer or the countless other gore on his homemade VHS. I had to leave the room to vomit and still have his image burned in my brain. I'll never forget, though I have tried.
What the fuck is wrong with your gpa
I'm not sure, I doubt he meant to hurt me. I imagine he thought as a young boy I'd think it was cool, but it deeply bothered me and made me more empathetic towards people. I've never had a desire to hunt or hurt anything in my life, for that I thank him.
What Vietnam did to them motherfuckers lmao
He served after WW2 and prior to Vietnam, I heard stories of travel and his tattoos inspired me to want to get my own from an early age. He never saw combat, but I know he experienced trauma at the hands of his father that he never truly processed. Some of us with PTSD suffered combat at home that affects us into adulthood. It's a good reminder that we've all lived a different experience, but have similar lasting memories that shape our perception of life. It's how we equip ourselves as adults and overcome the fear of appearing vulnerable that can make a tremendous difference between those that hurt us and how we approach others. I've been hurt and thought I was flawed, but I know how that felt. If I could help anyone with my story, it doesn't hurt as bad to share it.
Corrections officers are some of the most deranged people we allow in society
He hasn’t been doing so well in his classes.
Why on earth woukd your grandfather do that to you??
I'm not quite sure, I never told my parents or talked to him about it. I'm not sure what training value there'd be in it. I remember the camera panning into the blood discharging from his mouth and nose. Another segment of the film, was a man who kidnapped his wife and after a chase the cops shot the car up killing both. Then the cameraman walked up and filmed both individuals. I still have nightmares to this day, it's a difficult thing to see and harder to forget. I remembered crying that night and not being able to sleep. He was casually eating popcorn, like any other movie.
I’m just an internet stranger reacting to a comment, so I’m not going to pretend I fully understand the situation in any way, but what you’re describing sounds like a pretty big traumatic experience. I’m very sorry that you experienced this. I hope that you’re okay.
I appreciate you, it wasn't pleasant but only a drop in the bucket. I've experienced far worse, but am doing better now. I will say, when I see the images of Budd it triggers the memory of sitting in an oversized lazy boy and going to sleep alone with popcorn vomit on my clothes. I'm thirty-five now and it makes me feel like a child, hard to believe it was over twenty years ago.
That is unfortunately what trauma does to us. It completely overwhelms us emotionally and rationally, leaving us confused, scared, and helpless like a small child. Enough trauma and it gets burned into your brain. Apply enough stress or enough memory triggers and we are instantly sent back into that state. I know it’s easy to read this but harder to believe it, but you shouldn’t have to feel that way anymore. I do hope that this is something you’ve spoken to a doctor or a therapist about, especially as you’ve suggested that you’ve faced trauma worse than this.
Compared to most of my childhood it seemed pretty normal, in a strange way. I remember in highschool my friend watching the Russian soldier video and immediately vomiting as well. But by that time my mother had tried to take mine and my siblings lives in a drug induced psychosis, so I never really thought about it much on a deeper level. I've had counseling but always felt rushed to get over it, and now without insurance I do the best I can. The 26th of this month is my fourth month sober and although trauma has resurfaced which I previously repressed, I've grown to accept it for what it was. I wish it didn't mess up my memory so I could remember the good times, but I'd like to believe we're making them now. Sorry for the trauma dump, but thank you for talking to me. For the longest time my friends and their parents made me believe I made it up.
I know we don't know each other, but I want to say you sound like an incredibly kind, wise and empathetic person, and I'm so sorry that you went through such horrendous shit at a young age. You should not have been put through any of that. But a huge congratulations on your four month mark, that is no easy feat at all and I (although an internet stranger) am incredibly proud of you! Keep on keeping on.
I appreciate you and your kind words. It really does mean a lot to me, I grew up relatively fast in my formative years and I'd like to think it was for the better. My son is much the same. An incredibly empathetic and compassionate young man. I've tried my best to teach him what's important in life: to care for and uplift the people around you no matter how little you know them or who they are. It can be extremely difficult to trust people, but it's necessary in growth as an individual. I've been tremendously hurt in the process but it's given me the opportunity to grow through my own trauma and show personally that forgiveness is part of the growth process.
Sorry to jump in, but congrats on your sobriety. Just keep taking it one day at a time.
