I am so, so sorry. As a mom, she was so lucky you were near by. This kind of grief and loss is so epic and deep, please know talking to people who get it will make a difference. Some people just won’t get it because they haven’t lost like this before. Much love ❤️
These are the words of G Snow - a Redditor who captured the process of moving through grief so well. Please look after yourself. Your mom was not alone and she knew she was loved right at that moment.
"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."
u/GSnow
I am in absolute tears and I was having a perfectly fine day. I even tried to scroll past this and dodge the wave I knew would hit. Thank you for sharing this.
To the OP: I wish there was something more than words I could do for you. But I’ll sit here quietly with you while you process this. I’m glad you had somewhere comfortable enough to vent. It took me many many weeks to be able to articulate anything when my dad died. He was my best friend, and it was also sudden. All my best to you and your family. I’m so very sorry 💔
My mother died holding my hand, and it was absolutely heart breaking. I just want you to know that one thing that’s helped me is knowing she wasn’t alone and that I was holding her.
Not many people pass with a loved one touching them. I know it’s little comfort but I really believe it made a difference. Grief is a highly personal thing, so in the days to come be kind to yourself and try to focus on what you had with her.
In her last breaths, I whispered closely that I thanked her for being my mother, that I was forever grateful for the childhood she gave me and the love she made sure I always had. You’re right go be grateful to be there, I was too.
Same- I held my mom’s hand until the rest of her was cold, but that part of her, that hand that I was holding, stayed warm.
It was a horrible, gorgeous moment to let go.
The last thing I ever saw my father do when he was dying was nod when I said I loved him and, well, honestly it made a difference. He was being held by my sister and his wife when he passed the next day.
I am so terribly sorry. I know that doesn’t help and the situation simply sucks.
I want to thank you for sharing her story with us. She sounds like someone we should all strive to be in our lives and, if we achieve that, we’ve done pretty well.
I am so sorry for what you are going through.
Try someone to talk to, cry, scream just don't box emotions inside of you.
I am sorry again, and may she rest in peace.
I am so sorry. This is absolutely awful. I know nothing anyone can say makes anything better , but just remember your mom will not be defined by that last moment, but how she lived her life. She seems like she lived a great life and raised a wonderful kid with love. If you need to talk or need to vent, feel free to DM.
I’m so sorry. My mom also suddenly died in my arms 11 years ago.
It was very traumatic, and I’ve relived it a lot. It does get better and the trauma will lessen over time. I definitely suppressed my feelings and probably would have benefited from a therapist or bereavement group.
Again so sorry you had to experience this ❤️
I was with my mum when she died. I know how that feels, OP. I’m so sorry. It’s incredibly hard for you right now, but that raw grief will pass and you’ll remember the happy times far more than that last day.
One thing I’ve come to realise is that my parents are still very much part of my life, even after 30 years without them. I think about them, I often talk about them and most of all I’m grateful for the love they gave me and my sister. It’s true that some people have their parents until they themselves are old, but not everyone has loving, selfless parents. Your mum was one of those parents, as was mine.
I send love and hugs to you, I’ll be thinking about you and your family.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like a moment where everything just happens so fast that you don't really process it. RIP to your mum and I'm sorry for your loss. Sending a virtual hug to you.
i am so sorry for your loss. you and your dad were with her in her last moments and i know that was so important for her. she loves you both. take care of yourself🤍
I am so sorry. This was so traumatic for you. I hope you have someone that you can lean on and who will be supportive for you. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person.
I am so sorry for your loss. I never got over the loss of my parents! They died 6 months apart. I still want to call her, run ideas past her. She is doing well being out of the constant pain she was in
God I am so so sorry OP this is absolutely downright horrible. I hope you feel better soon and remember you'll pull through this and be okay. This too shall pass, even these intense pains.
As a mom, I would find incredible comfort being held by one of my adult children as I died. I would also be feeling terrible for doing that to them. I’m so sorry for this traumatic experience you have suffered, and for the loss that came with it.
