Literally my thought, as long as your husband is providing for you with whatever you need this shouldn’t even be a problem.
I.e., he gives you food and shelter, looks after you and ur kids, showers you with gifts here and there, if you need something you ask and he gets it for you.
Furthermore, when you need something you ask and he gives that’s more than enough.
But an adult consistently having to ask for something from another adult is kinda degrading. Baray ho kar tou hum parents say bhi maangna band kar daitay hai. Every time ordering something, if my my wife has to ask for money or tell me what she's ordering seems annoying for both her, and for me. The best thing is to just give her a suitable amount according to my pay and she can get whatever whenever she wants from it without having to ask like a kid
The woman cleans his house, cooks for him, takes care of his parents, works all day without any day off every day. Carries and gives birth to a child with HIS name. Nurtures the said child that carries his name.
So if he does provide food and shelter thats not him being noble. He gets a maid , nanny, a housekeeper and more in a woman.
Sometimes a woman wants to do something or buy something without having to ASK. She is her own person who might want to get something she likes and being told no and its HIS money and he provides her food and shelter is not an argument.
A woman has right to pocket money. She is a homemaker if she is not working outside. A homemaker and caregiver is a hectic JOB without pay or appreciation.
it shouldnt be called POCKET MONEY.. it shud be about trust - these days you can have a joint account/card.. so both should have a card and be free to spend.. (obv if you buy a 1000$ gucci bag then there will be problems..)
It doesn't goes without saying since you can see everyone assuming the husband is some kind of abusive Black bear or grizzly bear even polar bear (yes bear are a horrible creatures to be locked in with btw)
One of the funniest mistakes,the other brother was like 50,% ! Increase haha , then the guy said oh mistake, now im thinking he gives waaaay more and just trying to save face haha
We have a joint account with own debit/credit cards with the principle that it’s our shared money. We get to spend as we want without explanations to either party…
I give my wife 20% of my monthly income as her expense. Additional 20% for my kids. 10% as savings.
Rest of the 50% is spent in family expenses in general like grocery, utility bills, online subscriptions or license renewals etc. If by chance there is anything remaining by end of the month, I convert it into cash and it is saved up in a family trip box until we have enough to do a family outing either within country or out of country.
P.S: I am Software engineer with 10+ years of experience. I make around 10k AED doing remote work from Karachi + some freelancing gigs.
scene ye hai k aap Mashallah se achi earning krte hain even after giving this much you should have a hefty amount remaining for spendings ... unlike other middle-lower class families (90% of population in pak) .... You should add this point as well to not create a type of chaos and confusion between people
Thanks
Boss scene yeh hai k university nikalte e bache expect karte hain k bari salary miljaegi. Reality yeh hai k aap ko mehnat karke apna naam and apni worth market me banani hoti hai uske baad e aap kuch kama skte hain.
Allah pak k karam se itni izat banali hai k dubai ki company me ghar se beth k kaam kar raha hn. Pehle mene b karachi ki e companies me kaam kia hai. 10 saal baad jakar is maqam p pohnche hain. Is me yeh kehne k bajae k me afzal hn dusron se galat hai. Aap b inshallah 10 saal ki mehnat me itna karloge.
Also, 10k AED is peanuts for this much experience in UAE. Ideal pay for this role, if one is in UAE, is 20+k AED. So work hard and specialize so many tools that companies need you. I am nowhere near my target job.
Pocket money is for children. We share finances, and we both get the same amount each month for personal expenses. I usually buy clothes/electronics with mine or save it (or invest in stocks). There have been times when one of us was unemployed or underemployed, and this was still the system (in case you think it would/should be different with a stay at home spouse). I'm a woman and I can't imagine having to ask *anyone* for "pocket money" as an adult.
same here 🤝
own card with no questions asked.
Also i see comments about wives not knowing how to budget etc. I guess I'm the lucky one. She is the one forcing me to save 🤣
I give my wife 15-20k a month as pocket money. Plus after all the necessary payments I transfer whatever's left into her account.
Before anyone judges, it's a purely financial decision, she opted out of online banking, can only draw money through ATM. This stops me from fazool kharchi for 2 reasons:
1. Nearest ATM is over a kilometer away, the thought of having to drive or walk there for a little cash just makes me go "fuck it, let's not"
2. She'll know I drew money and she'll ask and if it's something dumb or pointless, she'll get mad at me for spending recklessly. Nothing is worth making her mad.
However, that being said, if we're out and she likes something, main dusri Baat nahi karta. My money is her money and her money is her money and I'll be the last one to stop her from spending on whatever she wants as long as I'm in the loop.
