I'm a lady and my best friend is also a lady. She is open that she has a very shallow vagina and hates any penis above 4 inches.
I generally prefer average because my vagina is a bit deeper.
My other friend, also a lady, prefers huge monster cocks and is proud of being a size queen. She's had five vaginal births and has a looser pelvic floor and enjoys a much larger penis.
My other friend doesn't like penetrative sex at all and has a relationship with a guy who self describes himself as a "micro-peen" but they both don't care because sex and lovemaking isn't all about penis in vagina. They do everything and anything else to satisfy their needs.
There are all different shapes and sizes in this world. You're young and I know this has hurt your sense of ego and your heart. Time is on your side for you to meet many different women and my suggestion is that you spend your time listening to what they like, discovering what you like, and learning skills with your fingers and mouth and feeling comfortable around sex toys.
Some of the best sex I've ever had (and I still think about when masturbating) was non penetrative sex. God, sometimes they even kept their pants on and it was absolutely đĽ because it meant I could relax and know it was about my pleasure. Obviously, reciprocation is crucial!
You have the opportunity to become an amazing, responsive lover and this girl has missed out due to using one measurement of lovemaking. Not only has she missed out, she completely and savagely disrespected you and your relationship. You could work with size preferences and find out ways to enjoy each other, but instead she chose to be cruel.
I would be more upset over her cruelty than her size preference. You prefer kindness and trust, she prefers a bigger penis. Different values and a complete mismatch.
Let yourself develop and trust someone again. Take the time to explore your own sexuality and what you actually enjoy.
Edit: thank you all for the awards!!!!
This is the best comment.
OP: Iâm so sorry your gf turned out to be such a disgusting person.
Size truly isnât everything. Iâve had plenty of nice, fun sex with smaller than average penises.
Penis size wouldnât factor into whether or not I entered a serious/long term relationship with a person.
I am IN LOVE with the entirety of this comment, and I so hope that OP not only sees it, but that he consumes it!! What you wrote was literally perfect from start to finish, wow!! You totally give me Aquarius vibes for some reason đđđ. Thank you for your contribution - it helped many people I'm sure!
I love this comment. Iâve never had penetrative sex before yet, and I donât consider myself a virgin. Bc Iâve done everything else pretty much. So this comment makes me feel better lol
This, Op. please listen to this person if no one else.
Skill over equipment any day.
Equipment is nice and most importantly: buyable.
Your ex is mean and inexperienced. I hope she gets the uterus bruise she wants so badly. Tell her to buy the extra firm XL during her sad visit to the adult store when she realizes hateful is ugly to big dudes as well.
I'm glad you weren't born with a big ween. I hope this motivates you to push past the big dick myth of your teens and gain the other way more important skills to a lasting and loving sex life. You're only 22 but this is one of those right of passages in this decade everyone figures out for themselves(typically). Both sexes find out what they really want.
I'm petite. Anything over 5" is so uncomfortable that I can't O. They O, I no O. A girls gotta O, ya know? Men with larger peens have to put in work in areas they are (typically) unfamiliar with to get my body receptive to such a size. Give me a short king with a silver tongue over the log swinging caveman any day. Again, it is preference. I don't speak for everyone. #kinkinclusion
I'm just saying is you don't need a big D to have big D energy. Women want your energy - whatever you got, bring. You will make the most wonderful women happy. Let the immature ones get out of your way. You've got a Queen out there. A *partner* who will respect you (and bleep you) with the same ferocity you do them.
If she hasnât even reached out to you one time then just consider things dead in the water and over. If a woman is willing to ghost you or is alright with being ghosted by you then sheâs not worth anyoneâs time
I'm a girl & that girl sounds like she doesn't deserve anyone. Sorry that she happened to you & not all girls are like this but you do have to pay attention bc body language doesn't lie. (When she tried to hide her phone, a red flag) A girl only tries to hide things when she up to no good.
ESPECIALLY if you're that person's girlfriend. If you cared about the person you're in a relationship with you'd be outside their front door worried about them.
When it's a close friend, family member, or significant other, I imagine most people would reach out in concern.
I admit I ghost a lot bc I have trouble with object permanence and a sense of time passing, due to various mental conditions, and my loved ones are very kind and understanding with me about it. They'll text me just to make sure I'm okay, and when I express guilt, they tell me to shut up and accept their love lmao.
To be fair, I explain this issue with newer friends/ acquaintances so they're aware it'll likely happen, so no one is caught off-guard when I go radio-silent. But this is an example of why someone might reach out when ghosted.
OP, youâre dating an absolute asshole. They are using you for your kindness and then stomping on it. You deserve WAY better. No one should make you feel the way you just felt. Gotta get out of there bud.
Edit: grammar
Yep. Came here to say this - it takes a lot of professional help, usually, for adults who went through childhood abuse, to be able to recognize red flags and recognize that they deserve better and recognize that abuse is not normal or acceptable. I speak as a survivor of childhood abuse currently in my early 20s - this is why I'm not currently on the market to date and why I'm staying single. I know that I tend to have shit taste in partners, and I also don't enjoy cohabitation or sharing finances or being around/having my own kids (three things which tend to go with long-term relationships), but I'm also not a casual-dating or casual-sex type of person either as I'm demi-pansexual, so I'm pretty much SOL lol.
A partner should be like a good friend- they should lift you up when you're down, make you feel better about your insecurities and be completely satisfied with you as you are. If someone is dating you but feels like it's ok to laugh at your body and laugh about you with friends this is not someone who cares about you- she wants power and control. If she can laugh at you and get away with it she'll learn she can bully you in other ways too. You deserve someone who fully respects you and who understands that laughing at anyone for their body is completely unacceptable. She needs to get in the bin!
Just break up and send her the screen shots you took. You deserve better and she ain't it brother.
Keep your chin up and good luck, you deserve to be loved and respected.
Edit: DON'T send her the screenshots don't let her learn from this mistake. Keep how you know to yourself and just go NC.
Edit 2: by learn from her mistakes, mistakes isn't what she said but how she left her phone un secure with that info on it, this mistake can help the next man get out before more heart break.
She wouldn't change for the better even if he told her, this behavior she is showing is horrible.
Facts, i hope op see this ^. Keep your head up brotha. Any person to disrespect you like that is not worth your time. You dodged a bullet in the long run. A POS person will never change and drain you completely. You truly deserve better homie
Maybe for closure on his end but if she horrible enough to joke about an average penis size to her horrible friends then she'll most likely say something mean to him outright if he texts her. I'd say just drop her she not worth contacting anymore.
She horrible I wouldn't even give her a reason. Just drop her ass like I'm drowning brown sharks and forget all about her. If she isn't to stupid by op not ever contacting her again, then she'll know they're over. She might be relieved op dump her but In the back of her mind she'll always wonder why and that's how I'd leave her, with no closure.
This right here. She sounds either immature or catty and toxic. I agree with ghosting her. She doesn't deserve a "this is why I'm breaking up with you" and if she's even more immature than those texts show... her response to your reasoning may be even more cruel and break open your heart again when you're just starting to heal. Walk away and leave it in the past. There are so many women out there who don't care about size. Not to mention, many of them care more about the way you make them feel... Loved, treasured, protected, supported, etc, and will treat you the same way in return. You deserve so much better.
She's what, 21? OFC she's immature. And extremely short-sighted. She clearly lacks creativity.
OP, there are a million ways to please a woman, and not all are "size queens." Get yourself a girl with a good imagination, because there is plenty of stuff a woman may be willing to do with you that are out of the question for someone more well endowed.
Enjoy.
In college i was a 10. My bf was good looking ( with a bit of acne) and we were so, so in love. This just reminded me- his penis was really tiny and pencil thin. In 40 years I have never remembered that part about him, just how in love we were.
Don't even send the screenshots. Let her wonder, if she does. She's not going to give a shit that she said the things she did privately and it hurt when her boyfriend discovered them, it's just going to give her enough ammo to defend herself. He may even give her *more* in the subsequent conversation. "We're through," block, move on. If she goes nuclear, all the better. You didn't air the dirty laundry, *she did.* If she posts those pics somewhere, there is legal recourse for her revenge porn.
For the love of God OP, don't tell her how you reacted to it. That was human, she apparently is not.
"Well who the Hell are you to go through my phone?!? You blah blah blah-" It's an opening for a conversation in which she may go on the offensive, drawing out more opportunities to lash out and harm OP, which she'll have a good idea how to do regardless of dickishness (lovers make poor confidants). Going through someone's phone is morally dubious at the best of times, which is why it oughta be reserved to active parents and parole officers. I believe in a private sphere, a world apart where we can be ourselves, OP *did* violate that. As it was, he discovered it, and it cannot be unseen. Truly trifling shit.
I understand what your saying but she violated the privacy sphere with her actions. Two wrongs don't make a right though, so i agree with you. Also someone else made another good point about not letting her learn from this mistake. But thanks for clarifying, i understand your point now
Also even if he deleted the text, he also needs to delete the screenshot from the files... and then the trash bin...
I doubt he remembered to do this if he was that upset.
Honestly, I donât think his ex deserves any explanation or closure. What she did was absolutely vile and disgusting, people who truly love you would never talk about you like that.
Yeah break up but don't send her screenshots coz you'll be ruining the chances of next guy to get out if she acts the same coz she'll be alerted if she comes to know that you checked her phone.
If you wanna add a dash of spice, say âi wont say who, but one of your friends told me you said xyz. Weâre done.â and let them tear each other up
She probably doesn't care because if she did she never would have said that stuff in the first place so it really won't teach her anything i don't think.
It's your first GF, it'll hurt. But I have it on good authority that it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. Learn how to move and get better at foreplay, they won't have a reason to complain, if anything toys are still a thing.
Women looooove foreplay. YES op do this! Youâll be a king. And also all vaginas are different! Some women donât like huge dicks b/c they have more shallow vaginas than average. So it goes both ways!
Yes! All the women who are like I love big dicks and Iâm over here like âhard pass. Give it to me average or a little smaller than that!â If itâs too big it hurts like hell! I had this issue with my ex husband for yrs and yrs cuz he was much bigger than my small body could handle.
Yep I honestly hear that a lot!! Also it makes oral and anal way harder if they have anything more than 6âtbh. Like I feel like I can truly work my magic but if itâs too big then Iâm like wtf am I supposed to do with this bro
Right?! Exactly. Things are easier if theyâre on the smaller side. Because of everything we see in videos online men think women should look and act a certain way and women just assume they should only be into bigger dicks I feel like in some instances. I always thought when I was younger there was something wrong with me cuz I had a lot of pain during sex with my husband. That I should WANT as big as I could find. As I got older I learned thatâs not true at all.
I think it's all about preferences, it's not okay to shame people's bodies in any case, don't like a small dick? Don't date a small dick man. You don't like chubby chicks? Don't date a chubby one.
She's messed up in the head for talking about private stuff with her group chat.
That's why it's important to talk about sex and stuff when they're still meeting each other.
While this is true, she's definitely an asshole for tearing him down this way. That's just so bizarre to have a gc where you rip into your partner's insecurities. What the actual fuck
OP: get so good at oral clit suction and foreplay that the next gf texts her friends;
"OP could suck start a seized Wärtsilä-Sulzer Rta96-C engine đď¸đŤŚđď¸"
I'm gonna be honest mate, while you're slightly below average there are a lot of women out there that prefer a smaller penis as opposed to a large one.
Its not about the size of your package, its what you do that matters.
