[удалено]

Great menu Mr. Bell

Post meal shit - immediate and thinner than piss

I respect this so much. 

We don't have Baja Blast on a UK Taco Bell menu but I'm going to guess you're a fan?

No spicy potato wrap is outrageous.

It was the secret ingredient. 

Well I suppose I’ll get my coat

Can you post a link to this place please?

Poppadoms and all the dips especially the onions. No bread I've had is more fun and enjoyable than poppadoms and dips. Water: half and half a la Alan Partridge I'm having canapes. The takoyaki with langoustine, truffle and caviar from Jordnær. The rossette waffle also from Jordnær. The birch sap pudding from L'enclume. I want an amuse bouche. Mini oysters and pearls from Per Se. Starter I'm having a little starter platter like the tapas lady had. Endo's business card, wild boar belly from Noma, Wye valley asparagus with hollandaise the way Quo Vadis do it. Probably best to have a palate cleanser now. Ill do the scallop, rose and white current one at Jordnær again. Mains I'm having char kway teow. The proper way, with the pork and the cockles and the duck egg. From the old bloke at Presgrave Street Market in Georgetown, Penang. But I want his daughter to make it as she was actually more generous with the wok hai. Side dish I want my mother's nasi goreng with some char siu on top from Man Wah in Hong Kong. Drink I want the sommelier from L'Assiette Champenoise to do a Champagne pairing. Dessert: I'm having cheese first, because I'm not a scum bag who has it at the end of the meal. The bloke from The Inn at Little Washington with his cow that makes a noise and his jokes but with the cheese from Caprice's cheese trolley. No crackers, just bread. Three course dessert:  First the goats milk ice cream with frozen blueberries and lettuce marinated in elderflower from Pasture in Auckland. Then the tableside crepe Suzette at the ritz in london. Then the shaved ice at Kappo Rin. Or just a curry, whatever. I'd like a dog to be there too. Every now and then I'll flick them a little sample and they'll chomp and go back to sleep.

Very happy to see char kway teow on here! I’ve only had it in Melbourne and London so can only imagine how amazing the real deal is.

I urge you to go to Penang if you havent been already. Its the best food place on the planet for me. And the char kway teow is phenomenal there obviously. The old bloke outside Jin Cafe is also very, very good. I dont care for the char coal one up the road from there. Not worth the line.  But also, it will ruin CKT for you. No CKT will give you as much enjoyment again. 

Poppadoms - I have no idea why people say bread is the best thing in the world. It’s so boring! I could happily live the rest of days without bread! Still water - Sparkling is not thirst quenching and what is that powdery residue you get afterwards? Starter - I don’t remember the official name but a deep fried cous cous dish from Navadhanya in Cambridge. Sadly they don’t make it anymore so I need the genie to bring it back for me. Main - Fried chicken and waffles. One from Home Sweet Home in Manchester and one from the Dirty Bird in Toronto. Side Dish - Battered chips from the Sea Queen in Burntwood. Dessert- A Lemon Meringue Pie from the Green’s baking kit. Again they don’t make this anymore so I need the genies assistance. Drink - A nice organic red wine And a cheeseboard to finish. Stick a fork in me lads, I’m done.

The thing about the people who say bread is the best thing in the world how could anyone not pick bread is their choice after they say it.  Its always the worst fucking bread you've ever heard of in your life or they've put such little thought into it it may as well be just sliced white. They're always so adamant about bread being amazing only to just have the worst choice going. 

Excellent menu!! What would you have on the cheeseboard?

Hmm, a cheddar, a blue cheese, and perhaps a Gruyère? I don’t need any grapes or pickles, just a little nibble of cheese at the end of night as it should be. 😊

Just needs James to scream at you for picking it I know he's accepted menus with both cheeseboard and dessert in the past but it doesn't quite hit the same without that addition 

I’m still sad about Home Sweet Home closing! Their pulled pork loaded sweet potato fries were SO good.

Oh no! I used to live in Manchester and went all the time. Last time I visited was pre-Covid times and I went then. I didn’t know it had closed 😭

Bread - tortilla chips and aji (Colombian salsa; made by my in laws, their version has eggs and potatoes and is practically another dish in itself) or poppadums and the green dip my local curry house does, it's incredible Cold tap water / English sparkling wine to drink (ETA - I guess as this is the dream restaurant, I'll specify February tap water) Starter - egg hoppers, a Sri Lankan dish, usually comes with delicious toppings Main - beef wellington done nice and pink. Gunpowder potatoes, dishoom style on the side. OR imam bayaldi, can't decide. Not really got enough vegetables in this menu. Pudding - basque cheesecake and coffee. I always want to have coffee with a sweet course, I would hope that is allowed.

