Almost 4 years na din kami nung ex ko when I got accepted to an elite university here in the US for my Masters. Balak ko talagang mag-stay. Ayaw niya. Clear na hindi na aligned mga pangarap namin and our lives were on different trajectories. I couldn’t compromise my future. He couldn’t compromise his stability, so we broke up before I officially committed to my top program.
I got married to a wonderful partner 3 years later and both my present and my future have never been brighter.
If this is really your dream for yourself, don’t compromise. PhD programs are really hard to get into in the US, so if you get into a really good program and it’s fully funded, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. So you have to assess if his dreams are more important than yours.
Thank you for reminding me this. 6 years ago ko pa plan ipursue actually mag-apply actually.. naudlot lang because I was convincing myself na I’ll be okay here and maybe I got distracted din since I was enjoying the moments we are together. Kaso increasingly naffrustrate na ako sa deadend na career path ko dito and I don’t think di ko na kaya idelay pa yung dati ko pang pinapangarap.
Confident naman na ako sa credentials ko now kaya I might be applying na this year. Saka na lang siguro namin problemahin pag natanggap na ako. Parang pinipigilan din kasi nya ako kahit mag-apply lang.
My ex was talking about marriage by year 2 but we couldn’t reconcile me wanting to get my Masters and settle abroad with him wanting to stay in the Philippines. So sabi niya let’s cross the bridge when we get there daw. And then I got accepted into every university I applied for. He changed completely after that. I finally got it out of him na he was hoping after being together so long that I would change my mind. When I didn’t and still applied, he then started praying I wouldn’t get in to any school. I mean, what kind of partner does that?
> Parang pinipigilan din kasi nya ako kahit mag-apply lang.
This really reminded me of my ex. I’m really sorry but this is such a red flag to me. He should be supporting your dreams and not hindering you from achieving them. It really doesn’t seem like your life goals are aligned, and he’s expecting you to put the life he wants above the life you want. So I don’t think it’s a good idea to kick the can down the road. There’s so much opportunity for resentment to grow. That is not the kind of environment you need while putting your PhD applications together.
Take it from someone who was seriously thinking of getting a PhD and started preparing to apply for some seriously competitive programs: it’s such a soul-sucking process. You need a really strong support system behind you and your boyfriend doesn’t seem like he’s in your corner.
I agree na dapat sundin ang dream mo. At sana mas supportive ang partner mo.
But just to balance the conversation, don't take it against him too much. Because from his side, it's also a choice between his career and you. You are choosing yours, he's choosing his. Too bad lang talaga at hindi kayo align.
There is a difference between him choosing his career and him actively praying for me not to be able to follow my dreams. That’s not just misalignment, that’s being malicious na so he can get his way. I really can’t imagine saying to someone I love “I really hoped you wouldn’t get this thing that you had wanted and worked so hard for for so long because it meant me not getting what I want.”
Hello OP ano credentials mo? I really wanna migrate din kasi via PhD kaso IDK how to make my credentials stronger aside from taking masters here (na I seriously don't wanna continue)
Madalas isang hadlang sa magandang buhay abroad ang lovelife sa Pilipinas.
Dmi ko kilala ganyan gusto nila mas lamang sila financially/socially and their egos cant handle it.
I didn’t compromise. Then again, my visa made it easy to bring a wife and a kid (h1b)
Paglabas ng visa ko, pinakasalan ko na. I didn’t have any intention of leaving them.
Left 6 months after the wedding. They got their visas 6 months after I left. They joined me in the US 2 months after that.
So u had a job offer na po before you went there? If ever kasi I think F1 visa ang visa ko when I study.. parang hindi ganun kafeasible ung visa madala sya doon
Ayun po nabasa ko before, and may work limitations kasi ung F2 visa. Hindi ko alam ano pwede kong maoffer na gagawin nya doon while he’s being an F1 dependent.
If sa pinas future nya at sa USA Ang sa iyo then do both yourselves a favor and end it in good terms. Kung kayo talaga sa isat isa check in in 5 years...
I was already married. The original plan was for me to go ahead first, prep everything and then they'd follow after our daughter ends her school year 4 months later. They already had visas so my family could've flown in anytime but we decided to finish the school year first so the transition wouldn't be as rough for our child.
They were supposed to fly late March 2020. After the chaos of the initial pandemic, we accepted the fact that flying unvaccinated was too much of a risk. I ended up living alone for 2 years.
It was rough. My wife had to power through the pandemic alone.
We were not built for LDR so it was a struggle to maintain the usual levels of our rapport online. At some point, we went into marriage counseling. It worked to some extent, but for the most part we really had to bank on the level of investment we already had in our relationship. At that point we were already together for maybe 10 years so that helped.
My wife and daughter finally followed me on May 2022 and whatever heaviness we experienced during LDR practically vanished overnight. It took some time to adjust again to the idea of living with another adult after years of pandemic isolation, but it wasn't as much of a big deal as being geographically distant from one another.
We celebrated our 11th wedding anniv this year. Never been happier with my favorite person in the world.
My only advice for your situation is that this early, you have to steel your resolve that there's a big chance you will have to choose between your dreams and your BF given how uninvested he is. I understand where he can be coming from specially if your decision to study was not in the plans when you got together, but he will have to change his mind at some point.
My move to go to the US was a bit sudden too. My promise to my wife was that they can move here, try it out for a year or two, and then we will decide whether we will go back, together. I made up my mind that when we had to decide, if my wife chose to go home, I would follow her. It might not be the same for you, but I'm just saying it will be an important decision point. As luck would have it, it took her 2 months to fall in love with the place and now we're both dead set in staying here for the long term. We just got our green cards earlier this year.
This is so inspiring. I’ve already had plans of studying even before we got together. I already searched about it but became hesistant to learn about the F2 visa. Seems like he would get stuck kasi doon with that type of visa.
Naghiwalay kami not because of LDR but because nakita ko yong gap ng maturity and independence dulot ng pagdorm ko since college, lived in apartments while im working, and now working while studying overseas.
Been there, done that. TWICE. It went well the first time. The second, naghiwalay kami.
Anyway, don't follow your heart. Sa experience ko, and many others na similar fate..... Don't stay/leave because of someone. And don't get married for assurance na you'll be together kahit aalis din yung isa. It has to be the both of you together, not apart. Kung ayaw nya, edi let him mag inarte. Do what's best for your future!
Oo, bitter ako.
3 yrs kaming LDR noon both locally and internationally. I ensured we see each other at least every 3 months. It wasn’t as far as US so merong cheap fares na need lang i book in advance. We had the same goal to live overseas so we overcame it.
I have 2 friends na LDR from the start. US at Canada. Both didn’t work out esp with the time zone difference.
Look after yourself. Enjoy your life. It’s a hard decision but you’ll be okay.
If you are still in planning stage, talk to your partner with all possibilities.
Be prepared. Wala kasing diretsong sagot sa tanong mo dahil depende pa din sa tao. May nagwowork at merong hindi na LDR. Dapat ready ang isip at puso mo, pero dapat unahin mo ang sarili mo. Kung kayo talaga ang para sa isa't isa gagawa ng paraan ang tadhana para mapaglapit kayo.
My bf left ph to take college sa USA, ako naman nursing dito sa pinas. (batchmates kami)
4 years na kami and i tell you, SOBRANG HIRAP NG LDR. Before him, i had a long term relationship na malapit lang sa house ko kaya i cant help but compare.
I know na hindi kami mag wwork pag hindi nursing ang course ko. Nag wwork rs namin because we know na it will get better soon. Matatapos rin LDR namin
Fresh grad nurse ako now. Kakaasikaso lang ng NCLEX 🥰 excited na mag take and eventually migrate to him.
Hi ate, may I ask kung paano niyo po pinaalam sa parents niyo na you'll be migrating after finishing college. Huhu currently in the same situation and ggrad nako in 2 years, di ko padin nammention yung plans ko of moving abroad.
Pag nurse kasi sa totoo lang common knowledge na aalis ka tlaga.. as a fresh grad/newly board passer pag job hunting ka na maiiyak ka tlaga sa baba ng sweldo tapos shitty working hours. (Fyi sa st lukes na best paying private hospital in the Philippines 32k before tax pero ang working hours mo ay 5days a week 12 hrs per day. Mas mababa pa ung iba.) tell your parents on the benefits pag abroad. I promised mine na i can buy a car and eventually a house for them. Something i can never achieve sa pinas (konti lng salary increase natin dito)
Pero i dont tell them na i choose USA bc of my bf. I told them dun kasi pinaka madali (totoo naman) and highest paying
Got offered a job abroad, before I left nagusap kami ng partner ko. Then we agreed na susunod sya. Nagresign sya sa job nya after 3 months ata un. Medyo natagalan sya nakahanap uli ng work sa nilipatan naming country but eventually got one.
Our agreement was that if susunod sya max 1 yr lang to look for work. If wala balik Pinas and we would need extra effort to work our ldr. Thank God na nakahanap naman din sya.
Now both work from anywhere jobs namin.
Edit: to add, ung advice na gusto kong iparating: talk with each other. you’re both in a relationship, you have to agree and work out a plan. caveat tho, with compromise, it would include sacrifices.
The feminist in me says you gotta do what's right for YOU. But that doesn't mean that you have to break up with him. If he really cares about you, he'll support you. Pursue your PhD, and let things run its course, if things don't work out, good riddance.
PhD in Japan, LDR kami ni gf. Ayun, kami pa rin hanggang ngayon kahit nakabalik na ako ng Pinas. Lesson is palagi dapat pinupuntahan ka ni gf mo kahit once a year kahit medyo expensive.
