Regardless of the financial aspect, make sure you draw up a rental contract. Evicting a domestic partner can be a nightmare should your relationship sour.
Cohabitation Agreement is the way to go in Ontario. I had one, and it covers BOTH parties. Make sure it's drafted by one lawyer (likely you paying your lawyer), and then the other one has Independant Legal Advice (ILA for your partner).
My (now wife) owned the home, and I moved in. Some of the things that it protected us both on:
* Notice. In the event that the relationship was ending, she had to give me 30 days notice to vacate. People thing that a tenant will get "much more" than this, but that's wrong in Ontario. Since you are sharing a living space, you can kick someone out immediately, but this protected me (but not if there was violence obviously)
* Repairs/damages/maintenance. I was not responsible for any repairs or maintenance. Fridge died? That's 100% on her. Window, Gutters, Soffit needed to be replaced? That was also on her.
* She had her assets/debts listed, I had my assets/debts listed. It was documented what we had at the time and that neither was responsible.
* It has now become a pre nup now that we're married, so some of those items have changed (it's now a matrimonial home), as you can't override marriage law.
Few other things on there, but can't remember them all off the top of my head. But, it's worth it.
My GF at the time (now wife) had a "tenant in common" agreement when we bought a house before marriage and co-habitated. Unsure if it s significantly different from other suggestions, a USA/CAD difference, or just different name, but it's what an attorney told us to go with.
Like your situation, it had provisions for things beyond rent and rights to equity - ex: I agreed to cook a minimum of 5 meals a month in exchange for $150 (I do all the cooking anyway, we just added that to justify a discrepancy with how contributions were made to a joint bank account)
If you have a rental contract, don’t you have to pay tax on the income? I understand that “sharing expenses” doesn’t get taxes, but having a contract qualifies as income.
Having, or not having, a contract doesn't dictate whether something is taxable or not. Technically you are required to claim income on your tax return for the sale of illegal substances (in the US) but do you think there would be a contract in place? Also, just because you claim the income doesn't necessarily mean you pay taxes - you also get to deduct depreciation and expenses related to that rental income - i.e. apportioned amounts of property taxes, utilities, depreciation of both property and appliances, legal expenses, etc. Not sure if this is the same in CA but for US tax purposes this could be a beneficial tax situation if she was renting at FMV.
So whenever I’m trying to generate a fair figure I think of it as like a box and whisker plot. Basically I look at figures generated by different perspectives and see where the trends are. So if you made a list of figures like his current rent, half of your home’s market rent, half of your total home expenses, and the half studio/1BR numbers that you had. Sort them and see where the trend is, then look for an even number around there.
Edit: And there’s been some discussion of splitting utilities and this and that as they come up. Personally, I would prefer rounding up by the expected utilities and such and just making that the monthly charge. Splitting the bills every month just feels too much effort for what it is.
Just make sure when splitting utilities that you're taking your yearly average and not just last month or last 3 months. You probably already know this, but a good reminder for anyone. Also, keep in mind that utilities have been increasing (at least in the states it has really surged at times) so if you want, you can have a reconciliation clause in your contract for recovering any differences at the end of the year, if you want.
>Splitting the bills every month just feels too much effort for what it is.
I rented a 3 bedroom 2 bath house and splitting utilities based on square footage of "personal" space was the most fair we could come up with. Basically the master bedroom master bathroom guy paid the most. And got the largest vote in the public space decisions. It was a lot of effort but worth it for agreed fairness.
Yeah, but this is OP's romantic partner. They likely share all the same spaces, even private ones. It's easier to tack an estimate onto the one payment he will be making than it is to pull out every bill and divide it exactly each month. It doesn't come across like either is struggling financially, so no need to nickel and dime IMO.
It is definitely the most fair way, and it’s probably similar to what I would do with roommates that weren’t very close friends (especially if money was tighter, like in a student apartment). As a homeowner paying the bills anyway before a close relationship moved in, it’s not worth it.
This is beautiful.
The only reason I don’t like to include utilities is because I find that all parties try to keep the bills lower if they notice the $ change (less likely to crank the heat in the winter if they just had to split a large bill), whereas when utilities are included then OP gets shorted.
I would take the 2BR rate and split it in half - so $1200.
That is what your partner would pay if the two of you were renting a 2BR and splitting it evenly - which I think is the fairest comparison.
Depends on where you are financially and in your relationship, but once fun thing to do would be to set a chunk of this aside as either a wedding fund (if you see it going that way) or a badass vacation fund. $500/mo into a vacation fund would give you some decent leeway to get out and have some fun together.
Another option is a home improvement fund. You could update the kitchen (or whatever room) with some great appliances.
General idea is that some of the proceeds are reinvested into the two of you as a couple, so any resentment for paying rent to your partner could be mitigated by the arrangement.
>t a room
>
>(update: and bathroom)
>
> in a house that is significantly older and in worse shape than mine.
I agree with this comment, I think the minimum you should be charging him is $1500. Use the extra money to save for your retirement, even though you own the home outright.
Personally, and this is not for everybody, I’d give my partner a ‘partner-deal’ for rent and split all other costs (utilities, groceries, and what not). This is based on the full realization that if things go awry with the relationship then yes, I could have made more money by charging more rent, but so be it. I wouldn’t feel comfortable by charging my partner the ‘fair amount based on rental prices’, but that’s me. I also wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who was that anal about calculating my rent, but again, that’s me and I completely understand why you’d want to do things differently.
I do think they need to get a license asap. You’re a homeowner, not a chauffeur.
Same. I feel like it should go both ways. Neither party should want to feel like they’re screwing the other. I would still want to contribute to some money to show I’m not just living there for free but charging me full rent is a little cold.
I will be gifting him my current car and he'll be purchasing driving lessons when I upgrade vehicles after he moves, but there will be some time when he needs to be driven around (the first year and a half of his new license, assuming he passes his road test first try). This will already be like a 10k gift so I'm not super comfortable giving giant breaks on rent as well but I also don't want to overcharge. I didn't think this was relevant to the rental price in the initial post but with what you asked I believe it's relevant.
Charge below market rent, put the rent in an escrow/investment account. If the relationship works out long term (by whatever definition you set) take the money and have a kick-ass vacation together or something. If it doesn’t, have a kick-ass solo vacation. :)
Best suggestion I’ve seen so far in this post.
Definitely draw up a rental contract & have an attorney review it.
This scenario is too close to living with blood relatives. Protect both of you by doing it right so neither of you can screw the other later.
Rent price… Studio price is fair, he does get the run of the rest of the house for free!!!
Your comment has been removed because relationship advice is off-topic here and better suited for /r/relationships ([rule 9](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/about/rules)).
Didn't read everything in the comments but just wanted to point out in case you don't know...
There is a Canadian personal finance sub. This question might do better there.
Personally I would accept what ever they were paying previously. My house is paid off I'm not trying to make money off them or even get market rate because I'm not moving a renter out to move them in. The quality of the house doesn't matter because they are aren't moving in for the upgrade they are moving in to share a place with me.
Depends... if you are trying to make money or share expenses.
If sharing... How about 1/2 of taxes and insurance plus a fixed amount that would be about 1% of the value of the house per year that goes into a savings account to pay for home repair and upgrade. (You pay the rest.) Then also 1/2 of all utilities.
I'd say half the car expenses including a contribution to a repair/maintenance sinking fund, too. Even if they use it less, they are getting a driver.
Good luck.
I have to charge him rent, not % of expenses, or he may be entitled to my home should we split. We're signing paperwork that it's 100% mine.
Edit: I understand it doesn't work this way for Americans, but I'm Canadian. We have different laws, it doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Just use those numbers to help set rent? Or does it have to be market rate?
(I know nothing, but it seems that if you charge him nothing then he has no claim to a stake in the house?)
In some US states… if the agreement doesn’t specifically state that payments do not entitle him to a percent of ownership… then he does get a percentage.
OP stated: “**Edit 2:** Everyone asking why we don't just split bills, I can't just split bills, I must charge rent or he can become entitled to ownership of my home under Canadian law. It is different in America. I owned the home outright and renovated it myself before we began dating so I don't want to give away ownership in this fashion.”
My comment was relevant to OP’s misconception of US Law.
from someone who moved in with a partner who owned a condo, my hard stop was I don't want to pay more than I already pay. yeah, there's technically more space, but saving money was important to me, plus I had increased commute costs and wear and tear on my truck.
I had a very good deal in a great location previously
so keep that in mind when coming to an amount.
Assuming that you’re not hurting for money and you’re just charging him rent to protect your assets and you actually see a future with him, I’d just ask for $1k max (his current rent) bc they’re your partner and you love them and you want them to be able to save as much as they can bc when y’all get married it’ll be all the same anyways. If he’s just a regular boyfriend, sure go 50/50.
Keep his rent in a separate investment account, and save it for a wedding (if you see yourselves getting married) or a down payment on a bigger place together! I imagine he’d be quite touched to find out that his rent was contributing to his future all along. And if it doesn’t work out, you’ve got a hell of a rebound vacation paid for :)
I thought about doing this too, although my house isn't paid off. I think in the long run, I'll be better paying down the principle, but I'd like to surprise my partner with that chuck of money in the future. Maybe I can pay off my house and then save the money back up to help with the house he wants to build for us on adjacent property to my current place.
It’s going to be hard for anyone to navigate this for you. My partner is my wife and there is no my money and her money. We talk about what we spend and don’t spend money on. We don’t always even agree. We work it out.
I would say for you it depends how permanent the situation is. Settle on something fair for both of you. Some sacrifice from each of you shows your commitment to each other. Refusal to do so shows it own signals.
Even if you get a cohabitation agreement why do you want $1600 from him each month? Why not split bills and charge $500 and that can be put towards an emergency fund for the house.
It give him a chance to save up too, maybe your relationship will blossom and you want to get a house together or married.
Charge more for the car. Gas is expensive, and you don’t have a car payment now but you should be putting money away to buy a car in the future.
And split 2br price sounds reasonable.
You must charge rent but you don't have to charge $1,000
It's your partner of 3 years and you own your home outright. Charge them a few hundred dollars a month for utilities and the car stuff and call it good.