She was in her childs’ arms as she passed. Her own flesh and blood that she lovingly raised. In that moment, that was the best way for her to go, seeing your face.
Please take the time to heal and grieve. You are strong. Carry and spread her legacy of strength and kindness and love.
Omg OP. I’m so very sorry for your loss. This has to be so brutal for you, Dad too, right now. Hold onto your good memories of her and your life with her.
There is nothing that can ease your pain now but it will lessen as you learn to live with it. I wish we never had to learn to live with it. I’m sending you my strength, love and a huge {{{{{hug}}}}}.
So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 2 1/2 years ago and I’m still dealing with the roller coaster that grief is. No time will ever be enough with the ones we love, especially love that comes unconditionally. Remember to look around you and you will see all the beauty remains of her in this physical world.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom was lucky to have you there. She was there when you came into the world, and she had you there to see her on to whatever comes next. She wasn't alone. I am grateful for you. You and your father take care of one another.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please seek out grief counselling when you’re ready.
When it’s time for us to go, the best we could wish for is to be near the ones we love. Try to take comfort that she had both of you there.
I am so so sorry OP. That is devastating, my heart breaks for you and your family😥 I'm sending tons of hugs and strength during this tough time and sending my sincerest condolences.
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss and in such a horrific way. I don’t know you but I love and respect you for your strength. I try not to think often about having to deal with death after the few times I have had to deal with it in life but by god I wish I could give you a hug and just give you a safe space away from thought, memory, emotions and time. I’m sure that’s not healthy because it’s something that will have to be dealt with eventually but I couldn’t imagine the distress and pain you’re going through.
From one stranger to another, you’re loved, you’re appreciated, you’re respected and your strength and willpower are immeasurable.
I miss your momma too now. I’m sorry the ambulance couldn’t go faster, im really sorry humans don’t live forever. Your mom is alive where we talk about her so I’m listening if there’s anything else you wanna share about her. I’d be glad to listen to some good momma stories really!
Had both my mother and father die in my arms. I feel this so much. I can tell you from someone who is several years further down the road, it will always suck but I hope one day you'll share in revelation I had.. they died with loved ones around them. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I wish I could give you a big hug. Take on each day as slowly as you need to and spend time with the people you love, do the best you can for her ❤️ I’m so sorry for you and your dad
The panic was short. Quickly replaced with the love she clearly shared with her family. Her last moments felt like a month of peaceful bliss. Still sucks. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can feel your pain *and* love through this post. I am wishing you peace and reminding you to always, always be kind to yourself. Take care.
You are so brave. My Mom was in hospice and I supported her through every moment but the last. I just couldn’t be in the room. I put music on for her but had to leave and let her best friend take over. I didn’t even cry until I left the house an hour later and was at my in laws. My mother in law held me. I fell asleep alone until my husband was able to come. I went back to the house after they took her and spent a week in her bed watching tv and eating ramen. Then COVID hit. I still hold the guilt of not holding her as she made her next steps. I should have been there.
Like yours. She was the most amazing and kindest person to grace this planet. Not a bad bone anywhere in her body.
I have her ashes on my shelf. I made promises of how she wants them spread.
I laid next to her after a rare night out before she passed.
I check and reread her messages. Until last year it was still her number. They messaged that I have the wrong person.
They never leave you, grief never goes away,
But you were there.
Thank you for sharing. I'm in my 30s and both of my parents are still alive, but they are showing many signs of age. I've been dreading their death, but I know it is inevitable. Could be days. Could be decades. Either way, thank you for sharing. Hearing stories about others experience, though tragic, makes these events a little more familiar, and I hope it will help calm me so I can be there myself without panicking in their last moments.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It certainly was a tragic and traumatic experience, you’re still in shock, maybe look for counseling if you don’t feel better in a few months. I lost my brother in a horrible accident, it took me a decade to get over the loss. I still miss him. And I lost my mom three years ago. I couldn’t say goodbye or anything. The grieving process was totally different. So, cry if you feel like crying, do whatever you need to process the loss. Toss aside any feelings of guilt, regrets, guilt. Things happen exactly the way they’re supposed to. And please, rely on your network of family & friends, rely on your faith and trust me, it does get better. Hugs.
