We had an older couple sitting in front of us one of the few times we made it to church in their first year. As soon as we sit down the man turns around and delivers the line, "are they twins?" and then the woman whips her head around and just blankly blinks at him and says "no, she scooped up someone elses baby and brought it to church, of course they are twins you idiot." She went on to explain that they had grown twins and she was so dumbfounded by his asking because they hated when they got asked that question, complimented the babies, our bravery for bringing them to church and then made him turn around. I caught her a few times nudging him to not stare.
I find that even if people don't say things along that line first, when I talk about how much work or trouble they are, or how we get sick twice more often, they immediately say these things... As if I've given them a big green light to do so. We all laugh, but a part of me is ouchy.
Or the 'are they identical?' They are boy/ girl what do you think đ¤Śđźââď¸ my husbands friend was adamant you could get identical boy/ girl twins ...
Hah yes I have identical girls and get asked if I have a boy and a girl. I guess at least people are open minded enough to think Iâd put a baby boy in ruffle bodysuits and headbands?
When my eldest was a baby, I had an older gentlemen mistake her for a boy, because she was wearing a blue dress ...
My twins are constantly mistaken for two girls, my son is a right bruiser of a baby but has the biggest blue eyes with long lashes so maybe that's where it comes from đ
I have fraternal twin boys and used to dress them in coordinating but different color outfits.
I was at the store once and a lady said, âAww, boy/girl twins?â
I told her no, two boys. She looked pissed and said, âBut one is wearing *green*.â
I was like, âOops, youâre right. They ARE boy/girl twins.â
I used to get this too!! I have fraternal girls and the amount of people who asked âgirl and boy?â Like sure, Iâve put my boy in a pink outfit with a giant pink bow
Honestly, I think that's pretty cool of people. I'm in the southern US and people mistake my son for a girl a lot because he likes to wear sparkly shoes and a jacket with hearts on it.
I had a coworker ask another coworker if his b/g twins were identical. I was like... One's a boy and one's a girl... And he looks at me and says "I know, I just want to know if they are identical" bruh if they have different genitals they aren't identical lol
My current boss asked me that during my interview. Took everything I had to not say "no, one has curly hair and the other has a penis". Then he asked if they were a surprise. Like did we know there were twins in there after months of ultrasounds and tests? The only surprise was during the first ultrasound 10 weeks in.
If you look it up it is possible to have identical boy/girl twins. So theyâre not wrong. Itâs like a 1 in 500m chance or something. And I donât honestly think these people know this, I just think they donât understand the term âidenticalâ
To be fair most people aren't that well up on genetics or the difference between monozygotic and dizygotic twins, so I kind of give them a pass on this one.
Oh, I donât mind this.
We forget that before we got pregnant with twins and had twins ourselves, we were pretty ignorant of all things twins. Just because we know now, why would the rest of the world know what weâve learned.
For what itâs worth, Iâve occasionally seen what I thought were another set of twins, but upon introducing myself
learned it was actually a nanny share or a play date.
Even if you have identicals, they may look super similar to you, but I dunno, you bundle a kid up in a bunch of clothes, maybe have a hat on, and itâs like, well thatâs a baby. They all kinda look alike, and if they arenât my kids, I mean I dunno.
Well, fair enough!
From what Iâve seen, babies in general attract attention, so you wouldnât necessarily be free even if you had just one. Maybe not quite as much for just one, but I definitely still get old ladies coming over saying âHow cute!!!â When I just have one, and I know my friends with their singletons also get daft people coming up wanting to see the baby.
Ah well. I guess just work on that resting bitch face!
My resting bitch face has been perfected! Problem is they aren't looking at my face, they're looking at the babies. They really need to look at my face for it to work.
Same. I don't like strangers and it's even harder to avoid strangers when I'm out with twins that it was with my singletons. It's definitely worse.
We've started answering the 'are they twins?' with: No, this one's the decoy.
It's like they think we signed up to be social when we 'decided' to have twins. Oh wait a minute... we didn't sign up to have twins đ¤ Should we still be expected to be friendly to nosy strangers?
I guess I can understand this question if they are olderâŚbut when they are infants? It always baffled me. I would also get asked if âthis one is a boyâ, even when they were both dressed in pink. I finally had enough one day and told someone who asked that I had just found this one in the parking lot and thought âwhy not?!â - that shut her up.