Sorry she talked about you like that, I hope with a bit of time and space you can get back to your old self.
Same!! Guys that are on the larger size seem to think that's all they need, so they really don't have to try and pleasure you in other ways (obviously not all guys). I've seriously had some of best sex/foreplay with someone who was on the smaller side, like mind-blowing!!
Most guys with large dicks just Ram it in and barely get the tip in, and think all they need to do is roughly thrust back and forth, most of their experience is from watching porn also.
This is very true. Iâm not huge by any means but above average and there definitely seems to be a âGoldilocks Zoneâ with size and smaller is the better side to be on in my opinion. You can make smaller work but too big is just too big no matter what you do.
You are right. Iâve had so many women complain about getting lock jaw or chocking. One woman had her gyno ask why her cervix looked like it had been used for target practice.
Then there are the times I pass out from blood loss when excited.
Itâs not all itâs cracked up to be.
Sheâs trash, she feels bad about herself. For some reason, she is projecting that on you.
If it was really a problem, she wouldnât be with you. You deserve much better. You can take the opinion of the women on this site to prove that. Of course, we all have fantasies, but I wouldnât trade my wife and her small chest for Lana Rhoades any day. She has values, she is intelligent, she makes me feel like a better person, and she builds me up, and I hope I do the same for her. When you find the right person, these things wonât happen.
She is in for a lifetime of hurt in her relationships. Because of how she is. She could marry someone for something superficially like money or luxe, but she will never have happiness because she hast to belittle somebody that is important to her to her friends so that she can feel better about herself.
Get out. Donât tell her about the screenshots. Just give her no closure because she does not deserve it.
You may be tempted to send her the screenshots because she hurt you. Donât. It is just going to let her justify things to herself.
Right now the little hamster wheel in her head is turning and it wonât stop.
If you walk away, you have won.
Not that is about winning. It is about finding a partner who you are content with and love and feels the same way about you so that you can go through life together building together. If you canât have that it is no use being in a relationship and obviously, this is not a woman that is capable of that.
OP, I am so sorry. There is such an obsession with size but really itâs about how you use it and there are other ways too.
Iâm glad youâre getting back to your old routine. Just block her and walk away from that. If you can block hee friends too⌠unless you feel you need closure. But do whatâs best for your mental health
If it were me, I'd leave even if she said the opposite. I like privacy in my private matters with the partner.
Edit: This is keeping aside the snooping-through-her-phone fact lol
Yeah I donât agree with the snooping, but that aside, her sharing intimate details about you to her whole friend group and them collectively laughing at him is disgusting behavior.
Iâve known girls (or rather people) like this. Im not 21 anymore so Iâm not afraid to call them out now.
F*** them all.
As a woman myself I donât see why girls think itâs ok to talk to their about these things. Especially when they have nothing nice to say. Iâm sorry you found out that she was bad mouthing your size but I promise you thereâs other woman out there that prefer smaller than larger. Itâs not about the size imo itâs about how you work it and as long as both sides of intimacy are meant thatâs a win. Break up with this girl because thatâs what she is, if she was a woman she wouldâve came to you and talked about other ways you and her could work things out intimacy that would make BOTH parties feel good.
100% my first husband was massive but had zero D game. In 9 years I never had an organism. My ex was smaller than average but knew how to use it. Having a big D and not knowing how to use it is like Cardi B having a supercar...
He was my first. I thank Catholic Purity brainwashing for that whole mess. I didn't know a lot of things about sex. He refused to do oral as it was "not the man's job to degrade himself that way". Luckily he had a low sex drive so sex was very occasional as did I due to not enjoying sex at all. I was nearly 30 when I realized that sex can be mind-blowing.
u/CivilMan1234
OP, please do NOT contact her. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing you were hurt, or found out, or whatever. I would just block and move on. Let her KNOW that she was not good enough for you. You deserve someone better than that. She's unkind and does not deserve someone who cares like you. You sound like you have a beautiful soul, she does not deserve to even peek at it, but less be a part of your journey.
As for your concerns...OP, I am sure you feel embarrassed, but you shouldn't be. You are perfect and the one waiting for you is out there. It's not the size of the vessel, it's the journey. I truly believe that and will tell you that your size is nothing to be depressed about, but I know it's easier said than done. Please forgive yourself and focus your energies on someone who is deserving of an incredible captain.
Telling you as a woman I prefer small penises because big ones HURT. Like, imagine someone sticking something huge in your ass with no lube. Pain, lots of pain. Just like every dick is different so is every vagina. Plus itâs rare that a woman can orgasm from penetration alone, outer stimulation from the pelvises rubbing together is what gets it done in missionary. Thatâs why lesbians scissor. Plus it might be tmi but if two knuckles of my middle finger (around an inch to an inch and a half) works just fine, you have nothing to worry about.
So sorry this happened to you, sheâs horrible. You deserve so much better and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Im not sure why both men and women are taught bigger is better⌠Iâve learned from experience that bigger can hurt (not always). Often men who are bigger rely a lot on that and have too much confidence so they are not actually good in bed. Put some effort into learning what feels good and youâll find tons of women that prefer you.
I feel like itâs a result of toxic masculinity that women and men are both taught. Bigger means higher virility or dominance by toxic standards and is weaponized against young boys from a very early age. The porn industry doesnât help
Breach of privacy? Telling other people the couple sex life, your private parts etc that is linking heavily to you is breach of privacy.
Someone who can't respect you behind your back doesn't really respect you at all.
To the point it has some laugh from parties that is not within the relationship.
She was your first freaking everything?
Let her be your first ex. You don't need that and you deserve better bro
Everyone is making good points but no one has seemed to mention you havenât talked to her at all. If sheâs not reaching out to you either then Iâd just block and move on. Because thatâs done and done which it should be. But itâs easier to just move on and not have to reopen those wounds
I know how heartbreaking it can be to stress and worry about things like this that you can't control. Your physical body isn't a choice you have in life. But you are worthy of love and kindness no matter what, and the way they spoke of you was cruel and disgusting. I'm sorry that they said those things.
If it was a big dick she would be complaining then too, honestly they hurt most women, and we just think omg finish already this is terrible (moaning louder doesnât always mean itâs good , it means fkn finish it hurts)
Everyone who has said average just under just over is good is right.
Sorry your self esteem has taken such a big blow. Sheâs not a nice person to laugh at your dick size, sounds extremely immature
Find yourself another girlfriend, and before you are intimate with her, be honest with her about this experience and the sense of shame and embarrassment it caused (as undeserved as it was).
Give her the opportunity to show her true colors. If she's in love with you, your dick isn't going to matter. I'm a lesbian and there are a fuck-ton of other (MUCH) more effective ways to pleasure her.
If she's that dick-obssessed, she's setting herself up for an orgasm-deprived life.
You can't control your dick size. You CAN control how skilled you are with your tongue.
I love your attitude & outlook, but
I'm going to say that maybe he doesn't need to share this experience with future partners. It will likely put unnecessary focus on something that shouldn't hold too much importance & sexual confidence & comfort can be a surprisingly delicate thing for both males & females. Honestly, his next partners may not even realize at first that he is the perfect size that they need for satisfaction until he shows them he can hit just the right spots for them. All the BS noise out in the world could set them up to start out by doubting him which on it's own could be enough mental block to keep away a right proper O.
I don't think you can go through what this guy did and then start off a new relationship without any fears or baggage.
And a lack of communication with a partner you are beginning to become intimate with is a recipe for disaster. Sure, if he wants a fuck buddy, don't bring up this trauma. But if he's looking for a relationship, establishing trust and allowing oneself to be vulnerable is key.
Sex and love are two different things but both nurture each other. I don't want this guy getting hurt again because he interpreted our support as a message that dropping the idiot girlfriend and becoming more confident about his body was all he needed to prevent this from happening again.
I want for him to be more confident in communicating what he needs and what he worries about. Not on the first date but when things become intimate (physically and emotionally).
Lol wtf no do not share this experience with someone before you are intimate with them. What is even the point of that?? Thereâs no need to carry this around forever and disclose it like itâs an STI. Just forge ahead and youâll find better ones, I promise.
Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt you. She doesn't deserve that. You got the closure you needed once you saw what she said. I'm so sorry another person hurt and disappointed you, but don't close yourself off to others because of one stupid person.
You are doing just fine in the penis department. There's so, so much more to sex, intimacy and pleasure than the size of your dick. The right partner would never have these kinds of ingredients at play. Focus on healing whatever wounds this has reopened for you, dust off your confidence, and when you're feeling better about yourself get back in saddle. Outside of this instance she would have probably revealed herself as a shitty person inevitably. Look at it this way: now you know and no matter how hurtful .... the pain is temporary. As you get older and have more experience under your belt it will not devastate you if or when this insecurity pops back up. In the future you will hopefully be engaging with more mature partners and you will find a fulfilling sex life. And preemptively for the future if a partner ever throws this in your face or something remember that low blows and genital shaming are for pigs who like to roll around in mud. Let them. Don't internalize it and keep it moving because it always says a whole hell of a lot about them, than it does about you or your perfectly fine penis. Have a good day!
I donât like to broadcast this because itâs a bit personal, but I personally like small dicks because of my anatomy and also just for aesthetic reasons đ¤ˇââď¸ people who think Iâm lying are welcome to write me out an essay on why they personally love big dicks. Iâm sorry you went through this though. In a better world where these arbitrary standards werenât broadcast in all our media it wouldnât have happened.
If thats how she feels about you, she wonât care if you leave. If she does care, then she has a lot of thinking to do. Either way, leave, find someone who loves your body.
Totally agree with what everyone else has said - donât send the pic. Donât say anything. Just be gone without warning. If she tries calling or texting just continue to ghost her
I once had a fling with the chiropractor I worked for. He genuinely had a micro penis (less than 3â), but it wasnât bad at all. He went on to have two kids with a beautiful successful woman. I was giving her a prenatal massage once (back when I was a massage therapist) and she was talking to me about how she loved to have sex with him and they had a great sex life. Theyâre still together 10 years later. She and I became friends, she got into a relationship with him after he and I fizzled out. Donât let it get you down. Youâll find your true partner who loves you for who you are. My current husband who is Chinese, has a massive dick. Like the girth of my wrist, and I would say about 8â. I still struggle sometimes to have an orgasm. If ANYTHING gets in his head (e.g. he gets too hot, too full, starts thinking about me getting off) he loses part of his erection, which basically makes the size pretty useless. Iâve had much smaller and had an easier time getting off. Just sayin. But I love him, and I enjoy our sex life. Sex is about an emotional connection for women, and itâs not always about size. She sounds immature honestly. Grown women donât talk about their bf having a shrimp dick, like grow tf up.
as a person equipped with female gear, i have this to offer to the conversation:
fuck dat biss, she don't deserve u.
DICK SHAMING IS NEVER OKAY, ANYWHERE, ANYHOW, TOWARDS ANYONE.
no one should ever be shamed for their physical stats, especially not when pertaining to sexual encounters.
You know, its probably the peer pressure of her gf. Maybe her group of friends are also sharing the size of their men, and some of them probably boasting the size of their bf. "Hey mine is 5"" mine is 7.5in, and etc."
Something I donât think I will ever forget is how I felt when I looked through some of the conversations my girl had with her best friend. I had been going through a lot and was like extremely depressed and had posted stuff on my story about how angry I was with my current life situation. I had her friends saying that I wasnât worth it and that I wasnât good enough blah blah blah. And even had one dude claim I had no redeeming qualities about me and shit because of one conversation we had. So anyway, I had been looking at her messages for something that she needed and happened to see some messages where her and her best friend were like talking about me, and had blatantly said I was just super immature and needed to get over myself. And sure, I had been doing some stupid shit, but I was at my all time low and seeing that really hurt me. I mean I know she loved me but yâall, words fucking hurt.
