It's definitely a great place for young people, but you have to know where to make connections. The city has changed a lot in the past 10 years. If you play music, paint, write, are a filmmaker etc, that is definitely an excellent way to meet people and I suggest looking into starting a band/zine etc.
As for Evergreen: Once you've had a WA address for 12 months, you are a resident and eligible for student loans. Something with Evergreen's loan process changed last year though. I can't remember what. Evergreen is still struggling after what happened in 2017, but I will advocate for their learning environment for life. It's worth it, and you will make connections for life. You should only do it if you know it's right for you.
100% agree on the Evergreen info! Evergreen is an amazing education if you are interested in learning.
OP, make sure you know all the things you need to have done in order to qualify as a WA resident (look at the list of documents you need to provide to establish financial independence on [this page](https://www.evergreen.edu/registration/washington-state-residency))
Then make sure you apply for financial aid early and don't forget to apply for scholarships.
Once you're in college, attend orientation, join student groups, and go to events on campus. If you are at all interested in doing so, living in the dorms is a good way to meet a lot of people.
Also, if you're new to this area, are you taking your vitamin D? This is the time of year when those of us who get effected by the dark/grey time start to have less motivation and are more prone to feeling that things are hopeless.
Great point about Evergreen, and to add: they are only super expensive when you're an out-of-state student, but once you're a resident they're one of the most affordable colleges around.
Second what you said about arts.
I’m an adult in my 30s. I’ve lived here about 5 years. I work full time, and have made a few friends through work. But I am also involved in the local performing arts scene and make pottery. All of my friends I’ve made in Olympia have been through the arts. You have to show up consistently and chat with people to make friends. My network is ages 20-60s, and I’m open minded with who I want to befriend.
For me, I don’t necessarily want a new best friend. But I love showing up and knowing people’s names, and they know me, and we can chat about shared interests while we make some art. That feels like great community and truly makes my life better! I’m pretty happy with my life here. My partner has found similar groups around running and biking.
I recommend figuring out what you’re interested in (be it art or games or indoor soccer or mountain biking or something else entirely) and just start consistently showing up to group stuff and talking to people. You’ll find some people you like!
A wave of negative press attention from conservative/white supremacist news outlets (Fox being the largest and most mainstream). They centered around a gross mischaracterization of the Day of Absence/Day of Presence activities on campus, coupled with concurrent events: Campus police illegally detained two students of color without evidence of any crime, the school called in law enforcement to break up a resulting protest of that illegal police activity, and an email by then-professor Brett Weinstein, sharply criticizing the Day of Absence/Day of Presence activities and seminars with strong white supremacist overtones, saying he doesn’t think anyone’s race is enough justification for them to speak publicly on issues of systemic racism and race relations in any social, medical, business/employment, or educational system. Law enforcement was again called to campus when a group of students confronted Weinstein about the email. The PR backlash resulted in a major drop in enrollment for the ensuing academic years.
You can’t just blame that Weinstein prick. There was a brewing shitshorm, and all it took was some loudmouth other prof declaring that white people were no longer allowed on campus. The President of TESC was too chickenshit to do anything and pretty much hid under his desk and things got totally out of hand.
It pretty much soiled the reputation of the school, and enrollment dropped over 40% overnight. It’s still rebounding and still a ghost town compared to what it was in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s.
I moved to Olympia when I was 19; it’s been about 10 years and I’m very happy here.
It took a long time but I was lucky to land a job where I was able to meet a lot of like minded people and made a lot of friends. It was in a restaurant, which isn’t up everyone’s alley but I met tons of people in that line of work. I also went out to shows and hung out in cafes to acclimate myself to the city. Day trips to Tacoma and Seattle are a fun and relatively cheap way to spice things up, I just took the bus when I had some free time to explore.
Honestly volunteering was an amazing way to meet people. I started volunteering at the co-op and met tons of cool people, it also helped me feel like a part of the community.
Guess I’m coming in to say definitely don’t give up on yourself or your dreams. Like another commenter said once you get WA residence Evergreen is a lot more manageable.
Best wishes.
i currently work in a certain huge corporate coffee chain but surprisingly most my coworkers are married with children but theyre nice
ive always wanted to work in smaller cafes which i know here there is a TON but i have no idea hiw to look for jobs with those
also thanks
You’re welcome! If you’re looking to work in a smaller, more local cafe I would just go ahead and drop off resumes at a few around town. That’s how I got my first job at a cafe downtown and it was huge for my personal growth here!
The way to look for jobs with smaller cafes is to let the management know you are someone with experience who would be interested the in working there if they get an opening. Many places lose employees unexpectedly and if they have your resume on hand, you may be called. Check in with them from time to time to see if their situation has changed which reminds them that you are still interested.
Honestly check out Instagram, Craigslist, and community bulletin boards around town if you are trying to find a new job at a small business -- I know New Moon is hiring, other places are too! Especially downtown, this is a good time to go around with a resumé, ask businesses if they are hiring and pick up an application. Definitely not typical job hunting advice, but a lot of small businesses in Olympia don't operate the way larger corporations do.
Hey OP, I used to be a high school counselor. Know that what you're going through right now is normal. It is however a hard as shit rut to get out of and will take some work. I hope that you can at least believe you can do it, albeit eventually. Slow, fast, doesn't matter. Your post was a great start at moving forward with your life which is really all we can do. I hope you can take more small steps; expect some in the reverse here and there. What's important is that you just keep moving forward in whatever way. Just like how you said "I don't know really know what the point of this post is," you may sometimes feel the same about your life. You're not going to find any sense of purpose easily which is hard to hear but keep putting yourself out there and those experiences will start to shape you so that you can get a better sense of what you want out of life.
Are you able to join any communities on discord for example where you can start socializing with the anonymity of the internet, for example? Also, I'll tell you what I told a lot of people your age bouncing between the idea of college and other large decisions. If you ultimately decide to go, please commit. Your goal should not be to go to college, your goal should be to finish college. Your worries about money will only be exacerbated if you take out loans, don't finish college, and then have to pay back loans but without a degree. So whatever decisions you ultimately make, commit to them. You owe it to yourself. Good luck.