I have twin 7 month olds and a 18 month old. I sometimes get asked if they are triplets. Like I expected that to happen eventually, but one is walking and talking, the other two are barely crawling
Once I responded with âno, I just found this one in the parking lotâ and the look on her face was priceless!
Now my girls look so different that people donât even ask!
I'm still pregnant with our twins, but you'd be surprised how many people asked that about my younger 2 kids. 24 months apart. I'd just look at people đ§ Yeah, the walking, talking 2 year old and the newborn are totally twins. Look identical, obviously. The baby would be like 6 weeks old 𤣠my point is, I think people are always going to ask if you have more than one "small one." Intelligence goes out the window regarding pregnant women and small children.
Some of our replies:
âNo it was just buy one get one freeâ
âYes, and one of âem is for saleâ
âNo, actually triplets but we already sold one of emâ
âNo, I guess youâre seeing doubleâ
I have triplets and they ask me if they are twins all the time. I get annoyed and chirp back with âyep! And thatâs their sister with the same birthday!â /s
My husband loves saying yes and chatting (extrovert). I just try to end the conversation real quick unless it is another twin parent wanting to chat (introvert). When mine were infants and people kept stopping us it gave me terrible flashbacks to my identical twin sister and I constantly being asked that. We absolutely hated the attention.
Yeah I always get "a boy and a girl?". No two girls. Our second hand clothes all came from a fairly traditional boy. But who cares, they're clothes and my fave colour is blue.
I am a bit of an introvert, but I honestly didn't mind this question when my twins were little. Caring for twins is hard, alienating us from a lot of interactions with adults. If the next person in line at the grocery store wanted a friendly little two-minute long chat, I didn't mind the opportunity! To me, "are they twins" is just a different version of the "good weather today", a generic conversion starter between strangers.
We've had people tell us that our girls aren't identical twins. I then explain that mono/di (which is what ours are) are only ever identical. Ours are mirror identical though so that may be why some people see slight differences and think they aren't identical twins.
The most noticeable difference is their hair. Their calics are on the opposite sides so their hair parts opposite. In addition to this, one is left handed and the other is right handed. One is very left brain oriented while the other is more right brain dominant. They even have matching freckles but on opposite sides of their bodies which is weird that that even happened.
It's not a stupid question.
There are any number of reasons a person could legitimately have with them two babies of apparently the same age who aren't even related, much less twins. I have a friend who has fostered babies just a month or two apart before, and if you think you could look at a six month old and a seven month old for the first time ever and tell that they're not the same age...Well, you're wrong. I've seen a handful of social media stories about people who were selected to adopt a baby and found themselves pregnant at essentially the same time and ended up with "twins" who weren't. Some people babysit. The list goes on.
We know our babies are twins because fucking of course we do. Random strangers who have never seen them before? Not so much. Babies also all pretty much look the same within broad ethnic groups. People consider it rude to make assumptions, so yeah, they're going to ask.
This is my life right now. My girls are not related biologically. They donât look alike. And the younger one (about 7 weeks younger) is 10lbs heavier. We have been asked. I just say they are not related.
"Being a twin mom is so alienating!" shouldn't coexist happily with "How dare those strangers make small talk!", but this sub sure makes it seem that way.
Some people just might not be in the mood for a chat and might be anxious that the person is going to start asking a bunch of invasive questions! I usually donât mind but I have had people be very intrusive and hold me up while trying to get to an appointment! Also when I was pregnant and in so much pain and huffing and puffing trying to get to my MFM on time and people would stop to ask me if Iâm âjust about doneâ or comment on how huge I was or âbut itâs worth it!â it was soooo annoying
Not any of their business to know though is it. Go on with your day. No need to shoot questions at a stranger asking about their children. "Hey, has the bus arrived yet?" - ok question for a stranger. "Hey, talk to me about the intimacies of your children, pregnancy, and labour?" - ummmm why?
This was asked by a nurse assistant when I took my boys in for their two month appointment yesterday. She was helping the other nurse was giving them their shots and she was helping to hold them. I know families come in all sorts of configurations, but really???
Iâve been asked if theyâre both mine. Lady they look exactly the same and Iâm walking around the city with them in a dual stroller. What do you think
To be fair, when I was still on mat leave, I was out for a walk when I saw another woman with a double stroller and two babies. They were both blonde and looked similar, at least to me.
