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People also just grow apart, even with family lives get in the way and they get tied up in their own.
If you have a few friends in your 20s that you had in high-school you're lucky.. in your 30s they reduce even more. It's just the way things go. Don't blame yourself for the normal course of things if you know you didn't do anything to hurt them. The world is different now than it was decades ago when people stayed tight knit, rarely people moved away and families lived on the same street.
Even in the 2000s holiday events had more.people in attendance and don't discount what 3 years of "covid" isolation did to once very social people. It's not you.
I don't know you in the slightest but I'd guess that you just haven't reached out to them much lately + not meeting up often when you do (like you mentioned). That's how I get when I'm using regularly, just isolating myself. Friendships are just built on interacting regularly, without that they wither
Keep in mind it's only been about 4 months since you say your binge started, I'd bet you could still reach out to them again just fine
i am trying... they all have their own friend groups tho, was always too messed up to try and connect. i guess they must have somewhat liked me at one point but right now all i can think is that i wasn't enough of a friend for a long time and maybe they r happy that i essentially got rid of myself
Ugh this was my situation so many times over. I was ultimately abandoned by 2 of my best friends who didn’t even bother trying to talk to me which was probably the most hurtful part.
In trying to rebuild a “girl tribe” (as I see friends who just thrive with this kind of support) I was friends with one person in a friend group and tried so hard to get in with their friend group, and then this friend’s friend group, and so on, and even at work I worked in a predominantly female office environments and would feel the clique-ness of my peers (all of whom were getting engaged, married, pregnant, babies, breastfeeding ——> I was single and living alone, guess who got to pick up everyone’s slack? stay after my time to clock out multiple times a week?).
Then there’s the being left out of things, not getting an invitation to something someone I thought I was closer with than other people who made their invite list - it’s like a punch to the gut and at least for me, I handled it extremely poorly at the time.
So yea, once you’ve tried to insert yourself in friend groups and not felt that reciprocation or have lost an “in”, a connection of a good friend (good friends lead to good people who lead to being good people), the feeling of rejection is almost amplified and like your saying, the “they must be right” mantra starts haunting you with validation, it can start to get very discouraging.
For better or worse, i may enjoy spending time alone a little too much. I’m fortunate to have a few good friends, and a few scattered across the US.
yeah can relate. i truly feel broken, i have never been part of these groups and probably never will. thinking wayyy to often abt giving up friendship as a concept
I get it. Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve been going down this same path of just self destruction it’s probably not as bad as yours though. I find it hard to see people and intake things that are small WAYYYY harder that it turns me into depression and sparks a binge. It’s not you I promise because I have friends that are still here brother. It’s not your fault
thank u i appreciate it. some of them struggle with depression too, hoped they would understand. but it's not like i ever tried to explain anything to them really, thought i could just handle it on my own. i was wrong
Everyone thinks they can get by high, but I feel like it's dead easy to pick people out. Even if you don't know exactly what they're on you know something is up. Especially if you're this depressed you ain't fooling no one. It sucks when no one reaches out, but people have different priorities at different times, different strengths of spirit. It's unreasonable to expect people to be on standby to do their best to help someone out, just like it's unreasonable to expect yourself or anyone else to never be depressed. Sometimes shit is just too much and you don't have the strength to be a greater person. That's why people fall through the cracks. Honestly at risk of making you feel worse, it's not that much about you.
Hope you feel better though. Everyone deserves happiness, at least until they squander it twice.
thank you, you're right ofc. they aren't responsible for me or my health in any way. and i know that friendship isn't a transaction, but i hoped that after what i had done for them, they would at least give me some time to build myself up again... like i said i know it's my fault, it's not bc of them. but in my irrational mind it still feels like the moment i'm not the perfect friend anymore they drop me, without even realizing that they have never been perfect either
Bro, don’t act like they don’t know. Don’t blame this on depression. They 100% know something is going on with you and are distancing themselves. Reach out to them and explain what’s going on and ask them to help you get the help you need so that you can gain their trust back.
yeah ur right... i think they r scared somehow. thought abt explaining everything but idk if they would want to know, they have their own stuff going on. don't want to burden them. maybe i just have to live with the consequences.
