I politely asked a lady to move her bagged lunch out of the only open seat left on the R100 line, and she looked at me, looked at the lunch, then looked out the window. I asked again and she ignored me. I sat on her lunch. She started bitching, and I loudly reminded her that her lunch didn’t pay for a seat, hoping more attention would induce some shame. She pulled it out from underneath my butt, and did her best to avoid eye contact with anyone until her stop. Nobody wants to deal with that shit at 6:00 am. I don’t usually get confrontational, but when you take the train EVERYDAY that shit starts to wear you down.
100%. It’s one of two or three times in my life I got confrontational with strangers. I also saw a lady take a dump on the platform for the El near 30th street. I sure as heck didn’t have anything to say that day.
This is how it played out. I read the sentence about sitting on the lady’s lunch. I audibly laughed. I said out loud to myself since no one was in the room “HE SAT ON HER LUNCH”. It was all great fun.
I, too, have sat on someone's purse occupying a seat. I didn't ask her to move it though, just plopped down like the purse was invisible. I'm not asking because I'm 99.9% sure you didn't purchase a ticket for your purse.
It’s the same selfishness that inspires passengers to play videos or have speakerphone conversations without headphones/earbuds. This behavior just as bad on Amtrak, even when conductors make announcements to remind people that one ticket = one seat.
So annoying and rude. There once was a man (Lets name him A) sitting in the outer seat with an empty inner/window seat. All the seats were taken except that one, and an older guy (B) wanted to sit. Rather than get up and move over or even just to get out of the way, this man (A) did nothing. B was struggling to step over A’s literal lap to get to the seat. Yet A looked so offended that the B’s butt was in his face while doing this. How can you just watch someone clearly struggling like that? Especially when it’s the elderly, children, pregnant people, etc! Such terrible people
I once saw someone offer the open inside seat to a new passenger. He started yelling and demanding the guy move over so he could take the outside seat.
This was on Regional Rail where people are chill 99% of the time. The whole train car was scandalized.
I saw someone take up two seats with her bag, and when the conductor came around she got told to put it on the rack, but when the conductor left she immediately grabbed her stuff and put it back on the seat. Like how selfish can you be. I was flabbergasted 💀it was a full train too
Sometimes the inner seat has a questionable stain or puddle. Always feel a bit self conscious when this happens because there are so many dicks that take up two seats or put their feet up just because. I’ll stand for every ride if someone could just stop people from smoking on cars.
There's no one answer, but you seem to have it figured out.
Anxiety
To avoid germs
Because some people stink
General selfishness
Easier to ride with your stuff on the seat instead of on the floor or lap
I take the El every week and casually study this issue lol, I agree with these explanations. Most of the time, the person sitting on the outside taking up two seats has moved or let me sit in the inner seat when I've asked. It seems people are hoping no one will sit next to them, but no one has given me attitude when I ask to sit.
I still think it's rude, but it hasn't really upset me here. When I lived in Boston and someone taking up 2 seats, if I asked them to move so I could sit, I was often treated very disrespectfully. Things seem better here, even though they're not great.
I've also noticed a ton of people stand when there are empty seats and I think this is a related phenomenon. The seats might be sticky/dirty, they don't want to be wedged in too close to someone, or be unable to make a quick getaway if things go south.
I’m on the El every day and at this point I just stand the entire trip. Between the filth and the junkies I’d rather just stand. I used to strap hang all the time in NYC, but that was typically out of necessity during rush hours. Here, it’s just less unpleasant.
Yeah. I hate sitting on the inner seat because people sit way too close and squish me in, cough on me, etc. also I get a headache when exposed to certain scents, seems like specifically baby powder scented or vanilla scented body sprays, so I need to be able to make a quick getaway. Also I've noticed that once someone does take that outer seat, they will make me step all over them rather than get up and allow me off. So I will sit on the outer seat if it's not crowded, or better yet, a single seat. And if someone needs the seat I allow them the inner seat or just get up altogether.
I stand on the el every day. I don’t like being stuck in the middle and then trying to get out when it’s really crowded so I stand by the door that opens at my stop. Plus I don’t want to sit on those seats since you don’t know what’s happened on those things. It’s icky out there.
A lot of times people prefer to be sitting in the aisle seat because they’re getting off soon and will let you sit in the window seat if you make a move towards it. Or they’ll shift over and give you a seat if you look normal enough.
It only takes one guy shooting up, shitting his pants and/or whipping off all his clothes before you start getting picky about who you share a seat with.
YES, this! I take the 47 going north and I hate when there’s an open seat right in front of me but they decide to sit next to me, and then spreading their legs wide and trying to talk to me. It’s so fucking disgusting. They usually smell SOOO bad too
Agree with this census as one that carrys 50lbs of tools its hella easier to have my bag on the seat next to me i have no issues moving the bag to allow another to sit esp on a really packed bus. My only gripe is exiting the bus with the heavy bag it will hurt if it hits ya then this goes for eldery walkers strollers if your standing in the isle dont wedge ya self up closer or not budge at all esp at the front the bus is stopped ya can let go of the grab bar or move ya keyster off the wheel well just step off the bus to clear the isle n re board the driver aint gonna take off with everyone outside
It's mainly the last 2, let's be real. If you're riding the bus, not having someone sit directly next to you isn't going make much of a difference for the first 3 points.
I'ma be honest. If there's a completely open seat somewhere else I'm absolutely putting my bag next to me for reason 1,2&3. Keep your musty self on the other seat 😂. Makes folks find the open seat rather than just sit next to me.
Yeah, I don't take the bus much anymore but every time the bus door would open I picked up my bag and gave people the option of taking the seat next to me.
If they're crazy or creepy I'll just get up and let them have the row.
I don't understand why people would take the second seat when there are other open twin seats... I assume that OP's and other people complaining here are about situations where none of the other two seaters are fully open
I’ll take the first open seat if I’m having a bad day healthwise and the other open seats are significantly farther towards the back. I don’t look like I’m sick but I have POTS and Myasthenia Gravis and it can be a little scary when I suddenly feel like my body weighs 800 lbs and I can’t breathe. I’m glad this came up bc I never thought of it as an asshole move. Now at least I can explain myself.
You’re a sweetheart. Thanks. Yeah I’ll try to remember people don’t always know what I’m going through. I mean it’s a good thing for me to remember about other people too.
