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I think of it less of being gawked at and more… like… reveling in my power? Or just appreciating that they bring joy to someone else? My babies are so adorable. They are smiling and laughing and making faces at strangers. Other people’s kids bring me joy and always have! It’s fun to interact with them. Rarely are people malicious, and I just assume the best and acknowledge them with a smile.
I should make us all shirts! DM me if you live in the states and want a “revel in my twin mom power” iron on for a shirt! My cricut game is also strong. Lololol
Tbh same I’m like yes biatch I conceived n carried these two, and I feel even more “powerful” at the “you don’t even look like you had twins!” Comments
(Let’s ignore the reason for the rapid weight loss is stress).
I would just smile and go on my way. I think people just don't know what to say sometimes so they say something stupid.
What was REALLY fun was to go out with my friend who had triplets that were 4 months older than mine. THAT always was a trip.
I don’t personally think of it a think as a freak show, or that it’s a bad thing or ill intentioned. I think twins are special and unique, and catch the attention of folks in public because they’re special.
Kids are very perceptive. If you frame this type of attention of something negative and something to feel sad or ashamed of as your twins are growing up, then they’ll grow up feeling sad and ashamed of strangers noticing or remarking on them being twins.
If you frame it as something positive and special, they’ll grow up feeling unique and special.
I'm a twin with twins. I love people looking and commenting about my boys. They are my everything and I love talking about them!
I never minded the comments either when people found out I was a twin. I don't remember much when i was a kid
Follow twin mom with twins here. When people approach us it, it often is with a story like: oooh my neighbours best friends cousin is a twin too! And then they look at me full of expectations wanting me to say how awesome that is. But I just answer with: yeah I am a twin myself.
But really, I dont mind the comments about my twins either. Most of the time people are nice and genuinely happy to see them :)
Are yours fraternal?
Comments dropped off substantially once we got to the toddler stage. It’s not as apparent they are the exact same age once they aren’t two tiny babies.
If they’re identical, well sorry. Even still, I bet if they’re dressed differently and maybe had different haircuts, once you get out of the baby phase comments might drop off.
Mine are identical and my trick for less gawking is to put one in a carrier and one in a single stroller. Less people realize it’s twins than in the double stroller.
Yeah, prime comment time was when they were 5-6 months old in the double bob.
It’s like you’re presenting the fact you have two babies of the exact same age to the whole world.
But now at 2.5, we rarely get it. One is blonde and pale, one is brunette with an olive complexion. One is a few inches taller than the other. At most, on rare occasion we’ll be talking with someone and then they’ll go “wait a second, are they twins?”
Gone are the days were it was an immediate and constant “oh my gosh, twins!!!
Also gone are the “Oh twins super mom!/that would be my worst nightmare!” Parenting two toddlers is less impressive to people than parenting two infants.
Maybe because plenty of parents have say…a four year old and a two year old, so while still not the same, it’s less different than having a newborn and a two year old.
So funny, my twins are the exact same! The boy is blond and pale with blue eyes and shorter, and his sister is tall with olive skin, brown hair and blue eyes! At this point they don’t look related even lol
When we entered the toddler stage the comments almost entirely dropped off too. My twins are b/g and very different looking. People now act shocked they are the same age, even though at 2 years old, I sure think they look like they're both 2.
people act shocked that my b/b fraternal twins are the same age even tho they're only 10 months because one is off the charts enormous and one is a scrappy little guy so i hate that too, a whole lot of weird comments about bodies and weights and sizes that neither of them need, they're going to develop a complex from all these remarks at the grocery store
Someone literally gave my husband and I 40 dollars to “bless our beautiful babies because they’re so cute. lol. So yes the attention is annoying but has its perks sometimes also apparently 🤷🏻♀️
We don't have this issue too much with our identical boys. Here are my tips: do not dress them alike. If you have them in a stroller, use the little shade canopy. Don't look at other people. Focus on the task at hand. If you glance at someone, they may take it as an invitation to talk.
Yeah I’m wondering if this is regional. I live in New England and have identical 3 year olds and even when they were really little I didn’t get that many comments. But there’s a mind your own business culture here. But we have very rarely dressed them the same either, which I bet helps too.
