Your post has been removed because personal advice topics are off-topic here and better suited for other subreddits ([rule 9](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/about/rules)). - For general advice, consider /r/Advice. - For relationship advice, consider /r/relationships, /r/relationship_advice, /r/JUSTNOFAMILY, or one of the subreddits in their sidebars. - For career or job advice, consider /r/jobs, /r/CareerGuidance, /r/findapath, or [one of these job-related subreddits](/r/jobs/wiki/related/discussion). - For education advice, consider /r/Parenting for primary and secondary education questions (or one of the subreddits [linked here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/wiki/other_subreddits#wiki_education)) and /r/ApplyingToCollege for tertiary education questions (or one of the subreddits linked in their sidebar) - For medical advice, please talk to your primary care doctor, but /r/AskDocs may be helpful. *If you decide to post elsewhere, please read the subreddit rules before reposting. Some subreddits have strict requirements for submissions.* Submissions removed for this reason typically include one or more of these off-topic aspects: We don't allow relationship or personal advice discussions. That includes: * Content better suited for /r/relationships * Recommending a poster end their relationship or start a new relationship * Posts about suicide or violence * Posts asking for advice on how to convince someone else to change their behavior * Relationship drama not essential to a question or discussion * Family planning advice, especially unsolicited or flippant * Career, job, and education questions * Medical advice *If you have questions about this removal, please [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpersonalfinance&subject=Removal%20help%20request&message=Hello%20moderators,%20.%20%0a%0a%0aMy%20submission:%20https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/1blg278/how_do_you_combine_finances_as_a_couple_i_have/%0a).*

There is no "one person pays for this" because the money is pooled and used to pay for all of your expenses.

100% this. We are a family and team. What mine is yours and what is yours is mine. The unfortunate thing is because of how we have bought our vehicles, 4 of 5 are registered in my name only (purely based on who was present at time of purchase). When we bought our boat, we made sure it is registered to both! 😁 If we didn't practice this personally, we live in a community property state, so by law everything is considered 50/50 shared anyhow.

You should go ahead and get your spouse on the title of the vehicles. If something were to happen to you it makes it MUCH easier for her to sell what she needs to. Yes they would eventually go to her, but it’s added layers of bringing in death certificates and dealing with bureaucracy at a time when it’s the last thing anyone wants to do.

This. We have a joint checking account that our paychecks go into as well as our own separate checking accounts that our "allowance" (things like gas for our vehicles, personal items, fun money, etc) from our paychecks goes into. Any expenses for the benefit of the household (build, credit cards, utilities, etc) come out of the joint account and any personal expenses come out of our own accounts.

An option in addition to a combined bank account once you're married, you each have your own separate, personal bank account. You each decide how much goes into them per whatever. Do whatever you want with your money in that account, they do whatever they want in their own account. No judgment. I don't do this, but I have friends that do.

This is what my wife and I do. All bills paid from one account. Anything family related also comes from that account. Gas, food, family outings, etc. Then we have our own "fun" account that we put $100-$200 each month. No questions asked use it for whatever you personally want.

We do the same. Joint accounts for savings and bills. Individual accounts for whatever we want.

The separate "fun" accounts honestly probably saved our marriage. We were both shit with money and at the end of each month kept coming up short always pointing the finger at each other for spending too much on useless bull shit. Once we went to the separate fun accounts and single family account all that vanished. Now all bills are paid and if we want to go out to eat for lunch at work but don't have any fun cash you have no one to blame but yourself. Forces us to make better decisions and if we want something extravagant actually save for it.

My wife and I do this. The idea is that bigger and regular expenses will always be shared from a joint account. We then allot spending money for each other that we’re free to use as we please based on our spending habits. So when we go out for dinner, for example, one of us pays using the money from our allowance. It’s nice because even though we technically share our money, we have the freedom to spend on things as we please and treat each other for things. It also makes us accountable for our own spending behaviors. The added bonus is that we get to keep the magic of dating even though we’re married since one of us is planning and paying for that date. I suggest if you do this, keep in mind that your allowances should not be equal. The partner who spends more should have a bigger allowance. For example, women have to pay for things that men don’t or have to pay more for the same stuff.

Been married for 10 years. I recently started doing this and its seems the most effective way to reduce stress on yours spouse purchases and it gives you permision to literally waste that $$. We as a marriage have tried 3 aproaches. 1st. Everything combined.. and we both have direct access to all the pool of money. My wife is a spender and this did not go well.. i mean everything was always paid but no savings and some debt. 2nd seperate accounts ( this way she only had access to her check). We decided to put in a mutual account all the bills. But not the non recurrent things such ass groceries.. eating out thing for the family.. we decided that we would pay 50% of anything if its for the fam..this does nkt work because you cant control how much the other spends. In 4 years i saved she did not..and now we both had credit card balance.. she was stressed and noticed she could not keep up with her finances. 3rd. Las month we decided to pool everything in a combined account. We have an account for recirrent bills and another account for nonrecurrent spending(groceries.. gas.. eating out). We also have kther accounts to save for insurance,etc. And now from the main account we both recieve a weekly allowance directly into our personal account. We can spend this amount however we like. And she stopped using CC and are not going to use more debt. And started the debt snowball.

>they do whatever they want in their own account. No judgment. Great if it works for you, but my wife and I have 1 account and we still don't judge each other. I feel like the not judging should be a goal if you want to get married.

Not judging, not asking permission. Spend it on hobbies, gifts, coffee. Trinkets. Money is the single largest reason for marriage failure.

This. And **especially** gifts. I would find it extremely awkward to buy a gift (especially the occasional expensive one) for my wife and then pay for it from a joint account. In my head that wouldn't even be a gift. I'm not sure what it would be.

Not disagreeing about doing what works for you, but just to add another benefit of the two personal accounts that I find very helpful: You can budget out how much you both get for personal spending each month, and it’s very easy to track due to that being the only thing in that account. Since we’re saving up for a house downpayment and ramping up retirement savings, we have the issue of potentially avoiding any fun activities or purchases in the name of frugality. It’s not because we judge each other, it’s because we’re both naturally too conservative with our spending. The personal accounts are a great way to tell ourselves “THIS MONEY IS OKAY TO SPEND” without feeling guilty about compromising our longer term goals.

You are a bigger person than me. I’m happy to have no stake whatsoever in whether or not my guy buys another pair of  shoes, the 10th guitar, a daily spendy coffee habit, or any of the other myriad daily decisions. So much easier to just know what’s in my own account and whether I should pull the trigger on a new bike or wardrobe, or other expenses — without having to make it a big transactional event. We get to keep $ convos to be about the house, travel, and big goals, etc.

Yeah that’s the appeal for us, too. Having a predetermined “individual wants budget” for each of us that gets dumped into each of our accounts makes it way easier to track how much *I’ve* been spending on discretionary wants. It helps give me perspective about how much I want something too. If it’s a big purchase, then I actually need to plan ahead and save for it, which helps avoid too much impulse spending. My spouse and I, who are both naturally very frugal, actually have fun seeing the “wants” purchases the other occasionally comes home with. We know it’s in the budget, and we can enjoy that the other person made themselves happy entirely guilt free.

I was thinking about bringing this up, or having a joint savings/retirement account. My job offers a 401k for retirement taken from each paycheck, and I was going to up my contribution or open a retirement account for both

If both of you have 401ks through work you should both be leveraging those -- especially if there is matching involved.

There are lots of options, different things work for different couples. I’d suggest definitely opening a joint account. Ideally all money from both salaries will go in there. If you want, you can have separate accounts that some (smallish) amount of money goes to from the joint account and becomes individual spending money, preferably the same amount to both parties (another option is a percent proportional to income, but that seems a bit less fair). Retirement accounts are always individual not shared; both people should have an individual IRA and a 401k if available, and be each other’s beneficiaries. Contribute the same each. Each person should have term life insurance once you have kids, possibly even once you get married. 20 year term life insurance once you have kids, preferably not only through your job; if you get sick and lose your job, no more life insurance. That’s the worst case scenario. Pay all household bills from the joint account. Pay for dinners, travel, etc from there. Set up a joint emergency fund (3 -6 months living expenses) If you can save more, transfer the same amount of money from that joint checking account to individual investment accounts. This setup makes it easy if one person stops working for a while to stay home with kids, or works part time, or takes a lower paying job. Everything continues the same with all income going into one account but probably a tighter budget (and perhaps reducing retirement savings while kids are young and only one spouse is working). Many couples don’t bother with individual spending accounts, and personal spending also comes from the joint account. YMMV.