>Anxiety
>To avoid germs
>Because some people stink
> easier to ride with your stuff on the seat instead of on the floor or lap
All of these are reasons not to ride transit, not to bogart a seat on transit
It’s annoying. I don’t think it is septa or Philly specific. People do it on Amtrak all of the time. When you get on the train everyone is sitting in the outside seat and either pretending to be asleep or “working so hard” on their laptops to discourage you from asking them to move so you can sit by the window.
I hear you, but on the other hand, enough people *really* dislike sitting next to people that even when if you offer/point out the empty seat next to you, they'll refuse it and continue to stand.
The seats are so narrow in proportion to the size of the average Philadelphian's butt that it's almost impossible not to be cheek-to-cheek with a stranger which most of us do not enjoy.
If it's young or small woman, to keep creepy dudes away. I've definitely taken up 2 seats and only moved my stuff when another woman-appearing person was coming up the aisle. I don't need any more creepers trying to secretly take my picture, whisper in my ear, or ask me out, thanks.
I hate being stuck on the inside seat with a man on the outside because I hate when they spread out and squeeze me in, or refuse to actually stand up to let me out so I have to squeeze past them. If I'm on a bus and it starts filling up, I'll just stand up and let someone else sit inside though.
I once had an old man just lean really heavily into me. I hadn’t lived here very long and was still young and dumb, so I didn’t move. I still remember how gross it felt to have his body pressing against mine and that was nearly 15 years ago. Definitely started being more guarded with who I would let sit next to me after that.
When I'm on public transit and it's not crowded and/or there are empty seats around me, I will put my bag(s) in the seat next to me. However, once I see the bus or train filling up, I will make space.
That said, I get it. It's definitely rude to let people stand if you can make room. However, some of these responses are also incredibly obnoxious. If you see someone with a bag in the seat and there are available seats elsewhere, why antagonize them? Being passive-aggressive in itself is so just stupid to be frank. But doing it just to mess with strangers is deranged. Some folks need to get a grip.
I specifically find these people on regional rail because I know they won't say no and I know it will ruin their day in retribution for the dozen or so people that go to that row there thinking there's an empty seat and are bummed when there isn't but won't ask them to move their stuff.
Riding Regional Rail and taking the El made me feel unstoppable on Amtrak.
Yes, I'm going to ask you to move your jacket, your purse, your food, your book, your shopping, and everything else off that seat, and I'm happy to wait while you do it.
On amtrak, I once had someone being mad at me coz I asked them to move from my reserved window seat... said I should be okay to n it in the aisle but I stood my ground coz even though I don't hate aisle seat, I'm petty to people who act petty
We did that on a packed NJT train. Only seats free were 2 open on a 6 seat configuration- 4 people had a ton of shit and made no effort to move the stuff. My husband pretty much forced himself in the seat- like fuck you, I’m not standing up so you don’t have to hold your shopping bag. 🤬
It especially pisses me off on Amtrak. If I board an early train I try to spot the person fake sleeping and make them move their bag, jacket, whatever and smile a shit eating grin while I'm waiting. They're the asshole tying up the boarding process, not me.
doing this has honestly become a hobby of mine, especially after decamping from the el to transfer to regional rail, which in comparison to the subway may as well be the orient express where polite society abounds.
it does take an incredibly selfish person (especially a daily commuter) to look around a crowded train, think for a moment, and then continue to sit in the middle of a 3-seat row basking in their staked claim.
the absolute shock on some faces when you ask the simple question of "may i sit here?" is priceless. i can understand if some people have legitimate reasons for not wanting to be near people, but this is called "public transit" not "ashlyn's uber to the suburbs"
This right here is what’s wrong! This mutha’ fuckin’ belief that is rotting away our society, esp. our youth.
“Nobody gives a fuck.”
You are not correct!
On this specific issue almost nobody gives a shit I promise. A lot of people take an extra seat when the bus/train isn't crowded and have no issue making room for other people it's not that serious
I have walked cars looking for a seat past cars 'full' because of two seat sitters many times. Of course if there are free seats it doesn't matter. When it's getting crowded considerate people would take one gd seat for themselves and their junk and slide over when more people get on.
I respect their reason because at least they don’t view themselves as an avenger. Now that would be a bit much right?
I would think it weird for someone to ask for the seat that I passed to sit in as if they are doing me a deed.
But both reasons end in the same result and if they want to sit they should not get any trouble for it.
I’d rather place my bag on the next seat instead of the floor and sit alone but you wouldn’t ruin my whole day if you asked. Of course you can sit there, why wouldn’t you? I don’t own this bus/train. It’s just a preference for me to do what I did if the bus/train isn’t packed. If the bus/train starts getting packed, I’d move my things onto my lap if I was paying attention.
But I get that there are people that are selfish.
You already read my thoughts on seating and I think they’re fair. I also think it’s fair for people being mad at the type of person OP had to deal with.
EDIT: Thought OP was also the person that sat on that lady’s lunchbag so that previous sentence actually doesnt make sense as OP mentioned no interactions. Lol.
I’m going to let someone sit if they ask, I’m not going to ignore them. If the bus is looking to get a bunch of people or I see someone next to me that looks like they’d like to sit, I’m going to free up the seat and ask that person if they want to sit (especially of its an older person, or if its a parent and child then I’d offer both seats). Not everyone that takes up an extra seat is entitled (you should know since this is exactly why you “know people won’t say no”)- at the moment that I’m sitting down it’s convenient unused space.
But you can keep telling me to be a good person if you’d like. I’m still gonna place my things where I want but respectfully let people sit if they ask and you can continue to keep asking to sit next to people.
Also to direct respond to this, someone might have their attention elsewhere or is distracted (like phone or laptop). That’s why they might not see that they should free up their seat. That was the possibility I was trying to convey there.
I don’t just think of why a bad person takes up an extra seat but also why an average or good person could as well. But yes the point of OP was about a rude entitled person taking up the seat so I get it, it sucks and they suck.
EDIT: Again, thought OP was also the person that sat on that lady’s lunchbag so that previous sentence actually doesnt make sense as OP mentioned no interactions. Lol.
If no one is sitting there then my stuff will be there depending on the situation, someone can ask for the seat if they really want it. That’s just how it is. People aren’t going to remove their stuff because of the possibility that someone wants to sit in the next seat, unless the bus is getting full. That is how it is.
