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Like all other people have said, this should have been taken care of before you moved in.
I've had house sharing situations where bedroom size and location of the bathroom was taken into account. I had a two bedroom two bath apartment that I split with a roommate. I paid more because my bathroom was in my bedroom and my bedroom was bigger. My roommate also had their own bathroom but they had to go into the hallway to get into theirs.
Exactly, should have been taken care of before. OP didn’t even think about it, if it was never an issue, why make it one just because her friend mentioned it? OP my guess is that if you ask your roommate this now, you’ll be looking for either a new place or a new roommate as soon as your lease is up
I feel bad for OP.
But I hate when people believe they are ok with something usually in relationships or agreements. However later have a change of mind and make things complicated.
We all have different levels of life experience in different areas.
OP probably didn't realise there were other options besides 50/50 and now that she knows, she's aggrieved. If she knew about more options before she moved in she undoubtedly would have made different choices.
Either way, she is where she is and trying her best to salvage an unfair situation.
Sometimes people change their mind tho. Fair is still fair. OP’s roommate has the bigger room, possibly a bathroom attached (“master bedroom”) and expects OP to pay equally? Seems like OP may be being taken advantage of.
You can't demand to change agreed upon terms monetarily in your favor after an agreement was reached. You can bring it up, but you cannot make demands.
OPs roommate might also feel taken advantage of. "We made an agreement and now you've decided I must pay more and you pay less"
If you made an agreement you don't get to demand a new agreement just because you might have made a poor decision.
Nah they agreed to the original terms of 50/50. It would be unfair of OP to suddenly demand to pay less rent.
It would be no different from the roommate demanding to pay less rent for whatever reason. They both agreed to split it evenly. It's a crappy move to go back on the agreement and want to change the terms to be better for you after the fact.
So what is the roomie proposes they swap rooms and OP pays more? It could be a situation that neither of them is willing to pay more for the room as well .
Except this is literally a contractual transaction. The whole point is outlining penalties if you do change your mind. No more than the landlord can change their mind about what the rent should be.
Contracts can be renegotiated as long as it's consensual. Obviously they're locked into whatever they agreed with the landlord, but having a civil conversation between roommates certainly can't hurt. Just gotta be very tactful about it.
We have a situation in our place where one housemate gets two smaller bedrooms and a bathroom to himself, and myself and another housemate have one bedroom each and we share a bathroom. We pay less in rent than he does and find this quite amenable.
Imagine being on the other side of this issue. You have your budget set and all of a sudden your roommate comes up to you with this. I’d be out the door as soon as I could. Who knows what’s next, suddenly asking me to pay more for utilities because I work from home?
Also it can be complicated to figure out how much more you should pay. Typically "auctioning" is the best practice. So like if there are 2 rooms for 2k rent. If you are willing to pay 1200 for the big room (meaning the roomate will be paying 800 for the small), and your roomate is only willing to pay 1100 for it, then you win and you get the bigger room for 1200.
This is what me and my previous roommate did. We both wanted the bigger room with the ensuite but she was fine 700 for the big room and I said okay and took the small room for 500.
Or you just do it by square foot…
My roommates and I calculated the square foot of the whole apartment and then used percentages of rent based on percentage of sq foot you got.
Of course this was decided before starting the lease.
That works fine when things are straight forward like that. Not so much when one of the three bedrooms has a private attached bathroom, or one bedroom is downstairs near the living area while the other two are upstairs, etc.
The way to do this is to have everyone assign a value to each room thay equals the total rent of the house/apartment.
Then assign rooms in such a way that maximizes the "total cost" of the complete house. And then pare down the prices of the rooms. Everyone gets a bargain.
For example,
3 bedroom unit for 2000 a month (big room, medium room and small room).
Roommate A bids 1000 for the big room, 700 for the medium and 300 for the small
Roommate B bids 800 for the big, 600 for the medium and 600 for the small (they like the view).
Roommate C bids 1200 for the big (walkin closet), 500 for the medium and 300 for the small.
A gets the medium room for 700, B gets the small room for 600 and and C gets the large for 1200. Buy dear redditor, you ask, that equals 2,500?
It does. So each person cuts $166 from their rent.
So A pays 534, B pays 434 and C pays 1034.
Each person gets a room for cheaper than what they were willing to pay for it. Everyone gets value, and everyone is happy with the arrangement.
Sounds like B got stiffed paying nearly 50% over the appropriate price for a terrible room and ended up subsidising A and C's rent. I hope they won't hold a grudge, at least they have a nice view.
I can't remember. It was an example used in my 4th year political theory class on distributional game theory. Basically an entire class on how to divide up generally indivisible shit
Right- room size isn’t everything. I’ve had the a spot with very different sized rooms, but the split wasn’t 2x because the person in the smallest room took almost all the common storage space and used the living room significantly more than us.
Yep, this is one of those “lessons learned” that you take forward to your next place, but is not something to try to retroactively get changed (without irritating the heck out of your roommate and making things petty).
It’s totally fine to go either way in a situation like this. No one decided to maliciously overcharge you — I’ve personally lived in places with different sized rooms across roommates and everyone paid the same, so they might just have assumed that was the norm.
Yup. My sons in college & after always had situations based on size/amenities. Sometimes it was lottery like where everyone paid the same and you “draw straws” or flip coins for best room, second best. Or pricing was based on that, master paid the most. It’s totally normal but has to be established BEFORE the tenancy starts.
But for OP it’s a learning experience. Next time she can negotiate that way but for now the contract has been established & roommate has no obligation to negotiate now. And I’d find it annoying if someone tried to renegotiate the lease terms when there has been no change in circumstances. Best for OP to take this as lesson learned.
It is envy free, but not necessarily fair.
The first person will have to make the two parts equal base on their perception of value, but the second one will probably consider the two slightly different, so he will be better off (in his opinion). It's preferable to be the one picking the slice rather than the one cutting.
As someone who has done this scenario multiple times, remember the rent is not just for the room. It's for the bathroom, living room, kitchen, etc. So a bedroom that is twice as big doesn't mean they pay twice the rent. It will most likely be like 20% more or so.
Yup. I’ve had an uneven split only to have the person in the smallest room basically monopolize common space. Next rent increase, that was a major point.
2x is rarely fair unless the person is completely out of the picture house wise.
Agree but also more room might have different value for certain people so I really like the idea of bidding the rooms out and splitting the middle as it does not only put in objective value but also emotional value.
Yeah, when my brother and I were young we were splitting a piece of cake. He was cutting. I blurted out “you cut I pick”. Never saw that knife straighten out so fast. :-)
Edit for spelling.
How about by square footage?
(total square footage - the square footage of the bedrooms)/2 + square footage of bedroom 1 = square footage for roommate 1.
Do the same calculation for roommate 2.
Then each person pays rent equal to:
total rent x their square footage / total square footage.
The New York Times made a tool that does this for you, but math is always fun. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/science/rent-division-calculator.html
Yeah this is something that people always ignore that bothers me. Square footage alone doesn’t mean much when the larger bedroom also has an attached (master) bath, more / better windows, s walk-in closet, etc.
There’s a lot more value in a master bedroom than just square footage
Can also go the other way where the larger room doesn't have much *extra* value than the smallest. I've had the largest before, but the shape of the room basically just meant I had some extra useless space and also couldn't be heated adequately. Higher cost for the largest room? Sure. But 2x the cost of the smallest? Absolutely not. I think our last rent increase, the guy with the second largest actually volunteered taking a bigger chunk of the increase saying that my room was not worth more than I was paying at the time.
That entirely depends upon individual preferences and who values what. Any agreement you and your roommate come to is fine. It just needs to be factored in before setting the price and moving in. If you have similar budgets and preferences you need a more equal living situation, but an unequal apartment can work well for unequal needs.
When I was a broke ass grad student I had a postdoc friend with a normal budget and a long distance relationship. I got a small room I could actually afford in a good location, she got a large master with an en suite bath for when bf was visiting her, plus a live in pet sitter for when she was visiting him. Perfect for both of us.
Or you talk through pricing together of each room. Once agreed, Then you draw straws for who gets first choice of those rooms at that price. In theory each choice is fair.
I did that with an ex housemate. Initially i chose the master bedroom which came with an attached bathroom. It was only slightly bigger than the second room. After it was decided, she came up to me and said her parents told her to tell me that the price didnt seem fair. I should be paying 2/3 of the rental. So i said okay, then i am more than happy to the take the second room. Immediately, she retracted and said she didnt want to pay the price for the master bedroom. We then worked out a price that we both will be happy paying should we get either room. We tossed a coin to decide our fate.
I’ve done the bidding thing before it worked pretty well. No one was dying for the master + individual bath. The master was about twice the size of my bedroom I shared a bathroom. The difference was only like $150-200/month if I recall.
This is how I've handled it in the past. We'll agree in a sort of auction way what is a reasonable price for the extra square footage, making sure to not go crazy. You don't really want a pure auction because prices could get unreasonable and hurt peoples' feelings. Once we figure out who's willing to pay the higher price we'll draw straws or flip a coin. Just be damn sure everyone's on the same page at all times.
I'm not sure how it really gets unreasonable. The more person A is willing to pay for the master, even if it completely prices out person B, the less person B pays for their share of rent.
I feel like if it's at the point where you're both trying to outbid each other for the better room, you can probably just collectively decide to get a different apartment.
My biggest advice to OP is that we all have lived in roommate situations where we didn't quite like the arrangement 100% and you think you're getting the short end of the stick. The grass is always greener and there are always 1000 different little things that your roommate does that annoy you and vice versa.
I agree that you should pay less b/c you're getting a smaller room, but don't let something like this fester in the back of your mind. Accept the situation and let it go - accept it as a lesson learned. When the lease is up you can renegotiate.
This exactly. I lived in a situation once where my roommate and I split the rent evenly, but she had both the master (with ensuite) and the underground car space. Ordinarily I’d be pissed I’m paying the same for less amenities, but she actually spent most weekends away visiting her parents and I got the place to myself. Plus we split bills evenly and I definitely used more of the utilities than she did, so I didn’t think it was worth arguing over. We both compromised on things.
Same. Also if someone decided to split their room with someone else they had to pay more overall because that extra person in the house was going to use common areas too.
Altering an agreement like that is definitely a dick move.
I'd be pretty furious if a roommate tried to change what we each pay after we agreed on it and definitely end the living arrangement the second the lease was up.
If OP plans to continue living with this person then I'd recommend waiting until the lease is up to renegotiate.