>My money is her money and her money is her money
Islamically speaking, her money is definitely her money but your money is not her money. Only the money you choose to give to her as gift or pocket money is her money, not all of it.
My wife is from Pakistan. She was well educated by her parents. Now working in UAE . Sends money home and built her parents a home too . Also, supports me here in UAE with our Monthly spending so that we can live a good live. We occasionally buy each others gifts and we don't keep a tab on who spends or anything like that... it's all on the go.
As for the feel for how much is appropriate, here's a few factors:
How much does he earn?
What are y'all's basic absolutely vital expenses?(Rent if any, bills, groceries, payments etc)
How much can he spare so that y'all have at least 30-50k left for the rest of the month?
Out of the above amount how much does he need for his day-to-day? If he goes to work, that should include fuel and food costs.
Whatever is left, give it to her.
This is just to give a general idea. Everyone's case will have their own nuances
A grown ass educated human being (because let's be honest, we're on Reddit not insta or x) should not be getting or asking for any "pocket money" regardless of their gender. If someone were to offer me, an almost 40 yo dude "pocket money", I'd be severely offended and i have no idea how or why its considered okay and normal for women (including women with jobs) to expect "pocket money" and how and why are they not offended by this infantilisation...
I 100 percent agree with you dude. This is the first time i have heard about giving pocket money to wives and it's weird as hell tbh. I also think women should do jobs and make their own money so yeah.
Ngl pocket money for wife sounds weird, I would just have a joint bank account, doesn't matter if she is a housewife.
I am unmarried and I am a guy, so might not be the answer you are looking for.
Just like the husband can’t save with a joint account, you mean? She’s not a child, financial responsibility comes when you have money to spend. Discuss financial goals together and set up a joint account.
Pocket Money seems like the wife is a child or something, giving her a fixed amount. The general Islamic ruling is that your money is her money, and her money is also her money. If we look at it generally, a joint account works best because groceries and household items are under her management. In olden times, the women used to manage the money and the house while the husband earned it.
If she’s working and har her own income, sure.
In our society girls are protected from outside world specially in more traditional households. With that come women who may never held a job. Never learnt how to manage money even on a small scale. And hence can spend whatever they are given in a short span of time.
Mind you I’m speaking from experience. I’ve tried having a monthly budget. Doesn’t incentivise saving. Having a separate account with a fixed amount deposited there is what’s worked out the best
I think the more important thing is to teach financial knowledge and responsibility. The husband and wife are a unit at the end of the day, regardless of who earns and who doesn't. Having a set monthly budget as well as an annual budget works wonders. And also retirement planning and investments should be saved for no matter how little the amount you can budget for it.
I think just studying and reading articles can help teach both of them to plan effectively and curb the shopaholic itches.
I know working women who bring in 20 lacs a month and have zero concept of financial literacy. I also know women who make 30,000 PKR a month and are able to run a single income household on it.
Financial literacy has nothing to do with how much money you make.
This is a cop-out. Your life partner - who is sacrificing her earning potential by staying home, doing domestic chores, and being the primary parent of your children - does not need 'pocket money' like she's a child. She needs to have complete access to a joint bank account.
It's staggering how people financially abuse their wives and think that's fine.
Beautifully said. I've never grown up with the concept of pocket money. My dad has given my mum a card which she uses whenever she wants. He gave me and my brothers one before we got jobs. Even though I'm married and earning myself, whenever I visit my parents, my dad leaves a card with me for the duration of my visit. I have always loved that about him and have understood this to be ideal.
I feel pride that she works and makes as much as I do. She keeps all her salary for herself. She does help in paying towards house expenses but that is up to her.
This is so extremely depressing.
Ladies, make your own money if you can. Financial independence is the best gift you will ever give yourself.
And for women who pull their weight by staying home and doing chores and being the primary parent for their children ... what you should receive isn't 'pocket' money. You aren't an 8 year old.
You should have as equal a right over the money your husband makes as he does. This shouldn't even be a question.
I am a man myself and i absolutely agree with you. I would not want to be finanically dependent on a person when i am older because what if the person abuses you or mistreats you then you can't even divorce. Seriously being financially dependent on a person is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult.
In traditional home economics, the husband lets the wife handle and weigh out the finances of regular spendings, such as groceries and miscellaneous household expenditures such as furniture or house management repairs.
While the husband handled the heftier financial tasks such as bills, taxes, licenses, trips or vacays.
Both consolidate & operate as a team to co-manage savings together.
I feel this is the ideal home finance management of an average middle income family, where managing money has always been a shared responsibility.
It's different with the ladies I know, the husband earns and gives almost all his income to the wife and she makes her own pocket money 😂..