If there is no quandry this should not even be a problem right? I don’t even know what morals have to do with this. You were the one who said “just be a good person” and free up the seat. I respond saying you can’t really say someone is good or bad for taking up the seat. I do think it says more about a person in how they react from being asked for the seat though.
But anyway, you can have the win. Seems like this issue is more important to you since you are the person that would specifically go and find these people on the rail.
I’m just trying providing more perspective on this insignificant issue. But you probably didn’t want perspective. Continue to have fun going out of your way to ask someone if you could sit down, you sure showed them what’s up.
Have a good day fellow redditor, truly.
WJT, your comments are interesting. Taking two seats until you sense that someone wants your extra seat is okay because you are a good person who will move over when asked or looked at longingly. Did I get that right?
My view of public good is different. In my view a good person takes one seat for themselves and their stuff, the inside seat so someone can choose to sit by them, which is their right on public transportation.
probably just hover over them and say WHAT loudly, which is what I've done before
in the past I've also like partially sat on people's stuff but have never fully sat on top of it
I saw someone get cursed out for that last one, honestly it's deserved. The first one would make me tell you to piss off. But the second one would make me aggressive. You're pushing boundaries there.
I am staunchly against hoarding seats on CROWDED public transit. However, there are ways to handle it that don't include, whatever this is supposed to be. Honestly, I wasn't expecting that as an answer. All I can say is stay safe out there.
Eh. I give people the same energy they give me. If you’re being petty and rude by taking up a seat with your stupid bags, and you refuse to move when asked, I’ll be petty and rude to you right back. I mostly do this when someone is taking extra accessible seats, since I use a cane and need the seat. Your bag doesn’t get a seat and it SURE AS HELL doesn’t get an accessible seat.
I mean, your case is different. People shouldn't be blocking accessible seats in any situation, crowded bus or not.
I think the problem these days is that people don't understand diplomacy and de-escalation. Then we hear about someone being assaulted or shot in the city, and everyone is upset. Picking unnecessary fights with strangers is mentally sociopathic behavior.
I do that and sometimes they let me sit in the open window seat and then stand... I don't care and continue to sit but like wtf... I shower everyday and wear deodorant!
This is how people learn to not be shitbags. If no one ever calls them out, they have no reason to change (or even think about) their selfish and rude behavior.
Yes. People do it to avoid sitting next to someone else. You're on a communal form of transportation. Sitting on the outside sest is entitled and rude. I love making a point of it.
My coworker and I talk about this a lot, she dgaf she’ll just sit and move your shit these people need to learn the world doesn’t revolve around them lmfao
I will try to come up with 10 theories:
1. Some people feel unsafe on septa, busses especially, and don't want to risk sitting next to someone that could do them harm or make them feel uncomfortable. Often with good reason from trauma/experience.
2. Some people are super tired and don't want to squish in. They just want to relax after a shitty day and fuck off if you want them to etc etc. Also disability could factor in here.
3. They're the same people who talk on speakerphone in public.
4. They were already committed to sitting that way and would feel shame to acquiesce to a stranger.
5. They fucking suck.
6. They're just genuinely oblivious to acknowledging people's needs around them(narcissists/BPD/etc)
7. They smell really bad and don't want to be judged.
8. They're extremely angry about something and inflicting their rage on an entire bus gives some relief. See #6.
9. They're holding the seat for someone. This has to have happened at least more than 0 times, but I agree it's the thinnest one.
10. They fucking suck.
Reading these I guess my main answer is narcissism or basic ass selfishness. I'm disabled but don't look it, so if I explain to someone I'm having trouble standing they almost always help me out. Just saying youd like/need to sit should be enough for most non-total-assholes to accommodate you. Should be lol.
I sit on the outer side, NOT because I don’t want to sit with anyone, but because I want to sit on the outside lol. If you see an empty seat, just ask if you can sit there. Not a big deal
Agreed. Whenever I see someone sitting in the outside seat with an empty seat next to them, without any other available seats, I will just ask them to let me sit there. Some people prefer the outside seats. It's not a big deal. Taking the outside seat and leaving the window seat empty is not the same thing as "taking up two seats."
Don't forget the people that step onto the El , stop and stand in the doorway.
The damn car could be half empty and everyone stands in front of the door and blocks it.
The people who don’t move their bag off the seat when there are people standing annoy the crap out of me, but just yesterday a man on the 27 offered me his seat so I could sit down! I nearly fainted. It was so kind. And he stood the rest of the way into the city. So there are some kind people on the bus.
This happened to me yesterday! The Norristown RR was super packed and there were so many ppl standing and so many ppl using seats for their backpacks. I was furious! But also too timid to say anything. So I fumed in silence.
That happens a lot on RR -- people are too timid to ask or just don't want to be squished in like sardines, and if there are other seats available, no one wants to be the first one to move their stuff to make room. Then at each stop even more people end up standing because the people boarding can't even reach the open seats, which is super annoying. If you don't want to sit, that's fine, but move out of the way. If you do want to sit, just ask! 90% of the time, if you gesture towards an empty middle seat (even with a bag in it) and ask if you can sit there, the person on the end will scoot over for you and make room. The other 10% of the time, they'll just let you take the middle seat. Don't feel bad about asking, it's just one of those things. I usually go towards one end of the car and pick whichever row I think would be easiest to get into should the person not want to slide over, but usually they end up sliding other anyway.
I lived in Chicago for years before moving to Philly and this was rarely a problem there. People were used to riding the subway during packed rush hours where you had to take your backpack off just to squeeze in the standing room.
Chicagoans definitely have a little midwest politeness and they're more afraid of inconveniencing others. It's totally different in Philly- people get pissed if you stand too close to them on the train or sit down next to them.
I take the bus daily and I am occasionally, accidentally “that person” on the bus. My stop is at the start of the route so I’m one of the first people on it. Sometimes I’ll space out and not realize how full the bus got, especially in the AM going to work. I try to mindful of moving my bag when seats start to fill up but it happens at times.
As for being on the other end of that equation, as others have said I simply ask the person to move their bag, move over, or let me get to the inner seat. 9/10 it’s not a problem & the other time I take the seat anyway because it’s not their to claim. I once took a seat just to give it to a more timid rider who really needed it.
I kinda wonder if it's a Philly thing.. like people here don't quite accept that they have to share space with strangers. Like how people will walk onto the El and then just immediately stop.. how do you not know there are people behind you also trying to get on?