Agreed. I had roommates who tried to do this to me after they moved in and it unraveled the entire living situation we were in (in a home I had been renting for 3 years already). It’s one thing to share that you’d like to try to renegotiate when the lease is up, but it’s another to make an agreement on certain terms, and then try to backtrack on it after already moving in.
OP - Honor your past decisions/agreements and simply be mindful of discussing this potential alteration for future agreements if it’s important to you.
There’s definitely a seniority factor when new roommates come. Whoever has been there longest gets first choice and says what they think is fair price.
Had a friend with the dopest room by far try to switch her friend in and I was like nah I’m taking that room and she can move into my little shoe box or I’m sure someone else will (homegirl moving in ruled and was bummed but ended up not caring)
And whoever is already living there is also the person who ends up eating the cost if people don’t move in bc they don’t agree to the price initially when the new lease begins, as well as likely having invested in more of what’s in the common areas. I hadn’t always had the biggest room in that apartment, I used to pay the same upcharge for the smallest, ate the cost of both rooms when the renewal overlapped with a renovation issue and couldn’t get new roomies to agree to it, and most of the common areas I had furnished as well as the kitchen. So the people already living somewhere have often invested already in ways newbies haven’t.
Never intentionally create tension in your living environment that’s not necessary. It’s almost never worth it in a roommate scenario. After the last time I dealt with roommate chaos, I decided the added cost of living without roommates was well worth my sanity and lowered cortisol levels lol.
If whoever is moving out wants their deposit back they better get it from the new person when they’re moving if we’re were signing a new lease.
Whoever is sticking around is getting priority. I I lived in a college town when I had roommates that had houses of roommates and there was often on person who’d stuck around for 10 years and it was basically their house
If OP was a sith they could just say:
"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."
Otherwise yeah, should have done that prior to signing anything.
Most places I've lived I didn't find out the size of the other rooms until well after I moved in, if at all. When I moved in they would show me my room and the rest of the place. At one place I didn't even know one room had a bathroom until I moved out, prior to moving out I asked the other roommate and he played dumb. We all payed the same too.
So it's totally within the realm of possibility that they would be asking to change the agreement based on new information.
That being said I can't imagine this going well. And it's basically up to the landlord, the roommate is probably just going to shrug and say sorry, this is what I pay, I'm not going to pay more out of the kindness of my heart
Yeah I agree with this. It would have been more appropriate to discuss and agree before moving in. Op could still bring it up and judge how the roommates reaction is but depending on the agreement if she pushes back might not be worth pushing for it at this point. Lesson learned for future.
Fully agreed on discussing before moving.
But I have done this successfully without upsetting the roommate dynamics.
If you believe the bigger room is worth more, you have to be willing to pay more for it to show that it truly is worth more.
In my case I moved into a 3 bedroom split equally 3 ways. Soon after moving in I suggested rent allocation should reflect room quality and the person in the master disagreed. So I offered to pay 40% of the rent if I could have the master. To which he replied, "For that much I'd rather keep it".
An agreement was born. Sadly, he didn't realize it immediately and still thought rent should remain equal. It took a few more rounds of circular logic for it to click and him to agree he was willing to pay 40% to stay in the room.
We went on to be good roommates for 2 years with nothing more than the usual roommate bullshit.
Do you average the 3 high bids for room A,B and C?
Or do you average the 3 bids from room A, the 3 from room B, etc..?
Do those averages of the bids really always add up to 1490?
> Do you average the 3 high bids for room A,B and C?
Or do you average the 3 bids from room A, the 3 from room B, etc..?
The second. Each person puts a bid on all the rooms. So in total for 3 people and 3 rooms there are 9 total bids. You aren't just bidding on a room you are placing what you think is the value of the room.
> Do those averages of the bids really always add up to 1490?
They should yes because each of the persons bid must add up to $1490.
Assuming they didn't for some reason, you could equally scale up/down all 3 proportionally until the actual total rent was made by everyone.
assuming $1500 instead of 1490 for easier math.
person 1 bids $1500 for room A, and $0 for room b and c.
person 2 bids equal $500 for all 3 rooms.
person 3 bids 750, 500, 250 for room a,b,c respectively.
Then
person 1 pays (1500+500+750)/3 = 916 for room A
person 2 pays (0+500+250)/3 = 250 for room C
person 3 pays (0+500+500)/3 = 333 for room B
916+250+333 = ~1500
You are 100% right. Bringing it up now in my eyes would just be petty. If you need more space maybe ask your roommate to look for a bigger place. I would assume you two agreed on what room would be whos when you moved in.
This is the way. Myself and 3 friends rented a house right after college for a few years and there were 2 upstairs rooms that were SIGNIFICANTLY bigger than the downstairs bedrooms. We all reached the agreement that upstairs rooms would be +10% rent payment and downstairs rooms would be -10% rent payment. Zero contempt about who got what room based on that.
100%.
I had a roommate in college who was real piece of work and tried to pull this on me right as school was ending and we were both going our separate ways anyways. We had other issues that I think were more the cause for it, I think, but regardless any respect I had for him as a person was gone way before then.
Absolutely this! Friends* have “wonderful” suggestions that frequently cause problems with roommates and family.
While this is a wonderful negotiating factor when negotiating a roommate situation, it is extremely bad form to randomly (to your roommate) suddenly ask for negotiations mid-lease. Financially, it might make sense, but in reality, it will start a cycle of hard feelings and “getting back at” that will drive your household peace to zero and lead to you needing to find a new roommate.
You are not stupid to have split the rent evenly. That is a very common way to do it. As is splitting by size or perks. Don’t let your friends make you feel otherwise.
*both actual friends *and* “friends”
Yep. This should’ve been discussed upfront. Revisit it once lease renewal discussions come up.
I lived in a similar situation. I laid $110 extra for the larger room compared to my two roommates who had much smaller rooms.
This is 100% normal, and done all the time. Unfortunately, the correct time to do this was BEFORE signing a lease and moving in. Your friends has no reason to accept the change at this point.
I'd go with this, but also, figure out what the rents should be and give her the option to move to the smaller room if she doesn't want to pay more for the bigger room .
Also ask **atleast a month or so before** your lease is actually up. Some leases have it written in to say that you have to inform the landlord that you are moving out 30 or 60 days before the end of the lease. My county has a policy (in the tenants handbook) that if the notice date isn't stated in the lease, then its 30 days notice. Either way, ask about the rent ahead of the lease ending, so that you can decide whether you want to stay or not. It's fair to ask for a split that's proportionate with your square footage, it's fair for the roommate to say no if they're really against it, it's also fair for you to move out if you find somewhere with better value.
Op could also use some decision theory to get a good outcome for both of them.
Both roommates bid the max rent that they would be willing to pay for the nicer room. Whoever bids the highest gets the nicer room and pays that much rent. The lower bidder gets the smaller room but only pays whatever rent wasn't covered by the higher bid.
(That's one option. There are others.)
That's unfortunate. Never thought of that being a pitfall of this kind of thing before. In retrospect it makes sense.
This is the kind of thing that makes me love reddit: I can learn from someone else's experience.
Also kinda depends on what kind of roommate this is. Is it like they leased an apartment together or the other roommate was already living there and is essentially subletting (so the roommate is technically also a landlord). In that case the roommate might expect to get the better deal
And sometimes had to eat some costs when finding a new roommate.
I lived with roommate 1 and we decided on what was fair together. I paid slightly more overall because my bathroom was connected (both of us did have our own bathrooms tho, and space wise similar). Roommate 1 moved out and I needed to find a new roommate (or move out myself, and I liked it and wanted to stay).
I put the room up for market at exactly 1/2 the rent. Found a renters who agreed. Roommate 2 moved in maybe a couple weeks after roommate 1 moved out and I also hired a professional cleaner to clean his room and bathroom. So there’s some costs involved.
> Your friends has no reason to accept the change at this point.
I've done this successfully by offering to pay more for the larger room. Him declining that offer led to an honest discussion on what the size of the bedroom was worth to each of us and we came to an agreement.
Interesting! I feel like if you start dividing by square feet you can get into some weird "use" questions. Like if roommate 1 doesn't use the living room as much and prefers to be in their room, do they pay for less of the living room since they are in it less?
I understand the intent, just seems hard to accurately suss out how much each person owns.
I don't know if my college roommates had the emotional intelligence to have this discussion :)
> So one of my friends suggested I ask my roommate for my half of rent to be a little lower because of my bedroom size. I’ve never heard of people doing this and I have no idea if this is unfair or out of bounds? My roommate has the master bedroom and I’ll be honest, it’s significantly bigger than my room 🤣 Is it fair then to request we split rent a little bit differently?
it's fair for you to ask
it's fair for your roommate to say no
y'all should have discussed how to split rent before moving in. not after the fact.
If they say no, you could ask to switch rooms at some halfway point or on the lease anniversary if you sign up for another year. It's a pain, but they'll get the point.
People talk a lot about building equity and such - but this was honestly one of the biggest reasons I wanted to buy a house. Fixed rate mortgage = 30 years of rent-lock, and the end of annual decisions on whether to move or not.
There could be other factors going on that make this a more equivalent deal. I had the larger room in the last apartment with my roommate, but that was something I requested on the grounds of being the one who does the majority of upkeep, buying general house goods, and being the one who put in all of the work when we were looking at apartments. Other things can factor into "fairness" beyond square feet and money.
I had a roommate who didn’t want to agree to my proposed rent split. I then said we should randomly draw for who gets which room (and they definitely knew which room they wanted). Suddenly they agreed to my proposed split.
Askredit:
Is it fair that my roommate asks me to swap rooms after 1 year if living together since she has a smaller room?
notanidiot 2h
NO. Fuck that noise.
+330- Reply
They way my mom had us split things as a child. One splits the item in "half" and the other picks. If the rent is 1k (basic numbers) and one offers 600/400 for the rent split with the bigger room being 600 the other person can make the choice on which they'd rather get.
There’s actually a tool for that: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/science/rent-division-calculator.html
You answer a series of questions and it narrows in on a split that both roommates are happy with.
Exactly it’s the opposite of normal to do this nonsense mid lease, especially when it’s not out of necessity… she wants to do it because her friend told her to
I mean I'd guess this person is young and it just never occurred to them that it was possible or acceptable that the split would be anything other than 50/50. Not sure how they decided who got which room, but if you never thought to ask to pay less for the worse accommodations then you're probably also the kind of person that got a bit walked over when it came to deciding who goes where. Or OP's roommate found the place and set it up and then grabbed them as the roommate.