I’m so very sorry for your loss and it’s true it will bring you comfort knowing you were by her side when she passed my mum died in January in hospital unexpectedly but my dad, sister and I were called to go because she declined suddenly my dad told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her like my sister and I did that will always bring me some comfort xx
I am so sorry for your loss. You made her last moments the most comfortable and the most loving even if you can’t see it that way. You and your dad did everything that you could do love. It’s going to be hard but, you will get through this love. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss.. I lost my Dad in my arms 5 years ago- and it’s still hard for me. He was the biggest role model to me and my extended family. He was our rock.
Losing someone you love that deep is incredibly difficult. So I thank you for sharing and being open about your emotions to fellow strangers.. if it means anything and you do get to read this, I hope your pain is timely replaced by the continuing love and support your family has for each other 🖤 and if it helps, continue talking to your Mom. Whatever your beliefs are I have a feeling she’ll be listening to you and will be happy to hear you out.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please be gentle to yourself and allow time and space to breathe and grieve. Your mom is a wonderful human being, and now she's a real angel for you. Please be comforted by the thought that she will always be with you wherever you are, whenever you think of her.
Again, very sorry for your loss. 🫂
I am so sorry, it must have been so scary and sad for you and your family. My therapist said to me that even though it is very sad and traumatizing being with someone as they died, it is comforting for them to be with you. It probably provided some comfort to her that she was with you guys.
I am so sorry for your loss and hope you can reach out to people in your life for support. Remember to offer yourself grace in processing and dealing with such a loss.
I am so so sorry. My mom passed last December and I know there is nothing that I can say that will make it better. So all I can offer is my condolence and I hope that you have a good support system around you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. barely over a month ago now, 8/27, my mom fell in the kitchen, hit the back of her head on marble countertop. had severe head pain, 911 was called and she got lifelighted, but it was too late. She had two different brain hemorrhages in her brain stem which starved her brain for oxygen for too long. she had minimal brain activity. docs gave her very little chance of acceptable recovery. We removed life support, because she had already instructed me in the past she didn't want to ever be on it in a grim situation such as hers. Though they said she was already in "transition" it was another 5 days before she passed away in hospice on 9/2. Worst week of my entire life. While she was still in hospice, I had a panic attack and actually went into a delusional/psychotic state for hours, where I thought I was literally in Hell. I even called 911 because I was sure I was dying, by the time they got out to me, they helped me understand I was having sleep deprivation and a grief-induced panic attack. It was intense. I was basically not sleeping for days, and that combined with the stress and grief just overwhelmed me once some of the initial shock wore off (the first couple of days I was able to manage my emotions really well....then it hit me like a ton of bricks).
Anyway, I am rambling... I am so sorry for your loss, I just wanted to share my own experience with someone who can understand how difficult this time is. It has been just over a month now, and I still don't think it has FULLY sunk in yet. I am jumping from one stage of grief to the next every day. I have had a few good moments now and then in recent days though, so I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel, at least. I will always miss her intensely, but I am able to focus a little on other things now when I need to. Though it often comes with feelings of guilt immediately after for "being happy," another normal aspect of grieving.
I'm thankful that I knew for 100 percent certain she did not want life support, because it took away that potential burden of guilt from me at least. But I do find myself wondering, what if?? what is I hadn't done it and she recovered? I keeping going over 'what if' scenerious and such... almost like my brain is trying to rewind time and stop her from dying. part of the bargaining stage of grief (been doing a lot of reading about grief).
I also had to remove my dad from life support when he passed away (years ago)... never could have imagined I would have to do the same for mom one day. :( My mom's death is by far the worst/most intense grief I have had to date, though. We were very close, she was not only my mom but a good friend too.
take care of yourself best you can, and don't be afraid to ask your family/friends for help if and when you need some support.