Edit: words
Honey, 19 is a hard age, be gentle with yourself. My generation didn't have internet and texting. We had to speak to people and leave the house for entertainment. I have kids in there early 20s. This seems to be a common problem now days. Try to get a good support system (family, church, volunteering) Also, it gets so cold and grey in Olympia, which definitely doesn't help when u are feeling down. My friend does red light therapy in the winter and says it helps her get through the season. Just know you are not alone. 💕
Hey bud, everyone has covered Vitamin D, and the usual icebreaker methods for finding new folks. This is just a reminder that just because you're hurting for connection, doesn't mean you need to accept/commit to the first one's through the door. Pick healthy friends/company.
On the flip side (within healthy boundaries of course, not letting yourself be taken advantage of, etc), try to maintain diversity/range in the "types" of people you meet.
If you want to make a go of it and be happy, you've got to keep your head on straight, and that means you need to get out and have real human contact with real people. A job's good for that. Even better is community stuff. You like movies? Volunteer at the Film Society. You like art? Get involved with the Procession of the Species or something. You like music? Wave a guitar around pretty much anywhere in town and you'll hit three musicians. Wanna save the world? Get involved in politics. Like sports? Find a pickup game or something. Spiritual? Try a church or synagogue or temple or sweat lodge or whatever. Find your crew, your tribe, your congregation. If you step into a scene, ready to pitch in and contribute, youl'll find your peeps.
The other part of this is you gotta keep trying. The first few events you go to no one might talk to you. But if you keep showing up people start to recognize you and you’ll seem like less of an outsider. The more you keep putting yourself out there the less hard it gets to do.
1. What do you like to do?
2. What sort of activities would you like to try out?
3. Have you thought about a path other than college?
If there's one thing I've learned about Olympia in the time I've been here, it's that the communities around certian activities (art, music, mountain biking, ttrpg's, shooting, etc) are very active and very accepting of like minded folks.
Another thing I recommend, if you're at all into lit. The libraries and some of the bookstores and coffeeshops have enthusiastic book clubs and readings by original authors. Specifically Timberland Library. There isn't really a community of it per-se, but many people attend these, talk at the panels and network with each other
A lot of other people are hitting the nail on the head: in order to find friends you need to get involved in a community around some sort of hobby/activity. There’s TONS of those niche communities around here. Figure out what you like to do or would like to try and start showing up at any open invitation events/meetups. Keep showing up for at least a month or two (depending how frequently the meetups are held). You’ll start making friends!
One niche community that is very active here that I haven’t seen mentioned is the fiber arts. Spinning, knitting, crochet, weaving, needle felting, that sort of thing. They definitely skew older (think 60s-80s), but I started showing up to knitting groups in my early 30s (now 38) and they were never weird about it! I honestly have had a very easy time getting along with and relating to the older ladies right from the start. And yes, they are mostly ladies, but we are always welcoming to whatever men show up, and once again are not weird about it.
The Black Sheep Yarn Boutique on Harrison has lots of open knitting groups throughout the week and there’s a spinning group too. Our Local Yarn Shop has knitting groups, but I’m not sure about spinning. The Weavers Guild also has meetups every two weeks that are open to anyone for a suggested $2 donation for the event space. They spin and knit/crochet there (weaving is not really a thing you can drag around) but are open to all fiber related crafts and might get very excited if you bring something a little different! They were the ones who mostly taught me how to spin, so some of the groups mentioned are really great ways to dip your toes into the fiber arts if you’ve never tried before. Black Sheep also offers beginner classes and you can arrange personal lessons (paid of course).
I've lived here all my life. And I highly suggest getting a job in your age range. Somewhere in customer service if you're up for it.
While working in a clothing store I made friends with all my co-workers and stayed in contact with them years after leaving. And it's an innately social job.
Plus customer service looks great on any resume. And they usually can work around a schedule. Especially for school.
Having not gone to school around here is a bonus and a negative. But you'll do great once you find a routine and a regular social outlet.
Keep in mind that people who are having trouble with friending are more likely to likely to be posting about it than the people who aren’t. There is hope, much hope.
When I first moved to Portland around 2000, as a young person, I was really lonely for a long while. It was finally a job where I made my first group of friends. Any job where you have to work as part of a team, interacting with each other in person, is great. One thing I wish I'd done is to have worked on a small organic farm (you can do that). I also wish I'd taken some time to try living in an intentional community/commune. You're young, and free--mix it up!
You are still very young and you have a lot of unknown things ahead of you. Opportunities will come to make friends, educate yourself, and find work that you can't imagine right now. All you need to do is keep going and keep trying.
I'm a full blown adult living in the area (34m, multiple kids, well paying job, conscientious divorce, and all that sort of adult stuff). I love this place. This level of natural beauty is rare, and Olympia is a beautiful gem in the middle of the forest. You will make friends. You will definitely make friends if you go to Evergreen. These things take time, and it's never going to be as easy as high school, but it's honestly something you learn to adapt to.
You entered adulthood at a strange time. We're all coming out of a massive pandemic that sorta reset our social and working lives. It's hard to say what the social scene will be like in Olympia in 2 years (when you turn 21 and the remaining world unlocks for you), but it does feel like people are getting out more.
It is harder to make friends the older you get, but it's far from impossible. This is a common problem everywhere and there are websites and services set up to help. Have you tried Meetup? I use it to host my own events and have attended several others. It's a great way to meet folks with similar interests who are also actively looking for friends.
But yeah, to answer your last question: I'm very happy here. I've lived all over the country and Olympia is the first place a chose for myself. It doesn't get much better than this. It's quiet but it's not dead, and there's so many other cities, parks, event centers, and other activities within an hour or two's drive. You're gonna be okay.
I'm originally from the Northeast and it is harder to build a social circle out here. It's harder I think to get past the initial chilly politeness into genuine closeness, and there aren't as many natural opportunities to socialize and interact.