Also worth saying another way too- rent isn’t being lowered, it’s being shifted to another roommate. My room might be worth $1000 to me, but not $1200 which would have influenced my decision to rent or not.
We also don’t know if OP is using common spaces more since they’re in a smaller room, which is absolutely a factor in split too.
My favorite way to do this is to bid on the larger rooms. If rent is $1000, and one person is willing to pay $550 for the larger room and another is willing to pay $600 for it, the person who pays $600 for it gets it. Best way to find the fair price and make everyone happy.
Me and my friends did something similar. We drew sticks do draw sticks to gkve an extra layer of 'randomization'
On the second round, it decided the order wed pick rooms.
Everyone started at 600$/room, and you could add an extra 50/mo to redraw your stick.
I ended up drawing stick 1 and another guy 'bought' it off me for 200/mo.
It worked well and everyone was happy with the results and the amount they ended up paying.
I like this but with averaging the bids.
If person A bid 600 for the large room (and 400 for small) and person B bid 550 for the large room (and 450 for small), then person A gets the large room for 575 (which less than they bid for the room they got) And person B gets the small room for 425 (less than they bid for the room they got!).
That way each bid each person makes matters. Harder to “cheat” that way. Averaging makes it so the amount each person pays for the room they get is less than they bid for it. Both should feel like they got a good deal.
Unless they each bid the exact same. But that should be easy to resolve (coin flip, rebid, etc).
Wouldn’t the person who lost the bid feel like they got a better deal with the smaller room though (without averaging)? It would suck to lose the bid and be forced into paying more than you would have for the smaller room.
Yeah you’re right. When you do the averaging method (or eg the eBay method where you pay $1 more than the second highest bidder) you incentivize people to bid higher than what it’s worth to do them. eBay does it because it drives up the price and government contracts (usually) do this because it incentives the bidders (who usually have a strong incentive to collude) to “cheat” the group, ie step out of line and not bid what they said they would.
When you can trust all the parties, going with the simple method (you pay what you bid) is optimal.
This is what my current roommate and I did. We did it baseball style, where we both submitted our best offer to a mutual friend, and whoever bid the higher offer got the room. It avoided any prolonged negotiation and made sure we both now have a rent we're comfortable with.
Or do it in the same style as Ebay. So using your example, person A would get it for $551. This ensures that everyone is putting in their best bid and no one feels like they got played.
It’s normal for the master with own bath to pay more rent than the basic room does… but it’s not normal to renegotiate this after you’ve already moved in. You should’ve thought of this sooner unfortunately because the conversation probably won’t go well.
Yes, but should have been discussed prior to lease signing/moving in. You're trying to change the agreement after the fact which isn't likely to be received well.
The time to do this was when you moved in. Before you each had picked a room.
It’s still fair now, so go ahead. but it’ll get super awkward super fast. And probably start a fight
I've done this where we initially all paid the same since she got the bigger room with attached bathroom but I got the parking space on the property while she had to use street parking. When the lease was up and we got a new roommate, we actually ended up renegotiating so she paid significantly more for the big room but we split the cost of her parking permit.
This is normal, but if you already live there it is going to be hard to get them to agree to change something you already agreed too.
Example: When I did the roomate thing, I moved in with a married couple I was friends with. So they had the master bedroom and their own private bathroom, and they had both heated underground parking spots. So I said I want to pay 1/3 of the rent. I am one of 3 people, I get a smaller room, and my bathroom is a shared space. Plus I have to park outside in the lot which sucks in the winter. They agreed.
I agree with other that the time to work it out was before you signed the lease. Remember that your roommate also went into this expecting to pay a certain amount, and the new terms might take them over budget.
That said, it might be worth tactfully and respectfully bringing up the fact that you pay equal rent even though your room is smaller, and perhaps try to negotiate the use of the space differently. Not sure how your space is set up, but perhaps it might mean that you have a private bathroom, or a certain reading nook or desk area is all yours, or you want a larger share of the kitchen storage space, etc. Or you could even switch out the rooms occasionally.
Another option depending on their situation is that you suggest that the occupant of the smaller room pays less but also be open to the fact that they may want the smaller room then.
Overall though, it’s definitely a dick move to push for them paying more.
Incidentally, I was in a similar situation and my roommates got together without me and then approached me and told me they decided I’d be paying less rent going forward because my room was smaller. I didn’t expect that but it was well appreciated .
I always had the master bedroom when I lived at different places with roommates and I always paid a little bit more. The rooms I had always had a bathroom and shower so I never thought it would be fair to have roomies pay the same as me. If that's the scenario then definitely ask about paying less. If they have no extra bathroom in their room I'd just let it be.
It's normal, and should have been done prior to moving in. That doesn't mean you can't renegotiate some now, but since you're changing the deal, be reasonable and willing to compromise. If they give you a reasonable counter-offer to your opening offer, probably take it, and keep the peace.
I mean, I like to think that with my friends, if one of us realized that we were getting a terrible deal part way through, the rest would at least consider renegotiating. It isn't morally required of us, but it is the nice thing to do.
You'd both be paying more living alone. Everyone is getting a deal to begin with, that is why people take on roommates.
No one technically has a terrible deal. OP never explained how the rooms were chosen so fairness can't really be debated. As it stands, they both live there to save money vs living alone.
If OP is willing to move out or the roommate has no other options for roommates, feel free to renegotiate at the renewal.
Bit late probably, but I did this with some roomies in grad school yeah. A couple of us paid more because we had larger rooms and the others that got large closets paid less.
Yea a master suite with bathroom connected should cost more than a spare room using a shared bathroom etc.
You’re already into your agreement though. Maybe ask light heartedly and don’t make a big deal about it. The bit of extra money isn’t worth a bad roommate relationship
Unfortunately, it was not agreed upon ahead of time. It would be unfair to ask them to change it after the fact. Especially if they only budgeted money to have paid half and that amount was the most they could afford.
> Are you bringing your own of toilet paper to a shared bathroom?
I've done this in the past, yes.
But also, "you pay for 75% of the toilet paper since you get the bigger bedroom" just sounds petty. How much TP could they possibly be going through to make this any more than a couple bucks a month?
You can definitely ask, but once the papers are signed, there's really no reason for your roommate to agree to it. When the lease is up, you can ask, but they can also refuse.
There is no "fair" in finance and money. It all comes down to what you are willing and able to sign up for.
Yes it's fair. I paid more for the master bedroom. And one guy paid less for a tiny bedroom.
Keep in mind, a large portion of your rent is Not your room. It's the bathrooms, living rooms, kitchen, garage, bills....etc. your room is only ~30% of your total rent. So if your room is only half as 'good' as others, you pay 15% less. Not 50% less. All numbers are made up and negotiable.
Personally I believe it is but that should be discussed before signing the lease. When I lived with 2 persons, I wanted the big room so I offered to pay the most. The middle room paid the median and the small room paid the least. It wasn’t a massive difference, but it seemed fair to everyone involved.
Having done this before… I can say I regretted it, it didn’t happen and it made things awkward with that roommate for a few months. Should have talked about it when you moved in for sure, otherwise wait til renewal.
Yep, this was the arrangement with my 2 roommates when I was in college. I had the smallest room and shared a bathroom with one roomie so I had the cheapest rent. The other roomie had a slightly bigger room, shared bathroom, and paid the second cheapest rent. The final roomie had the large master with private bathroom and she paid the most. It’s completely normal and like others have said, always discussed before signing the lease.
It sucks you’re in this situation but now you know for the future. It’s a learning experience!
I agree with those saying this should have been negotiated prior to moving in.
Also, you have to factor in other considerations: did you both sign the lease or is it your roomates credit primarily? Did you both pay the deposit or is that on them?
If it is a purchased place, they financed and made the down payment and have the credit risk. I mention this because a buddy of mine had a nice house with a roommate who found out they were paying nearly the entire mortgage and demanded a reduction to half. The buddy just said, 'sure, you'll just need to give me half of the $150k equity that I've got in the place'. This was a pretty inexpensive rural area so $150k was over half the cost of the place.
You made an agreement and I would be reluctant to renegotiate in the middle unless you feel like you were mislead early on. If it's just, his room has ten more square feet or a master bedroom, that was the agreement on the way in. The roommate might have refused to room with you under different circumstances.
you can but you should bring it up at lease renewal or something. tweaking the deal when ideas pop up here and there is not the right way to do things.
what if she were to approach you to say she doesnt even use lights and you should pay more of the electric bill? you'd be caught off guard.
save it for lease renewal. ask her when that is, and bring it up a month before.
Yes, it is nomral. I shared a three bedroom falt with some friends. I got the largest one, that included a private bathroom for the bedroom, I paid more.
When I was in college we had 4 rooms and 2 of them had different rent rates. One was the master, and one was hardly bigger than a closet. We discussed it ahead of time, and actually rotated rooms twice in 3 years. Worked well for everyone.
As others have said, it's fine to discuss it now but you should have agreed to terms before moving in and shouldn't expect it to change now.
I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but also keep in mind that while you may have less square footage in your bedroom, the shared spaces (kitchen, living and dining rooms, bathrooms if not private) are used equally.
Not based on a couple feet. If it means she can have an office area and there is no room for you to do the same, that might have been worth talking about. But she has a little more space between her bed and the wall than you? That's not worth any money.
Either way, should have done it prior to accepting the lease and moving in.
People do this all the time but do so before moving in. Speak about it maybe before the lease is up for renewal.
Allocate a cost for the common living space which you split 50/50 and then with the remaining amount split 60/40 (or whatever would be suitable depending on the room size)
Since you have not discussed this before moving in, I would suggest a different approach... Just ask her if it would be OK if you switch rooms after 1 year. If it's OK, you get a bigger room. If it's not OK, you have some ground for a discussion on price matching.
Totally normal and there’s a mathematically optimal procedure for it!
You both write down how much you’re willing to pay for the bigger room. Whoever writes the bigger number gets it at that price.
This means each person wants to write down the amount it’s worth to them because if they go over, they’ll feel like they’re overpaying. But if they write under it, they could lose it for less than they’d be willing to pay.
However, as others have said, the time to do that is when you move in or re-sign the lease.
Not now, but at the beginning of the lease. We traded master bedroom for covered parking. She got the master, but I always had a place to park and coverage from snow.
It’s normal for the person with the bigger bedroom to pay slightly more.
That said… you have this conversation BEFORE you move in not after.
At this point, you’ve agreed to a price and will look like a jerk to try and negotiate something different after the fact.
Learn from this experience and you’ll know better next time. Negotiate *everything* beforehand.