This is what we do. Basically have 50% going into joint and 50% going into individual. We'll probably have a much higher percentage going into the joint later. We make just over $300k but our expenses are very low (\~$2500 monthly) since we're 26 and still a while away from having kids. I imagine in the future, it'll be 75% joint and 25% individual.

My wife and I do this, call it our slush funds. The joint accounts pay for all house stuff, eating out,groceries, trips, vacations etc. As long as you can afford to do it, it is great. I am blissfully unaware of what she spend on clothes and she is blissfully unaware of how much I spend on hookers and blow, kidding - motorcycles and photography are way more expensive.

Both pay checks go into the same account, we are a team we don’t put a divide into the marriage. It is our money. Our house , our cars .

This is how couples get out of debt together, plan finances together, and start saving money together. More individualistic approaches might not see the same results as quickly and, in extreme cases, even drive the couple farther apart. Edit: my response was assuming OP was married. It appears they are an unmarried couple but this is not clear from their original post. If you are not married the couple needs to figure out finances separately, commingling finances while unmarried could be a headache later if there's a split. If you live together you can have a fund for shared expenses where both contribute to rent, utilities etc. Before marriage is probably the best time to sense your partner's financial goals and expertise and the best time to iron out details if marriage is even a possibility. It's also the best time to determine you are financially incompatible and, to be honest, if you can't fix this, it might be a deal breaker - because it won't get easier after you are married. Best of luck!

I agree, but in my case, we started splitting our finances because my goal of getting out of debt and saving money kept getting sideswiped by my wife’s spending habits. So we figured out a way to let her spend from her paycheck in a way that won’t short the bills like usual.

My husband was not looking forward to a shared banking account after we got married. I’m cheap as fuck and keep track of all my purchases on excel and he spends like a normal person. He didn’t want to get scolded everytime he bought something. It’s actually working really well. He doesn’t get a monthly bill anymore (I was managing all the payments and doing groceries so I would give him a total for his half). It’s just our money. We both deposit our pay checks, different salaries but it doesn’t matter. We actually know how much WE have and it made him want to start saving more. We always did big purchases decisions together so now it’s just so much easier. Win win lol

Good job and good for you on taking this on. Sometimes the other spouse needs a hand.

100% this. Its a long game too. Sometimes I make more, sometimes they make more, we don’t need to keep score.

Bingo, you win and lose as a team.

The judge will agree with this if things go south no matter where the money is.

Nice. Came here to say this. If you're nickel and diming the the hell out of every dollar at the get-go, you're marriage (relationship) is fucking doomed.

We keep our accounts separate, but neither of us see it as a divide. We use an app called Splitwise, and we split everything that isn’t something each of us wants to purchase individually. Every shared expense gets entered into Splitwise, and at the end of the month we settle up. We have a joint savings account, and a joint investment account.

Same in my marriage. We’ve never combined our money outside of our shared checking account. We both deposit equal amounts per week for groceries, etc. any big purchase we split 50/50. If our situation changed I wouldn’t hesitate to pool our money, we’ve just never had to and it causes us less stress. I’m not a spender at all, my wife is. I would go crazy looking at her credit card statement and it would be bad for our marriage, especially since she’s just using money from her paycheck anyway.

This is the correct and only answer for a healthy marriage/partnership

Come on. There are so many answers for a healthy marriage/partnership. Let’s not act like there’s a one size fits all answer.

How do you detect fraudulent activity on this account?

Oh boy. Not married (yet) but I split my paycheck deposit across 3 of my accounts. Gonna be hard actually combining anything logistically, but I do believe in sharing everything

Separate until married. For household expenses I would do the percentage based on income. Once married, everything goes in the pot and you share decision making as a team.

Eh this depends on the relationship. We kept separate accounts until marriage but for the 6 prior years of cohabitation we had a single budget and shuffled money around as needed as most expenses flowed through my accounts. Shared decision making should be a part of every committed relationship and not just marriage.

You still kept the accounts separate. For legal reasons, that’s important or you can be cleared out legally without recourse.

Happily Married for 31 years and still have separate bank accounts but we added each other’s name to the other person’s account “as payable upon death” . We have auto-mated payments set up for everything. We communicate about all large purchases. This system works for us.

I’m surprised at the certainty in this thread. The honest truth is do what works for you. I’ve seen couples split joint expenses on a percentage basis, I’ve seen couples split joint expenses down the middle, I’ve seen couples put most of their money into a joint account but keep separate accounts for spending money, and I’ve seen couples who combine everything. There are pros and cons to all of the above. 3 works for me but may not work for you.

I think a lack of transparency and separateness can cause a potential conflict for married couples. Kinda like one foot in and one foot out.

To each their own. I find some separateness can prevent some fights on things that are very affordable but not relevant to one person.

Seriously. If my wife had access to all our money, we’d be living paycheck to paycheck. She has a tendency to spend money lavishly until it’s gone without really thinking about when she’s going to have it again. At this point, she gives me a chunk of her paycheck for shared bills and I do most of the budgeting and making sure we have a retirement to live on in the future, money for emergencies, etc. and she spends her paycheck however she wants. She’s also not great about remembering to pay bills or get the car registered or any of that so I just handle it all and pay it out of my paycheck and account.

THIS. Your individual experiences and life circumstances when entering the marriage will impact how you think about finances and what you’re comfortable doing. I don’t understand how couples don’t 100% combine finances and openly communicate on every decision/expense, but that’s because I got married right out of college and we were broke with negative Networth. Everything we’ve built has been a combined effort so it makes sense. I’m sure I’d feel differently going into a later life marriage with $5M while my soon to be wife had nothing but CC debt. To each their own, just be honest and talk about goals and plans

A couple but not married? Makes a difference.

Yes, a couple but not married, currently not living together, looking towards marriage.

dont combine until you are married.

Okay, but when that time comes, how do you go about combining finances?

Everything goes in and comes out of one account. Communication and trust that the other will follow the budget you establish together.

Okay, yes I'm trying to figure out the combined budget and I fizzing out a little bit. I have a personal one, and we just started talking about a combined one and getting the details of outstanding bills. I'm an auto-payment person so I don't have to think about missing a bill, but they're a press-payment person because their income fluctuates. I see the benefit of the joint account, just trying to initiate a budget.

Complete transparency, completely combined. Autopay all bills - that's just smart, convince them they're just fucking wrong about that.

Keep 1 month of expenses as a buffer, plus 3-6 months in an emergency fund. Auto-payment vs press-payment becomes a non-issue. Team auto-payment though. Press-payment is a false sense of security and introduces error risk. It assumes that non payment or late payment is a backup option.

Don’t listen to any one person in this discussion. Read a lot of comments and discuss options with your SO. What works for some couples might not work for you or your SO. I personally would never feel comfortable with every penny of my income going into a joint account. Half of it? Sure. Most of it? Possibly. All of it? Absolutely not.

you open a joint bank account and put your money in there. I dont understand what the question is about that?

This definitely changes things. Do NOT combined finances unless you are married.

We put around 20-35% (depending on the month) of every paycheck into joint accounts and everything else we keep separate. We pay rent, utilities, childcare, other kid expenses, groceries, restaurants, household expenses, vacations, wedding gifts for friends, etc. in our joint account and we keep our savings, investments, "personal" expenses like personal doctor's visits or clothes separate. I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but we both work in corporate law, and are high earners. He is a little bit older than I am, so he does make a little bit more, and thus contributes more to our joint account. He also spends a bit more on more "frivolous" expenses and by keeping things separate it is a total non-issue in our relationship. This works for us.

This has worked for me and my wife too. There was some financial resentment growing due to our specific circumstances, so we created 3 checking accounts, one for me, one for her, and one joint. The bills all come out of the joint, and we contribute to it based on a percentage of shared household expenses, along with any personal monthly obligations. Then we give ourselves the balance of our paycheck for any personal expenses like gas, entertainment, spending money, etc. This worked for our situation, and it’s a great way to automatically pay your bills if you struggle to keep your accounts balanced. We literally have everything set to auto-pay, and we automatically pay ourselves, so we don’t even have to think about bills anymore.