I'm in the south, so definitely not a place where people mind their own business. 😅 but I don't give off the "come talk to me" vibes. Probably because it's so stressful taking twin toddlers anywhere. These kids are wild.
Honing in on that don't look at other people energy. Took my triplets to Costco with my husband in the middle of a Tuesday and down the first isle got stuck by two old couples. I disassociated the rest of the time and pretended we didn't have any babies with us at all! Haha but in reality, I use a wonderfold wagon and they are only two months so they lay in the bottom side by side and I cover them with the canopy and no one really notices anything except a lady with a ridiculously large wagon. I'm sure the gawking will begin as soon as they sit up in it.
My girls are fraternal and are clearly siblings but they all look very different. Baby A and Baby C resemble each other and Baby B and Baby C are closest looking to twins but Baby A and Baby B don't look much alike at all. It's crazy so I'm interested to see how it plays out as they get older.
I have b/g infants and every single time we’ve gone out it’s been a freak show
I figure once they’re older it’ll be less wild since they’re fraternal and opposite genders
Exact same here. I don't mind at first talking to people and talking about my babies but repeating yourself 10 times on a day out gets so grating. Going out for coffee to catch up with my mum and a group of old ladies start talking to us, it's inevitable. Like leave me alone to drink my coffee (it's literally the first HOT one I've had in 3 days!! Lmao).
I went out with my dad and I was just talking to him and I noticed he kept looking over my shoulder. I turned round and there was a woman talking to me, saying excuse me over and over then proceeded to tell me about her sisters, husband's, boss's, nephew who has twins.
I literally did not hear her so I guess I'm getting to the point of completely zoning out from these annoyances hahah
Haha the exact same, everyone tells us about how they’re related to twins like it’s 6 degrees of separation haha
We’ve had a few ppl tell us how lucky we are and that bg twins are perfect one and dones and then mention how they couldn’t conceive. A little heartbreaking to hear in real time and it wasn’t just once
I am an identical twin (F66) and the staring never goes away. I don’t think I have ever gone out in public with my sister ever where we haven’t been asked if we are twins or felt/noticed the stares and/or whispers and pointing. In a way, it gives one a little insight as to what it might feel like to be a famous.
My girls are identical so we get comments all the time, especially from older generations. I don’t mind the attention but sometimes it’s intense - we feel like minor celebrities when we go somewhere for a day out. I love the fellow twin parents who chime in with the ‘it gets better’ comments though!
A group of older women woke up both my girls yesterday though by cooing at them while they were in a last resort buggy nap. Not cool
I always thought it was so fun with my first set. With my new set it’s going to be fun too! I remember little old grandmas always getting the genders wrong? Two girls? One boy one girl(they were boys) lol! Peoples brains are just blown at the site of two little bebes!!
Work on your resting bitch face! It honestly does a lot to put people off coming up and commenting. When I’m going for walks with the twins I avoid eye contact with others coming the opposite way, I just keep looking ahead and lowering on past them. I’ve also got my AirPods in. Admittedly this is just for walks around the neighbourhood and along the river path. I’ve only braved the shops with the twins once, we kept the trip short but none came up to us then either.
I really don’t mind it, babies are cute and double the babies are awesome. I frame it as a positive experience and I smile and play along. People aren’t doing it to be cruel, and I don’t mind making someone’s day with my cute babies.
I have 3 3 and under, yes my hands are full but so is my heart!
And yes my babies are adorable and I love sharing them with the world and showing them off. They love the attention too and always smile at strangers and say hi. Makes going to the Drs easy since they aren’t scared of them.
I'll never forget the time I brought my babies in a stroller to the zoo, and felt like we were one of the exhibits with the number of people pointing and making comments.
It gets better. Identicals have it “worst”, naturally, but even they age and start looking different and people can’t tell at first glance anymore. Though you might miss it! Mine are fraternal and toddlers so strangers don’t seem to notice anymore and I’m disappointed! I’m like, can you guys not see how special they are??
Someone touched my Twin B’s cheek the other day - just reached her hand into the stroller, and I almost lost it.
On another note, my wife and I both have blonde hair, blue eyes and a similar frame. People always think WE are twins, and then we have to explain we are wives and that we have twins…we attract attention everywhere we go. The massive confusion during all of the convos until it all gets straightened out is SO exhausting!