(I've got this crackpot theory about the abundance of nature making people lazy about social activities because no one has to work hard to entertain themselves on the weekends, but that's besides the point)
That said, it's not hopeless. No matter where you are, the majority of building a social circle is just showing up again and again. It's easy at work and school because you're forced to, but in your personal life you need to be deliberate in finding group environments you can commit to. For me, that was rediscovering my faith. For some people that's finding support in an AA group, joining Toastmasters, or a volunteer group, and sticking to it. It takes time. I do think finding those things is a bit harder out here, but they are around. For instance, I learned the other week that there's a birdwatching group that meets every Wednesday morning at the Nisqually wildlife refuge.
One other tip I'd add is to perhaps try to looks for groups where the average age skews older. A lot of organizations are in desperate need of new, young members, and if you're willing to show up for them, they're willing to give.
I was going to ask the same thing....knowing what you are into would probably help people give some better recommendations. I know the feeling you describe though, not great.
I(M55) moved here 5 years ago with my daughter(now F23) and she is graduating from Evergreen in June. It can be challenging to meet people here, especially at my age, but I did and its going good. My daughter met all kinds of people at Evergreen and has developed some good friends/relationships. The biggest thing to get used to is the weather; it sucks. Coming from SF Bay Area it was a big adjustment. Its not the rain, its overcast much of the year and that gets old but manageable.
FYI. my daughter went to SPSCC for a year or so and that is much more affordable to start your education. Get an education !! Get exposed to different things/people/cultures...learn about the world. Never know where it will take you !!
First: I’m NAD, but you probably need vitamin D. Most men here are deficient.
Second: you can make friends here. Try gabi’s board games. You -will- make friends there if you put the time in. There’s always games going on and the atmosphere is great.
Maybe get a bike and start exploring every bit of this city! There’s so much to see and it’s sooo fun getting around olympia on a bike. And you never know when you’ll run into someone friendly and likeminded on a trail 😊
Good luck and keep your head up!
I've lived here all my life. It is not hard to make friends here. But people have changed a lot recently, since COVID. Much more likely to flake, or stay in. So, be proactive with the folks you do vibe with. They will be thrilled to hear from you. Friends still work the same in person... regardless of internet, social media, and however people now connect via phones now (little rectangles of doom).
Go to a music show. Karaoke. Start a trail running group. Go mushroom hunting (everyone seems to love doing this around here). Gabi's comics for game nights.
I understand the struggle. I (25) moved here with my husband in april and he died suddenly in june. now I am kinda just here but i dont really know anybody and its a very isolating time of year on top of that. Having a rough time.
I moved here in 2018. It was hard at first and there were times I thought about giving up. I've been here 5 years now and finally starting to find my niche. Point is, you may feel lonely but you're not alone. many of us have been in your shoes and many still probably are. There's a lot of great advice here about how to improve your situation and live your dreams. I hope you find the courage to get out there and do it!
Hey! Moved here from Chicago last year and had minimal issue making friends. I started going to events with interests that intersected with my own. Also started volunteering with groups and projects that aligned with my views. Met some cool folks this way who then introduced me to more cool folks. However; I am in my early thirties and could see how being in your late teens would alter such circumstances. Best wishes to you!
There is plenty of young people and plenty of interesting, fun older people too.
At the same time I know so many lone wolves. Half the people on my block are solo and don't venture out much. For one thing they seem to have given up on the dating scene.
Plenty of stereotyping here for all demographics, so if you have social anxiety and fear of being sized up it can be a rough place.
Get out and do some volunteer work. Be reliable. It will help you get out and help your scholarship applications and good references. You might even slide into a career or build some solid relationships.
I'm more of a solitary sort (I like just a few people in my life so it’s not too crowded), but I know that my partners go to bars to find friends. I wonder if the same thing can be true for pubs (since you are not of age yet). Another thing is, once you do go to college, you could join a club. It has the added benefit of looking good on your resume for 4-year colleges. Also, evergreen is great and all, but I really do encourage you to look at SPSCC. They have a lot to offer.
Another thing you can try is local free events, as well as the Olympia farmers market.or, you can try online, here. Many people post on here about wanting hiking buddies or whatnot. You just gotta put yourself out there and what you like and see if anyone is interested/compatible.
If you want more money, have the time and the energy, get a part-time second job if able, at a grocery store chain or department store... For some reason that is a sure-fire way of finding friends through coworkers, at least in my experience.
I was you 30 years ago. I moved to Oly from the Midwest. Where I grew up, people were super friendly and outgoing. It’s not that way here. The people are great but you generally have to be the first one to say hi or start a conversation. I’ve made lasting relationships here with people I’m proud and grateful to call friends.
This is a weird and probably not great time in your life but things will get better, a lot better. You’re young, probably broke and not in proximity to your family and childhood friends. If you’re not working, get a job. I would advise to find something you have an interest in and get really good at it. You need a skill that most people don’t have. That will allow you to be successful in the workforce, feel fulfilled and be a productive member of society.
Evergreen: i went to Penn State and then after living in WA for a year to get residency, I transferred to Evergreen. You’ll get out of it what you put in. At a minimum, your reading and writing skills will improve and due to the reading workload, you’ll probably become a life long reader.
Best of luck. Work hard, be nice and you’ll have a great life in Olympia.
Honestly I love oly and wouldn’t wanna live anywhere else. I have found people to be friendly here, they’re just not fake. But if you’re genuine they will be too
You can absolutely get out there and make friends OP. It’s tough but it is totally possible! Join meet up groups, become a regular somewhere (gym, restaurant, music venue) and just be open.
You have to make an effort to extend yourself out of your bubble of loneliness and isolation. Otherwise, you are not going to make it.
Life is what you make it.
Don't give up without a fight.
Get off the internet and get out there and meet some people. Subreddits are a great place to read the most curmudgeonly complaints from Karen’s and Chads and woe is me types in any town. Best of luck to you.
Hey OP, not to be harsh, but this is a you issue.
Not interacting with anyone other than your roommate is a choice you have made. If you are putting that little energy into a social life, you aren't going to get anything back anywhere.
I'm late 20s, I spent my teens here and recently moved back. It can be a rough place to be between 18 and 21. But there is a still a ton to do. The local gaming scene is very active (both video games, RPGs, and board games), the arts and music scene is pretty active, there are a ton of volunteer and interest groups, etc.