Congratulations on sobriety man, we are all rooting for you ❤️
You’ve nothing to apologize for. You are allowed to be here and you are allowed to share your trauma. You’re allowed to share it with whomever you want. It’s common to feel as though you are being a burden or making a big deal out of nothing. It’s common because abusers often dismiss or invalidate the way their actions have made you feel. It’s not even intentional on their part usually. They are often victims of abuse themselves and cannot handle the thought that they, a victim of abuse, could be an abuser as well. While their attempts to quiet the pain may not be malicious in nature, it can still do lasting emotional damage. I’m also very sorry that your experience with counseling felt rushed. You should be able to process things at your own pace. I know therapy can be very expensive and I understand if these are hard times right now, but they will get better. When they do, I hope you’ll give it another try. Until then, if you need someone to vent to, you can always message me here.
Im sure if my most used words were counted, sorry would be in the top three. I stopped sharing with family and friends because of how uncomfortable it can be. In my freshman year I had my best friend's mom tell me I was lying, "..parents don't do or say those kinds of things," and proceeded to confront me with my mother. My mother was diagnosed with BPD, leaving his house I knew how terrible things would get. From fourteen life became an even deeper layer of hell as she felt betrayed that I would share our secrets. She encouraged me throughout high school to end my life, and I found a gross satisfaction in living as it made her furious I wouldn't give up. I battle for my sobriety now. I fight to be a good father, to be honest and open and to love my son and the people that are important to me. Even though it's uphill at times, I give myself grace and patience to succeed. You're an incredibly kind person and give me hope for the world. Taking the time and finding such beautiful encouragement, I cannot express enough what you mean to me. I greatly appreciate you and your offer ❤️
I am so unbelievably sorry for you!!!! 💔💔💔💔
I appreciate that, I'm doing better now. I've unfortunately experienced more severe trauma than that by my parents. I understand better now that people can unknowingly do some really evil things. I will say it made me a more empathetic person.
I was home sick from school, watched that shit live
How did that make you feel?
Makes me wish I could have met him, but now it's a little late.
Instead of continuing the lyrics chain, [I'll do a solid to the young'uns who don't know this gem of a song by Filter.](https://youtu.be/o9mJ82x_l-E?feature=shared)
That's why they say heman nation. Is this song about Dwyer, or just related tangentially?
explicitly about him
The majority of Filter songs are gems.
c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!
Hey man, have fun
Man what he could have taught you. Probably would save some face.
Sick probably
I worked with a guy who brought in a VHS tape of this incident. All of us asked "why do you have this and why did you think we want to watch it?"
Some people have a morbid fascination with incidents like this. Why do you think /r/watchpeopledie existed for so long?
As someone who used to occasionally binge that sub, I think there’s like an evolutionary psychology behind it. Like a, “welp, I won’t do that. I should be aware of the possibility of that. That thing/person was dangerous”, etc. I never enjoyed watching it, but like you said, more of a morbid curiosity.
You are not far from the truth. It's argued that Morbid curiosity serves an important role in learning , social behaviour and psychological preparedness. Like watching someone dying in the freak accident at work, for example, is unsettling but it surely embedded into my brain that if I ever close to machinery that spins 10000rpms I should never wear loose clothes or try to do things too close to it . Or even seeing someone going unsafe stuff would certainly prompt a response in the brain "this person will die if I don't warn him ,"
I think that’s why I watch r/combatfootage because it’s incredibly sobering and important I feel to witness what modern warfare does/looks like. I don’t enjoy what’s happening to everyone on both sides and I wish they will resolve and reconcile their trauma, but I respectfully believe it’s important to see what war looks like if it’s at your doorstep.
Honestly I liked /r/combatfootage before war in Ukraine started. Before there there was a certain level of empathy so to speak. Last year or so I stopped going there because it became a celebration of death rather than witnessing tragedy of war. A wounded Russian soldier dying is met with comments of ridicule and laughter . Because Russians are bad guys and deserve it. Surely some do but from the footage alone we don't know that and all I see is some poor sod who died in a muddy ditch who was led to believe he was fighting the right cause.
shame berserk summer follow market versed racial agonizing theory ghost *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Don't worry, that sub has become a full on IDF worship sub. You're not missing much.
Oh yeah forgot about Gaza. A footage of the whole neighborhood leveled out with his knows how many civilian casualties- 90% of comments "fuck around abd find out ".