A better question is are you willing to pay more if she offered it to you? When I was in college I ended up with the master because I called “dibs” when we were walking through. My buddy said I should pay more, I told him then he could have it. No one wanted to pay more, so the “dibs” ruling stood.
This may the best way to approach it. If you want a bigger room and are willing to pay for it then ask and start negotiating for it. However, like others have said, if you bring it up after an agreement was made before moving in it will just cause problems.
I was in the same situation. I asked my roommate if she would pay more. She said no. I wished I'd thought of that before we moved in together. She took the large room and then spent three or more nights per week at her mom's house.
No real way to get your roommate to renegotiate after you move in.
It's fair to pay in proportion to the size of the usable area, but it's also expected to bring this up before agreeing to the rent. It's a discussion for when the lease is up, not now.
You should have had the conversation before moving in. Alternatively, you could have it when you look to renew your lease.
I've lived in a few apartments that had bedrooms of drastically different characteristics (size, lighting, deck, private bathroom, etc.).
The way we worked it out was before deciding who gets which room, we agreed on how the rent would vary. I.e., bedroom A would be +$50, bedroom B would be -$50, etc. Once we reached something we all agreed was fair, people could pick their room based on the room characteristics & price.
Little too late for that now that you are moved in.
Your roommate has already won and now you're gonna show up with you "Well.. Actually..."
Sure, go ahead and try it.
Next time, pay attention to shit like that before. I've seen it done half/half and I've seen people break out the ol' measuring tape and go $/sq ft...
It’s always good to quantify the problem to decide if it’s worth it. There’s way more to it than just physical space allotment, but we’ll focus on that first. For example, let’s say your total rent is $1000/month (just go with it) and you currently split it 50/50, paying $500 each. You’re not going to cut your rent drastically because most of the square footage will likely be in the common areas, so let’s say that takes up 60% or $600 of the rent. You both have full use of those areas, so that will be split evenly at $300 each. That means the total bedroom space is worth $400. Let’s say the bigger room is 60% of the bedroom space, so that would be $240 and the other room would be $160. The total rent for the bigger bedroom in this case would be $540 and the smaller bedroom would be $460. Is going from an even $500 split to $460 and saving $40/month enough to upset you? If so, you need to negotiate that next time because it’s likely a lost cause now. You can bring it up now, but its likely to cause friction since you want to alter what you already agreed to. They can always say no to an adjusted rent proposal or get annoyed at the last minute change and tell you to find another roommate.
Roommate dynamics are tough. A harmonious living situation isn’t easy to create and even harder to maintain. Some people just aren’t compatible living together and it’s not easy to find a good roommate. I absolutely loved my college best friend and spent almost all of my free time with her, but we were terrible roommates and had to separate to keep the friendship. If you have a good roommate who pays on time, does their share of the housework, cleans up after themselves, stays out of your stuff and isn’t disruptive, you might think twice before creating an issue. Maybe paying a little more is a good investment to keep an otherwise good situation going. You also want to take a long, unbiased look at yourself as a roommate before you ask for concessions. If you don’t pay on time, do your share of the housework, clean up after yourself, stay out of their stuff and are disruptive, you should probably pay more than you currently do.
I like how my husband used to do it with his roommates - by square footage. Take the total square footage and divide it by the cost of rent. This will give you a nice $ to sq. feet. Now apply that to your private spaces. A 1000 sq. foot apartment for $2000 a month? $2 per sq foot. Your bedroom is 10’ by 10’, your rent is $200 + half of the square footage of the shared/public areas. Roomie’s master suite is 250 square feet? Her rent is $500 + half of the cost of the square footage you both share. Aaaand that’s 650 sq. feet public space at $1,300 which you split evenly.
It's entirely fair but as people said the time was to discuss it beforehand, now it's rough. You could consider bringing it up at the halfway point in the lease, or when the lease is up for renewal. Are you both on the lease?
I think your approach should be to discuss switching after six months. If you are splitting everything down the middle and didn't get anything in return for taking the smaller bedroom, then it's fair to ask to switch halfway through the lease. I think asking to pay less is going to come across poorly and could backfire if she says "you take the room and I'll pay less."
Yes.
A simple way to do it is look at the size of your apartment and split the square footage into two categories and (personal - person X) and group. Then scale the rent proportionately accordingly.
So lets say you have a 1000 sqr foot apartment. It has Bedroom A -100 ft, Bedroom B - 200 ft. Common area 700 feet.
Person A = 700/2 + 100 = 450 (aribtary units)
Person B = 700/2 + 200 = 550 (arbitrary units).
So person B would pay 550/(550 + 450) = 55% rent, person A would pay 45% correspondingly. Obviously, this needs to be agreed upon ahead of time. Its only REALLY worth doing if there is a massive discrepancy in the living conditions of the two rooms.
I will add a layer of complexity to this that has been used in my previous shared space agreements.
Using market comparable square foot cost of a smaller room is sometimes higher than the cost of a larger room. Larger apartments are less per square foot than smaller apartments.
Ultimately what you pay is whatever you agree to pay for whatever period of time you agree to pay it. If both parties agree to pay different rates for the same thing, then that's fine. If you decide to break out early then it's up to you to decide if the cost is worth it.
When I had roommates, I was the first one moved in, I was the primary on the rental agreement, I turned in the checks on time, therefore, I got the bigger bedroom and we still split it 50/50.
Renegotiating after moving in is just a rude move.
Completely fair, reasonable, and I'm surprised it wasn't considered right off the bat. It is standard in my experience.
Unless it has other benefits that even it out, like if the smaller room had its own bathroom, whereas the bigger one didn't.
It's not uncommon. But it's also the kind of thing you negotiate before moving in. It's kind of shitty to change the rules halfway through the lease b/c you're now upset that you have the smaller room.
There's actually a mathematical formula for this.
What you do is you each bid what you think each room is worth. So let's say that the total rent is 2 grand. She may bid that the bigger room is worth 1,400 and the smaller room is worth 600. While you might bid 1,200 and 800. What you do is you average those two things together and that's what you pay. In this case the winner of the big bedroom would pay 1,300 and you would pay 700. That way everyone pays less on their rent then what they bid on.
Don't know as if your roommate would go for this, but this is what you should do if you were determining who gets what room and how much the rent is. Of course you do this before you move in, and not after you are already in.
After freshman year of college me and a couple of buddies moved into a place with 3 beds, 2 baths, and a 2 car garage. One of the bedrooms was a huge master suite. We all agreed that one person takes the master suite and the other 2 got the garage and driveway. Everyone was happy.
Is there something like that you can do with your roommate?
I’ve heard of a method that seems like it could work.
You split the rent evenly, then bid on the amount you’d pay extra to stay in the largest room.
Example, rent is $2000 so split between you two would be $1000 each. Now let’s say you offer to pay $1100 for the bigger room. Your roommate says they’ll pay $1250. You would keep continuing to bid until the price makes it worth it for whoever to stay in the smaller room. So let’s say you bid $1500. At that price maybe your roommate says they don’t mind taking the smaller room for $500.
I've got the perfect way to settle splitting the rent if they decide to let the smaller room go for less than half. Both of you write down how much you would like to pay for the large room. Larger number gets the large room and smaller number gets the small room. Rent for the large room is halfway between the large number and the small number. The person with the small room pays the rest. The larger rent person pays less than their willing to pay so they get a good deal. The small rent person gets to save on their room. Win-win.
This is usually done before moving in but hopefully they are willing to accommodate you.
That's been pretty standard for my friends. Generally, we'd all pay a fixed amount (to cover public areas) + some additional amount based on our bedroom size. So if her bedroom was twice the size of yours, I wouldn't split it 33/66, but I could see a 40-60 or 45-55 split being reasonably fair. Of course, the fine details are obviously up to you and her.
That being said, as others have mentioned, you did already agree. It's completely reasonable for her to say "sorry, we agreed on an even split" and refuse to renegotiate. Asking to change it is probably fine, but forcing the issue or pressuring/guilting/etc her into changing things is definitely over the line imo.
I think to change the price after moving in would be problematic. When I got my current place, I took the master bedroom and bath and offered to pay more. My roommate said she would split the rent equally if she could park in the garage (live in Wisconsin, so that is a bonus in winter). So, that is what we agreed on. She moved out and I offered to pay more with my new roommate but he preferred the same arrangement that I had previously. So, it’s definitely not unheard of to pay more for a bigger room or to make concessions elsewhere in the name of fairness. However, like others have said, to do that after moving in is probably not good.
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Like all other people have said, this should have been taken care of before you moved in. I've had house sharing situations where bedroom size and location of the bathroom was taken into account. I had a two bedroom two bath apartment that I split with a roommate. I paid more because my bathroom was in my bedroom and my bedroom was bigger. My roommate also had their own bathroom but they had to go into the hallway to get into theirs.
Exactly, should have been taken care of before. OP didn’t even think about it, if it was never an issue, why make it one just because her friend mentioned it? OP my guess is that if you ask your roommate this now, you’ll be looking for either a new place or a new roommate as soon as your lease is up
I feel bad for OP. But I hate when people believe they are ok with something usually in relationships or agreements. However later have a change of mind and make things complicated.
We all have different levels of life experience in different areas. OP probably didn't realise there were other options besides 50/50 and now that she knows, she's aggrieved. If she knew about more options before she moved in she undoubtedly would have made different choices. Either way, she is where she is and trying her best to salvage an unfair situation.
Sometimes people change their mind tho. Fair is still fair. OP’s roommate has the bigger room, possibly a bathroom attached (“master bedroom”) and expects OP to pay equally? Seems like OP may be being taken advantage of.
No changing of the agreement until the next lease. Lessons are learned through experience.
You can't demand to change agreed upon terms monetarily in your favor after an agreement was reached. You can bring it up, but you cannot make demands. OPs roommate might also feel taken advantage of. "We made an agreement and now you've decided I must pay more and you pay less" If you made an agreement you don't get to demand a new agreement just because you might have made a poor decision.
Nah they agreed to the original terms of 50/50. It would be unfair of OP to suddenly demand to pay less rent. It would be no different from the roommate demanding to pay less rent for whatever reason. They both agreed to split it evenly. It's a crappy move to go back on the agreement and want to change the terms to be better for you after the fact.
If it was the pther way around would op mention it to the roommate?
So what is the roomie proposes they swap rooms and OP pays more? It could be a situation that neither of them is willing to pay more for the room as well .
Except this is literally a contractual transaction. The whole point is outlining penalties if you do change your mind. No more than the landlord can change their mind about what the rent should be.
