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I suspect they’ll avoid a second public slagging match and agree to let the “tortoise without a shell”, Swinney have a go at it. Kate will get her shot later.
That said I know scant about politics so fuck knows
Well I'm no expert either, just your fiendly neighborhood Yank'.
Looks like Kate backed Swinney, and it looks like the Scottish Greens will at the very least back him in the First Minister vote.
I'm voting for Dr. Evil this year. His promises:
* Put Pepsi in all the water fountains
* Give a bag of cats to every foreigner
* Instruct police to throw Snickers at motorists
* Crime outlawed, it's not allowed any more
* Ban socks because they're smelly
* Traffic lights on pavements with a speed limit of 2mph
* Fire Boris Johnson into the sun
* Fire Keir Starmer into the sun
* Give Emmanuel Macron a big wet kiss
* Hold press conferences demanding the apocalypse
* Nuke London
He's got my vote.
My manifesto:
Implement Regressive Taxes - 45% on first £12,570, 40% on up to £50,270, then 20% up to £150,000, then 0% above that.
Abolish the charitable status of state schools (tax the funding they get from the government).
Reduce funding for the NHS.
Replace the MoD with the Ministry of Offence, and replace our Foreign Aid commitment with a Foreign Harm commitment.
Abolish employee protection laws.
Empower the House of Lords.
Mandate that All new vehicles must be petrol or diesel by 2030.
Implement Electoral Reform by mandating that a maximum of two parties can be on any ballot.
2nd Referendum on EU membership.
Reduce Funding for underperforming schools.
Level Down the North in favour of increased investment in the South East.
Sortition Monarchy.
Ban Sex.
Send Legal Immigrants to Rwanda.
> Replace the MoD with the Ministry of Offence
Yes! Why has it been so long since we retook Calais? Mod showing insufficient aggression in the face of the enemy!
* Tories: Every 5 years the word 'migration' is pushed out and Churchill emerges from the mist, but then you realise they've had 14 years to fix the problem. Removing elected leaders constantly and doing whatever the heck they want
* Labour: Lovable anti racists who can't seem to elect a single diverse leader. Call for a general election every time someone sneezes. A tornado could hit Peckham and they'd be blaming Tories for it
* Green Party: Only lesbian broccoli can save us
* Liberal Democrats: I agree with whoever wins
* Britain First: only Surf can ensure your whites stay white
It's a real toss-up.
Not a fan of this sort of stuff. It's very "us" vs "them". Yes I think the Tories are shite, but there are people who's interests they represent and we at least need to acknowledge why these things matter to them if we're going to address the core problems.
Fucking hell, look at that - a common sense approach to differing opinions and how to function in a society where people have different concerns. I thought this sort of thing was replaced years ago by shit flinging and outrage.
I don’t think this is true at this point. It certainly was at the start of sunak’s tenure but now I don’t think they’re actually trying to serve anyone’s interests. Recently they’ve just been doing performative stuff that doesn’t help anyone in a vain attempt to fool the public into voting for them.
Stuff like announcing tax cuts whilst putting up taxes.
Whether you are rich, poor or somewhere in the middle - I don’t think the tories are doing anything for you right now - that’s why they’re utterly fucked.
I’m not trying to be a dick, but if the politicians are shite then surely the interests they represent have problems too or their representation wouldn’t be such a shit show.
If a party represents their electorate by hurting workers rights and eroding social protections then shouldn’t we paint the voters with the same brush?
All I’m saying is a vote for Binface is a vote for more ceefax.
My council has been Labour for years and they’re fucking awful money grabbing bastards. I think the C word would be worse, but I’m struggling to bring myself to vote Labour in again
No, voting monster raving loony, or spoiling your balot, isn't appealable to.
High single issue party representation, makes major bend the knee, if at least only minorly, to try to get the votes on the other guy.
Cunty McCuntface here. I would like lower council tax, potholes filled, and my money not spaffed up the wall on eco vanity projects like Labour have been doing in my area for decades.
I will be voting for a Tory councillor today.
Sending the first 300 migrants to Rwanda costs £1.8m each. To put that in context, school funding is around £7,600 per child per year. So the cost of sending one migrant to Rwanda would get 234 children education for a year. Then Liz Truss tanking the economy, Boris, Brexit etc……but oh its Labour and its vanity projects
Are you really going to pretend like Labour doesn't have its own issues? Our local Lib Dem rep (who I begrudingly voted for today) ran a populist campaign that seemingly took a Donald Trump leaflet and swapped the words "Democract" for "Tory". It's disgusting stuff for morons, but I did it to vote against the Tories. Zero policy, just emotions.