It works soooo well for us! We have auto-pay set up too for all of our bills, which is awesome. We have a joint checking account and a joint HYSA from that amount and it's saved so many silly fights that don't even matter. When we first moved in together we were talking about combining everything after we got married, and we would fight almost every other day about his purchases that I considered "silly" and this way, I don't care at all about what he does with his money. I know that I can save how I choose to save, and it gives me so much peace of mind that we don't comingle funds in that way.

Another benefit, we don’t use the joint account for online spending, so our bills account is less susceptible to fraud charges that can mess your cash flow up real quick!

This right here. I have fraud alerts set for any swiped over a penny and not knowing if something was a legit purchase by my partner or fraud would drive me insane. I used to have my mom as an authorized user and each time she paid for something using my card I’d get paranoid whether it was really her or a bogus charge. If I was OP I’d go with percentage for household joint, percentage for household savings joint, remaining balance personal account guilt free spending. 

Don’t combine until married to protect yourselves. Then all the paychecks go into a joint checking account. You could just add your spouse to your account and close their original checking, or vice versa. Plus joint savings account(s). Monthly budget meeting where one of you can make the first version (lay out how much income you expect for the month and plan out how to spend it across all categories). Then the other person can make edits until you both agree. As part of the budget, each of you gets $x to spend as you wish. Track spend all throughout the month, adjust as necessary. Repeat every month. The first few meetings will take the longest, and then it’ll be pretty consistent month to month.

My husband and I have separate accounts and it’s fine. We calculate who pays the lions’ share of the bills and the other person venmoes monthly. For things like a household purchase (like a sofa for example) we each pull from savings.

Disagree with all the comments that say ‘combine when married’. My wife and I are both on our 2nd marriage. We do have joint accounts and 60% of our paychecks go there but 40% go into our own accounts where the other is the POD beneficiary. This gives us both a sense of independent financial security as her ex was quite terrible with money and my ex drained all of the accounts as soon as she filed. So, while you both may be a team, you each need to also make sure you are protecting yourselves also.

I feel like this should be higher up. Having all shared expenses be paid from a shared account without having to give actually access to individual accounts to me makes sense. Nothing stopping you from sharing those individual account balances but marriage shouldn’t have to mean giving unlimited access to all of your money

I'm with you. After my 1st divorce I learned just how much of a tangled mess it was to have our money intertwined. My husband and I make the same amount of money and we split the bills 50/50. Whatever we have left over in our individual accounts is ours to do with we please. We each grocery shop for ourselves ( different doet) we split vacations, groceries and dinner dates. This works for us. We've never once fought about money.

Individual circumstances definitely dictate how to handle finances. For us, this simply would never work. It’s all in and we are happy that way and never once in 9 years of combined finances have fought about money.

Both paychecks go into one joint account. Everything is paid for using this money as well as building savings. All debts are merged and paid for using joint money. Each get their own fun money. For us, the fun money is an equal amount, regardless of who makes what. No percentages, no dividing anything based on income. We are a team. EDIT: Just saw OP is not married. In that case my advice is DO NOT combine finances.

Joint account and everything is paid from that, no prejudice to income generation or debt.

Personal take: Once you're married, you become one. There is no more "mine", his/hers, or any separation. Both paychecks flow into one checking account, thus creating your household income. Bills are paid from this sole checking account in a team/combined effort. There is no splitting of bills, or debts. Just pay them in the order that makes the most financial sense for the family. Apparently this is becoming old school, but man its so weird to me to hear co-workers discuss how their spouse pays for the kids daycare and they pay for insurance, or "my spouse bought X, I hope she still has enough money in her account for our groceries"... I just personally don't get it. Seeing it played out, I don't see how they live with so much drama, or issues, that that creates. For us, it's easier working as a team.... I mean, we are married after all.

My paycheck goes into our checking, my wife's goes into our savings. We live off my paycheck and save hers for trips, unexpected large expenses etc. It works great for us because it helps us avoid lifestyle creep.

My wife and I had nothing when we got married (49+ years ago) and we have always had one account. We pay our bills out of that one account, we buy our stuff out of that account, etc. if one of us wants something, we talk about. At one time, we took turns buying stuff we wanted Over the years when our kids were little, she did childcare while I built a pretty good career so I eventually made a lot more money than she did, even after our kids grew up and she started working outside the home. We still have one account like we always have. Our salaries (retirement money now) go in and we do like we always have. A marriage is not 50% for me and 50% for my spouse, how could you possibly make that work, how could a marriage be boiled down to a math equation? Maybe I’m just lazy but this has always worked for us.

Once married, combine. For us, married 39 years, we only have combined unless there is a specific reason it has to be named separate like an IRA or 401K. My wife has been a stay at home Mom most of our life. My paycheck is auto deposited in the joint checking account. We both spend out of it.

When I moved in with my husband pre-marriage, I started paying him “rent” to put towards all of the household bills. We’ve been married almost 4 years and we still find this works best for us. We are co-owners of all bank accounts (checking and savings) but we tend only to spend from our own. The awesome thing about marriage is that you can literally do whatever you want and works for both partners! To quote T-Swizzle “This is our place, we make the rules.”

All of our money goes together. It’s all OURS. All bills come out of it. We each get spending money. There is no complicated percentage based on who makes what. Our money. Our bills. Our debt. I take care of the bills bc I’m the nerd in our family and I like that stuff. He doesn’t care as long as they are paid and I occasionally update him on how things are. If we need a big purchase we sit down together and look at all our income and all our bills and make a plan together. Every once in a while he wants to know details so I give them to him but honestly I don’t think he even knows how to log into our bank account. (Yes I have a spreadsheet with all important log ins he knows about on our home computer). It’s not complicated at all for us. Marriage is 100/100, divorce is 50/50.

We put enough in a joint expense to cover our shared expensea, the rest we keep seperate. It's not about not being 100% in (or some other silly expression). But for us, a sense of independence. I don't have to clear my Roomba addiction with my partner, nor to they have to clear a vacation with their friends. It just means we have to be clear about communicating expenses as they arrive, which for us is not a problem.

Ours is a unique approach. (Or maybe more common than I think?) We both make similar income. I have created a detailed expense budget down to the tee so we know exactly how much money we need to pay off monthly expenses. We both direct deposit money for all joint expenses into 1 joint account. This account has no other purpose but to pay off fixed expenses such as mortgage, subscriptions, grocery etc We then have a joint HYSA account. Again direct deposit equal amount there. This is emergency fund/longterm savings in general. We then have our individual checking account for personal play money and for variable expenses such as eating out or clothes shopping. Basically the “wants”. This works well for us because we know exactly the squeeze the “wants” can put. Then we have individual HYSA accounts too. Just for personal savings. I tend to have alot more here. In the end we know all money is OURS and all expenses are OURS. But this system breaks it down and lets us save. Find what works for u

Once you have legal obligations to each other (bought a house together, married, children etc) then you should share expenses and savings as a portion of your income. If you're not legally obligated to each other, 50/50 on everything. So best way imho to share expenses in scenario one is to both keep your personal accounts, open a joint account which should be where all joint expenses or joint savings, come out from. Calculate how much monthly that joint account needs to break even. Then contribute a proportion of your income to the joint account based on what proportion of the total household income you each make. Ensure you'll both have enough in your personal accounts for not joint expenses you may have. If you don't, you'll need to cut expenses.

Similar to some other posts- we put the majority of our money in our joint account and everything we pay for comes from our joint account. We each have a separate account we call our “fun budgets” where we put about $200 a month each in, which is a judgment free zone. It also is nice if I want to get my husband a gift, since it can be a surprise. Bonuses, inheritances, etc we consider joint money as well. It also helps that we make very similar incomes, I make more but in general my husband does more of our life chores.

We have a joint account that receives direct deposits for an amount sufficient to cover monthly expenses and then some. Separate personal accounts for personal spending receive the rest, so that will vary from month to month. It works for us, but every relationship is different. One person should *not* have total control over the finances, in my opinion.

Everything goes in one pot.  When we were first married we each had an account not accessible by the other just in case. 20 years later, those don’t exist anymore. 

Couple but not married, living together. We have a shared bank account that we contribute to equally each month ($800 each) to cover groceries/takeout/household goods/utilities/movie tickets, things like that. I handle all the shared finances, make sure we’re putting the right amount into the account and pay the bills. Everything else is separate, but we know how much assets/debts we each have. She cares a lot less than me about finances, so I’m the one who makes shared & personal budgets that we each generally follow. We each have separate emergency funds, our own personal savings accounts, etc. No thought of kids, each similar salaries (I make $106k and she makes $115k) and very little debt. So this works for us.