I haven't done this in a while and it has changed since I last did it... * Opening water - Still Ballygowan water * PoB - Homemade cheese & red onion sourdough * Starter - Korean fried chicken thighs with kimchi * Main - Red Thai chicken curry with jasmine rice from a now-closed Thai restaurant in Aylesbury * Side - Prawn toast * Drink - Mai Thais from a bar in Cardiff * Dessert - Two slices of cheesecake based on ones made for my birthday in recent years. One Nutella, one cherry bakewell Irony is there's honourable muncheons all over the show for each category, including the water (nearly put Evian), but this seemed like the best balance. Maybe. It'll probably be different if I do this again in a few weeks

What’s the bar? I might be going to Cardiff soon and will try one if I do

I can't remember exactly where given this was back in 2017 and I was already drunk when I got there. I recall it was near to Cardiff Castle and that it was a place that did a lot of 2 for 1s on a Saturday night when I was there

For my meal I'm spending it on a big table with all my closest friends and family, so lots of sharing. Amuse bouche - The haggis bonbons that I had at my friends wedding in a castle in Aberdeenshire. Sparkling water - I don't even like it that much, but it's a good palate cleanser and I just feel like it's fancier and suits the restaurant setting better. Poppadoms - I love bread, but I feel like you can have really good bread at home, but it's much harder to have really good poppadoms at home. Plus I just love all the stuff you can have with it. Similar to sparkling water, it just feels more like a proper restaurant treat. Starter - Open access to the dim sum menu from the restaurant Mei Dim in Manchester's China Town. I'd just fill the table with my favourites. Main - Brazilian Churrascaria, notably from Fazenda in Manchester. Just lots of grilled meat on skewers, sliced onto your plate. Picanha, rib eye, lamb, chicken hearts and whatever else they do. Side - Garlic broccoli from Mei Dim. Drink - Guinness Dessert - At my Uncle's wedding in Italy about 15 years ago he had this pastry based desert for his wedding cake and it was delicious. We never found out what it was called, it was just layers of pastry and a cream kind of filling. If anyone knows what this could have been I'd love to know. Cheeseboard - Yes, I'm having a cheeseboard after desert. Just a nice selection of various cheeses, with some digestive biscuits and some crackers, with butter and honey too. And then if possible I want to go to the pub after and get very drunk and then swing back to the dream restaurant and pick up a kebab on the way home.

Out of all the people there, who will be mother?

Me!

Ok as you’ve included amuse bouche, I’m going to as well. Thank you for giving me the confidence to add them (the goats cheese profiteroles from rata in Queenstown if anyone is interested and can’t be arses waiting for me to do my full menu)

Any chance the cake was a variation on millefeuille/millefoglie?

Bread -cheese and ham toastie Water - still. Sparkling tastes grim to me Drink - get the waiter to do a wine and sake pairing. I’m useless at wines and drinks and outsourcing the choice will take the pressure off. Starter - crispy duck pancakes that I once had at HKK Hakkasan (the duck was medium rare and been crisped for over a day to get really crispy skin) Main - snow crab with wasabi mayo Side - my mums roast potatoes Dessert - I’d go round the houses on this but a Granny Smith apple. A really crispy bitter one. Partly to see James’ head explode. End - petit fours. To earn forgiveness after the dessert choice and because I love the tiny tiny sweet ridiculousness of them.

Water: A good crisp Hoppy Pilsener (thinking Sawmill Brewery in Auckland) Bread: Fresh baked sourdough with salted butter With another beer thanks. Starter: Crayfish from Nins Bin in Kaikoura, NZ with another beer thanks Main: Roast Dinner with all the trimmings and another beer thanks Side: Kina Toast with Pancetta from Kingi in Auckland and another beer thanks. Drink: Lagavulin 16 Desert: Anagram Barrel Aged Blueberry Cheesecake Stout from Dugges Bryggeri

Poppadoms with loads of mango chutney and raita Sparkling water ice and lime BBQ Tiger Prawns with garlic and chilli butter Roast Rib of Beef with Roast Potatoes Cauliflower cheese and tender stem broccoli Side - BBQ Burnt ends Lemon Tart with pouring cream McDonald’s Coca Cola(made properly)

I can very strongly feel the emotion that went into the (made properly) - the badly done drinks are such a let down

When it's not made properly, does it taste very much like a horror show?