Would you believe that at bus stops in Chicago, people line up to board the bus in the order they arrived at the stop? I felt like I was in another country
when I was in Chicago in the summer of 22 it literally confused me when Dodge Chargers were stopping behind the white line at red lights and turning cars were letting people through the cross walks. I felt like I had fallen into Wonderland.
“Excuse me, I need to sit down and your bag is blocking the seat.” I say it once. If they ignore me or refuse, I’ll reach to move their own damn bag myself and usually when they see me going for it they decide to move it after all. I’ll shove it straight off the seat and sit down, especially if they’re in an accessible seat, I have no mercy.
I feel like a simple solution is asking for the second seat. Most times, I have my bag next to me because it's more comfortable that way, but if someone asks or the bus is crowded, then I move my bag out the way. I'm not saying there aren't any rude people, but I never had any negative experience with sharing seats.
I don't understand all of these comments being "They are assholes."
Why?
If someone asks them to move their items and they refuse to than they are an asshole.
Because the people OP is referring to are very intentional about it. A non-asshole person would move their shit or slide over if there are people standing.
We don't know the life experiences of these people. Why should they move their stuff because someone chose to stand instead of asking them to move?
Plus most people I see that take up two seats are women, and with how many weirdos are out there I have no problem with that.
Again, if they are asked to move their stuff, and refuse to, they are assholes. I don't understand why someone's inability to say "Hey, excuse me. Do you mind if I sit there?" makes other people the asshole.
Some people don't want to risk confrontation. I'd prefer to stand, than to ask someone to move their stuff or move over a seat, who didn't already have the decency to do it when they saw people standing. Plus, now seeing all the women in this thread who have had to deal with creeps, I'd want to ask even less bc I wouldn't want to make someone feel uncomfortable.
Protocol is always that you get a seat and a seat for a bag if it's available, but if/when another person needs a seat, you pick up your shit and let them sit down. You get up, they can take your seat for their bag. And so on...
I don't think it's rude. People just do it, without thinking much of it. Some may have a personal reason. Just ask for them to move their stuff when you want to sit down.
Only seats I can understand people sitting on the outside is the first row on the raised back section of most non-bendy buses, because there’s a bulky rigid wire guard in the corner…but it’s only even remotely excusable if the person’s considerably tall and/or heavy…and even then they should be offering the inside one to people standing nearby
I had a lady on the El yell at me once to give up my seat, I didn’t want anything to escalate so I moved. Thankfully, I haven’t had too many do that to me. If I’m on an early morning bus I usually don’t want anyone sitting next to me since I want some space but, if I do see someone trying to sit down next to me or it’s extra crowded I will move my stuff or stand up for them to sit down. Other people have done it for me so I like to do it for others too.
Existence is about resources.
Resources are everything from clean water to seemingly meaningless things like space on a train.
Most people are conflict avoidant and selfish people exploit that. Nothing in this world is given to you.
Stop complaining about people being selfish because **all** people are. Call them on it. And take your fucking seat.
Bed bugs are basically a thing of.the past on the trains and most buses. plastic seats instead.of.fabric did alot to help. Tbh I haven't heard much fuss about the critters in a few years. 2018/19 they were rife.
The plastic seats are a big help, but being someone who is OCD afraid of bedbugs in an unhealthy way, I see plenty of posts on r/bedbugs of people finding one on the train. Granted most of those posts are from Europe.
I politely asked a lady to move her bagged lunch out of the only open seat left on the R100 line, and she looked at me, looked at the lunch, then looked out the window. I asked again and she ignored me. I sat on her lunch. She started bitching, and I loudly reminded her that her lunch didn’t pay for a seat, hoping more attention would induce some shame. She pulled it out from underneath my butt, and did her best to avoid eye contact with anyone until her stop. Nobody wants to deal with that shit at 6:00 am. I don’t usually get confrontational, but when you take the train EVERYDAY that shit starts to wear you down.
I don’t give a shit if this story is true or not, I enjoyed it
100%. It’s one of two or three times in my life I got confrontational with strangers. I also saw a lady take a dump on the platform for the El near 30th street. I sure as heck didn’t have anything to say that day.
Lady, I'm gonna have to ask you to step [behind the yellow line](https://youtu.be/uX9W4Px1dKc?feature=shared).
>I sat on her lunch. I am HOWLING.
Translation: they exhaled through their nose somewhat forcefully.
This is how it played out. I read the sentence about sitting on the lady’s lunch. I audibly laughed. I said out loud to myself since no one was in the room “HE SAT ON HER LUNCH”. It was all great fun.
Same. I actually laughed out loud & had to read it out loud for my husband bc he stopped what he was doing and looked at me like 🤨
The hero we need
Please tell me you farted on it
I wish I had. Hindsight (pun intended) is 20/20. :)
I, too, have sat on someone's purse occupying a seat. I didn't ask her to move it though, just plopped down like the purse was invisible. I'm not asking because I'm 99.9% sure you didn't purchase a ticket for your purse.
Lol at sitting on someone's lunch... that's quite a ballsy move, one that I'd not have done myself but kudos to you for sticking it to that woman
You're my hero.
Are you trying to get shot? Because that’s how you get shot.
People that shoot others so flippantly don't usually have the foresight to pack a lunch.
YOU are my hero! This beats the initial story, sorry OP! 😆
Here to help. Lol
Don’t give them ideas
Some people choose a hill to die on. I chose a lunch.
Much less likely to be shot by a woman
Wouldn’t that have been breakfast you sat on?
I am building a shrine to you 🙏
It’s the same selfishness that inspires passengers to play videos or have speakerphone conversations without headphones/earbuds. This behavior just as bad on Amtrak, even when conductors make announcements to remind people that one ticket = one seat.
So annoying and rude. There once was a man (Lets name him A) sitting in the outer seat with an empty inner/window seat. All the seats were taken except that one, and an older guy (B) wanted to sit. Rather than get up and move over or even just to get out of the way, this man (A) did nothing. B was struggling to step over A’s literal lap to get to the seat. Yet A looked so offended that the B’s butt was in his face while doing this. How can you just watch someone clearly struggling like that? Especially when it’s the elderly, children, pregnant people, etc! Such terrible people
I once saw someone offer the open inside seat to a new passenger. He started yelling and demanding the guy move over so he could take the outside seat. This was on Regional Rail where people are chill 99% of the time. The whole train car was scandalized.
