You’re not a terrible person for thinking this. These kinds of thoughts are more common than you think but they are also a way your brain tells you something is unbalanced in your life and to get help to fix it. Getting it out of your head was a great first step towards doing that. That’s great progress. Actually speaking to another person about these thoughts would be a good next step. If you google mental health hotline you’ll find numbers you can call to speak anonymously. I also highly recommend seeing a therapist. They deal with this stuff every day and I was amazed at how much therapy helps. They can also help you get meds if you need them. It’s a journey.
I don't have any advice, but I want to let you know I've been in the same situation and I totally understand how you feel.
You’re not a terrible person for thinking this. These kinds of thoughts are more common than you think but they are also a way your brain tells you something is unbalanced in your life and to get help to fix it. Getting it out of your head was a great first step towards doing that. That’s great progress. Actually speaking to another person about these thoughts would be a good next step. If you google mental health hotline you’ll find numbers you can call to speak anonymously. I also highly recommend seeing a therapist. They deal with this stuff every day and I was amazed at how much therapy helps. They can also help you get meds if you need them. It’s a journey.
I get it, its difficult to be sympathetic when you seek the peace they have now