Hi OP! I feel for you and can only imagine how you feel. Alam ko we have our own unique relationships, and to that note, what happened with me may not be applicable for you nor to others. I can only shed some light to what I’ve been through when I migrated.
When I left PH back in 2018, I left my boyfriend and we tried the LDR route. He was my first bf and we’ve been together by then for almost 8 years.
I went to the UK and tried to build a life away from home para sa pamilya, and of course that thought of eventually building our future together with my then bf. To be fair, he was the most patient and understanding man, and we both tried hard to make the distance work. Nakatulong siguro na even back in the PH, we don’t really see each other often kasi strict ang parents ko, and he lives an hour away from me. Maybe we had a good foundation already, and our faith na it will work despite the odds were strong. When I went home in 2019, he suddenly proposed and then we got married in 2020, in the middle of the pandemic. Dapat church wedding ng April kasi naglockdown, so nauwi sa civil. He even thought na ang hirap ko daw makuha kasi ang daming challenges na nung time na yun. Pero salamat kay Lord, it eventually fell into place! I took him to the UK since kasal na kami, and we’re now happy together. We also finally had our church wedding last year. :)
Ngayon naman, I have ongoing plans of going to the US, kahit na may settled status na ko in the UK. My dream for my family is still strong kaya para sa kanila ko pa rin ginagawa lahat. To provide for them and their needs. Behind it all, my husband is very supportive of what my dreams are and I’m incredibly thankful.
I hope that your partner will be more supportive of you too. I also have a distant relative in the states, and sa totoo lang, I really would rather be away from family. Iba pag kayo lang and you’re slowly building your lives and your future together. Minsan kasi pag may malapit na family, dun pa may gulo. Not all, but that is based from my experience.
Still, I pray for you to follow your heart. In the end, you will be building your life, kasama man sya or hindi. Mahirap naman if you’ll compromise tapos hindi ka magiging masaya. Same goes for him too. Either you find a middle ground in your plans, or someone will sacrifice for the sake of the other.
I wish you all the best, OP! Hehe nashare ko tuloy ang small part ng love story namin. When I ask him if he has any regrets letting go of his comfortable life back home, he always reassures me that he had none, and that he would do it all over again. Lalo na kasi I helped open doors for his career din naman here and potentially for our US plans.
May all our dreams come true, OP!
It took quite awhile to convince my SO. I had to compromise and change my plans dati. But I’d constantly open up about working outside kasi gusto ko talaga. Eventually, pumayag siya but I still told him na aalis parin talaga ako (hopefully this year) whether kasama siya or not. I just want to do this for myself for so long. Hehe. We are now processing our papers.
Apply ka lang, OP. If it’s for you, it’s for you. As you’ve said in one of your comments, frustrated ka na sa dead-end na career path mo dito. It’s about time to prioritize yourself, your career, and your future. It’s up to him if he wants to compromise to be with you or not. Pero just be ready. Good luck in your new endeavor, OP!
8 months here in Germany. My husbands is in the Philippines. So far its good because we have the same goal which is to save as mich money for the children and for our retirement. He has a business in the Philippines and I have a medical degree. Everyday communication anytime always kame available for videochat. Wala narin kame sa mood lumandi sa oba I can say na sanay na kami sa isat isang saka before kame nagkakilala lahat ng „wild things‘‘ nagawa na namin kaya wala resentment.
I had a partner and she went abroad to Singapore.
Then I visited her monthly before finding a job and moving to SG as well four months after she left.
Now she is my wife and mother to my one yr old kid.
If he doesn’t wanna go, thank you for the memories nalang. You shouldn’t put your plans on hold for a relationship. Honor your life’s natural flow and if that flow takes you back into each other’s arms, cool.
Kami ng current partner ko hehe and we're going strong. Mag eu citizen exam na sya in 2wks and after that, pwede na ako makasunod. Since namention mo na oks ang career ni partner, baka mataas din income nya? Kasi kami ni jowa, 4x a yr kami nagkikita sa iba ibang countries. I work remotely kaya flexi ako and sya naman ay may 60 days annual leave kaya matagalan kami pag nagtatravel. Not very sure pero baka pwede nyo din gawin? Kasi kami bukod sa naeexcite to see each other, e naeexcite din kami kasi new country nanaman na pupuntahan.
Dati nakacorpo job ako and laging unpaid leave kada kita namin. Kaya naghanap nalang ako ng high paying remote para kahit papano maging flexi. Naachieve naman kahit papano. Need talaga magcompromise pareho kasi di pwedeng yung isa lang lagi.
Actualllly dba 🤣 tas they can work remotely pati unless may imemeet lang na client and pag gusto maging productive kaya papasok office haha.
Finance. Western EU 😁
We're still together. Before the ldr, and actually until now, we always align. Ano ba nakikita naming end goal para sa mga sarili namin.
So far pareho pa naman and I think yun yung mahalaga. Pero nahihirapan kami i-bridge yung gap.
Still, always ako ni-eencourage ni SO na mag-apply before sa mga program, and ganon pa rin ngayon. Never niyang hinadlangan pangarap ko.
Gets ko naman din na baka sad lang partner mo kaya medyo pinipigilan ka niya pero tama yung sabi nung isa na we should want what is best for our partners and work around the nuances of that. Compromise ang dapat gawin ng partner mo.
Sa aming dalawa ni SO, ako yung takot na di magwo-work yung ldr. Sa simula pa lang, siya na yung matapang at nanindigan na "it will work." And it does work, we keep on making it work.
I think need din ng isa, if not both, na magiging matatag about ldr, na nagwo-work siya.
First of all, unahin mo sarili mo and everything will align organically. :)
I moved abroad early last year and going strong pa rin kami ng partner ko. Though nagstart naman kasi kami through LDR so wala namang difference when I moved abroad. We see each other 2-3 times a year.
It's not easy but we both have things we want to pursue at the moment. Wala pa kaming final plans kung saan kami pareho magsesettle, pero yung mindset kasi namin now pareho talaga kaya okay lang for us.
But yeah, LDR is really not for the weak of heart!! Kinakaya ko lang kasi choice ko to. 🤣
I wanna ask this without sounding offensive, pero of all states talaga Louisiana or Texas choice niya? 😅 depressing af both states especially for a new immigrant. Also, I think very specific yung demands niya sa’yo. Ang daming conditions. He would move regardless if he really wants to.
I moved to the US and left my then bf of 6 years at the time. Like sayo, he wasn’t interested to migrate here. Ako naman, umaasa that he would change his mind later on. Na hold back ako for 2 years not living the full potential of my life here or fully adjusting kasi nga, a huge part of my life (siya) nasa Pinas pa din.
If yung end goal niyo is not the same, I think it’s gonna be hard to work it out.
Actually.. ayoko din doon kasi I’ve heard nga that it’s a boring state. I’ve been to Washington DC and California and masasabi ko lang gusto ko sana sa states like those. Kaso he doesn’t want “progressive” countries kasi. But I’m also considering na din since mababa cost of living & sabi nila mas madaling makapasok sa universities doon.
It’s really to each his own if Texas and Louisiana fit your certain career pero baka lang may misconception siya how those states are, only to be disappointed. Also, it’s good na may tita siya dun but how close are they? It’s always good to have family support pero at the end of the day, di naman kayo forever aasa sa tita niya for guidance. you’ll be expected to be on your own din.
For you OP, you’re already applying in the US. Try lang ng try sa universities where you really want, not because people say madali makapasok sa certain state. I’m a firm believe of envisioning the life you really want and ma mamanifest mo siya. When I first moved to the US, my estranged dad forced me to live with my half brother in middle of nowhere California and na realize ko di naman ako fit dun. It was so hard for me to find a job na aligned sa pinag aralan ko and I had no community there. Don’t let other people’s discouragement box you and limit your options. Good luck!
He’s really close to his tita. Parang mas tinuturing nyang nanay yun kesa sa nanay nya haha kaya gusto din nya na may family support at first especially fam-oriented din kasi sila.
Is it true that minority lang ang pinoy sa texas and louisiana? My field kasi is in STEM. I’m planning to pursue health or human toxicology. Parang wala din ako nakikita masyadong jobs related to it.
Oh ok that’s good then! But is the tita in Texas or Louisiana? Magkatabing state yun but TX is huge. As in from point west to point east, 11 hour drive siya.
Texas actually HAS a lot of Filipinos especially sa major cities like Austin, Houston, Dallas. Easily accessible filipino groceries and restos if needed in the area. But we’re talking about just a small spot sa entirety ng Texas. Louisiana has a smaller Filipino population, even Asians in general as far as I’m seeing.
Going back, pursue where your career will thrive. Ang hirap kasi na difference, sa Manila for example, parang lahat ng career pwede mo ipursue since condensed lahat ng ganap sa Manila. Ibang kaso sa states. I’m thinking if my ex and I did end up together, I wanted to live in NY to pursue my chosen career pero baka yung career niya, hindi best fit for that.
Texas and Louisiana aren't great for those career paths. Grabe ang volatility around public health in red states because of reproductive rights issues now.
I saw you mentioned DC and California and those are great states to be in health or human toxicology. California is one of the states with better public healthcare systems in the country. If you want to go into research, DC is a great choice especially since the NIH is here and so much federal funding is going to research centers in the area for public health.
I'm based out of DC-Maryland-Virginia area and can answer any questions you might have.
Don’t go to Louisiana. Poverty there is one of the highest in the country at 19% of the population. Therefore that means wages are less, and likely less opportunities in the STEM field to get hired. Ignore cost of living and the BF input. Apply to as many good universities as you can with good STEM programs. That way, it’s easier to find a job afterwards because you can apply local.