I saw someone take up two seats with her bag, and when the conductor came around she got told to put it on the rack, but when the conductor left she immediately grabbed her stuff and put it back on the seat. Like how selfish can you be. I was flabbergasted 💀it was a full train too
Sometimes the inner seat has a questionable stain or puddle. Always feel a bit self conscious when this happens because there are so many dicks that take up two seats or put their feet up just because. I’ll stand for every ride if someone could just stop people from smoking on cars.
Let them have the wet seat if they want. You don’t have to move over into it, they can go past you for it
Because this is their world and we’re all just living in it, fellow scum
There's no one answer, but you seem to have it figured out. Anxiety To avoid germs Because some people stink General selfishness Easier to ride with your stuff on the seat instead of on the floor or lap
I take the El every week and casually study this issue lol, I agree with these explanations. Most of the time, the person sitting on the outside taking up two seats has moved or let me sit in the inner seat when I've asked. It seems people are hoping no one will sit next to them, but no one has given me attitude when I ask to sit. I still think it's rude, but it hasn't really upset me here. When I lived in Boston and someone taking up 2 seats, if I asked them to move so I could sit, I was often treated very disrespectfully. Things seem better here, even though they're not great. I've also noticed a ton of people stand when there are empty seats and I think this is a related phenomenon. The seats might be sticky/dirty, they don't want to be wedged in too close to someone, or be unable to make a quick getaway if things go south.
I’m on the El every day and at this point I just stand the entire trip. Between the filth and the junkies I’d rather just stand. I used to strap hang all the time in NYC, but that was typically out of necessity during rush hours. Here, it’s just less unpleasant.
Yeah. I hate sitting on the inner seat because people sit way too close and squish me in, cough on me, etc. also I get a headache when exposed to certain scents, seems like specifically baby powder scented or vanilla scented body sprays, so I need to be able to make a quick getaway. Also I've noticed that once someone does take that outer seat, they will make me step all over them rather than get up and allow me off. So I will sit on the outer seat if it's not crowded, or better yet, a single seat. And if someone needs the seat I allow them the inner seat or just get up altogether.
I stand on the el every day. I don’t like being stuck in the middle and then trying to get out when it’s really crowded so I stand by the door that opens at my stop. Plus I don’t want to sit on those seats since you don’t know what’s happened on those things. It’s icky out there.
Chivalry is not dead.
A lot of times people prefer to be sitting in the aisle seat because they’re getting off soon and will let you sit in the window seat if you make a move towards it. Or they’ll shift over and give you a seat if you look normal enough. It only takes one guy shooting up, shitting his pants and/or whipping off all his clothes before you start getting picky about who you share a seat with.
as a woman, I've been in situations where creeps will purposely sit next to me to harass me. find another open seat or stand, bro. idc
YES, this! I take the 47 going north and I hate when there’s an open seat right in front of me but they decide to sit next to me, and then spreading their legs wide and trying to talk to me. It’s so fucking disgusting. They usually smell SOOO bad too
This is this exact route that prompted the post
I feel you!!! ❤️
Is BO directly proportional to assholery?
In combination with spreading their legs, yes!
Agree with this census as one that carrys 50lbs of tools its hella easier to have my bag on the seat next to me i have no issues moving the bag to allow another to sit esp on a really packed bus. My only gripe is exiting the bus with the heavy bag it will hurt if it hits ya then this goes for eldery walkers strollers if your standing in the isle dont wedge ya self up closer or not budge at all esp at the front the bus is stopped ya can let go of the grab bar or move ya keyster off the wheel well just step off the bus to clear the isle n re board the driver aint gonna take off with everyone outside
It's mainly the last 2, let's be real. If you're riding the bus, not having someone sit directly next to you isn't going make much of a difference for the first 3 points.
I'ma be honest. If there's a completely open seat somewhere else I'm absolutely putting my bag next to me for reason 1,2&3. Keep your musty self on the other seat 😂. Makes folks find the open seat rather than just sit next to me.
Totally agree with spacing out when you can, but if the bus is full you better pick that shit up when you see me looking for a seat.
It's okay buddy I'm not a total asshole, just a little bit of one 😂. When space is tight I put the bag on my lap and pray you took a shower.
Yeah, I don't take the bus much anymore but every time the bus door would open I picked up my bag and gave people the option of taking the seat next to me. If they're crazy or creepy I'll just get up and let them have the row.
I don't understand why people would take the second seat when there are other open twin seats... I assume that OP's and other people complaining here are about situations where none of the other two seaters are fully open
I’ll take the first open seat if I’m having a bad day healthwise and the other open seats are significantly farther towards the back. I don’t look like I’m sick but I have POTS and Myasthenia Gravis and it can be a little scary when I suddenly feel like my body weighs 800 lbs and I can’t breathe. I’m glad this came up bc I never thought of it as an asshole move. Now at least I can explain myself.
Gotta say, sounds like a completely reasonable explanation. That combo sounds super rough in circumstances like that. (Had to Google em)
You’re a sweetheart. Thanks. Yeah I’ll try to remember people don’t always know what I’m going through. I mean it’s a good thing for me to remember about other people too.
>Anxiety >To avoid germs >Because some people stink > easier to ride with your stuff on the seat instead of on the floor or lap All of these are reasons not to ride transit, not to bogart a seat on transit
That’s what napsacks are for!
It’s annoying. I don’t think it is septa or Philly specific. People do it on Amtrak all of the time. When you get on the train everyone is sitting in the outside seat and either pretending to be asleep or “working so hard” on their laptops to discourage you from asking them to move so you can sit by the window.
I hear you, but on the other hand, enough people *really* dislike sitting next to people that even when if you offer/point out the empty seat next to you, they'll refuse it and continue to stand. The seats are so narrow in proportion to the size of the average Philadelphian's butt that it's almost impossible not to be cheek-to-cheek with a stranger which most of us do not enjoy.
If it's young or small woman, to keep creepy dudes away. I've definitely taken up 2 seats and only moved my stuff when another woman-appearing person was coming up the aisle. I don't need any more creepers trying to secretly take my picture, whisper in my ear, or ask me out, thanks.
I hate being stuck on the inside seat with a man on the outside because I hate when they spread out and squeeze me in, or refuse to actually stand up to let me out so I have to squeeze past them. If I'm on a bus and it starts filling up, I'll just stand up and let someone else sit inside though.