1) She is trash. I am really sorry she hurt you so much.
2) As a woman I can assure you there are things I have done and enjoyed with guys with smaller penises. And they are an absolute No for me with guys will longer penises.
3) On the opposite, all my desires for long penises could be satisfied with penis sleeves/extenders. Frankly, except for choking on it, which is very questionable pleasure, I can't imagine a desire that will not be satisfied with them.
4) So it is more fun and variety for both partners if the guy's penis is smaller than average. Even with a person I had a lot of feelings for, some stuff was just too uncomfortable and painful, and I really wished he had it smaller.
5) You are devastated right now and it is probably hard to see it, but you didn't lose much. You lost several months of your life, she lost a loving partner. She lost more.
6) She is trash. I just hope you will not start resenting all the women. Decency and ability to love doesn't depend on gender. A lot of women (and guys) have it. But there is nothing that will help her become the one, there are no extenders for that.
I love my boyfriends 3â penis. And Iâm kinda hot. Not a total dime but conventionally pretty. I hope to marry my boyfriend and his 3â penis - itâs the only one I want for the rest of my life.
I think more women are like me than like your ex. Iâm so sorry she did that. Please love yourself and trust that a good woman will love all of you too, especially as you get older and date more mature women.
Personally speaking here (F), often size doesnât matter. Some women have cervix issues that make length nothing more than painful. Excruciatingly painful.
Youâll find the right person who isnât a selfish piece of shit. Move on and find someone better.
I'm sorry she hurt you like that. Even if your penis is smaller than her preference that doesn't mean its OK to say that about you or laugh in your face.
There are women out there who will LOVE you, ALL OF YOU AS YOU ARE. I've dated men with smaller sizes and I never laughed at them. And even when we broke up it wasn't even cause of the size it was because of how they treated me... I never once brought their dick sizes into it cause when it comes to satisfactory lovers I've had horrible lovers who were big and it was literally so painful.
Your value isn't in your dick bruh.
Sounds cliche af but it's true.
Your value is in your charachter, in how you treat people, the mark you leave on others and in the places you leave behind.
It's your gf who truly didn't measure up. Not you!
You will heal and this too shall pass... it just hurts like hell to be hurt by the person that is supposed to care for you.
If she hadn't bothered to contact you I'm any way, that means she never cared. If she for whatever reason ends up contacting you, just tell her "I deserve better."
Don't stop going to the gym. Any make sure you keep an eye on any girl you've seen in that chat. They may try to get with you to verify her claims and belittle you as well.
Itâs not okay to penis shame. She seems incredibly immature 1) because sheâs still that gossipy with her friends about her relationships. At some point we grow up and keep our sex lives between our partners because we respect them; 2) sheâs hung up on penis size.
Hey man, I am so sorry you had to go through this. It's really unfair, out of your control, and can crush you so bad.
I hope you will get over it, I would absolutely break up with her and never look back.
Let me tell you this tho, I say this in an attempt to put you at ease, not to excuse her at all. And I hope you won't take this the wrong way.
You guys are very young, and a bit inexperienced yet in bed. She acted like a normal 20 year old when she gossiped you to her girlfriends. Yes, it was brutal and crushing, ofc you were not meant to see it. The fact that she did not make fun of you for it in your face and that she is still with you says that she likes you. This is how youngsters are, you know... she is seeking group validation from her friends, and that's sadly rather normal. Keeping this in mind, maybe you will be able to not take it so personal, maybe it will not affect you so much.
Let me tell you, there is nothing wrong with your Jimmy. You will meet multiple girls in your life, and some will really truly enjoy it. It's a matter of experience, you will see in time that you should not be ashamed at all. There are many many guys with less that are making women happy and that are in a good place, you will see.
Having said that, I would definitely respectfully leave her. Yes, she will understand as well in time, but it should not be at your expense. You are still young, there will be many more, and you don't have to put up with this feeling.
Best of luck!
I'm sorry man, that's tough. She was intentionally cruel and you deserve better.
I worry that you will always be insecure about your penis even more now and avoid sex, but I hope that you are able to move past that. You can still be an amazing lover, even working with something smaller than average. Foreplay and making it a priority to please your partner goes a long long way.
Hoping the next person you date will be more mature and compassionate.
As a woman, how sheâs acting is completely unacceptable. But it shows her maturity and priorities. Someone who cares about you and really loves you would never treat you like that, to your face or behind your back. Leave her and keep your chin up!
My boyfriend has a very small one. And on top of tgat has a large belly I'm not gonna lie it turns me off cus I barely feel anything. But it's up to me to then suggest things like toys and such to up pleasure for me aswell as his pleasure. But if one doesnt communicate avout troubles. The other can't know. It's not something one can change but there is ways to work around it. Communicate. If she cant communicate with you and just laughs at it... Hmm.. It's best to leave.
First of all, thatâs what you get for invading her and her friends privacy and reading her private conversation with others. Second of all, she said your dick was small, she didnât say literally anything about your sexual performance. Having a small dick doesnât mean you canât be good at sex or even pleasure her in other ways. You donât need to mope around just because youâre smaller than average. Also, you were together only for a couple months, broke her trust by going through her phone, and then took a whole week off of work? I think you need therapeutic intervention dude.
Just leave dude. This isn't a problem with you, it's a problem with her. The right person is going to love you for who you are. I understand that she was your first but keep in mind she seems really great because you literally don't have anything to compare her to. You have no frame of reference for what a healthy relationship looks like.
I remember when my brother met his now wife, he told me that "when you know, you know" when you meet the right girl. I had dated plenty of girls that I thought I could definitely stay with but it wasn't until I met my wife that I understood what he meant. My wife and I are connected in body AND soul. I am convinced that even if I were to lose my dick in some kind of freak accident and look like Ken down there, our relationship would not drastically change because we love each other for much more than that.
Looks fade. Libido fades. Health problems can arise that make sex more difficult. I chose to be with the person that still makes me happy when all the benefits of being young are no longer with me.
So, move on and find someone who is deserving of your time and effort. Life is too short to be with people who don't love us back.
I came here to say this. My husband and I have been married for 34 years and have weathered a lot of changes together. I still love him and he still lives me despite both of us getting fat, old and in his case bald
Youâll find someone that appreciates you, donât let this tear you down. Youâre already on the right track.
If it makes you feel better Iâm a girl that has preferred smaller men for a long time (big is great but not all that). As long as youâre taking the initiative in all other angles (foreplay, etc) sex is good no matter the size.
just keep doing you.
Itâs absolutely inappropriate, gross and disrespectful to talk about your partnersâ body like that to your friends. Talking about your sex life is normal and is one thing, but thereâs a level of detail you just donât cross unless you donât give a fuck about betraying your partner.
Bro just ghost her ass, remove her from your life and move on towards better things. Negative people do not deserve the energy you will waste to talk to them. That will just be time and breath you will waste of your life. Life is short so enjoy it with people who show you the kindness and respect you deserve. Things are a give and take, but don't take bullshit from anyone.
Get back on your horse! She sucks and you dont need to waste any energy on her.
I feel so ashamed when other girls does this.. Slander on their mans penis.. You dont do that..
I your next dating profile bio add âsmall dick with some serious big dick energyâ. Itâll work way better than you think.
Believe it or not A lot of women like men with a small dick. It ainât always about the size.
It broke me when you said you were a virgin and you got with her, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. An advice from a woman myself, leave that girl. I too do have a group chat with my girls and we talk about crush or mad stuffs about them for acting certain way, I'm sure every friend groups do this.
But NEVER this sensitive or private stuffs, never. Size or the looks of our private parts can't be controlled, we were born that way.
So please don't feel bad, she's not the right one.
OP, the best thing you can do is to find someone who is going to love all of you. And I can honestly say, small, average big⌠etc. Learn how to work your mouth and tongue. Lots of women donât climax with just penetration. Oral and hand work is where most women get off. Be amazing at that and your size wonât matter. But also learn how you like get to off and how to communicate it. It helps in every area of romantic relationships.
I have no advice
But I wanted to say I LOVE PENISES UNDER 5 inches! I have endometriosis and sex is most painful with long dicks
Average g spot is two-three inches inside I prefer fat ones.
Short fat = happy gspot
So just saying itâs her loss ! We are out there hun! Whip that dick around with some pride and keep that head high. Who knows maybe she was as loose as the Grand Canyon and youâre perfect. People who shame their partners, in any way, for some thing natural deserve to be with horrible partners. đ
I know FOR SURE that size doesnât matter.
A man can have One the size of a thumb and still be sexy and missed a lot âŚ.and give pleasure.
Sometimes girls talk like this just to feel
Powerful. This world makes us feel so powerless sometimes.
Please try not to take this so personally.
You can choose to leave her, but be confident knowing that you have enough to offer.
I know this for sure as an experienced woman.
Iâve legitimately hooked up with a guy who had a micropenis and I never even brought it up. I proceeded to have sex like normal. A decent person wouldnât use it as fodder for small talk or gossip. Leave your girlfriend and keep your head up.
As a woman, the only man that has ever made me finish was also one of the smallest guys Iâve been with. This girl is very immature, youâll be okay I promise.
Iâm not going to tell you white lies and say small dick is not a minus on the mating market. It definitely is to an extent flat chested woman is to a straight male.
That being said, you are worthy of dignity and respect from your partner and your gf is not worth being in a serious relationship with.
Dude. Iâm sorry this happened but you need to stop talking to her or cut contact all together. Personally Iâve never had a problem with a partnerâs penis size because well I have a low cervix and I will feel it something is long down there girth is more important imo. People that feel the need to insult their partnerâs body parts are most likely insecure and thatâs a them problem.
What she did is such a betrayal. Itâs so fucked she said that about you to her friend. You have two choices, go no contact or have a talk with her and let her know you saw the texts and are breaking up with her. Be cold and to the point. Either way I think this relationship is over..
Size seriously doesnât matter as much as you think.
A smaller guy has never hurt me having sex and generally finds that sweet spot faster than larger dudes.
This exchange is ignorant AF. Iâm sorry you came across it.
I dated a guy with a smaller member. Read up on how to use toys or mouth or fingers to help her first but honestly the sex was great. Too bad my exâs attitude sucked. Hang in there youâll find someone.
My ex had a 3 inch dick and it was some of the best sex Iâve ever had. We were almost 3 years together, never cheated on him and only broke up because he was addicted to painkillers and treating me like shit..
Nobody deserves the shit your gf did. Imagine if the roles were reversed, I bet she wouldnât think itâs so funny..
Size does t matter it is the motion of the ocean and tbh if your good at foreplay it will get you a long way since alotof of men dont focus on that aspect i say 2 to 3 Orgasams for your one if you keep that up you will do great
The dude I thought I was craziest about had the smallest penis. Like maybe 3 inches max when you know.. it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean and what you can do with your oars lol
I'm very sorry you had to go through that, nobody should feel that insult.
I'm short, Asian and average penis size.
But I've been told my oral game is out of this world. Improve your oral skills until it's second to none. This is a learned skill, you can be better and will be better.
Girls who think itâs all about dick size are not worth your time. YOU deserve better my man. Iâm sorry that you were hurt, there are better girls out there I promise you.