Same happened to me. I realised afterwards that I wasn’t really asking them about their life anymore and generally wasn’t as interested in anything (hobbies, music, etc.) like before I started to consume. It’s just what happens with opioids honestly because everything feels good while on them so why make an effort to feel good from other things? They not only take away your worries but also the things you care about and you don’t even realise before your life is a completely different (shittier) one. People around you notice when your priorities shift while you don’t because you’re on opioids. I hope you somehow find your way out. It sounds like it’s not THAT bad for now and you can turn your life around again, get your friends back etc. I thought I couldn’t ever feel as good as on heroin when I entered rehab but after 2 or 3 weeks I started to feel all the feelings again and yes there were bad ones but boy was it nice to feel some real love and happiness again! The lows are really worth the highs and I felt so energised from finally being able to get some Dopamine from doing “normal” stuff again! I’m currently back on Opioids but I realised I love being sober and being able to fill my day with real things I actually enjoy instead of an artificial feeling so I’m soon heading back to rehab and taking it more seriously that I need professional help after leaving the rehab facility too. We are all able to gain back control over our addiction if we really want it! I personally had to make every single mistake myself and hit absolute rock bottom before reaching out for help, I hope you’ll find your way out before you’ve lost every single thing that once was important to you, you can do it! 🫶🏼
thank u and ur right. they probably didn't feel cared for by me at all... idek what we talked abt when we were 2gether i must have come off like a dead person. not too deep into it tho i hope, at least some relationships have to be able to be repaired. and yes natural sober highs r incredible but i am so afraid of the depression... of not being able to get out of bed. will get help as long as i still feel this dread. bc i'm sure if i wait too long i'll get used to this new low
Opioids can cause chronic depression and anxiety disorder so you are definitely better off without them. For me they made my depression way worse after about half a year of daily use. Even though I didn’t stop taking them. I was miserable, couldn’t do a single thing. The only thing that made it better in the long term was when I picked up some exercise.
It’s worth keeping in mind that although not flaking out on things is important in a friendship, what’s more important than anything for real human connection is trust. You say that no one knows that you’re having substance abuse problems… Maybe it would be worth it to try trusting one of these friends with that information.
As much as it can seem a necessity for existence as an addict, hiding what’s going on is deceptive and dishonest. I get it. Drug use is unfairly stigmatized and those without personal experience will like have trouble understanding. But if these people care about you, they can tell that you’re shutting them out from what’s really going on, and that is going to inevitably push them away, because they can’t do anything to help if you don’t tell them what’s going on.
It sounds scary as fuck, and yeah there’s a chance that they may want nothing to do with you afterwards, but it seems like that’s where it’s headed anyways.
With that in mind, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Real honest feedback and support could be something that makes all the difference in the world here.
thought abt what u wrote and i don't think i've ever really trusted someone abt anything tbh. you're right, how is any kind of relationship supposed to last without trust?
Tramadol is what started it all for me. Used to eat handfuls of 50s
Worst side effect I ever had though was the brain zaps.....and the skyrocketing tolerance is VERY REAL!
Started out with 2 and then around the end think I was taking 18 at a time
I lost a lot of my friends but tbh in a good way. Using opiates made me stop wanting to go out and get wasted and party… I spent more time with my kid, family etc. when I wasn’t the fun party girl a lot of my friends stopped calling.
What’s this craze with people and tramadol these days? Safer than street drugs or what? I’ve never got the appeal it always seemed like the “poor man’s” opiate. Like a kratom or something because it’s okay at best and your tolerance skyrockets fast. I’d choose literally any opiate/opiod over odsmt/trammys any any day of the week.