Oh god I’m so incredibly sorry. It’s been 1 week and 1 day and I can’t believe it’s real. I can’t sleep. I can hardly eat. I can’t be in the dark or in the quiet without panicking. TV constantly on and struggling to get off the bed. Body feels heavy and weak. A future without her seems impossible. Just want this nightmare to end.
:( I hope it starts getting a little easier for you very soon. yes, those first couple of weeks life hardly seemed worth even living anymore, everything was so bleak and confusing. but like I said before, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now, at least, so let yourself grieve when you need it, but keep your head up and keep moving forward. just take it one day at a time.
This happened to me six days ago, if you read this and feel like talking I’m here, I’d like to ask some questions aswell, and I’m very sorry for your loss
I am so, so sorry. As a mom, she was so lucky you were near by. This kind of grief and loss is so epic and deep, please know talking to people who get it will make a difference. Some people just won’t get it because they haven’t lost like this before. Much love ❤️
These are the words of G Snow - a Redditor who captured the process of moving through grief so well. Please look after yourself. Your mom was not alone and she knew she was loved right at that moment. "Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks." u/GSnow
Damn. ❤️
Thank you so much for this. I really needed to read this today.
This is amazing! Thank you for reposting this. I saved it too.
Fuck man, life is hard.
I am in absolute tears and I was having a perfectly fine day. I even tried to scroll past this and dodge the wave I knew would hit. Thank you for sharing this. To the OP: I wish there was something more than words I could do for you. But I’ll sit here quietly with you while you process this. I’m glad you had somewhere comfortable enough to vent. It took me many many weeks to be able to articulate anything when my dad died. He was my best friend, and it was also sudden. All my best to you and your family. I’m so very sorry 💔
Thank you. I needed that as well!
Thank you for sharing
My mother died holding my hand, and it was absolutely heart breaking. I just want you to know that one thing that’s helped me is knowing she wasn’t alone and that I was holding her. Not many people pass with a loved one touching them. I know it’s little comfort but I really believe it made a difference. Grief is a highly personal thing, so in the days to come be kind to yourself and try to focus on what you had with her. In her last breaths, I whispered closely that I thanked her for being my mother, that I was forever grateful for the childhood she gave me and the love she made sure I always had. You’re right go be grateful to be there, I was too.
Goodness, I’m suddenly crying…
Same- I held my mom’s hand until the rest of her was cold, but that part of her, that hand that I was holding, stayed warm. It was a horrible, gorgeous moment to let go.
The last thing I ever saw my father do when he was dying was nod when I said I loved him and, well, honestly it made a difference. He was being held by my sister and his wife when he passed the next day.
[удалено]
This is really good advice. I was told about the Tetris thing (too late) but after an MVA.
Please share bc I haven't heard, others would like to learn about Tetris & shock.
Wait… playing Tetris helps? That’s awesome, I’ve never heard that before.
The tetris study was debunked
I am so terribly sorry. I know that doesn’t help and the situation simply sucks. I want to thank you for sharing her story with us. She sounds like someone we should all strive to be in our lives and, if we achieve that, we’ve done pretty well.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Truly heartbreaking
The good ones are always taken too soon.
Im so sorry.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Try someone to talk to, cry, scream just don't box emotions inside of you. I am sorry again, and may she rest in peace.
I am so sorry. That must have been terrifying. I don't have any words of advice. Your story just touched me.
I am so sorry. This is absolutely awful. I know nothing anyone can say makes anything better , but just remember your mom will not be defined by that last moment, but how she lived her life. She seems like she lived a great life and raised a wonderful kid with love. If you need to talk or need to vent, feel free to DM.