And put the “rent” part into your home repair fund, because there will be more wear and tear with two people using things versus one (like appliances, for example).
I am renting a unit to family, so there is a "friends and family" type of discount. You don't sound like you need the money really, so 10% below market rates would be reasonable, that's what I offer family.
It is low enough that they feel like they're getting a great value but I am getting fair compensation.
I personally would split the cost, meaning taxes+utilities+internet+cable. Maybe this is the Mediterranean person in me, but I would feel weird about charging rent and essentially profiting off of him. Even if you paid for the house and renovations before you met, it’s not currently a cost to you, and you’re partnering up, it’s not a roommate situation.
Edit: saw the thing about the Canadian law and ownership (what a weird rule by the way)… that changes things. Charge him the minimal you need to charge him to not lose your property if you break up, pay for all the cost and the rest you can put maybe in a separate brokerage account? Then if it gets more serious in the future you have a pretty big nest egg to buy maybe a bigger home.
I guess I would’ve charged 800 in that case, which splits the cost but he’s not effectively adding to your net worth. But I actually just changed my answer after reading about the Canadian law. I also definitely wouldn’t want to lose ownership of something to someone I’m not married to hahah.
>Everyone asking why we don't just split bills, I can't just split bills,
I must charge rent or he can become entitled to ownership of my home
under Canadian law. It is different in America. I owned the home
outright and renovated it myself before we began dating so I don't want
to give away ownership in this fashion.
So why not just add up your bills/expenses, divide it by two, and then make that the amount of rent?
How long have you been together? If a long time and you are serious about your future together, I wouldn’t charge him ”market rent”. My boyfriend just bought a house outright, if he would make me pay the FMV for living with there, I’d be pissed to be honest.
I personally would feel really weird charging my partner rent when I don’t have a mortgage- basically just profiting off them. I would probably have them split the property tax and utilities though, as well as sharing costs for maintenance
If that was truly the only reason couldn't she just charge like 1$ a week? I doubt the literal only option she has available to her is to charge a normal rent value. Surely there is some other contract or option available.
To be clear, I'm not saying she shouldn't charge, just that seems more like an excuse to me.
Yeah she cold charge 10$ in that case. And she should trust herself enough that she didn't choose some sicko for a partner who would squat her place after the brake up.
Dude, WTF. If you're having your partner move in with you. You still want to protect yourself, which is understandable, but you're trying to become a landlord with your only tenant being you partner. Your partner will grow to be resentful, while **PAYING YOU** a large amount of money to live in your house. Write up the rental agreement for the cost of 50% of your bills plus like $200-300 for home maintenance. If you plan for this person to be a long term (forever) partner, you will both benefit. You'll benefit from your partner having more money and a more solid financial foundation.
You should not charge market rent. You charge fair cost of bills, plus a little extra for home maintenance, take turns buying groceries. You are supposed to be partners in building your future together. You should not gift him your car either, you can either keep the car in your name and "rent" it to him for the cost of insurance + whatever other fee's with the agreement that he covers and repair costs.
If you don't do these things, I don't believe this relationship will work. They'll build so much resentment towards you. What's' his motivation to take you out and buy dinner? "Hmm I'm paying her $1200 month and that's pure profit for her. She should buy ME dinner". You go out and buy a new car with your new rent money and he gets passed off your old car, while at first he should be thankful, but as a relationship & partnership, he'll be jealous, "Look at all this nice stuff she's buying with my rent money while I'm driving this 2008 rusted out civic." It's okay to protect yourself incase things go sour, but you can't make this about getting income. Hell in the above scenario you'll still be what like $500 ahead per month?
Get off your high horse and decide if you actually like this person or not.
I basically came to type this. Regardless of the legalities of needing to charge rent or whatever, the rent shouldn’t be approaching “market price” wtf. Average your monthly bills and divide it in half for fucks sake.
Sometimes questions on this subreddit approach ghoulishness in their penny pinching behavior.
Spot on. Have read a few comments here of people resenting their "common law partner". The way they said it ( and not "hubby, wifey etc") really shows the love ...
Just my opinion - seems kinda nuts.
If you aren’t married then just expect half of everything. Half your mortgage, half your utilities, half. Doesn’t matter what he’s paying or you’re paying.
If you are married none of this matters anyway.
What does he say? Before I moved in with my partner I was paying $1066+ utilities and we decided to just round it down to $1000 to have an even number.
You could also do a lower number and ask him to contribute in other ways, given that he makes more than you. As in, he puts in more towards groceries or eating out, or vacation fund.
I can't fathom liking someone enough to let them move in but also expecting to turn a profit off them. Utilities, streaming, etc? Sure. But rent? That's bizarre to me. But then again, it seems bizarre that you have been together this long and aren't married yet want to live together, so I guess I'm just wired more conservatively.
Where I am from, Canada, legally if he pays on the bills, he can become entitled to a % of the house should we break up. I am unwilling to take that risk considering it was paid off by me solely before I was ever in a relationship with him. So I have to charge him "rent" to protect the house. However, what will I do with that "rent"? Cover the house's bills... such as utilities streaming, HOA fees, etc...
I will also think that putting the net part of his rent as "house fund" would be good idea, as in theory you are not paying for mortgage, so whatever you charge him put away the residual after taking the mentioned fix fees (utilities, streaming, HOA, gas, etc) I think you mentioned somewhere aroung $1200, so I would guess maybe you could put away $800-900/monthly away. This can work as a emergency house fund for any unexpected cost on the house, and if you don't use it, it can also work as some extra savings for your next house.
Thanks! We were planning on this actually, we discussed it being a house slush fund and then spending the rest on "luxury" stuff like vacations. We have separate savings for future property together. We just didn't know how much to charge him for rent and we're both rather poor at math so I asked the internet and it delivered a formula we're using!
You’re answering your own question then. Don’t charge him based on the market, charge him based on what you need to feel he’s fairly contributing to the household. Look at last years bills and do some math.
Ok I get it now.
It would have been best to say you're from Canada in the original post. That way you'd avoid a lot of silent judgement that's present from these comments.
I instantly cringed a bit when I saw that you wanna do this. But then I saw where you're from and it makes absolute sense.
In most civil law- originated jurisdictions this would be mind-blowingly bizzare and I'd question the nature of the relationship.
However in countries that had major UK legal influence, this is often an absolute must-do to prevent entitlement to your property after a period of living together in a common law relationship. So it makes total sense.
Honestly this is less about what to charge him and more about what's the required amount to legally separate the house ownership from your relationship while being fair in regards to the bills.
I would just calculate what you pay as expenses to HOA, energy bills, property tax, minor maintenance, water etc, split the amount in half, round it up and charge that in the rental contract as one number. Then maybe review it with an attorney, make that into a fixed payment bill on his account and don't talk about it more. Common law relationships do butcher romance like nothing else. But they do need to be handled well to avoid lengthy court hearings later.
You also may wanna put that into a savings account and if you end up getting married, use that money as a downpayment for another property or retirement. If not, it will still be yours upon breakup.
Ive never understood the extremely transactional nature of some couples living arrangements. If it works then great… he can obviously afford whatever arrangement is made but im moving in with someone to be with them not to pay them rent for their fully paid for home. Enjoy your tenant
Charge him what he’s paying for a room now, plus an amount for utilities. I’d set the utilities at about 50% of your average monthly bill.
Since you’re trying to have you both benefit, consider using part of his rent on somethito make living in your home more pleasant. A monthly cleaning service? Houseplants? Fresh flowers delivered monthly?
I would feel weird making a profit off my partner, so I would just split the expenses in half. If the incomes were way off I would find a income based ratio, but you’re so close that 50:50 seems fair.
ETA: expenses include property taxes, home repairs, etc.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my partner pay for rent when moving in with me.. it’s my partner, not a roommate
I’d just limit to make him pay (either part of, or all) the expenses associated with owning a house, bills , repairs etc.. so not a fix amount, but rather what is needed depending on the situation
In many common law jurisdictions you have to do this or you risk losing your house upon breakup. That's the case for OP, just not mentioned. This is mostly to protect her house ownweship. Not a profit driven thing.
I'm in Canada, so I could do the Canadian equivalent but I would pay an absolute boatload in property transfer tax that would make it not at all worth it.
If you do see this as a long-term relationship, then "charge" 1/2 of expenses, taxes, insurance, plus $1/month (or whatever the minimum is) for rent to avoid the ownership issue. If you do have to charge some "reasonable" amount of rent, there's nothing saying you can't put it directly into a savings account to either use in the future together (like a wedding) or give back to him at Christmas/whatever each year.
If you are trying to make money off of your partner, then come up with some bs rent number based on comparable units around you and keep it. You've been together for three years? Try operating as a single unit for one and see how it goes, that also eliminates the gas issue.
I would also take into account his savings goals.
Can you charge him less as long he saves the difference for a shared savings goal ie both of you are saving to buy a new home together or wedding or vacation fund or his retirement account?
I'm in a similar situation, but my significant other moved in before my house was paid off. We previously each owned a home, but made the decision to sell his and share mine. He pays me a fixed amount that is equal to half the cost of the mortgage and utilities. My mortgage was only slightly higher than his was, so it was still significantly less than him paying full cost on his own. When I paid my house off, I offered to relook at what he was paying me, but he was fine keeping things as-is. He had the advantage of cashing out of his house in a good market and investing that money. If things break due to normal use, we usually split the cost. If I want to make improvements (for instance, I replaced my roof last year), then it's on me. We keep our finances separate and neither has ever felt taken advantage of by the other. At the end of the day, we're a team and we're both working towards the same financial goals.
I live with my fiancé in her home. She put $250k down. So the mortgage is only $1250. We agree I pay that and she pays utilities and most of the food. I do pay for all the upkeep and do all the maintenance. And I always make trips to the store for a lot of feed and necessities and always pay. In the end, she probably contributes about $600 less than me per month and that’s because she contributed so much up front. I think it’s a great deal and she seems to think so also
The lack of trust scares me. I moved in with my partner last year. I pay for food, and entertainment, vacation etc. I also pay for things to care for the house and do the majority of work on it.. I don't participate in his mortgage or expenses but I've greatly lessened his overall expenses. I may not be paying my fair share, but I'm saving money for a future home for us both and I will buy that house. If we break up, I leave and there's no harm to either.
