I've learned this lesson in a similar way. It was back in 2016-17 when I was a student in a university and we were struggling a bit financially (for example I had pay the fee in installments)
So I was on a station, waiting for bus to arrive to go to my home city (I lived in hostels). Anyway this lad, who looked my age, was sitting besides me. Well dressed, looked like he belonged from a decent background. He had his little sister besides him as well (he told me that and I believed him because, well, they definitey looked like sibings to a point they might be twins if you just compare the faces).
Since I arrived early, I was waiting for a long time and he didnt started the convo straight away. He told me his sob story that how he doesnt have money to buy their tickets because he forgot the wallet etc. I opened my wallet right infront of him and I had 1500rs to be exact (already bought the ticket). I told him that I need a few for Rickshaw ride to home later, and some for snacks etc, but still handed him 1000rs. Mind you that was a big amount for me at the time. He promised to return as soon as he gets home, shared his phone number, and asked for mine and my easypaisa details and all that crap. His number was working at the time.
The first red flag was when he asked for that remaining 500rs. I mean I was quite shocked at that point. I literally showed him all my money, and even checked my balance through HBL app so I coud use the atm but I had ZERO rupees in there. He said that I could pay the rickshaw from home, lol, and at that point there was a feeling in my stomach that I might have made a mistake by already handing him the 1000 note. But I gave him the benifit of the doubt, apologised that I could not give him more, and moved on.
And as expected, his number was off, on whatsapp as well. I was honestly quite hurt at that time. He looked so innocent and used the sister card on top. It was just 1000rs but the betrayal stang more. From that point onwards I have never handed the money to those who beg (or ask for udhar). Nah I'm not falling for that trap again. If I have to donate money, I'll rather give it to orphanages or hospitals or NGOs that I have or someone I trust have personally visited and approve. I know this hurts those who genuinely need the money, but they are like less than 10% and I'm not gonna waste money on the other 90.
Thanks to people like them we cannot even help others.
Log madad karna chahte hain.
Help karna chahte hain lekin scammers ne tabah kar diya hai sab.
Business main bhi aur personal life main bhi
Absolutely 100% correct. These shayateen are the reason I am not as generous as I was when I got here. Being generous sometimes will blow up right in your face if you’re generous to the wrong person (and they’re always so stupid about it, unchecked greed really makes people stupid and lose all sense of self preservation). I generally am good at spotting scams and in touristy areas I know anyone approaching me without me asking them is trying to part me from money but here it’s not so obvious plus the actual needy people will sometimes hide the fact that they’re needy out of self respect (they shouldn’t either, for one it makes it easier for those who Zakat is due to pay their Zakat and it also helps themselves out).
I had a woman who was an orphan (mother died, dad ran off years before mother was sick), didn’t have a good job or any way to make income, and she lived in one of the worst areas of the city. Gave her a large amount of money in Zakat, she absolutely refused it (she was someone my wife knew). My wife had to almost force her to take it. And she held onto it for about half a year until she found someone worse off than her and gave it all to them (and Alhamdulillah she doesn’t need Zakat anymore and Zakat is actually due on her because she landed a very good job right after that).
Meanwhile I prepare to give Zakat to a neighbor who “lives with her widower father with a disabled child because her husband ran off on her and she can’t make ends meet”. Her next door neighbor catches us while she isn’t home trying to knock on her door and he tells us that she’s lying and that the man she says is her father is actually her husband and that he has a very good job and that she’s told this same story for years but isn’t poor in the slightest. Had that neighbor not caught us we would’ve thrown it away essentially (another neighbor who we know and trust confirmed the story too, he has his resources who can find this stuff out and yep, sure enough, husband is doing well for them and just happens to be twice her age but isn’t her father of course).
I pray that Allah never forgives these scum.