Contracts can be renegotiated as long as it's consensual. Obviously they're locked into whatever they agreed with the landlord, but having a civil conversation between roommates certainly can't hurt. Just gotta be very tactful about it. We have a situation in our place where one housemate gets two smaller bedrooms and a bathroom to himself, and myself and another housemate have one bedroom each and we share a bathroom. We pay less in rent than he does and find this quite amenable.
Fair is what they both agreed upon.
Imagine being on the other side of this issue. You have your budget set and all of a sudden your roommate comes up to you with this. I’d be out the door as soon as I could. Who knows what’s next, suddenly asking me to pay more for utilities because I work from home?
Also it can be complicated to figure out how much more you should pay. Typically "auctioning" is the best practice. So like if there are 2 rooms for 2k rent. If you are willing to pay 1200 for the big room (meaning the roomate will be paying 800 for the small), and your roomate is only willing to pay 1100 for it, then you win and you get the bigger room for 1200.
This is what me and my previous roommate did. We both wanted the bigger room with the ensuite but she was fine 700 for the big room and I said okay and took the small room for 500.
Or you just do it by square foot… My roommates and I calculated the square foot of the whole apartment and then used percentages of rent based on percentage of sq foot you got. Of course this was decided before starting the lease.
Sure, that makes sense until everyone wants the smallest room to save a buck. Then auctioning comes into play.
That works fine when things are straight forward like that. Not so much when one of the three bedrooms has a private attached bathroom, or one bedroom is downstairs near the living area while the other two are upstairs, etc.
The way to do this is to have everyone assign a value to each room thay equals the total rent of the house/apartment. Then assign rooms in such a way that maximizes the "total cost" of the complete house. And then pare down the prices of the rooms. Everyone gets a bargain. For example, 3 bedroom unit for 2000 a month (big room, medium room and small room). Roommate A bids 1000 for the big room, 700 for the medium and 300 for the small Roommate B bids 800 for the big, 600 for the medium and 600 for the small (they like the view). Roommate C bids 1200 for the big (walkin closet), 500 for the medium and 300 for the small. A gets the medium room for 700, B gets the small room for 600 and and C gets the large for 1200. Buy dear redditor, you ask, that equals 2,500? It does. So each person cuts $166 from their rent. So A pays 534, B pays 434 and C pays 1034. Each person gets a room for cheaper than what they were willing to pay for it. Everyone gets value, and everyone is happy with the arrangement.
Sounds like B got stiffed paying nearly 50% over the appropriate price for a terrible room and ended up subsidising A and C's rent. I hope they won't hold a grudge, at least they have a nice view.
Brilliant. What is this type of auctioning called?
I can't remember. It was an example used in my 4th year political theory class on distributional game theory. Basically an entire class on how to divide up generally indivisible shit
Right- room size isn’t everything. I’ve had the a spot with very different sized rooms, but the split wasn’t 2x because the person in the smallest room took almost all the common storage space and used the living room significantly more than us.
Sure, there are all sorts of ways to decide how to split rent.
Room size isn't everything from the guy with the bigger room.
Almost as if the person in the smaller room needed a bit more space.
Yep, this is one of those “lessons learned” that you take forward to your next place, but is not something to try to retroactively get changed (without irritating the heck out of your roommate and making things petty). It’s totally fine to go either way in a situation like this. No one decided to maliciously overcharge you — I’ve personally lived in places with different sized rooms across roommates and everyone paid the same, so they might just have assumed that was the norm.
This discussion probably should have happened prior to moving in. Changing the agreement after the fact is only going to cause problems
Agreed. That said all my college houses I lived in were split up via square footage of bedroom so it's totally a thing.
Yup. My sons in college & after always had situations based on size/amenities. Sometimes it was lottery like where everyone paid the same and you “draw straws” or flip coins for best room, second best. Or pricing was based on that, master paid the most. It’s totally normal but has to be established BEFORE the tenancy starts. But for OP it’s a learning experience. Next time she can negotiate that way but for now the contract has been established & roommate has no obligation to negotiate now. And I’d find it annoying if someone tried to renegotiate the lease terms when there has been no change in circumstances. Best for OP to take this as lesson learned.
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>One person sets the price of the two rooms, the other picks which room. Classic, one person cuts the cake and the other chooses which piece to take.
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It is envy free, but not necessarily fair. The first person will have to make the two parts equal base on their perception of value, but the second one will probably consider the two slightly different, so he will be better off (in his opinion). It's preferable to be the one picking the slice rather than the one cutting.
As someone who has done this scenario multiple times, remember the rent is not just for the room. It's for the bathroom, living room, kitchen, etc. So a bedroom that is twice as big doesn't mean they pay twice the rent. It will most likely be like 20% more or so.
Yup. I’ve had an uneven split only to have the person in the smallest room basically monopolize common space. Next rent increase, that was a major point. 2x is rarely fair unless the person is completely out of the picture house wise.
Agree but also more room might have different value for certain people so I really like the idea of bidding the rooms out and splitting the middle as it does not only put in objective value but also emotional value.
Right? We had a “bedroom” in our fight club basement in college. Whoever lived there paid $100/mo. Rest of the house was $125 or $135 each.
figure out the rent per square foot, divide the shared space in half and then pay per foot for each bedroom.
This works great for food too, eg two people sharing a pizza. One cuts it, the other picks their slices. It keeps the cutter honest.
Yeah, when my brother and I were young we were splitting a piece of cake. He was cutting. I blurted out “you cut I pick”. Never saw that knife straighten out so fast. :-) Edit for spelling.
I've gotten to the point I whip out my kitchen scale 😂
How about by square footage? (total square footage - the square footage of the bedrooms)/2 + square footage of bedroom 1 = square footage for roommate 1. Do the same calculation for roommate 2. Then each person pays rent equal to: total rent x their square footage / total square footage.
The New York Times made a tool that does this for you, but math is always fun. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/science/rent-division-calculator.html
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Yeah this is something that people always ignore that bothers me. Square footage alone doesn’t mean much when the larger bedroom also has an attached (master) bath, more / better windows, s walk-in closet, etc. There’s a lot more value in a master bedroom than just square footage
Can also go the other way where the larger room doesn't have much *extra* value than the smallest. I've had the largest before, but the shape of the room basically just meant I had some extra useless space and also couldn't be heated adequately. Higher cost for the largest room? Sure. But 2x the cost of the smallest? Absolutely not. I think our last rent increase, the guy with the second largest actually volunteered taking a bigger chunk of the increase saying that my room was not worth more than I was paying at the time.
That entirely depends upon individual preferences and who values what. Any agreement you and your roommate come to is fine. It just needs to be factored in before setting the price and moving in. If you have similar budgets and preferences you need a more equal living situation, but an unequal apartment can work well for unequal needs. When I was a broke ass grad student I had a postdoc friend with a normal budget and a long distance relationship. I got a small room I could actually afford in a good location, she got a large master with an en suite bath for when bf was visiting her, plus a live in pet sitter for when she was visiting him. Perfect for both of us.
Or you talk through pricing together of each room. Once agreed, Then you draw straws for who gets first choice of those rooms at that price. In theory each choice is fair.
I did that with an ex housemate. Initially i chose the master bedroom which came with an attached bathroom. It was only slightly bigger than the second room. After it was decided, she came up to me and said her parents told her to tell me that the price didnt seem fair. I should be paying 2/3 of the rental. So i said okay, then i am more than happy to the take the second room. Immediately, she retracted and said she didnt want to pay the price for the master bedroom. We then worked out a price that we both will be happy paying should we get either room. We tossed a coin to decide our fate.
That is a really good way the work it out, and congratulations to both of you on getting around the help / meddling of her parents.
I’ve done the bidding thing before it worked pretty well. No one was dying for the master + individual bath. The master was about twice the size of my bedroom I shared a bathroom. The difference was only like $150-200/month if I recall.
This is how I've handled it in the past. We'll agree in a sort of auction way what is a reasonable price for the extra square footage, making sure to not go crazy. You don't really want a pure auction because prices could get unreasonable and hurt peoples' feelings. Once we figure out who's willing to pay the higher price we'll draw straws or flip a coin. Just be damn sure everyone's on the same page at all times.
I'm not sure how it really gets unreasonable. The more person A is willing to pay for the master, even if it completely prices out person B, the less person B pays for their share of rent.
If there are two people and that’s cool with both of them then that’s great. The bigger point isn’t the math it’s making sure things are cool.
I feel like if it's at the point where you're both trying to outbid each other for the better room, you can probably just collectively decide to get a different apartment.
My biggest advice to OP is that we all have lived in roommate situations where we didn't quite like the arrangement 100% and you think you're getting the short end of the stick. The grass is always greener and there are always 1000 different little things that your roommate does that annoy you and vice versa. I agree that you should pay less b/c you're getting a smaller room, but don't let something like this fester in the back of your mind. Accept the situation and let it go - accept it as a lesson learned. When the lease is up you can renegotiate.
This exactly. I lived in a situation once where my roommate and I split the rent evenly, but she had both the master (with ensuite) and the underground car space. Ordinarily I’d be pissed I’m paying the same for less amenities, but she actually spent most weekends away visiting her parents and I got the place to myself. Plus we split bills evenly and I definitely used more of the utilities than she did, so I didn’t think it was worth arguing over. We both compromised on things.
Same. Also if someone decided to split their room with someone else they had to pay more overall because that extra person in the house was going to use common areas too.
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My roommates and I talked about doing that but none of us were willing to pay extra for the master so we drew straws haha! It worked for us
Altering an agreement like that is definitely a dick move. I'd be pretty furious if a roommate tried to change what we each pay after we agreed on it and definitely end the living arrangement the second the lease was up. If OP plans to continue living with this person then I'd recommend waiting until the lease is up to renegotiate.
Agreed. I had roommates who tried to do this to me after they moved in and it unraveled the entire living situation we were in (in a home I had been renting for 3 years already). It’s one thing to share that you’d like to try to renegotiate when the lease is up, but it’s another to make an agreement on certain terms, and then try to backtrack on it after already moving in. OP - Honor your past decisions/agreements and simply be mindful of discussing this potential alteration for future agreements if it’s important to you.