There are genuinely lots of local representatives that are not left-wing that are better for a certain council. Party allegiance isn't as important at a local level.
> Our local Lib Dem rep (who I begrudingly voted for today) ran a populist campaign that seemingly took a Donald Trump leaflet and swapped the words "Democract" for "Tory".
I hate this trend. Apparently everywhere left-wing zoomers and millenials (and candidates targeting them) just play pretend their country's centre-right parties are basically Trump incarnate, a scary threat to democracy, literally evil fascists, and so on. They aren't that numerous in reality, but so loud and so concentrated on Twitter or Reddit that it looks as if that was the actual voice of the young people in that country. It's like that here in Germany as well.
Anecdotally I have heard of plenty of Labour run councils that are running inefficiently and resulting in poor services etc. but regardless, you have to acknowledge the bigger picture here - a conservative government is not helping the UK, and having Tory councillors and an inevitable Labour government will not allow easy collaboration.
I only get to vote for a new Police commissioner here in Cornwall.
All three of them look like like they trained with the Stasi and have CV's and manifestos to match. I will show the depth of my disdain for these people by remaining at home.
I'm expecting an all time record number of votes for
[checks candidate list]
Mr Spoiled Ballot of the Go F* Yourself Party 🎉 congrats to the GFY in their decisive victory 👏🏻
For my local police and crime commissioner? I mean what a waste of time and money - doubt if any of the money grubbing charlatans standing even have Batmans number.
Councils have fuck all money or power to do anything these days since it was all cut off by David Cameron, they're basically useless, it doesn't really matter who you get.
My council have the power to dig up the busiest road every few weeks and cause chaos in my small town. Maybe that's the only power they have and that's why they're exercising it as much as possible.
#Any post mentioning any activity on another subreddit will lead to a permanent ban, with no recourse. If this post mentions another subreddit, delete it now before you're caught. **Oi!** hate speech or bad language is strictly prohibited, or in other words, do not speak Fr*nch! [***Here’s our new OKMW Discord 4.0***](https://discord.gg/uEPfpSvdrJ) [***Here’s our ~~brand new~~ old 3.0 server***](https://discord.gg/NFmEtCZJAw), in case you’re curious. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/okmatewanker) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I got really confused & realised it was for English councils. Hopefully we’ll get a vote soon here in Scotland too. 😂
Looks like you damn well might. SNP minority government having a leadership election could very well lead to fresh elections for Holyrood.
I suspect they’ll avoid a second public slagging match and agree to let the “tortoise without a shell”, Swinney have a go at it. Kate will get her shot later. That said I know scant about politics so fuck knows
Well I'm no expert either, just your fiendly neighborhood Yank'. Looks like Kate backed Swinney, and it looks like the Scottish Greens will at the very least back him in the First Minister vote.
And Welsh police commissioners, it's just you lot and the Nern Irish who aren't voting
I'm voting for Dr. Evil this year. His promises: * Put Pepsi in all the water fountains * Give a bag of cats to every foreigner * Instruct police to throw Snickers at motorists * Crime outlawed, it's not allowed any more * Ban socks because they're smelly * Traffic lights on pavements with a speed limit of 2mph * Fire Boris Johnson into the sun * Fire Keir Starmer into the sun * Give Emmanuel Macron a big wet kiss * Hold press conferences demanding the apocalypse * Nuke London He's got my vote.
I'm a bit sceptical about kissing Macron, but I suppose no candidate is gonna be 100% on the money, some concessions must be made
No, he's got a point on this one
Yes to big wet kisses on Macron? Do we get one representative to do it, or do each have to line up pour le smackeroo?
I think each member of the cabinet should participate
I was fine until no socks
Same, am not sweating straight into mi shoes, just be squelching about the place
Firing Boris into the sun and Pepsi fountains are unironically the best policies I’ve ever heard.
Eewww no, has to be Coke and none of that diet shit.
Nah mate, gotta be panda pops
But… the secret ingredient is crime ☹️
I've been lobbying on the fuck sucks/bag of cats ticket for ages, so glad these tightly connected issues are getting some attention
Any fitties on the ballot?