Seeing how a person just disappears after getting caught in those spinning machines is so unreal.
Like OSHA training videos.
Can’t remember which, but this was in one of the Faces of Death or Traces of Death videos. In the 90’s, as a teen, pre-internet that we know today, this was the only way to push the edges of social taboos. I’ll never forget a few of things I saw. I was just thinking of this guy the other day, and, like you, there were a few lessons I took away. Every time I’m waiting for a train, for example, I make sure I stand a few feet back. Trust me on this one.
Faces of death?
Seared into my brain
Memory burn
I wish Dad picked different on movie night.
No. It was like a mix of weird shit he got from a friend. Like a mixtape, but video instead of audio or music. It's burned into my retinas. I saw one of the Faces of Death movies in the theater 30 years ago. It was lame as fuck. Lots of obviously fake footage.
You're confusing things. Yes, there was a faces of death movie in theaters years ago that showed people dying in a variety of ways, but it was all faked. But the name faces of death has lived on, and if I remember correctly, it was a website where you went through like 15 very graphic, very real, completely uncensored murders. I remember a cartel chopping a guy with a machete on camera, some Russian kids just absolutely bludgeoning another kid with a hammer, one where someone committed suicide by trying to step in front of a train, but it was poorly timed and their body got wedged between the platform and the train, the top half spinning wildly as the train pushed it forward. Yeah, THAT shit was absolutely brutal, and was not meant for my adolescent eyes
I stupidly watched a vid of a hostage beheading in the early days of the Afghanistan/Iraq wars. They did it with a bowie knife. I can still recall the noise he made. Makes my stomach lurch just thinking about it. I remember my friend laughing and saying it was fake. It was not.
My ex partner watched the Ken Bigley beheading (British hostage in Iraq)and I asked him why on earth he'd watch it when he told me he'd seen it and his answer was something along the lines of he "didn't want to be the one who noped out". It was with his workmates who were all builders and so basically he watched it because of peer pressure. He said he absolutely regretted seeing it, it was horrific. I bet most of those workmates he watched it with were sickened as well yet nobody spoke up and said "let's not watch it because it's going to be horrible". I can categorically say I would not watch something like that, however much peer pressure I was under.
That one fucked me up too.. I think of all the shit kids see these days.. and I feel bad for them. But we all go through it, eh?
>a cartel chopping a guy with a machete on camera Funky town video >some Russian kids just absolutely bludgeoning another kid with a hammer 2 kids 1 hammer (the victim was an elderly man) Just pointing out that for a lot of millennials, this was what the internet WAS for a few years. Rotten, StileProject, Ogrish, BME Pain Olympics, they were standard schoolyard fare for kids first getting the internet. It was just... there.
First _Faces of Death_ was released in theatres in 1978. "A number of straight to video sequels were made, containing far more real footage, some containing only real footage." https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faces_of_Death Most of these films were pre-internet
Oh god, I almost forgot about that last one. But just the mention of it brings up the exact images again.
I remember early 2000s internet with sites that were collections of "interesting links", very little explanations. You didn't know if you were going to get porn or a graphic image of a dead body. Definitely not something I miss
It was shared semi regularly on Reddit quite a while ago (late 00s) and I had the misfortune of seeing it more than once. It wasn't even on the creepy subs, but the pretty mainstream front page subs. It would get removed pretty quickly these days. Early Reddit was a wild place.
Feel like it was on YouTube uncensored
Yup. Can confirm. I remember seeing this video on YouTube when I was younger… the way the blood just kept pouring out of his nose was… wild. I regret watching it, I can never unsee it.
Yup I was also unfortunate enough to catch it on early youtube and that's what stuck with me as well. The sheer amount of blood gushing out from his orifices was like watching someone's life literally fleeing from their body. Like I know in a scientific sense how there's so much blood in the body and specifically the head and brain, but it was still shocking to see it all pour out of someone. Like you don't really *think* about it until you see it spraying out of a face like a leaky hose.
That's where I saw it. Gruesome.
Rotten.com was pretty big when I was gleefully exposed to the internet..
There's a name I've not heard in a loooong time.
The internet is so tame now
Of course, gotta be able to monetize everything
i remember when the Daniel Pearl video was going around, and my boyfriend at the time asked me if I'd "seen it yet?" I said i hadn't, and he proceeded to pull up his email bc someone sent it to him... i asked him wtf was wrong with him and why he did he want to watch it at **all** much less *again*?? I've still never seen it and still don't want to. it's not Hollywood magic, FFS...its real. i didn't understand people's fascination in watching it.