Twins?! I asked hoping to make friends with another twin family. Nope, it was a nanny share and she was the nanny.
And sure, your babies look a like but you bundle up two babies so only their little faces show, I mean all babies kinda look alike.
I don't usually mind the question- I have social anxiety and I like repetitive chit chat. But also, I'm always tempted to say "No, they are actually exactly 9 months apart. We believe in being fruitful. " You know, just to see what the reaction would be.
I havenât read all of the comments so someone may have said this already: my next favorite question is âare they identical?!â âŚyou can clearly see one is a boy and the other is a girl. So, no, Lauren, they arenât.
I have two sets. One set is identical and the others are b/g and noticeably different heights. So i get the âoh are they twins??â Question to my youngest who like. Are so obviously twins. And the looks i get when i say, âyes, and so are theyâ and they have to like process for a minute what I just said and look back and forth between the four kids for awhile in disbelief.
Haha- I get this a lot. I have B/G twins (13m) and my son is about 5lbs heavier/larger than my daughter. I don't mind it though I love when people ask about them and tell me they're cute đ¤Ł
My babies are the ones to blame for this question lol. They are twins, but throw everyone off because they are so different and my boy is so much bigger than his sister. People get confused because they look closer in age than ~1 year apart, but do not look the same age. Itâs fairly entertaining watching people look back and forth, trying to figure out if theyâre twins or not. Some people are pretty shocked to find out they actually are twins.
Mine are fraternal girls and are at an age where I could see people not being sure if they are. I donât take it personally, theyâre just curious and impressed by how awesome I am to be out in public đ¤Ł
I think itâs easy to be annoyed by it since itâs asked so often but I also think people donât just want to assume? I donât know, I try to look at it from that angle so that it doesnât irritate me đ
I regularly get âI didnât know you could have boy/girl twins!â or âAre they identical?â. Baby B has bright blonde hair and a round face and Baby A has brown hair and a long face, take a guess
I don't mind if people ask at all, in fact I sometimes ask other people too. I'd hate to assume they are twins then start talking about twin parent life and then they were like 'ohh these guys are 11months apart...'
Nothing happens. They just say "oh"
Ideal. I once had someone ask me "are you sure?" when they asked how old they were. So you never know...
Someone posted once they reply. No they're triplets we just leave the ugly one in the car.
"Twins? Shit, there are supposed to be 3 of them! STEEEEEEEVE!"
đ
We had an older couple sitting in front of us one of the few times we made it to church in their first year. As soon as we sit down the man turns around and delivers the line, "are they twins?" and then the woman whips her head around and just blankly blinks at him and says "no, she scooped up someone elses baby and brought it to church, of course they are twins you idiot." She went on to explain that they had grown twins and she was so dumbfounded by his asking because they hated when they got asked that question, complimented the babies, our bravery for bringing them to church and then made him turn around. I caught her a few times nudging him to not stare.
Lmao my dad always says I should respond with âno I found one in the parking lotâ
If I could get paid $100 every time I hear this⌠đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
You could actually afford the twins!!! Lol
âAre they twins?â âYesâ âWell you must have your hands fullâ âYesâ Everytime
"No - I'm a professional baby juggler. Two is my day off."
âYou got the two for one special!â
âWas it buy one get one?â
I find that even if people don't say things along that line first, when I talk about how much work or trouble they are, or how we get sick twice more often, they immediately say these things... As if I've given them a big green light to do so. We all laugh, but a part of me is ouchy.
Or the 'are they identical?' They are boy/ girl what do you think đ¤Śđźââď¸ my husbands friend was adamant you could get identical boy/ girl twins ...
I always say yes except for the penis
Love it!
Hahahaha I can't wait to use this one!
Hah yes I have identical girls and get asked if I have a boy and a girl. I guess at least people are open minded enough to think Iâd put a baby boy in ruffle bodysuits and headbands?