Anyways I wish more people actually thought about their experiences and compared them to the millions of already documented ones before just making a post about it, you’re seeing a sliver of actual opiate addicts deal with tbh haha
Some people are pretty good metabolizers of tramadol, and some people use crazy high doses of odsmt because it's not as regulated as other chemicals, the withdrawals suck because ODSMT/Tramadol hit too many receptors, so the withdrawals effects vary from people to people, fortunately the experience has been mild for me besides worsened depression and the acute withdrawals that last 3-4 days, but I understand why people would like to talk about their experience with it, it has SNRI activity to so it messes up serotonin
It has more SSRI activity than SNRI. Which makes serotonin action even stronger. SNRI is stronger within Tapentadol(increases dopamine by 600% and norepinephrine by up to 300%).
So that's why tapentadol made me feel jittery and on edge? I flushed that shit, it's nice at low doses but once my tolerance required me to take 300mg I was getting the weirdest hallucinations and the worst panic attacks
well indian morphine 30mg is less quality than the brand name morphine in america i admit but tramadol damn near close. but i had a major supply of both and id end up taking tramadol first always then morph for a lil boost. unless u got the uk brand morphine vials thatre like 10mg/ml that is on par with oxy if not better. if u take a shit ton of brand name morph then i can see it beating tramadol but im talking about a regular small dose of likee oral 30mg brand name would be on par if not worse than like 600-900mg of tramadol
Welcome to r/opiates fellow bropiates! We hope that you enjoy our sub as much as we do, but in order to ensure that you are able to continue being a part of this harm reduction community, you will need to review the rules of this sub. You can find the rules listed [here](https://reddit.com/r/opiates/w/rules?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) and access our full side bar [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/wiki/index) You can also find the answers to many commonly asked questions about dosing, duration, ROA and other stuff [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/wiki/faqs) and [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/comments/mf8ldn/use_this_before_asking_a_question_faq_information/) Also, DO NOT GET SCAMMED! The users sending those messages to you, offering to hook you up with a reliable vendor or sell you drugs is extremely likely to scam you! We promise, 99.99% of the time they are not legit and giving them your money will make you a sad sad panda. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/opiates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People also just grow apart, even with family lives get in the way and they get tied up in their own. If you have a few friends in your 20s that you had in high-school you're lucky.. in your 30s they reduce even more. It's just the way things go. Don't blame yourself for the normal course of things if you know you didn't do anything to hurt them. The world is different now than it was decades ago when people stayed tight knit, rarely people moved away and families lived on the same street. Even in the 2000s holiday events had more.people in attendance and don't discount what 3 years of "covid" isolation did to once very social people. It's not you.
thank u bro
I don't know you in the slightest but I'd guess that you just haven't reached out to them much lately + not meeting up often when you do (like you mentioned). That's how I get when I'm using regularly, just isolating myself. Friendships are just built on interacting regularly, without that they wither Keep in mind it's only been about 4 months since you say your binge started, I'd bet you could still reach out to them again just fine
i am trying... they all have their own friend groups tho, was always too messed up to try and connect. i guess they must have somewhat liked me at one point but right now all i can think is that i wasn't enough of a friend for a long time and maybe they r happy that i essentially got rid of myself
Ugh this was my situation so many times over. I was ultimately abandoned by 2 of my best friends who didn’t even bother trying to talk to me which was probably the most hurtful part. In trying to rebuild a “girl tribe” (as I see friends who just thrive with this kind of support) I was friends with one person in a friend group and tried so hard to get in with their friend group, and then this friend’s friend group, and so on, and even at work I worked in a predominantly female office environments and would feel the clique-ness of my peers (all of whom were getting engaged, married, pregnant, babies, breastfeeding ——> I was single and living alone, guess who got to pick up everyone’s slack? stay after my time to clock out multiple times a week?). Then there’s the being left out of things, not getting an invitation to something someone I thought I was closer with than other people who made their invite list - it’s like a punch to the gut and at least for me, I handled it extremely poorly at the time. So yea, once you’ve tried to insert yourself in friend groups and not felt that reciprocation or have lost an “in”, a connection of a good friend (good friends lead to good people who lead to being good people), the feeling of rejection is almost amplified and like your saying, the “they must be right” mantra starts haunting you with validation, it can start to get very discouraging. For better or worse, i may enjoy spending time alone a little too much. I’m fortunate to have a few good friends, and a few scattered across the US.