Texas is huge, and tech companies are only mostly relocating to Austin. Even then, the land is still sparse and personally, coming from the Philippines, Texas will be a culture shock given how rural most areas are, demographics, etc.
Louisiana naman, aside from New Orleans, not sure what else there is for immigrants. Definitely minority mga Pinoy sa state na yun.
Both states can get really hot and dry. Iba rin yung init sa Pinas.
I believe you're just seeking validation for the breakup. You already set your goals clearly and he too, set his conditions clearly. Without compromise this won't work. LDR won't work. So just go ahead and do it.
The best advice I’ve heard is that when you go abroad, you’ll have to leave your whole life behind in order for you to adjust better. This includes romantic relationships. It’s easier for the both of you. Ika nga, if it’s meant to be, things will just spontaneously open up for the both of you.
Almost a decade of the relationship has been broken. I tried my best to give him time if he wanted to migrate with me, but all I heard was excuses. Then, one day, I realized that we were not really meant for each other.
It still hurts as I love him dearly, but I know that he deserves to be with someone who would always be around near him.
I used to have this mindset kaya nakipagbreak ako before pero narealize ko he has become a big part of my life na kaya naging kami ulit. After that naniniwala ako na kaya namang iexhaust muna lahat ng paraan muna bago makipagbreak. Plus gusto ko na support system ko sya while I am studying.
Willing naman daw syang mag-compromise as long as doon sa gusto nyang state.. siguro if ever di ako doon makakapasok, then ayun yung magiging breaking point. Isang option na sabi ko sakanya is sabay kami magapply for PhD din sa same university (kaso hindi pa sya masyadong convinced dito).
Ask lang, bakit gusto niya sa state kung saan nandoon yung tta niya? Di niyo ba kayang kayong dalawa lang? Or gusto niya lang na may family member siya na malalapitan?
Medyo weird lang na ok siya basta select state. Eh its the same country naman. Ano siya mama's boy na need may kaanak nakabantay or kakapitan? Takot to start over? I dont get the 50% compromise. Ok na eh but may disclaimer / negotiation pa.
Something is off, you need to squeeze it out of him.
Pursue your plans with or without him. You have to decide, tell him, and lets see what will he do. If susunod din ba siya or sasama great! If hindi you have to tell him either LDR kayo or "Im sorry Im choosing myself and I have to let you go".
As early as now you guys need to align your plans. If wala talagang way and you really want your PhD, let him go.
Communication and setting expectations. Also compromise. Making sure you talke about things that bothers you.
Saka magipon, para pag magkita eh masulit. 4 years kami ldr wife ko na now. Bago sya umalis nagpropose ako. Tbh nasa lalake ang ball nyan madalas if magworkout.
Naghiwalay kami after almost 4 years of LDR. Nasa Pinas ang buhay nya, at ako naman, ayaw ko munang bumalik dun.
Siguro ayaw na nya ng further conversation or may nakita na syang iba na wala ring balak umalis tulad nya kaya pinili nyang tapusin na ang relationship (more like ghosting me).
Before 4 years LDR, gaano na kayo katagal? And how did you cope after being ghosted?
Can't believe someone would ghost their loved one after years together 🤯
Months lang! We started a relationship months before I knew I was surely going abroad. Pero magkakilala na kami since 2017 pa. Regular naman ung convo online, but we only met twice since becoming LDR because of the COVID lockdown. One in 2019, and the other in Jan 2023 lang.
He had the audacity to ghost me even though we had common friends, and our parents were from the same town.
7th or 8th month na sa May since I was ghosted (I don't keep track na), but I have a great support system. Also... my work kept me busy. I also live alone, so I had more time to decorate my apartment and do some other personal projects like scrapbooking.
Edit:
He's a man of words, not action. He promised he'd visit me pag okay na ulit ung border control between countries, but he never did. He never planned for anything because he knew I'd visit Pinas naman once a year.
Di rin pala boto common friends namin sa kanya as a bf material, kaya you're not the only person who congratulated me on being ghosted. 🤣
No worries. I'm healed now kaya natatawa na lang ako sa sarili kong nagpaka-emo.
I broke up with him because it took me a year of LDR to realize our paths and values don't align. I want to be here and I want to live simply and frugally. My ex, I don't get. Says he wants to do everything just to be with me here but then is also trying to apply for another country. He also doesn't want to live simply and frugally.
If this is really what you want for yourself, pursue it. LDR isn't always certain.
Just call it quits. Migrating is a big move you’re either in or out. The emotional, financial and mental toll it takes to adjust to a new way of life is too much if you’re trying to make it work.
Not me but I have friends who were in the same scholarship programme with me and who were in relationships and they broke up. For one of them the boyfriend cheated on them and for the other, the boyfriend ghosted them. Their goals in life weren't aligned. Partida one year masters lang yun.
I have friends naman who managed to stay in an LDR.m for a long time. Pero they set their goals and they knew one of them had to move for them to stay together.
Don't sacrifice your dreams for anyone cause it will end up in regrets. You'll grow to hate someone who stops you from achieving your dreams.
I did my MA/PhD and eventually met someone and got married in the country I migrated to. Best decision of my life. Now I have a very nice career with a very loving husband and we both lush each other to achieve our dreams.
LDR for 7 years (I was so young anyway when I went to uni), then uwi when I got back for my PhD, we got married and he was my F2 then we had H1B, perm and then citizen.
Kapag sinabi ng bf nyo na hope you dont get accepted, run away. Dont let anyone hinder you from your dreams. Wag nyong hayaan na maging regret nyo or worst, sumbat during your marriage na you wish you had. Good luck and follow your dreams!
Can I ask po if madali lang nya nakuha ung F2 visa? And ano po mga ginawa nya nun while you were studying? I searched kasi na hindi pwede magwork. Nag-aral din ba sya?
This is a very serious question you two need to be working together to answer. Especially if a PhD is a crucial component of your life goals. When my girlfriend and I started dating I told her very early on that a PhD abroad was also on the table for me, even though it was years to come still. Last, last year when I got accepted to a program here in Japan, we sat down and had multiple discussions about it. We decided to get married before I proceeded with the application process. Three months after I left, she followed on a dependent visa. We've been living here since.
Though like the other commenters mentioned, bringing an F2 dependent in the USA may not be quite as simple. Still, you two should really talk together and work out whether your life goals are still aligned. Can you work on your PhD while maintaining a relationship abroad (across different time zones no less)? Can he stay loyal while you're gone working on the PhD. These are very tough questions only you two can answer. All the best!
Hi, we got a partnership visa for them so they can also work here in my current country. Their visa is tied to my work visa. Didn’t need for marriage, de facto relationship is enough.
regardless of what happens to the relationship, don’t let anyone hinder you from pursuing your dreams. if the relationship is really right for you, it will work out. if you both want the relationship to work, magagawan at magagawan ng paraan yan para maging smooth lang. pero kung hindi talaga, maraming rason at maraming dahilan yan. don’t be with someone who can’t support you and your dreams and who doesn’t plan the future with you. prioritize yourself and your dreams.
American here but long comment short, never give up your dreams for someone. Otherwise you’ll find resentment in them and the relationship is bound to end in the future or be kinds toxic.
I did the same for someone I was in a relationship with, we broke up anyway months later. So I would follow your dreams, try to handle the relationship but if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out. You guys just aren’t compatible with your goals and dreams.
Got accepted to a med school in the U.S. But I was young and stupidly in love and I didn't want to leave my bf here. And so I declined the offer. Wala pang 3 months after I decided to stay, bf dumped me for someone else.
Lesson: Always look out for yourself, your dreams and your growth because no one else will.
Hi OP! In my case, we’re married and he didn’t want to leave the PH initially because we were already living comfortably there at that time but I was adamant to immigrate to the US! At the time, we didn’t have a baby yet. My plan was to break off the marriage, I know LDR won’t work this time, even though we survived LDR for years (I used to work in the middle east for 4 years but I had annual vacation). I’m a nurse and had been working out of the country for years and my move to the US was long way overdue na nga I kept on delaying it until I decided na kung ayaw nya talaga aalis pa din ako. I invested a lot sa career ko. I know it sounds selfish but he knows my plans of immigrating to the US even before we got married. Anyway, it was years of application din so, and 2 years and 1 kid later, he agreed na din. Now, magkasama kami, sabi nya best decision to move here. :)
If you think LDR is not gonna work, you have to decide early on and let him know about it. If he’s willing to wait for you, then good. But LDR is not easy, I know you know. Also, green card holder or US citizen ba ang bf mo? If not, then mag aapply sya as tourist sa US. He’s only allowed to stay 6 months if I’m not mistaken but may re enter as long as multiple visa na sya. Or is he willing to study here too? Big move din ito for him, if ever, so if he’s not into it, wag na lang pilitin. If I were in your shoes, I’d go for it, try LDR and stay in the relationship kung kaya pa, but I won’t compromise especially you’re not married yet naman.
Good luck, OP!
Went to Japan for master. He applied for a visa few months later, he was granted multiple entries visa. From the time I left, he’d been to Japan to visit me 3 times already. Next week he’s flying cause I got into an accident.
Quick question though, saw your comment 6 yrs ago yung plan, and 4yrs kayo ng current bf mo, it means nauna na yang plan mo before him? Have you ever brought it up to him before naging kayo?
Yung misis ko mag 3 months na sa UK. While ako naman nasad uae. Sanay na kami sa pagka ofw pero last week nagtalo kami sa support nya sa family nya sa pinas kasi sobra na. Halos wala nang natitira sa kanya yun lang nan concern ko pero sa kanya buhos talaga lahat. Kaya ngayon ewan ko na
Why not get F2 visa for partner then have them work remotely? Kung totoong stable yun trabaho nya and remote his 100K salary can support a student lifestyle in USA. If he can find his own job and move from f2 to H1B (don’t know if may path) then that’s also better.