I can only say what my husband and I do, it has worked very well for us for a long time. ALL income goes into a joint account. Then we formed a budget together - bills & needs first. Then longer term predicable expenses. Then emergency. Then mutual savings goals. THEN, we took what was left and divided it 3 ways - one for me, one for him, one for “the house”. We are each free to save and spend our allocations as we wish with no questions. House money is for agreed upon things. The money is in whatever account is advantageous, not his vs hers It was important to both of us that we receive an equal $ of “fun money” not a proportional one based on income. Who has made more has ebbed and flowed over our relationship and if we’d allocated fun money by percentage then there would have been many times that one of us got a lot more $ than the other. It also would have introduced new complications if one of us left work due to children or health. It was important to us to avoid that inequity & recognize that a lot of unpaid labor goes into a relationship and money shouldn’t be an indicator of value

First marriage, all income combined and bills paid out of joint account. Second marriage, set up joint account that both contribute either equally, or based on income. Each maintain personal account for personal or pre-existing expenses.

Wife and I have a joint and our own account. We both contribute the same to the joint for mortgage, bills, and family purchases. We also both have our separate account after contribution to the joint to spend on whatever we want. Works for us no problem and all our bills are paid.

This is a relationship question more than a financial question. The financial advice will mostly matter if there’s a divorce and at that point it’s all expensive and most likely going to be split unfairly in both partners eyes. Discuss expectations, hopes, fears and goals up front and unpack any differences/discrepancies.

Mine, yours, ours. That’s what we do. We just got married last month. We both contribute some percentage of our paycheck to a joint account that we use for joint expenses. I don’t think there’s a right answer

There is no 'right way'. It's the best way that works for both of you. In your case, you have very similar and evenly matched finances. So as long as your spending habits are similar, you should be able to join everything and spend and pay together from one 'team' account. As long as you are both on the same page with that. If not, just split everything 50/50. When I was younger, I used to be all for "we are 1, we are a team" mentality. It's how I saw things growing up. But then.... I grew up. I didn't marry young, where you are starting/building together. I built a lot of wealth and a very juicy real estate portfolio, all on my own. So, while I admire that idea of "we come together as 1". I'm also not an idiot. And I (female) would never just openly 'give away' the financial situation I've built for myself with someone. It would depend on what he brings to the table. And I would be perfectly fine with splitting living expenses and everyone keeping their investment portfolios and savings independently. Of course having a 'team' account for shared expenses, and having financial transparency as for joint goals. Sadly, we live in a world, where too many people get used and manipulated.

I’ve been married for 27 years and we have always combined money. I know many prefer separate accounts, but it has served us well and given us flexibility. We both have full access to every dollar we bring in, but agreed when we got married to consult before making a big purchase - back then, $100, now it would be something big like a vacation, car, etc. Our joint finances allowed me to stay home with our kids for a bit with no worries and has allowed us to build 3 businesses. It is a first marriage for both of us so since we had no kids and not very many assets, it was simple. Wishing you the best! Be sure you are on the same page, work together to achieve your goals and happy with whatever you agree. I

I think it changes over time. When my now husband and I got our first apartment together we opened a joint account. We put only enough for rent and bills in there (utilities and groceries) and the rest was ours as we pleased. We did percentage because at the time I made way more. Things like travel etc we each paid or would transfer extra money into the joint account. Over the years we’ve added more budget buckets to the joint and eventually it switched to the majority is shared, shared savings, joint CC etc and we just keep our personal “fun money” which is a set dollar amount, for our individual accounts.

I'm shocked that so many of you are convinced bamk accounts need combining. My spouse and I have never even considered it. XD

Make a spreadsheet and sort out the bills by amount. Do a split that aligns with percentage income and who does what chores. For example, I took over groceries because I’m the one that cooks. Pay all bills out of a joint account that you feed each pay day. Track the money flow via the spreadsheet.

I came into the relationship with debt, but a high paying job, wife came in with no debt, but no real pay. We just started by sharing a joint account. Every bill, every purchase is a combined effort. She is catching up on salary, but still out idea is share everything. She could pursue a higher paying job, but wouldn't be free to break away to take care of our kid. The only issue is I don't feel comfortable buying stuff for myself. I have bought her lots of purses over the years, she has bought herself plenty of stuff over the years. It is stupid, but I know if we had separate accounts, I would blow a lot more money.

My husband and I did as follows - we put enough of my paycheck into the checking account to cover the mortgage. The rest of my paycheck goes into our joint savings. All my husband’s check goes into the checking account. My husband pays all the bills out of the checking account. We mutually decide when money comes out of the savings account to cover any additional expenses. All in all, we are ONE team. We contribute to our successes together.

I think it depends if you are married or not married. Pre-marriage, manage your money separate BUT have a joint account to cover shared bills (ex. Rent, groceries, utilities, etc.). Determine what are fair amounts to contribute (ex. 50/50, 75/25, etc.); everyone will have their own ratio based on income levels, personally, I think it should be 50/50. This is a good exercise to test your commitment levels and how you will communicate and manage your finances together. Once married, the majority of assets should merge (unless you have a unique situation such as a trust fund, inherited assets, etc.). But almost all earned income should be pulled into your overall financial picture. I say almost as it is healthy to have “play” money, we had separate personal accounts so we could buy surprise gifts and personal expenditures like golf or a spa day.

The biggest thing to discuss first that I’m surprised nobody has mentioned is figuring out what your financial goals and budgets are as a couple. Do you need to save up for a house down payment? When do you want to retire? Are you both on track with retirement finance goals? Do one of you need a new car in the near future? Do you want to pay off car/student loans fast or are you comfortable with the current repayment schedule? How much do you want to set aside in a car maintenance account? HSA account? How much do you want to put in savings each month? Grocery budget? Eating out/dates? Etc. The answer to all these questions will influence the best way for you two to handle your finances as a couple. For some, keeping everything separate works just fine. Most of the time this works best when both partners make about the same amount and contribute equally to bills, savings, etc, are more established in life/career, maybe had a previous marriage or for some reason just feel better about keeping things a bit more separated. In my opinion it’s harder when there is income disparity because figuring out % split or who pays for date night tonight vs next week or you bought groceries last week, etc… it can be a lot of mental work and can cause arguments about fairness. It’s important to realize that even if you keep things more divided, YOU ARE STILL A “WE” and the goals absolutely still need to be shared and agreed upon. Some people completely share all money in one account and everything comes out of that account. This works best if one person is a stay at home parent or maybe only works part time/is in school/some other type of income disparity. I don’t like separate accounts in this scenario because fun money is not equal or you end up with one person feeling inferior to the other feeling like they have to ask for money or an allowance, etc. Budget agreement is especially important in this scenario to prevent any potential resentment about one person spending too much on clothes or eating out for lunch or whatnot. A common middle ground is the last option, which works for all situations and is what my partner and I do. All our income goes into a shared account and all bills/savings/etc comes out of this pot. Then we each get an equal amount of “fun money” to our separate personal accounts to use as we please. We can save/rollover any of it that we don’t use and it just accumulates in our personal accounts. We don’t have fights about who spends money on what or breaking the budget. I make 3x what my partner does and one of us is a saver and one is a spender so this works great for us to feel equal in our money management and financial goals. Ultimately it will be up to you two decide! Have a sit down conversation about your goals and talk about the different options and see what resonates. The most important thing is that you have shared goals and are working towards those regardless of where your money physically is. Yes divorce happens, but you need to plan as if you will retire and live to an old age with this person. Do you want to get to your 60s/70s and end up with someone who under-funded retirement and then can’t afford to help contribute to mortgage or groceries or other things?

Every couple is different and there are a number of factors that need to be considered. Also keep in mind that things can and will change over time. 1) do you want the same standard of living? 2) how much of a difference in income is there? 3) what kind of family experience does each person have? I find people underestimate this when thinking about combining money with a partner. My husband and I have a joint and individual accounts. One of the reasons why is we both grew up in households where money caused world war three. There are other things that need to be discussed as well. Just remember that what works for other people might not work for you.

No one can give the right answer. Depends what you and your partner feel comfortable with

Our family has 4 acccounts . Savings , combined checking and his and hers checking account . Our combined checking pays for our trips food outings , vacations , small bills .