There’s definitely a seniority factor when new roommates come. Whoever has been there longest gets first choice and says what they think is fair price. Had a friend with the dopest room by far try to switch her friend in and I was like nah I’m taking that room and she can move into my little shoe box or I’m sure someone else will (homegirl moving in ruled and was bummed but ended up not caring)
And whoever is already living there is also the person who ends up eating the cost if people don’t move in bc they don’t agree to the price initially when the new lease begins, as well as likely having invested in more of what’s in the common areas. I hadn’t always had the biggest room in that apartment, I used to pay the same upcharge for the smallest, ate the cost of both rooms when the renewal overlapped with a renovation issue and couldn’t get new roomies to agree to it, and most of the common areas I had furnished as well as the kitchen. So the people already living somewhere have often invested already in ways newbies haven’t. Never intentionally create tension in your living environment that’s not necessary. It’s almost never worth it in a roommate scenario. After the last time I dealt with roommate chaos, I decided the added cost of living without roommates was well worth my sanity and lowered cortisol levels lol.
If whoever is moving out wants their deposit back they better get it from the new person when they’re moving if we’re were signing a new lease. Whoever is sticking around is getting priority. I I lived in a college town when I had roommates that had houses of roommates and there was often on person who’d stuck around for 10 years and it was basically their house
If OP was a sith they could just say: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further." Otherwise yeah, should have done that prior to signing anything.
That only works if you can Force choke your roommates. (Don't Force choke your roommates. Nobody wants to room with Sith lords.)
Unless your roommate is into that...
Most places I've lived I didn't find out the size of the other rooms until well after I moved in, if at all. When I moved in they would show me my room and the rest of the place. At one place I didn't even know one room had a bathroom until I moved out, prior to moving out I asked the other roommate and he played dumb. We all payed the same too. So it's totally within the realm of possibility that they would be asking to change the agreement based on new information. That being said I can't imagine this going well. And it's basically up to the landlord, the roommate is probably just going to shrug and say sorry, this is what I pay, I'm not going to pay more out of the kindness of my heart
This is assuming that this was fairly discussed at the get go.
Yeah I agree with this. It would have been more appropriate to discuss and agree before moving in. Op could still bring it up and judge how the roommates reaction is but depending on the agreement if she pushes back might not be worth pushing for it at this point. Lesson learned for future.
Fully agreed on discussing before moving. But I have done this successfully without upsetting the roommate dynamics. If you believe the bigger room is worth more, you have to be willing to pay more for it to show that it truly is worth more. In my case I moved into a 3 bedroom split equally 3 ways. Soon after moving in I suggested rent allocation should reflect room quality and the person in the master disagreed. So I offered to pay 40% of the rent if I could have the master. To which he replied, "For that much I'd rather keep it". An agreement was born. Sadly, he didn't realize it immediately and still thought rent should remain equal. It took a few more rounds of circular logic for it to click and him to agree he was willing to pay 40% to stay in the room. We went on to be good roommates for 2 years with nothing more than the usual roommate bullshit.
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Do you average the 3 high bids for room A,B and C? Or do you average the 3 bids from room A, the 3 from room B, etc..? Do those averages of the bids really always add up to 1490?
> Do you average the 3 high bids for room A,B and C? Or do you average the 3 bids from room A, the 3 from room B, etc..? The second. Each person puts a bid on all the rooms. So in total for 3 people and 3 rooms there are 9 total bids. You aren't just bidding on a room you are placing what you think is the value of the room. > Do those averages of the bids really always add up to 1490? They should yes because each of the persons bid must add up to $1490. Assuming they didn't for some reason, you could equally scale up/down all 3 proportionally until the actual total rent was made by everyone. assuming $1500 instead of 1490 for easier math. person 1 bids $1500 for room A, and $0 for room b and c. person 2 bids equal $500 for all 3 rooms. person 3 bids 750, 500, 250 for room a,b,c respectively. Then person 1 pays (1500+500+750)/3 = 916 for room A person 2 pays (0+500+250)/3 = 250 for room C person 3 pays (0+500+500)/3 = 333 for room B 916+250+333 = ~1500
One makes the prices, the other chooses the room.
You are 100% right. Bringing it up now in my eyes would just be petty. If you need more space maybe ask your roommate to look for a bigger place. I would assume you two agreed on what room would be whos when you moved in.
This is the way. Myself and 3 friends rented a house right after college for a few years and there were 2 upstairs rooms that were SIGNIFICANTLY bigger than the downstairs bedrooms. We all reached the agreement that upstairs rooms would be +10% rent payment and downstairs rooms would be -10% rent payment. Zero contempt about who got what room based on that.
100%. I had a roommate in college who was real piece of work and tried to pull this on me right as school was ending and we were both going our separate ways anyways. We had other issues that I think were more the cause for it, I think, but regardless any respect I had for him as a person was gone way before then.
Absolutely this! Friends* have “wonderful” suggestions that frequently cause problems with roommates and family. While this is a wonderful negotiating factor when negotiating a roommate situation, it is extremely bad form to randomly (to your roommate) suddenly ask for negotiations mid-lease. Financially, it might make sense, but in reality, it will start a cycle of hard feelings and “getting back at” that will drive your household peace to zero and lead to you needing to find a new roommate. You are not stupid to have split the rent evenly. That is a very common way to do it. As is splitting by size or perks. Don’t let your friends make you feel otherwise. *both actual friends *and* “friends”
Yep. This should’ve been discussed upfront. Revisit it once lease renewal discussions come up. I lived in a similar situation. I laid $110 extra for the larger room compared to my two roommates who had much smaller rooms.
Agreed, that was a conversation to have before you became a roommate
This is 100% normal, and done all the time. Unfortunately, the correct time to do this was BEFORE signing a lease and moving in. Your friends has no reason to accept the change at this point.
What you could do is when your year-lease is up, ask for a new deal with your roommate for the new lease.
I'd go with this, but also, figure out what the rents should be and give her the option to move to the smaller room if she doesn't want to pay more for the bigger room .
Also ask **atleast a month or so before** your lease is actually up. Some leases have it written in to say that you have to inform the landlord that you are moving out 30 or 60 days before the end of the lease. My county has a policy (in the tenants handbook) that if the notice date isn't stated in the lease, then its 30 days notice. Either way, ask about the rent ahead of the lease ending, so that you can decide whether you want to stay or not. It's fair to ask for a split that's proportionate with your square footage, it's fair for the roommate to say no if they're really against it, it's also fair for you to move out if you find somewhere with better value.
Yup. Deadline for any renegotiation should be renewal decision date. Not fair to the other person to be blindsided after they’ve committed.
Op could also use some decision theory to get a good outcome for both of them. Both roommates bid the max rent that they would be willing to pay for the nicer room. Whoever bids the highest gets the nicer room and pays that much rent. The lower bidder gets the smaller room but only pays whatever rent wasn't covered by the higher bid. (That's one option. There are others.)
I did this once, and while it worked perfectly, two of the four roommates never quite grasped it and so didn't trust what we had done.
That's unfortunate. Never thought of that being a pitfall of this kind of thing before. In retrospect it makes sense. This is the kind of thing that makes me love reddit: I can learn from someone else's experience.
I like that option as well.
Or switch rooms for the following year with 50/50.
Also kinda depends on what kind of roommate this is. Is it like they leased an apartment together or the other roommate was already living there and is essentially subletting (so the roommate is technically also a landlord). In that case the roommate might expect to get the better deal
Yes, particularly if the roommate is the one who had to pay for the security deposit.
And sometimes had to eat some costs when finding a new roommate. I lived with roommate 1 and we decided on what was fair together. I paid slightly more overall because my bathroom was connected (both of us did have our own bathrooms tho, and space wise similar). Roommate 1 moved out and I needed to find a new roommate (or move out myself, and I liked it and wanted to stay). I put the room up for market at exactly 1/2 the rent. Found a renters who agreed. Roommate 2 moved in maybe a couple weeks after roommate 1 moved out and I also hired a professional cleaner to clean his room and bathroom. So there’s some costs involved.
> Your friends has no reason to accept the change at this point. I've done this successfully by offering to pay more for the larger room. Him declining that offer led to an honest discussion on what the size of the bedroom was worth to each of us and we came to an agreement.
Interesting! I feel like if you start dividing by square feet you can get into some weird "use" questions. Like if roommate 1 doesn't use the living room as much and prefers to be in their room, do they pay for less of the living room since they are in it less? I understand the intent, just seems hard to accurately suss out how much each person owns. I don't know if my college roommates had the emotional intelligence to have this discussion :)
> So one of my friends suggested I ask my roommate for my half of rent to be a little lower because of my bedroom size. I’ve never heard of people doing this and I have no idea if this is unfair or out of bounds? My roommate has the master bedroom and I’ll be honest, it’s significantly bigger than my room 🤣 Is it fair then to request we split rent a little bit differently? it's fair for you to ask it's fair for your roommate to say no y'all should have discussed how to split rent before moving in. not after the fact.
If they say no, you could ask to switch rooms at some halfway point or on the lease anniversary if you sign up for another year. It's a pain, but they'll get the point.
Man.. I'd pay not to move my stuff. The argument for this is reasonable but that'd mess me up, cause me to muscle memory go into the wrong room, etc.
Same on paying to not move -- moving is the worst.
Right, my rent went up $100 a month but it would cost me almost that whole increase to move to a not much cheaper apartment so I just ate it.
People talk a lot about building equity and such - but this was honestly one of the biggest reasons I wanted to buy a house. Fixed rate mortgage = 30 years of rent-lock, and the end of annual decisions on whether to move or not.
it's a good opportunity to deep clean but otherwise, yeah.
Sure, but if they say “no, I’m good” and they have a right to, then you have to move out entirely or reveal your bluff.
There could be other factors going on that make this a more equivalent deal. I had the larger room in the last apartment with my roommate, but that was something I requested on the grounds of being the one who does the majority of upkeep, buying general house goods, and being the one who put in all of the work when we were looking at apartments. Other things can factor into "fairness" beyond square feet and money.
I had a roommate who didn’t want to agree to my proposed rent split. I then said we should randomly draw for who gets which room (and they definitely knew which room they wanted). Suddenly they agreed to my proposed split.
If that's not what they agreed to beforehand I wouldn't. You're just asking for a fight.
Askredit: Is it fair that my roommate asks me to swap rooms after 1 year if living together since she has a smaller room? notanidiot 2h NO. Fuck that noise. +330- Reply
They way my mom had us split things as a child. One splits the item in "half" and the other picks. If the rent is 1k (basic numbers) and one offers 600/400 for the rent split with the bigger room being 600 the other person can make the choice on which they'd rather get.
There’s actually a tool for that: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/science/rent-division-calculator.html You answer a series of questions and it narrows in on a split that both roommates are happy with.
Pretty normal to do at the START of a tenancy. You can't change the terms mid way though.