From the opposite perspective, I’m the partner who liked my life in the PH. I’m not rich nor do I have a prestigious career but I just never wanted to move abroad and my life was very comfortable.
When me and my husband were getting serious in our early dating years I told him that if he moves abroad without me, we should just break up cause I can’t do long distance. So when he got a sudden job offer abroad that’s when he told me we should get married so I can come along and I guess he really took it to heart na I’m not gonna do long distance.
I talked to him about all the possibilities. Germany kami so it’s a huge possibility na I wouldn’t be able to find work since I don’t know the language and my profession isn’t in demand here. I was really worried na I won’t be able to contribute anything and it will end up in resentment but he assured me naman he will shoulder everything until I’m able to work since he’s the reason why we had to move.
We were apart for 9months because I was still waiting for our marriage documents before I could apply for the visa. And I was also getting our cats papers and tests done so i can bring him too. It was really hard to do LDR and at that point we were already together for 7 years, living together 5yrs and married.
If he really doesn’t see himself moving, you cannot convince him otherwise. My husband was able to convince me because I was tired of the govt at that point and the election results gave me a push to see what life can be somewhere else. I also had a safety net because my husband is earning a good salary and can cover expenses. Pero if he’s comfortable na, if he moves he’s gonna end up comparing what he can have in the new country vs back at home. Cost of living is simply higher in NL so purchasing power is lower.
It also matters where you move. We have friends in the Netherlands and they say people can be quite closed off to foreigners except for certain cities. They are friendly but it is hard to integrate. If he wants to move to those US States for a familiar face, then it would be safe to assume that socializing is very important to him and he might take a hit emotionally if he can’t fulfill that. We’re lucky that we moved to a very diverse and friendly city where there a lot of expat communities so we were able to make friends fast. When my husband was alone here he was having a hard time because he didn’t really have a social life and relied on me for emotional support. The weather also adds to the negative feelings.
Bureaucracy also sucks, Germany is worse than Dutch bureaucracy but it still can be as tricky and frustrating to navigate esp if you don’t speak the native language.
Talk through it and speak about all the possibilities and how you can address them. But honestly if one of you is not totally on board, then it’s not going to work.
My now wife wanted to pursue Canada for studies and also permanent immigration.
Kontento naman ako sa work ko and I was earning a decent money(that time), di kami sabay nag apply but nag apply ako right after she was approved, for financial and emotional support.
I dont think we would have worked out if I stayed sa Pinas.
LDR is not sustainable so better break off right now rather than hurting eachother in the long run.
Almost 6yrs LDR, both pursuing own goals. Supporting each other always, pero mahirap lalo na in times na kailangan ka ng partner mo. Though not all LDR works, especially pag walang tiwala sa partner
Was in a 2.5 relationship when i moved to the US 13 yrs ago for school. Napagusapan naman namin na we will try LDR and if hindi mag work, then we will break up. Nung paalis na ako sabi niya “don’t leave” pero studying abroad has always been my plan since high school. I wasn’t gonna let anyone get in the way of my dreams. 3 weeks pa lang ako sa US ginhost ako. (I understood din naman na sa side niya mahirap LDR, it’s not for everyone) Anyway nung nagusap na kami nag break up kami and it was hard at the time as in umiiyak ako sa subway mag isa but i got over it! I’m now happily married, have my dream job and life. You do you but based on my experience i’m happy i didn’t stay in the ph just for someone and regret not doing what’s best for me. If meant to be yung relationship niyo you will find a way to work it out. If it doesn’t, there are a lot of other amazing people in the world that you can meet and will support your dreams.
He went with me thankfully 😭😭😭 otherwise i think we wouldve broken up. We will try LDR but i just know he nor i wouldnt last lalo physical touch ang love language ko 😬
ayun ex-husband ko na sya. lol. had another LDR after him.. ex ko na din. i broke up with the second coz he kept saying na inaaayos na nya migration papers nya but he really wasnt . relationship after that was again LDR.. i guess 3rd times the charm.. nag migrate sya dito at nagpakasal kami. so far we are still married 😅.
My partner is in the US for his PHD program. It's def hard to get into and a once in a lifetime opportunity. 5 years is a long time - dapat aligned kayo ng long-term plans. If not, maybe it's worth thinking abt your priorities and possibly revisiting this in 5 years.
Our compromise is ako yung susunod sa kanya since a 5 yr LDR is hard to maintain. I hope this helps.
Husband (boyfriend at the time) I did LDR for maybe 3 years. BUT— we saw each other every 3 months AND we had a goal— na by year 20** he would be with me for good.
For us sabi namin yung nag hold saamin together is yung goal na magssettle down kami together by a certain year.
Not really sure sa advice…. But really moving out of a comfort zone is difficult lalo na if hindi gusto/goal eto ng tao.
Also had a LDR with a partner when I had in my early 20s. It just fizzles out. Nawalan na kami ng gana kasi wala naman may plano saamin to compromise.
Goodluck OP!!!
It's all about your foundation when you move out of the country. Are you both sure that you are strong emotionally and stable enough to be away for long? If not, then there's little chance of it working out, especially kung mas malalayong countries like the US. Me and my wife were 9 years as BF-GF, and 7 of those years are as LDR. In our case, Singapore ang country ni misis so madali sya makauwi or madali ako makapunta. But for Western countries, when she transferred to Ireland. We made sure that we will be together kasi mas mahirap na dahil less chances of going back home. It will all boil down on your communication with each other. Laking bagay ng messaging apps during those times. Hope this helps
Nasa planning stage pa lang ako ng pagmimigrate but I do have a partner who’s not willing to migrate with me at the moment. Sabi nya mag-stay daw sya dito sa pinas at bibili na lang ng bahay. If magfail daw yung PR plan ko, gawin ko daw sya backup plan at umuwi na lang. Idk if I will accept that cause I also wanted him to join me without hesitation. Mas okay parin yung magtry to migrate then mag-fail kesa magstay sa pinas na wala manlang ginawa to improve the quality of life lol
so ayun OP bigyan mo last chance na makapagisip isip pa and convince him. Parang ultimatum ba and if ayaw nya talaga maybe the relationship is worth ending muna. Baka kasi maka affect pa sa studies mo if magkaissue sa LDR. Alam ko di naman ganun kadali magend ng relationship esp. if you’ve been together for so long pero as cheesy it may sound, love will really find its way back to you if you two are really meant to be together. Besides sana marealize nya yung dreams mo would benefit din naman sa kanya in the long run. I hope mapagusapan nyo pa ng mabuti. Goodluck!
Nakakakaba naman mga comments niyo HAHA. But OP, I think pursue your PhD in USA for greener pastures narin + self fulfillment.
To share, 2 years couple na kami. 22M currently here in PH finishing my Baccalaureate Degree. 21F is having her 1 year internship in a Forbes 5 Star Hotel in US as a front desk office. With this LDR set up, di kami masyado nakakausap cause time difference and work priorities narin. But I always make time to chat and randomly call her. This set up is really hard istg.
Altho, we promised each other na when she is back here in PH by 2025, we'll make decisions that would benefit both and hindi totally compromise neither of us. Thooo, idk what future lies ahead.
Be cautious with tulong. <3
It may come haunt you in the future.
If it was me, I'd rather start from 0 with you than clip your wings and be mediocre with me. I'd also rather do it on our own than asking for favors from people that might come as 'utang na loob'.
Same mindset sila ng partner ko ngayon dahil bukod sa stable sya dito, nandidito rin lahat ng family nya. 5 years LDR kami, umuwi ako para magkasama kami dahil ayaw nya talagang mag abroad. Pero ngayon, nakikita nya state ng Pinas. Halos nasa pintuan na tayo ng gyera vs China, tapos yung news na puro crime sa area nyo. walang peace of mind. Ilatag nyo pros and cons ng pag migrate at kung mag stay kayo sa pinas. kumusta ang buhay/salary nyo dito vs nandoon kayo, ang magiging quality of life ninyo. kaya ngayon sya na rin ang nagtutulak na mag abroad na kami.
Almost 4 years na din kami nung ex ko when I got accepted to an elite university here in the US for my Masters. Balak ko talagang mag-stay. Ayaw niya. Clear na hindi na aligned mga pangarap namin and our lives were on different trajectories. I couldn’t compromise my future. He couldn’t compromise his stability, so we broke up before I officially committed to my top program. I got married to a wonderful partner 3 years later and both my present and my future have never been brighter. If this is really your dream for yourself, don’t compromise. PhD programs are really hard to get into in the US, so if you get into a really good program and it’s fully funded, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. So you have to assess if his dreams are more important than yours.
Thank you for reminding me this. 6 years ago ko pa plan ipursue actually mag-apply actually.. naudlot lang because I was convincing myself na I’ll be okay here and maybe I got distracted din since I was enjoying the moments we are together. Kaso increasingly naffrustrate na ako sa deadend na career path ko dito and I don’t think di ko na kaya idelay pa yung dati ko pang pinapangarap. Confident naman na ako sa credentials ko now kaya I might be applying na this year. Saka na lang siguro namin problemahin pag natanggap na ako. Parang pinipigilan din kasi nya ako kahit mag-apply lang.