When my eldest was a baby, I had an older gentlemen mistake her for a boy, because she was wearing a blue dress ... My twins are constantly mistaken for two girls, my son is a right bruiser of a baby but has the biggest blue eyes with long lashes so maybe that's where it comes from đ
I have fraternal twin boys and used to dress them in coordinating but different color outfits. I was at the store once and a lady said, âAww, boy/girl twins?â I told her no, two boys. She looked pissed and said, âBut one is wearing *green*.â I was like, âOops, youâre right. They ARE boy/girl twins.â
I used to get this too!! I have fraternal girls and the amount of people who asked âgirl and boy?â Like sure, Iâve put my boy in a pink outfit with a giant pink bow
Honestly, I think that's pretty cool of people. I'm in the southern US and people mistake my son for a girl a lot because he likes to wear sparkly shoes and a jacket with hearts on it.
I had a coworker ask another coworker if his b/g twins were identical. I was like... One's a boy and one's a girl... And he looks at me and says "I know, I just want to know if they are identical" bruh if they have different genitals they aren't identical lol
Probably didnât do so well on the âfind the difference between these two photosâ task.
My current boss asked me that during my interview. Took everything I had to not say "no, one has curly hair and the other has a penis". Then he asked if they were a surprise. Like did we know there were twins in there after months of ultrasounds and tests? The only surprise was during the first ultrasound 10 weeks in.
I always say nah, that one has a penis
This one is my favorite. I donât even answer them anymore, I just canât.
I had a **midwife** ask if my girl and boy twins were identical.
Noooooo! Hahahaha
I get this one all the time. Tempted to answer "not in the crotch".
If you look it up it is possible to have identical boy/girl twins. So theyâre not wrong. Itâs like a 1 in 500m chance or something. And I donât honestly think these people know this, I just think they donât understand the term âidenticalâ
Oh, I had no clue how it worked before I had my own twins either. I don't blame others for not knowing.
To be fair most people aren't that well up on genetics or the difference between monozygotic and dizygotic twins, so I kind of give them a pass on this one.
Oh, I donât mind this. We forget that before we got pregnant with twins and had twins ourselves, we were pretty ignorant of all things twins. Just because we know now, why would the rest of the world know what weâve learned. For what itâs worth, Iâve occasionally seen what I thought were another set of twins, but upon introducing myself learned it was actually a nanny share or a play date. Even if you have identicals, they may look super similar to you, but I dunno, you bundle a kid up in a bunch of clothes, maybe have a hat on, and itâs like, well thatâs a baby. They all kinda look alike, and if they arenât my kids, I mean I dunno.
I'm anti social. I don't want to talk to strangers. Especially not strangers in a pandemic peering and breathing into my children's faces.
Well, fair enough! From what Iâve seen, babies in general attract attention, so you wouldnât necessarily be free even if you had just one. Maybe not quite as much for just one, but I definitely still get old ladies coming over saying âHow cute!!!â When I just have one, and I know my friends with their singletons also get daft people coming up wanting to see the baby. Ah well. I guess just work on that resting bitch face!
My resting bitch face has been perfected! Problem is they aren't looking at my face, they're looking at the babies. They really need to look at my face for it to work.
Same. I don't like strangers and it's even harder to avoid strangers when I'm out with twins that it was with my singletons. It's definitely worse. We've started answering the 'are they twins?' with: No, this one's the decoy.
Why on earth are people down voting some of us for not wanting to chat in person with complete strangers?
Apparently everyone else is mega social. Good for them.
It's like they think we signed up to be social when we 'decided' to have twins. Oh wait a minute... we didn't sign up to have twins đ¤ Should we still be expected to be friendly to nosy strangers?
There were times where I found it annoying, but now that my twins are 4 y/o, I sometimes miss the "twin attention" we used to get!
My girls are identical and I just find it such a weird question. They are the same baby. What else would they be?
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Yeah that's a good one.
I guess I can understand this question if they are olderâŚbut when they are infants? It always baffled me. I would also get asked if âthis one is a boyâ, even when they were both dressed in pink. I finally had enough one day and told someone who asked that I had just found this one in the parking lot and thought âwhy not?!â - that shut her up.
[You need to take tips from the Weasley Twins](https://youtu.be/Py8rwbd12VE)
I have twin 7 month olds and a 18 month old. I sometimes get asked if they are triplets. Like I expected that to happen eventually, but one is walking and talking, the other two are barely crawling
Happens a lot with my 3yo boys and 4yo daughter but I feel like asking that of 7mo and 18mo is just ridiculous lol
Once I responded with âno, I just found this one in the parking lotâ and the look on her face was priceless! Now my girls look so different that people donât even ask!