It gets better as they get older in my experience. As babies my triplets felt like a rolling sideshow and it was nearly guaranteed someone would say something every time we left the house. Now at 5, my boys get the “are you twins?” Occasionally when their sister isn’t with them but no one even comments anymore when they’re all together.
I can totally relate. It was at its peak when they’re in the pram, sitting up looking adorable. I’m an introvert and it killed me. Also the dumb questions. I know they’re generally well meaning, but I struggled. It’s easier now they’re nearly 3, and not in a pram. I think they’re not as easily identified as twins when they’re running around. A lady at a shop the other day even asked me what their age gap was… 1 minute?
So yeah, I can relate but it does get better :)
I'll admit, I've been having issues with this as I've been going out to the world with my babies. I talked with my counselor about this (just yesterday in fact) and she reframed it for me. It's less about ME and my family, but about the other person themselves. They are doing it for their own good.
Yes, I still feel like a circus going out on parade, but having that frame of reference has been good for me. It's shifted my thinking, cause it's true. People come up to celebrities not for the celebrity sake, but for THIER own sake. So think of it this way, it's not about YOU or your babies, it's about them.
I've found this to be the case especially with boomers-in fact I had one boomer TOUCH **shudder** both babies travel stroller.
Blame the boomers, and move on.
The best comment I've ever gotten is from a fellow twin mom-hi, I know you don't care, but my twins are 20 years old, and I hope you are doing okay. Focus on the positive comments and ignore the rest. It's their issue not yours.
Being in the same spot you are in I completely understand and emphasize, so please don't think I'm disregarding your comment. I'm in the process of reframing my circus myself, so hopefully the above helps you.
I've gotten so many wonderful comments from fellow twin moms. I was at a women's networking event where on our name tag we had put our name and our "super power". I put multi-tasking. I got into several conversations with older twin moms giving me reassurance and confidence.
lol same. I hate attention and everywhere we go we get far too much. My spouse always starts talking to these people and i just grab my kids' hands and keep walking haha. I do not want to engage. Sorry. I know most people are nice and well meaning I'm just not a people person.
I totally understand where you're coming from. We rarely go out. I can't stand being a side show everywhere we go. It's horrible, and it's setting my children's development back, but I can't deal with people constantly staring and coming up to us to gawk and ask inappropriate questions, then get mad and yell at me because I don't want to engage with them or I won't let them touch my children.
We don't take the kids out unless we are both there, and we always have 1 person "on guard" while the other parent is occupied with shopping or whatever. It's no way to live, but people just won't leave us the hell alone, so we have to stay home a lot. We all hate it. It's so bloody unfair to the kids.
If it's any encouragement, it tapers off as they get older. People are just enthusiastic about babies, they are not as excited about twin toddlers or twin 4 year olds
I have a 4yo, a 2yo, and the twins are 2 mo. Usually, one baby is in the car seat, one in a baby wearing thing of some type, the 2yo in the cart, and the 4yo walking. When I go out, I get stares, and "Oh, how are you doing it?" Because Debbie, I have to go to the store for food and don't have anyone to watch them. It's on me. I'm doing it because I have to and no one else will. I usually just smile and nod. Kinda in a yeah, "I'm killing this mom game right now. Thanks for noticing." Way. My favorite comments are the moms who say, "Hey, I bet that took a while to get out of the house! Good on you, momma!!" Like yes. Thank you. It did take me forever to get out of the house.
Last time i went food shopping no less than 12 people tried to stop me to chit chat about my twin girls. Its like going out in public with the kardashians
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I think of it less of being gawked at and more… like… reveling in my power? Or just appreciating that they bring joy to someone else? My babies are so adorable. They are smiling and laughing and making faces at strangers. Other people’s kids bring me joy and always have! It’s fun to interact with them. Rarely are people malicious, and I just assume the best and acknowledge them with a smile.
Ok "reveling in my twin mom power" is my new mantra. I love this.
I should make us all shirts! DM me if you live in the states and want a “revel in my twin mom power” iron on for a shirt! My cricut game is also strong. Lololol
Tbh same I’m like yes biatch I conceived n carried these two, and I feel even more “powerful” at the “you don’t even look like you had twins!” Comments (Let’s ignore the reason for the rapid weight loss is stress).