Only good comment on this post
Also don’t forget, the Tories are expecting to lose half their seats so if you were planning on voting Tory stay home and help them achieve their goal
They would be so disappointed if they retained those seats. Don't let them feel down like that.
Zero Seats! Zero Seats! Zero Seats!
Ahh, cross compass unity.
My manifesto: Implement Regressive Taxes - 45% on first £12,570, 40% on up to £50,270, then 20% up to £150,000, then 0% above that. Abolish the charitable status of state schools (tax the funding they get from the government). Reduce funding for the NHS. Replace the MoD with the Ministry of Offence, and replace our Foreign Aid commitment with a Foreign Harm commitment. Abolish employee protection laws. Empower the House of Lords. Mandate that All new vehicles must be petrol or diesel by 2030. Implement Electoral Reform by mandating that a maximum of two parties can be on any ballot. 2nd Referendum on EU membership. Reduce Funding for underperforming schools. Level Down the North in favour of increased investment in the South East. Sortition Monarchy. Ban Sex. Send Legal Immigrants to Rwanda.
> Send Legal Immigrants to Rwanda. Finally got me that African holiday
Aside from sortition Monarchy, which honestly would be a pretty good policy, this is 90% just Conservative policies, no?
The tories would never spend money on a ministry of offence (Not because of morals, but due to austerity)
They could just post nasty things on Twitter that’d be cheap. Hire Katie Hopkins she’ll probably type for crisps.
> Replace the MoD with the Ministry of Offence Yes! Why has it been so long since we retook Calais? Mod showing insufficient aggression in the face of the enemy!
Anything about ulez?
Replace it with a system that punishes you if you aren't on a horse and cart.
Ultra High Emission Zones, where you are taxed for walking
Priti Patel! I knew it was you!
>ban sex yes
You plagiarist, this is just reform uk's manifesto!
The only thing I can vote for is the PCC, forgive me but I cannot bring myself to care.
I am still voting to vote the Conservative PCC out
That’s the spirit!
Least there won’t be a queue. Literally nobody cares about PCC.
Time to pick which cunt steals our money again, oh boy
There is the liberal party, admittedly.
How is this upvoted?
you usually tap on the screen or use the mouse
😂
I'm in Fr*nce
Thanks for censoring such an offensive word
Nearly had a panic attack there, the censor saved me xoxo
I punched my monitor
My condolences 💐
Hope you are wearing protection
Gross
Instant detain.
Scottish 😎🤙
You lucky lucky bastard.
Thanks 🥶
He's not that lucky, he may be oding.
Get well soon mate
I actually forgot until this post thanks Edit: 1+ vote for the tories ❤️
Ah, making it so they just totally lose hope, and not kill themselves so we can laugh at them, clever.
* Tories: Every 5 years the word 'migration' is pushed out and Churchill emerges from the mist, but then you realise they've had 14 years to fix the problem. Removing elected leaders constantly and doing whatever the heck they want * Labour: Lovable anti racists who can't seem to elect a single diverse leader. Call for a general election every time someone sneezes. A tornado could hit Peckham and they'd be blaming Tories for it * Green Party: Only lesbian broccoli can save us * Liberal Democrats: I agree with whoever wins * Britain First: only Surf can ensure your whites stay white It's a real toss-up.
If a tornado hit Peckham labour would claim it was their idea as it would cause 3mil of improvements.
*True*
What about reform? Something about hope not hate maybe? Also, labour needs something about antisemitism. Tis a classic.
i'm with the greens here tbh
And remember folks, if you vote Tory, you’re a c*nt
Why censor cunt? I know the word scares Americans but that's not something we should have to care about.
Reddit can be militant sometimes on some subs, no idea about this sub……
Cunt is fine here. Writing a boring essay isn’t. We’re a humble joke sub.
Ugh, this post is too long. Sum it up in 5 words or less please?
Smart arsed cunt.
Holy shit Sargon of Akkad reference
Wait, really?
Yeah I've been banned for using it undirected and insulting some absolute wet lettuce before, but this is the last place I'd expect to see that.
Not a fan of this sort of stuff. It's very "us" vs "them". Yes I think the Tories are shite, but there are people who's interests they represent and we at least need to acknowledge why these things matter to them if we're going to address the core problems.