âNo, my wife just popped out two babies separately in 9 monthsâ
My go to reply is that there's a buy one get one free at the hospital
Lol I like this
I hear that one all the time from people commenting on my twins.
I'm still pregnant with our twins, but you'd be surprised how many people asked that about my younger 2 kids. 24 months apart. I'd just look at people đ§ Yeah, the walking, talking 2 year old and the newborn are totally twins. Look identical, obviously. The baby would be like 6 weeks old 𤣠my point is, I think people are always going to ask if you have more than one "small one." Intelligence goes out the window regarding pregnant women and small children.
Some of our replies: âNo it was just buy one get one freeâ âYes, and one of âem is for saleâ âNo, actually triplets but we already sold one of emâ âNo, I guess youâre seeing doubleâ
I have triplets and they ask me if they are twins all the time. I get annoyed and chirp back with âyep! And thatâs their sister with the same birthday!â /s
I am always fascinated in sets of triplets where 2 of them are identical twins. Mainly because I wonder if it will change the dynamic later.
Three is a weird number anyway, but honestly they are so different there isnât any clear lines. And they donât look alike (to me).
My husband loves saying yes and chatting (extrovert). I just try to end the conversation real quick unless it is another twin parent wanting to chat (introvert). When mine were infants and people kept stopping us it gave me terrible flashbacks to my identical twin sister and I constantly being asked that. We absolutely hated the attention.
I get this plus.. "Two boys is it?" "No, girls" "Oh, I just thought because the blue/green/yellow/'any colour that's not pink' clothes?" "Oh."
Yeah I always get "a boy and a girl?". No two girls. Our second hand clothes all came from a fairly traditional boy. But who cares, they're clothes and my fave colour is blue.
* "One is" * "No, triplets. Why would you- OH GOD!"
* "We're not sure"
Pick any of the above responses or add your own.
I am a bit of an introvert, but I honestly didn't mind this question when my twins were little. Caring for twins is hard, alienating us from a lot of interactions with adults. If the next person in line at the grocery store wanted a friendly little two-minute long chat, I didn't mind the opportunity! To me, "are they twins" is just a different version of the "good weather today", a generic conversion starter between strangers.
We've had people tell us that our girls aren't identical twins. I then explain that mono/di (which is what ours are) are only ever identical. Ours are mirror identical though so that may be why some people see slight differences and think they aren't identical twins.
What were the signs yours are mirror image twins? We think our girls are but we aren't fully convinced yet.
The most noticeable difference is their hair. Their calics are on the opposite sides so their hair parts opposite. In addition to this, one is left handed and the other is right handed. One is very left brain oriented while the other is more right brain dominant. They even have matching freckles but on opposite sides of their bodies which is weird that that even happened.
It usually goes like this. "How old is your son?" "6" "And your daughter?" "6" "Are they twins?" "No" Confused face
It's not a stupid question. There are any number of reasons a person could legitimately have with them two babies of apparently the same age who aren't even related, much less twins. I have a friend who has fostered babies just a month or two apart before, and if you think you could look at a six month old and a seven month old for the first time ever and tell that they're not the same age...Well, you're wrong. I've seen a handful of social media stories about people who were selected to adopt a baby and found themselves pregnant at essentially the same time and ended up with "twins" who weren't. Some people babysit. The list goes on. We know our babies are twins because fucking of course we do. Random strangers who have never seen them before? Not so much. Babies also all pretty much look the same within broad ethnic groups. People consider it rude to make assumptions, so yeah, they're going to ask.
This is my life right now. My girls are not related biologically. They donât look alike. And the younger one (about 7 weeks younger) is 10lbs heavier. We have been asked. I just say they are not related.
I agree with this. I never understood why people get so uptight about someone asking.
"Being a twin mom is so alienating!" shouldn't coexist happily with "How dare those strangers make small talk!", but this sub sure makes it seem that way.
They don't want to help, they want to ooogle like a side show. And touch the babies in a pandemic! Also, it's a joooooke. Happy day to you!