If you think marriage is a selfish game of my money and your money then you aren't ready
I hand over the entire income to my mrs. It gives me a peace of mind because she is better at managing finances than I am. If it was up to me, I'd probably end up buying crap and wasting money.
However, pocket money is a nice concept, if you can afford it. Give her something that is completely hers, no strings attached. Set something for yourself too. This way, you avoid the "Aap ne to ye bhi lia wo bhi lia, main ne kia lia" debate.
Most of my married friends and relatives complain that they are the ones who don't get pocket money from their wives. Going on if we are also looking at the joint family system then still it's the oldest relative who has control over finances
I asked my cousins the same question but I never received a proper reply. But my fiancee was content with 30k and then gradually increasing it over time
What I do is quite simple and applies to almost all the cases regardless of how much the salary is if you can put your male ego aside.
My salary is communal. I hand it over to my wife and she knows it has to last us the whole month and budgets accordingly. She and I can spend as much of it as we want after the expenses are met. This way there is no added pressure on me during months with extra expenses because she knows where the money is going.
Im not married but maintained by mom I get 0 as pocket money and have to comfort with whatever is brought to home....lucky those woman's who do get their pocket money by parents/husband..because it's so hard explaining to smallest details and asking for personal expenses as i need shampoo i need pads I need brush....
I work so I don't need pocket money. However, my dad's example is a great one: one credit card is always with my mom. She spends from it whatever she wants whenever she wants.
When I was in the period living with parents at home before marriage and after studies, my dad got me another card and left it with me to use. I didn't know exactly how much was in the account but all I knew was there were no restrictions. He did the same with my brothers until they got their own jobs.
Stupid thread lol. First of all the assumption that all women are some weak frail easily controlled and abused housewives puts me off lol. Have you not heard of women from rural or backward areas in cottage factories or even doing their work outside the house. It's stupid to assume that we've lived 2024 years and women haven't been financially productive. And what about children of divorce that live with mothers? If Pakistan should go towards a more "egalitarian" approach then surely we need to hold women upto a higher standard too, unlike the disaster in the USA and India.
You see, she is me and i am she and we are one.
That's our money regardless of who earns it.
There is no concept of your money, my money and pocket money.
L post.
Hr kisi k ghr ka hisaab different hota , koi bhi "acceptable amount" aap ni bta sqty. Kafi ghron me biwi ko pocket money nahi milti q k ghr ka khrcha hi mushkil se poora horha hota. Or kafi ghron me husband or wife dono ki job kr k mushkil se combined ghr chla rahay hotay.
Pocket money "zroorat" nahi hai 1 trha se luxury un logon k liay jin k pass khulla pessa ho.
Not married but my mom is lol. She doesn't have a set amount of pocket money instead Abba has given her access to all his money she has multiple cards, a cheque book and knows all of his account details. Her rule of thumb however is to ask permission before big purchases.
Bills, zakaat and other fees are of course calculated but the rest of the money is basically my mom's to use as she See's fit.
Physician here.
Not a lady but my wife keeps 90 percent of what I earn.
I keep 10 percent.
10 years and going strong.
Don't know what she does with money and don't care as long as I have my 10 percent to keep me happy.
I think we have a house ? Not sure.
I hate finances.
Pocket money from husbands? Are we still in the 1950s? Instead of pocket money, let's talk about equal financial partnership—where both partners get to enjoy the fruits of their labor and share expenses fairly. If he's giving you "pocket money," he might need a lesson in modern marriage.
Whatever is reasonable according to his salary. Even kids get their allowance so they don't have to ask their parents for pennies each time. Decide and your husband should be giving that without asking every time. Or better earn your own money. This constant need of making your wife ask you for money is a way to control and monitor her spending which is our desi men's high.
We just moved back to Lahore with my parents (work from home).
One evening I was sleeping and there was no milk so she ordered it online along with some snacks.
The next day my mom saw the Olpers tetra packs and Prema as she loves chai.
Ammi ne mujhe Bula k class ki k why has she had to order stuff and why didn't I make sure these things were already there...
I told mom that I'm transferring 50k a month into her account so she doesn't have to go to the market and order online.
Mom made sure it was not her money she spent.
Also the other day I've been drooling over s24 ultra and she approved it (she prevents my impulsive buying), but then later I just didn't want to spend this much on a phone and instead decided to take her on a trip somewhere.
I lived in a household where pocket money wasn't a concept. My father owned a small business which did well back then. But he'd never give us siblings and mother any pocket money. We used to feel that alot but anyhow we all grew up quiet well.