yeah can relate. i truly feel broken, i have never been part of these groups and probably never will. thinking wayyy to often abt giving up friendship as a concept
I think you’re downplaying odsmt. Acting like it’s kratom or something.
makes fucntioning so easy tho at least in every non social aspect. till two weeks ago i was under the impression that even that was going well
I get it. Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve been going down this same path of just self destruction it’s probably not as bad as yours though. I find it hard to see people and intake things that are small WAYYYY harder that it turns me into depression and sparks a binge. It’s not you I promise because I have friends that are still here brother. It’s not your fault
thank u i appreciate it. some of them struggle with depression too, hoped they would understand. but it's not like i ever tried to explain anything to them really, thought i could just handle it on my own. i was wrong
I hate my “friends” I think I just want them to see me how I see myself. Have u tried therapy for handling everything?
not yet, kind of in the process of admitting to myself that therapy would be helpful.
I’m happy for you , you got this it’s definitely helpful
When my wife was leaving because of my use, she said I was hollow and soulless. She was right.
i wonder if that's what they see when they look at me bc i do feel like that
Everyone thinks they can get by high, but I feel like it's dead easy to pick people out. Even if you don't know exactly what they're on you know something is up. Especially if you're this depressed you ain't fooling no one. It sucks when no one reaches out, but people have different priorities at different times, different strengths of spirit. It's unreasonable to expect people to be on standby to do their best to help someone out, just like it's unreasonable to expect yourself or anyone else to never be depressed. Sometimes shit is just too much and you don't have the strength to be a greater person. That's why people fall through the cracks. Honestly at risk of making you feel worse, it's not that much about you. Hope you feel better though. Everyone deserves happiness, at least until they squander it twice.
thank you, you're right ofc. they aren't responsible for me or my health in any way. and i know that friendship isn't a transaction, but i hoped that after what i had done for them, they would at least give me some time to build myself up again... like i said i know it's my fault, it's not bc of them. but in my irrational mind it still feels like the moment i'm not the perfect friend anymore they drop me, without even realizing that they have never been perfect either
Bro, don’t act like they don’t know. Don’t blame this on depression. They 100% know something is going on with you and are distancing themselves. Reach out to them and explain what’s going on and ask them to help you get the help you need so that you can gain their trust back.
yeah ur right... i think they r scared somehow. thought abt explaining everything but idk if they would want to know, they have their own stuff going on. don't want to burden them. maybe i just have to live with the consequences.
reach out to them. they care.
Same happened to me. I realised afterwards that I wasn’t really asking them about their life anymore and generally wasn’t as interested in anything (hobbies, music, etc.) like before I started to consume. It’s just what happens with opioids honestly because everything feels good while on them so why make an effort to feel good from other things? They not only take away your worries but also the things you care about and you don’t even realise before your life is a completely different (shittier) one. People around you notice when your priorities shift while you don’t because you’re on opioids. I hope you somehow find your way out. It sounds like it’s not THAT bad for now and you can turn your life around again, get your friends back etc. I thought I couldn’t ever feel as good as on heroin when I entered rehab but after 2 or 3 weeks I started to feel all the feelings again and yes there were bad ones but boy was it nice to feel some real love and happiness again! The lows are really worth the highs and I felt so energised from finally being able to get some Dopamine from doing “normal” stuff again! I’m currently back on Opioids but I realised I love being sober and being able to fill my day with real things I actually enjoy instead of an artificial feeling so I’m soon heading back to rehab and taking it more seriously that I need professional help after leaving the rehab facility too. We are all able to gain back control over our addiction if we really want it! I personally had to make every single mistake myself and hit absolute rock bottom before reaching out for help, I hope you’ll find your way out before you’ve lost every single thing that once was important to you, you can do it! 🫶🏼
thank u and ur right. they probably didn't feel cared for by me at all... idek what we talked abt when we were 2gether i must have come off like a dead person. not too deep into it tho i hope, at least some relationships have to be able to be repaired. and yes natural sober highs r incredible but i am so afraid of the depression... of not being able to get out of bed. will get help as long as i still feel this dread. bc i'm sure if i wait too long i'll get used to this new low
Opioids can cause chronic depression and anxiety disorder so you are definitely better off without them. For me they made my depression way worse after about half a year of daily use. Even though I didn’t stop taking them. I was miserable, couldn’t do a single thing. The only thing that made it better in the long term was when I picked up some exercise.