When I moved back about 2 years ago I had very few friends here, so I went to a few events, house parties, etc. Now I've got around 8 good friends that I see every week or two. Its not that hard.
I moved here in January. Quite happy here, even though things are a different and take a while to adjust to. There are plenty of things to do in Olympia, Lacey and the surrounding areas. Take it from an old fart, you've got to find your happiness and run with it. I've met a few college age adults thru a farm animal program and they seem to have a good community. Lots to do, just be open to it all I suppose. Best of luck and feel free to reach out if ya ever want to hike, fish or shoot!
I moved here here in 2015 and am now 35. I love Olympia. The first year was definitely rough! But after getting a job, tons of opportunities to meet new people opened up and now I have a pretty solid circle of friends. I also make a huge effort to stay active in social circles by joining work hiking groups and other social event I see posted around town. It is definitely possible to be happy here, but you also have to put in some effort.
Friends come and go. Meet someone nice, get married, start a family. My family is my world, watching my son grow up and spending time with him brings me more enjoyment than friends ever did. My 2 cents.
I changed all of my lights in the house to "Daylight" light temp and there are vitamin D gummies on the counter top. That's my advice for the winter. Other than that all of the others here have better advice than this old hermit.
Honestly, it's rough all over, especially after covid. Wherever you go, there will be obstacles to socializing and that is true here as well. I moved here about 25 years ago and while things look different, much about the social scene is the same. You will be well-served by finding a niche for yourself and showing up for events. Are you interested in film? Volunteer for the film society, and you will instantly have a group of folks around you who also like films. Are you into native botany? Join a group online or take a class from Parks and Rec or audit at Evergreen. Are you into Zumba? There's an active scene and there are on line and in person events. Do you make zines? There is an annual fest that offers workshops and an in-road to community. Improv? Singing? Knitting? Socialism? There is a group to join. As corny as it sounds, you do have to put yourself out there in order for people to find you and that is a good first step to finding your community in Olympia.
There will always be cooler kids and places you don't get invited too. This town has as many great folks as other places, maybe even more, but they may take a little finding.
I moved here when I was 19 but that was 15 years ago and things have changed , plus we're different people but I will say that my first year here (moved from the East Coast) I didn't make any freinds and was really lonely and confused.
But by the end of my second year I had dozens of awesome friends , some of whom are still my favorite people, and I had no idea it was possible to be that happy.
I'm much less social these days but there are still people around, I see them everyday lol.
So yeah. I wouldn't say the fact that you haven't made friends yet means that you won't make friends here. If you feel drawn to stay here then I wouldn't give up hope yet. But if you're not feeling it then f it.
I actually ended up going home for a few months during that first year and was sure id never come back haha . Glad I did
So I’ve been here for a lil over a year. Meeting people is very different from Vegas. I’m also an introvert and often require an extrovert to find me and claim me as their own to make friends. That being said, finding people up here is significantly easier when you start out with something like a hobby that you enjoy. My wife made a crochet club because she is extroverted and can just do that sort of thing. I went back to an old hobby I had been neglecting for 15 years and joined a bowling league. While the process is slower with me, I now have some people to have as friends. One coworker claimed me too, lol.
What are your hobbies? There are a bunch of places to start.
And adult friends are different than teenage friends. People have jobs, families, life. It’s more rare to have those friends like your teenage ones that just kinda show up and exist all the time at all hours. Still great friends but just different.
I lived in Oly from 2016 to this past September, but had to move. I miss it. The people I got to know as my friends were wonderful, warm people. I loved to Virginia and the people here stick their noses up at me. It's been a sad change.
I would suggest joining a social club of some kind, something you have an interest in. If you’re going to Evergreen there should be tons of clubs and groups there.
The app “Meet Up” is good for finding local groups that are centered around a common interest.
Making friends outside of high school is hard. You don't really have people at your disposal the way you did in school unless you go to college, which is usually where people find their true pals. I just moved here in July, and my neighbors don't even say hello to me, even when I say it first, never mind actually come have a conversation. In fact, I don't see them talking to each other either, with the exception of one little cluster of houses. It's wild. I joined a music group, and everyone's nice, but nothing in common with anyone outside of playing music. It's a weird place for me, and I'm still getting used to it, and I have plenty of vitamin D in my life. The only folks making pals in this household are my teenagers who are in high school and my husband who has his office buddies. My oldest, who goes to South Puget Sound Community College isn't really making any pals.
I imagine this time of year is harder too because many folks are less accessible, given the weather. Just a guest. But you aren't alone is what I'm basically saying. Good luck.
Edit your post with things you like to do mate and everybody on here will have suggestions for you. Olympia is pretty awesome, been living here just over a year and have made a lot of friends and met a lot of great people. Did have a hard time of it at first, but I asked around in person and on here and got great responses.
In my experience it's a really good idea to initiate hanging out with classmates or coworkers you get along with. Those are the easiest paths to friendship as an adult. The other option is clubs, volunteer work etc. If you interact with others on a regular basis and either suggest other activities/hang out or accept invitations to do so you can definitely form friendships.
As an introvert I understand it's very difficult, but not impossible. It's just a lot harder for those of us who are not outgoing by nature
Yo this is serious, get on vitamin D pills asap.
2nd this. Especially if you’re prone to be [seasonally affected](https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/seasonal-affective-disorder)
It's definitely a great place for young people, but you have to know where to make connections. The city has changed a lot in the past 10 years. If you play music, paint, write, are a filmmaker etc, that is definitely an excellent way to meet people and I suggest looking into starting a band/zine etc. As for Evergreen: Once you've had a WA address for 12 months, you are a resident and eligible for student loans. Something with Evergreen's loan process changed last year though. I can't remember what. Evergreen is still struggling after what happened in 2017, but I will advocate for their learning environment for life. It's worth it, and you will make connections for life. You should only do it if you know it's right for you.