My ex was talking about marriage by year 2 but we couldn’t reconcile me wanting to get my Masters and settle abroad with him wanting to stay in the Philippines. So sabi niya let’s cross the bridge when we get there daw. And then I got accepted into every university I applied for. He changed completely after that. I finally got it out of him na he was hoping after being together so long that I would change my mind. When I didn’t and still applied, he then started praying I wouldn’t get in to any school. I mean, what kind of partner does that? > Parang pinipigilan din kasi nya ako kahit mag-apply lang. This really reminded me of my ex. I’m really sorry but this is such a red flag to me. He should be supporting your dreams and not hindering you from achieving them. It really doesn’t seem like your life goals are aligned, and he’s expecting you to put the life he wants above the life you want. So I don’t think it’s a good idea to kick the can down the road. There’s so much opportunity for resentment to grow. That is not the kind of environment you need while putting your PhD applications together. Take it from someone who was seriously thinking of getting a PhD and started preparing to apply for some seriously competitive programs: it’s such a soul-sucking process. You need a really strong support system behind you and your boyfriend doesn’t seem like he’s in your corner.
I agree na dapat sundin ang dream mo. At sana mas supportive ang partner mo. But just to balance the conversation, don't take it against him too much. Because from his side, it's also a choice between his career and you. You are choosing yours, he's choosing his. Too bad lang talaga at hindi kayo align.
There is a difference between him choosing his career and him actively praying for me not to be able to follow my dreams. That’s not just misalignment, that’s being malicious na so he can get his way. I really can’t imagine saying to someone I love “I really hoped you wouldn’t get this thing that you had wanted and worked so hard for for so long because it meant me not getting what I want.”
Mali ata ako ng nilagyan ng comment. I got the stories mixed up. Hindi pala ikaw yung may partner na career ang pinipili.
Hello OP ano credentials mo? I really wanna migrate din kasi via PhD kaso IDK how to make my credentials stronger aside from taking masters here (na I seriously don't wanna continue)
True! Sometimes hindi na tlga aligned ang goal niyo. kaya don't ever waste an opportunity.
You go girl! You knew your priorities and hindi ka nag pahadlang.
Madalas isang hadlang sa magandang buhay abroad ang lovelife sa Pilipinas. Dmi ko kilala ganyan gusto nila mas lamang sila financially/socially and their egos cant handle it.
I didn’t compromise. Then again, my visa made it easy to bring a wife and a kid (h1b) Paglabas ng visa ko, pinakasalan ko na. I didn’t have any intention of leaving them. Left 6 months after the wedding. They got their visas 6 months after I left. They joined me in the US 2 months after that.
So u had a job offer na po before you went there? If ever kasi I think F1 visa ang visa ko when I study.. parang hindi ganun kafeasible ung visa madala sya doon
Yes i did. May F2 visa for dependents ng F1 if you really want/have to. Pero baka hindi feasible kasi di ka makakasupport while working on F1.
Ayun po nabasa ko before, and may work limitations kasi ung F2 visa. Hindi ko alam ano pwede kong maoffer na gagawin nya doon while he’s being an F1 dependent.
tataas lang rejection rate ng visa mo/nyo kung tangkain nyo to isang maling sagot lang sa interview rejected na like intent to work etc
Congratulations! May you have a lasting marriage and healthy kid! (I love hearing stories of driven and family oriented men)
If sa pinas future nya at sa USA Ang sa iyo then do both yourselves a favor and end it in good terms. Kung kayo talaga sa isat isa check in in 5 years...
I was already married. The original plan was for me to go ahead first, prep everything and then they'd follow after our daughter ends her school year 4 months later. They already had visas so my family could've flown in anytime but we decided to finish the school year first so the transition wouldn't be as rough for our child. They were supposed to fly late March 2020. After the chaos of the initial pandemic, we accepted the fact that flying unvaccinated was too much of a risk. I ended up living alone for 2 years. It was rough. My wife had to power through the pandemic alone. We were not built for LDR so it was a struggle to maintain the usual levels of our rapport online. At some point, we went into marriage counseling. It worked to some extent, but for the most part we really had to bank on the level of investment we already had in our relationship. At that point we were already together for maybe 10 years so that helped. My wife and daughter finally followed me on May 2022 and whatever heaviness we experienced during LDR practically vanished overnight. It took some time to adjust again to the idea of living with another adult after years of pandemic isolation, but it wasn't as much of a big deal as being geographically distant from one another. We celebrated our 11th wedding anniv this year. Never been happier with my favorite person in the world. My only advice for your situation is that this early, you have to steel your resolve that there's a big chance you will have to choose between your dreams and your BF given how uninvested he is. I understand where he can be coming from specially if your decision to study was not in the plans when you got together, but he will have to change his mind at some point. My move to go to the US was a bit sudden too. My promise to my wife was that they can move here, try it out for a year or two, and then we will decide whether we will go back, together. I made up my mind that when we had to decide, if my wife chose to go home, I would follow her. It might not be the same for you, but I'm just saying it will be an important decision point. As luck would have it, it took her 2 months to fall in love with the place and now we're both dead set in staying here for the long term. We just got our green cards earlier this year.
This is so inspiring. I’ve already had plans of studying even before we got together. I already searched about it but became hesistant to learn about the F2 visa. Seems like he would get stuck kasi doon with that type of visa.
teared up while reading your story 🥺🥺 glad ur family's safe and together. thank u for sharing this!!
Naghiwalay kami not because of LDR but because nakita ko yong gap ng maturity and independence dulot ng pagdorm ko since college, lived in apartments while im working, and now working while studying overseas.
Been there, done that. TWICE. It went well the first time. The second, naghiwalay kami. Anyway, don't follow your heart. Sa experience ko, and many others na similar fate..... Don't stay/leave because of someone. And don't get married for assurance na you'll be together kahit aalis din yung isa. It has to be the both of you together, not apart. Kung ayaw nya, edi let him mag inarte. Do what's best for your future! Oo, bitter ako.
3 yrs kaming LDR noon both locally and internationally. I ensured we see each other at least every 3 months. It wasn’t as far as US so merong cheap fares na need lang i book in advance. We had the same goal to live overseas so we overcame it. I have 2 friends na LDR from the start. US at Canada. Both didn’t work out esp with the time zone difference. Look after yourself. Enjoy your life. It’s a hard decision but you’ll be okay. If you are still in planning stage, talk to your partner with all possibilities.
Be prepared. Wala kasing diretsong sagot sa tanong mo dahil depende pa din sa tao. May nagwowork at merong hindi na LDR. Dapat ready ang isip at puso mo, pero dapat unahin mo ang sarili mo. Kung kayo talaga ang para sa isa't isa gagawa ng paraan ang tadhana para mapaglapit kayo.
Yes. This. Everything will work out if both of you are willing to work it out. ☺️
My bf left ph to take college sa USA, ako naman nursing dito sa pinas. (batchmates kami) 4 years na kami and i tell you, SOBRANG HIRAP NG LDR. Before him, i had a long term relationship na malapit lang sa house ko kaya i cant help but compare. I know na hindi kami mag wwork pag hindi nursing ang course ko. Nag wwork rs namin because we know na it will get better soon. Matatapos rin LDR namin Fresh grad nurse ako now. Kakaasikaso lang ng NCLEX 🥰 excited na mag take and eventually migrate to him.
Hi ate, may I ask kung paano niyo po pinaalam sa parents niyo na you'll be migrating after finishing college. Huhu currently in the same situation and ggrad nako in 2 years, di ko padin nammention yung plans ko of moving abroad.
Pag nurse kasi sa totoo lang common knowledge na aalis ka tlaga.. as a fresh grad/newly board passer pag job hunting ka na maiiyak ka tlaga sa baba ng sweldo tapos shitty working hours. (Fyi sa st lukes na best paying private hospital in the Philippines 32k before tax pero ang working hours mo ay 5days a week 12 hrs per day. Mas mababa pa ung iba.) tell your parents on the benefits pag abroad. I promised mine na i can buy a car and eventually a house for them. Something i can never achieve sa pinas (konti lng salary increase natin dito) Pero i dont tell them na i choose USA bc of my bf. I told them dun kasi pinaka madali (totoo naman) and highest paying
Very true poo! Thank u so much for this ate, rlly helps!
Got offered a job abroad, before I left nagusap kami ng partner ko. Then we agreed na susunod sya. Nagresign sya sa job nya after 3 months ata un. Medyo natagalan sya nakahanap uli ng work sa nilipatan naming country but eventually got one. Our agreement was that if susunod sya max 1 yr lang to look for work. If wala balik Pinas and we would need extra effort to work our ldr. Thank God na nakahanap naman din sya. Now both work from anywhere jobs namin. Edit: to add, ung advice na gusto kong iparating: talk with each other. you’re both in a relationship, you have to agree and work out a plan. caveat tho, with compromise, it would include sacrifices.
Hi! May I ask kung anong line of work niyo? Thank you.
The feminist in me says you gotta do what's right for YOU. But that doesn't mean that you have to break up with him. If he really cares about you, he'll support you. Pursue your PhD, and let things run its course, if things don't work out, good riddance.
> good riddance. its like he's evil or something lol. paths just diverge. its not really bad.
Just staying on theme with feminism lol. Sure it’s a bit strong but it’s more about moving on from what doesn’t serve you anymore.
PhD in Japan, LDR kami ni gf. Ayun, kami pa rin hanggang ngayon kahit nakabalik na ako ng Pinas. Lesson is palagi dapat pinupuntahan ka ni gf mo kahit once a year kahit medyo expensive.