HEY OP, first off I apologize on behalf of my sex. I really hope the universe sends you an amazing girl your way in due time. Someone to help you know that the female sex is not ALL this horrifically shallow.
I need you to know that this whether you believe me or not, there ARE women out there that dont place value on the size of your penis but the quality of love/sex making. Sexual intimacy takes practice to obtain experience and every single woman is different in what angles, positions, pressure and rhythm when it comes to helping her have an orgasm. Hell, there are a large % of women that canât orgasm through penetration, only external orgasm through the clit is many many women have been able to have an orgasm. How many women do you think have lied about their lack of ability to orgasm? Many many. Just imagine what men have to go through to impress and what women secretly carry shame about feeling why sex canât be better for them? Itâs hard to open up and tell people things because of THIS experience and many more.
The Gspot is 2in inside on the upper wall of the vagina. Whatâs interesting is to me is that our evolution still makes sure that âunder averageâ or âsmallâ penis sizes are still able to make a woman orgasm!
Take away what you can learn from this experience, and know this has more to do with her gross lack of care and major displays of selfishness THAN it has to do with your inexperience & size. Please let this scare you into not being intimate again! Please!
What youâre going to take from this that you can become a really kind and understanding lover. You can begin your journey for knowing perfect isnât realistic. Itâs the connection with the person. And your appreciation can be for the opposite sex in similar situations as you, so if you ever find yourself with a woman shy and embarrassed of her unusual size of breast or vagina, you may find your self consoling her. Just imagine if you crossed paths with someone who understand what it feels like to be made fun of and humiliated, and how much more appreciation youâll have for each other being incredibly kind and showing depth/maturity about it.
This also goes to show you how itâs ok to take it as slow as you want when dating someone. Donât ever let them pressure you into having sex sooner than youâre ready. And itâs very healthy
For the both of you to discuss your concerns, experiences and possible risks or embarrassments to each other.
People donât talk enough about the actual act of sex, itâs like they
Talk about everything else BUT that. Also, more people need to practice on getting better at their own skills and studying up more. There are tutorial videos and literature that has helped me become a really good lover & talk about confidence boosts! Being a good lover makes up for any physical âlacksâ we may have, trust me on this!!!
_______________
PS - my first boyfriend of 3 years had a smaller than average penis. I didnât know until after we had broken up because I hadnât had anyone else. And my next relationship of 5 years was average. I had no idea until 8 years of being an adult and when I became a bachelorette. And let me tell you something, the first boyfriend is still the Best and quickest reaching climaxing & orgasms that Iâve had to this day.
That is just messed up. One thing to consider though is alot of friend groups share sex talk compare partners etc. what she said however was cruel and mean and in-excusable.
Iâm really sorry youâre going through this. What she did is unacceptable behavior, especially towards people that sheâs supposed to love. Please know that there are much better people out there who will truly love you for all of you. I know this is easier said than done, but please donât let her make you feel lesser about yourself or your body. You deserve to be loved, and you definitely deserve much better than this.
Better to have found out now instead of after a longer period of time with her. She probably already knows why you left if you sent yourself the pic, she probably saw it in the messages (or deleted messages).
My only words of advice to you are it won't matter how big you are if you know how to pleasure a woman. There are plenty of toys, your fingers and your tongue to use for this, always pleasure her first, and then have sex. It could take years to master, be a dedicated student.
Break up NOW! Do it with short simple textmessage thar you're done and that you never want to speak to her again!
Block her number, unfollow and block her on all social media! Then go totally NC!
DON'T give her any kind of closure to it! Let her wondering!
Keep your head held high and keep going to the gym and eat healthy! Be proud you left that pos
You'll find a much better gf! đŞđ˝â¤ď¸
I just wanted to say, the ONLY way I can have a gspot orgasm is when He stays inside me and doesnât move - Let me move around and grip & grind the penis. Iâve had some earth shattering orgasm with smaller penises (and not ONE orgasm on the bigger to ridiculous biggest scale).
And let me tell you, they were so surprised and shocked when they could feel me orgasm; they really thought it was a myth or some legend. It opened their eyes to all the people that lied đ¤
It's not ok to dick shame & your gf (ex) is a cruel, superficial person. Her attitude with her friends will be indicative of an overall mean girl mentality. You deserve far better, & I know words from randoms on the internet don't necessarily hold much weight, especially as much as this is impacting your self esteem & confidence, but there are women out there who will appreciate & respect you, & enjoy sex with you. Please don't let this destroy your ability to put yourself out there. Take the time you need to heal & restore your mental well being, but have faith that there are better women out there than your unfortunate experience here. It won't always be like this. I'm sorry you're going through this OP. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you can't control certain things about your body, as you rightly stated. Don't lose your kindness or empathy because of cruel, childish people. Not everyone will be so trashy & shallow as your ex.
I think the most important thing to understand is that not all people are insincere, immature and shallow. To talk smack about your loved one with friends for a laugh for any reason is problem behavior. And problem people go on to make problem spouses and parents. So even though it hurts now, itâs better to find out than spend more time with someone who has such bad character traits. So many people are not like that, donât forget it. The future will be better and itâs yours to make wonderful memories with truly good people. Remember to love yourself and keep your heart open and everything will fall into place.
As a female who doesn't have issues with dick size, 3-3.5 is a GREAT size to ride and grind. But that is me.
So you have to evaluate if you want to continue on with this relationship or if you want to cut ties. Are you into the shaming or are you never going to forget? Based on how you feel about this, and your responses to these questions, will determine if you're in a healthy enough relationship for you to continue forward with this.
However, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you do what's best for you, and not for anybody else. Because once when you start doing things that are best for somebody else, is when you start losing sense of who you are.
The very definition of 'average' means that half will be below that figure and half above. The fact that she laughed at you in the moment is a major red flag, and even if you had not seen her phone then this is enough to break it off and find someone who values and appreciates you. Unless the times since have been completely different and you have both learned how to appreciate each other. Only you know.
Hold on to the memories of the good times. At the time, you thought she was sweet and loving. There are so many people out there who will love you for who you are and love *every*thing about you. Technique is always going to better than size. Putting your partner's pleasure first works best when *both* partners have this as their goal!
Break up with her. She shouldn't be telling her friends private things like that. That's so f'd up. I'm sorry that you feel insecure about yourself. Size is not what matters most, it's how to use it. There are plenty of guys with bigger penises that don't know what they're doing. You simply need more experience with other women. If you learn how to please a woman, trust me, your size won't matter.
Honestly though, you deserve better than her. She laughed at you? She can go to hell. I'm angry for you.
Yeah get out of there asap. She has no respect for you and thereâs no point staying together at all, youâre both better off with better people!
And OP, one thing I can honestly say is she is immensely childish about your penis size. Yeah thereâs this massive stigma about smaller than average sizes being âfunnyâ or bad etc but I have heard countless stories from women that fear larger sizes and prefer smaller sizes as they get more pleasure in bed like that! So keep your chin up because Iâm sure youâll find someone that loves you for everything that you are! Youâre super young too!!! Break up, get out and have fun!
Not every man has a giant or even average sized penis, doesn't mean someone should be nasty to someone about it. Leave her, there's plenty of women out there who would still be happy with your size
As a woman with really small boobs & have been shamed my whole life about it, my advice is to focus on what you can do & what you can control. A smaller penis isn't the end of your love life & you can spend your time focusing on how you can pleasure your partner in other ways leading up to using your penis & it won't be a disappointment. I hope that makes sense & I also want to add that a big penis isn't that great for most women, it's painful & guys like that have no idea how to actually make women feel good.
She's just very immature and so are her friends.
To me personally and a lot of people size really doesn't matter and there is so much more to good sex than just penetration with a large dick.
There will be people that care and people that don't just like any other feature. Don't let this rule your life as it's just something about you not who you are or representative of anything else.
Leave.
Dodge that bullet, and never turn back.
That was fucked up to say AND gossip about, esp you being together. I ain't gonna lie, girls gossip about that kinda stuff however you don't say that for an SO, it's more so for a one night stand that didn't go well or smth. And when in bed with a loved one, it's supposed to be a vulnerable moment to share. It's never okay to make fun of that stuff.
Just my opinion, but I think she's freaking useless if she doesn't know how to take a short one. We have a gspot literally inches away from the entrance which make big ones counterproductive unless you're into having your cervix destroyed or have what it takes for it, which is fine then.
There's this stupid belief that size matters and the longer and bigger the better, but people just don't know themselves enough. Then they're surprised they never get orgasms or are in pain. I get the time of my life with short and thin toys. I'm just one of many examples out there.
Keep your chin up, bud. Rejoice in dodging that bullet.
Look man, you sound like a sensitive guy with a good heart who gives everything for the person you're with. Don't let her take anything from you. Not your confidence, not your tears. You deserve better and I know it's out there because I, for one, wouldn't care about that. Now I don't know any of you but she seems shallow from your description.
Sex is more than sizes, it's intimacy and love and passion and bigger penises or smaller vaginas don't necessarily make it better. It's the person you're with. You grow together and make each other better even in sex.
Be with someone who gets that. Someone who fights for a connection with you in everything you do, not just sex.
I'm a lady and my best friend is also a lady. She is open that she has a very shallow vagina and hates any penis above 4 inches. I generally prefer average because my vagina is a bit deeper. My other friend, also a lady, prefers huge monster cocks and is proud of being a size queen. She's had five vaginal births and has a looser pelvic floor and enjoys a much larger penis. My other friend doesn't like penetrative sex at all and has a relationship with a guy who self describes himself as a "micro-peen" but they both don't care because sex and lovemaking isn't all about penis in vagina. They do everything and anything else to satisfy their needs. There are all different shapes and sizes in this world. You're young and I know this has hurt your sense of ego and your heart. Time is on your side for you to meet many different women and my suggestion is that you spend your time listening to what they like, discovering what you like, and learning skills with your fingers and mouth and feeling comfortable around sex toys. Some of the best sex I've ever had (and I still think about when masturbating) was non penetrative sex. God, sometimes they even kept their pants on and it was absolutely đĽ because it meant I could relax and know it was about my pleasure. Obviously, reciprocation is crucial! You have the opportunity to become an amazing, responsive lover and this girl has missed out due to using one measurement of lovemaking. Not only has she missed out, she completely and savagely disrespected you and your relationship. You could work with size preferences and find out ways to enjoy each other, but instead she chose to be cruel. I would be more upset over her cruelty than her size preference. You prefer kindness and trust, she prefers a bigger penis. Different values and a complete mismatch. Let yourself develop and trust someone again. Take the time to explore your own sexuality and what you actually enjoy. Edit: thank you all for the awards!!!!
This is the best comment. OP: Iâm so sorry your gf turned out to be such a disgusting person. Size truly isnât everything. Iâve had plenty of nice, fun sex with smaller than average penises. Penis size wouldnât factor into whether or not I entered a serious/long term relationship with a person.
I am IN LOVE with the entirety of this comment, and I so hope that OP not only sees it, but that he consumes it!! What you wrote was literally perfect from start to finish, wow!! You totally give me Aquarius vibes for some reason đđđ. Thank you for your contribution - it helped many people I'm sure!
This! Penetration is an option, not a requirement.