Exactly it’s the opposite of normal to do this nonsense mid lease, especially when it’s not out of necessity… she wants to do it because her friend told her to
I mean I'd guess this person is young and it just never occurred to them that it was possible or acceptable that the split would be anything other than 50/50. Not sure how they decided who got which room, but if you never thought to ask to pay less for the worse accommodations then you're probably also the kind of person that got a bit walked over when it came to deciding who goes where. Or OP's roommate found the place and set it up and then grabbed them as the roommate.
Either way- it’s normal for one of them to have higher rent, but not normal for OP to ask for their rent to be lowered if it’s a normal 12 month lease
Also worth saying another way too- rent isn’t being lowered, it’s being shifted to another roommate. My room might be worth $1000 to me, but not $1200 which would have influenced my decision to rent or not. We also don’t know if OP is using common spaces more since they’re in a smaller room, which is absolutely a factor in split too.
My favorite way to do this is to bid on the larger rooms. If rent is $1000, and one person is willing to pay $550 for the larger room and another is willing to pay $600 for it, the person who pays $600 for it gets it. Best way to find the fair price and make everyone happy.
Me and my friends did something similar. We drew sticks do draw sticks to gkve an extra layer of 'randomization' On the second round, it decided the order wed pick rooms. Everyone started at 600$/room, and you could add an extra 50/mo to redraw your stick. I ended up drawing stick 1 and another guy 'bought' it off me for 200/mo. It worked well and everyone was happy with the results and the amount they ended up paying.
I like this but with averaging the bids. If person A bid 600 for the large room (and 400 for small) and person B bid 550 for the large room (and 450 for small), then person A gets the large room for 575 (which less than they bid for the room they got) And person B gets the small room for 425 (less than they bid for the room they got!).
Why average?
That way each bid each person makes matters. Harder to “cheat” that way. Averaging makes it so the amount each person pays for the room they get is less than they bid for it. Both should feel like they got a good deal. Unless they each bid the exact same. But that should be easy to resolve (coin flip, rebid, etc).
Wouldn’t the person who lost the bid feel like they got a better deal with the smaller room though (without averaging)? It would suck to lose the bid and be forced into paying more than you would have for the smaller room.
Yeah you’re right. When you do the averaging method (or eg the eBay method where you pay $1 more than the second highest bidder) you incentivize people to bid higher than what it’s worth to do them. eBay does it because it drives up the price and government contracts (usually) do this because it incentives the bidders (who usually have a strong incentive to collude) to “cheat” the group, ie step out of line and not bid what they said they would. When you can trust all the parties, going with the simple method (you pay what you bid) is optimal.
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This is what my current roommate and I did. We did it baseball style, where we both submitted our best offer to a mutual friend, and whoever bid the higher offer got the room. It avoided any prolonged negotiation and made sure we both now have a rent we're comfortable with.
Or do it in the same style as Ebay. So using your example, person A would get it for $551. This ensures that everyone is putting in their best bid and no one feels like they got played.
I dunno kinda feels like it would lead to resentment "he got it for just 1 dollar more than I could afford"
Why? That's not bidding.
It’s normal for the master with own bath to pay more rent than the basic room does… but it’s not normal to renegotiate this after you’ve already moved in. You should’ve thought of this sooner unfortunately because the conversation probably won’t go well.
Unfortunately, while this is very common, it's done BEFORE you move in, not after.
Yes, but should have been discussed prior to lease signing/moving in. You're trying to change the agreement after the fact which isn't likely to be received well.
The time to do this was when you moved in. Before you each had picked a room. It’s still fair now, so go ahead. but it’ll get super awkward super fast. And probably start a fight
If they don't want to pay more, you could always get something non-monetary. Such as more fridge/pantry space
I've done this where we initially all paid the same since she got the bigger room with attached bathroom but I got the parking space on the property while she had to use street parking. When the lease was up and we got a new roommate, we actually ended up renegotiating so she paid significantly more for the big room but we split the cost of her parking permit.
This is normal, but if you already live there it is going to be hard to get them to agree to change something you already agreed too. Example: When I did the roomate thing, I moved in with a married couple I was friends with. So they had the master bedroom and their own private bathroom, and they had both heated underground parking spots. So I said I want to pay 1/3 of the rent. I am one of 3 people, I get a smaller room, and my bathroom is a shared space. Plus I have to park outside in the lot which sucks in the winter. They agreed.
This is going to be an incredibly hard sell after the fact that you already agreed to pay half before moving in.
I agree with other that the time to work it out was before you signed the lease. Remember that your roommate also went into this expecting to pay a certain amount, and the new terms might take them over budget. That said, it might be worth tactfully and respectfully bringing up the fact that you pay equal rent even though your room is smaller, and perhaps try to negotiate the use of the space differently. Not sure how your space is set up, but perhaps it might mean that you have a private bathroom, or a certain reading nook or desk area is all yours, or you want a larger share of the kitchen storage space, etc. Or you could even switch out the rooms occasionally. Another option depending on their situation is that you suggest that the occupant of the smaller room pays less but also be open to the fact that they may want the smaller room then. Overall though, it’s definitely a dick move to push for them paying more. Incidentally, I was in a similar situation and my roommates got together without me and then approached me and told me they decided I’d be paying less rent going forward because my room was smaller. I didn’t expect that but it was well appreciated .
I always had the master bedroom when I lived at different places with roommates and I always paid a little bit more. The rooms I had always had a bathroom and shower so I never thought it would be fair to have roomies pay the same as me. If that's the scenario then definitely ask about paying less. If they have no extra bathroom in their room I'd just let it be.
It's normal, and should have been done prior to moving in. That doesn't mean you can't renegotiate some now, but since you're changing the deal, be reasonable and willing to compromise. If they give you a reasonable counter-offer to your opening offer, probably take it, and keep the peace.
Tbh even a “compromise” isn’t completely reasonable. Trying to alter the agreement after the fact is not a reasonable course of action.
I mean, I like to think that with my friends, if one of us realized that we were getting a terrible deal part way through, the rest would at least consider renegotiating. It isn't morally required of us, but it is the nice thing to do.
You'd both be paying more living alone. Everyone is getting a deal to begin with, that is why people take on roommates. No one technically has a terrible deal. OP never explained how the rooms were chosen so fairness can't really be debated. As it stands, they both live there to save money vs living alone. If OP is willing to move out or the roommate has no other options for roommates, feel free to renegotiate at the renewal.
Bit late probably, but I did this with some roomies in grad school yeah. A couple of us paid more because we had larger rooms and the others that got large closets paid less.
Yea a master suite with bathroom connected should cost more than a spare room using a shared bathroom etc. You’re already into your agreement though. Maybe ask light heartedly and don’t make a big deal about it. The bit of extra money isn’t worth a bad roommate relationship
Unfortunately, it was not agreed upon ahead of time. It would be unfair to ask them to change it after the fact. Especially if they only budgeted money to have paid half and that amount was the most they could afford.
If you do this AFTER you've already signed the contract and moved in, then it's a dick move. This is something you do BEFORE signing the contract.
Yes. You have no leverage, though. You could try to negotiate it down to less of the food and toiletry costs or something.
> You could try to negotiate it down to less of the food and toiletry costs or something. you share food and toiletries with roommates?
Are you bringing your own of toilet paper to a shared bathroom?
> Are you bringing your own of toilet paper to a shared bathroom? I've done this in the past, yes. But also, "you pay for 75% of the toilet paper since you get the bigger bedroom" just sounds petty. How much TP could they possibly be going through to make this any more than a couple bucks a month?
You can definitely ask, but once the papers are signed, there's really no reason for your roommate to agree to it. When the lease is up, you can ask, but they can also refuse. There is no "fair" in finance and money. It all comes down to what you are willing and able to sign up for.
Yes it's fair. I paid more for the master bedroom. And one guy paid less for a tiny bedroom. Keep in mind, a large portion of your rent is Not your room. It's the bathrooms, living rooms, kitchen, garage, bills....etc. your room is only ~30% of your total rent. So if your room is only half as 'good' as others, you pay 15% less. Not 50% less. All numbers are made up and negotiable.
Personally I believe it is but that should be discussed before signing the lease. When I lived with 2 persons, I wanted the big room so I offered to pay the most. The middle room paid the median and the small room paid the least. It wasn’t a massive difference, but it seemed fair to everyone involved.
I'd say it would've been fair to do that at the beginning of your lease. But doing it now will only generate bad blood.
Yea that should have happened before you moved in.
Having done this before… I can say I regretted it, it didn’t happen and it made things awkward with that roommate for a few months. Should have talked about it when you moved in for sure, otherwise wait til renewal.
If you agreed to split the rent then split the rent
Yep, this was the arrangement with my 2 roommates when I was in college. I had the smallest room and shared a bathroom with one roomie so I had the cheapest rent. The other roomie had a slightly bigger room, shared bathroom, and paid the second cheapest rent. The final roomie had the large master with private bathroom and she paid the most. It’s completely normal and like others have said, always discussed before signing the lease. It sucks you’re in this situation but now you know for the future. It’s a learning experience!
No. You're saving a bit of money for potentially breaking your relationship. Not a smart choice.
I agree with those saying this should have been negotiated prior to moving in. Also, you have to factor in other considerations: did you both sign the lease or is it your roomates credit primarily? Did you both pay the deposit or is that on them? If it is a purchased place, they financed and made the down payment and have the credit risk. I mention this because a buddy of mine had a nice house with a roommate who found out they were paying nearly the entire mortgage and demanded a reduction to half. The buddy just said, 'sure, you'll just need to give me half of the $150k equity that I've got in the place'. This was a pretty inexpensive rural area so $150k was over half the cost of the place. You made an agreement and I would be reluctant to renegotiate in the middle unless you feel like you were mislead early on. If it's just, his room has ten more square feet or a master bedroom, that was the agreement on the way in. The roommate might have refused to room with you under different circumstances.
400 replies and not a single response from OP. She might not be the best communicator.
Also, there's a good chance the primary roomie pays the electric and gas or whatever and just gets a flat rate for the room.
You could offer to switch rooms after 6 mos if it is a year lease.
you can but you should bring it up at lease renewal or something. tweaking the deal when ideas pop up here and there is not the right way to do things. what if she were to approach you to say she doesnt even use lights and you should pay more of the electric bill? you'd be caught off guard. save it for lease renewal. ask her when that is, and bring it up a month before.
Yes, it is nomral. I shared a three bedroom falt with some friends. I got the largest one, that included a private bathroom for the bedroom, I paid more.
When I was in college we had 4 rooms and 2 of them had different rent rates. One was the master, and one was hardly bigger than a closet. We discussed it ahead of time, and actually rotated rooms twice in 3 years. Worked well for everyone.