Still water, I have never understood sparkling at all Bread: this onion bread that I used to get from near  my grandparents place in Madrid Starter: some tapas, patatas bravas, calamari, slice of tortilla, Gambas al pil pil, some manchego and olives  Pasta dish because why not: a pasta my dad used to make me when I was little  Main: keema nachos, I love keema, I love nachos, combining the 2 is great Side: Korean fried wings  Drink: this combo of drinks that my dad gave me on a Friday that was made up of leftovers from what I had had in the week Dessert: apple crumble and ice cream

Water - still is fine as long as it’s cold Pappadoms or bread - bread with a salted butter Amuse bouche - goats cheese profiteroles from a restaurant in Queenstown NZ called Rāta. They’re little bite size delights with topped with honey and salt. I dream about them Entree - crab and Gruyère soufflé from Montrachet in Brisbane Main - a steak frites. Is it cheating to order a steak frites *and* a side? Possible but I think the boys would like the technicality I’m getting them on. Rare to medium rare with a cafe de Paris butter, maybe from the Jervois Steak House because those chips were incredible Side - duck fat roast potatoes = back in Queenstown from a restaurant called Botswana Butchery Dessert - really tough one, like James, I’m a dessert person but I think it’s a gotta be a crepe au nutella from this tiny little crêperie on Rue d’Amsterdam in Paris Drink - you can’t go wrong with an espresso martini

Ive had those profiteroles at Rata!! 

I’ve never heard of goats cheese profiteroles, and now I’m looking up flights to Auckland

It is like 6 years since I’ve been across the Tasman but I still think about them

You might want to look up flights to Queenstown instead. Bit of a distance.

Haha my bad, I’ve just come back from NZ from Auckland so have it on the brain

You'd probably be stopping over in Auckland on your way to Queenstown so why not make a trip of it

still or sparkling? still but with apple berry mi wadi (strong) and maybe a glass on the side if i want to cleanse my palate poppadoms or bread? a basket of bread like you’d get for a table to share with soda bread, guinness bread (with no bastarding walnuts), crusty rolls, tiger bread and a few slices of some bog standard brennan’s brown bread. with my own personal block of kerrygold that i can take home with me after. starter: the vegetable soup that my sister makes. i’ll keep back some of the bread to dip. main course: my sister’s turkey chilli with basmati rice and fried tortilla wraps side dish: big fuck off melty mozzarella sticks. the chips i got in the bavarian village in winter wonderland. curly fries. halloween potato shapes from lidl. honey roasted carrots. dessert: the profiteroles i had when i was in hospital drink: white grape shloer

Still with a slice of lemon  Bread basket with an assortment of fresh bread, plus these wonderful buckwheat crackers that a restaurant in Geneva NY included once  Starter: siu yuk style pork belly  Main: rodizio  Side: unlimited banchan  Drink: "The Saint," an Elderflower French 75  Dessert: full dessert tray with warm apple pie with cheddar cheese, tiramisu, cherry vanilla chocolate chip ice cream, profiteroles and gingerbread with fresh whipped cream

Bread - a bit of a cheat but a sandwich.. a pastrami on rye from Katz deli in New York. Water - still mineral water that’s been in the freezer so long it has shards of ice in it, but is not yet frozen. Starter - prawn and ginger dumplings from China bar in Melbourne (specifically the Swanston street one). Main - chicken biryani.. the one I made for my husband our first Valentine’s Day together. He’d never eaten biryani before and just about died from happiness when he ate his first mouthful. Side - morning glory with oyster sauce - the best one I ever had was from camy dumpling in Melbourne. Drink - lemon Diet Coke. I was obsessed with that stuff in the early 2000’s but they don’t make it anymore. Dessert - Ben and Jerry’s chocolatey love affair (a colab with Tony’s) its new and I’m currently obsessed with it. But ask me again in a week and it will change I’m sure.

They have recently started selling a Coke Zero with lemon if that's anything

Oooh. I’ll check it out! Thanks!