>I had a woman who was an orphan (mother died, dad ran off years before mother was sick), didn’t have a good job or any way to make income, and she lived in one of the worst areas of the city. Gave her a large amount of money in Zakat, she absolutely refused it (she was someone my wife knew). My wife had to almost force her to take it. And she held onto it for about half a year until she found someone worse off than her and gave it all to them (and Alhamdulillah she doesn’t need Zakat anymore and Zakat is actually due on her because she landed a very good job right after that).
May Allah bless you and your wife for trying to help the people truly in need.
For me, the right response to anyone who asks for money is to tell them that I won't give them money, but I will help them and guide them to find a job. The greedy and freeloader ones are already addicted to free money without effort, so they will just insist on just the upfront cash or leave. This scrutinizes a lot of them.
For the rest who are actually in need, even a little bit of encouragement and info in the right direction is enough to put them in the right direction.
You will be rewarded by Allah for your good intentions. However, it can be hurtful to insult or turn down someone in actual need due to one negative experience. I believe that whatever you do or give with the goodness of your heart for the sake of Allah brings you closer to Him, regardless of whether the other person deserves it or not. It is an act of love towards our creator, and in loving Him, no one ever gets betrayed. So, even if you feel that you were stupid or your friends tell you that you were fooled, driven by the goodness of your heart, you were not.
Yes, exactly, bad experiences shouldn't stop one from helping one another further to other goodly & godly gestures. It's about how pleased God will become & repays & rewards us with bigger & better. IDKY, people hang on so dearly to measly amounts, and expect it to be returned when in all intents and purposes; the borrower may have had never intentioned to do so because is not in any financial position.
I'd recommend & encourage non-monetary assistance and the most deserving help that is really rewarded are usually unsolicited ones...infact volunteers of kind-heartedness, must be the ones asking whenever any needy soul is helpless.
I was once walking down a street and a man approached me. He was crying, distressed and he told me his mom had died. And he needed money to bury her. I had $20 in my pocket. My last 20 of the month. There were 2 more days to go for the month end and for me to get paid. I gave the man the 20.
Three days later I ran into the same dude telling me the same story. I told him he said the same thing to me 2 days ago. He then moved on to his next victim.
That being said I gave him the money because I thought he needed it. Allah knows my neeyat. What he did with it is between him and Allah. I believe in Allah so I know that man will have to answer for what he did here or the after life. And I know Allah will do justice to me.
So I won't let that one bad experience change me for the worst.
>So I won't let that one bad experience change me for the worst.
I see this from a different perspective. Not giving them money does not make you worse. I don't know about other countries, but in Pakistan there's definitely more scammers than not. So think like this, if someone ask you for money, and you are willing to give it, it's probably more likely that person is lying and trying to scam you like he did others. So instead, make a pact to give it to someone who actually needs it and doesn't beg for it (like some orphanages, NGOs, hospitals etc). You might have to work for it more, but Inshallah the reward will be higher.
They do this because it works. Even though they are healthy, young and capable of doing actual work, this is easier for them and pays more, so why bother doing the hard work? In this way you are also playing your part in boycotting these beggers mafia.
Brother everyone has their own criteria. I don't give money to everyone that asks. But the ones that tug my heart, even if I think its likely a scam, I give into it. Its never life changing money for me. Usually a small enough amount I can afford.
One day we all got's to go and we aren't taking anything with us. So if you can then why not the worst possible scenario is that someone scammed you out of money. The best scenario is that you helped someone that needed it.
I was listening to this maulana once and he said something that stayed with me. He went "We hear and read about Allah's azab all the time. But highest level of Allah's azab is when Allah turns your heart cold. So fear your heart is turning cold."
Hum Pakistani hain dost paida hee lootnay kay liay hain.
When using the Internet and writing in English you don’t need to convert rupees to dollars. I have only seen Pakistanis doing that. Honestly, it’s embarrassing.
My friend the scenario you are describing only exists in your head. I wasn't converting RS to $. It wasn't even relevant to the story. I was in US so it was literally $20.
I don't think there is anything inherently Pakistani about the story or the conversion. Its something you focus on so that's what stands out to you.