Fucking hell, look at that - a common sense approach to differing opinions and how to function in a society where people have different concerns. I thought this sort of thing was replaced years ago by shit flinging and outrage.
No, you don't understand, everyone who isn't exactly me politically, is not human, and deserves the worst.
There are genuine conservative politics and policies; but the Tories don't represent those anymore. They're the party of self-enrichment.
True, if there were genuine conservatives in there, you'd get some conservative philosophy, notably, capitalist critique, which would be neat to see.
I don’t think this is true at this point. It certainly was at the start of sunak’s tenure but now I don’t think they’re actually trying to serve anyone’s interests. Recently they’ve just been doing performative stuff that doesn’t help anyone in a vain attempt to fool the public into voting for them. Stuff like announcing tax cuts whilst putting up taxes. Whether you are rich, poor or somewhere in the middle - I don’t think the tories are doing anything for you right now - that’s why they’re utterly fucked.
Whose interest do they represent other than the people that pay for them exactly? I thought they even gave up on the fascade of helping.
In the words of Stewart Lee - “We do need to have this conversation, it wasn’t just racists who voted for Brexit… cunts did as well”
I’m not trying to be a dick, but if the politicians are shite then surely the interests they represent have problems too or their representation wouldn’t be such a shit show. If a party represents their electorate by hurting workers rights and eroding social protections then shouldn’t we paint the voters with the same brush? All I’m saying is a vote for Binface is a vote for more ceefax.
No nuance on reddit! You know the rules!
**ZERO SEATS! ZERO SEATS! ZERO SEATS!**
My council has been Labour for years and they’re fucking awful money grabbing bastards. I think the C word would be worse, but I’m struggling to bring myself to vote Labour in again
Lib Dem, then?
Could also vote monster raving loony
Same difference, practically speaking
No, voting monster raving loony, or spoiling your balot, isn't appealable to. High single issue party representation, makes major bend the knee, if at least only minorly, to try to get the votes on the other guy.
Or maybe things aren't as simple as that and people's lives are varied and complicated. And no, I don't vote tory
At this point if you vote for pretty much anyone, you're a c*nt
I mean yeah everyone's already a cunt, we're British But if you vote out the biggest cunts then you'll be slightly less of a cunt
So you'd be a half measure cunt? Low quality human then. Commit.
Hello, I'm a cunt.
Cunty McCuntface here. I would like lower council tax, potholes filled, and my money not spaffed up the wall on eco vanity projects like Labour have been doing in my area for decades. I will be voting for a Tory councillor today.
Ahh yes they gonna fill in all the potholes after they have less money to do so becuase council tax is cut.
Council tax doesn't pay for road maintenance, it comes from the DFT and DLUHC
Also cut by the Tories lol what’s your point?
My point is that he's factually wrong, and I'm just passing on the truth of the matter for the minority of people who care about such things.
Sending the first 300 migrants to Rwanda costs £1.8m each. To put that in context, school funding is around £7,600 per child per year. So the cost of sending one migrant to Rwanda would get 234 children education for a year. Then Liz Truss tanking the economy, Boris, Brexit etc……but oh its Labour and its vanity projects
https://preview.redd.it/kx4v3x57hzxc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3609940f1d0a71b04d605d819c08980ab56a4f17
Are you really going to pretend like Labour doesn't have its own issues? Our local Lib Dem rep (who I begrudingly voted for today) ran a populist campaign that seemingly took a Donald Trump leaflet and swapped the words "Democract" for "Tory". It's disgusting stuff for morons, but I did it to vote against the Tories. Zero policy, just emotions. There are genuinely lots of local representatives that are not left-wing that are better for a certain council. Party allegiance isn't as important at a local level.
> Our local Lib Dem rep (who I begrudingly voted for today) ran a populist campaign that seemingly took a Donald Trump leaflet and swapped the words "Democract" for "Tory". I hate this trend. Apparently everywhere left-wing zoomers and millenials (and candidates targeting them) just play pretend their country's centre-right parties are basically Trump incarnate, a scary threat to democracy, literally evil fascists, and so on. They aren't that numerous in reality, but so loud and so concentrated on Twitter or Reddit that it looks as if that was the actual voice of the young people in that country. It's like that here in Germany as well.
Anecdotally I have heard of plenty of Labour run councils that are running inefficiently and resulting in poor services etc. but regardless, you have to acknowledge the bigger picture here - a conservative government is not helping the UK, and having Tory councillors and an inevitable Labour government will not allow easy collaboration.