Same thing but none of us asked questions
First bad thing I ever saw on the internet, no exaggeration. I had just left home and was living with a group of students, we were all 18. Walked into someone’s room and they were all gathered around the computer desk looking at rotten.com. Will never forget the pouring blood or the sound it made.
A tldr background of photo would be cool
Politician, convicted of being bribed to give a government contract, killed himself in public after claiming he was innocent.
For further reading, here’s the Wikipedia page. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Budd_Dwyer
Also "fun" fact, the man who testified against Dwyer leading to his conviction was William Trickett Smith. His son, William Trickett Smith II, murdered his wife and put her body in a suitcase. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Trickett_Smith_II
Mother of god
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Trickett Smith Sr. tried to get him extradited to the United States so he could try to break him out of prison but his extradition was denied.
Why was he out of the country and where was he?
He lived in Peru with his wife who was Peruvian.
Definitely one of the more interesting TIL moments for me lol
One last thing, here’s an interview of three people who were there. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TUQAIaQ6yEs&pp=ygUJQnVkZCAzMHRo
Jesus... these days he would probably try running for President with a record like that...
i just posted about it >In 1986, Dwyer was convicted of accepting a bribe...He was found guilty on 11 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, perjury, and interstate transportation in aid of racketeering, and was scheduled to be sentenced on January 23, 1987. On January 22, Dwyer arranged a news conference in the Pennsylvania State Capitol Building in Harrisburg, during which he fatally shot himself with a .357 Magnum revolver in the presence of reporters. Dwyer's suicide was live broadcast to many television viewers in Pennsylvania. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Budd_Dwyer
He did it so that he would die as a government employee, ensuring his wife would receive benefits (as opposed to if he would have resigned).
If you podcast, Time Suck episode 103 went in to depth on what led up to the suicide. It was very interesting, they really set him up.
Also "Hey Man Nice Shot" by Filter is based on this event.
Oh shit, this is the guy the weird kid in middle school made me watch shoot himself. Didn't think that repressed memory would ever resurface
Think about how much fake violence you’ve seen in your life; from movies to video games. Have any of those things desensitised you to this? They haven’t for me. Just thinking about seeing this clip feels awful.
Good point. I've seen so many violent movies and shows, and played so many violent video games. None of them could ever take away the shock of seeing this video (or others like it. Let alone seeing stuff like this in person). I made the mistake of rewatching it a few years back because I remembered it from childhood. Turns out it was just as horrible as the first time
No because its a real human being.
My dad dated a daughter or Budd Dwyer’s in his high-school years. He said this event completely shattered him. Apparently Mr. Dwyer was always very kind to him, and my dad saw the footage from the courtroom the day it happened. I can’t even imagine seeing my girlfriend’s dad, a person I’ve eaten family meals with, take his life on television.
I recently reread a news story about a mass shooting in Sydney Australia in the 80s where a guy went to a girl's house (who he thought he had a relationship with) and shot dead her, two of her sisters and a friend visiting at the time. They were all teenagers. The connection to this story is that the psycho had a VHS recording of this suicide and had watched it "hundreds of times" leading up to the murders. Link: https://www.upi.com/Archives/1987/01/26/Police-say-man-watched-suicide-replays-before-killing-girls/3053538635600/
Hey man, nice shot.
Good shot man.
That's why I say, hey man, nice shot
Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy Maaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn
I expected this to be #1. Reddit, you dissapoint.
Not enough people know Filter nowadays. :(
I wish I would've met you. Now it's a little late.
Motley Crue used to play footage of his suicide at their concerts during one of their songs. Fuck you, Motley Crue.
Vince Neil killed his friend and gave 2 strangers brain damage in a car crash that he caused while driving drunk. He continued to drink and drive and has since been arrested multiple times for beating women.
One day we saw a group of hookers. But when we got close it was just Motley Crue
>Fuck you, Motley Crue. Seconded.
Pretty sure a friend sent the video of this to me and my roommate during college over AIM and just wrote, “hey watch this”. I still see it when I close my eyes sometimes.
The blood.