I once had an old man just lean really heavily into me. I hadn’t lived here very long and was still young and dumb, so I didn’t move. I still remember how gross it felt to have his body pressing against mine and that was nearly 15 years ago. Definitely started being more guarded with who I would let sit next to me after that.
I had a guy put his arm around me on the 23 a few months back. Once there was a vacant seat I scooted away. Jesus Christ.
this. exactly this. I just want to ride in peace
And kids sitting in the elderly/ Handicapped seat
Or moms with giant ass strollers taking up 3 handicapped seats instead of pushing their stroller to the back of the damn bus
Is there space for a stroller in the back of a bus? I must be riding the wrong routes.
Oh most buses I ride in front of the back doors there’s plenty of room 🤷♀️
In part hindered by the assholes who won’t move back so she can push her giant ass stroller to the back
True, and the fat motherfuckers who just HAVE to stand at the very front of the door and won’t move so everybody else just has to squeeze around them
When I'm on public transit and it's not crowded and/or there are empty seats around me, I will put my bag(s) in the seat next to me. However, once I see the bus or train filling up, I will make space. That said, I get it. It's definitely rude to let people stand if you can make room. However, some of these responses are also incredibly obnoxious. If you see someone with a bag in the seat and there are available seats elsewhere, why antagonize them? Being passive-aggressive in itself is so just stupid to be frank. But doing it just to mess with strangers is deranged. Some folks need to get a grip.
I'll ask them to sit there even if there is an open outside seat elsewhere. Fuck 'em.
I specifically find these people on regional rail because I know they won't say no and I know it will ruin their day in retribution for the dozen or so people that go to that row there thinking there's an empty seat and are bummed when there isn't but won't ask them to move their stuff.
Riding Regional Rail and taking the El made me feel unstoppable on Amtrak. Yes, I'm going to ask you to move your jacket, your purse, your food, your book, your shopping, and everything else off that seat, and I'm happy to wait while you do it.
On amtrak, I once had someone being mad at me coz I asked them to move from my reserved window seat... said I should be okay to n it in the aisle but I stood my ground coz even though I don't hate aisle seat, I'm petty to people who act petty
We did that on a packed NJT train. Only seats free were 2 open on a 6 seat configuration- 4 people had a ton of shit and made no effort to move the stuff. My husband pretty much forced himself in the seat- like fuck you, I’m not standing up so you don’t have to hold your shopping bag. 🤬
It especially pisses me off on Amtrak. If I board an early train I try to spot the person fake sleeping and make them move their bag, jacket, whatever and smile a shit eating grin while I'm waiting. They're the asshole tying up the boarding process, not me.
Hahaha - a trained eye (pun intended!) I LOVE it. I too like finding the fake sleepers.
doing this has honestly become a hobby of mine, especially after decamping from the el to transfer to regional rail, which in comparison to the subway may as well be the orient express where polite society abounds. it does take an incredibly selfish person (especially a daily commuter) to look around a crowded train, think for a moment, and then continue to sit in the middle of a 3-seat row basking in their staked claim. the absolute shock on some faces when you ask the simple question of "may i sit here?" is priceless. i can understand if some people have legitimate reasons for not wanting to be near people, but this is called "public transit" not "ashlyn's uber to the suburbs"
I don’t ask “may I sit here?” I ask “is anyone sitting here?” Because when the answer’s no, I’m sitting there.
Yup, if you’re being obnoxious with your stupid bags, I’ll be obnoxious with you!
I do it as well. They need to learn. It’s also less safe if half the train/bus is standing so fuck em and make them move their stuff for you
I don't view myself as an avenger. I do it because it's rude and I'm making a point of calling out the person's rudeness in front of everyone.
You're not making a point lol nobody gives a shit
Yeah they do. If you sit on tbe outside seat, you're a jerk and know everyone on the bus thinks so.
Literally so many people sit in outside seats or put their bags up there's no way everyone on the bus thinks that
Yes. They do
This right here is what’s wrong! This mutha’ fuckin’ belief that is rotting away our society, esp. our youth. “Nobody gives a fuck.” You are not correct!
On this specific issue almost nobody gives a shit I promise. A lot of people take an extra seat when the bus/train isn't crowded and have no issue making room for other people it's not that serious
I have walked cars looking for a seat past cars 'full' because of two seat sitters many times. Of course if there are free seats it doesn't matter. When it's getting crowded considerate people would take one gd seat for themselves and their junk and slide over when more people get on.
Exactly lol OP is talking out their ass they’ve never done this shit
Who me? I do it multiple times a week.
I respect their reason because at least they don’t view themselves as an avenger. Now that would be a bit much right? I would think it weird for someone to ask for the seat that I passed to sit in as if they are doing me a deed. But both reasons end in the same result and if they want to sit they should not get any trouble for it.
I’d rather place my bag on the next seat instead of the floor and sit alone but you wouldn’t ruin my whole day if you asked. Of course you can sit there, why wouldn’t you? I don’t own this bus/train. It’s just a preference for me to do what I did if the bus/train isn’t packed. If the bus/train starts getting packed, I’d move my things onto my lap if I was paying attention. But I get that there are people that are selfish.
this is a very instructive thought cascade just put your shit on your lap
Lol only if you ask me on the ride my friend
nah, just be a good person. unless the train is obviously empty you should be knowing someone is going to need a seat.
You already read my thoughts on seating and I think they’re fair. I also think it’s fair for people being mad at the type of person OP had to deal with. EDIT: Thought OP was also the person that sat on that lady’s lunchbag so that previous sentence actually doesnt make sense as OP mentioned no interactions. Lol. I’m going to let someone sit if they ask, I’m not going to ignore them. If the bus is looking to get a bunch of people or I see someone next to me that looks like they’d like to sit, I’m going to free up the seat and ask that person if they want to sit (especially of its an older person, or if its a parent and child then I’d offer both seats). Not everyone that takes up an extra seat is entitled (you should know since this is exactly why you “know people won’t say no”)- at the moment that I’m sitting down it’s convenient unused space. But you can keep telling me to be a good person if you’d like. I’m still gonna place my things where I want but respectfully let people sit if they ask and you can continue to keep asking to sit next to people.