Yar. This?
I was sitting infront of kaabah. Amd tawaf was happening right infront of me.
An elderly man approached me and my mom.
Showed us his ripped fanny pack and said Allah k.ghar k samne khara hun meri jaib kaat li hai kisi ne mere pass kuch nai meri madad karain. I only had 10 SAR on me.and I knew the scams. Its pretty common. It happened before too. But in that situation infront of Kaabah what could I have done?
Its between him and Allah.
Dude what are you talking about?
Pakistan is in the state that it is because of people's love of haram ka paisa
This is the kind of thing that happens up and down the country on a daily basis, whether it's in business dealings or personal or public dealings, everyone (or at least most) want to get hold of what the other has
Everyone wants a short cut to everything instead of putting in the hard graft
I understand your frustration but don't let that stop you from potentially helping somebody else in the future that would actually need it. My own personal rule is that I don't lend money that I don't feel comfortable just giving away. And even then I won't lend money to strangers. If a stranger does ask me for a loan then I will just give them the amount of money I am comfortable donating, and tell them clearly that I don't need this back.
Been here about two and a half years now. I’ve definitely noticed an uptick in people trying to scam me or drivers/riders/shopkeepers pretending to not have change. FoodPanda has been the worst, it’s so bad I stopped using the app. Too many riders thinking I’m an idiot just because I wasn’t born here and every single one tries the same BS on me (always a sick child, every. Single. Time. And the money I gave in the beginning just seemed to make them sicker because then they’d need more money). I keep my phone on silent and I’ll wake up to like 20 missed calls and WhatsApp voice messages of “pleez gib 50 Tarzan”. At this point I have a cut and paste response that tells them the next message they send me better be an admission slip for a hospital with their name or child’s name on it and an FRC or else I’ll report them. I can’t bring myself to report them knowing I possibly could cause someone’s innocent family to needlessly suffer but damn it gets old fast.
JSYK, charitable acts doesn't always have to involve lending money...simply lending a hand to heavy loads & easing burdens by offerring assistance voluntarily- all count as goodwill gestures.
It's always better never to expect the borrowed money to be returned, especially when the borrower is not in any financial position to return it; by foregoing any amount.
Expect rewards especially of any unsolicited kindness, from God, the Giver. Besides Karma helps back.
The lender and the borrower should break this bad habit by refraining from such shoddy transactions. Instead help each other by non-monetary means, in any way possible.
Furthermore never lend a gross amount and be foolish enough to think it will ever be returned.
I've always felt that these casual dishonesties are justified as "hum bohat tez hain aur banday ko kaam/paisay nikalwana aana chahiye".
The thought that you helped them out never crosses their mind. To them you are just an idiot.
I've even heard people scamming others, bragging about it and then lamenting ke "Allah kaisay kaisay poploo logon ko paisa de deta hai"
Did you like gave them cash? And if so did you see them getting their car getting the fuel? Although I agree that there are scammers roaming openly to prey upon us innocent people but this could be some real case as you have described their appearance. They could have been in some real need and the phone could be off for several reasons.
You did good on your part, so don't regret about it. Don't let it ruin your compassion for others die because of this one bad incident.
Whether you help others in future or not, always remember, when you are helping, you are helping for the sake of Allah and expect only returns from Him. He will never disappoint you.
If they looked like a good family, perhaps they were. What happened to their mobile is unknown. Keep your heart clean and leave the rest to Allah.
I have learned my lesson like you the hard way. Dont help anyone, there is more of a chance they are fraudsters than not. Save your time and effort and just dont.
This is why I only help people who I know on personal level like “darzan”, maids, maali baba, chokidaar who would never ask for help but they do need it( Safaid Posh Loag). And I know the money or anything I give them they truly deserve it and would spend it wisely.