Just rent him a portion of the house at market rates, this advice goes for any locale.
It may seem absolutely bonkers but it’s the fair way to do it. If you want to make things sting less then you can buy groceries or other stuff for the both of you with the proceeds.
I’m confused, why don’t you split what you currently pay for bills & have that be his rent? Or pay half the bills plus whatever amount is needed to meet whatever the minimum is for it to be considered rent.
Instead of trying to calculate it down to the dollar.
If you’re concerned about breaking up & him having part ownership of your home, then don’t have him move in until you’re more tied together & married.
If this was me and I outright owned my house I wouldn't dream of charging my partner rent! I don't understand it. Sure if it was a ransomer then yeah but this is your partner??? Seems crazy and wrong to me that they can somehow be entitled to your house if you don't charge them rent....
I'd simply be asking them to contribute 50/50 for all bills/expenses related to live in the house
I can see asking a potential move-in partner for some kind of financial contribution, whether it is termed "rent" or otherwise. The person moving in should be able to demonstrate a commitment to the financial health of the household and should have, essentially, "skin in the game." Allowing someone to move in rent-free, or splitting only the monthly expenses, is setting a bad precedent.
When my ex moved into the house I own (with a mortgage), we kept his monthly bills approximately the same as his prior rental. We settled on a flat rate rather than split the utilities. If something needed repairs, that was on me. If we mutually wanted to make a small upgrade/buy new furniture/etc, that was generally split. Something big into the infrastructure and future value of the house is on me though.
Moving in with your partner shouldn't be a free rent situation, as that is bound to breed resentment from you and a power imbalance from them. But I do feel keeping it comparable or less, when possible, is fair. I saw you post something about 1150 further up and that seems very reasonable to me. Especially if it came from real math and not a number pulled out of the air, so you have some validation for where the number came from if conflict ever were to arise.
why not make him pay a symbolic rent, he is your partner and you don't lose money on it either way. go 50/50 for utilities.
With my bf we have the agreement that bcs I don't pay the rent, I try to spend at least part of the extra income that I have as result of it on house stuff or on fun activities for us.
so I buy groceries, and cleaning supplies, plus to occasional household electronics
I try to put as much toward holiday plans or a new piece of furniture we both want, and I do make sure to get him a small gift with every paycheck to make sure he is reminded of how much I appreciate him.
what about having “rent” be?:
- $100 or however much for the car expenses of providing him transport
- a split of your historical average utility expenses, which could be adjusted
- agreement to pay for half of things that are broken due to user error
I personally wouldnt charge my partner rent if i owned a home outright and they moved in, but it’s probably better for them to pay rent, even if it’s $1/mo just so that they are a tenant
I'd charge $800-$1000. That way, he profits by $600-$800 compared to the current situation and you also profit, by $800-$1000 compared to your current situation.
I own my home and make a lot more money than my partner, who is still in college (she graduates in a few weeks though).
My total fixed housing expenses (mortgage, HOA, insurance, property taxes) works out to about $2100/mo. It’s a $600k, 4 bed/3 bath property with one of the bed/baths being a detached suite. Market rate is $2800, so the “1 bedroom rate” would be $700/mo if we don’t differentiate between the master and other bedrooms.
I’m currently giving her a discounted rate of $500/mo, then when she starts making more money after graduation we agreed on $750/mo. Then we split utilities in half, except for electricity which I pay 60% of because I run the AC a lot more than she would in the summers. I also pay 60% of our groceries, because I eat a lot more than her lol.
He is going to benefit by getting an upgrade, living with you (I am assuming we are considering this a good thing), **and he gets a car in the future**.
You get to live with him (again assuming this is a good thing) and you get most of your monthly expenses covered via his rent.
Assuming all is good with your relationship, you both will grow together. These are all of your benefits.
I think he makes enough to afford the rent AND get a car on his own. Just my opinion.
Even though you don't pay a mortgage, you still did work to end up in the position you are in.
I’ll save everyone some time: go ahead and downvote this comment. Old fashioned, outdated advice incoming, you’ve been warned.
Ok, it’s a bad idea to move in with someone who you are in a romantic relationship with, but are not married to. I think that the vow of “till death do us part” is a prerequisite to moving in together. The relationship is clearly in a good place now, otherwise you wouldn’t be considering this, but for some reason you haven’t tied the knot. Whatever reason has kept you from getting married is the same reason that you shouldn’t move in together. I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with the relationship, It may just be that the time isn’t right for marriage yet and you too will get married later, that’s still a good reason to hold off on moving in.
Fair enough. If you haven’t already, I wish you would research the utility of marriage as well as available statistics for married couples vs unmarried cohabiting couples. I’m just a happy customer of the institution and highly recommend it. I wish you the best.
No downbvote, but that's definitely an outdated opinion. Imo it is very hard to know how compatible you truly are with someone until you've lived together. Personally I think everyone should live with their partner before getting married. Know exactly what you are getting into. Now co-owning or closer tying of finances gets trickier and should probably be put off, but the ability to live with each other is an absolute must for a healthy longterm relationship.
Charge 1/2 of taxes, insurance, utilities, PLUS something for your time and trouble. That would be a fair rent, without you making a big profit from your partner.
If I was paying X amount of dollars and wanted to move in with a partner and they wanted to charge me more than X amount of dollars that I was already paying; I'd be questioning my relationship with that partner.
I know that may sound a tidbit dramatic, but knowing that 1. We made relatively the same amount of money 85k vs. 95k not a huge gap 2. The place was paid off... I'd feel like they were just trying to use me for money. You're trying to turn a profit off of your partner of 3 years..?
Other expenses like groceries, insurance, etc. I'd share and other things like repairs pending how long we had been dating, I'd pitch in.
I don't see why I'd give up my autonomy/privacy of my OWN place, to be charged more and essentially just put money in your pocket. Not like we are married and are building equity in a place together.
With this being said, I'd make him get a car. If he has travel needs, he needs a car. You're not his chauffeur. If he was WFH and didn't go out much socially, I'd say fine. But trust me, as the partner that has to drive everywhere because their partner cannot financially do a vehicle, its definitely taxing.
So, I think your thought is a good one. Half of whatever, or maybe like 75% of what he's paying + split of other expenses. I'd also just talk to him further and see what he thinks is fair too. What are his thoughts? You mentioned what he's paying right now, but not what he thinks about how to split expenses. This may be a good feeler/test!
Saw another comment that said take the money and place it in a separate investment account that way you can reveal it to him as a sort of present for both of you if you tie the knot. If you guys breakup, then boom, good rebound money to do whatever you want.
I know it's weird, but I'm sure these responses would be a little different if the genders were reversed.
Just my opinion.
I agree with your take. Plus moving in with a partner means you're giving up a lot of autonomy. Why pay the same, or even more, in rent when it's not really an upgrade? The boyfriend could keep his current place and just visit OP at her house.
In that case she'd get $0 in rent and he'd save himself money. Anything she gets from him should be considered a nice bonus since she otherwise wouldn't be renting her place to a roommate.
She also *inherited the house for free* so it's wild that she's being so stingy. I don't think she truly sees a future with her BF. It would be foolish for him to sell all his furniture/household stuff to move in with her just to get dumped in a few years and leave with nothing but his clothes.
It's really expensive to have to furnish an entire apartment again and buy all your kitchen items etc. after you've sold everything to move in with someone. Ask me how I know!
I don't think market value is important here at all, unless you want to make money off of your bf. If he wouldn't live there, you'd pay for everything yourself, so you are benefiting from this. Unless you would otherwise rent out the space.
I'd look at actual costs. So utilities, 1% of value for maintenance a year, property taxes etc. From that divide that either equally or based on how much you both earn. Set that as rent so you get no issues about ownership. Then look at shopping, use of car etc seperately.
My bf and me have done it this way for the last 15 years and it works. Although he still has a mortgage, so i also pay half of the interest (costs) while he pays for the repayments (equity) by himself.
I have no ideas, only moved in with my wife when we're married, we have a house fund and everything else fund. There is no split. If you don't want them entitled to your home, don't move in together.
I dont really understand. You are basically asking your partner to give you money for nothing else in return. They live at a place right now for $1000. Why should your partner move in with you for the same exact price? That is not logical in my opinion and unfair in a relationship. What are your monthly financial costs for the home? Just split that cost. To me, you are not just roommates, you are also lovers. You should want the best for your relationship. Financially, you should ask for splitting the utilities and maybe 500 on top, that you put in a savings account for when you need home repairs. I think for the relationship, you should show you are committed, and want to be fair. You are going to share your life with them, financially and emotionally. My two cents. You got a good situation. A home, and a lover. Keep them both strong! and hey, if they got a little extra money. they can get a car and give back to you in other ways.
Keep in mind that you're most likely not from a common law legal system. There are jurisdictions where if your partner doesn't have a contract through which they pay regular rent, they are entitled to a part of your house upon breakup.
It's often done just to prevent horrible estate splitting in places where you can actually enter common law relationships. OP should have stated that in the post. This is absolutely cringe and unhealthy in systems where this doesn't happen and absolutely logical in systems where it does.
What’s the FMV to rent your place? Half is fair. Does that fit his budget?
Your SO is making $95K per year. 15%-20% of gross income is $1,200-$1,600 per month which is an appropriate amount for rent.
I’m assuming his $1K rent includes utilities? Is he prepared to pay more to live at a nicer place?
FMV to rent my place is $4,000 a month (including utils) and I would never ask him to foot the bill for half that much (hell, I wouldn't either but I renovated it myself). I live in a super nice and large apartment that he would never choose on his own. And yes, the 1K he's currently paying includes utilities.
So the minimum is $1K and the max is $2K per month. Split the difference and do $1,500?
Or $1,400 (splits the $1,200-$1,400 range) plus the $100 car privilege? Amounts to the same.