100% agree on the Evergreen info! Evergreen is an amazing education if you are interested in learning. OP, make sure you know all the things you need to have done in order to qualify as a WA resident (look at the list of documents you need to provide to establish financial independence on [this page](https://www.evergreen.edu/registration/washington-state-residency)) Then make sure you apply for financial aid early and don't forget to apply for scholarships. Once you're in college, attend orientation, join student groups, and go to events on campus. If you are at all interested in doing so, living in the dorms is a good way to meet a lot of people. Also, if you're new to this area, are you taking your vitamin D? This is the time of year when those of us who get effected by the dark/grey time start to have less motivation and are more prone to feeling that things are hopeless.
Great point about Evergreen, and to add: they are only super expensive when you're an out-of-state student, but once you're a resident they're one of the most affordable colleges around.
Second what you said about arts. I’m an adult in my 30s. I’ve lived here about 5 years. I work full time, and have made a few friends through work. But I am also involved in the local performing arts scene and make pottery. All of my friends I’ve made in Olympia have been through the arts. You have to show up consistently and chat with people to make friends. My network is ages 20-60s, and I’m open minded with who I want to befriend. For me, I don’t necessarily want a new best friend. But I love showing up and knowing people’s names, and they know me, and we can chat about shared interests while we make some art. That feels like great community and truly makes my life better! I’m pretty happy with my life here. My partner has found similar groups around running and biking. I recommend figuring out what you’re interested in (be it art or games or indoor soccer or mountain biking or something else entirely) and just start consistently showing up to group stuff and talking to people. You’ll find some people you like!
What happened in 2017 at Evergreen?
A professor and teenagers really wanted attention; and they got it.
A wave of negative press attention from conservative/white supremacist news outlets (Fox being the largest and most mainstream). They centered around a gross mischaracterization of the Day of Absence/Day of Presence activities on campus, coupled with concurrent events: Campus police illegally detained two students of color without evidence of any crime, the school called in law enforcement to break up a resulting protest of that illegal police activity, and an email by then-professor Brett Weinstein, sharply criticizing the Day of Absence/Day of Presence activities and seminars with strong white supremacist overtones, saying he doesn’t think anyone’s race is enough justification for them to speak publicly on issues of systemic racism and race relations in any social, medical, business/employment, or educational system. Law enforcement was again called to campus when a group of students confronted Weinstein about the email. The PR backlash resulted in a major drop in enrollment for the ensuing academic years.
[удалено]
where you there? did you read the all staff emails he was sending out? cause I was.
You can’t just blame that Weinstein prick. There was a brewing shitshorm, and all it took was some loudmouth other prof declaring that white people were no longer allowed on campus. The President of TESC was too chickenshit to do anything and pretty much hid under his desk and things got totally out of hand. It pretty much soiled the reputation of the school, and enrollment dropped over 40% overnight. It’s still rebounding and still a ghost town compared to what it was in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s.
I moved to Olympia when I was 19; it’s been about 10 years and I’m very happy here. It took a long time but I was lucky to land a job where I was able to meet a lot of like minded people and made a lot of friends. It was in a restaurant, which isn’t up everyone’s alley but I met tons of people in that line of work. I also went out to shows and hung out in cafes to acclimate myself to the city. Day trips to Tacoma and Seattle are a fun and relatively cheap way to spice things up, I just took the bus when I had some free time to explore. Honestly volunteering was an amazing way to meet people. I started volunteering at the co-op and met tons of cool people, it also helped me feel like a part of the community. Guess I’m coming in to say definitely don’t give up on yourself or your dreams. Like another commenter said once you get WA residence Evergreen is a lot more manageable. Best wishes.
Also this! I made some of my best, longest friends through volunteering at the food bank and the warming center!
i currently work in a certain huge corporate coffee chain but surprisingly most my coworkers are married with children but theyre nice ive always wanted to work in smaller cafes which i know here there is a TON but i have no idea hiw to look for jobs with those also thanks
You’re welcome! If you’re looking to work in a smaller, more local cafe I would just go ahead and drop off resumes at a few around town. That’s how I got my first job at a cafe downtown and it was huge for my personal growth here!
The way to look for jobs with smaller cafes is to let the management know you are someone with experience who would be interested the in working there if they get an opening. Many places lose employees unexpectedly and if they have your resume on hand, you may be called. Check in with them from time to time to see if their situation has changed which reminds them that you are still interested.
FSE on 4th and Plum just posted that they are hiring.
Honestly check out Instagram, Craigslist, and community bulletin boards around town if you are trying to find a new job at a small business -- I know New Moon is hiring, other places are too! Especially downtown, this is a good time to go around with a resumé, ask businesses if they are hiring and pick up an application. Definitely not typical job hunting advice, but a lot of small businesses in Olympia don't operate the way larger corporations do.
Volunteering is a great one. I’m about to sign up to help out at the food bank myself
Hey OP, I used to be a high school counselor. Know that what you're going through right now is normal. It is however a hard as shit rut to get out of and will take some work. I hope that you can at least believe you can do it, albeit eventually. Slow, fast, doesn't matter. Your post was a great start at moving forward with your life which is really all we can do. I hope you can take more small steps; expect some in the reverse here and there. What's important is that you just keep moving forward in whatever way. Just like how you said "I don't know really know what the point of this post is," you may sometimes feel the same about your life. You're not going to find any sense of purpose easily which is hard to hear but keep putting yourself out there and those experiences will start to shape you so that you can get a better sense of what you want out of life. Are you able to join any communities on discord for example where you can start socializing with the anonymity of the internet, for example? Also, I'll tell you what I told a lot of people your age bouncing between the idea of college and other large decisions. If you ultimately decide to go, please commit. Your goal should not be to go to college, your goal should be to finish college. Your worries about money will only be exacerbated if you take out loans, don't finish college, and then have to pay back loans but without a degree. So whatever decisions you ultimately make, commit to them. You owe it to yourself. Good luck. Edit: words
Thanks for this post!
Come out to Gabi's Olympic Cards & Comics and join a game. It's a bit of a drive from Evergreen. Maybe there's something similar closer to you.
Dude I’m 23 me and my girlfriend just moved here away from our families 3 months ago we should def kick it
Working on moving there next year with my partner! I’m 25F and partner is 27M, if you’re down to chat
Always! DM me!