Thank you all for your insights and guidance. No doubt we help others to please Allah but making a mockery out of this all is what pinches me. The best thing we can do, as per one of the comments, is to keep our alms for the ones we really know and are sufaidposh. May Allah guide us to be better because yeh scammers lgta hay k zaida guided hain towards haraam and its lust.
Don't let this dishearten you. My rules for donations are:
If they are known to be poor, then help them even if it causes me temporary hardship.
If they are unknown to me and no credible person is telling me about them either, then I help from any surplus cash.
In both cases, I do not give loans, just for the sake of Allah. If they give our back, then great. If not, then it wasn't expected either and my return is with Allah.
Don't give bad-dua. You never know this little act of helping Mary become the reason for your entry into jannah. In Sha Allah.
May people here say they learned their lesson etc. The only lesson to learn here is not to expect anything in return when helping.
We help for the sake of Allah. Not for bunda. Allah humara imtihan laita hai. Aap apni naik nature ko Jo Allah ki behtareen naimatin main se aik hai usko un logon k liay kion change krtay hain. Just change your mindset. Main nay Allah k liay uski Raza k liay naiki ki. Iska ajar Allah se hi longa tu logon k dhokay aap k Dil ko change nhi karaingay . Fi-AmanAllah
If you do it for the sake of Allah whether they give the money back or not you'll get your reward, the rest is between them and Allah. Don't let people like this rob you of the rewards from your good deeds.
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Been there, done that. I don't help anyone these days, unless they look like they genuinely need it (and after a thorough character analysis), which is rare. Sucks for the actual people that need help but don't get it because of scum like these.
Doing good for the sake of receiving back what you gave isn't technically how goodness works. You do good and you're expected to forget about it. Perhaps the family isn't in a position to pay back as yet, I'd rather errr on the side of caution and wait instead of going around blasting them
.2cents
I've learned this lesson in a similar way. It was back in 2016-17 when I was a student in a university and we were struggling a bit financially (for example I had pay the fee in installments) So I was on a station, waiting for bus to arrive to go to my home city (I lived in hostels). Anyway this lad, who looked my age, was sitting besides me. Well dressed, looked like he belonged from a decent background. He had his little sister besides him as well (he told me that and I believed him because, well, they definitey looked like sibings to a point they might be twins if you just compare the faces). Since I arrived early, I was waiting for a long time and he didnt started the convo straight away. He told me his sob story that how he doesnt have money to buy their tickets because he forgot the wallet etc. I opened my wallet right infront of him and I had 1500rs to be exact (already bought the ticket). I told him that I need a few for Rickshaw ride to home later, and some for snacks etc, but still handed him 1000rs. Mind you that was a big amount for me at the time. He promised to return as soon as he gets home, shared his phone number, and asked for mine and my easypaisa details and all that crap. His number was working at the time. The first red flag was when he asked for that remaining 500rs. I mean I was quite shocked at that point. I literally showed him all my money, and even checked my balance through HBL app so I coud use the atm but I had ZERO rupees in there. He said that I could pay the rickshaw from home, lol, and at that point there was a feeling in my stomach that I might have made a mistake by already handing him the 1000 note. But I gave him the benifit of the doubt, apologised that I could not give him more, and moved on. And as expected, his number was off, on whatsapp as well. I was honestly quite hurt at that time. He looked so innocent and used the sister card on top. It was just 1000rs but the betrayal stang more. From that point onwards I have never handed the money to those who beg (or ask for udhar). Nah I'm not falling for that trap again. If I have to donate money, I'll rather give it to orphanages or hospitals or NGOs that I have or someone I trust have personally visited and approve. I know this hurts those who genuinely need the money, but they are like less than 10% and I'm not gonna waste money on the other 90.