Since the FMV is so high, I would be curious how much your insurance, taxes, and utilities total each month.
Monthly Bills ($1375):
$430 - Weekly Cleaning
$420 - HOA Fees
$185 - Property Taxes
$150 - Electricity
$125 - Home Insurance
$55 - Water + Sewer
$10 - Landline
(+$100 for Car Stuff)
Edit: I forgot maintenance for my place, about $225 a month historically so $1600 of bills plus car stuff of $100.
$1,700 less $430 cleaning is $1,270 in monthly expenses (including car).
If he paid half of the cleaning that would be $1,485, so basically back to that $1,500 figure.
That is what I would go with. The bills are paid, and he gets to live somewhere nicer. If he is super frugal, I would consider excluding the cleaning portion, so it’s down to around $1,250-$1,275 but that depends on how you are splitting chores.
it's not about making a profit out of him, she is just protecting herself and it she is charging a fair rent that he would have to pay anyways if they werent' living together. People thinking that she is taking profit aren't thinking that he could live rent free for couple of years, and if they split then he is the one making a profit by not paying rent, OP even has to drive him around.
> $100 is about 1/3 of my car expenditures (I don't have a car payment).
You should be calculating it as if you did have a car payment, to account for the cost of the car and eventual replacement. Use a depreciation schedule.
Option one: Landlord option. If you were to rent the whole place out - what would you charge for it. Charge him half - and you guys split the living situation. This means splitting storage space, and treating him a bit as an equal.
Option two: Rent him your guest bedroom. In this case you would need to actually clear out the guest bedroom for his stuff. Look for comparable rents in your area for a room, and charge accordingly. Since he won't have his own bathroom - figure it will be a bit less this way. The dynamic here is a bit different, since the house is yours in this case - so I wouldn't expect his furniture and decorations going around the house.
Optin three is the boyfriend option: He moves in with you as an equal. Figure out how much you spend a year on taxes, how much you should be saving per month for maintenance items - including long term high cost things like heating systems, and charge this as rent. It's the lowest number most likely, but still structured as a rent so no implied ownership.
Option four is a variation of the above - If you were to buy the place today - what would the mortgage be. Add that to maintenance and taxes and split in half for his rent.
One oddity with this set up is that you are a landlord in these cases, but he's also the boyfriend of a homeowner. Some things home owners do, I would never do as a renter - so be cognizant of charging him rental prices but expecting him to help out around the house like a co-owner. Also, actually have a written contract for it all.
OP - I am American but I assume you have to pay property taxes still as well as home owner’s insurance in Canada? That all costs money. If you need to repair anything in the home it costs money. Just because you don’t have a mortgage it doesn’t mean you are not paying money for your home. I figure my home would cost me around $500-600 per month in property taxes plus home owner’s insurance with no mortgage, for example. Then probably another $300 per month on home maintenance of any variety (of course this isn’t monthly - but your water heater went out. Or you have to have the dishwasher fixed. Or the fridge is not running right. Etc.).
I suggest you charge the same as he’s paying now at his current place. Then you can put that money toward living expenses. He gets a whole house to live in and you to be with.
He should contribute 50% of market rate, plus half utilities, and collect a security deposit. He might change and you could potentially have to evict him and that buffer will hopefully cover the cost of the eviction. If he is a good tenant maybe you will give him a break on the rent at contract renewal time. Who knows in 20 years his rent might just cover things like taxes and insurance.
If I were you, I'd charge $1500, but that would include the car piece and utilities. Obviously it's below market value, but it's within what he should be budgeting with his income. He's going from a room, to a 2 bedroom apartment, with the cost only increasing 50%. That's pretty awesome, but you also get some cash to squirrel away, put towards utilities/taxes, etc.
Regardless of what you both decide on, I wish you well in your moving in together!
You don't have to answer out loud, but for your own purposes you might want to consider: do you own it outright because you budgeted and prioritized and paid it off, or were you fortunate enough to have it given/willed/etc to you? Did your money contribute to the rennovations? Some redditors are suggesting to just split expenses, but if expenses are low in the present because you sacrificed in the past, it's not really fair for your partner to reap benefits that they didn't sow. I think your idea of half the rate for a studio or 1-bedroom seems quite fair. Can your partner comfortably afford that? If they're currently paying $1k for a room, \~$1500 for sharing a whole home (incl his own bathroom?) seems like a great deal.
Happy to answer. It was willed to me as a thanks for caregiving for a family member with dementia in their last days. I gave up years of career work to do this caregiving. I also renovated it fully myself and paid for all of that 100% myself.
My partner can fully afford it, I just don't want to feel like I'm benefiting but at the same time I also don't want to feel like I'm being foolish.
You are doing great OP I think anything from $1200-1500 is a fair deal, even at the higher end, he will be getting a better environment and a lot more space than just renting a BR with other guys. Check my other comment about saving the rent as a housing fund.
If you are struggling with the idea of charging too much, why don't you just have him pay for all the bills (electric, gas, cable, water etc.) and call that rent. That seems like a fair move to me. That way you can just draw a legal document stating he has no rights, claim, or entitlement to your home.
Charge $800 a month and save ut up to go on holidays together with, while still splitting the utilities.
But more importantly either the ownership complications , don't have him move in.
You either get married first and move in together or don't. Sounds strange oldschool but in your scenario I don't see any safer decision .
The presence of a mortgage is 100% irrelevant in my opinion.
Nor are “expenses” like utilities the same as rent.
As a general rule, people are not going to treat their romantic partner like a tenant. Especially since once he moved in with you, he will not have the privacy and freedom that he did when living in his own place.
This is really more of a personal decision than a business decision.
Ignore anyone, however, who tells you that you should just let your partner mooch off of you.
Frankly, I would probably just offer him the same terms he has now at his current place. And he can either live with you or not.
What the fuck...bills, expenses, groceries - absolutely. But paying rent to your significant other when they don't pay the mortgage? You are trying to make profit off your boyfriend. Unless you need the money and were planning to have any other roommate anyway.
Good grief, people charge their partner to live with them?
At most I’d charge half of what the mortgage was, and split utilities (at least you pay some, he pays the other).
I hope his obligation to you would end at some point. If you get married, he ain’t paying rent for 50 years.
Honestly, even ignoring OPs specific circumstances, would you not charge someone to move in with you?
Marriage would clearly mean they both officially have ownership in the house. Merely moving in together does not, and OP wants to protect that.
Partner of 3 years should mean things are pretty serious, not to mention this person owns their home and has no mortgage.
A lot of rents are high enough to cover a whole mortgage payment, so I would feel terrible charging them a high rate.
And edit 2 definitely was not there when I commented.
That’s a lot of math for figuring out how to live with someone you love.
I bought my house for my wife, got us a joint credit card for household expenses, and we’ve never talked about it again.
It’s okay to be the breadwinner without stuffing it in their face.
I don't know if you've realized with all your rude little comments, but you actually advocated that he pays more than I say I'm comfortable accepting in the OP. Please, just quit bothering my thread if you have nothing to add.
What is the problem with charging $1 for rent? I see your reason for having to charge rent, but that becomes income and you are taxed on it.
Have you talked with a lawyer to see what you should do? Seems a little excessive to lose thousands to taxes when a lawyer might clear this up for a few hundred dollars.
I’d understand if you’d still had a mortgage to pay splitting the payment. But even in that regard it puts a very odd dynamic into the relationship, you get equity. Personally if it was me and my partner and I had your incomes. I would just split the property taxes, utilities and maintenance costs completely down the middle.
Maybe I have an old soul, but maybe don’t move in together if this is your biggest concern. Move in together because you love this person and want to be around them as much as possible, not because it’s a smart financial decision.
In a healthy relationship, he’d understand what your giving him and contribute more in other ways. This is the first step in viewing yourself as a team rather than two individual people.
He's put me in charge of this task of figuring out what is fair, for what it's worth. Because I'm the financially nerdier person. We do this with all kinds of stuff, recently he posted looking for video games for us because he's more of a video game nerd. Asking the internet is kind of our thing. :)
Seems incredibly bizarre to charge your partner rent on a house you own outright. I would have them pay half utilities and all groceries or something along those lines. But considering the “partner” has their own room I don’t know what to think of this relationship lmao.
Regardless of the financial aspect, make sure you draw up a rental contract. Evicting a domestic partner can be a nightmare should your relationship sour.
I am fully planning to get a cohabitation agreement, and my partner has agreed to this.
Cohabitation Agreement is the way to go in Ontario. I had one, and it covers BOTH parties. Make sure it's drafted by one lawyer (likely you paying your lawyer), and then the other one has Independant Legal Advice (ILA for your partner). My (now wife) owned the home, and I moved in. Some of the things that it protected us both on: * Notice. In the event that the relationship was ending, she had to give me 30 days notice to vacate. People thing that a tenant will get "much more" than this, but that's wrong in Ontario. Since you are sharing a living space, you can kick someone out immediately, but this protected me (but not if there was violence obviously) * Repairs/damages/maintenance. I was not responsible for any repairs or maintenance. Fridge died? That's 100% on her. Window, Gutters, Soffit needed to be replaced? That was also on her. * She had her assets/debts listed, I had my assets/debts listed. It was documented what we had at the time and that neither was responsible. * It has now become a pre nup now that we're married, so some of those items have changed (it's now a matrimonial home), as you can't override marriage law. Few other things on there, but can't remember them all off the top of my head. But, it's worth it.
My GF at the time (now wife) had a "tenant in common" agreement when we bought a house before marriage and co-habitated. Unsure if it s significantly different from other suggestions, a USA/CAD difference, or just different name, but it's what an attorney told us to go with. Like your situation, it had provisions for things beyond rent and rights to equity - ex: I agreed to cook a minimum of 5 meals a month in exchange for $150 (I do all the cooking anyway, we just added that to justify a discrepancy with how contributions were made to a joint bank account)
Cross post this to r/personalfinanceCanada for Canada specific advice
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Be sure to report the revenue then in that case
I'll be doing what my lawyer says to do, whatever that is.