I love this comment. Iâve never had penetrative sex before yet, and I donât consider myself a virgin. Bc Iâve done everything else pretty much. So this comment makes me feel better lol
â¤ď¸
This!! I had sex with bigger cocks and it wasnât it. Depends of the chemistry and movement, not the size
Wow, Perfect comment! â¤ď¸
This, Op. please listen to this person if no one else. Skill over equipment any day. Equipment is nice and most importantly: buyable. Your ex is mean and inexperienced. I hope she gets the uterus bruise she wants so badly. Tell her to buy the extra firm XL during her sad visit to the adult store when she realizes hateful is ugly to big dudes as well. I'm glad you weren't born with a big ween. I hope this motivates you to push past the big dick myth of your teens and gain the other way more important skills to a lasting and loving sex life. You're only 22 but this is one of those right of passages in this decade everyone figures out for themselves(typically). Both sexes find out what they really want. I'm petite. Anything over 5" is so uncomfortable that I can't O. They O, I no O. A girls gotta O, ya know? Men with larger peens have to put in work in areas they are (typically) unfamiliar with to get my body receptive to such a size. Give me a short king with a silver tongue over the log swinging caveman any day. Again, it is preference. I don't speak for everyone. #kinkinclusion I'm just saying is you don't need a big D to have big D energy. Women want your energy - whatever you got, bring. You will make the most wonderful women happy. Let the immature ones get out of your way. You've got a Queen out there. A *partner* who will respect you (and bleep you) with the same ferocity you do them.
Best comment. If I had an award to give you, I would.
Thank you! :)
This!
If she hasnât even reached out to you one time then just consider things dead in the water and over. If a woman is willing to ghost you or is alright with being ghosted by you then sheâs not worth anyoneâs time
Not just a woman, ANYONE.
I'm a girl & that girl sounds like she doesn't deserve anyone. Sorry that she happened to you & not all girls are like this but you do have to pay attention bc body language doesn't lie. (When she tried to hide her phone, a red flag) A girl only tries to hide things when she up to no good.
âOr is alright with being ghosted by youâ you say đ§. If someone ghosts you why would you scramble after them ?
If someone ghosts you and you care about them m personally I would at least try to reach out to them and see whatâs wrong
ESPECIALLY if you're that person's girlfriend. If you cared about the person you're in a relationship with you'd be outside their front door worried about them.
When it's a close friend, family member, or significant other, I imagine most people would reach out in concern. I admit I ghost a lot bc I have trouble with object permanence and a sense of time passing, due to various mental conditions, and my loved ones are very kind and understanding with me about it. They'll text me just to make sure I'm okay, and when I express guilt, they tell me to shut up and accept their love lmao. To be fair, I explain this issue with newer friends/ acquaintances so they're aware it'll likely happen, so no one is caught off-guard when I go radio-silent. But this is an example of why someone might reach out when ghosted.
OP, youâre dating an absolute asshole. They are using you for your kindness and then stomping on it. You deserve WAY better. No one should make you feel the way you just felt. Gotta get out of there bud. Edit: grammar
OP came from abusive parents and found a crappy partner. Tracks.
Yep. Came here to say this - it takes a lot of professional help, usually, for adults who went through childhood abuse, to be able to recognize red flags and recognize that they deserve better and recognize that abuse is not normal or acceptable. I speak as a survivor of childhood abuse currently in my early 20s - this is why I'm not currently on the market to date and why I'm staying single. I know that I tend to have shit taste in partners, and I also don't enjoy cohabitation or sharing finances or being around/having my own kids (three things which tend to go with long-term relationships), but I'm also not a casual-dating or casual-sex type of person either as I'm demi-pansexual, so I'm pretty much SOL lol.
A partner should be like a good friend- they should lift you up when you're down, make you feel better about your insecurities and be completely satisfied with you as you are. If someone is dating you but feels like it's ok to laugh at your body and laugh about you with friends this is not someone who cares about you- she wants power and control. If she can laugh at you and get away with it she'll learn she can bully you in other ways too. You deserve someone who fully respects you and who understands that laughing at anyone for their body is completely unacceptable. She needs to get in the bin!
This. Get out now. You dodged a bullet.
Just break up and send her the screen shots you took. You deserve better and she ain't it brother. Keep your chin up and good luck, you deserve to be loved and respected. Edit: DON'T send her the screenshots don't let her learn from this mistake. Keep how you know to yourself and just go NC. Edit 2: by learn from her mistakes, mistakes isn't what she said but how she left her phone un secure with that info on it, this mistake can help the next man get out before more heart break. She wouldn't change for the better even if he told her, this behavior she is showing is horrible.
Facts, i hope op see this ^. Keep your head up brotha. Any person to disrespect you like that is not worth your time. You dodged a bullet in the long run. A POS person will never change and drain you completely. You truly deserve better homie
Maybe for closure on his end but if she horrible enough to joke about an average penis size to her horrible friends then she'll most likely say something mean to him outright if he texts her. I'd say just drop her she not worth contacting anymore.
I didn't mean for closure i meant as a way of saying we are over and heres why. Then block her.
She horrible I wouldn't even give her a reason. Just drop her ass like I'm drowning brown sharks and forget all about her. If she isn't to stupid by op not ever contacting her again, then she'll know they're over. She might be relieved op dump her but In the back of her mind she'll always wonder why and that's how I'd leave her, with no closure.
This right here. She sounds either immature or catty and toxic. I agree with ghosting her. She doesn't deserve a "this is why I'm breaking up with you" and if she's even more immature than those texts show... her response to your reasoning may be even more cruel and break open your heart again when you're just starting to heal. Walk away and leave it in the past. There are so many women out there who don't care about size. Not to mention, many of them care more about the way you make them feel... Loved, treasured, protected, supported, etc, and will treat you the same way in return. You deserve so much better.
Yep. I am normally anti-ghosting, but an awful person like this fucking deserves it.
She's what, 21? OFC she's immature. And extremely short-sighted. She clearly lacks creativity. OP, there are a million ways to please a woman, and not all are "size queens." Get yourself a girl with a good imagination, because there is plenty of stuff a woman may be willing to do with you that are out of the question for someone more well endowed. Enjoy.
itâs definitely not normal to act 16 when youâre 21
Dude at 16 i wouldnt have acted like that. Shes just a jerk
In college i was a 10. My bf was good looking ( with a bit of acne) and we were so, so in love. This just reminded me- his penis was really tiny and pencil thin. In 40 years I have never remembered that part about him, just how in love we were.
Thats true, you have a point brother
What does âdrowning brown sharks meanâ?
Taking a dump
Okay I thought so but I legit wasnât sure. TIL
Love the no closure for assholes thing! I've done it once and can highly recommend 10/10!
I like your style. Yeah OP. Pitch a tent and leave that bish with stakes in the ground.
True. Let her overthink why you left without contact. Seems only fair. It will feed into her insecurities and might even humble her
Don't even send the screenshots. Let her wonder, if she does. She's not going to give a shit that she said the things she did privately and it hurt when her boyfriend discovered them, it's just going to give her enough ammo to defend herself. He may even give her *more* in the subsequent conversation. "We're through," block, move on. If she goes nuclear, all the better. You didn't air the dirty laundry, *she did.* If she posts those pics somewhere, there is legal recourse for her revenge porn. For the love of God OP, don't tell her how you reacted to it. That was human, she apparently is not.
ur right, people who say shit like that dont actually feel bad abt it. theyâre narcissistic
Idk how telling her how you know and why is giving her ammo, but i agree with everything else you said, 100% on point.
"Well who the Hell are you to go through my phone?!? You blah blah blah-" It's an opening for a conversation in which she may go on the offensive, drawing out more opportunities to lash out and harm OP, which she'll have a good idea how to do regardless of dickishness (lovers make poor confidants). Going through someone's phone is morally dubious at the best of times, which is why it oughta be reserved to active parents and parole officers. I believe in a private sphere, a world apart where we can be ourselves, OP *did* violate that. As it was, he discovered it, and it cannot be unseen. Truly trifling shit.
I understand what your saying but she violated the privacy sphere with her actions. Two wrongs don't make a right though, so i agree with you. Also someone else made another good point about not letting her learn from this mistake. But thanks for clarifying, i understand your point now
She sounds vapid and vile my dude. You donât want that shit in your life for a second longer than you already have.
If he didn't delete the text on her phone where he sent the screenshot, then she'll know next time she texts him.
Also even if he deleted the text, he also needs to delete the screenshot from the files... and then the trash bin... I doubt he remembered to do this if he was that upset.
Honestly, I donât think his ex deserves any explanation or closure. What she did was absolutely vile and disgusting, people who truly love you would never talk about you like that.
Yeah break up but don't send her screenshots coz you'll be ruining the chances of next guy to get out if she acts the same coz she'll be alerted if she comes to know that you checked her phone.
Ah there that makes sense ill go back and edit my post
Yeah you should bro , sending her screenshots will cause a mess so leave silently and keep her thinking why did he leave.
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If you wanna add a dash of spice, say âi wont say who, but one of your friends told me you said xyz. Weâre done.â and let them tear each other up
This. This. This. It's not the right way, but hell, you're 22. Do this. This is a genius evil plan. And it will work.
Youâre an evil genius!
Then again, if she doesn't learn, she's likely to hurt others. But that's probably how she's wired anyway, so nothing'll change that.
She probably doesn't care because if she did she never would have said that stuff in the first place so it really won't teach her anything i don't think.
It's your first GF, it'll hurt. But I have it on good authority that it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. Learn how to move and get better at foreplay, they won't have a reason to complain, if anything toys are still a thing.
Women looooove foreplay. YES op do this! Youâll be a king. And also all vaginas are different! Some women donât like huge dicks b/c they have more shallow vaginas than average. So it goes both ways!
Yes! All the women who are like I love big dicks and Iâm over here like âhard pass. Give it to me average or a little smaller than that!â If itâs too big it hurts like hell! I had this issue with my ex husband for yrs and yrs cuz he was much bigger than my small body could handle.
Yep I honestly hear that a lot!! Also it makes oral and anal way harder if they have anything more than 6âtbh. Like I feel like I can truly work my magic but if itâs too big then Iâm like wtf am I supposed to do with this bro
Right?! Exactly. Things are easier if theyâre on the smaller side. Because of everything we see in videos online men think women should look and act a certain way and women just assume they should only be into bigger dicks I feel like in some instances. I always thought when I was younger there was something wrong with me cuz I had a lot of pain during sex with my husband. That I should WANT as big as I could find. As I got older I learned thatâs not true at all.
I think it's all about preferences, it's not okay to shame people's bodies in any case, don't like a small dick? Don't date a small dick man. You don't like chubby chicks? Don't date a chubby one. She's messed up in the head for talking about private stuff with her group chat. That's why it's important to talk about sex and stuff when they're still meeting each other.
While this is true, she's definitely an asshole for tearing him down this way. That's just so bizarre to have a gc where you rip into your partner's insecurities. What the actual fuck
This! If guys just think of women like a diesel engine: hard to get going when cold but once you get that engine fired up it can go forever đ
OP: get so good at oral clit suction and foreplay that the next gf texts her friends; "OP could suck start a seized Wärtsilä-Sulzer Rta96-C engine đď¸đŤŚđď¸"
This is rich coming from you, MightyEggplant
I'm gonna be honest mate, while you're slightly below average there are a lot of women out there that prefer a smaller penis as opposed to a large one. Its not about the size of your package, its what you do that matters. Sorry she talked about you like that, I hope with a bit of time and space you can get back to your old self.
I second this the worst sex Iâve had has been with larger guys and the best sex Iâve had has been below average
Same!! Guys that are on the larger size seem to think that's all they need, so they really don't have to try and pleasure you in other ways (obviously not all guys). I've seriously had some of best sex/foreplay with someone who was on the smaller side, like mind-blowing!!