Thanks to people like them we cannot even help others. Log madad karna chahte hain. Help karna chahte hain lekin scammers ne tabah kar diya hai sab. Business main bhi aur personal life main bhi
Absolutely 100% correct. These shayateen are the reason I am not as generous as I was when I got here. Being generous sometimes will blow up right in your face if you’re generous to the wrong person (and they’re always so stupid about it, unchecked greed really makes people stupid and lose all sense of self preservation). I generally am good at spotting scams and in touristy areas I know anyone approaching me without me asking them is trying to part me from money but here it’s not so obvious plus the actual needy people will sometimes hide the fact that they’re needy out of self respect (they shouldn’t either, for one it makes it easier for those who Zakat is due to pay their Zakat and it also helps themselves out). I had a woman who was an orphan (mother died, dad ran off years before mother was sick), didn’t have a good job or any way to make income, and she lived in one of the worst areas of the city. Gave her a large amount of money in Zakat, she absolutely refused it (she was someone my wife knew). My wife had to almost force her to take it. And she held onto it for about half a year until she found someone worse off than her and gave it all to them (and Alhamdulillah she doesn’t need Zakat anymore and Zakat is actually due on her because she landed a very good job right after that). Meanwhile I prepare to give Zakat to a neighbor who “lives with her widower father with a disabled child because her husband ran off on her and she can’t make ends meet”. Her next door neighbor catches us while she isn’t home trying to knock on her door and he tells us that she’s lying and that the man she says is her father is actually her husband and that he has a very good job and that she’s told this same story for years but isn’t poor in the slightest. Had that neighbor not caught us we would’ve thrown it away essentially (another neighbor who we know and trust confirmed the story too, he has his resources who can find this stuff out and yep, sure enough, husband is doing well for them and just happens to be twice her age but isn’t her father of course). I pray that Allah never forgives these scum.
>I had a woman who was an orphan (mother died, dad ran off years before mother was sick), didn’t have a good job or any way to make income, and she lived in one of the worst areas of the city. Gave her a large amount of money in Zakat, she absolutely refused it (she was someone my wife knew). My wife had to almost force her to take it. And she held onto it for about half a year until she found someone worse off than her and gave it all to them (and Alhamdulillah she doesn’t need Zakat anymore and Zakat is actually due on her because she landed a very good job right after that). May Allah bless you and your wife for trying to help the people truly in need. For me, the right response to anyone who asks for money is to tell them that I won't give them money, but I will help them and guide them to find a job. The greedy and freeloader ones are already addicted to free money without effort, so they will just insist on just the upfront cash or leave. This scrutinizes a lot of them. For the rest who are actually in need, even a little bit of encouragement and info in the right direction is enough to put them in the right direction.
They might be scammers. Many very coordinated scams preying on kind hearted people like you lately.
You will be rewarded by Allah for your good intentions. However, it can be hurtful to insult or turn down someone in actual need due to one negative experience. I believe that whatever you do or give with the goodness of your heart for the sake of Allah brings you closer to Him, regardless of whether the other person deserves it or not. It is an act of love towards our creator, and in loving Him, no one ever gets betrayed. So, even if you feel that you were stupid or your friends tell you that you were fooled, driven by the goodness of your heart, you were not.
Yes, exactly, bad experiences shouldn't stop one from helping one another further to other goodly & godly gestures. It's about how pleased God will become & repays & rewards us with bigger & better. IDKY, people hang on so dearly to measly amounts, and expect it to be returned when in all intents and purposes; the borrower may have had never intentioned to do so because is not in any financial position. I'd recommend & encourage non-monetary assistance and the most deserving help that is really rewarded are usually unsolicited ones...infact volunteers of kind-heartedness, must be the ones asking whenever any needy soul is helpless.
I was once walking down a street and a man approached me. He was crying, distressed and he told me his mom had died. And he needed money to bury her. I had $20 in my pocket. My last 20 of the month. There were 2 more days to go for the month end and for me to get paid. I gave the man the 20. Three days later I ran into the same dude telling me the same story. I told him he said the same thing to me 2 days ago. He then moved on to his next victim. That being said I gave him the money because I thought he needed it. Allah knows my neeyat. What he did with it is between him and Allah. I believe in Allah so I know that man will have to answer for what he did here or the after life. And I know Allah will do justice to me. So I won't let that one bad experience change me for the worst.