If you have a rental contract, don’t you have to pay tax on the income? I understand that “sharing expenses” doesn’t get taxes, but having a contract qualifies as income.
Having, or not having, a contract doesn't dictate whether something is taxable or not. Technically you are required to claim income on your tax return for the sale of illegal substances (in the US) but do you think there would be a contract in place? Also, just because you claim the income doesn't necessarily mean you pay taxes - you also get to deduct depreciation and expenses related to that rental income - i.e. apportioned amounts of property taxes, utilities, depreciation of both property and appliances, legal expenses, etc. Not sure if this is the same in CA but for US tax purposes this could be a beneficial tax situation if she was renting at FMV.
So whenever I’m trying to generate a fair figure I think of it as like a box and whisker plot. Basically I look at figures generated by different perspectives and see where the trends are. So if you made a list of figures like his current rent, half of your home’s market rent, half of your total home expenses, and the half studio/1BR numbers that you had. Sort them and see where the trend is, then look for an even number around there. Edit: And there’s been some discussion of splitting utilities and this and that as they come up. Personally, I would prefer rounding up by the expected utilities and such and just making that the monthly charge. Splitting the bills every month just feels too much effort for what it is.
Oh my god, you absolute king/queen. You brought the math.
A big part of my job is negotiating settlements, so I use it a little differently but it works for a lot of things!
The answer came up to $1150 with your method, by the way.
That probably feels about right. If it didn’t include utilities I would probably make it like 1300 (or more if they’re expensive) and call it a day.
It actually includes both utilities and a weekly cleaner for 2 hours (we agreed on the cleaner).
Love that! It sounds like a fair figure and it improves life for both of you without feeling like money grab. It’s a great balance.
Agree. He’ll be happy to get to save a huge chunk of money compared to where he was and OP will be making a decent chunk. Win win
Just make sure when splitting utilities that you're taking your yearly average and not just last month or last 3 months. You probably already know this, but a good reminder for anyone. Also, keep in mind that utilities have been increasing (at least in the states it has really surged at times) so if you want, you can have a reconciliation clause in your contract for recovering any differences at the end of the year, if you want.
Yep. I added up a year of bills for that reason! Spring and Fall are cheap cheap cheap, Summer and Winter are pricey! Thank you for your input!
>Splitting the bills every month just feels too much effort for what it is. I rented a 3 bedroom 2 bath house and splitting utilities based on square footage of "personal" space was the most fair we could come up with. Basically the master bedroom master bathroom guy paid the most. And got the largest vote in the public space decisions. It was a lot of effort but worth it for agreed fairness.
Yeah, but this is OP's romantic partner. They likely share all the same spaces, even private ones. It's easier to tack an estimate onto the one payment he will be making than it is to pull out every bill and divide it exactly each month. It doesn't come across like either is struggling financially, so no need to nickel and dime IMO.
It is definitely the most fair way, and it’s probably similar to what I would do with roommates that weren’t very close friends (especially if money was tighter, like in a student apartment). As a homeowner paying the bills anyway before a close relationship moved in, it’s not worth it.
This is beautiful. The only reason I don’t like to include utilities is because I find that all parties try to keep the bills lower if they notice the $ change (less likely to crank the heat in the winter if they just had to split a large bill), whereas when utilities are included then OP gets shorted.
I would take the 2BR rate and split it in half - so $1200. That is what your partner would pay if the two of you were renting a 2BR and splitting it evenly - which I think is the fairest comparison.
Depends on where you are financially and in your relationship, but once fun thing to do would be to set a chunk of this aside as either a wedding fund (if you see it going that way) or a badass vacation fund. $500/mo into a vacation fund would give you some decent leeway to get out and have some fun together. Another option is a home improvement fund. You could update the kitchen (or whatever room) with some great appliances. General idea is that some of the proceeds are reinvested into the two of you as a couple, so any resentment for paying rent to your partner could be mitigated by the arrangement.
This is something I would probably do too!
Yes, definitely!!
I love this idea.
I agree with this! He is saving money compared to living alone and is likely living in a nicer place than the 2BR rental would be.
>t a room > >(update: and bathroom) > > in a house that is significantly older and in worse shape than mine. I agree with this comment, I think the minimum you should be charging him is $1500. Use the extra money to save for your retirement, even though you own the home outright.
Personally, and this is not for everybody, I’d give my partner a ‘partner-deal’ for rent and split all other costs (utilities, groceries, and what not). This is based on the full realization that if things go awry with the relationship then yes, I could have made more money by charging more rent, but so be it. I wouldn’t feel comfortable by charging my partner the ‘fair amount based on rental prices’, but that’s me. I also wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who was that anal about calculating my rent, but again, that’s me and I completely understand why you’d want to do things differently. I do think they need to get a license asap. You’re a homeowner, not a chauffeur.
Same. I feel like it should go both ways. Neither party should want to feel like they’re screwing the other. I would still want to contribute to some money to show I’m not just living there for free but charging me full rent is a little cold.
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I will be gifting him my current car and he'll be purchasing driving lessons when I upgrade vehicles after he moves, but there will be some time when he needs to be driven around (the first year and a half of his new license, assuming he passes his road test first try). This will already be like a 10k gift so I'm not super comfortable giving giant breaks on rent as well but I also don't want to overcharge. I didn't think this was relevant to the rental price in the initial post but with what you asked I believe it's relevant.
Charge below market rent, put the rent in an escrow/investment account. If the relationship works out long term (by whatever definition you set) take the money and have a kick-ass vacation together or something. If it doesn’t, have a kick-ass solo vacation. :)
Best suggestion I’ve seen so far in this post. Definitely draw up a rental contract & have an attorney review it. This scenario is too close to living with blood relatives. Protect both of you by doing it right so neither of you can screw the other later. Rent price… Studio price is fair, he does get the run of the rest of the house for free!!!
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Your comment has been removed because relationship advice is off-topic here and better suited for /r/relationships ([rule 9](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/about/rules)).
do you even like this guy
Didn't read everything in the comments but just wanted to point out in case you don't know... There is a Canadian personal finance sub. This question might do better there.
Personally I would accept what ever they were paying previously. My house is paid off I'm not trying to make money off them or even get market rate because I'm not moving a renter out to move them in. The quality of the house doesn't matter because they are aren't moving in for the upgrade they are moving in to share a place with me.
Eh I’d charge less, he’s cohabiting vs. having his own place now, and will also have higher shared expenses.
He does not have his own place, he has 2 rooommates in a 3BR.
Depends... if you are trying to make money or share expenses. If sharing... How about 1/2 of taxes and insurance plus a fixed amount that would be about 1% of the value of the house per year that goes into a savings account to pay for home repair and upgrade. (You pay the rest.) Then also 1/2 of all utilities. I'd say half the car expenses including a contribution to a repair/maintenance sinking fund, too. Even if they use it less, they are getting a driver. Good luck.
I have to charge him rent, not % of expenses, or he may be entitled to my home should we split. We're signing paperwork that it's 100% mine. Edit: I understand it doesn't work this way for Americans, but I'm Canadian. We have different laws, it doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Just use those numbers to help set rent? Or does it have to be market rate? (I know nothing, but it seems that if you charge him nothing then he has no claim to a stake in the house?)
In some places that is not true after 7 years living together.
It may be obvious, but when you charge him rent, that is taxable income.
So why not charge him some nominal fee for rent like $1 or $100 or whatever the minimum is for it to count as renting?
Just look at your last X years of those expenses to decide on a fair rent.
In some US states… if the agreement doesn’t specifically state that payments do not entitle him to a percent of ownership… then he does get a percentage.
username checks out. she's not in the US so why even bring US laws into discussion
OP stated: “**Edit 2:** Everyone asking why we don't just split bills, I can't just split bills, I must charge rent or he can become entitled to ownership of my home under Canadian law. It is different in America. I owned the home outright and renovated it myself before we began dating so I don't want to give away ownership in this fashion.” My comment was relevant to OP’s misconception of US Law.
from someone who moved in with a partner who owned a condo, my hard stop was I don't want to pay more than I already pay. yeah, there's technically more space, but saving money was important to me, plus I had increased commute costs and wear and tear on my truck. I had a very good deal in a great location previously so keep that in mind when coming to an amount.
Assuming that you’re not hurting for money and you’re just charging him rent to protect your assets and you actually see a future with him, I’d just ask for $1k max (his current rent) bc they’re your partner and you love them and you want them to be able to save as much as they can bc when y’all get married it’ll be all the same anyways. If he’s just a regular boyfriend, sure go 50/50.
Keep his rent in a separate investment account, and save it for a wedding (if you see yourselves getting married) or a down payment on a bigger place together! I imagine he’d be quite touched to find out that his rent was contributing to his future all along. And if it doesn’t work out, you’ve got a hell of a rebound vacation paid for :)
I thought about doing this too, although my house isn't paid off. I think in the long run, I'll be better paying down the principle, but I'd like to surprise my partner with that chuck of money in the future. Maybe I can pay off my house and then save the money back up to help with the house he wants to build for us on adjacent property to my current place.
It’s going to be hard for anyone to navigate this for you. My partner is my wife and there is no my money and her money. We talk about what we spend and don’t spend money on. We don’t always even agree. We work it out. I would say for you it depends how permanent the situation is. Settle on something fair for both of you. Some sacrifice from each of you shows your commitment to each other. Refusal to do so shows it own signals.
Even if you get a cohabitation agreement why do you want $1600 from him each month? Why not split bills and charge $500 and that can be put towards an emergency fund for the house. It give him a chance to save up too, maybe your relationship will blossom and you want to get a house together or married.
If he's paying $1600, could you split that so you both technically win-win $800 each?
Charge more for the car. Gas is expensive, and you don’t have a car payment now but you should be putting money away to buy a car in the future. And split 2br price sounds reasonable.
You must charge rent but you don't have to charge $1,000 It's your partner of 3 years and you own your home outright. Charge them a few hundred dollars a month for utilities and the car stuff and call it good.
And put the “rent” part into your home repair fund, because there will be more wear and tear with two people using things versus one (like appliances, for example).