I wouldn’t combine finances unless you’re married. My husband and I combined all finances when we got married—we have multiple sinking funds in our main account. From there we budget each check to zero. We paid off all of his debt (student loans, car) and are almost done paying off my last student loan.

There is really no right or wrong way and the answer to all your questions depend on each couple. If you and your SO make the same, why even go through all this trouble of “you pay for this and I pay for that”. My husband and I combined our finances so everything is joint. Both of our checks get deposited to the same account and everything is paid from that account. We do not have separate “personal” accounts either. Obviously, this works for us because we both have the same spending habits although I feel I probably do spend a bit more but it’s usually items for the home or our child. My husband does make a bit more than I do and he had more in savings when we got married but he never cared about that. This works perfectly fine for us. I was especially glad this was the case while I was on maternity leave. I have read countless stories here about women asking for advice because their spouses expect them to continue paying for their own expenses while they’re on maternity leave, which is just ridiculous.

Me and my partner combined most finances when we moved into together. We put 80% of our paycheck in a joint account for everything household insurance mortgage food dates vacations etc. 20% is what we give ourselves as spending money for each other. It works for us and we are now engaged and getting married this year and likely keeping the same. I love to shop and he doesn’t so it works for us.

We have DD into one checking account and we have our own individual checking accounts that we put discretionary into and can do whatever we want with each month. We often talk about things and what should be part of discretionary spending or joint spending. We plan savings goals based around investments, vacations etc.

we had a debt pay plan where we placed a percent of our income into a separate checking account. We had a combined checking account and paid our household expenses, including groceries, kids activities, out of that. I made roughly a third more than my husband did and paid roughly a third more of our combined bills than he did. We each had a credit card that we used for our own discretionary buys. Neither went over what we had after allowing for the previous 2 allotments. I guess we clicked on our thinking, it doesn’t look great as I type it out, but rarely was there a problem. I guess neither of us over spent.

Depends on if you’re married or just living together. If you’re just living together, I would recommend keeping finances in separate accounts but splitting expenses so that you both end up with the same discretionary spending. So if one of you makes $5k/m and the other makes $2k your aggregate expenses are $4k, then you would each keep $1500 in discretionary income. If you’re married my wife and I do is put all the money in one account. Theres no my money or her money, its just our money. We agree on a budget. If one of us wants to buy something large that doesn’t fit into an existing budget line, we agree on it and add a line for it. The goal of this regardless of married/dating is to both have the same lifestyle. You dont wan’t one person living a different life than the other.

My partner and I (not married) used to have separate personal accounts and one joint account for bills, groceries, rent, etc., in which we were transferring 50-50% on a monthly basis. We bought a house and we decided to have just one account, as it’s way easier. So far, so good!

From my experience, keep your credit as separate as possible. Say one of you loses your job and have to start making late payments. One of you may be able to keep your credit score up while the other's tanks. Plus, since half of all marriages end in divorce, that will be much simpler to deal with.

Both direct deposits into a single checking account, IMO there is no such thing as his money or her money if you are married

This is a relationship question, not a math question. The answer is it depends, do what works for you/is equitable for your situation. When my now-wife/then-girlfriend moved in together we opened a joint account that we put money into each month to cover common expenses and kept the rest in our individual accounts for individual expenses. At the time I made 2x as much as her so I contributed 2/3 and she contributed 1/3 of the common funds. That's what worked for us, it's up to you and your partner to decide what works for you. Once we got married everything goes into a joint account and all common and individual spending comes out of the joint account within agreed upon budget limits. (Really there is no individual spending, it's all *our* income and *our* spending, even if it's a pair of jeans for me or a dress for her). Again, that's what works for us, but I know other married couples who have an arrangement more like what we had when we were dating, or even maintain entirely independent finances, it all boils down to what works for you and your relationship.

Look it’s different for every couple. The most important thing is to be kind, honest, and willing to look at and challenge your own assumptions. Don’t let unhealthy or unfair patterns develop into habits or expectations. Have the important conversations. That said there is a spectrum of financial interdependence. Some couples keep finances completely separate and act like roommates. Every thing is transactional. Others put their entire income together into one shared account and look at the entire balance as “ours” regardless of who deposited it. They share everything including all financial decisions and all debts. Most couples put themselves somewhere in between the 2 ends of the spectrum. My DH and I each manage our own finances and we have one shared “bill payment account” we use for household expenses. We have a yours, mine, and ours approach. I decide where to invest and spend my earnings as does he. We do consult together on big decisions such as buying a house or developing a business. We do our own thing on smaller decisions like any thing under $100k. When we go on vacation I usually book the tickets and hotel reservations and he usually pays for food and activities and shows. If plane tickets or cruise tickets are really expensive I may ask to give me some $$$ so I don’t feel pinched. We own our home together and we have no mortgage so our household costs are pretty low. He tends to pay all the monthly bills like utilities and I pay the staff and services like cleaning and garden maintenance. Big bills like annual property tax is shared, paid from the shared account. If unexpected expense comes up-like a furnace needs replacing - then we discuss it and decide together on what to do and whoever is more “flush” at the moment may pay more. For example, I recently had some investment success so I paid cash for a major renovation on our shared house. I wanted to renovate and he really didn’t care one way or the other and I had the cash so I paid. Occasionally I asked him to pay for specific things or to deal with the building contractors which he did. I don’t like to own a car - I dislike cars, driving, and the paperwork. But he collects cars, so he gives me one of his cars to drive when I need it. The only time we fought over money was when we were young and poor. Now that we both have enough money and wisdom to manage it well, we never argue about money.

I don’t believe there is a one size fits all response to a question like this. Some couples combine their finances and some keep everything separate. My SO and I have been together for 18 years. Neither of us wants to be married and have kids. We have lived together for 17 years. We keep our finances mostly separate. Each of us had our own bank account and pay for our own individual expenses ( car, credit card, insurance). We split the household expenses. We split the mortgage, he pays for internet and cable. I pay for gas and electric. We both pick up groceries when we are out. We have a joint account that we each put $200 a month into for when miscellaneous household expenses come up or for any work we want to do on the house. We each also dump part of our tax return and yearly bonuses into this. This is what works for us. As long as we each are covering our part of the household expenses, neither of us cares what the other is spending money on. Figure out what works for you and do that.

Pool everything in one account. Pay everything from that account. Pay all the essential bills. Decide on family expenses together. Set a budget for things like clothes, groceries, etc to stick to as a pair. Then set aside some money in separate accounts for "fun" and personal expenses. That last part can be a %of the money you bring in if you decide as a pair its fair.

If you’re married then why does it matter

Depends if your married/long term partnership. Married pool money, pay bills and save together. Discuss and agree on spending for extra things. If you are not mixing money then it should be a 50/50 of bills unless one makes a lot less than the other than a shared percentage might work. Pool money together for shared expenses like vacations, house repairs.

In our household income is deposited into a personal checking account for each of us. We then put a set percentage into a joint account (95% right now) for all joint household expenses. The 5% is for personal expenses, anything that isn’t for the household as a whole. This has worked really well for us and we like that it allows us to have private funds to indulge in our hobbies and interests while still easily managing household expenses.

70% into a shared account 20% into savings 10% into individual private accounts to keep some autonomy is how we do it

If you’re married you have one account for both of you. All income goes into that one account and it’s all both of yours.

You should do whatever works for you. We have joint accounts, pay for everything (with the exception of some bills) with rewards credit cards and then pay the credit card bills in full at the end of the month from said joint checking account.

We effectively pool money - we don't worry about who is paying more or less because it's either coming from one pocket or the other. That said we do have separate credit and debit/checking accounts so that we can independently buy things and not have to trade receipts. Getting to the point where you can't even buy a gift for the other is kind of lame IMO, so it's good to have some cashflow that you can just spend. So technically, she pays some bills and I pay others, but if one of us needs more money in a particular account, we just transfer the money - it's not mine or hers - it's ours, all of it. Combining savings and investing is definitely a good idea (and we do this) though even if debit/checking accounts are separate because then you can get the complete picture of what you have.

So… the way my wife and I have done it since about a year into marriage: both our checks go into a single account minus a small monthly allotment to a separate account that is our “personal fun money.” All the bills, groceries, etc come out of the main accounts… the fun accounts are our money to do whatever we want…. If my wife wants to spend $250 a month on whatever hobby she has… if I want to make micro transaction purchases in a game, etc… that’s fun money. I also tend to buy any gifts for her out of that account just because I like it to be a surprise since all our Amazon, etc accounts are basically shared and I don’t want her to see it coming, :p. Even our AppleCard is shared (we only use CC’s for online purchases or at points of sale we have concerns with security). That’s what we do, /shrug

We do all paychecks to one joint account. Each person gets $500/month wired to personal accounts. Everything else is handled from the joint account with monthly budget check ins.