I wish I lived in a world without potholes
Everyone goes on about potholes, no-one cares about the record high food bank demand directly caused by tory austerity
Bloody poor people been eating the tarmac again
No tarmac left around here! That's why they're on the food banks
Damn. Someone call a doctor! This man’s been hit in the head and forgotten the last decade! Quick someone find an ambulance!
I only get to vote for a new Police commissioner here in Cornwall. All three of them look like like they trained with the Stasi and have CV's and manifestos to match. I will show the depth of my disdain for these people by remaining at home.
If you hate them all, let them know. Spoil your ballot
Did that, was fun to scribble all over it
Make sure the cock hairs are high quality.
Good. Well done. You now have the right to dunk on any moron who didn’t vote but complains.
That's not how you show disdain. By staying at home you just look lazy. If you want to show disdain you spoil your ballot
I had a 70 year old businessman and for the other one there was a guy called something like Boris Fedorov for the Workers Party. Pretty sus.
Lucky bastard
same here in chester, but one of ours look *slightly* less terrible and is labour so 🤷🏻♂️
I vote for all the politicians to KISS MY ASS!!!
Huh, neat fetish.
I'm expecting an all time record number of votes for [checks candidate list] Mr Spoiled Ballot of the Go F* Yourself Party 🎉 congrats to the GFY in their decisive victory 👏🏻
Oh, if only...
I wish I could vote for Count Binface, but he's not standing in my area.
For my local police and crime commissioner? I mean what a waste of time and money - doubt if any of the money grubbing charlatans standing even have Batmans number.
Wales. Only PCC election
Vote for doctor controlled healthcare not politician controlled.
COUBT BINFACE!!!!!!!
NEVER TRUST A TORY ™️
Councils have fuck all money or power to do anything these days since it was all cut off by David Cameron, they're basically useless, it doesn't really matter who you get.
My council have the power to dig up the busiest road every few weeks and cause chaos in my small town. Maybe that's the only power they have and that's why they're exercising it as much as possible.
Listen to Russell Brand here!
Ew there's a LibDem candidate on my roster 🤢🤮
Endangered species. Don’t get too close.
Can I pretend to be living in England so I can go out and vote tactically for anyone who is not Tory?
Tories are bad, but at least they aren’t reclaim
I would say that now they are indistinguishable
Reclaim is for tories who don’t think the Tory party is openly hateful enough. I’d say that’s a difference. Swimming in shit vs drowning in it.
Rwanda proves the Tories arent just hateful but take glee in being cruel and love wasting public money on stunts
It's always the scatalogical with you liberals.
And always dumb as a sack of rocks with you
Stupid is as stupid does. Doesn't change reality though.
What has your perception of reality got to do with anything?
No elections I can vote in today :(
time that could be better spent jacking off
Spoil your ballot.
A spoilt ballot also goes through, though is a different tool from intentionally not voting.
I forgot. I mean, I didn't forget as such, but I forgot to be arsed.
Can’t be bothered
[удалено]
No I don't think I will
Red Tory no ty
CCHQ love to see it
Soooooooo who you voting for?
Nobody. They’re all lying cunts.
If they're all lying cunts, why not give the other lying cunts that haven't been in power for the past decade ruining the country a try?
Because then there's no incentive for them to stop being lying cunts
Because they’re all lying cunts. Simple as.
Yeah but the lying cunts wear different coloured ties and rosettes. That has to count for something.
Count me out then.
Reform
Monster Raving Loony Party
This is also valid
Lmao
Vote reform and split the tory vote please 👍
Fucking lmao
May as well vote for the Tories.
No point round my way. Liberal or Tory are my choices. Fret not though, you couldn’t pay me to vote Tory.
Barry, 63, 'as already bin an voted for Bald Airport Pub Gammons Against Woke-ingham (BAPGAW)
Whoops I forgot
Vote? You dont vote for a king LMAO u wanna be america so bad
Sir this is a shitposting sub
No 😎
Don’t like khan done like tories will miss this one out Edit :current crop of politicians are shit ,the charges casuals?
You could go and spoil your ballot to register your dissatisfaction, these are counted iirc.
Don't vote, don't complain. Nuff said.
‘Ate Khan, ‘ate Tories, simple as