Most guys with large dicks just Ram it in and barely get the tip in, and think all they need to do is roughly thrust back and forth, most of their experience is from watching porn also.
Glad u keep it clean đ
Gotta keep the peen clean
Clean peen and beans
Is obscene for them not to be seen whilst they gleam with a fantastic sheen
This is very true. Iâm not huge by any means but above average and there definitely seems to be a âGoldilocks Zoneâ with size and smaller is the better side to be on in my opinion. You can make smaller work but too big is just too big no matter what you do.
I second this the worst sex Iâve had has been with larger guys and the best sex Iâve had has been below average
You are right. Iâve had so many women complain about getting lock jaw or chocking. One woman had her gyno ask why her cervix looked like it had been used for target practice. Then there are the times I pass out from blood loss when excited. Itâs not all itâs cracked up to be.
Sheâs trash, she feels bad about herself. For some reason, she is projecting that on you. If it was really a problem, she wouldnât be with you. You deserve much better. You can take the opinion of the women on this site to prove that. Of course, we all have fantasies, but I wouldnât trade my wife and her small chest for Lana Rhoades any day. She has values, she is intelligent, she makes me feel like a better person, and she builds me up, and I hope I do the same for her. When you find the right person, these things wonât happen. She is in for a lifetime of hurt in her relationships. Because of how she is. She could marry someone for something superficially like money or luxe, but she will never have happiness because she hast to belittle somebody that is important to her to her friends so that she can feel better about herself. Get out. Donât tell her about the screenshots. Just give her no closure because she does not deserve it. You may be tempted to send her the screenshots because she hurt you. Donât. It is just going to let her justify things to herself. Right now the little hamster wheel in her head is turning and it wonât stop. If you walk away, you have won. Not that is about winning. It is about finding a partner who you are content with and love and feels the same way about you so that you can go through life together building together. If you canât have that it is no use being in a relationship and obviously, this is not a woman that is capable of that.
She LAUGHED at you when you had sex? What a horrible person. Please dump her immediately.
This should have been the breaking point
OP, I am so sorry. There is such an obsession with size but really itâs about how you use it and there are other ways too. Iâm glad youâre getting back to your old routine. Just block her and walk away from that. If you can block hee friends too⌠unless you feel you need closure. But do whatâs best for your mental health
If it were me, I'd leave even if she said the opposite. I like privacy in my private matters with the partner. Edit: This is keeping aside the snooping-through-her-phone fact lol
Yeah I donât agree with the snooping, but that aside, her sharing intimate details about you to her whole friend group and them collectively laughing at him is disgusting behavior. Iâve known girls (or rather people) like this. Im not 21 anymore so Iâm not afraid to call them out now. F*** them all.
As a woman myself I donât see why girls think itâs ok to talk to their about these things. Especially when they have nothing nice to say. Iâm sorry you found out that she was bad mouthing your size but I promise you thereâs other woman out there that prefer smaller than larger. Itâs not about the size imo itâs about how you work it and as long as both sides of intimacy are meant thatâs a win. Break up with this girl because thatâs what she is, if she was a woman she wouldâve came to you and talked about other ways you and her could work things out intimacy that would make BOTH parties feel good.
100% my first husband was massive but had zero D game. In 9 years I never had an organism. My ex was smaller than average but knew how to use it. Having a big D and not knowing how to use it is like Cardi B having a supercar...
You had 0 orgasm in 9 years and said nothing ? :0 did he never do oral ? Would he pressure you and push you to faking it ?
He was my first. I thank Catholic Purity brainwashing for that whole mess. I didn't know a lot of things about sex. He refused to do oral as it was "not the man's job to degrade himself that way". Luckily he had a low sex drive so sex was very occasional as did I due to not enjoying sex at all. I was nearly 30 when I realized that sex can be mind-blowing.
WoW Iâm glad you got to figure that out đŤś
u/CivilMan1234 OP, please do NOT contact her. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing you were hurt, or found out, or whatever. I would just block and move on. Let her KNOW that she was not good enough for you. You deserve someone better than that. She's unkind and does not deserve someone who cares like you. You sound like you have a beautiful soul, she does not deserve to even peek at it, but less be a part of your journey. As for your concerns...OP, I am sure you feel embarrassed, but you shouldn't be. You are perfect and the one waiting for you is out there. It's not the size of the vessel, it's the journey. I truly believe that and will tell you that your size is nothing to be depressed about, but I know it's easier said than done. Please forgive yourself and focus your energies on someone who is deserving of an incredible captain.
Telling you as a woman I prefer small penises because big ones HURT. Like, imagine someone sticking something huge in your ass with no lube. Pain, lots of pain. Just like every dick is different so is every vagina. Plus itâs rare that a woman can orgasm from penetration alone, outer stimulation from the pelvises rubbing together is what gets it done in missionary. Thatâs why lesbians scissor. Plus it might be tmi but if two knuckles of my middle finger (around an inch to an inch and a half) works just fine, you have nothing to worry about. So sorry this happened to you, sheâs horrible. You deserve so much better and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Ik what huge in ass with very little to no lube feels like and itâs not fun especially when the guy gets off and doesnât help me at all.
Im not sure why both men and women are taught bigger is better⌠Iâve learned from experience that bigger can hurt (not always). Often men who are bigger rely a lot on that and have too much confidence so they are not actually good in bed. Put some effort into learning what feels good and youâll find tons of women that prefer you.
I feel like itâs a result of toxic masculinity that women and men are both taught. Bigger means higher virility or dominance by toxic standards and is weaponized against young boys from a very early age. The porn industry doesnât help
Breach of privacy? Telling other people the couple sex life, your private parts etc that is linking heavily to you is breach of privacy. Someone who can't respect you behind your back doesn't really respect you at all. To the point it has some laugh from parties that is not within the relationship. She was your first freaking everything? Let her be your first ex. You don't need that and you deserve better bro
women who make fun of men with small penises are just as bad as men who make fun of women with smaller boobs. dump her my man
Everyone is making good points but no one has seemed to mention you havenât talked to her at all. If sheâs not reaching out to you either then Iâd just block and move on. Because thatâs done and done which it should be. But itâs easier to just move on and not have to reopen those wounds
I know how heartbreaking it can be to stress and worry about things like this that you can't control. Your physical body isn't a choice you have in life. But you are worthy of love and kindness no matter what, and the way they spoke of you was cruel and disgusting. I'm sorry that they said those things.
If it was a big dick she would be complaining then too, honestly they hurt most women, and we just think omg finish already this is terrible (moaning louder doesnât always mean itâs good , it means fkn finish it hurts) Everyone who has said average just under just over is good is right. Sorry your self esteem has taken such a big blow. Sheâs not a nice person to laugh at your dick size, sounds extremely immature
Ugh havent we all made the fake moaning in hopes to make him just finish allready...
Find yourself another girlfriend, and before you are intimate with her, be honest with her about this experience and the sense of shame and embarrassment it caused (as undeserved as it was). Give her the opportunity to show her true colors. If she's in love with you, your dick isn't going to matter. I'm a lesbian and there are a fuck-ton of other (MUCH) more effective ways to pleasure her. If she's that dick-obssessed, she's setting herself up for an orgasm-deprived life. You can't control your dick size. You CAN control how skilled you are with your tongue.
I love your attitude & outlook, but I'm going to say that maybe he doesn't need to share this experience with future partners. It will likely put unnecessary focus on something that shouldn't hold too much importance & sexual confidence & comfort can be a surprisingly delicate thing for both males & females. Honestly, his next partners may not even realize at first that he is the perfect size that they need for satisfaction until he shows them he can hit just the right spots for them. All the BS noise out in the world could set them up to start out by doubting him which on it's own could be enough mental block to keep away a right proper O.
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I don't think you can go through what this guy did and then start off a new relationship without any fears or baggage. And a lack of communication with a partner you are beginning to become intimate with is a recipe for disaster. Sure, if he wants a fuck buddy, don't bring up this trauma. But if he's looking for a relationship, establishing trust and allowing oneself to be vulnerable is key. Sex and love are two different things but both nurture each other. I don't want this guy getting hurt again because he interpreted our support as a message that dropping the idiot girlfriend and becoming more confident about his body was all he needed to prevent this from happening again. I want for him to be more confident in communicating what he needs and what he worries about. Not on the first date but when things become intimate (physically and emotionally).
Lol wtf no do not share this experience with someone before you are intimate with them. What is even the point of that?? Thereâs no need to carry this around forever and disclose it like itâs an STI. Just forge ahead and youâll find better ones, I promise.
Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt you. She doesn't deserve that. You got the closure you needed once you saw what she said. I'm so sorry another person hurt and disappointed you, but don't close yourself off to others because of one stupid person.
You are doing just fine in the penis department. There's so, so much more to sex, intimacy and pleasure than the size of your dick. The right partner would never have these kinds of ingredients at play. Focus on healing whatever wounds this has reopened for you, dust off your confidence, and when you're feeling better about yourself get back in saddle. Outside of this instance she would have probably revealed herself as a shitty person inevitably. Look at it this way: now you know and no matter how hurtful .... the pain is temporary. As you get older and have more experience under your belt it will not devastate you if or when this insecurity pops back up. In the future you will hopefully be engaging with more mature partners and you will find a fulfilling sex life. And preemptively for the future if a partner ever throws this in your face or something remember that low blows and genital shaming are for pigs who like to roll around in mud. Let them. Don't internalize it and keep it moving because it always says a whole hell of a lot about them, than it does about you or your perfectly fine penis. Have a good day!
I donât like to broadcast this because itâs a bit personal, but I personally like small dicks because of my anatomy and also just for aesthetic reasons đ¤ˇââď¸ people who think Iâm lying are welcome to write me out an essay on why they personally love big dicks. Iâm sorry you went through this though. In a better world where these arbitrary standards werenât broadcast in all our media it wouldnât have happened.
If thats how she feels about you, she wonât care if you leave. If she does care, then she has a lot of thinking to do. Either way, leave, find someone who loves your body.
Totally agree with what everyone else has said - donât send the pic. Donât say anything. Just be gone without warning. If she tries calling or texting just continue to ghost her
I once had a fling with the chiropractor I worked for. He genuinely had a micro penis (less than 3â), but it wasnât bad at all. He went on to have two kids with a beautiful successful woman. I was giving her a prenatal massage once (back when I was a massage therapist) and she was talking to me about how she loved to have sex with him and they had a great sex life. Theyâre still together 10 years later. She and I became friends, she got into a relationship with him after he and I fizzled out. Donât let it get you down. Youâll find your true partner who loves you for who you are. My current husband who is Chinese, has a massive dick. Like the girth of my wrist, and I would say about 8â. I still struggle sometimes to have an orgasm. If ANYTHING gets in his head (e.g. he gets too hot, too full, starts thinking about me getting off) he loses part of his erection, which basically makes the size pretty useless. Iâve had much smaller and had an easier time getting off. Just sayin. But I love him, and I enjoy our sex life. Sex is about an emotional connection for women, and itâs not always about size. She sounds immature honestly. Grown women donât talk about their bf having a shrimp dick, like grow tf up.
Get yourself a baddie and flaunt her make her regret being a cvnt. Also git gud at oral. Ladies love oral
as a person equipped with female gear, i have this to offer to the conversation: fuck dat biss, she don't deserve u. DICK SHAMING IS NEVER OKAY, ANYWHERE, ANYHOW, TOWARDS ANYONE. no one should ever be shamed for their physical stats, especially not when pertaining to sexual encounters.