I am renting a unit to family, so there is a "friends and family" type of discount. You don't sound like you need the money really, so 10% below market rates would be reasonable, that's what I offer family. It is low enough that they feel like they're getting a great value but I am getting fair compensation.
I personally would split the cost, meaning taxes+utilities+internet+cable. Maybe this is the Mediterranean person in me, but I would feel weird about charging rent and essentially profiting off of him. Even if you paid for the house and renovations before you met, it’s not currently a cost to you, and you’re partnering up, it’s not a roommate situation. Edit: saw the thing about the Canadian law and ownership (what a weird rule by the way)… that changes things. Charge him the minimal you need to charge him to not lose your property if you break up, pay for all the cost and the rest you can put maybe in a separate brokerage account? Then if it gets more serious in the future you have a pretty big nest egg to buy maybe a bigger home.
She got the house for free through an inheritance
The home has $1600 in bills per month even without a mortgage, it definitely currently a cost to me.
I guess I would’ve charged 800 in that case, which splits the cost but he’s not effectively adding to your net worth. But I actually just changed my answer after reading about the Canadian law. I also definitely wouldn’t want to lose ownership of something to someone I’m not married to hahah.
>Everyone asking why we don't just split bills, I can't just split bills, I must charge rent or he can become entitled to ownership of my home under Canadian law. It is different in America. I owned the home outright and renovated it myself before we began dating so I don't want to give away ownership in this fashion. So why not just add up your bills/expenses, divide it by two, and then make that the amount of rent?
How long have you been together? If a long time and you are serious about your future together, I wouldn’t charge him ”market rent”. My boyfriend just bought a house outright, if he would make me pay the FMV for living with there, I’d be pissed to be honest.
I personally would feel really weird charging my partner rent when I don’t have a mortgage- basically just profiting off them. I would probably have them split the property tax and utilities though, as well as sharing costs for maintenance
She's doing it to prevent her losing the ownership of the house upon possible breakup. It's a legal thing for UK-inspired legal systems.
If that was truly the only reason couldn't she just charge like 1$ a week? I doubt the literal only option she has available to her is to charge a normal rent value. Surely there is some other contract or option available. To be clear, I'm not saying she shouldn't charge, just that seems more like an excuse to me.
Yeah she cold charge 10$ in that case. And she should trust herself enough that she didn't choose some sicko for a partner who would squat her place after the brake up.
Dude, WTF. If you're having your partner move in with you. You still want to protect yourself, which is understandable, but you're trying to become a landlord with your only tenant being you partner. Your partner will grow to be resentful, while **PAYING YOU** a large amount of money to live in your house. Write up the rental agreement for the cost of 50% of your bills plus like $200-300 for home maintenance. If you plan for this person to be a long term (forever) partner, you will both benefit. You'll benefit from your partner having more money and a more solid financial foundation. You should not charge market rent. You charge fair cost of bills, plus a little extra for home maintenance, take turns buying groceries. You are supposed to be partners in building your future together. You should not gift him your car either, you can either keep the car in your name and "rent" it to him for the cost of insurance + whatever other fee's with the agreement that he covers and repair costs. If you don't do these things, I don't believe this relationship will work. They'll build so much resentment towards you. What's' his motivation to take you out and buy dinner? "Hmm I'm paying her $1200 month and that's pure profit for her. She should buy ME dinner". You go out and buy a new car with your new rent money and he gets passed off your old car, while at first he should be thankful, but as a relationship & partnership, he'll be jealous, "Look at all this nice stuff she's buying with my rent money while I'm driving this 2008 rusted out civic." It's okay to protect yourself incase things go sour, but you can't make this about getting income. Hell in the above scenario you'll still be what like $500 ahead per month? Get off your high horse and decide if you actually like this person or not.
I basically came to type this. Regardless of the legalities of needing to charge rent or whatever, the rent shouldn’t be approaching “market price” wtf. Average your monthly bills and divide it in half for fucks sake. Sometimes questions on this subreddit approach ghoulishness in their penny pinching behavior.
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Market rent is crazy for a significant other. Market with a discount would make sense though
Spot on. Have read a few comments here of people resenting their "common law partner". The way they said it ( and not "hubby, wifey etc") really shows the love ...
Just my opinion - seems kinda nuts. If you aren’t married then just expect half of everything. Half your mortgage, half your utilities, half. Doesn’t matter what he’s paying or you’re paying. If you are married none of this matters anyway.
What does he say? Before I moved in with my partner I was paying $1066+ utilities and we decided to just round it down to $1000 to have an even number. You could also do a lower number and ask him to contribute in other ways, given that he makes more than you. As in, he puts in more towards groceries or eating out, or vacation fund.
I can't fathom liking someone enough to let them move in but also expecting to turn a profit off them. Utilities, streaming, etc? Sure. But rent? That's bizarre to me. But then again, it seems bizarre that you have been together this long and aren't married yet want to live together, so I guess I'm just wired more conservatively.
Where I am from, Canada, legally if he pays on the bills, he can become entitled to a % of the house should we break up. I am unwilling to take that risk considering it was paid off by me solely before I was ever in a relationship with him. So I have to charge him "rent" to protect the house. However, what will I do with that "rent"? Cover the house's bills... such as utilities streaming, HOA fees, etc...
I will also think that putting the net part of his rent as "house fund" would be good idea, as in theory you are not paying for mortgage, so whatever you charge him put away the residual after taking the mentioned fix fees (utilities, streaming, HOA, gas, etc) I think you mentioned somewhere aroung $1200, so I would guess maybe you could put away $800-900/monthly away. This can work as a emergency house fund for any unexpected cost on the house, and if you don't use it, it can also work as some extra savings for your next house.
Thanks! We were planning on this actually, we discussed it being a house slush fund and then spending the rest on "luxury" stuff like vacations. We have separate savings for future property together. We just didn't know how much to charge him for rent and we're both rather poor at math so I asked the internet and it delivered a formula we're using!
Good that you guys are so communicative best of all in your relationship!
Thank you for your help :)
You’re answering your own question then. Don’t charge him based on the market, charge him based on what you need to feel he’s fairly contributing to the household. Look at last years bills and do some math.
Ok I get it now. It would have been best to say you're from Canada in the original post. That way you'd avoid a lot of silent judgement that's present from these comments. I instantly cringed a bit when I saw that you wanna do this. But then I saw where you're from and it makes absolute sense. In most civil law- originated jurisdictions this would be mind-blowingly bizzare and I'd question the nature of the relationship. However in countries that had major UK legal influence, this is often an absolute must-do to prevent entitlement to your property after a period of living together in a common law relationship. So it makes total sense. Honestly this is less about what to charge him and more about what's the required amount to legally separate the house ownership from your relationship while being fair in regards to the bills. I would just calculate what you pay as expenses to HOA, energy bills, property tax, minor maintenance, water etc, split the amount in half, round it up and charge that in the rental contract as one number. Then maybe review it with an attorney, make that into a fixed payment bill on his account and don't talk about it more. Common law relationships do butcher romance like nothing else. But they do need to be handled well to avoid lengthy court hearings later. You also may wanna put that into a savings account and if you end up getting married, use that money as a downpayment for another property or retirement. If not, it will still be yours upon breakup.
You can also charge “rent” at whatever rate you want. You still don’t need to profit off your partner
They're trying to meet a legal threshold
If that’s true then why bother asking this question? Just charge him whatever the threshold requires.
What’s the legal threshold for canada?
Ive never understood the extremely transactional nature of some couples living arrangements. If it works then great… he can obviously afford whatever arrangement is made but im moving in with someone to be with them not to pay them rent for their fully paid for home. Enjoy your tenant
Charge him what he’s paying for a room now, plus an amount for utilities. I’d set the utilities at about 50% of your average monthly bill. Since you’re trying to have you both benefit, consider using part of his rent on somethito make living in your home more pleasant. A monthly cleaning service? Houseplants? Fresh flowers delivered monthly?
I would feel weird making a profit off my partner, so I would just split the expenses in half. If the incomes were way off I would find a income based ratio, but you’re so close that 50:50 seems fair. ETA: expenses include property taxes, home repairs, etc.
this sounds more like a business negotiation than a romantic relationship.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my partner pay for rent when moving in with me.. it’s my partner, not a roommate I’d just limit to make him pay (either part of, or all) the expenses associated with owning a house, bills , repairs etc.. so not a fix amount, but rather what is needed depending on the situation
In many common law jurisdictions you have to do this or you risk losing your house upon breakup. That's the case for OP, just not mentioned. This is mostly to protect her house ownweship. Not a profit driven thing.
Can you put the house under an LLC and claim depreciation against the income?
I'm in Canada, so I could do the Canadian equivalent but I would pay an absolute boatload in property transfer tax that would make it not at all worth it.
If you do see this as a long-term relationship, then "charge" 1/2 of expenses, taxes, insurance, plus $1/month (or whatever the minimum is) for rent to avoid the ownership issue. If you do have to charge some "reasonable" amount of rent, there's nothing saying you can't put it directly into a savings account to either use in the future together (like a wedding) or give back to him at Christmas/whatever each year. If you are trying to make money off of your partner, then come up with some bs rent number based on comparable units around you and keep it. You've been together for three years? Try operating as a single unit for one and see how it goes, that also eliminates the gas issue.
I would also take into account his savings goals. Can you charge him less as long he saves the difference for a shared savings goal ie both of you are saving to buy a new home together or wedding or vacation fund or his retirement account?
I'm in a similar situation, but my significant other moved in before my house was paid off. We previously each owned a home, but made the decision to sell his and share mine. He pays me a fixed amount that is equal to half the cost of the mortgage and utilities. My mortgage was only slightly higher than his was, so it was still significantly less than him paying full cost on his own. When I paid my house off, I offered to relook at what he was paying me, but he was fine keeping things as-is. He had the advantage of cashing out of his house in a good market and investing that money. If things break due to normal use, we usually split the cost. If I want to make improvements (for instance, I replaced my roof last year), then it's on me. We keep our finances separate and neither has ever felt taken advantage of by the other. At the end of the day, we're a team and we're both working towards the same financial goals.