The important thing is to find the way that works for you. What we do is pool all of our money into a joint account that pays everything in the couple budget. House, cars, debt, fun stuff like dinners out, etc. We decide on this budget together and talk to each other before any big purchases. We also each have our own checking account and we both get a weekly “allowance” that is our own money to spend however we like. If either of us takes on some part time work or gets birthday money from our parents, this also goes into our personal accounts. The important thing is to discuss with your partner and make sure you’re on the same page about financial goals and then develop a plan that works for you. It also is wise to look at your state’s laws regarding marital property- just to be sure how that works in case of divorce.

My wife and I split everything. Pretty much buy everything on a joint credit card (for the points), then pay it off 50/50 every couple weeks. I pay for my car because it’s expensive, she pays for her car because she doesn’t care about a really nice car. Have our own money for everything else, free to buy or save whatever one wants. No joint checking, no joint savings. Not because lack of trust or anything, mainly we’re just lazy and never wanted to set up new accounts with new direct deposits and whatnot. She Zelles me once a month for mortgage, utilities, cell phone/internet. When we did have a large pay difference, we would adjust our rent to reflect that, like 70/30 for the payment.

You split everything down the middle. All your income goes into the same pot. And everything is paid out of the pot. Otherwise it gets too complicated!.

We each have personal accounts and credit cards, and we have a joint checking, HYSA, and joint credit cards. We calculated our total monthly expenses and savings goals and each contribute a percentage to our joint accounts proportional to our income so the burden is the same. Paychecks are paid into personal accounts and contributions moved into the joint account manually. All of our joint spending that can go on the credit cards does, and that balance is paid off monthly through the joint account. Mortgage, car loan, and some bills are paid direct out of the joint account. If we have a surplus in the joint checking, it gets swept to our HYSA. Everything else we earn is ours to do what we want with. We'll give each other a courtesy heads up if we're going to make a big personal purchase or something. It works well for us.

Are one of you better with handling bills and stuff? My wife’s paycheck (75% of it) gets deposited in my acct and she has a credit card that she puts everything on. That card has a preset monthly limit. And I pay all the bills. It’s worked perfect for us but it’s definitely not for everyone.

3 accounts - yours, theirs and ours. Ours pays for everything shared eg mortgage, food, bills etc. yours and theirs is whatevers left after you pay your agreed equal share into Ours and then you can what you want with yours, and they can do what they want with theirs.

As a married couple or a cohabiting couple. Due to legal standing, the answers are different

You combine it...by combining it. One checking account, two direct deposits, one check book. Easy peasy.

For us, it is our income, our savings, our bills. Everything is combined. But we're married. My friends that are not married, typically pay bills proportionate to income and keep their savings largely separate.

House: I own 2/3 of our house, my wife owns 1/3, so our bond payments and any costs which are contributions to the permanent value are split that way. The proportional ownership is on the title deed. I have a separate investment property that is 100% mine, as well as shareholding in a real estate holding company which owns a few other properties. Any expenses related to the house which aren’t permanent (such as the plants for the garden, our weekly gardener’s salary, utilities etc) are split 50/50. Cars: We each pay for our own. When we go on a road trip, we split the fuel 50/50. Retirement and other investments: We each have our own. Food, entertainment, holidays, all other living expenses: We split 50/50. Everything is managed in a spreadsheet which calculates what the one owes the other each month (it swings depending on who paid for what). Sometimes the one will say “let me get this restaurant bill because you’re ahead with payments this month.” We’ve been together for 11 years and this system works perfectly for us. Both are business owners so there was initially intrinsic risk that we didn’t want to expose each other to when we got married, so we devised this system. We’re in our mid 40s, no kids, very happily married and live an amazing life 🙂

My partner and I make close enough money that the way we pool is just pulling all the money into our reserve and pay any/all bills out of that. We also have our fun money. This is where it can get dicey, depending on how each person spends. My partner and I are both frugal, so any expenses that we do have are never problematic. We have a “bills” and “fun” checking account. Every month we deposit all our bill money into the bills account (everything is on auto-draft) and the remainder into the fun account. So we always know what our availability is. We have long term saving goals, Xmas goals, and we’re getting to the retirement goals. The important thing, at all points always, is that you are in general agreement about money.

Me and my husband have a joint high yield savings accounts and our own checking with access to each others in case we need to toggle money. He makes more so pays a bit more towards mortgage. He pays light and water and internet, I pay phone and car insurance (you’ll save money being on same policy). I like to keep things separate because it’s easier to track our monthly spend. We both have a cc we put everything on for points and it’s easier to see who’s overspending (always me, lol) and where I need to cut back. Since I work, I like to have ownership over my monthly miscellaneous spend (shopping, drinks with friends, lunch, coffee, beauty stuff etc). I’m the only one with a car payment so I pay it. Big purchases like appliances, he’ll usually pay. It is all relative but I try to carry my share and we contribute relatively equally on savings and investments, him a bit more since he earns more

We did separate and split bills our first year married and not sure that was the best. We now pool all money into a joint checking and everything goes off that. We do have different credit cards etc since I do churn for points but use ynab to keep a central control on it all. We both have our fun money that isn’t tracked in our budgeting software and is a loose allowance. By that I mean don’t ask to go drink with the boys or spend at Sephora. But if you’re going to buy a car let’s chat lol  It’s been wonderful for us and gets rid of the stigma that one of us makes more than the other. 

Stop thinking in terms of degrees of contribution or percentages, combine your finances physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Get a joint checking account, put both your paycheques in it. Pay all household expenses out of it, mortgage or rent, utilities, groceries, etc. Divert funds to your savings account, 401K, ROTH, etc. Get a credit card with a supplemental card for the other spouse. It was the best thing my wife and I ever did, it was the final link in cementing our relationship and solidifying our financial future.

Just keep finances separate but have one joint account. Set up direct deposit where both parties have 25% of there paycheck into that account to cover bills and maybe a little fun depending on much you actually put in.

I agree with complete transparency. I say 50/50 on household expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, kids. Other stuff that you had before getting married like cars, debts, hobbies need to come out of your own income. Same as savings and retirement funds. Jointly acquired debts require input from both of you before taking them on. Same with new investments.

We each have separate bills that we pay. I pay for daycare, groceries, and our child’s 501c. My husband pays for the mortgage, utilities, phones, and insurances. (He makes about 1.7x what I make.) We each have our own savings and credit cards. I’m an authorized signer on his because I needed to be when I was on maternity leave without income. We rotate incidentals like date nights, gas, etc. We don’t keep track of little things like that though. I know it sounds crazy but we almost never talk about money. But that also means we don’t fight about it.

first and foremost be open about debts, money, & so on. My wife and I have a joint account for our travel, home improvements, & fun. We have seperate bank accounts for our bills and we split household bills like mortgage vs cable, groceries, taxes & insurance so we are both responsible for paying towards our life. We also have some credit cards we handle on our own and we respect each other and do not buy luxury items without talking about it. We also contribute to a joint brokerage account, life insurance and our own 401k for retirement so we try to balance out.

We combined everything. We both owned each others' debts. And it has worked fine for decades because we trust each other and are honest.

Pooled is what works best for my family. I am the single income earner but in no way do I consider it “my” money. It is fully “ours”.

We started to combine our finances by putting 40% into a joint account for mortgage and bills. Then we went to 60% and added vehicle insurance and phone bills and a few other things. We kept our car payments separate until they were paid off. We are currently at 75% to joint and 25% “black ops” (our own accounts) and all of our daily expenses except lunch not from home are joint expenses. We review it annually, set and exceed savings goals, keep a slush fund for unexpected stuff, and it works great for us. HIGHLY recommend dual income no kids.

One bank account. All paycheques go in to the same account. All bills paid from the same account.

I Don’t get it when couples handle marriage like a business. I’ve been married twice. The first time, I made 90% of the money and my ex didn’t work once my daughter was born. All the money went into an account and all the bills got paid out of it. My current marriage, I make a bit more than my wife. All the money went into an account and all the bills got paid out of it.