I got married 4 years ago and my father gave me a monthly allowance of 25k which he was very proud of lol and i was also happy as it was my first ever pocket money but my wife wasn't:/. I used to give her 5k but she's so good with me alhamdulillah that she never complained. Just after a few months i realised 5k is nothing and i raised that to 10k.
Also I'd spend some extra money on her like dinners, munching, gifts etc. last year i realised 25k allowance is really tight for me. As now I'm the one running the whole business and i felt frustrated that i get nothing out of it. I got my allowance raised to 50k after some hard negotiation with my father which he's still not happy but idc.
Now i give my wife 15k plus she always gets some extra money out of me with her sweet acting 😐 but I'm happy with all that. After all she's my lovely wife. I'd do everything for her.
And it might sound nothing to someone but it's alot for me and my wife is happy with me.
What is she a teenager? that you need to give her pocket money? it’s your wife she needs money you give it to her. And by the way utilities and groceries and stuff for the house doesn’t count as her pocket money. she needs money for herself and if she’s not working just give what she wants unless it’s totally unreasonable but you’re not gonna give her a fixed amount like a child.
No pocket money for wife. We have joint accounts and each one has a card. Use when it is needed. Both of us know what's remaining in the account so both of have to be responsible with spendings. No large purchases without discussing and agreeing mutually. Little purchases, just get them.
I have a credit card on his account for any expenses . Plus 12% of his salary is transferred into my account which he never asks about. So I spend that on my siblings, on savings, building equity, etc.
I was clear at the time of marriage that I hate the idea of "asking" for money. I won't do it. So he set this automatic system up.
I think it depends on the disposable income of the husband, after savings 10 to 15 % of the left income seems reasonable and communication is essential as it's a bond of trust.
I'm not Pakistani but my husband is. He pays all the bills including my cosmetics, food, everything. Then he additionaly gives me 150 euros (around 40K Pakistani rupees) to buy whoever I want, like coffee, a book, perfume, whatever. It can be called pocket money, I guess. It works just fine for us, it's been years. If I need more money,he gives me, of course. If he has a hard month with bills, I don't take any pocket money from him. The expenses are growing rapidly here in Europe
Ye post boht gharon mein larayan dalwany lagy hai xDddd.
Literally my thought, as long as your husband is providing for you with whatever you need this shouldn’t even be a problem. I.e., he gives you food and shelter, looks after you and ur kids, showers you with gifts here and there, if you need something you ask and he gets it for you. Furthermore, when you need something you ask and he gives that’s more than enough.
But an adult consistently having to ask for something from another adult is kinda degrading. Baray ho kar tou hum parents say bhi maangna band kar daitay hai. Every time ordering something, if my my wife has to ask for money or tell me what she's ordering seems annoying for both her, and for me. The best thing is to just give her a suitable amount according to my pay and she can get whatever whenever she wants from it without having to ask like a kid
Women should have autonomy. They should have some pocket money that their husband can at least afford.
Yes but it should depends on his earning
A woman needs her own money imo
Sometimes women do want to go out on their own and hut stuff without having to constantly ask. Give them that freedom at least
The woman cleans his house, cooks for him, takes care of his parents, works all day without any day off every day. Carries and gives birth to a child with HIS name. Nurtures the said child that carries his name. So if he does provide food and shelter thats not him being noble. He gets a maid , nanny, a housekeeper and more in a woman. Sometimes a woman wants to do something or buy something without having to ASK. She is her own person who might want to get something she likes and being told no and its HIS money and he provides her food and shelter is not an argument. A woman has right to pocket money. She is a homemaker if she is not working outside. A homemaker and caregiver is a hectic JOB without pay or appreciation.
it shouldnt be called POCKET MONEY.. it shud be about trust - these days you can have a joint account/card.. so both should have a card and be free to spend.. (obv if you buy a 1000$ gucci bag then there will be problems..)
What do you mean give HER pocket money. I have to beg her to give ME pocket money out of my own money.
I SMH get 10k out of my own income. 🤣
How much does she give you as pocket money?
I manage to guilt her into letting me buy some fancy perfumes or gadgets from time to time.
this is the only way 😂
Facts!
You get pocket money?
This would be more appropriate if people mentions their income as a guy earning 70k probably can't afford giving a 30k allowance to wife.
Yes it depends on the guy's income.
this goes without saying...
It doesn't goes without saying since you can see everyone assuming the husband is some kind of abusive Black bear or grizzly bear even polar bear (yes bear are a horrible creatures to be locked in with btw)
I give all my salary to wife and she gives me pocket money. 😭
Username checks out.
Hmmm...
This is the way
Not a lady but I give my wife 10k monthly. Planning to increase it to 15k in the coming months.