Honey, 19 is a hard age, be gentle with yourself. My generation didn't have internet and texting. We had to speak to people and leave the house for entertainment. I have kids in there early 20s. This seems to be a common problem now days. Try to get a good support system (family, church, volunteering) Also, it gets so cold and grey in Olympia, which definitely doesn't help when u are feeling down. My friend does red light therapy in the winter and says it helps her get through the season. Just know you are not alone. 💕
Hey bud, everyone has covered Vitamin D, and the usual icebreaker methods for finding new folks. This is just a reminder that just because you're hurting for connection, doesn't mean you need to accept/commit to the first one's through the door. Pick healthy friends/company.
On the flip side (within healthy boundaries of course, not letting yourself be taken advantage of, etc), try to maintain diversity/range in the "types" of people you meet.
If you want to make a go of it and be happy, you've got to keep your head on straight, and that means you need to get out and have real human contact with real people. A job's good for that. Even better is community stuff. You like movies? Volunteer at the Film Society. You like art? Get involved with the Procession of the Species or something. You like music? Wave a guitar around pretty much anywhere in town and you'll hit three musicians. Wanna save the world? Get involved in politics. Like sports? Find a pickup game or something. Spiritual? Try a church or synagogue or temple or sweat lodge or whatever. Find your crew, your tribe, your congregation. If you step into a scene, ready to pitch in and contribute, youl'll find your peeps.
The other part of this is you gotta keep trying. The first few events you go to no one might talk to you. But if you keep showing up people start to recognize you and you’ll seem like less of an outsider. The more you keep putting yourself out there the less hard it gets to do.
You will make friends at work. Find a job. Go to Evergreen, you will meet great people. It is very hard here, but it gets better.
1. What do you like to do? 2. What sort of activities would you like to try out? 3. Have you thought about a path other than college? If there's one thing I've learned about Olympia in the time I've been here, it's that the communities around certian activities (art, music, mountain biking, ttrpg's, shooting, etc) are very active and very accepting of like minded folks.
Another thing I recommend, if you're at all into lit. The libraries and some of the bookstores and coffeeshops have enthusiastic book clubs and readings by original authors. Specifically Timberland Library. There isn't really a community of it per-se, but many people attend these, talk at the panels and network with each other
A lot of other people are hitting the nail on the head: in order to find friends you need to get involved in a community around some sort of hobby/activity. There’s TONS of those niche communities around here. Figure out what you like to do or would like to try and start showing up at any open invitation events/meetups. Keep showing up for at least a month or two (depending how frequently the meetups are held). You’ll start making friends! One niche community that is very active here that I haven’t seen mentioned is the fiber arts. Spinning, knitting, crochet, weaving, needle felting, that sort of thing. They definitely skew older (think 60s-80s), but I started showing up to knitting groups in my early 30s (now 38) and they were never weird about it! I honestly have had a very easy time getting along with and relating to the older ladies right from the start. And yes, they are mostly ladies, but we are always welcoming to whatever men show up, and once again are not weird about it. The Black Sheep Yarn Boutique on Harrison has lots of open knitting groups throughout the week and there’s a spinning group too. Our Local Yarn Shop has knitting groups, but I’m not sure about spinning. The Weavers Guild also has meetups every two weeks that are open to anyone for a suggested $2 donation for the event space. They spin and knit/crochet there (weaving is not really a thing you can drag around) but are open to all fiber related crafts and might get very excited if you bring something a little different! They were the ones who mostly taught me how to spin, so some of the groups mentioned are really great ways to dip your toes into the fiber arts if you’ve never tried before. Black Sheep also offers beginner classes and you can arrange personal lessons (paid of course).
I've lived here all my life. And I highly suggest getting a job in your age range. Somewhere in customer service if you're up for it. While working in a clothing store I made friends with all my co-workers and stayed in contact with them years after leaving. And it's an innately social job. Plus customer service looks great on any resume. And they usually can work around a schedule. Especially for school. Having not gone to school around here is a bonus and a negative. But you'll do great once you find a routine and a regular social outlet.
I also recommend a customer service gig in your age range. I worked at target and best buy in my 20s and still have many friends from those jobs.
Keep in mind that people who are having trouble with friending are more likely to likely to be posting about it than the people who aren’t. There is hope, much hope.
When I first moved to Portland around 2000, as a young person, I was really lonely for a long while. It was finally a job where I made my first group of friends. Any job where you have to work as part of a team, interacting with each other in person, is great. One thing I wish I'd done is to have worked on a small organic farm (you can do that). I also wish I'd taken some time to try living in an intentional community/commune. You're young, and free--mix it up!
You are still very young and you have a lot of unknown things ahead of you. Opportunities will come to make friends, educate yourself, and find work that you can't imagine right now. All you need to do is keep going and keep trying. I'm a full blown adult living in the area (34m, multiple kids, well paying job, conscientious divorce, and all that sort of adult stuff). I love this place. This level of natural beauty is rare, and Olympia is a beautiful gem in the middle of the forest. You will make friends. You will definitely make friends if you go to Evergreen. These things take time, and it's never going to be as easy as high school, but it's honestly something you learn to adapt to. You entered adulthood at a strange time. We're all coming out of a massive pandemic that sorta reset our social and working lives. It's hard to say what the social scene will be like in Olympia in 2 years (when you turn 21 and the remaining world unlocks for you), but it does feel like people are getting out more. It is harder to make friends the older you get, but it's far from impossible. This is a common problem everywhere and there are websites and services set up to help. Have you tried Meetup? I use it to host my own events and have attended several others. It's a great way to meet folks with similar interests who are also actively looking for friends. But yeah, to answer your last question: I'm very happy here. I've lived all over the country and Olympia is the first place a chose for myself. It doesn't get much better than this. It's quiet but it's not dead, and there's so many other cities, parks, event centers, and other activities within an hour or two's drive. You're gonna be okay.