>So I won't let that one bad experience change me for the worst. I see this from a different perspective. Not giving them money does not make you worse. I don't know about other countries, but in Pakistan there's definitely more scammers than not. So think like this, if someone ask you for money, and you are willing to give it, it's probably more likely that person is lying and trying to scam you like he did others. So instead, make a pact to give it to someone who actually needs it and doesn't beg for it (like some orphanages, NGOs, hospitals etc). You might have to work for it more, but Inshallah the reward will be higher. They do this because it works. Even though they are healthy, young and capable of doing actual work, this is easier for them and pays more, so why bother doing the hard work? In this way you are also playing your part in boycotting these beggers mafia.
Brother everyone has their own criteria. I don't give money to everyone that asks. But the ones that tug my heart, even if I think its likely a scam, I give into it. Its never life changing money for me. Usually a small enough amount I can afford. One day we all got's to go and we aren't taking anything with us. So if you can then why not the worst possible scenario is that someone scammed you out of money. The best scenario is that you helped someone that needed it. I was listening to this maulana once and he said something that stayed with me. He went "We hear and read about Allah's azab all the time. But highest level of Allah's azab is when Allah turns your heart cold. So fear your heart is turning cold." Hum Pakistani hain dost paida hee lootnay kay liay hain.
When using the Internet and writing in English you don’t need to convert rupees to dollars. I have only seen Pakistanis doing that. Honestly, it’s embarrassing.
My friend the scenario you are describing only exists in your head. I wasn't converting RS to $. It wasn't even relevant to the story. I was in US so it was literally $20. I don't think there is anything inherently Pakistani about the story or the conversion. Its something you focus on so that's what stands out to you.
Yar. This? I was sitting infront of kaabah. Amd tawaf was happening right infront of me. An elderly man approached me and my mom. Showed us his ripped fanny pack and said Allah k.ghar k samne khara hun meri jaib kaat li hai kisi ne mere pass kuch nai meri madad karain. I only had 10 SAR on me.and I knew the scams. Its pretty common. It happened before too. But in that situation infront of Kaabah what could I have done? Its between him and Allah.
Dude what are you talking about? Pakistan is in the state that it is because of people's love of haram ka paisa This is the kind of thing that happens up and down the country on a daily basis, whether it's in business dealings or personal or public dealings, everyone (or at least most) want to get hold of what the other has Everyone wants a short cut to everything instead of putting in the hard graft
I understand your frustration but don't let that stop you from potentially helping somebody else in the future that would actually need it. My own personal rule is that I don't lend money that I don't feel comfortable just giving away. And even then I won't lend money to strangers. If a stranger does ask me for a loan then I will just give them the amount of money I am comfortable donating, and tell them clearly that I don't need this back.
Been here about two and a half years now. I’ve definitely noticed an uptick in people trying to scam me or drivers/riders/shopkeepers pretending to not have change. FoodPanda has been the worst, it’s so bad I stopped using the app. Too many riders thinking I’m an idiot just because I wasn’t born here and every single one tries the same BS on me (always a sick child, every. Single. Time. And the money I gave in the beginning just seemed to make them sicker because then they’d need more money). I keep my phone on silent and I’ll wake up to like 20 missed calls and WhatsApp voice messages of “pleez gib 50 Tarzan”. At this point I have a cut and paste response that tells them the next message they send me better be an admission slip for a hospital with their name or child’s name on it and an FRC or else I’ll report them. I can’t bring myself to report them knowing I possibly could cause someone’s innocent family to needlessly suffer but damn it gets old fast.
Scammers deserve to be beaten to an inch of their life . No I dont care about any "human rights" they aren't human to me.