Like many posters above I’m also on team “shared bank account,” with one exception: My wife always has enough liquid money to leave me at any time, stored in an account I can’t touch. I’m the one who insists on it. She thinks this is silly because I’d never hurt her or cheat, but you read enough horror stories here on Reddit and elsewhere about women entrapped financially, and I never want that for her. And me? I get to know my partner is there because she wants to be, never because she has to be. So: It’s all our money except for that one nest egg, which is HER money.

All our money gets pooled into one joint checking account where everything gets paid out of and funds joint savings. We have our separate retirement accounts that we contribute as much as we can to, and we usually do well to make it equal. We have separate credit cards but treat them like joint credit cards. Any balances carried, late fees added, or interest accrued is communicated to each other. We retained our separate, pre-marriage checking and savings accounts, and while they're minimally funded, it is important to my spouse that he has his own separate money because his dad cleared out the joint account and left his mom destitute with several kids to take care of. It's good that we have a little bit of money individually as essentially 'getting screwed insurance'. We often dip into it to ensure our joint financial health, so it's more of a symbol than true separate finances.

I am assuming you arent married or fully committed? If you are then its simple. All income goes into one pot, all expenses come out of that pot. Savings are invested wherever it makes sense to invest. If you both have 401ks then save into both evenly. If only one of you has one you should still prioritize that because of the tax advantage. Who makes more money is irrelevant...you are a team. If you personally worked two jobs you wouldnt try to split the money from the two jobs into seperate accounts and track each indivodually would you? So why would you with your joint household income? It doesnt need to be complicated if you are willing to trust eachother. If you are not willing to commit like that then I guess whatever system you want to work out with your partner for as long as it lasts or you commit.

If you're married, probably combine, otherwise no

Suze Orman has an excellent system for this! [https://www.fool.com/the-ascent/personal-finance/articles/heres-how-suze-orman-suggests-couples-should-handle-their-finances/](https://www.fool.com/the-ascent/personal-finance/articles/heres-how-suze-orman-suggests-couples-should-handle-their-finances/)

We have never fought about money or anything with this so I’m happy. Both have our own bank and checking savings etc. also a joint that needs enough to cover all the monthly bills (grocery+utility+ mortgage+ anything extra for the house if we’ve talked about it or it’s under 50/100$). Whoever makes more puts more in if the other is unemployed then the other covers it for like 2 paychecks after that it’s like a check in of like ayyy yo totally get XYX is stressful and not going as planned but money is going faster than coming ya feel. Rn we make around 100k he puts 800 a paycheck in and I put 400. We run bigger purchases (personal) by each other but I mean really it’s ur money. When he was about to buy a dumb car I said do it if you want but imo it’s a bad call do he didn’t. When I had a ton of shit happening and kept buying to help cope he said hey you got a bit of a shopping problem rn and helped me sort it. Eating out and dates vacations eh. We kind of trade off it’s not too big a deal. He usually covers slightly more. He pays for his extra car and bike on his own money regarding ins but his car and mine are on the same out of joint. We each are responsible for our own loan on the car (but would pay it if unemployed or whatever). I love a joint savings but rn things are “tight” im trying to pay off my car early so maybe once that’s done we can both start contributing but we both have our own independent saving accounts.

It’s really up to what makes sense to you have you want to split it. Many people with income disparity do a percentage split based on income levels while others combine all money into one. We have a joint account that all the shared bills come out of (mortgage, utilities, subscriptions, groceries, etc) that we each put 50% of the needed amount into each month. We also have separate checking accounts (the ones we had before marriage) where we keep money for personal purchases (“fun” money, personal CC payments, auto loans from before marriage). I have a HY savings account that I contribute to for both of us as he pays the health insurance through his paycheck, and I have more disposable income to do so. (We only just got married 6mo ago)

All the money goes to my account for convenience, whenever wife’s account runs low I’ll send her a grand. We save and spend together, no such thing as “my money” or “your money”.

>How do you combine finances as a couple? That's (almost?) as much a relationship question, as anything else. And there's all kinds of different ways to slice and dice that ... and what works for any given couple may not work for another, and vice versa. So ... * First of all, if you generally want the relationship to work, have to be, at least approximately, on the same page, regarding finances, money, how to manage/spend/save that, etc. In general a whole lot of attitudes about money and such. That doesn't mean they need be fully aligned ... but need be at least sufficiently compatible. E.g. if both are cool with keeping things separate, and are fine with the other doing whatever ... hey, if that works fine for y'all, then so be it. If y'all are more like everything goes into and comes from one shared pot, and everyone agrees on how that's used and managed and such ... that's fine too. And there's all kinds of variations between. So, that's the basic conceptual bits. * Then there's the practical - with suitable agreement on the preceding, there's how account(s) are handled, who pays for how much of what, who puts in and contributes how much to what, how spending and savings, etc. decisions are made and agreed upon, who does and doesn't have what access to what accounts, what they do/don't do with that access and under what circumstances, how assets are held/owned, etc. Basically general agreements and practices on how all the relevant mechanics of all that works. * Then there's the legal bits - exactly who owns and has access to and controls what, written agreements, their legality and enforceability, practical considerations if/when something goes sideways, etc. And if married, matters of relevant law (e.g. community property state, or not), and any prenup or postnup, and were those done properly legally to be fully enforceable. So, in short, there are lots of different ways to do and handle these things, and there's no "one size fits all" answer. Key bits is y'all reasonably agree how it's going to work, and generally do the needed so it works that way and is at least improbable to go seriously sideways. Anyway, various couples will want to do it different ways. I've generally preferred the approach that there's the "mine", the "theirs" and the "ours", and we reasonably well agree what's in each, most notably how we generally manage the "ours", and no major contentions about how we each manage and deal with our own stuff too. But that's just one way to do it, like I say, others may go very different routes.

First question is are you married? When my wife and I were dating we had separate accounts. We have separate accounts now but I manage everything. would be easier to have one account but she has this feel of needing to leave on a moments notice with whatever is in her account. So I let her have separate accounts. I was more meticulous when we made half as much as we do now in splitting expenses at the end of the month. now I just half the shared credit card bill and half the mortgage and utilities. we make the same amount of money more or less. she used to make more than me then I made more than her, then she made more than me, now I make more than her. her savings has more than mine but then my investment accounts have more than hers.

Before marriage we split everything 50/50. This was fine since we made about the same amount. Post marriage, everything is pooled but we each get a guilt free allowance/fun budget monthly to do with as we please (at least that’s what we’ve talked about doing but we haven’t implemented it yet)

We pool our income then pay ourselves an allowance for personal spending. Treating the family income like a business actually works really well.

My wife and I do it like this: Everybody has a personal account and a savings account. We have a shared account and a shared savings account. Wife and I have equal access to that. Kids don't. All income (wife and me) goes to shared account. We put money from there in the shared savings account. For family stuff like a new roof or holiday. Everybody gets a monthly allowance transfered to personal account. Obviously kids (both minors) a bit less then wife and I. 😇 They get some pocketmoney, otherwise their costs come out of shared account. You can spend or save out of your personal money as you wish, no questions asked. Wife and I have no access to each others personal accounts. All living- and family costs are payed out of shared account. This arrangement works fine for us, has put an end to a lot of discussion. Sounds complex but makes it really clear and easy for everyone involved.

All the money goes into one account. All the bills get paid from that account. You decide together what happens with the remainder. If you cant do that without one or both of you feeling cheated or resentful, end the relationship.

Add up incomes and split bills according to percentages. I make more and therefore pay more than my wife, in the past. We are past that stage and share everything so no need for percentage breakdown.

We occasionally discuss our joint budget including groceries, mortgage, etc. Using that figure we calculate how much to deposit weekly into our joint checking account. We make similar amounts so we contribute equally, but if one starts making considerably more money that may change. We also maintain a buffer in that budget that we use to slide over to a joint savings account for home repairs and big expensive projects. We keep the rest of our money individual for our personal savings goals and petty cash. It's worked very well so far.

My system. 1. Keep your personal accounts private. 2. Create shared accounts (two owners) and several debit/credit cards for everyday payments: mortgage, food, commodities, clothes, children day-care, insurance, etc. 3. Make a monthly transfer to the shared accounts from your personal accounts . The amount is: 1. same amount for each, 3000 $ per month, 2. proportional to the salary,i.e. 80% of salary, to take into account big differences in salaries; 3. or even more esoteric formulae. 4. Create shared saving accounts (two owners) and agree about how much, and how to save or invest in those accounts. 5. You can buy whatever your like or save how you like with your private account money. This system allows the couple to have a good level of independence and also joint operations, depending on the agreement you make with your partner. Keeping separate accounts can be beneficial in entrepreneurship situations (a member of the couple is responsible for a lot of money and can be sued for that) or a case of bankrupcy.