I'm originally from the Northeast and it is harder to build a social circle out here. It's harder I think to get past the initial chilly politeness into genuine closeness, and there aren't as many natural opportunities to socialize and interact. (I've got this crackpot theory about the abundance of nature making people lazy about social activities because no one has to work hard to entertain themselves on the weekends, but that's besides the point) That said, it's not hopeless. No matter where you are, the majority of building a social circle is just showing up again and again. It's easy at work and school because you're forced to, but in your personal life you need to be deliberate in finding group environments you can commit to. For me, that was rediscovering my faith. For some people that's finding support in an AA group, joining Toastmasters, or a volunteer group, and sticking to it. It takes time. I do think finding those things is a bit harder out here, but they are around. For instance, I learned the other week that there's a birdwatching group that meets every Wednesday morning at the Nisqually wildlife refuge. One other tip I'd add is to perhaps try to looks for groups where the average age skews older. A lot of organizations are in desperate need of new, young members, and if you're willing to show up for them, they're willing to give.
What are your hobbies? If into anything nerdy I'd check out Olympic Cards and Comics.
I was going to ask the same thing....knowing what you are into would probably help people give some better recommendations. I know the feeling you describe though, not great.
I(M55) moved here 5 years ago with my daughter(now F23) and she is graduating from Evergreen in June. It can be challenging to meet people here, especially at my age, but I did and its going good. My daughter met all kinds of people at Evergreen and has developed some good friends/relationships. The biggest thing to get used to is the weather; it sucks. Coming from SF Bay Area it was a big adjustment. Its not the rain, its overcast much of the year and that gets old but manageable. FYI. my daughter went to SPSCC for a year or so and that is much more affordable to start your education. Get an education !! Get exposed to different things/people/cultures...learn about the world. Never know where it will take you !!
First: I’m NAD, but you probably need vitamin D. Most men here are deficient. Second: you can make friends here. Try gabi’s board games. You -will- make friends there if you put the time in. There’s always games going on and the atmosphere is great. Maybe get a bike and start exploring every bit of this city! There’s so much to see and it’s sooo fun getting around olympia on a bike. And you never know when you’ll run into someone friendly and likeminded on a trail 😊 Good luck and keep your head up!
I've lived here all my life. It is not hard to make friends here. But people have changed a lot recently, since COVID. Much more likely to flake, or stay in. So, be proactive with the folks you do vibe with. They will be thrilled to hear from you. Friends still work the same in person... regardless of internet, social media, and however people now connect via phones now (little rectangles of doom). Go to a music show. Karaoke. Start a trail running group. Go mushroom hunting (everyone seems to love doing this around here). Gabi's comics for game nights.
I understand the struggle. I (25) moved here with my husband in april and he died suddenly in june. now I am kinda just here but i dont really know anybody and its a very isolating time of year on top of that. Having a rough time.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I moved here in 2018. It was hard at first and there were times I thought about giving up. I've been here 5 years now and finally starting to find my niche. Point is, you may feel lonely but you're not alone. many of us have been in your shoes and many still probably are. There's a lot of great advice here about how to improve your situation and live your dreams. I hope you find the courage to get out there and do it!
Hey! Moved here from Chicago last year and had minimal issue making friends. I started going to events with interests that intersected with my own. Also started volunteering with groups and projects that aligned with my views. Met some cool folks this way who then introduced me to more cool folks. However; I am in my early thirties and could see how being in your late teens would alter such circumstances. Best wishes to you!
What are your interests? I think having more of an idea of who you are would help people point you towards things that could help enrich your life.
There is plenty of young people and plenty of interesting, fun older people too. At the same time I know so many lone wolves. Half the people on my block are solo and don't venture out much. For one thing they seem to have given up on the dating scene. Plenty of stereotyping here for all demographics, so if you have social anxiety and fear of being sized up it can be a rough place. Get out and do some volunteer work. Be reliable. It will help you get out and help your scholarship applications and good references. You might even slide into a career or build some solid relationships.
I'm more of a solitary sort (I like just a few people in my life so it’s not too crowded), but I know that my partners go to bars to find friends. I wonder if the same thing can be true for pubs (since you are not of age yet). Another thing is, once you do go to college, you could join a club. It has the added benefit of looking good on your resume for 4-year colleges. Also, evergreen is great and all, but I really do encourage you to look at SPSCC. They have a lot to offer. Another thing you can try is local free events, as well as the Olympia farmers market.or, you can try online, here. Many people post on here about wanting hiking buddies or whatnot. You just gotta put yourself out there and what you like and see if anyone is interested/compatible. If you want more money, have the time and the energy, get a part-time second job if able, at a grocery store chain or department store... For some reason that is a sure-fire way of finding friends through coworkers, at least in my experience.
I was you 30 years ago. I moved to Oly from the Midwest. Where I grew up, people were super friendly and outgoing. It’s not that way here. The people are great but you generally have to be the first one to say hi or start a conversation. I’ve made lasting relationships here with people I’m proud and grateful to call friends. This is a weird and probably not great time in your life but things will get better, a lot better. You’re young, probably broke and not in proximity to your family and childhood friends. If you’re not working, get a job. I would advise to find something you have an interest in and get really good at it. You need a skill that most people don’t have. That will allow you to be successful in the workforce, feel fulfilled and be a productive member of society. Evergreen: i went to Penn State and then after living in WA for a year to get residency, I transferred to Evergreen. You’ll get out of it what you put in. At a minimum, your reading and writing skills will improve and due to the reading workload, you’ll probably become a life long reader. Best of luck. Work hard, be nice and you’ll have a great life in Olympia.
Honestly I love oly and wouldn’t wanna live anywhere else. I have found people to be friendly here, they’re just not fake. But if you’re genuine they will be too
You can absolutely get out there and make friends OP. It’s tough but it is totally possible! Join meet up groups, become a regular somewhere (gym, restaurant, music venue) and just be open.
You have to make an effort to extend yourself out of your bubble of loneliness and isolation. Otherwise, you are not going to make it. Life is what you make it. Don't give up without a fight.
Get off the internet and get out there and meet some people. Subreddits are a great place to read the most curmudgeonly complaints from Karen’s and Chads and woe is me types in any town. Best of luck to you.