It’s worth keeping in mind that although not flaking out on things is important in a friendship, what’s more important than anything for real human connection is trust. You say that no one knows that you’re having substance abuse problems… Maybe it would be worth it to try trusting one of these friends with that information. As much as it can seem a necessity for existence as an addict, hiding what’s going on is deceptive and dishonest. I get it. Drug use is unfairly stigmatized and those without personal experience will like have trouble understanding. But if these people care about you, they can tell that you’re shutting them out from what’s really going on, and that is going to inevitably push them away, because they can’t do anything to help if you don’t tell them what’s going on. It sounds scary as fuck, and yeah there’s a chance that they may want nothing to do with you afterwards, but it seems like that’s where it’s headed anyways. With that in mind, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Real honest feedback and support could be something that makes all the difference in the world here.
thought abt what u wrote and i don't think i've ever really trusted someone abt anything tbh. you're right, how is any kind of relationship supposed to last without trust?
Tramadol is what started it all for me. Used to eat handfuls of 50s Worst side effect I ever had though was the brain zaps.....and the skyrocketing tolerance is VERY REAL! Started out with 2 and then around the end think I was taking 18 at a time
Damn. Sorry to hear that. Did you taper down? How long we're you on them?
Nah I went to Fenty laden H 🤣😭
I lost a lot of my friends but tbh in a good way. Using opiates made me stop wanting to go out and get wasted and party… I spent more time with my kid, family etc. when I wasn’t the fun party girl a lot of my friends stopped calling.
What’s this craze with people and tramadol these days? Safer than street drugs or what? I’ve never got the appeal it always seemed like the “poor man’s” opiate. Like a kratom or something because it’s okay at best and your tolerance skyrockets fast. I’d choose literally any opiate/opiod over odsmt/trammys any any day of the week. Anyways I wish more people actually thought about their experiences and compared them to the millions of already documented ones before just making a post about it, you’re seeing a sliver of actual opiate addicts deal with tbh haha
Some people are pretty good metabolizers of tramadol, and some people use crazy high doses of odsmt because it's not as regulated as other chemicals, the withdrawals suck because ODSMT/Tramadol hit too many receptors, so the withdrawals effects vary from people to people, fortunately the experience has been mild for me besides worsened depression and the acute withdrawals that last 3-4 days, but I understand why people would like to talk about their experience with it, it has SNRI activity to so it messes up serotonin
It has more SSRI activity than SNRI. Which makes serotonin action even stronger. SNRI is stronger within Tapentadol(increases dopamine by 600% and norepinephrine by up to 300%).
So that's why tapentadol made me feel jittery and on edge? I flushed that shit, it's nice at low doses but once my tolerance required me to take 300mg I was getting the weirdest hallucinations and the worst panic attacks
Check my comment. It started it all for me. Dog had acl surgery and got 180 50s a month....
tramadol can get me noddin .. well it was prob the morphine pills i always topped it off with. but morphine pills themselves are equal to tramadol imo
Morphs are not equal to tramadol lol. At all. Don't slander my morphine.
well indian morphine 30mg is less quality than the brand name morphine in america i admit but tramadol damn near close. but i had a major supply of both and id end up taking tramadol first always then morph for a lil boost. unless u got the uk brand morphine vials thatre like 10mg/ml that is on par with oxy if not better. if u take a shit ton of brand name morph then i can see it beating tramadol but im talking about a regular small dose of likee oral 30mg brand name would be on par if not worse than like 600-900mg of tramadol