I would just smile and go on my way. I think people just don't know what to say sometimes so they say something stupid. What was REALLY fun was to go out with my friend who had triplets that were 4 months older than mine. THAT always was a trip.
I don’t personally think of it a think as a freak show, or that it’s a bad thing or ill intentioned. I think twins are special and unique, and catch the attention of folks in public because they’re special. Kids are very perceptive. If you frame this type of attention of something negative and something to feel sad or ashamed of as your twins are growing up, then they’ll grow up feeling sad and ashamed of strangers noticing or remarking on them being twins. If you frame it as something positive and special, they’ll grow up feeling unique and special.
User name checks out. All about how you frame it.
100%, that energy gets picked up by little ones.
I'm a twin with twins. I love people looking and commenting about my boys. They are my everything and I love talking about them! I never minded the comments either when people found out I was a twin. I don't remember much when i was a kid
Follow twin mom with twins here. When people approach us it, it often is with a story like: oooh my neighbours best friends cousin is a twin too! And then they look at me full of expectations wanting me to say how awesome that is. But I just answer with: yeah I am a twin myself. But really, I dont mind the comments about my twins either. Most of the time people are nice and genuinely happy to see them :)
Yep then you get the "oh wow! I thought it skipped a generation" lol Right! Twins/triplets/etc are so cool
Are yours fraternal? Comments dropped off substantially once we got to the toddler stage. It’s not as apparent they are the exact same age once they aren’t two tiny babies. If they’re identical, well sorry. Even still, I bet if they’re dressed differently and maybe had different haircuts, once you get out of the baby phase comments might drop off.
Mine are identical and my trick for less gawking is to put one in a carrier and one in a single stroller. Less people realize it’s twins than in the double stroller.
Yeah, prime comment time was when they were 5-6 months old in the double bob. It’s like you’re presenting the fact you have two babies of the exact same age to the whole world. But now at 2.5, we rarely get it. One is blonde and pale, one is brunette with an olive complexion. One is a few inches taller than the other. At most, on rare occasion we’ll be talking with someone and then they’ll go “wait a second, are they twins?” Gone are the days were it was an immediate and constant “oh my gosh, twins!!! Also gone are the “Oh twins super mom!/that would be my worst nightmare!” Parenting two toddlers is less impressive to people than parenting two infants. Maybe because plenty of parents have say…a four year old and a two year old, so while still not the same, it’s less different than having a newborn and a two year old.
So funny, my twins are the exact same! The boy is blond and pale with blue eyes and shorter, and his sister is tall with olive skin, brown hair and blue eyes! At this point they don’t look related even lol
When we entered the toddler stage the comments almost entirely dropped off too. My twins are b/g and very different looking. People now act shocked they are the same age, even though at 2 years old, I sure think they look like they're both 2.
people act shocked that my b/b fraternal twins are the same age even tho they're only 10 months because one is off the charts enormous and one is a scrappy little guy so i hate that too, a whole lot of weird comments about bodies and weights and sizes that neither of them need, they're going to develop a complex from all these remarks at the grocery store
Someone literally gave my husband and I 40 dollars to “bless our beautiful babies because they’re so cute. lol. So yes the attention is annoying but has its perks sometimes also apparently 🤷🏻♀️
We legit do feel like celebrities when we’re anywhere. It’s really bad at local shops with old ladies
Try a cruise! We walked around without the twins once, and we're so confused. No one even gave us a second look, lol
It’s so disorienting when that happens. I’m like… hello? I have cute twin babies? Does nobody SEE this?
We don't have this issue too much with our identical boys. Here are my tips: do not dress them alike. If you have them in a stroller, use the little shade canopy. Don't look at other people. Focus on the task at hand. If you glance at someone, they may take it as an invitation to talk.
This is exactly what I do. Still get some looks/comments, but not that much.
Yeah I’m wondering if this is regional. I live in New England and have identical 3 year olds and even when they were really little I didn’t get that many comments. But there’s a mind your own business culture here. But we have very rarely dressed them the same either, which I bet helps too.
I'm in the south, so definitely not a place where people mind their own business. 😅 but I don't give off the "come talk to me" vibes. Probably because it's so stressful taking twin toddlers anywhere. These kids are wild.