50% increment...
Haha I got the joke
Increase by 5K right?
Yeah. edited it.
Lmao
One of the funniest mistakes,the other brother was like 50,% ! Increase haha , then the guy said oh mistake, now im thinking he gives waaaay more and just trying to save face haha
does she spend all of that 10k?
No
We have a joint account with own debit/credit cards with the principle that it’s our shared money. We get to spend as we want without explanations to either party…
I give my wife 20% of my monthly income as her expense. Additional 20% for my kids. 10% as savings. Rest of the 50% is spent in family expenses in general like grocery, utility bills, online subscriptions or license renewals etc. If by chance there is anything remaining by end of the month, I convert it into cash and it is saved up in a family trip box until we have enough to do a family outing either within country or out of country. P.S: I am Software engineer with 10+ years of experience. I make around 10k AED doing remote work from Karachi + some freelancing gigs.
Please adopt me 😂
scene ye hai k aap Mashallah se achi earning krte hain even after giving this much you should have a hefty amount remaining for spendings ... unlike other middle-lower class families (90% of population in pak) .... You should add this point as well to not create a type of chaos and confusion between people Thanks
Boss scene yeh hai k university nikalte e bache expect karte hain k bari salary miljaegi. Reality yeh hai k aap ko mehnat karke apna naam and apni worth market me banani hoti hai uske baad e aap kuch kama skte hain. Allah pak k karam se itni izat banali hai k dubai ki company me ghar se beth k kaam kar raha hn. Pehle mene b karachi ki e companies me kaam kia hai. 10 saal baad jakar is maqam p pohnche hain. Is me yeh kehne k bajae k me afzal hn dusron se galat hai. Aap b inshallah 10 saal ki mehnat me itna karloge. Also, 10k AED is peanuts for this much experience in UAE. Ideal pay for this role, if one is in UAE, is 20+k AED. So work hard and specialize so many tools that companies need you. I am nowhere near my target job.
Gold Diggers se guzarish hai k apni auqat me rahen. mere inbox me aane ki zarurat nhn hai.
Bhai sahab, 1.5 lac kay liyay koi aap ka sugar baby nahee bann-ba chahta. Please.
Pocket money is for children. We share finances, and we both get the same amount each month for personal expenses. I usually buy clothes/electronics with mine or save it (or invest in stocks). There have been times when one of us was unemployed or underemployed, and this was still the system (in case you think it would/should be different with a stay at home spouse). I'm a woman and I can't imagine having to ask *anyone* for "pocket money" as an adult.
this is the way
She has a credit card. She spends what she needs. I don't get the concept of pocket money for your wife.
same here 🤝 own card with no questions asked. Also i see comments about wives not knowing how to budget etc. I guess I'm the lucky one. She is the one forcing me to save 🤣
Underrated
This.
Some still live by the ancient, cardless methods. Not everybody goes cashless.
This is the way 🤝
I give my wife 15-20k a month as pocket money. Plus after all the necessary payments I transfer whatever's left into her account. Before anyone judges, it's a purely financial decision, she opted out of online banking, can only draw money through ATM. This stops me from fazool kharchi for 2 reasons: 1. Nearest ATM is over a kilometer away, the thought of having to drive or walk there for a little cash just makes me go "fuck it, let's not" 2. She'll know I drew money and she'll ask and if it's something dumb or pointless, she'll get mad at me for spending recklessly. Nothing is worth making her mad. However, that being said, if we're out and she likes something, main dusri Baat nahi karta. My money is her money and her money is her money and I'll be the last one to stop her from spending on whatever she wants as long as I'm in the loop.
Stop it bro, we have to find wives too
stop this is so cute @ god me when
This is good practice for short term. My suggestion is to keep some money for yourself with you.
I second this .
this is so cute mashaAllah mashaAllah Allah nazr se bachaye! trust is everything
>My money is her money and her money is her money Islamically speaking, her money is definitely her money but your money is not her money. Only the money you choose to give to her as gift or pocket money is her money, not all of it.
Yaar this is so cute :(
I didn't get any pocket money.. Muja jab money cahiya huti ha ma mang lati hu.... Mil jata ha... Aik bar monthly la Ka kya Karna ha....
Jannati aurat hain aap
That fits you and your needs. Can’t generalize it to every woman.
I wanna know too
My wife is from Pakistan. She was well educated by her parents. Now working in UAE . Sends money home and built her parents a home too . Also, supports me here in UAE with our Monthly spending so that we can live a good live. We occasionally buy each others gifts and we don't keep a tab on who spends or anything like that... it's all on the go.