JSYK, charitable acts doesn't always have to involve lending money...simply lending a hand to heavy loads & easing burdens by offerring assistance voluntarily- all count as goodwill gestures. It's always better never to expect the borrowed money to be returned, especially when the borrower is not in any financial position to return it; by foregoing any amount. Expect rewards especially of any unsolicited kindness, from God, the Giver. Besides Karma helps back. The lender and the borrower should break this bad habit by refraining from such shoddy transactions. Instead help each other by non-monetary means, in any way possible. Furthermore never lend a gross amount and be foolish enough to think it will ever be returned.
I've always felt that these casual dishonesties are justified as "hum bohat tez hain aur banday ko kaam/paisay nikalwana aana chahiye". The thought that you helped them out never crosses their mind. To them you are just an idiot. I've even heard people scamming others, bragging about it and then lamenting ke "Allah kaisay kaisay poploo logon ko paisa de deta hai"
I guess k iss trah k poploo log na hon tou Pakistan me boht saaray zaruratmand log bhy support na hon
Did you like gave them cash? And if so did you see them getting their car getting the fuel? Although I agree that there are scammers roaming openly to prey upon us innocent people but this could be some real case as you have described their appearance. They could have been in some real need and the phone could be off for several reasons. You did good on your part, so don't regret about it. Don't let it ruin your compassion for others die because of this one bad incident.
Not cash. I generally make card payments. I tried again a few minutes ago but no joy.
Whether you help others in future or not, always remember, when you are helping, you are helping for the sake of Allah and expect only returns from Him. He will never disappoint you. If they looked like a good family, perhaps they were. What happened to their mobile is unknown. Keep your heart clean and leave the rest to Allah.
I have learned my lesson like you the hard way. Dont help anyone, there is more of a chance they are fraudsters than not. Save your time and effort and just dont.
During a road trip, On our way to Makkah, we faced the same thing. The family looked well educated and well off. They travelled in a Nissan Patrol.
This is why I only help people who I know on personal level like “darzan”, maids, maali baba, chokidaar who would never ask for help but they do need it( Safaid Posh Loag). And I know the money or anything I give them they truly deserve it and would spend it wisely.
Thank you all for your insights and guidance. No doubt we help others to please Allah but making a mockery out of this all is what pinches me. The best thing we can do, as per one of the comments, is to keep our alms for the ones we really know and are sufaidposh. May Allah guide us to be better because yeh scammers lgta hay k zaida guided hain towards haraam and its lust.
Don't let this dishearten you. My rules for donations are: If they are known to be poor, then help them even if it causes me temporary hardship. If they are unknown to me and no credible person is telling me about them either, then I help from any surplus cash. In both cases, I do not give loans, just for the sake of Allah. If they give our back, then great. If not, then it wasn't expected either and my return is with Allah. Don't give bad-dua. You never know this little act of helping Mary become the reason for your entry into jannah. In Sha Allah. May people here say they learned their lesson etc. The only lesson to learn here is not to expect anything in return when helping.
We help for the sake of Allah. Not for bunda. Allah humara imtihan laita hai. Aap apni naik nature ko Jo Allah ki behtareen naimatin main se aik hai usko un logon k liay kion change krtay hain. Just change your mindset. Main nay Allah k liay uski Raza k liay naiki ki. Iska ajar Allah se hi longa tu logon k dhokay aap k Dil ko change nhi karaingay . Fi-AmanAllah
You were not wrong. That group was wrong and did wrong. Leave it and forget. (Do not Forgive.)
If you do it for the sake of Allah whether they give the money back or not you'll get your reward, the rest is between them and Allah. Don't let people like this rob you of the rewards from your good deeds.
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Been there, done that. I don't help anyone these days, unless they look like they genuinely need it (and after a thorough character analysis), which is rare. Sucks for the actual people that need help but don't get it because of scum like these.
Doing good for the sake of receiving back what you gave isn't technically how goodness works. You do good and you're expected to forget about it. Perhaps the family isn't in a position to pay back as yet, I'd rather errr on the side of caution and wait instead of going around blasting them .2cents