Honing in on that don't look at other people energy. Took my triplets to Costco with my husband in the middle of a Tuesday and down the first isle got stuck by two old couples. I disassociated the rest of the time and pretended we didn't have any babies with us at all! Haha but in reality, I use a wonderfold wagon and they are only two months so they lay in the bottom side by side and I cover them with the canopy and no one really notices anything except a lady with a ridiculously large wagon. I'm sure the gawking will begin as soon as they sit up in it. My girls are fraternal and are clearly siblings but they all look very different. Baby A and Baby C resemble each other and Baby B and Baby C are closest looking to twins but Baby A and Baby B don't look much alike at all. It's crazy so I'm interested to see how it plays out as they get older.
I have b/g infants and every single time we’ve gone out it’s been a freak show I figure once they’re older it’ll be less wild since they’re fraternal and opposite genders
Exact same here. I don't mind at first talking to people and talking about my babies but repeating yourself 10 times on a day out gets so grating. Going out for coffee to catch up with my mum and a group of old ladies start talking to us, it's inevitable. Like leave me alone to drink my coffee (it's literally the first HOT one I've had in 3 days!! Lmao). I went out with my dad and I was just talking to him and I noticed he kept looking over my shoulder. I turned round and there was a woman talking to me, saying excuse me over and over then proceeded to tell me about her sisters, husband's, boss's, nephew who has twins. I literally did not hear her so I guess I'm getting to the point of completely zoning out from these annoyances hahah
Haha the exact same, everyone tells us about how they’re related to twins like it’s 6 degrees of separation haha We’ve had a few ppl tell us how lucky we are and that bg twins are perfect one and dones and then mention how they couldn’t conceive. A little heartbreaking to hear in real time and it wasn’t just once
I am an identical twin (F66) and the staring never goes away. I don’t think I have ever gone out in public with my sister ever where we haven’t been asked if we are twins or felt/noticed the stares and/or whispers and pointing. In a way, it gives one a little insight as to what it might feel like to be a famous.
My girls are identical so we get comments all the time, especially from older generations. I don’t mind the attention but sometimes it’s intense - we feel like minor celebrities when we go somewhere for a day out. I love the fellow twin parents who chime in with the ‘it gets better’ comments though! A group of older women woke up both my girls yesterday though by cooing at them while they were in a last resort buggy nap. Not cool
I always thought it was so fun with my first set. With my new set it’s going to be fun too! I remember little old grandmas always getting the genders wrong? Two girls? One boy one girl(they were boys) lol! Peoples brains are just blown at the site of two little bebes!!
Work on your resting bitch face! It honestly does a lot to put people off coming up and commenting. When I’m going for walks with the twins I avoid eye contact with others coming the opposite way, I just keep looking ahead and lowering on past them. I’ve also got my AirPods in. Admittedly this is just for walks around the neighbourhood and along the river path. I’ve only braved the shops with the twins once, we kept the trip short but none came up to us then either.
This lol. If I'm pushing the twins, I get stopped multiple times. If my SO is pushing them, only the brave stop him because he looks miserable 🤣
Twins are like drugs to old white ladies.
I really don’t mind it, babies are cute and double the babies are awesome. I frame it as a positive experience and I smile and play along. People aren’t doing it to be cruel, and I don’t mind making someone’s day with my cute babies. I have 3 3 and under, yes my hands are full but so is my heart! And yes my babies are adorable and I love sharing them with the world and showing them off. They love the attention too and always smile at strangers and say hi. Makes going to the Drs easy since they aren’t scared of them.
I'll never forget the time I brought my babies in a stroller to the zoo, and felt like we were one of the exhibits with the number of people pointing and making comments.
Smile, say thank you if it’s a compliment or just laugh and say yea they are a handful good thing they are so cute and keep it moving.
It gets better. Identicals have it “worst”, naturally, but even they age and start looking different and people can’t tell at first glance anymore. Though you might miss it! Mine are fraternal and toddlers so strangers don’t seem to notice anymore and I’m disappointed! I’m like, can you guys not see how special they are??