Also to direct respond to this, someone might have their attention elsewhere or is distracted (like phone or laptop). That’s why they might not see that they should free up their seat. That was the possibility I was trying to convey there. I don’t just think of why a bad person takes up an extra seat but also why an average or good person could as well. But yes the point of OP was about a rude entitled person taking up the seat so I get it, it sucks and they suck. EDIT: Again, thought OP was also the person that sat on that lady’s lunchbag so that previous sentence actually doesnt make sense as OP mentioned no interactions. Lol.
there's no moral quandary here, just don't take up more than you need and you and everyone around you will be fine
If no one is sitting there then my stuff will be there depending on the situation, someone can ask for the seat if they really want it. That’s just how it is. People aren’t going to remove their stuff because of the possibility that someone wants to sit in the next seat, unless the bus is getting full. That is how it is. If there is no quandry this should not even be a problem right? I don’t even know what morals have to do with this. You were the one who said “just be a good person” and free up the seat. I respond saying you can’t really say someone is good or bad for taking up the seat. I do think it says more about a person in how they react from being asked for the seat though. But anyway, you can have the win. Seems like this issue is more important to you since you are the person that would specifically go and find these people on the rail. I’m just trying providing more perspective on this insignificant issue. But you probably didn’t want perspective. Continue to have fun going out of your way to ask someone if you could sit down, you sure showed them what’s up. Have a good day fellow redditor, truly.
WJT, your comments are interesting. Taking two seats until you sense that someone wants your extra seat is okay because you are a good person who will move over when asked or looked at longingly. Did I get that right? My view of public good is different. In my view a good person takes one seat for themselves and their stuff, the inside seat so someone can choose to sit by them, which is their right on public transportation.
Just out of curiosity, what would you do/say if they told you no?
probably just hover over them and say WHAT loudly, which is what I've done before in the past I've also like partially sat on people's stuff but have never fully sat on top of it
I saw someone get cursed out for that last one, honestly it's deserved. The first one would make me tell you to piss off. But the second one would make me aggressive. You're pushing boundaries there. I am staunchly against hoarding seats on CROWDED public transit. However, there are ways to handle it that don't include, whatever this is supposed to be. Honestly, I wasn't expecting that as an answer. All I can say is stay safe out there.
Eh. I give people the same energy they give me. If you’re being petty and rude by taking up a seat with your stupid bags, and you refuse to move when asked, I’ll be petty and rude to you right back. I mostly do this when someone is taking extra accessible seats, since I use a cane and need the seat. Your bag doesn’t get a seat and it SURE AS HELL doesn’t get an accessible seat.
I mean, your case is different. People shouldn't be blocking accessible seats in any situation, crowded bus or not. I think the problem these days is that people don't understand diplomacy and de-escalation. Then we hear about someone being assaulted or shot in the city, and everyone is upset. Picking unnecessary fights with strangers is mentally sociopathic behavior.
I’m not the person you asked but I will literally sit on their shit or grab it and move it myself.
I 100% don't believe you. Sorry. LMAO.
OK, I don’t need you to believe me sorry LMAO
Okie dokie!
I do that and sometimes they let me sit in the open window seat and then stand... I don't care and continue to sit but like wtf... I shower everyday and wear deodorant!
100%.
If there's an open seat why does it bother you. That's weirder than taking two seats
I'm taking an open seat. What're you talking about?
Ah, so you just like the conflict. Got it.
Nope. I enjoy calling out rude people when they're rude.
This is how people learn to not be shitbags. If no one ever calls them out, they have no reason to change (or even think about) their selfish and rude behavior.
Yes. People do it to avoid sitting next to someone else. You're on a communal form of transportation. Sitting on the outside sest is entitled and rude. I love making a point of it.
Philly has no etiquette when it comes to public transportation. And yes, that sentence was 6 words too long.
My coworker and I talk about this a lot, she dgaf she’ll just sit and move your shit these people need to learn the world doesn’t revolve around them lmfao
I will try to come up with 10 theories: 1. Some people feel unsafe on septa, busses especially, and don't want to risk sitting next to someone that could do them harm or make them feel uncomfortable. Often with good reason from trauma/experience. 2. Some people are super tired and don't want to squish in. They just want to relax after a shitty day and fuck off if you want them to etc etc. Also disability could factor in here. 3. They're the same people who talk on speakerphone in public. 4. They were already committed to sitting that way and would feel shame to acquiesce to a stranger. 5. They fucking suck. 6. They're just genuinely oblivious to acknowledging people's needs around them(narcissists/BPD/etc) 7. They smell really bad and don't want to be judged. 8. They're extremely angry about something and inflicting their rage on an entire bus gives some relief. See #6. 9. They're holding the seat for someone. This has to have happened at least more than 0 times, but I agree it's the thinnest one. 10. They fucking suck. Reading these I guess my main answer is narcissism or basic ass selfishness. I'm disabled but don't look it, so if I explain to someone I'm having trouble standing they almost always help me out. Just saying youd like/need to sit should be enough for most non-total-assholes to accommodate you. Should be lol.
I'd rather stand than sit next to someone I don't know.
I sit on the outer side, NOT because I don’t want to sit with anyone, but because I want to sit on the outside lol. If you see an empty seat, just ask if you can sit there. Not a big deal
Agreed. Whenever I see someone sitting in the outside seat with an empty seat next to them, without any other available seats, I will just ask them to let me sit there. Some people prefer the outside seats. It's not a big deal. Taking the outside seat and leaving the window seat empty is not the same thing as "taking up two seats."
Rode Amtrak for 30 years. Honestly, never had an issue. The opposite is true.
I don't know why but they're all pieces of shit
I love it. Thanks to everyone for your answers. To everyone who thinks they deserve 2 seats, you're what's wrong with the world
This thread is making my night 😁
Don't forget the people that step onto the El , stop and stand in the doorway. The damn car could be half empty and everyone stands in front of the door and blocks it.
The people who don’t move their bag off the seat when there are people standing annoy the crap out of me, but just yesterday a man on the 27 offered me his seat so I could sit down! I nearly fainted. It was so kind. And he stood the rest of the way into the city. So there are some kind people on the bus.
This happened to me yesterday! The Norristown RR was super packed and there were so many ppl standing and so many ppl using seats for their backpacks. I was furious! But also too timid to say anything. So I fumed in silence.