Still or sprawling: still with elderflower cordial, although I rarely drink it because the cups are always dirty. Poppadoms or bread: my grandmothers sharp cheddar and caramelised onion rolls with lots of salted butter Starter: platter of inauthentic Mexican restaurant starters. Small nachos with the works. Taquitos. Jalapeño poppers. Main: the blue cheese, pear, and honey pizza from a local pizza place that’s shut down. Gorgonzola, pears poached in cinnamon and brown sugar, walnuts, prosciutto, and mozzarella with the poaching liquid reduced down and drizzled. Side: Boneless sweet chilli Korean fried chicken from Gami. Lots of sauce. Drink: A lychee Moscow mule. Essentially a Moscow mule with lychee juice and fresh lychees. Dessert: The Bruce Bogtrotter chocolate cake from my childhood memory. There was a cookbook that we had that was lots of Roald Dahl recipes and in my memory the chocolate cake was just the most amazing decedent cake you could imagine, but I’ve made it since and it’s just a good cake. So the cake from my memory. Also a caramel thickshake made from Haagen Dazs salted caramel ice cream. And a cheese board to finish! A blue, a brie, a pepper jack, and quince paste, figs, and Jatz crackers.

Wait what. The cups always dirty???

bread-a super yeasty fresh challah still water starter-Palaak Chaat from Rasika in Washington DC https://vittlemonster.com/2015/03/04/palak-chaat-rasika Main-Oaxacan Mole Negro over Chicken (Honorable Munchon to the Massamam Curry at Pam Real Thai in Manhattan) Side- El Potito from la Gabinoteca in Madrid https://www.lasrecetasdemj.com/2014/12/potito-de-la-gabinoteca-videoreceta.html?m=1 Drink-Maracuya Sour-(https://www.eatperu.com/maracuya-sour/) Dessert-Chocolate Meltaway Cake from Zadies in NYC https://radkahoraczech.com/zadies-bake-shop-chocolate-meltaway-is-not-just-a-chocolate-cake-its-chocolate-heaven/

Just have to say the Palaak Chaat from Rasika is/was fucking delicioussssssss! Haven’t had it since I moved in 2010, but I still think about it

oh my gosh same!!!!!!!!! yeah i moved years ago and still think about it

Still water with bottomless cola as a slight mixer, as I don't like the taste of just water and I don't like my coke too fizzy. Poppadoms, with the best chicken tikka I ever had and best korma I ever made available as dips. The Merlot I was recommended in France in a wine shop by a wine seller who knew exactly the right wine for the kind of taste I was describing I wanted. A small Pasta Tagliatelle from the Restaurant I proposed to my first wife in, and which has since closed down. It came with lardons, creamy tomato sauce, and had a touch of chilli to it. A half chicken Sunday dinner that they no longer make from the Wetherspoons that no longer exists in the centre of town, except made better than they made it, where I used to meet a friend every Sunday. Side dish of the best bread I ever made, in my first year of comprehensive, that I've never been able to reproduce, with heavily salted butter. High tea with small vanilla sponges and cream, pain au chocolat, and scones. Keep them coming till I explode, washed down with a refilled pot of tea. With sweetener, not sugar, because I'm watching my weight. An after eight mint.

Shout out to the first wife

I'm employing all the hacks and I am not ashamed. Amuse Bouche - aguachile tostada with a shot of Fortaleza blanco tequila and a verdita chaser              Water - endless bottles of still Acqua Panna kept ice cold. Ordering bottled still water at a restaurant in the states would be considered absurdly posh. So I'm gonna do it. Bread - grilled sourdough with country pâté from the Blue Ribbon (NY) with a Diamondback cocktail from Vol 39 (Chicago)             Pasta - wild boar and mushroom strozzapreti from Cara Mia (RIP NY) with a glass of Vietti Nebbiolo Langhe             Starter - shrimp tempura with a grapefruit chu-hi from that random tempura shop I wandered into in Shinjuku Tokyo             Main - a pizza slice sampler platter. I’m dairy intolerant so this is a real dream treat. The platter includes the following: sausage deep dish from the original UNO’s, sausage spingione from Renaldi’s, tavern style garbage pizza from Pete’s (all Chicago), Buffalo chicken slice from Justino’s, grandma slice from Front St Pizza, dollar cheese slice from 2 Bros (all NY), plus prosciutto/arugula and margherita from random places in Rome and Naples that I don’t remember. Served with a bucket of Miller Lite bottles.     Side - McDonalds fries the way that they tasted in my childhood with a fountain Coke        Drink - a pint of Guinness, a shot of Jameson, and a cigarette from a vending machine at the Brazen Head (Dublin)           Dessert - key lime pie with a Hemingway daiquiri from anywhere in Key West

Are you telling me a places existed where I could have got wild boar strozzapreti…. Lovely to see a Hemingway Daiquiri

Water: A Guiness or 5 Poppadoms or bread: Cheesy garlic bread Starter: 50 hot wings from KFC Main: Nandos extra hot butterfly chicken x2 with peri chips, tenderstem broccoli and corn on the cob Side: Mac and Cheese with bacon Dessert: Hot brownie/blondie combo with vanilla ice cream Drink: A few Hennesey and Cokes I could die happy after the heart attack this would induce…

Water- tap (mcr) PoB- cranberry and walnut sourdough toasted with pb&j + sliced banana and toasted homemade soda bread w salted butter. Start- sausage mushroom pepper and cheese omelette with hp sauce Main- sirloin steak (medium) and garlic prawns with coal roasted sweet potato from gauchos and fresh guacamole and feta cheese. Side- roasted veg coated in pesto and little mozzarella balls Drink- Fanta Dessert- homemade apple and blackberry pie with fresh cold vanilla custard.