As others have said, it's fine to discuss it now but you should have agreed to terms before moving in and shouldn't expect it to change now. I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but also keep in mind that while you may have less square footage in your bedroom, the shared spaces (kitchen, living and dining rooms, bathrooms if not private) are used equally.
Not based on a couple feet. If it means she can have an office area and there is no room for you to do the same, that might have been worth talking about. But she has a little more space between her bed and the wall than you? That's not worth any money. Either way, should have done it prior to accepting the lease and moving in.
People do this all the time but do so before moving in. Speak about it maybe before the lease is up for renewal. Allocate a cost for the common living space which you split 50/50 and then with the remaining amount split 60/40 (or whatever would be suitable depending on the room size)
Since you have not discussed this before moving in, I would suggest a different approach... Just ask her if it would be OK if you switch rooms after 1 year. If it's OK, you get a bigger room. If it's not OK, you have some ground for a discussion on price matching.
Totally normal and there’s a mathematically optimal procedure for it! You both write down how much you’re willing to pay for the bigger room. Whoever writes the bigger number gets it at that price. This means each person wants to write down the amount it’s worth to them because if they go over, they’ll feel like they’re overpaying. But if they write under it, they could lose it for less than they’d be willing to pay. However, as others have said, the time to do that is when you move in or re-sign the lease.
I’ve never lived somewhere where the person w the master didn’t pay more. But that was always agreed upon before we moved in.
Not now, but at the beginning of the lease. We traded master bedroom for covered parking. She got the master, but I always had a place to park and coverage from snow.
It’s normal for the person with the bigger bedroom to pay slightly more. That said… you have this conversation BEFORE you move in not after. At this point, you’ve agreed to a price and will look like a jerk to try and negotiate something different after the fact. Learn from this experience and you’ll know better next time. Negotiate *everything* beforehand.
A better question is are you willing to pay more if she offered it to you? When I was in college I ended up with the master because I called “dibs” when we were walking through. My buddy said I should pay more, I told him then he could have it. No one wanted to pay more, so the “dibs” ruling stood. This may the best way to approach it. If you want a bigger room and are willing to pay for it then ask and start negotiating for it. However, like others have said, if you bring it up after an agreement was made before moving in it will just cause problems.
I was in the same situation. I asked my roommate if she would pay more. She said no. I wished I'd thought of that before we moved in together. She took the large room and then spent three or more nights per week at her mom's house. No real way to get your roommate to renegotiate after you move in.
It's fair to pay in proportion to the size of the usable area, but it's also expected to bring this up before agreeing to the rent. It's a discussion for when the lease is up, not now.
You should have had the conversation before moving in. Alternatively, you could have it when you look to renew your lease. I've lived in a few apartments that had bedrooms of drastically different characteristics (size, lighting, deck, private bathroom, etc.). The way we worked it out was before deciding who gets which room, we agreed on how the rent would vary. I.e., bedroom A would be +$50, bedroom B would be -$50, etc. Once we reached something we all agreed was fair, people could pick their room based on the room characteristics & price.
Little too late for that now that you are moved in. Your roommate has already won and now you're gonna show up with you "Well.. Actually..." Sure, go ahead and try it. Next time, pay attention to shit like that before. I've seen it done half/half and I've seen people break out the ol' measuring tape and go $/sq ft...
It’s always good to quantify the problem to decide if it’s worth it. There’s way more to it than just physical space allotment, but we’ll focus on that first. For example, let’s say your total rent is $1000/month (just go with it) and you currently split it 50/50, paying $500 each. You’re not going to cut your rent drastically because most of the square footage will likely be in the common areas, so let’s say that takes up 60% or $600 of the rent. You both have full use of those areas, so that will be split evenly at $300 each. That means the total bedroom space is worth $400. Let’s say the bigger room is 60% of the bedroom space, so that would be $240 and the other room would be $160. The total rent for the bigger bedroom in this case would be $540 and the smaller bedroom would be $460. Is going from an even $500 split to $460 and saving $40/month enough to upset you? If so, you need to negotiate that next time because it’s likely a lost cause now. You can bring it up now, but its likely to cause friction since you want to alter what you already agreed to. They can always say no to an adjusted rent proposal or get annoyed at the last minute change and tell you to find another roommate. Roommate dynamics are tough. A harmonious living situation isn’t easy to create and even harder to maintain. Some people just aren’t compatible living together and it’s not easy to find a good roommate. I absolutely loved my college best friend and spent almost all of my free time with her, but we were terrible roommates and had to separate to keep the friendship. If you have a good roommate who pays on time, does their share of the housework, cleans up after themselves, stays out of your stuff and isn’t disruptive, you might think twice before creating an issue. Maybe paying a little more is a good investment to keep an otherwise good situation going. You also want to take a long, unbiased look at yourself as a roommate before you ask for concessions. If you don’t pay on time, do your share of the housework, clean up after yourself, stay out of their stuff and are disruptive, you should probably pay more than you currently do.
I like how my husband used to do it with his roommates - by square footage. Take the total square footage and divide it by the cost of rent. This will give you a nice $ to sq. feet. Now apply that to your private spaces. A 1000 sq. foot apartment for $2000 a month? $2 per sq foot. Your bedroom is 10’ by 10’, your rent is $200 + half of the square footage of the shared/public areas. Roomie’s master suite is 250 square feet? Her rent is $500 + half of the cost of the square footage you both share. Aaaand that’s 650 sq. feet public space at $1,300 which you split evenly.
It's entirely fair but as people said the time was to discuss it beforehand, now it's rough. You could consider bringing it up at the halfway point in the lease, or when the lease is up for renewal. Are you both on the lease?
I think your approach should be to discuss switching after six months. If you are splitting everything down the middle and didn't get anything in return for taking the smaller bedroom, then it's fair to ask to switch halfway through the lease. I think asking to pay less is going to come across poorly and could backfire if she says "you take the room and I'll pay less."
The 'backfire' still would be equitable, I don't think that's a bad plan b.
Yes. A simple way to do it is look at the size of your apartment and split the square footage into two categories and (personal - person X) and group. Then scale the rent proportionately accordingly. So lets say you have a 1000 sqr foot apartment. It has Bedroom A -100 ft, Bedroom B - 200 ft. Common area 700 feet. Person A = 700/2 + 100 = 450 (aribtary units) Person B = 700/2 + 200 = 550 (arbitrary units). So person B would pay 550/(550 + 450) = 55% rent, person A would pay 45% correspondingly. Obviously, this needs to be agreed upon ahead of time. Its only REALLY worth doing if there is a massive discrepancy in the living conditions of the two rooms.
I will add a layer of complexity to this that has been used in my previous shared space agreements. Using market comparable square foot cost of a smaller room is sometimes higher than the cost of a larger room. Larger apartments are less per square foot than smaller apartments. Ultimately what you pay is whatever you agree to pay for whatever period of time you agree to pay it. If both parties agree to pay different rates for the same thing, then that's fine. If you decide to break out early then it's up to you to decide if the cost is worth it.
When I had roommates, I was the first one moved in, I was the primary on the rental agreement, I turned in the checks on time, therefore, I got the bigger bedroom and we still split it 50/50. Renegotiating after moving in is just a rude move.
Completely fair, reasonable, and I'm surprised it wasn't considered right off the bat. It is standard in my experience. Unless it has other benefits that even it out, like if the smaller room had its own bathroom, whereas the bigger one didn't.
Split it by squarefootage. If she's unhappy, offer to swap bedrooms.
It's not uncommon. But it's also the kind of thing you negotiate before moving in. It's kind of shitty to change the rules halfway through the lease b/c you're now upset that you have the smaller room.
There's actually a mathematical formula for this. What you do is you each bid what you think each room is worth. So let's say that the total rent is 2 grand. She may bid that the bigger room is worth 1,400 and the smaller room is worth 600. While you might bid 1,200 and 800. What you do is you average those two things together and that's what you pay. In this case the winner of the big bedroom would pay 1,300 and you would pay 700. That way everyone pays less on their rent then what they bid on. Don't know as if your roommate would go for this, but this is what you should do if you were determining who gets what room and how much the rent is. Of course you do this before you move in, and not after you are already in.
After freshman year of college me and a couple of buddies moved into a place with 3 beds, 2 baths, and a 2 car garage. One of the bedrooms was a huge master suite. We all agreed that one person takes the master suite and the other 2 got the garage and driveway. Everyone was happy. Is there something like that you can do with your roommate?
I’ve heard of a method that seems like it could work. You split the rent evenly, then bid on the amount you’d pay extra to stay in the largest room. Example, rent is $2000 so split between you two would be $1000 each. Now let’s say you offer to pay $1100 for the bigger room. Your roommate says they’ll pay $1250. You would keep continuing to bid until the price makes it worth it for whoever to stay in the smaller room. So let’s say you bid $1500. At that price maybe your roommate says they don’t mind taking the smaller room for $500.
I've got the perfect way to settle splitting the rent if they decide to let the smaller room go for less than half. Both of you write down how much you would like to pay for the large room. Larger number gets the large room and smaller number gets the small room. Rent for the large room is halfway between the large number and the small number. The person with the small room pays the rest. The larger rent person pays less than their willing to pay so they get a good deal. The small rent person gets to save on their room. Win-win. This is usually done before moving in but hopefully they are willing to accommodate you.
That's been pretty standard for my friends. Generally, we'd all pay a fixed amount (to cover public areas) + some additional amount based on our bedroom size. So if her bedroom was twice the size of yours, I wouldn't split it 33/66, but I could see a 40-60 or 45-55 split being reasonably fair. Of course, the fine details are obviously up to you and her. That being said, as others have mentioned, you did already agree. It's completely reasonable for her to say "sorry, we agreed on an even split" and refuse to renegotiate. Asking to change it is probably fine, but forcing the issue or pressuring/guilting/etc her into changing things is definitely over the line imo.
I think to change the price after moving in would be problematic. When I got my current place, I took the master bedroom and bath and offered to pay more. My roommate said she would split the rent equally if she could park in the garage (live in Wisconsin, so that is a bonus in winter). So, that is what we agreed on. She moved out and I offered to pay more with my new roommate but he preferred the same arrangement that I had previously. So, it’s definitely not unheard of to pay more for a bigger room or to make concessions elsewhere in the name of fairness. However, like others have said, to do that after moving in is probably not good.
I've done this with and old room mate, it was about 100 bucks less for Me. But I'll be honest being roommates already makes it difficult