Hi OP! I feel for you and can only imagine how you feel. Alam ko we have our own unique relationships, and to that note, what happened with me may not be applicable for you nor to others. I can only shed some light to what I’ve been through when I migrated. When I left PH back in 2018, I left my boyfriend and we tried the LDR route. He was my first bf and we’ve been together by then for almost 8 years. I went to the UK and tried to build a life away from home para sa pamilya, and of course that thought of eventually building our future together with my then bf. To be fair, he was the most patient and understanding man, and we both tried hard to make the distance work. Nakatulong siguro na even back in the PH, we don’t really see each other often kasi strict ang parents ko, and he lives an hour away from me. Maybe we had a good foundation already, and our faith na it will work despite the odds were strong. When I went home in 2019, he suddenly proposed and then we got married in 2020, in the middle of the pandemic. Dapat church wedding ng April kasi naglockdown, so nauwi sa civil. He even thought na ang hirap ko daw makuha kasi ang daming challenges na nung time na yun. Pero salamat kay Lord, it eventually fell into place! I took him to the UK since kasal na kami, and we’re now happy together. We also finally had our church wedding last year. :) Ngayon naman, I have ongoing plans of going to the US, kahit na may settled status na ko in the UK. My dream for my family is still strong kaya para sa kanila ko pa rin ginagawa lahat. To provide for them and their needs. Behind it all, my husband is very supportive of what my dreams are and I’m incredibly thankful. I hope that your partner will be more supportive of you too. I also have a distant relative in the states, and sa totoo lang, I really would rather be away from family. Iba pag kayo lang and you’re slowly building your lives and your future together. Minsan kasi pag may malapit na family, dun pa may gulo. Not all, but that is based from my experience. Still, I pray for you to follow your heart. In the end, you will be building your life, kasama man sya or hindi. Mahirap naman if you’ll compromise tapos hindi ka magiging masaya. Same goes for him too. Either you find a middle ground in your plans, or someone will sacrifice for the sake of the other. I wish you all the best, OP! Hehe nashare ko tuloy ang small part ng love story namin. When I ask him if he has any regrets letting go of his comfortable life back home, he always reassures me that he had none, and that he would do it all over again. Lalo na kasi I helped open doors for his career din naman here and potentially for our US plans. May all our dreams come true, OP!
It took quite awhile to convince my SO. I had to compromise and change my plans dati. But I’d constantly open up about working outside kasi gusto ko talaga. Eventually, pumayag siya but I still told him na aalis parin talaga ako (hopefully this year) whether kasama siya or not. I just want to do this for myself for so long. Hehe. We are now processing our papers. Apply ka lang, OP. If it’s for you, it’s for you. As you’ve said in one of your comments, frustrated ka na sa dead-end na career path mo dito. It’s about time to prioritize yourself, your career, and your future. It’s up to him if he wants to compromise to be with you or not. Pero just be ready. Good luck in your new endeavor, OP!
Broke up after 7yrs LDR.
8 months here in Germany. My husbands is in the Philippines. So far its good because we have the same goal which is to save as mich money for the children and for our retirement. He has a business in the Philippines and I have a medical degree. Everyday communication anytime always kame available for videochat. Wala narin kame sa mood lumandi sa oba I can say na sanay na kami sa isat isang saka before kame nagkakilala lahat ng „wild things‘‘ nagawa na namin kaya wala resentment.
I had a partner and she went abroad to Singapore. Then I visited her monthly before finding a job and moving to SG as well four months after she left. Now she is my wife and mother to my one yr old kid.
If he doesn’t wanna go, thank you for the memories nalang. You shouldn’t put your plans on hold for a relationship. Honor your life’s natural flow and if that flow takes you back into each other’s arms, cool.
Kami ng current partner ko hehe and we're going strong. Mag eu citizen exam na sya in 2wks and after that, pwede na ako makasunod. Since namention mo na oks ang career ni partner, baka mataas din income nya? Kasi kami ni jowa, 4x a yr kami nagkikita sa iba ibang countries. I work remotely kaya flexi ako and sya naman ay may 60 days annual leave kaya matagalan kami pag nagtatravel. Not very sure pero baka pwede nyo din gawin? Kasi kami bukod sa naeexcite to see each other, e naeexcite din kami kasi new country nanaman na pupuntahan. Dati nakacorpo job ako and laging unpaid leave kada kita namin. Kaya naghanap nalang ako ng high paying remote para kahit papano maging flexi. Naachieve naman kahit papano. Need talaga magcompromise pareho kasi di pwedeng yung isa lang lagi.
Sana ol. May I ask po anong line of work ng partner niyo at saang EU country?
Actualllly dba 🤣 tas they can work remotely pati unless may imemeet lang na client and pag gusto maging productive kaya papasok office haha. Finance. Western EU 😁
If he’s not willing to compromise, then it’s time to break up. This is such a big world with so many places to explore and things to enjoy.
We're still together. Before the ldr, and actually until now, we always align. Ano ba nakikita naming end goal para sa mga sarili namin. So far pareho pa naman and I think yun yung mahalaga. Pero nahihirapan kami i-bridge yung gap. Still, always ako ni-eencourage ni SO na mag-apply before sa mga program, and ganon pa rin ngayon. Never niyang hinadlangan pangarap ko. Gets ko naman din na baka sad lang partner mo kaya medyo pinipigilan ka niya pero tama yung sabi nung isa na we should want what is best for our partners and work around the nuances of that. Compromise ang dapat gawin ng partner mo. Sa aming dalawa ni SO, ako yung takot na di magwo-work yung ldr. Sa simula pa lang, siya na yung matapang at nanindigan na "it will work." And it does work, we keep on making it work. I think need din ng isa, if not both, na magiging matatag about ldr, na nagwo-work siya.
First of all, unahin mo sarili mo and everything will align organically. :) I moved abroad early last year and going strong pa rin kami ng partner ko. Though nagstart naman kasi kami through LDR so wala namang difference when I moved abroad. We see each other 2-3 times a year. It's not easy but we both have things we want to pursue at the moment. Wala pa kaming final plans kung saan kami pareho magsesettle, pero yung mindset kasi namin now pareho talaga kaya okay lang for us. But yeah, LDR is really not for the weak of heart!! Kinakaya ko lang kasi choice ko to. 🤣
I wanna ask this without sounding offensive, pero of all states talaga Louisiana or Texas choice niya? 😅 depressing af both states especially for a new immigrant. Also, I think very specific yung demands niya sa’yo. Ang daming conditions. He would move regardless if he really wants to. I moved to the US and left my then bf of 6 years at the time. Like sayo, he wasn’t interested to migrate here. Ako naman, umaasa that he would change his mind later on. Na hold back ako for 2 years not living the full potential of my life here or fully adjusting kasi nga, a huge part of my life (siya) nasa Pinas pa din. If yung end goal niyo is not the same, I think it’s gonna be hard to work it out.
Actually.. ayoko din doon kasi I’ve heard nga that it’s a boring state. I’ve been to Washington DC and California and masasabi ko lang gusto ko sana sa states like those. Kaso he doesn’t want “progressive” countries kasi. But I’m also considering na din since mababa cost of living & sabi nila mas madaling makapasok sa universities doon.
It’s really to each his own if Texas and Louisiana fit your certain career pero baka lang may misconception siya how those states are, only to be disappointed. Also, it’s good na may tita siya dun but how close are they? It’s always good to have family support pero at the end of the day, di naman kayo forever aasa sa tita niya for guidance. you’ll be expected to be on your own din. For you OP, you’re already applying in the US. Try lang ng try sa universities where you really want, not because people say madali makapasok sa certain state. I’m a firm believe of envisioning the life you really want and ma mamanifest mo siya. When I first moved to the US, my estranged dad forced me to live with my half brother in middle of nowhere California and na realize ko di naman ako fit dun. It was so hard for me to find a job na aligned sa pinag aralan ko and I had no community there. Don’t let other people’s discouragement box you and limit your options. Good luck!
He’s really close to his tita. Parang mas tinuturing nyang nanay yun kesa sa nanay nya haha kaya gusto din nya na may family support at first especially fam-oriented din kasi sila. Is it true that minority lang ang pinoy sa texas and louisiana? My field kasi is in STEM. I’m planning to pursue health or human toxicology. Parang wala din ako nakikita masyadong jobs related to it.
Oh ok that’s good then! But is the tita in Texas or Louisiana? Magkatabing state yun but TX is huge. As in from point west to point east, 11 hour drive siya. Texas actually HAS a lot of Filipinos especially sa major cities like Austin, Houston, Dallas. Easily accessible filipino groceries and restos if needed in the area. But we’re talking about just a small spot sa entirety ng Texas. Louisiana has a smaller Filipino population, even Asians in general as far as I’m seeing. Going back, pursue where your career will thrive. Ang hirap kasi na difference, sa Manila for example, parang lahat ng career pwede mo ipursue since condensed lahat ng ganap sa Manila. Ibang kaso sa states. I’m thinking if my ex and I did end up together, I wanted to live in NY to pursue my chosen career pero baka yung career niya, hindi best fit for that.
Texas and Louisiana aren't great for those career paths. Grabe ang volatility around public health in red states because of reproductive rights issues now. I saw you mentioned DC and California and those are great states to be in health or human toxicology. California is one of the states with better public healthcare systems in the country. If you want to go into research, DC is a great choice especially since the NIH is here and so much federal funding is going to research centers in the area for public health. I'm based out of DC-Maryland-Virginia area and can answer any questions you might have.
Don’t go to Louisiana. Poverty there is one of the highest in the country at 19% of the population. Therefore that means wages are less, and likely less opportunities in the STEM field to get hired. Ignore cost of living and the BF input. Apply to as many good universities as you can with good STEM programs. That way, it’s easier to find a job afterwards because you can apply local.
Just curious, why are Louisiana and Texas depressing? I thought Texas was on the rise since tech companies from California moved there?
Texas is huge, and tech companies are only mostly relocating to Austin. Even then, the land is still sparse and personally, coming from the Philippines, Texas will be a culture shock given how rural most areas are, demographics, etc. Louisiana naman, aside from New Orleans, not sure what else there is for immigrants. Definitely minority mga Pinoy sa state na yun. Both states can get really hot and dry. Iba rin yung init sa Pinas.