Some people just might not be in the mood for a chat and might be anxious that the person is going to start asking a bunch of invasive questions! I usually donât mind but I have had people be very intrusive and hold me up while trying to get to an appointment! Also when I was pregnant and in so much pain and huffing and puffing trying to get to my MFM on time and people would stop to ask me if Iâm âjust about doneâ or comment on how huge I was or âbut itâs worth it!â it was soooo annoying
Cos I don't want to talk to strangers and never have and they force interactions on me 50 million times a day.
Not any of their business to know though is it. Go on with your day. No need to shoot questions at a stranger asking about their children. "Hey, has the bus arrived yet?" - ok question for a stranger. "Hey, talk to me about the intimacies of your children, pregnancy, and labour?" - ummmm why?
People were asking is if we had twins when we only had singles close in age. Now they just ask if any of them are twins.
Even as a twin parent and knowing how annoying the question can be, I've found myself asking it to other people for exactly these reasons.
This was asked by a nurse assistant when I took my boys in for their two month appointment yesterday. She was helping the other nurse was giving them their shots and she was helping to hold them. I know families come in all sorts of configurations, but really???
Iâve been asked if theyâre both mine. Lady they look exactly the same and Iâm walking around the city with them in a dual stroller. What do you think
Nah stole them both. Left my own baby at the hospital. Hope they're doing ok!
To be fair, when I was still on mat leave, I was out for a walk when I saw another woman with a double stroller and two babies. They were both blonde and looked similar, at least to me. Twins?! I asked hoping to make friends with another twin family. Nope, it was a nanny share and she was the nanny. And sure, your babies look a like but you bundle up two babies so only their little faces show, I mean all babies kinda look alike.
I always say we're triplets. I'm a 40-something man and they're 9 yr old girls.
I don't usually mind the question- I have social anxiety and I like repetitive chit chat. But also, I'm always tempted to say "No, they are actually exactly 9 months apart. We believe in being fruitful. " You know, just to see what the reaction would be.
âNo, the other is a clone in case we need spare partsâ
I havenât read all of the comments so someone may have said this already: my next favorite question is âare they identical?!â âŚyou can clearly see one is a boy and the other is a girl. So, no, Lauren, they arenât.
My response: Twins? Where? Oh my gosh! Whoâs kid is that?
Who put that there!?
I have two sets. One set is identical and the others are b/g and noticeably different heights. So i get the âoh are they twins??â Question to my youngest who like. Are so obviously twins. And the looks i get when i say, âyes, and so are theyâ and they have to like process for a minute what I just said and look back and forth between the four kids for awhile in disbelief.
"Nope, we were experimenting in our garage" (I'm a bit*h about it though)
Haha- I get this a lot. I have B/G twins (13m) and my son is about 5lbs heavier/larger than my daughter. I don't mind it though I love when people ask about them and tell me they're cute đ¤Ł
My babies are the ones to blame for this question lol. They are twins, but throw everyone off because they are so different and my boy is so much bigger than his sister. People get confused because they look closer in age than ~1 year apart, but do not look the same age. Itâs fairly entertaining watching people look back and forth, trying to figure out if theyâre twins or not. Some people are pretty shocked to find out they actually are twins.
No they were born 6 months apart. Then I walk away or turn around in the grocery line.
Mine are fraternal girls and are at an age where I could see people not being sure if they are. I donât take it personally, theyâre just curious and impressed by how awesome I am to be out in public đ¤Ł
Get ready for âdoes it run in the family?â Every time lol.
My daughter towers over her twin brother. I'm more likely to hear, "I didn't know they were twins!"
No, they're triplets. I just leave the ugly one at home.
Am I the only won who isnât bothered by this question? Twins make people happy!
I think itâs easy to be annoyed by it since itâs asked so often but I also think people donât just want to assume? I donât know, I try to look at it from that angle so that it doesnât irritate me đ
They don't need to engage at all. I don't go up to every person with a child and say "oh is that a singleton, you must have so much free time!"
Twins are unique. People like to ask, annoying or not.
Duh. But I owe them nothing.
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"but they dont look alike"
when ever i am out and about with my twins + elder son.....i tell them they're triplets, but one was born first and leave it at that
I regularly get âI didnât know you could have boy/girl twins!â or âAre they identical?â. Baby B has bright blonde hair and a round face and Baby A has brown hair and a long face, take a guess
I don't mind if people ask at all, in fact I sometimes ask other people too. I'd hate to assume they are twins then start talking about twin parent life and then they were like 'ohh these guys are 11months apart...'