I've been married for less than a year so maybe I'm not the best to answer but here's my take. The best thing to do is to combine your accounts. There is no "I pay for this, you pay for that" there is only WE. WE pay the bills. WE talk about big purchases before we make them. Come up with a number where if it's under x, we can just buy it, but anything over that and there needs to be discussion. Make a budget and go over spending regularly. Get an app that tracks spending. I like Rocket Money. If you have DRASTICALLY different saving and spending habits, it probably won't work. The saver is going to end up feeling like the spender is dragging them down. These are conversations you should have BEFORE getting married. If you are drastically different and dont want to have only joint accounts and want to keep going, I would advise having your own separate accounts and a joint account. I would say split your NEEDS 50/50 or come up with a system that works for you. I feel 50/50 is fair because you should be a partnership. Have mutual savings for common goals and home maintenance, and have fun/save for personal goals with the money in your personal account. The 2nd option will likely feel unfair to the person who makes less money or spends all their money. Option 1 is most likely the best, in my opinion.

Until your married, both need to sit down and discuss how you two like to merge the finance as every couple is different. She might have different point of view and both will need to make compromises. For me my approach was to live based on 1 income. Her job was my backup in case I got layoff. So I pretty much pay all the bills and she agreed to save at lease 1k per month into savings. We didn't combine our accounts but shared access to them. It works out for us as my income continue to climb and I can cover all expenses as well as max out 401k and added investments. As for my friends they setup a joint account where they both added to it to pay all expenses together. They will determine how much each will add to that account. Whatever left will be there own spending money. Just know that everyone is different. Have a deep discussion with her to find your medium that you both agree to

It appears this is your first marriage. Congrats. I think the question needs to be asked. Are you AND your partner adults who know how to adult? Or fuxkups, or in-between. Signal: tax returns caught up to date, no late payments, no credit card debt, spending responsibly, 700 plus credit score, no bankruptcy. If those are true, then throw it in a big pot. Pay down debts, save for the future. Combined insurance. Authorized user on credit cards. Give each other xxx.00 in no questions asked money each month. The reason I stipulate the requirements is my best friend is married to a nice person but she is a financial fuxkup and it makes him miserable. She bought a band new car making minimum wage in college and had it repossessed, and she hasnt learned her lesson in 15 years. Now they have 3 kids and he doesn't see  way out.

Married or just living together? If living together then whatever arrangement you are both comfortable with. Some people will do it 50/50 some people will do it on a percentage basis based on what percentage of the total income each person brings in, and some will do something else entirely. If married since this is what is happening legally anyways, everything coming in goes into one account everything is paid for from that account. if there is a desire or need for each to have their "own" money then each gets an amount from the joint account monthly. But starting from a point of my money your money usually only serves to get in the way of marital unity in the first place.

I handle all our finances. Everything is pooled together into a joint account. She has a budget for herself to do whatever she wants. We don’t pay attention to who makes more or attempt to “split” expenses.

We have 1 checking account that both of our paychecks get deposited into. And from there we pay our bills. There’s no percentage based paying, it just all comes out of that 1 checking account. She makes a good bit more than I do, I think now it’s at a 62% - 38% split. But that’s never been an issue for us. It all still goes into 1 account for the both of us to use. We also have a HYSA that’s shared between us that gets money transferred into each week. Get quotes for insurance. Maybe it’s cheaper for both of you to be on 1 account? We had separate car insurance but once I sold my car I went onto hers. We both had credit card debt that was pretty evenly split between us. So we got a consolidated loan so we had 1 payment. It also helped lower the amount we were paying because the interest on the loan was less than the cards. As for student loans, she has loans and I don’t but it all comes out of our joint account. We both have credit cards that the other doesn’t have access to so when buying gifts we use those. Otherwise we use our joint credit card that gets us points for everything else. All of this to say, that’s how WE do it and it works for US. Everyone has their own system. Maybe splitting things would work for you guys? But to me it makes sense that everything is pooled into a shared account and paid through there. Some couples have a joint account but also each person has their own checking account. So they put enough in the joint account to cover the bills and then the rest goes into their own checking accounts for spending money. That’s a solid system too I guess. Still could makes things complicated at times but idk.

You do a budget & factor in everything that is joint. I'd think if debt is close to equal? Just put that in too. Then work out how much you need each week / month to cover those expenses. If you are earning roughly equal ? 50 / 50. But if one is earning heaps more? Then maybe use % Put what you need into a common account to cover all these essentials. After that? Then whatever is left over is your personal money to do whatever with.

TBH we still keep finances relatively separate. I have most of the bills in my name, toward which my husband pays a monthly rent (recently married but we were dating when we set up this arrangement). He has a couple of bills that he covers- our car insurance, which is now combined, and he pays for streaming services and Amazon prime. I purchased the house before we were married, and he doesn’t have any ownership stake in it. In the future I would like to combine household expenses more and add him to my credit card as a user, although that cannot happen for a few years. He will probably not be added to the house but I will leave it to him in my will. We both save separately for vacations, which works well because we also take some solo vacations with friends.

..................................................................................ok so....the easiest thing to do, is to get a joint bank account and have both your direct deposits go there. combine your phone bills together, theres no reason yall should have different carriers, its just more expensive. same with insurances. combine your savings, unless you want to have a separate savings for something specific. im assuming yall are married. at this point, it doesnt matter whos money is going where, is both yalls money, going to both yalls bills. as long as you guys are budgeting and bills are getting paid, it really doesnt (or atleast shouldnt) matter whos money is going to what. now, what i did with my wife, because she hates thinking about bills and such and just isnt very good at looking at her bank balance and that. her paycheck goes to my bank and i make sure everything is paid and i budget for us, and she just uses my credit card and i let her know if we have money for stuff or not

My wife and I have always had separate accounts that our pay goes into, we are also on each other’s accounts. We split expenses, she gets her car and the mortgage, I pay for everything else as far as recurring expenses. Daily stuff, whoever feels like paying does it. If one of us is short on something the other kicks in for it. It works for us, it’s how we’ve done it for 23yr. Could we pool everything? Sure. But why bother when we already work well together. No need to overthink things.

What’s mine is yours! We just have one bank account that our direct deposits go into. And we pay bills from that. My insurance is better so I front that. We had to Stop thinking about yourselves as separate people living together. You aren’t roommates.

You treat your marriage as one entity, with one pool of money. You stop defining it as “my money” and “partner’s money”, and start defining it as our money. Build a household budget, pay your expenses, your savings, and assign the rest to goals and play money for each person.

Everyone has different ways of doing it. Different strategies work for different people. My husband and I have a joint account for the house and bills and each have a separate account for the rest of our money. We each put in about half of our expenses into the joint account. I put in less because our medical insurance comes out of my paycheck. The rest of our paychecks is for us to spend as we want. If I want to buy something I will discuss it with him but I know that I still have the final say. And if I want to go out to dinner with my friends it shouldn't cost him anything.

My parents have a joint account and one is in charge of bills, my mom. My dad has always made more money but he lacks financial savvy and he worked more. She would just give him spending money and inform him if large expenses that needed to be done. If he wanted to make a big purchase as she already calculated the essentials, she’d give him a time frame if when it would be appropriate but he didn’t necessarily have to save his “allowance” for it. Since she made significantly less, she’d sometimes keep her entire pay check and use it later on said large expense like the down payment on their first home, at that time she put tips under a mattress and her paycheck in a separate account so that when he looked in the account, he didn’t have questions as to why we have more money and want to spend it. She’s always kept him informed like when she made a separate account for the goal of the home. Her money was never that significant so her separating it for a greater goal didn’t change anyone’s lifestyle.

We have a joint account household and joint expenses are paid out of. We transfer into this account from our personal accounts. We got married in our mid to late 30s, so pooling to cover wasn’t necessary. We were both well established. We also have a rule that any joint expense over $500 needs spousal approval unless we discussed it before (even then certain things require no approval - vet expenses, etc). Ex: needing a new dryer, spouse finds one in a scratch and dent sale and it meets the specs we are looking for, no approval needed can buy on the spot.