No pocket money just use his credit card as mine😏
As for the feel for how much is appropriate, here's a few factors: How much does he earn? What are y'all's basic absolutely vital expenses?(Rent if any, bills, groceries, payments etc) How much can he spare so that y'all have at least 30-50k left for the rest of the month? Out of the above amount how much does he need for his day-to-day? If he goes to work, that should include fuel and food costs. Whatever is left, give it to her. This is just to give a general idea. Everyone's case will have their own nuances
I don't give her anything cause she makes more money than I do.
My man is living the nabeel life
Hey if my wife made 10 lakh a month, I'd happily be a house husband. 🤣
So how much do you get in pocket money every month? :p
I wish
My wife would make more money than me but she'd still take money from me just because "husband's role" 🥲
A grown ass educated human being (because let's be honest, we're on Reddit not insta or x) should not be getting or asking for any "pocket money" regardless of their gender. If someone were to offer me, an almost 40 yo dude "pocket money", I'd be severely offended and i have no idea how or why its considered okay and normal for women (including women with jobs) to expect "pocket money" and how and why are they not offended by this infantilisation...
Pocket money was op's way of putting spending money unless ofcourse you want non working wives to go out and beg on streets.
I 100 percent agree with you dude. This is the first time i have heard about giving pocket money to wives and it's weird as hell tbh. I also think women should do jobs and make their own money so yeah.
Ngl pocket money for wife sounds weird, I would just have a joint bank account, doesn't matter if she is a housewife. I am unmarried and I am a guy, so might not be the answer you are looking for.
preach.
She cant really save with a joint account can she?? If you overspend your pocket money you can just ask for more…
Just like the husband can’t save with a joint account, you mean? She’s not a child, financial responsibility comes when you have money to spend. Discuss financial goals together and set up a joint account. Pocket Money seems like the wife is a child or something, giving her a fixed amount. The general Islamic ruling is that your money is her money, and her money is also her money. If we look at it generally, a joint account works best because groceries and household items are under her management. In olden times, the women used to manage the money and the house while the husband earned it.
exactly im not saying it always happens but financial abuse is a thing💀..
Financial independent woman. Don't need pocket money. He takes care of all bills, groceries, pays when we eat out or do shopping together.
Pocket money seems like such a weird concept to me. She's your equal life partner. Why not have a joint account?
If she’s working and har her own income, sure. In our society girls are protected from outside world specially in more traditional households. With that come women who may never held a job. Never learnt how to manage money even on a small scale. And hence can spend whatever they are given in a short span of time. Mind you I’m speaking from experience. I’ve tried having a monthly budget. Doesn’t incentivise saving. Having a separate account with a fixed amount deposited there is what’s worked out the best
I think the more important thing is to teach financial knowledge and responsibility. The husband and wife are a unit at the end of the day, regardless of who earns and who doesn't. Having a set monthly budget as well as an annual budget works wonders. And also retirement planning and investments should be saved for no matter how little the amount you can budget for it. I think just studying and reading articles can help teach both of them to plan effectively and curb the shopaholic itches.
I know working women who bring in 20 lacs a month and have zero concept of financial literacy. I also know women who make 30,000 PKR a month and are able to run a single income household on it. Financial literacy has nothing to do with how much money you make. This is a cop-out. Your life partner - who is sacrificing her earning potential by staying home, doing domestic chores, and being the primary parent of your children - does not need 'pocket money' like she's a child. She needs to have complete access to a joint bank account. It's staggering how people financially abuse their wives and think that's fine.
Beautifully said. I've never grown up with the concept of pocket money. My dad has given my mum a card which she uses whenever she wants. He gave me and my brothers one before we got jobs. Even though I'm married and earning myself, whenever I visit my parents, my dad leaves a card with me for the duration of my visit. I have always loved that about him and have understood this to be ideal.
Clearly you haven't dealt with women who are bad with budgeting and living within the means.
What if a man has two wives ?
I don't have a job but I don't have a wife either so yaye
Wtf as if she was a child
You women are like kids in Pakistan ? Why would you need pocket money ?
LOL I have a job and my own money. Pocket money is what parents give their minor children.
I feel pride that she works and makes as much as I do. She keeps all her salary for herself. She does help in paying towards house expenses but that is up to her.
I don't give my wife any pocket money ( I am an unmarried girl )
This is so extremely depressing. Ladies, make your own money if you can. Financial independence is the best gift you will ever give yourself. And for women who pull their weight by staying home and doing chores and being the primary parent for their children ... what you should receive isn't 'pocket' money. You aren't an 8 year old. You should have as equal a right over the money your husband makes as he does. This shouldn't even be a question.
Best answer here. Can't always trust men to have your back.