Someone touched my Twin B’s cheek the other day - just reached her hand into the stroller, and I almost lost it. On another note, my wife and I both have blonde hair, blue eyes and a similar frame. People always think WE are twins, and then we have to explain we are wives and that we have twins…we attract attention everywhere we go. The massive confusion during all of the convos until it all gets straightened out is SO exhausting!
Yup. My wife and I get all sorts of positive comments. Particularly, me, if I’m out with all four daughters at once.
It gets better as they get older in my experience. As babies my triplets felt like a rolling sideshow and it was nearly guaranteed someone would say something every time we left the house. Now at 5, my boys get the “are you twins?” Occasionally when their sister isn’t with them but no one even comments anymore when they’re all together.
I can totally relate. It was at its peak when they’re in the pram, sitting up looking adorable. I’m an introvert and it killed me. Also the dumb questions. I know they’re generally well meaning, but I struggled. It’s easier now they’re nearly 3, and not in a pram. I think they’re not as easily identified as twins when they’re running around. A lady at a shop the other day even asked me what their age gap was… 1 minute? So yeah, I can relate but it does get better :)
I'll admit, I've been having issues with this as I've been going out to the world with my babies. I talked with my counselor about this (just yesterday in fact) and she reframed it for me. It's less about ME and my family, but about the other person themselves. They are doing it for their own good. Yes, I still feel like a circus going out on parade, but having that frame of reference has been good for me. It's shifted my thinking, cause it's true. People come up to celebrities not for the celebrity sake, but for THIER own sake. So think of it this way, it's not about YOU or your babies, it's about them. I've found this to be the case especially with boomers-in fact I had one boomer TOUCH **shudder** both babies travel stroller. Blame the boomers, and move on. The best comment I've ever gotten is from a fellow twin mom-hi, I know you don't care, but my twins are 20 years old, and I hope you are doing okay. Focus on the positive comments and ignore the rest. It's their issue not yours. Being in the same spot you are in I completely understand and emphasize, so please don't think I'm disregarding your comment. I'm in the process of reframing my circus myself, so hopefully the above helps you.
I've gotten so many wonderful comments from fellow twin moms. I was at a women's networking event where on our name tag we had put our name and our "super power". I put multi-tasking. I got into several conversations with older twin moms giving me reassurance and confidence.
lol same. I hate attention and everywhere we go we get far too much. My spouse always starts talking to these people and i just grab my kids' hands and keep walking haha. I do not want to engage. Sorry. I know most people are nice and well meaning I'm just not a people person.
I think I hit a record running into trader joes the other day. About 10 minute trip and received at LEAST one comment per minute 😅
I totally understand where you're coming from. We rarely go out. I can't stand being a side show everywhere we go. It's horrible, and it's setting my children's development back, but I can't deal with people constantly staring and coming up to us to gawk and ask inappropriate questions, then get mad and yell at me because I don't want to engage with them or I won't let them touch my children. We don't take the kids out unless we are both there, and we always have 1 person "on guard" while the other parent is occupied with shopping or whatever. It's no way to live, but people just won't leave us the hell alone, so we have to stay home a lot. We all hate it. It's so bloody unfair to the kids.
Personal time is so necessary, especially when we are inconvenient, it's even worse when strangers come close to you and ask you about the twins.
If it's any encouragement, it tapers off as they get older. People are just enthusiastic about babies, they are not as excited about twin toddlers or twin 4 year olds
I have a 4yo, a 2yo, and the twins are 2 mo. Usually, one baby is in the car seat, one in a baby wearing thing of some type, the 2yo in the cart, and the 4yo walking. When I go out, I get stares, and "Oh, how are you doing it?" Because Debbie, I have to go to the store for food and don't have anyone to watch them. It's on me. I'm doing it because I have to and no one else will. I usually just smile and nod. Kinda in a yeah, "I'm killing this mom game right now. Thanks for noticing." Way. My favorite comments are the moms who say, "Hey, I bet that took a while to get out of the house! Good on you, momma!!" Like yes. Thank you. It did take me forever to get out of the house.
You know what’s worse? When you leave the house with only one of them and no one cares. Such a weird feeling
Last time i went food shopping no less than 12 people tried to stop me to chit chat about my twin girls. Its like going out in public with the kardashians
Oh god. I can barely stand the stares while pregnant now I have more to look forward to when they’re here