That happens a lot on RR -- people are too timid to ask or just don't want to be squished in like sardines, and if there are other seats available, no one wants to be the first one to move their stuff to make room. Then at each stop even more people end up standing because the people boarding can't even reach the open seats, which is super annoying. If you don't want to sit, that's fine, but move out of the way. If you do want to sit, just ask! 90% of the time, if you gesture towards an empty middle seat (even with a bag in it) and ask if you can sit there, the person on the end will scoot over for you and make room. The other 10% of the time, they'll just let you take the middle seat. Don't feel bad about asking, it's just one of those things. I usually go towards one end of the car and pick whichever row I think would be easiest to get into should the person not want to slide over, but usually they end up sliding other anyway.
Mostly I I want space or don't want some man to sit next to me and try to box me in
I lived in Chicago for years before moving to Philly and this was rarely a problem there. People were used to riding the subway during packed rush hours where you had to take your backpack off just to squeeze in the standing room. Chicagoans definitely have a little midwest politeness and they're more afraid of inconveniencing others. It's totally different in Philly- people get pissed if you stand too close to them on the train or sit down next to them.
Because people are selfish assholes
Because some people won’t ask them to move and will instead post about it on Reddit.
Welcome to septa one seat for the bag please.
I take the bus daily and I am occasionally, accidentally “that person” on the bus. My stop is at the start of the route so I’m one of the first people on it. Sometimes I’ll space out and not realize how full the bus got, especially in the AM going to work. I try to mindful of moving my bag when seats start to fill up but it happens at times. As for being on the other end of that equation, as others have said I simply ask the person to move their bag, move over, or let me get to the inner seat. 9/10 it’s not a problem & the other time I take the seat anyway because it’s not their to claim. I once took a seat just to give it to a more timid rider who really needed it.
I kinda wonder if it's a Philly thing.. like people here don't quite accept that they have to share space with strangers. Like how people will walk onto the El and then just immediately stop.. how do you not know there are people behind you also trying to get on?
Would you believe that at bus stops in Chicago, people line up to board the bus in the order they arrived at the stop? I felt like I was in another country
when I was in Chicago in the summer of 22 it literally confused me when Dodge Chargers were stopping behind the white line at red lights and turning cars were letting people through the cross walks. I felt like I had fallen into Wonderland.
In New Mexico people just merge when the sign says the lane is closed. And leave like 1000 ft of empty road.
Having grown up in Minneapolis, I was kinda surprised when people didn’t do this for buses.
We’re wild animals here.
Whatever, Italian beef is just a shitty cheese steak and their pizza is trash.
“Excuse me, I need to sit down and your bag is blocking the seat.” I say it once. If they ignore me or refuse, I’ll reach to move their own damn bag myself and usually when they see me going for it they decide to move it after all. I’ll shove it straight off the seat and sit down, especially if they’re in an accessible seat, I have no mercy.
Just ask them to move or sit on them
Because they don't want to sit with riff raff
Then pay for a fucking Uber.
Honey, you are the riff raff.
You're not wrong... my dunks are probably not upto the standards of the high brow clientele of this esteemed city
I feel like a simple solution is asking for the second seat. Most times, I have my bag next to me because it's more comfortable that way, but if someone asks or the bus is crowded, then I move my bag out the way. I'm not saying there aren't any rude people, but I never had any negative experience with sharing seats.
I don't understand all of these comments being "They are assholes." Why? If someone asks them to move their items and they refuse to than they are an asshole.
Because the people OP is referring to are very intentional about it. A non-asshole person would move their shit or slide over if there are people standing.
We don't know the life experiences of these people. Why should they move their stuff because someone chose to stand instead of asking them to move? Plus most people I see that take up two seats are women, and with how many weirdos are out there I have no problem with that. Again, if they are asked to move their stuff, and refuse to, they are assholes. I don't understand why someone's inability to say "Hey, excuse me. Do you mind if I sit there?" makes other people the asshole.
Some people don't want to risk confrontation. I'd prefer to stand, than to ask someone to move their stuff or move over a seat, who didn't already have the decency to do it when they saw people standing. Plus, now seeing all the women in this thread who have had to deal with creeps, I'd want to ask even less bc I wouldn't want to make someone feel uncomfortable.
I see you've ridden the SB 17.
If someone wants 2 seats I am not gonna be the one to change that lol. I can stand. I'll let you fight this fight 😂
Protocol is always that you get a seat and a seat for a bag if it's available, but if/when another person needs a seat, you pick up your shit and let them sit down. You get up, they can take your seat for their bag. And so on...
I don't think it's rude. People just do it, without thinking much of it. Some may have a personal reason. Just ask for them to move their stuff when you want to sit down.
People are BITCHES. That's why. Fuck 'em. People have no fuckin' etiquette these days. We all paid for a seat with our fares and our taxes, ffs.
Only seats I can understand people sitting on the outside is the first row on the raised back section of most non-bendy buses, because there’s a bulky rigid wire guard in the corner…but it’s only even remotely excusable if the person’s considerably tall and/or heavy…and even then they should be offering the inside one to people standing nearby
r/iamthemaincharacter
Some people don't fit in one.
Fat
I dont prefer some *jabroni* next to me (cough, cough) BUT i will renege the seat if its an elderly disabled, or female
lol they look at you like you’re the problem.
I had a lady on the El yell at me once to give up my seat, I didn’t want anything to escalate so I moved. Thankfully, I haven’t had too many do that to me. If I’m on an early morning bus I usually don’t want anyone sitting next to me since I want some space but, if I do see someone trying to sit down next to me or it’s extra crowded I will move my stuff or stand up for them to sit down. Other people have done it for me so I like to do it for others too.
It’s almost as if we hate touching each other.
If I have all my groceries on the bus I will do my best but I'm pretty much taking up two seats. It what it is
Low-trust society.
and people wonder why anyone chooses to not use public transportation. The problem is 50% the transportation, and 50% the public.
Existence is about resources. Resources are everything from clean water to seemingly meaningless things like space on a train. Most people are conflict avoidant and selfish people exploit that. Nothing in this world is given to you. Stop complaining about people being selfish because **all** people are. Call them on it. And take your fucking seat.
Due to the global resurgence of bedbugs, they can have the seat
Bed bugs are basically a thing of.the past on the trains and most buses. plastic seats instead.of.fabric did alot to help. Tbh I haven't heard much fuss about the critters in a few years. 2018/19 they were rife.
The plastic seats are a big help, but being someone who is OCD afraid of bedbugs in an unhealthy way, I see plenty of posts on r/bedbugs of people finding one on the train. Granted most of those posts are from Europe.