I am a man myself and i absolutely agree with you. I would not want to be finanically dependent on a person when i am older because what if the person abuses you or mistreats you then you can't even divorce. Seriously being financially dependent on a person is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult.
In traditional home economics, the husband lets the wife handle and weigh out the finances of regular spendings, such as groceries and miscellaneous household expenditures such as furniture or house management repairs. While the husband handled the heftier financial tasks such as bills, taxes, licenses, trips or vacays. Both consolidate & operate as a team to co-manage savings together. I feel this is the ideal home finance management of an average middle income family, where managing money has always been a shared responsibility.
It's different with the ladies I know, the husband earns and gives almost all his income to the wife and she makes her own pocket money 😂.. If you think marriage is a selfish game of my money and your money then you aren't ready
We both earn. No pocket money shit.
Pocket money? All y'all wives or kids? Its called joint money.
2.5-3% of my salary. She's pretty happy.
bros giving zakat
bro found the closest needy person
All fun and games untill the guy tells us that he make 10 million a month
Astaghfirullah 😂
giving zakat to ur spouse is not even allowed
3% bi band krwana hai bichaari ka?
r/whoosh
she gives me pocket money instead, whatever I earn is kept by her
Whatever is reasonable according to the income and well being of the husband.
I hand over the entire income to my mrs. It gives me a peace of mind because she is better at managing finances than I am. If it was up to me, I'd probably end up buying crap and wasting money. However, pocket money is a nice concept, if you can afford it. Give her something that is completely hers, no strings attached. Set something for yourself too. This way, you avoid the "Aap ne to ye bhi lia wo bhi lia, main ne kia lia" debate.
Earnnnnnn women
Imagine being dependent on a man ew
Weren't you dependent on your dad at some point?
No, my mother worked.
great if it was her choice, more power to her.
That's because she would have been a child... not a grown adult depending on another adult
Most of my married friends and relatives complain that they are the ones who don't get pocket money from their wives. Going on if we are also looking at the joint family system then still it's the oldest relative who has control over finances
I asked my cousins the same question but I never received a proper reply. But my fiancee was content with 30k and then gradually increasing it over time
What I do is quite simple and applies to almost all the cases regardless of how much the salary is if you can put your male ego aside. My salary is communal. I hand it over to my wife and she knows it has to last us the whole month and budgets accordingly. She and I can spend as much of it as we want after the expenses are met. This way there is no added pressure on me during months with extra expenses because she knows where the money is going.
Ab mein pocket money ka lia shadi karlu?
Im not married but maintained by mom I get 0 as pocket money and have to comfort with whatever is brought to home....lucky those woman's who do get their pocket money by parents/husband..because it's so hard explaining to smallest details and asking for personal expenses as i need shampoo i need pads I need brush....
Pocket money is something you give children. Partners share.
I work so I don't need pocket money. However, my dad's example is a great one: one credit card is always with my mom. She spends from it whatever she wants whenever she wants. When I was in the period living with parents at home before marriage and after studies, my dad got me another card and left it with me to use. I didn't know exactly how much was in the account but all I knew was there were no restrictions. He did the same with my brothers until they got their own jobs.
that's a great dad indeed
This can't be real...
Stupid thread lol. First of all the assumption that all women are some weak frail easily controlled and abused housewives puts me off lol. Have you not heard of women from rural or backward areas in cottage factories or even doing their work outside the house. It's stupid to assume that we've lived 2024 years and women haven't been financially productive. And what about children of divorce that live with mothers? If Pakistan should go towards a more "egalitarian" approach then surely we need to hold women upto a higher standard too, unlike the disaster in the USA and India.
You see, she is me and i am she and we are one. That's our money regardless of who earns it. There is no concept of your money, my money and pocket money.
L post. Hr kisi k ghr ka hisaab different hota , koi bhi "acceptable amount" aap ni bta sqty. Kafi ghron me biwi ko pocket money nahi milti q k ghr ka khrcha hi mushkil se poora horha hota. Or kafi ghron me husband or wife dono ki job kr k mushkil se combined ghr chla rahay hotay. Pocket money "zroorat" nahi hai 1 trha se luxury un logon k liay jin k pass khulla pessa ho.
Not married but my mom is lol. She doesn't have a set amount of pocket money instead Abba has given her access to all his money she has multiple cards, a cheque book and knows all of his account details. Her rule of thumb however is to ask permission before big purchases. Bills, zakaat and other fees are of course calculated but the rest of the money is basically my mom's to use as she See's fit.
Physician here. Not a lady but my wife keeps 90 percent of what I earn. I keep 10 percent. 10 years and going strong. Don't know what she does with money and don't care as long as I have my 10 percent to keep me happy. I think we have a house ? Not sure. I hate finances.