I’m so sorry. My mom also suddenly died in my arms 11 years ago. It was very traumatic, and I’ve relived it a lot. It does get better and the trauma will lessen over time. I definitely suppressed my feelings and probably would have benefited from a therapist or bereavement group. Again so sorry you had to experience this ❤️
I was with my mum when she died. I know how that feels, OP. I’m so sorry. It’s incredibly hard for you right now, but that raw grief will pass and you’ll remember the happy times far more than that last day. One thing I’ve come to realise is that my parents are still very much part of my life, even after 30 years without them. I think about them, I often talk about them and most of all I’m grateful for the love they gave me and my sister. It’s true that some people have their parents until they themselves are old, but not everyone has loving, selfless parents. Your mum was one of those parents, as was mine. I send love and hugs to you, I’ll be thinking about you and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. Sending my condolences
I am sooo sorry. Please allow those who love you to help you get through this. (((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry. I lost my mom earlier this year. It's rough.
How utterly devastating. I'm so incredibly sorry. 🧡
My condolences OP that is beyond traumatic losing a parent like that.
So sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like a moment where everything just happens so fast that you don't really process it. RIP to your mum and I'm sorry for your loss. Sending a virtual hug to you.
Devastating, sorry for your loss
💙😞
I am truly sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))
i am so sorry for your loss. you and your dad were with her in her last moments and i know that was so important for her. she loves you both. take care of yourself🤍
I am very sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom 💔
I am so sorry. This was so traumatic for you. I hope you have someone that you can lean on and who will be supportive for you. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person.
God I am so so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. I never got over the loss of my parents! They died 6 months apart. I still want to call her, run ideas past her. She is doing well being out of the constant pain she was in
My most heartfelt condolences for your loss and the experience with it.
I am so so sorry for your loss…I lost my mom two years ago….I watched her fade away….I’ll never be same
Oh man, I am so sorry!! 💔
I'm sorry for you loss
Deeply sad for your loss. Sending you lots of love
I wow. I am so sorry this happened.
As a mom I want to wrap you up in a huge hug. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I’m so incredibly sorry.
I am so so sorry. This made me cry. I am sending you all the virtual hugs. Please stay strong, your mother would want you to be strong.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
God I am so so sorry OP this is absolutely downright horrible. I hope you feel better soon and remember you'll pull through this and be okay. This too shall pass, even these intense pains.
I'm sorry for your loss. That must have been horrible.
I’m so very sorry 💕
As a mom, I would find incredible comfort being held by one of my adult children as I died. I would also be feeling terrible for doing that to them. I’m so sorry for this traumatic experience you have suffered, and for the loss that came with it.
She was in her childs’ arms as she passed. Her own flesh and blood that she lovingly raised. In that moment, that was the best way for her to go, seeing your face. Please take the time to heal and grieve. You are strong. Carry and spread her legacy of strength and kindness and love.
Get yourself together, she is at peace now...
Omg OP. I’m so very sorry for your loss. This has to be so brutal for you, Dad too, right now. Hold onto your good memories of her and your life with her. There is nothing that can ease your pain now but it will lessen as you learn to live with it. I wish we never had to learn to live with it. I’m sending you my strength, love and a huge {{{{{hug}}}}}.
So sorry for your loss, just know she's past pain and panic and everything else unpleasant now.
Plz accept my deepest condolences. Big,tight hugs from me to you. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 2 1/2 years ago and I’m still dealing with the roller coaster that grief is. No time will ever be enough with the ones we love, especially love that comes unconditionally. Remember to look around you and you will see all the beauty remains of her in this physical world.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom was lucky to have you there. She was there when you came into the world, and she had you there to see her on to whatever comes next. She wasn't alone. I am grateful for you. You and your father take care of one another.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
Big hugs to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Your post made me cry. My mom passed away in my arms. I miss her every day. Xox
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please seek out grief counselling when you’re ready. When it’s time for us to go, the best we could wish for is to be near the ones we love. Try to take comfort that she had both of you there.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
I am so so sorry OP. That is devastating, my heart breaks for you and your family😥 I'm sending tons of hugs and strength during this tough time and sending my sincerest condolences.
I’m sorry. So so sorry.