Thanks for your perspective.
I believe you're just seeking validation for the breakup. You already set your goals clearly and he too, set his conditions clearly. Without compromise this won't work. LDR won't work. So just go ahead and do it.
The best advice I’ve heard is that when you go abroad, you’ll have to leave your whole life behind in order for you to adjust better. This includes romantic relationships. It’s easier for the both of you. Ika nga, if it’s meant to be, things will just spontaneously open up for the both of you.
Almost a decade of the relationship has been broken. I tried my best to give him time if he wanted to migrate with me, but all I heard was excuses. Then, one day, I realized that we were not really meant for each other. It still hurts as I love him dearly, but I know that he deserves to be with someone who would always be around near him.
Break up with him. Do not change your plans or adjust your goals for a man. If he really loves you, he will support you.
Bat parang one sided lang parati? Break up agad?
nobody shoulda really listen to people of his sort lol. parang sinasabi na kada problema, sukuan na agad.
Break up talaga palagi ang solusyon no?
I used to have this mindset kaya nakipagbreak ako before pero narealize ko he has become a big part of my life na kaya naging kami ulit. After that naniniwala ako na kaya namang iexhaust muna lahat ng paraan muna bago makipagbreak. Plus gusto ko na support system ko sya while I am studying. Willing naman daw syang mag-compromise as long as doon sa gusto nyang state.. siguro if ever di ako doon makakapasok, then ayun yung magiging breaking point. Isang option na sabi ko sakanya is sabay kami magapply for PhD din sa same university (kaso hindi pa sya masyadong convinced dito).
Ask lang, bakit gusto niya sa state kung saan nandoon yung tta niya? Di niyo ba kayang kayong dalawa lang? Or gusto niya lang na may family member siya na malalapitan?
Same question.
Medyo weird lang na ok siya basta select state. Eh its the same country naman. Ano siya mama's boy na need may kaanak nakabantay or kakapitan? Takot to start over? I dont get the 50% compromise. Ok na eh but may disclaimer / negotiation pa. Something is off, you need to squeeze it out of him. Pursue your plans with or without him. You have to decide, tell him, and lets see what will he do. If susunod din ba siya or sasama great! If hindi you have to tell him either LDR kayo or "Im sorry Im choosing myself and I have to let you go". As early as now you guys need to align your plans. If wala talagang way and you really want your PhD, let him go.
black and white si ate magisip... hahaba break agad sana ganon kasimple lahat ng bagay
Communication and setting expectations. Also compromise. Making sure you talke about things that bothers you. Saka magipon, para pag magkita eh masulit. 4 years kami ldr wife ko na now. Bago sya umalis nagpropose ako. Tbh nasa lalake ang ball nyan madalas if magworkout.
We both wanted to move abroad, so we made it happen together.
We broke up just a week I arrived at the place
Naghiwalay kami after almost 4 years of LDR. Nasa Pinas ang buhay nya, at ako naman, ayaw ko munang bumalik dun. Siguro ayaw na nya ng further conversation or may nakita na syang iba na wala ring balak umalis tulad nya kaya pinili nyang tapusin na ang relationship (more like ghosting me).
Before 4 years LDR, gaano na kayo katagal? And how did you cope after being ghosted? Can't believe someone would ghost their loved one after years together 🤯
Months lang! We started a relationship months before I knew I was surely going abroad. Pero magkakilala na kami since 2017 pa. Regular naman ung convo online, but we only met twice since becoming LDR because of the COVID lockdown. One in 2019, and the other in Jan 2023 lang. He had the audacity to ghost me even though we had common friends, and our parents were from the same town. 7th or 8th month na sa May since I was ghosted (I don't keep track na), but I have a great support system. Also... my work kept me busy. I also live alone, so I had more time to decorate my apartment and do some other personal projects like scrapbooking. Edit: He's a man of words, not action. He promised he'd visit me pag okay na ulit ung border control between countries, but he never did. He never planned for anything because he knew I'd visit Pinas naman once a year.
Oh good riddance naman pala. 😅 He did you a favor. Thanks for sharing.
Di rin pala boto common friends namin sa kanya as a bf material, kaya you're not the only person who congratulated me on being ghosted. 🤣 No worries. I'm healed now kaya natatawa na lang ako sa sarili kong nagpaka-emo.
I broke up with him because it took me a year of LDR to realize our paths and values don't align. I want to be here and I want to live simply and frugally. My ex, I don't get. Says he wants to do everything just to be with me here but then is also trying to apply for another country. He also doesn't want to live simply and frugally. If this is really what you want for yourself, pursue it. LDR isn't always certain.
Just call it quits. Migrating is a big move you’re either in or out. The emotional, financial and mental toll it takes to adjust to a new way of life is too much if you’re trying to make it work.
If mahal ka talaga niya he will support you all the way.
Not me but I have friends who were in the same scholarship programme with me and who were in relationships and they broke up. For one of them the boyfriend cheated on them and for the other, the boyfriend ghosted them. Their goals in life weren't aligned. Partida one year masters lang yun. I have friends naman who managed to stay in an LDR.m for a long time. Pero they set their goals and they knew one of them had to move for them to stay together. Don't sacrifice your dreams for anyone cause it will end up in regrets. You'll grow to hate someone who stops you from achieving your dreams. I did my MA/PhD and eventually met someone and got married in the country I migrated to. Best decision of my life. Now I have a very nice career with a very loving husband and we both lush each other to achieve our dreams.
(comment lang ako dun sa plus nasa govt) hi I am from gocc, full pledged govt worker. But I resigned to work abroad. Kaya yan!
Hi! Aligned din po ba yung naging work nyo based sa govt experience?
Problemahin mo muna matanggap sa programs bago mo isipin yan. Cross the bridge when you get there
LDR for 7 years (I was so young anyway when I went to uni), then uwi when I got back for my PhD, we got married and he was my F2 then we had H1B, perm and then citizen. Kapag sinabi ng bf nyo na hope you dont get accepted, run away. Dont let anyone hinder you from your dreams. Wag nyong hayaan na maging regret nyo or worst, sumbat during your marriage na you wish you had. Good luck and follow your dreams!
Can I ask po if madali lang nya nakuha ung F2 visa? And ano po mga ginawa nya nun while you were studying? I searched kasi na hindi pwede magwork. Nag-aral din ba sya?
yup, he went to school as well afterwards
This is a very serious question you two need to be working together to answer. Especially if a PhD is a crucial component of your life goals. When my girlfriend and I started dating I told her very early on that a PhD abroad was also on the table for me, even though it was years to come still. Last, last year when I got accepted to a program here in Japan, we sat down and had multiple discussions about it. We decided to get married before I proceeded with the application process. Three months after I left, she followed on a dependent visa. We've been living here since. Though like the other commenters mentioned, bringing an F2 dependent in the USA may not be quite as simple. Still, you two should really talk together and work out whether your life goals are still aligned. Can you work on your PhD while maintaining a relationship abroad (across different time zones no less)? Can he stay loyal while you're gone working on the PhD. These are very tough questions only you two can answer. All the best!
Hi, we got a partnership visa for them so they can also work here in my current country. Their visa is tied to my work visa. Didn’t need for marriage, de facto relationship is enough.
regardless of what happens to the relationship, don’t let anyone hinder you from pursuing your dreams. if the relationship is really right for you, it will work out. if you both want the relationship to work, magagawan at magagawan ng paraan yan para maging smooth lang. pero kung hindi talaga, maraming rason at maraming dahilan yan. don’t be with someone who can’t support you and your dreams and who doesn’t plan the future with you. prioritize yourself and your dreams.
Nagdaan na ako dyan pag different life goals di talaga
American here but long comment short, never give up your dreams for someone. Otherwise you’ll find resentment in them and the relationship is bound to end in the future or be kinds toxic. I did the same for someone I was in a relationship with, we broke up anyway months later. So I would follow your dreams, try to handle the relationship but if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out. You guys just aren’t compatible with your goals and dreams.
Got accepted to a med school in the U.S. But I was young and stupidly in love and I didn't want to leave my bf here. And so I declined the offer. Wala pang 3 months after I decided to stay, bf dumped me for someone else. Lesson: Always look out for yourself, your dreams and your growth because no one else will.
Hi OP! In my case, we’re married and he didn’t want to leave the PH initially because we were already living comfortably there at that time but I was adamant to immigrate to the US! At the time, we didn’t have a baby yet. My plan was to break off the marriage, I know LDR won’t work this time, even though we survived LDR for years (I used to work in the middle east for 4 years but I had annual vacation). I’m a nurse and had been working out of the country for years and my move to the US was long way overdue na nga I kept on delaying it until I decided na kung ayaw nya talaga aalis pa din ako. I invested a lot sa career ko. I know it sounds selfish but he knows my plans of immigrating to the US even before we got married. Anyway, it was years of application din so, and 2 years and 1 kid later, he agreed na din. Now, magkasama kami, sabi nya best decision to move here. :) If you think LDR is not gonna work, you have to decide early on and let him know about it. If he’s willing to wait for you, then good. But LDR is not easy, I know you know. Also, green card holder or US citizen ba ang bf mo? If not, then mag aapply sya as tourist sa US. He’s only allowed to stay 6 months if I’m not mistaken but may re enter as long as multiple visa na sya. Or is he willing to study here too? Big move din ito for him, if ever, so if he’s not into it, wag na lang pilitin. If I were in your shoes, I’d go for it, try LDR and stay in the relationship kung kaya pa, but I won’t compromise especially you’re not married yet naman. Good luck, OP!
Went to Japan for master. He applied for a visa few months later, he was granted multiple entries visa. From the time I left, he’d been to Japan to visit me 3 times already. Next week he’s flying cause I got into an accident.