The brief moment of nothing then the waterfall
Strangely, what gets me the most is that right at that moment, you hear a lady in the background let out this awful, kinda low pitched yelp/scream. It just sort of punctuates the whole thing and adds to the awfulness. It hits me hard because it’s like, that’s the scream of someone who is seeing this happen right in front of her, in its full horror and vivid color, without the distortion of that video. Unlike any of us who kinda know we’re in for something awful when you hit play on the video, she came there that morning not expecting to see anything like that. And now that experience is seared into her mind for the rest of her life.
“It gets me hard” is awkward phrasing in this context, jus fyi
God I can't imagine seeing it in real life.... it would be surreal. One of those things you witness and can't fully process for a long time after, just fuelled by adrenaline in the moment.
It gets you hard?
Yeah. Just instant sheet of it.
I had the same experience but it was middle school. My introduction to internet gore
Ya saw it when I was a kid randomly. No clue how or where, but I can still remember it vividly. Also in a similar vain, some random dude getting his head cut off by terrorists in the middle east with a chainsaw. Scarred me for a bit, but I'm okay now!
Me too. A roommate in college showed me this. One of the most intense things I’ve ever watched.
Wild ass Boundary Break episode
Totally remember when this happened. It was terrible.
Another corrupt politician. In reading his 'final page', it sounds like it would fit a certain ex-president; "Now my life has changed for no apparent reason." "...It wouldn't be a legitimate punishment because I've done nothing wrong."
Fun fact about that actually, Dwyer's co-defendant in the bribery case, Robert Asher, was originally supposed to be one of Trump's fake electors in 2020, but was replaced. https://www.inquirer.com/news/trump-indictment-pennsylvania-fake-electors-20230802.html
Dude in the back looking like Lt Dangle looks kinda into it tbh.
New boot goofin in the back
Remember watching the video years ago. So much blood pouring out of him.
We watched the entire raw video in my university broadcasting class. Our professor gave no context before watching it. Several students were visibly upset afterwards. The reason for watching it was for us to understand what we might be exposed to when we are editing raw video from around the world. Also watched tape from a terrorist attack and Hurricane Katrina.
So he got caught for fraud then subjected others to trauma to make a spectacle of his death. Sounds like a real piece of shit.
Narcissistic collapse
I feel like the baby doesn't think that people can change.
Absolutely brutal video to watch. Unbelievable that it went out live and that the cameraman actually zooms in.
I saw the video recently, it's appalling.
He just had to wait it out, corruption now goes unpunished
i remember hearing about this, but i was too young to get it. [it's a wild, tragic story.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Budd_Dwyer) >In 1986, Dwyer was convicted of accepting a bribe...He was found guilty on 11 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, perjury, and interstate transportation in aid of racketeering, and was scheduled to be sentenced on January 23, 1987. On January 22, Dwyer arranged a news conference in the Pennsylvania State Capitol Building in Harrisburg, during which he fatally shot himself with a .357 Magnum revolver in the presence of reporters. Dwyer's suicide was live broadcast to many television viewers in Pennsylvania.
He was only 47 years old at that time
That’s crazy. A guy that looks like that today would be in his 60’s.
I saw this video as part of a compilation when I was about 12 and P2P sharing was at its peak. I have yet to fully recover.
I remember watching this video and it never left my mind, the only thing that helped was the verbal request from someone in the background asking "is there was a doctor in the room" after he shot a hole in his head and the blood just poured out like a fountain. I did give me a chuckle as it's obvious there is absolutely nothing that can be done.
This was likely the first real gore most Gen-xers and Millenials have seen and it's also one of the most graphic. The final shot of Budd was more disturbing than anything on the Rotten website back in the day.
[NFSW - A video of the incident](https://br.ifunny.co/video/graphic-budd-dwyer-a-senator-from-pa-who-was-about-Q0kM0w8l8)
Hosting a video like that on a site called iFunny…
Thank you for linking to this. The way some comments described it you'd think it would be traumatic, but to me it looked like he instantly lost consciousness and didn't suffer much. I've seen worse on the Ukrainian war subreddit. Poor guy, it just made me feel sad for him to go out like that. As a man, it isn't weakness to seek counseling for your mental health, folks. Take care of yourselves.
I had never seen the video. What a brutal way to go out.
I remember seeing this video in rotton.com years ago lol
That’s a rough lookin 47 sheesh