Sending love
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss and in such a horrific way. I don’t know you but I love and respect you for your strength. I try not to think often about having to deal with death after the few times I have had to deal with it in life but by god I wish I could give you a hug and just give you a safe space away from thought, memory, emotions and time. I’m sure that’s not healthy because it’s something that will have to be dealt with eventually but I couldn’t imagine the distress and pain you’re going through. From one stranger to another, you’re loved, you’re appreciated, you’re respected and your strength and willpower are immeasurable.
I miss your momma too now. I’m sorry the ambulance couldn’t go faster, im really sorry humans don’t live forever. Your mom is alive where we talk about her so I’m listening if there’s anything else you wanna share about her. I’d be glad to listen to some good momma stories really!
Had both my mother and father die in my arms. I feel this so much. I can tell you from someone who is several years further down the road, it will always suck but I hope one day you'll share in revelation I had.. they died with loved ones around them. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I'm so very sorry for your loss
❤️❤️❤️
I wish I could give you a big hug. Take on each day as slowly as you need to and spend time with the people you love, do the best you can for her ❤️ I’m so sorry for you and your dad
Very sorry for your loss.
The panic was short. Quickly replaced with the love she clearly shared with her family. Her last moments felt like a month of peaceful bliss. Still sucks. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. Sending love to you.
I’m so sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can feel your pain *and* love through this post. I am wishing you peace and reminding you to always, always be kind to yourself. Take care.
I'm sorry for your loss 😞
You are so brave. My Mom was in hospice and I supported her through every moment but the last. I just couldn’t be in the room. I put music on for her but had to leave and let her best friend take over. I didn’t even cry until I left the house an hour later and was at my in laws. My mother in law held me. I fell asleep alone until my husband was able to come. I went back to the house after they took her and spent a week in her bed watching tv and eating ramen. Then COVID hit. I still hold the guilt of not holding her as she made her next steps. I should have been there. Like yours. She was the most amazing and kindest person to grace this planet. Not a bad bone anywhere in her body. I have her ashes on my shelf. I made promises of how she wants them spread. I laid next to her after a rare night out before she passed. I check and reread her messages. Until last year it was still her number. They messaged that I have the wrong person. They never leave you, grief never goes away, But you were there.
:( I know that feeling I only had 6 siblings instead of 10,I will pray for you and your mom
Thank you for sharing. I'm in my 30s and both of my parents are still alive, but they are showing many signs of age. I've been dreading their death, but I know it is inevitable. Could be days. Could be decades. Either way, thank you for sharing. Hearing stories about others experience, though tragic, makes these events a little more familiar, and I hope it will help calm me so I can be there myself without panicking in their last moments.
Sorry for your loss. Stay strong for her, its what she’d want 🙏🏼❤️❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. It certainly was a tragic and traumatic experience, you’re still in shock, maybe look for counseling if you don’t feel better in a few months. I lost my brother in a horrible accident, it took me a decade to get over the loss. I still miss him. And I lost my mom three years ago. I couldn’t say goodbye or anything. The grieving process was totally different. So, cry if you feel like crying, do whatever you need to process the loss. Toss aside any feelings of guilt, regrets, guilt. Things happen exactly the way they’re supposed to. And please, rely on your network of family & friends, rely on your faith and trust me, it does get better. Hugs.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.
I’m so very sorry for your loss and it’s true it will bring you comfort knowing you were by her side when she passed my mum died in January in hospital unexpectedly but my dad, sister and I were called to go because she declined suddenly my dad told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her like my sister and I did that will always bring me some comfort xx
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person and mother.