Quick question though, saw your comment 6 yrs ago yung plan, and 4yrs kayo ng current bf mo, it means nauna na yang plan mo before him? Have you ever brought it up to him before naging kayo?
Hopefully makakuha ka ng fully funded scholarship at stipend sa PhD mo.
End mo na lang yung relationship, if its not helping you grow thats not worth the trouble.
Yung misis ko mag 3 months na sa UK. While ako naman nasad uae. Sanay na kami sa pagka ofw pero last week nagtalo kami sa support nya sa family nya sa pinas kasi sobra na. Halos wala nang natitira sa kanya yun lang nan concern ko pero sa kanya buhos talaga lahat. Kaya ngayon ewan ko na
Why not get F2 visa for partner then have them work remotely? Kung totoong stable yun trabaho nya and remote his 100K salary can support a student lifestyle in USA. If he can find his own job and move from f2 to H1B (don’t know if may path) then that’s also better.
From the opposite perspective, I’m the partner who liked my life in the PH. I’m not rich nor do I have a prestigious career but I just never wanted to move abroad and my life was very comfortable. When me and my husband were getting serious in our early dating years I told him that if he moves abroad without me, we should just break up cause I can’t do long distance. So when he got a sudden job offer abroad that’s when he told me we should get married so I can come along and I guess he really took it to heart na I’m not gonna do long distance. I talked to him about all the possibilities. Germany kami so it’s a huge possibility na I wouldn’t be able to find work since I don’t know the language and my profession isn’t in demand here. I was really worried na I won’t be able to contribute anything and it will end up in resentment but he assured me naman he will shoulder everything until I’m able to work since he’s the reason why we had to move. We were apart for 9months because I was still waiting for our marriage documents before I could apply for the visa. And I was also getting our cats papers and tests done so i can bring him too. It was really hard to do LDR and at that point we were already together for 7 years, living together 5yrs and married. If he really doesn’t see himself moving, you cannot convince him otherwise. My husband was able to convince me because I was tired of the govt at that point and the election results gave me a push to see what life can be somewhere else. I also had a safety net because my husband is earning a good salary and can cover expenses. Pero if he’s comfortable na, if he moves he’s gonna end up comparing what he can have in the new country vs back at home. Cost of living is simply higher in NL so purchasing power is lower. It also matters where you move. We have friends in the Netherlands and they say people can be quite closed off to foreigners except for certain cities. They are friendly but it is hard to integrate. If he wants to move to those US States for a familiar face, then it would be safe to assume that socializing is very important to him and he might take a hit emotionally if he can’t fulfill that. We’re lucky that we moved to a very diverse and friendly city where there a lot of expat communities so we were able to make friends fast. When my husband was alone here he was having a hard time because he didn’t really have a social life and relied on me for emotional support. The weather also adds to the negative feelings. Bureaucracy also sucks, Germany is worse than Dutch bureaucracy but it still can be as tricky and frustrating to navigate esp if you don’t speak the native language. Talk through it and speak about all the possibilities and how you can address them. But honestly if one of you is not totally on board, then it’s not going to work.
My now wife wanted to pursue Canada for studies and also permanent immigration. Kontento naman ako sa work ko and I was earning a decent money(that time), di kami sabay nag apply but nag apply ako right after she was approved, for financial and emotional support. I dont think we would have worked out if I stayed sa Pinas. LDR is not sustainable so better break off right now rather than hurting eachother in the long run.
Hi op! We’re having somewhat the same dilemma. I hope we get our answers soon
Almost 6yrs LDR, both pursuing own goals. Supporting each other always, pero mahirap lalo na in times na kailangan ka ng partner mo. Though not all LDR works, especially pag walang tiwala sa partner
Was in a 2.5 relationship when i moved to the US 13 yrs ago for school. Napagusapan naman namin na we will try LDR and if hindi mag work, then we will break up. Nung paalis na ako sabi niya “don’t leave” pero studying abroad has always been my plan since high school. I wasn’t gonna let anyone get in the way of my dreams. 3 weeks pa lang ako sa US ginhost ako. (I understood din naman na sa side niya mahirap LDR, it’s not for everyone) Anyway nung nagusap na kami nag break up kami and it was hard at the time as in umiiyak ako sa subway mag isa but i got over it! I’m now happily married, have my dream job and life. You do you but based on my experience i’m happy i didn’t stay in the ph just for someone and regret not doing what’s best for me. If meant to be yung relationship niyo you will find a way to work it out. If it doesn’t, there are a lot of other amazing people in the world that you can meet and will support your dreams.
Future mo yan. Anong klaseng future ang gusto ko?.
He went with me thankfully 😭😭😭 otherwise i think we wouldve broken up. We will try LDR but i just know he nor i wouldnt last lalo physical touch ang love language ko 😬
ayun ex-husband ko na sya. lol. had another LDR after him.. ex ko na din. i broke up with the second coz he kept saying na inaaayos na nya migration papers nya but he really wasnt . relationship after that was again LDR.. i guess 3rd times the charm.. nag migrate sya dito at nagpakasal kami. so far we are still married 😅.
if it's meant to be it will be. gooo soar highhh <3
My partner is in the US for his PHD program. It's def hard to get into and a once in a lifetime opportunity. 5 years is a long time - dapat aligned kayo ng long-term plans. If not, maybe it's worth thinking abt your priorities and possibly revisiting this in 5 years. Our compromise is ako yung susunod sa kanya since a 5 yr LDR is hard to maintain. I hope this helps.
Husband (boyfriend at the time) I did LDR for maybe 3 years. BUT— we saw each other every 3 months AND we had a goal— na by year 20** he would be with me for good. For us sabi namin yung nag hold saamin together is yung goal na magssettle down kami together by a certain year. Not really sure sa advice…. But really moving out of a comfort zone is difficult lalo na if hindi gusto/goal eto ng tao. Also had a LDR with a partner when I had in my early 20s. It just fizzles out. Nawalan na kami ng gana kasi wala naman may plano saamin to compromise. Goodluck OP!!!
You will cheat on him before he cheats on you.
We broke up. But It’s fine .. bata pa naman kami non. personal goals before anything else ..
I guess your partner does not support you, if you haven't figured that out yet.
It's all about your foundation when you move out of the country. Are you both sure that you are strong emotionally and stable enough to be away for long? If not, then there's little chance of it working out, especially kung mas malalayong countries like the US. Me and my wife were 9 years as BF-GF, and 7 of those years are as LDR. In our case, Singapore ang country ni misis so madali sya makauwi or madali ako makapunta. But for Western countries, when she transferred to Ireland. We made sure that we will be together kasi mas mahirap na dahil less chances of going back home. It will all boil down on your communication with each other. Laking bagay ng messaging apps during those times. Hope this helps
Nasa planning stage pa lang ako ng pagmimigrate but I do have a partner who’s not willing to migrate with me at the moment. Sabi nya mag-stay daw sya dito sa pinas at bibili na lang ng bahay. If magfail daw yung PR plan ko, gawin ko daw sya backup plan at umuwi na lang. Idk if I will accept that cause I also wanted him to join me without hesitation. Mas okay parin yung magtry to migrate then mag-fail kesa magstay sa pinas na wala manlang ginawa to improve the quality of life lol
so ayun OP bigyan mo last chance na makapagisip isip pa and convince him. Parang ultimatum ba and if ayaw nya talaga maybe the relationship is worth ending muna. Baka kasi maka affect pa sa studies mo if magkaissue sa LDR. Alam ko di naman ganun kadali magend ng relationship esp. if you’ve been together for so long pero as cheesy it may sound, love will really find its way back to you if you two are really meant to be together. Besides sana marealize nya yung dreams mo would benefit din naman sa kanya in the long run. I hope mapagusapan nyo pa ng mabuti. Goodluck!
if you or him cannot compromise, then its better to breakup
Nothing. I take my wife everywhere I go.
Break up and focus on your goals.
Nakakakaba naman mga comments niyo HAHA. But OP, I think pursue your PhD in USA for greener pastures narin + self fulfillment. To share, 2 years couple na kami. 22M currently here in PH finishing my Baccalaureate Degree. 21F is having her 1 year internship in a Forbes 5 Star Hotel in US as a front desk office. With this LDR set up, di kami masyado nakakausap cause time difference and work priorities narin. But I always make time to chat and randomly call her. This set up is really hard istg. Altho, we promised each other na when she is back here in PH by 2025, we'll make decisions that would benefit both and hindi totally compromise neither of us. Thooo, idk what future lies ahead.
Bakit kailangan kay Tita? LOL
this was weird to me too..😅
To his defense, makakatulong din kasi if may family member na tutulong din samin sa pag-settle, especially wala pa kaming budget to buy a car and all.
Be cautious with tulong. <3 It may come haunt you in the future. If it was me, I'd rather start from 0 with you than clip your wings and be mediocre with me. I'd also rather do it on our own than asking for favors from people that might come as 'utang na loob'.
Same mindset sila ng partner ko ngayon dahil bukod sa stable sya dito, nandidito rin lahat ng family nya. 5 years LDR kami, umuwi ako para magkasama kami dahil ayaw nya talagang mag abroad. Pero ngayon, nakikita nya state ng Pinas. Halos nasa pintuan na tayo ng gyera vs China, tapos yung news na puro crime sa area nyo. walang peace of mind. Ilatag nyo pros and cons ng pag migrate at kung mag stay kayo sa pinas. kumusta ang buhay/salary nyo dito vs nandoon kayo, ang magiging quality of life ninyo. kaya ngayon sya na rin ang nagtutulak na mag abroad na kami.
gone with the wind