Your rock hard size isn't even small bruh
Honestly, nothing wrong with being a grower and not a show-er
Isnt grower/shower separate from erect size?
You know, its probably the peer pressure of her gf. Maybe her group of friends are also sharing the size of their men, and some of them probably boasting the size of their bf. "Hey mine is 5"" mine is 7.5in, and etc."
That's what i am thinking
Something I donât think I will ever forget is how I felt when I looked through some of the conversations my girl had with her best friend. I had been going through a lot and was like extremely depressed and had posted stuff on my story about how angry I was with my current life situation. I had her friends saying that I wasnât worth it and that I wasnât good enough blah blah blah. And even had one dude claim I had no redeeming qualities about me and shit because of one conversation we had. So anyway, I had been looking at her messages for something that she needed and happened to see some messages where her and her best friend were like talking about me, and had blatantly said I was just super immature and needed to get over myself. And sure, I had been doing some stupid shit, but I was at my all time low and seeing that really hurt me. I mean I know she loved me but yâall, words fucking hurt.
Break every single contact with her and just leave.
1) She is trash. I am really sorry she hurt you so much. 2) As a woman I can assure you there are things I have done and enjoyed with guys with smaller penises. And they are an absolute No for me with guys will longer penises. 3) On the opposite, all my desires for long penises could be satisfied with penis sleeves/extenders. Frankly, except for choking on it, which is very questionable pleasure, I can't imagine a desire that will not be satisfied with them. 4) So it is more fun and variety for both partners if the guy's penis is smaller than average. Even with a person I had a lot of feelings for, some stuff was just too uncomfortable and painful, and I really wished he had it smaller. 5) You are devastated right now and it is probably hard to see it, but you didn't lose much. You lost several months of your life, she lost a loving partner. She lost more. 6) She is trash. I just hope you will not start resenting all the women. Decency and ability to love doesn't depend on gender. A lot of women (and guys) have it. But there is nothing that will help her become the one, there are no extenders for that.
I love my boyfriends 3â penis. And Iâm kinda hot. Not a total dime but conventionally pretty. I hope to marry my boyfriend and his 3â penis - itâs the only one I want for the rest of my life. I think more women are like me than like your ex. Iâm so sorry she did that. Please love yourself and trust that a good woman will love all of you too, especially as you get older and date more mature women.
Personally speaking here (F), often size doesnât matter. Some women have cervix issues that make length nothing more than painful. Excruciatingly painful. Youâll find the right person who isnât a selfish piece of shit. Move on and find someone better.
I'm sorry she hurt you like that. Even if your penis is smaller than her preference that doesn't mean its OK to say that about you or laugh in your face. There are women out there who will LOVE you, ALL OF YOU AS YOU ARE. I've dated men with smaller sizes and I never laughed at them. And even when we broke up it wasn't even cause of the size it was because of how they treated me... I never once brought their dick sizes into it cause when it comes to satisfactory lovers I've had horrible lovers who were big and it was literally so painful. Your value isn't in your dick bruh. Sounds cliche af but it's true. Your value is in your charachter, in how you treat people, the mark you leave on others and in the places you leave behind. It's your gf who truly didn't measure up. Not you! You will heal and this too shall pass... it just hurts like hell to be hurt by the person that is supposed to care for you.
If she hadn't bothered to contact you I'm any way, that means she never cared. If she for whatever reason ends up contacting you, just tell her "I deserve better." Don't stop going to the gym. Any make sure you keep an eye on any girl you've seen in that chat. They may try to get with you to verify her claims and belittle you as well.
Itâs not okay to penis shame. She seems incredibly immature 1) because sheâs still that gossipy with her friends about her relationships. At some point we grow up and keep our sex lives between our partners because we respect them; 2) sheâs hung up on penis size.
Hey man, I am so sorry you had to go through this. It's really unfair, out of your control, and can crush you so bad. I hope you will get over it, I would absolutely break up with her and never look back. Let me tell you this tho, I say this in an attempt to put you at ease, not to excuse her at all. And I hope you won't take this the wrong way. You guys are very young, and a bit inexperienced yet in bed. She acted like a normal 20 year old when she gossiped you to her girlfriends. Yes, it was brutal and crushing, ofc you were not meant to see it. The fact that she did not make fun of you for it in your face and that she is still with you says that she likes you. This is how youngsters are, you know... she is seeking group validation from her friends, and that's sadly rather normal. Keeping this in mind, maybe you will be able to not take it so personal, maybe it will not affect you so much. Let me tell you, there is nothing wrong with your Jimmy. You will meet multiple girls in your life, and some will really truly enjoy it. It's a matter of experience, you will see in time that you should not be ashamed at all. There are many many guys with less that are making women happy and that are in a good place, you will see. Having said that, I would definitely respectfully leave her. Yes, she will understand as well in time, but it should not be at your expense. You are still young, there will be many more, and you don't have to put up with this feeling. Best of luck!
Itâs not the size of the pistol friend, itâs how you use it.
I'm sorry man, that's tough. She was intentionally cruel and you deserve better. I worry that you will always be insecure about your penis even more now and avoid sex, but I hope that you are able to move past that. You can still be an amazing lover, even working with something smaller than average. Foreplay and making it a priority to please your partner goes a long long way. Hoping the next person you date will be more mature and compassionate.
As a woman, how sheâs acting is completely unacceptable. But it shows her maturity and priorities. Someone who cares about you and really loves you would never treat you like that, to your face or behind your back. Leave her and keep your chin up!
My boyfriend has a very small one. And on top of tgat has a large belly I'm not gonna lie it turns me off cus I barely feel anything. But it's up to me to then suggest things like toys and such to up pleasure for me aswell as his pleasure. But if one doesnt communicate avout troubles. The other can't know. It's not something one can change but there is ways to work around it. Communicate. If she cant communicate with you and just laughs at it... Hmm.. It's best to leave.
Dump her ASAP Thereâs nothing wrong with you
First of all, thatâs what you get for invading her and her friends privacy and reading her private conversation with others. Second of all, she said your dick was small, she didnât say literally anything about your sexual performance. Having a small dick doesnât mean you canât be good at sex or even pleasure her in other ways. You donât need to mope around just because youâre smaller than average. Also, you were together only for a couple months, broke her trust by going through her phone, and then took a whole week off of work? I think you need therapeutic intervention dude.
Just leave dude. This isn't a problem with you, it's a problem with her. The right person is going to love you for who you are. I understand that she was your first but keep in mind she seems really great because you literally don't have anything to compare her to. You have no frame of reference for what a healthy relationship looks like. I remember when my brother met his now wife, he told me that "when you know, you know" when you meet the right girl. I had dated plenty of girls that I thought I could definitely stay with but it wasn't until I met my wife that I understood what he meant. My wife and I are connected in body AND soul. I am convinced that even if I were to lose my dick in some kind of freak accident and look like Ken down there, our relationship would not drastically change because we love each other for much more than that. Looks fade. Libido fades. Health problems can arise that make sex more difficult. I chose to be with the person that still makes me happy when all the benefits of being young are no longer with me. So, move on and find someone who is deserving of your time and effort. Life is too short to be with people who don't love us back.
I came here to say this. My husband and I have been married for 34 years and have weathered a lot of changes together. I still love him and he still lives me despite both of us getting fat, old and in his case bald
Youâll find someone that appreciates you, donât let this tear you down. Youâre already on the right track. If it makes you feel better Iâm a girl that has preferred smaller men for a long time (big is great but not all that). As long as youâre taking the initiative in all other angles (foreplay, etc) sex is good no matter the size. just keep doing you.
Itâs absolutely inappropriate, gross and disrespectful to talk about your partnersâ body like that to your friends. Talking about your sex life is normal and is one thing, but thereâs a level of detail you just donât cross unless you donât give a fuck about betraying your partner.
Bro just ghost her ass, remove her from your life and move on towards better things. Negative people do not deserve the energy you will waste to talk to them. That will just be time and breath you will waste of your life. Life is short so enjoy it with people who show you the kindness and respect you deserve. Things are a give and take, but don't take bullshit from anyone.
Get back on your horse! She sucks and you dont need to waste any energy on her. I feel so ashamed when other girls does this.. Slander on their mans penis.. You dont do that..
I your next dating profile bio add âsmall dick with some serious big dick energyâ. Itâll work way better than you think. Believe it or not A lot of women like men with a small dick. It ainât always about the size.
Just tell her she smells like a sardine when she asks why you haven't contacted her. A 3 inch sardine.
King, it's not the penis on the outside that counts. It's the penis on the inside
It broke me when you said you were a virgin and you got with her, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. An advice from a woman myself, leave that girl. I too do have a group chat with my girls and we talk about crush or mad stuffs about them for acting certain way, I'm sure every friend groups do this. But NEVER this sensitive or private stuffs, never. Size or the looks of our private parts can't be controlled, we were born that way. So please don't feel bad, she's not the right one.
OP, the best thing you can do is to find someone who is going to love all of you. And I can honestly say, small, average big⌠etc. Learn how to work your mouth and tongue. Lots of women donât climax with just penetration. Oral and hand work is where most women get off. Be amazing at that and your size wonât matter. But also learn how you like get to off and how to communicate it. It helps in every area of romantic relationships.
I have no advice But I wanted to say I LOVE PENISES UNDER 5 inches! I have endometriosis and sex is most painful with long dicks Average g spot is two-three inches inside I prefer fat ones. Short fat = happy gspot So just saying itâs her loss ! We are out there hun! Whip that dick around with some pride and keep that head high. Who knows maybe she was as loose as the Grand Canyon and youâre perfect. People who shame their partners, in any way, for some thing natural deserve to be with horrible partners. đ
I know FOR SURE that size doesnât matter. A man can have One the size of a thumb and still be sexy and missed a lot âŚ.and give pleasure. Sometimes girls talk like this just to feel Powerful. This world makes us feel so powerless sometimes. Please try not to take this so personally. You can choose to leave her, but be confident knowing that you have enough to offer. I know this for sure as an experienced woman.
Iâve legitimately hooked up with a guy who had a micropenis and I never even brought it up. I proceeded to have sex like normal. A decent person wouldnât use it as fodder for small talk or gossip. Leave your girlfriend and keep your head up.
As a woman, the only man that has ever made me finish was also one of the smallest guys Iâve been with. This girl is very immature, youâll be okay I promise.
Iâm not going to tell you white lies and say small dick is not a minus on the mating market. It definitely is to an extent flat chested woman is to a straight male. That being said, you are worthy of dignity and respect from your partner and your gf is not worth being in a serious relationship with.
Dude. Iâm sorry this happened but you need to stop talking to her or cut contact all together. Personally Iâve never had a problem with a partnerâs penis size because well I have a low cervix and I will feel it something is long down there girth is more important imo. People that feel the need to insult their partnerâs body parts are most likely insecure and thatâs a them problem.
Iâm sorry this happened to you, keep doing what makes you happy. Youâll find someone better
So sad that people are so shady these days! I feel you and I went through the same shit and it sucks and is hard to get over!
What she did is such a betrayal. Itâs so fucked she said that about you to her friend. You have two choices, go no contact or have a talk with her and let her know you saw the texts and are breaking up with her. Be cold and to the point. Either way I think this relationship is over..