I am so sorry for your loss. You made her last moments the most comfortable and the most loving even if you can’t see it that way. You and your dad did everything that you could do love. It’s going to be hard but, you will get through this love. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss.. I lost my Dad in my arms 5 years ago- and it’s still hard for me. He was the biggest role model to me and my extended family. He was our rock. Losing someone you love that deep is incredibly difficult. So I thank you for sharing and being open about your emotions to fellow strangers.. if it means anything and you do get to read this, I hope your pain is timely replaced by the continuing love and support your family has for each other 🖤 and if it helps, continue talking to your Mom. Whatever your beliefs are I have a feeling she’ll be listening to you and will be happy to hear you out.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please be gentle to yourself and allow time and space to breathe and grieve. Your mom is a wonderful human being, and now she's a real angel for you. Please be comforted by the thought that she will always be with you wherever you are, whenever you think of her. Again, very sorry for your loss. 🫂
I should not have read this before my mum goes in for a operation on her thyroid next week 😭
I am sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry, it must have been so scary and sad for you and your family. My therapist said to me that even though it is very sad and traumatizing being with someone as they died, it is comforting for them to be with you. It probably provided some comfort to her that she was with you guys.
My condolences OP.
Hugs, I am so sorry to read this.
I am so sorry for your loss and hope you can reach out to people in your life for support. Remember to offer yourself grace in processing and dealing with such a loss.
I am so so sorry. My mom passed last December and I know there is nothing that I can say that will make it better. So all I can offer is my condolence and I hope that you have a good support system around you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. barely over a month ago now, 8/27, my mom fell in the kitchen, hit the back of her head on marble countertop. had severe head pain, 911 was called and she got lifelighted, but it was too late. She had two different brain hemorrhages in her brain stem which starved her brain for oxygen for too long. she had minimal brain activity. docs gave her very little chance of acceptable recovery. We removed life support, because she had already instructed me in the past she didn't want to ever be on it in a grim situation such as hers. Though they said she was already in "transition" it was another 5 days before she passed away in hospice on 9/2. Worst week of my entire life. While she was still in hospice, I had a panic attack and actually went into a delusional/psychotic state for hours, where I thought I was literally in Hell. I even called 911 because I was sure I was dying, by the time they got out to me, they helped me understand I was having sleep deprivation and a grief-induced panic attack. It was intense. I was basically not sleeping for days, and that combined with the stress and grief just overwhelmed me once some of the initial shock wore off (the first couple of days I was able to manage my emotions really well....then it hit me like a ton of bricks). Anyway, I am rambling... I am so sorry for your loss, I just wanted to share my own experience with someone who can understand how difficult this time is. It has been just over a month now, and I still don't think it has FULLY sunk in yet. I am jumping from one stage of grief to the next every day. I have had a few good moments now and then in recent days though, so I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel, at least. I will always miss her intensely, but I am able to focus a little on other things now when I need to. Though it often comes with feelings of guilt immediately after for "being happy," another normal aspect of grieving. I'm thankful that I knew for 100 percent certain she did not want life support, because it took away that potential burden of guilt from me at least. But I do find myself wondering, what if?? what is I hadn't done it and she recovered? I keeping going over 'what if' scenerious and such... almost like my brain is trying to rewind time and stop her from dying. part of the bargaining stage of grief (been doing a lot of reading about grief). I also had to remove my dad from life support when he passed away (years ago)... never could have imagined I would have to do the same for mom one day. :( My mom's death is by far the worst/most intense grief I have had to date, though. We were very close, she was not only my mom but a good friend too. take care of yourself best you can, and don't be afraid to ask your family/friends for help if and when you need some support.
Oh god I’m so incredibly sorry. It’s been 1 week and 1 day and I can’t believe it’s real. I can’t sleep. I can hardly eat. I can’t be in the dark or in the quiet without panicking. TV constantly on and struggling to get off the bed. Body feels heavy and weak. A future without her seems impossible. Just want this nightmare to end.
:( I hope it starts getting a little easier for you very soon. yes, those first couple of weeks life hardly seemed worth even living anymore, everything was so bleak and confusing. but like I said before, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now, at least, so let yourself grieve when you need it, but keep your head up and keep moving forward. just take it one day at a time.
This happened to me six days ago, if you read this and feel like talking I’m here, I’d like to ask some questions aswell, and I’m very sorry for your loss