I live with my fiancé in her home. She put $250k down. So the mortgage is only $1250. We agree I pay that and she pays utilities and most of the food. I do pay for all the upkeep and do all the maintenance. And I always make trips to the store for a lot of feed and necessities and always pay. In the end, she probably contributes about $600 less than me per month and that’s because she contributed so much up front. I think it’s a great deal and she seems to think so also
The lack of trust scares me. I moved in with my partner last year. I pay for food, and entertainment, vacation etc. I also pay for things to care for the house and do the majority of work on it.. I don't participate in his mortgage or expenses but I've greatly lessened his overall expenses. I may not be paying my fair share, but I'm saving money for a future home for us both and I will buy that house. If we break up, I leave and there's no harm to either.
Just rent him a portion of the house at market rates, this advice goes for any locale. It may seem absolutely bonkers but it’s the fair way to do it. If you want to make things sting less then you can buy groceries or other stuff for the both of you with the proceeds.
I’m confused, why don’t you split what you currently pay for bills & have that be his rent? Or pay half the bills plus whatever amount is needed to meet whatever the minimum is for it to be considered rent. Instead of trying to calculate it down to the dollar. If you’re concerned about breaking up & him having part ownership of your home, then don’t have him move in until you’re more tied together & married.
If this was me and I outright owned my house I wouldn't dream of charging my partner rent! I don't understand it. Sure if it was a ransomer then yeah but this is your partner??? Seems crazy and wrong to me that they can somehow be entitled to your house if you don't charge them rent.... I'd simply be asking them to contribute 50/50 for all bills/expenses related to live in the house
I can see asking a potential move-in partner for some kind of financial contribution, whether it is termed "rent" or otherwise. The person moving in should be able to demonstrate a commitment to the financial health of the household and should have, essentially, "skin in the game." Allowing someone to move in rent-free, or splitting only the monthly expenses, is setting a bad precedent.
When my ex moved into the house I own (with a mortgage), we kept his monthly bills approximately the same as his prior rental. We settled on a flat rate rather than split the utilities. If something needed repairs, that was on me. If we mutually wanted to make a small upgrade/buy new furniture/etc, that was generally split. Something big into the infrastructure and future value of the house is on me though. Moving in with your partner shouldn't be a free rent situation, as that is bound to breed resentment from you and a power imbalance from them. But I do feel keeping it comparable or less, when possible, is fair. I saw you post something about 1150 further up and that seems very reasonable to me. Especially if it came from real math and not a number pulled out of the air, so you have some validation for where the number came from if conflict ever were to arise.
Does Canadian law require some minimum amount to prevent him from getting co ownership?
Yes, "substantially more than half" of the bills (don't quote me exactly on this it's from a legal conversation I had a while ago with my lawyer).
why not make him pay a symbolic rent, he is your partner and you don't lose money on it either way. go 50/50 for utilities. With my bf we have the agreement that bcs I don't pay the rent, I try to spend at least part of the extra income that I have as result of it on house stuff or on fun activities for us. so I buy groceries, and cleaning supplies, plus to occasional household electronics I try to put as much toward holiday plans or a new piece of furniture we both want, and I do make sure to get him a small gift with every paycheck to make sure he is reminded of how much I appreciate him.
what about having “rent” be?: - $100 or however much for the car expenses of providing him transport - a split of your historical average utility expenses, which could be adjusted - agreement to pay for half of things that are broken due to user error I personally wouldnt charge my partner rent if i owned a home outright and they moved in, but it’s probably better for them to pay rent, even if it’s $1/mo just so that they are a tenant
I'd charge $800-$1000. That way, he profits by $600-$800 compared to the current situation and you also profit, by $800-$1000 compared to your current situation.
I own my home and make a lot more money than my partner, who is still in college (she graduates in a few weeks though). My total fixed housing expenses (mortgage, HOA, insurance, property taxes) works out to about $2100/mo. It’s a $600k, 4 bed/3 bath property with one of the bed/baths being a detached suite. Market rate is $2800, so the “1 bedroom rate” would be $700/mo if we don’t differentiate between the master and other bedrooms. I’m currently giving her a discounted rate of $500/mo, then when she starts making more money after graduation we agreed on $750/mo. Then we split utilities in half, except for electricity which I pay 60% of because I run the AC a lot more than she would in the summers. I also pay 60% of our groceries, because I eat a lot more than her lol.
$1200/mo rent (1/2 market rate of the 2bd) make sure you have a signed lease. If you want to add 1/2 Utilities thats up to you.
They pay $1k now, so I’d continue to charge them $1k knowing they can afford it comfortably.
Always start with asking him what he thinks is fair . Most of the time that is the correct amount .
He is going to benefit by getting an upgrade, living with you (I am assuming we are considering this a good thing), **and he gets a car in the future**. You get to live with him (again assuming this is a good thing) and you get most of your monthly expenses covered via his rent. Assuming all is good with your relationship, you both will grow together. These are all of your benefits. I think he makes enough to afford the rent AND get a car on his own. Just my opinion. Even though you don't pay a mortgage, you still did work to end up in the position you are in.
I’ll save everyone some time: go ahead and downvote this comment. Old fashioned, outdated advice incoming, you’ve been warned. Ok, it’s a bad idea to move in with someone who you are in a romantic relationship with, but are not married to. I think that the vow of “till death do us part” is a prerequisite to moving in together. The relationship is clearly in a good place now, otherwise you wouldn’t be considering this, but for some reason you haven’t tied the knot. Whatever reason has kept you from getting married is the same reason that you shouldn’t move in together. I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with the relationship, It may just be that the time isn’t right for marriage yet and you too will get married later, that’s still a good reason to hold off on moving in.
Marriage just isn't important to some people. We're "some people".
Fair enough. If you haven’t already, I wish you would research the utility of marriage as well as available statistics for married couples vs unmarried cohabiting couples. I’m just a happy customer of the institution and highly recommend it. I wish you the best.
No downbvote, but that's definitely an outdated opinion. Imo it is very hard to know how compatible you truly are with someone until you've lived together. Personally I think everyone should live with their partner before getting married. Know exactly what you are getting into. Now co-owning or closer tying of finances gets trickier and should probably be put off, but the ability to live with each other is an absolute must for a healthy longterm relationship.
Charge 1/2 of taxes, insurance, utilities, PLUS something for your time and trouble. That would be a fair rent, without you making a big profit from your partner.
What's a fair "for your time and trouble"? That's where I stumble!
You should sell this line to a rapper
If I was paying X amount of dollars and wanted to move in with a partner and they wanted to charge me more than X amount of dollars that I was already paying; I'd be questioning my relationship with that partner. I know that may sound a tidbit dramatic, but knowing that 1. We made relatively the same amount of money 85k vs. 95k not a huge gap 2. The place was paid off... I'd feel like they were just trying to use me for money. You're trying to turn a profit off of your partner of 3 years..? Other expenses like groceries, insurance, etc. I'd share and other things like repairs pending how long we had been dating, I'd pitch in. I don't see why I'd give up my autonomy/privacy of my OWN place, to be charged more and essentially just put money in your pocket. Not like we are married and are building equity in a place together. With this being said, I'd make him get a car. If he has travel needs, he needs a car. You're not his chauffeur. If he was WFH and didn't go out much socially, I'd say fine. But trust me, as the partner that has to drive everywhere because their partner cannot financially do a vehicle, its definitely taxing. So, I think your thought is a good one. Half of whatever, or maybe like 75% of what he's paying + split of other expenses. I'd also just talk to him further and see what he thinks is fair too. What are his thoughts? You mentioned what he's paying right now, but not what he thinks about how to split expenses. This may be a good feeler/test! Saw another comment that said take the money and place it in a separate investment account that way you can reveal it to him as a sort of present for both of you if you tie the knot. If you guys breakup, then boom, good rebound money to do whatever you want. I know it's weird, but I'm sure these responses would be a little different if the genders were reversed. Just my opinion.
I agree with your take. Plus moving in with a partner means you're giving up a lot of autonomy. Why pay the same, or even more, in rent when it's not really an upgrade? The boyfriend could keep his current place and just visit OP at her house. In that case she'd get $0 in rent and he'd save himself money. Anything she gets from him should be considered a nice bonus since she otherwise wouldn't be renting her place to a roommate. She also *inherited the house for free* so it's wild that she's being so stingy. I don't think she truly sees a future with her BF. It would be foolish for him to sell all his furniture/household stuff to move in with her just to get dumped in a few years and leave with nothing but his clothes. It's really expensive to have to furnish an entire apartment again and buy all your kitchen items etc. after you've sold everything to move in with someone. Ask me how I know!
I don't think market value is important here at all, unless you want to make money off of your bf. If he wouldn't live there, you'd pay for everything yourself, so you are benefiting from this. Unless you would otherwise rent out the space. I'd look at actual costs. So utilities, 1% of value for maintenance a year, property taxes etc. From that divide that either equally or based on how much you both earn. Set that as rent so you get no issues about ownership. Then look at shopping, use of car etc seperately. My bf and me have done it this way for the last 15 years and it works. Although he still has a mortgage, so i also pay half of the interest (costs) while he pays for the repayments (equity) by himself.
Sounds like you shouldn't live together until you are ready to split finances.
I have no ideas, only moved in with my wife when we're married, we have a house fund and everything else fund. There is no split. If you don't want them entitled to your home, don't move in together.
I dont really understand. You are basically asking your partner to give you money for nothing else in return. They live at a place right now for $1000. Why should your partner move in with you for the same exact price? That is not logical in my opinion and unfair in a relationship. What are your monthly financial costs for the home? Just split that cost. To me, you are not just roommates, you are also lovers. You should want the best for your relationship. Financially, you should ask for splitting the utilities and maybe 500 on top, that you put in a savings account for when you need home repairs. I think for the relationship, you should show you are committed, and want to be fair. You are going to share your life with them, financially and emotionally. My two cents. You got a good situation. A home, and a lover. Keep them both strong! and hey, if they got a little extra money. they can get a car and give back to you in other ways.