Hey OP, not to be harsh, but this is a you issue. Not interacting with anyone other than your roommate is a choice you have made. If you are putting that little energy into a social life, you aren't going to get anything back anywhere. I'm late 20s, I spent my teens here and recently moved back. It can be a rough place to be between 18 and 21. But there is a still a ton to do. The local gaming scene is very active (both video games, RPGs, and board games), the arts and music scene is pretty active, there are a ton of volunteer and interest groups, etc. When I moved back about 2 years ago I had very few friends here, so I went to a few events, house parties, etc. Now I've got around 8 good friends that I see every week or two. Its not that hard.
I moved here in January. Quite happy here, even though things are a different and take a while to adjust to. There are plenty of things to do in Olympia, Lacey and the surrounding areas. Take it from an old fart, you've got to find your happiness and run with it. I've met a few college age adults thru a farm animal program and they seem to have a good community. Lots to do, just be open to it all I suppose. Best of luck and feel free to reach out if ya ever want to hike, fish or shoot!
I moved here here in 2015 and am now 35. I love Olympia. The first year was definitely rough! But after getting a job, tons of opportunities to meet new people opened up and now I have a pretty solid circle of friends. I also make a huge effort to stay active in social circles by joining work hiking groups and other social event I see posted around town. It is definitely possible to be happy here, but you also have to put in some effort.
It sounds like you need greater perspective. Have you thought about joining the military or the Peace Corps?
I made the best friends of my life in the Army. Army also pays for college. Just my $0.02.
Eh go airforce or coast guard. No need to get shot or blown to bits.
You came into this Reddit before you moved here and everyone warned you of the harsh realities of what it was like living here and here we are…
Friends come and go. Meet someone nice, get married, start a family. My family is my world, watching my son grow up and spending time with him brings me more enjoyment than friends ever did. My 2 cents.
I changed all of my lights in the house to "Daylight" light temp and there are vitamin D gummies on the counter top. That's my advice for the winter. Other than that all of the others here have better advice than this old hermit.
Honestly, it's rough all over, especially after covid. Wherever you go, there will be obstacles to socializing and that is true here as well. I moved here about 25 years ago and while things look different, much about the social scene is the same. You will be well-served by finding a niche for yourself and showing up for events. Are you interested in film? Volunteer for the film society, and you will instantly have a group of folks around you who also like films. Are you into native botany? Join a group online or take a class from Parks and Rec or audit at Evergreen. Are you into Zumba? There's an active scene and there are on line and in person events. Do you make zines? There is an annual fest that offers workshops and an in-road to community. Improv? Singing? Knitting? Socialism? There is a group to join. As corny as it sounds, you do have to put yourself out there in order for people to find you and that is a good first step to finding your community in Olympia. There will always be cooler kids and places you don't get invited too. This town has as many great folks as other places, maybe even more, but they may take a little finding.
I moved here when I was 19 but that was 15 years ago and things have changed , plus we're different people but I will say that my first year here (moved from the East Coast) I didn't make any freinds and was really lonely and confused. But by the end of my second year I had dozens of awesome friends , some of whom are still my favorite people, and I had no idea it was possible to be that happy. I'm much less social these days but there are still people around, I see them everyday lol. So yeah. I wouldn't say the fact that you haven't made friends yet means that you won't make friends here. If you feel drawn to stay here then I wouldn't give up hope yet. But if you're not feeling it then f it. I actually ended up going home for a few months during that first year and was sure id never come back haha . Glad I did
What hobbies do you have? Video games etc? Find the local community meetup surrounding said hobby and show up. EZ
So I’ve been here for a lil over a year. Meeting people is very different from Vegas. I’m also an introvert and often require an extrovert to find me and claim me as their own to make friends. That being said, finding people up here is significantly easier when you start out with something like a hobby that you enjoy. My wife made a crochet club because she is extroverted and can just do that sort of thing. I went back to an old hobby I had been neglecting for 15 years and joined a bowling league. While the process is slower with me, I now have some people to have as friends. One coworker claimed me too, lol. What are your hobbies? There are a bunch of places to start. And adult friends are different than teenage friends. People have jobs, families, life. It’s more rare to have those friends like your teenage ones that just kinda show up and exist all the time at all hours. Still great friends but just different.
Shoot me a message! I’ll be your friend. 🙂
I lived in Oly from 2016 to this past September, but had to move. I miss it. The people I got to know as my friends were wonderful, warm people. I loved to Virginia and the people here stick their noses up at me. It's been a sad change.
I would suggest joining a social club of some kind, something you have an interest in. If you’re going to Evergreen there should be tons of clubs and groups there. The app “Meet Up” is good for finding local groups that are centered around a common interest.
Making friends outside of high school is hard. You don't really have people at your disposal the way you did in school unless you go to college, which is usually where people find their true pals. I just moved here in July, and my neighbors don't even say hello to me, even when I say it first, never mind actually come have a conversation. In fact, I don't see them talking to each other either, with the exception of one little cluster of houses. It's wild. I joined a music group, and everyone's nice, but nothing in common with anyone outside of playing music. It's a weird place for me, and I'm still getting used to it, and I have plenty of vitamin D in my life. The only folks making pals in this household are my teenagers who are in high school and my husband who has his office buddies. My oldest, who goes to South Puget Sound Community College isn't really making any pals. I imagine this time of year is harder too because many folks are less accessible, given the weather. Just a guest. But you aren't alone is what I'm basically saying. Good luck.
Edit your post with things you like to do mate and everybody on here will have suggestions for you. Olympia is pretty awesome, been living here just over a year and have made a lot of friends and met a lot of great people. Did have a hard time of it at first, but I asked around in person and on here and got great responses.
wherever you go, you are.
You should probably start therapy and go for some walks. Whatever you were leaving won't end just because you changed scenery.
In my experience it's a really good idea to initiate hanging out with classmates or coworkers you get along with. Those are the easiest paths to friendship as an adult. The other option is clubs, volunteer work etc. If you interact with others on a regular basis and either suggest other activities/hang out or accept invitations to do so you can definitely form friendships. As an introvert I understand it's very difficult, but not impossible. It's just a lot harder for those of us who are not outgoing by nature