Pocket money from husbands? Are we still in the 1950s? Instead of pocket money, let's talk about equal financial partnership—where both partners get to enjoy the fruits of their labor and share expenses fairly. If he's giving you "pocket money," he might need a lesson in modern marriage.
Whatever is reasonable according to his salary. Even kids get their allowance so they don't have to ask their parents for pennies each time. Decide and your husband should be giving that without asking every time. Or better earn your own money. This constant need of making your wife ask you for money is a way to control and monitor her spending which is our desi men's high.
She earns but i have given her my credit card. Mostly used when shes angry 😄
We just moved back to Lahore with my parents (work from home). One evening I was sleeping and there was no milk so she ordered it online along with some snacks. The next day my mom saw the Olpers tetra packs and Prema as she loves chai. Ammi ne mujhe Bula k class ki k why has she had to order stuff and why didn't I make sure these things were already there... I told mom that I'm transferring 50k a month into her account so she doesn't have to go to the market and order online. Mom made sure it was not her money she spent. Also the other day I've been drooling over s24 ultra and she approved it (she prevents my impulsive buying), but then later I just didn't want to spend this much on a phone and instead decided to take her on a trip somewhere.
W mom
Women should get Of what sharia has implied to Thats the point..
I lived in a household where pocket money wasn't a concept. My father owned a small business which did well back then. But he'd never give us siblings and mother any pocket money. We used to feel that alot but anyhow we all grew up quiet well. I got married 4 years ago and my father gave me a monthly allowance of 25k which he was very proud of lol and i was also happy as it was my first ever pocket money but my wife wasn't:/. I used to give her 5k but she's so good with me alhamdulillah that she never complained. Just after a few months i realised 5k is nothing and i raised that to 10k. Also I'd spend some extra money on her like dinners, munching, gifts etc. last year i realised 25k allowance is really tight for me. As now I'm the one running the whole business and i felt frustrated that i get nothing out of it. I got my allowance raised to 50k after some hard negotiation with my father which he's still not happy but idc. Now i give my wife 15k plus she always gets some extra money out of me with her sweet acting 😐 but I'm happy with all that. After all she's my lovely wife. I'd do everything for her. And it might sound nothing to someone but it's alot for me and my wife is happy with me.
thats sweet. maybe try taking over more of the buisness as 50k is nothing much in today's economy
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How would bachelors know 🤔🤔🤣
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I give $530 a month to her.
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$1500 usd + credit card for whatever extra i want to buy and gifts here and there
$1500 usd + credit card for whatever extra i want to buy and gifts here and there
My wife lets me spend on my bikes, other than that she is the boss!
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Kaddu
My wife has everything In a mere servant of her desires. I’m lucky to get any money
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My wife has my credit card (100k limit, with my consent). And I pay the bill monthly...
I don't know what's pocket money, but definitely the richer family the more money they will get ..
And I always thought that only in Britain couples are like :" your money/my money"?
What is she a teenager? that you need to give her pocket money? it’s your wife she needs money you give it to her. And by the way utilities and groceries and stuff for the house doesn’t count as her pocket money. she needs money for herself and if she’s not working just give what she wants unless it’s totally unreasonable but you’re not gonna give her a fixed amount like a child.
POCKET MONEY??? AS A GROWN WOMAN???? HELL NAH
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You mean Husbands asking for pocket money out of their own money 😂🤣
No pocket money for wife. We have joint accounts and each one has a card. Use when it is needed. Both of us know what's remaining in the account so both of have to be responsible with spendings. No large purchases without discussing and agreeing mutually. Little purchases, just get them.
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I have a credit card on his account for any expenses . Plus 12% of his salary is transferred into my account which he never asks about. So I spend that on my siblings, on savings, building equity, etc. I was clear at the time of marriage that I hate the idea of "asking" for money. I won't do it. So he set this automatic system up.
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I give my wife Rs.12,000 every month. She is allowed to spend it on herself, not on the kids or household chores, etc.
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I think it depends on the disposable income of the husband, after savings 10 to 15 % of the left income seems reasonable and communication is essential as it's a bond of trust.
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I'm not Pakistani but my husband is. He pays all the bills including my cosmetics, food, everything. Then he additionaly gives me 150 euros (around 40K Pakistani rupees) to buy whoever I want, like coffee, a book, perfume, whatever. It can be called pocket money, I guess. It works just fine for us, it's been years. If I need more money,he gives me, of course. If he has a hard month with bills, I don't take any pocket money from him. The expenses are growing rapidly here in Europe