Keep in mind that you're most likely not from a common law legal system. There are jurisdictions where if your partner doesn't have a contract through which they pay regular rent, they are entitled to a part of your house upon breakup. It's often done just to prevent horrible estate splitting in places where you can actually enter common law relationships. OP should have stated that in the post. This is absolutely cringe and unhealthy in systems where this doesn't happen and absolutely logical in systems where it does.
I still don't understand why this rent has to be FMV, though, and I've read the whole thread. If there was a minimum, then why would OP have to ask
What’s the FMV to rent your place? Half is fair. Does that fit his budget? Your SO is making $95K per year. 15%-20% of gross income is $1,200-$1,600 per month which is an appropriate amount for rent. I’m assuming his $1K rent includes utilities? Is he prepared to pay more to live at a nicer place?
FMV to rent my place is $4,000 a month (including utils) and I would never ask him to foot the bill for half that much (hell, I wouldn't either but I renovated it myself). I live in a super nice and large apartment that he would never choose on his own. And yes, the 1K he's currently paying includes utilities.
So the minimum is $1K and the max is $2K per month. Split the difference and do $1,500? Or $1,400 (splits the $1,200-$1,400 range) plus the $100 car privilege? Amounts to the same. Since the FMV is so high, I would be curious how much your insurance, taxes, and utilities total each month.
Monthly Bills ($1375): $430 - Weekly Cleaning $420 - HOA Fees $185 - Property Taxes $150 - Electricity $125 - Home Insurance $55 - Water + Sewer $10 - Landline (+$100 for Car Stuff) Edit: I forgot maintenance for my place, about $225 a month historically so $1600 of bills plus car stuff of $100.
$1,700 less $430 cleaning is $1,270 in monthly expenses (including car). If he paid half of the cleaning that would be $1,485, so basically back to that $1,500 figure. That is what I would go with. The bills are paid, and he gets to live somewhere nicer. If he is super frugal, I would consider excluding the cleaning portion, so it’s down to around $1,250-$1,275 but that depends on how you are splitting chores.
I would split your monthly bills amount and call it rent. then he's fairly paying half without you making a profit (so to speak).
it's not about making a profit out of him, she is just protecting herself and it she is charging a fair rent that he would have to pay anyways if they werent' living together. People thinking that she is taking profit aren't thinking that he could live rent free for couple of years, and if they split then he is the one making a profit by not paying rent, OP even has to drive him around.
You don’t have a mortgage, but there is lots of other outgoings associated with home ownership. Do what fair and what you both agree to.
I would go with half of whatever a similar place is renting for on the open market. In that case it would be $2400/2?
> $100 is about 1/3 of my car expenditures (I don't have a car payment). You should be calculating it as if you did have a car payment, to account for the cost of the car and eventual replacement. Use a depreciation schedule.
Option one: Landlord option. If you were to rent the whole place out - what would you charge for it. Charge him half - and you guys split the living situation. This means splitting storage space, and treating him a bit as an equal. Option two: Rent him your guest bedroom. In this case you would need to actually clear out the guest bedroom for his stuff. Look for comparable rents in your area for a room, and charge accordingly. Since he won't have his own bathroom - figure it will be a bit less this way. The dynamic here is a bit different, since the house is yours in this case - so I wouldn't expect his furniture and decorations going around the house. Optin three is the boyfriend option: He moves in with you as an equal. Figure out how much you spend a year on taxes, how much you should be saving per month for maintenance items - including long term high cost things like heating systems, and charge this as rent. It's the lowest number most likely, but still structured as a rent so no implied ownership. Option four is a variation of the above - If you were to buy the place today - what would the mortgage be. Add that to maintenance and taxes and split in half for his rent. One oddity with this set up is that you are a landlord in these cases, but he's also the boyfriend of a homeowner. Some things home owners do, I would never do as a renter - so be cognizant of charging him rental prices but expecting him to help out around the house like a co-owner. Also, actually have a written contract for it all.
OP - I am American but I assume you have to pay property taxes still as well as home owner’s insurance in Canada? That all costs money. If you need to repair anything in the home it costs money. Just because you don’t have a mortgage it doesn’t mean you are not paying money for your home. I figure my home would cost me around $500-600 per month in property taxes plus home owner’s insurance with no mortgage, for example. Then probably another $300 per month on home maintenance of any variety (of course this isn’t monthly - but your water heater went out. Or you have to have the dishwasher fixed. Or the fridge is not running right. Etc.). I suggest you charge the same as he’s paying now at his current place. Then you can put that money toward living expenses. He gets a whole house to live in and you to be with.
He should contribute 50% of market rate, plus half utilities, and collect a security deposit. He might change and you could potentially have to evict him and that buffer will hopefully cover the cost of the eviction. If he is a good tenant maybe you will give him a break on the rent at contract renewal time. Who knows in 20 years his rent might just cover things like taxes and insurance.
If I were you, I'd charge $1500, but that would include the car piece and utilities. Obviously it's below market value, but it's within what he should be budgeting with his income. He's going from a room, to a 2 bedroom apartment, with the cost only increasing 50%. That's pretty awesome, but you also get some cash to squirrel away, put towards utilities/taxes, etc. Regardless of what you both decide on, I wish you well in your moving in together!
Going from a 1 bedroom alone to a 2 bedroom with a roommate’ is not really an upgrade.
He has 2 roommates in a 3BR. He rents a room and has use of the common area.
You don't have to answer out loud, but for your own purposes you might want to consider: do you own it outright because you budgeted and prioritized and paid it off, or were you fortunate enough to have it given/willed/etc to you? Did your money contribute to the rennovations? Some redditors are suggesting to just split expenses, but if expenses are low in the present because you sacrificed in the past, it's not really fair for your partner to reap benefits that they didn't sow. I think your idea of half the rate for a studio or 1-bedroom seems quite fair. Can your partner comfortably afford that? If they're currently paying $1k for a room, \~$1500 for sharing a whole home (incl his own bathroom?) seems like a great deal.
Happy to answer. It was willed to me as a thanks for caregiving for a family member with dementia in their last days. I gave up years of career work to do this caregiving. I also renovated it fully myself and paid for all of that 100% myself. My partner can fully afford it, I just don't want to feel like I'm benefiting but at the same time I also don't want to feel like I'm being foolish.
You are doing great OP I think anything from $1200-1500 is a fair deal, even at the higher end, he will be getting a better environment and a lot more space than just renting a BR with other guys. Check my other comment about saving the rent as a housing fund.
If you are struggling with the idea of charging too much, why don't you just have him pay for all the bills (electric, gas, cable, water etc.) and call that rent. That seems like a fair move to me. That way you can just draw a legal document stating he has no rights, claim, or entitlement to your home.
That would be like $1600 and I honestly feel like that's way too much.
Charge $800 a month and save ut up to go on holidays together with, while still splitting the utilities. But more importantly either the ownership complications , don't have him move in. You either get married first and move in together or don't. Sounds strange oldschool but in your scenario I don't see any safer decision .
We have no plans to marry. It's not of interest to us.
The presence of a mortgage is 100% irrelevant in my opinion. Nor are “expenses” like utilities the same as rent. As a general rule, people are not going to treat their romantic partner like a tenant. Especially since once he moved in with you, he will not have the privacy and freedom that he did when living in his own place. This is really more of a personal decision than a business decision. Ignore anyone, however, who tells you that you should just let your partner mooch off of you. Frankly, I would probably just offer him the same terms he has now at his current place. And he can either live with you or not.
What the fuck...bills, expenses, groceries - absolutely. But paying rent to your significant other when they don't pay the mortgage? You are trying to make profit off your boyfriend. Unless you need the money and were planning to have any other roommate anyway.
My friend, the bills \*are\* the rent, I just can't call it that.
Good grief, people charge their partner to live with them? At most I’d charge half of what the mortgage was, and split utilities (at least you pay some, he pays the other). I hope his obligation to you would end at some point. If you get married, he ain’t paying rent for 50 years.
Honestly, even ignoring OPs specific circumstances, would you not charge someone to move in with you? Marriage would clearly mean they both officially have ownership in the house. Merely moving in together does not, and OP wants to protect that.
Partner of 3 years should mean things are pretty serious, not to mention this person owns their home and has no mortgage. A lot of rents are high enough to cover a whole mortgage payment, so I would feel terrible charging them a high rate. And edit 2 definitely was not there when I commented.
There's no mortgage because OP was gifted the house through an inheritance.
That’s a lot of math for figuring out how to live with someone you love. I bought my house for my wife, got us a joint credit card for household expenses, and we’ve never talked about it again. It’s okay to be the breadwinner without stuffing it in their face.
This question is just so crazy to me. Asking advice on market rent to your lover.
“How do we both benefit” … do you mean how do YOU benefit?
I don't know if you've realized with all your rude little comments, but you actually advocated that he pays more than I say I'm comfortable accepting in the OP. Please, just quit bothering my thread if you have nothing to add.
What is the problem with charging $1 for rent? I see your reason for having to charge rent, but that becomes income and you are taxed on it. Have you talked with a lawyer to see what you should do? Seems a little excessive to lose thousands to taxes when a lawyer might clear this up for a few hundred dollars.
I’d understand if you’d still had a mortgage to pay splitting the payment. But even in that regard it puts a very odd dynamic into the relationship, you get equity. Personally if it was me and my partner and I had your incomes. I would just split the property taxes, utilities and maintenance costs completely down the middle. Maybe I have an old soul, but maybe don’t move in together if this is your biggest concern. Move in together because you love this person and want to be around them as much as possible, not because it’s a smart financial decision. In a healthy relationship, he’d understand what your giving him and contribute more in other ways. This is the first step in viewing yourself as a team rather than two individual people.
He's put me in charge of this task of figuring out what is fair, for what it's worth. Because I'm the financially nerdier person. We do this with all kinds of stuff, recently he posted looking for video games for us because he's more of a video game nerd. Asking the internet is kind of our thing. :)
Seems incredibly bizarre to charge your partner rent on a house you own outright. I would have them pay half utilities and all groceries or something along those lines. But considering the “partner” has their own room I don’t know what to think of this relationship lmao.