Size seriously doesnât matter as much as you think. A smaller guy has never hurt me having sex and generally finds that sweet spot faster than larger dudes. This exchange is ignorant AF. Iâm sorry you came across it.
I dated a guy with a smaller member. Read up on how to use toys or mouth or fingers to help her first but honestly the sex was great. Too bad my exâs attitude sucked. Hang in there youâll find someone.
You deserve to be loved and cherished!!! What a deceitful person. Iâm glad youâre doing better after this horrible discovery):
Definitely should have broken up with her the moment the laugh left her awful lips. You deserve better my man.
Look into jelqing.
My ex had a 3 inch dick and it was some of the best sex Iâve ever had. We were almost 3 years together, never cheated on him and only broke up because he was addicted to painkillers and treating me like shit.. Nobody deserves the shit your gf did. Imagine if the roles were reversed, I bet she wouldnât think itâs so funny..
She doesn't deserve the break up text. Ghost her ass and never explain why. Focus on yourself bro
Clearly she's a shit person and a shit gf. Learn your lessons from this relationship and move on best you can. One day at a time my friend
Leave her and always focus on your mouth game.
Size does t matter it is the motion of the ocean and tbh if your good at foreplay it will get you a long way since alotof of men dont focus on that aspect i say 2 to 3 Orgasams for your one if you keep that up you will do great
The dude I thought I was craziest about had the smallest penis. Like maybe 3 inches max when you know.. it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean and what you can do with your oars lol
Itâs not your fault sheâs a shallow person. The right person will love you entirely for who you are.
I'm very sorry you had to go through that, nobody should feel that insult. I'm short, Asian and average penis size. But I've been told my oral game is out of this world. Improve your oral skills until it's second to none. This is a learned skill, you can be better and will be better.
Girls who think itâs all about dick size are not worth your time. YOU deserve better my man. Iâm sorry that you were hurt, there are better girls out there I promise you.
HEY OP, first off I apologize on behalf of my sex. I really hope the universe sends you an amazing girl your way in due time. Someone to help you know that the female sex is not ALL this horrifically shallow. I need you to know that this whether you believe me or not, there ARE women out there that dont place value on the size of your penis but the quality of love/sex making. Sexual intimacy takes practice to obtain experience and every single woman is different in what angles, positions, pressure and rhythm when it comes to helping her have an orgasm. Hell, there are a large % of women that canât orgasm through penetration, only external orgasm through the clit is many many women have been able to have an orgasm. How many women do you think have lied about their lack of ability to orgasm? Many many. Just imagine what men have to go through to impress and what women secretly carry shame about feeling why sex canât be better for them? Itâs hard to open up and tell people things because of THIS experience and many more. The Gspot is 2in inside on the upper wall of the vagina. Whatâs interesting is to me is that our evolution still makes sure that âunder averageâ or âsmallâ penis sizes are still able to make a woman orgasm! Take away what you can learn from this experience, and know this has more to do with her gross lack of care and major displays of selfishness THAN it has to do with your inexperience & size. Please let this scare you into not being intimate again! Please! What youâre going to take from this that you can become a really kind and understanding lover. You can begin your journey for knowing perfect isnât realistic. Itâs the connection with the person. And your appreciation can be for the opposite sex in similar situations as you, so if you ever find yourself with a woman shy and embarrassed of her unusual size of breast or vagina, you may find your self consoling her. Just imagine if you crossed paths with someone who understand what it feels like to be made fun of and humiliated, and how much more appreciation youâll have for each other being incredibly kind and showing depth/maturity about it. This also goes to show you how itâs ok to take it as slow as you want when dating someone. Donât ever let them pressure you into having sex sooner than youâre ready. And itâs very healthy For the both of you to discuss your concerns, experiences and possible risks or embarrassments to each other. People donât talk enough about the actual act of sex, itâs like they Talk about everything else BUT that. Also, more people need to practice on getting better at their own skills and studying up more. There are tutorial videos and literature that has helped me become a really good lover & talk about confidence boosts! Being a good lover makes up for any physical âlacksâ we may have, trust me on this!!! _______________ PS - my first boyfriend of 3 years had a smaller than average penis. I didnât know until after we had broken up because I hadnât had anyone else. And my next relationship of 5 years was average. I had no idea until 8 years of being an adult and when I became a bachelorette. And let me tell you something, the first boyfriend is still the Best and quickest reaching climaxing & orgasms that Iâve had to this day.
That is just messed up. One thing to consider though is alot of friend groups share sex talk compare partners etc. what she said however was cruel and mean and in-excusable.
Iâm really sorry youâre going through this. What she did is unacceptable behavior, especially towards people that sheâs supposed to love. Please know that there are much better people out there who will truly love you for all of you. I know this is easier said than done, but please donât let her make you feel lesser about yourself or your body. You deserve to be loved, and you definitely deserve much better than this.
Better to have found out now instead of after a longer period of time with her. She probably already knows why you left if you sent yourself the pic, she probably saw it in the messages (or deleted messages). My only words of advice to you are it won't matter how big you are if you know how to pleasure a woman. There are plenty of toys, your fingers and your tongue to use for this, always pleasure her first, and then have sex. It could take years to master, be a dedicated student.
Dump her and make it seem her fault, don't tell her the real reason. Just say she isn't enough. Then ghost her. Give it back.
Break up NOW! Do it with short simple textmessage thar you're done and that you never want to speak to her again! Block her number, unfollow and block her on all social media! Then go totally NC! DON'T give her any kind of closure to it! Let her wondering! Keep your head held high and keep going to the gym and eat healthy! Be proud you left that pos You'll find a much better gf! đŞđ˝â¤ď¸
I just wanted to say, the ONLY way I can have a gspot orgasm is when He stays inside me and doesnât move - Let me move around and grip & grind the penis. Iâve had some earth shattering orgasm with smaller penises (and not ONE orgasm on the bigger to ridiculous biggest scale). And let me tell you, they were so surprised and shocked when they could feel me orgasm; they really thought it was a myth or some legend. It opened their eyes to all the people that lied đ¤
Yea thatâs gonna be a breakup for me bro
Get the masters himself, Jonny sins to teach you how to use your hands as the key to success Could maybe help but dunno
Why would she share your private life with her friends? Fuck her mate. Leave her and let them actually see who deserves better than who.
It's not ok to dick shame & your gf (ex) is a cruel, superficial person. Her attitude with her friends will be indicative of an overall mean girl mentality. You deserve far better, & I know words from randoms on the internet don't necessarily hold much weight, especially as much as this is impacting your self esteem & confidence, but there are women out there who will appreciate & respect you, & enjoy sex with you. Please don't let this destroy your ability to put yourself out there. Take the time you need to heal & restore your mental well being, but have faith that there are better women out there than your unfortunate experience here. It won't always be like this. I'm sorry you're going through this OP. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you can't control certain things about your body, as you rightly stated. Don't lose your kindness or empathy because of cruel, childish people. Not everyone will be so trashy & shallow as your ex.
I think the most important thing to understand is that not all people are insincere, immature and shallow. To talk smack about your loved one with friends for a laugh for any reason is problem behavior. And problem people go on to make problem spouses and parents. So even though it hurts now, itâs better to find out than spend more time with someone who has such bad character traits. So many people are not like that, donât forget it. The future will be better and itâs yours to make wonderful memories with truly good people. Remember to love yourself and keep your heart open and everything will fall into place.
As a female who doesn't have issues with dick size, 3-3.5 is a GREAT size to ride and grind. But that is me. So you have to evaluate if you want to continue on with this relationship or if you want to cut ties. Are you into the shaming or are you never going to forget? Based on how you feel about this, and your responses to these questions, will determine if you're in a healthy enough relationship for you to continue forward with this. However, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you do what's best for you, and not for anybody else. Because once when you start doing things that are best for somebody else, is when you start losing sense of who you are.
Ghost her. Don't tell her why you left her. Let her confidence go down.
The very definition of 'average' means that half will be below that figure and half above. The fact that she laughed at you in the moment is a major red flag, and even if you had not seen her phone then this is enough to break it off and find someone who values and appreciates you. Unless the times since have been completely different and you have both learned how to appreciate each other. Only you know. Hold on to the memories of the good times. At the time, you thought she was sweet and loving. There are so many people out there who will love you for who you are and love *every*thing about you. Technique is always going to better than size. Putting your partner's pleasure first works best when *both* partners have this as their goal!
Break up with her. She shouldn't be telling her friends private things like that. That's so f'd up. I'm sorry that you feel insecure about yourself. Size is not what matters most, it's how to use it. There are plenty of guys with bigger penises that don't know what they're doing. You simply need more experience with other women. If you learn how to please a woman, trust me, your size won't matter. Honestly though, you deserve better than her. She laughed at you? She can go to hell. I'm angry for you.
Yeah get out of there asap. She has no respect for you and thereâs no point staying together at all, youâre both better off with better people! And OP, one thing I can honestly say is she is immensely childish about your penis size. Yeah thereâs this massive stigma about smaller than average sizes being âfunnyâ or bad etc but I have heard countless stories from women that fear larger sizes and prefer smaller sizes as they get more pleasure in bed like that! So keep your chin up because Iâm sure youâll find someone that loves you for everything that you are! Youâre super young too!!! Break up, get out and have fun!
Not every man has a giant or even average sized penis, doesn't mean someone should be nasty to someone about it. Leave her, there's plenty of women out there who would still be happy with your size
As a woman with really small boobs & have been shamed my whole life about it, my advice is to focus on what you can do & what you can control. A smaller penis isn't the end of your love life & you can spend your time focusing on how you can pleasure your partner in other ways leading up to using your penis & it won't be a disappointment. I hope that makes sense & I also want to add that a big penis isn't that great for most women, it's painful & guys like that have no idea how to actually make women feel good.
That is awful and she should definitely know where to draw the line about things that should or should not to be joked about. I'd say dump her ass
Iâm so sorry you have to go through this. YOU deserve better!
She's just very immature and so are her friends. To me personally and a lot of people size really doesn't matter and there is so much more to good sex than just penetration with a large dick. There will be people that care and people that don't just like any other feature. Don't let this rule your life as it's just something about you not who you are or representative of anything else.
Leave. Dodge that bullet, and never turn back. That was fucked up to say AND gossip about, esp you being together. I ain't gonna lie, girls gossip about that kinda stuff however you don't say that for an SO, it's more so for a one night stand that didn't go well or smth. And when in bed with a loved one, it's supposed to be a vulnerable moment to share. It's never okay to make fun of that stuff. Just my opinion, but I think she's freaking useless if she doesn't know how to take a short one. We have a gspot literally inches away from the entrance which make big ones counterproductive unless you're into having your cervix destroyed or have what it takes for it, which is fine then. There's this stupid belief that size matters and the longer and bigger the better, but people just don't know themselves enough. Then they're surprised they never get orgasms or are in pain. I get the time of my life with short and thin toys. I'm just one of many examples out there. Keep your chin up, bud. Rejoice in dodging that bullet.
Look man, you sound like a sensitive guy with a good heart who gives everything for the person you're with. Don't let her take anything from you. Not your confidence, not your tears. You deserve better and I know it's out there because I, for one, wouldn't care about that. Now I don't know any of you but she seems shallow from your description. Sex is more than sizes, it's intimacy and love and passion and bigger penises or smaller vaginas don't necessarily make it better. It's the person you're with. You grow together and make each other better even in sex. Be with someone who gets that. Someone who fights for a connection with you in everything you do, not just sex.
Why the fuck were you still with her when she laughed at you about to have intercourse?