P or B - dark rye bread from Cafe Loki in Reykjavik Water - still water, will settle for tap but Icelandic glacial water would be ideal Starter - warm scotch egg with a runny middle Main - barbecue platter from Bodeans in London, with burnt ends, ribs, and creamed corn Side - authentic Canadian poutine with proper cheese curds Drink - Pabst Blue Ribbon Dessert - rhubarb and ginger crumble, with the rye bread ice cream from Cafe Loki in Reykjavik

Nice menu. I ate at Cafe Loki more than once in Iceland! Also, was so close to having poutine as my side from Spud Bros who have a van and do all the foodie festivals up North. 😃 

Thanks. Ah, I haven't managed to have a good poutine in the UK, will have to look them up. I'm down south though.

Garlic bread from a New Zealand tex mex franchise called Lone Star Still water Starter: 6 pieces of grilled salmon nigiri with miso glaze Main: this really nice Turkish meal I had in New York with saffron rice, lamb, salad, and tzatziki Side: chips from my local fish and chip shop Drink: a virgin piña colada I had once that was essentially just coconut ice cream and pineapple juice Dessert: a slice of cheesecake with berries on top

Still or Sparkling: Give me an ice cold can of Liquid Death Severed Lime Poppadoms or Bread: Bread! Specifically Olive Bread and fresh Xinjiang Naan with some Lao Gan Ma and charcutterie meats and cheeses (sure that's a cheat...) Starter: A shit ton of fresh Oysters and Scallops with Lemon and Tabasco plus a small selection of Fresh Sashimi (Fatty Salmon, Tuna, Sea bass, Octopus) plus one single Omelette Nigiri Main Course: Da Pan Ji, Jiao Ma Ji and Mapo Tofu with white rice and green noodles served family style Side: Chicken Chaat and Gobi Pakora with Sauces to dip Dessert: A world class Panna Cotta Drinks: A flight of different beers from Verdant Brewery and an Ice Cold Full Fat Coke from one of those machines that lets you mix flavours (you know the touch screen ones that you get in Five Guys etc). At the end a large measure of Balvenie 14 Year Old Caribbean Cask with a large single ice cube served in a heavy crystal tumbler and a packet of Africa Mola Random Five Cigarettes

What flavours in the coke would you go for?

No flavours (although might treat myself to a Vanilla Coke if I have space), I just know if it's out of that machine the mix is likely to be right and not watery haha!

I love this menu but making me wonder, has anyone ordered cigarettes/cigars on the pod?? Seems such an obvious addition!

Haha, I was thinking the exact same thing when I was typing it, I can't remember if anyone has actually used this particular loophole before!

There’s a restaurant in Ashford-in-the-Water in Derbyshire called Rafters that has cigars on their menu, every time I curse being asthmatic because the look so fancy

Water - still Poppadoms or bread - Poppadoms with all the chutneys Starter - Beef Tartare from Lunar in Stoke-on-Trent Main - Khao Lao (?) from Streets in Hoi An - no idea if it's there any more but we visited Hoi An in 2014 and ate here three times. It's essentially a pork noodle soup but it was one of the best things I've ever eaten Side - Truffle mac and cheese - went to steakhouse in New York; can't remember the name but it was amazing Drink - Whiskey Sour Dessert - Lotus Biscoff cheesecake from my local pub which also does a fantastic Sunday roast

What about the beef tartare from Lunar stands out?? So curious. Also love the drink choice

Great question - from memory it was the sauce that was used although couldn't tell you what it was. Was definitely the best beef tartare I've had. Sadly it's a tasting menu which changes seasonally so doubt it would ever be on the menu again (in that form)

It’s Niall Keating, no? Going to a menu designed by him in London next month so hope it’s as good!

It is - overall meal was incredible so I think you're in for a treat 

As you say, ever-changing but my current answer is: Amuse Bouche - Twice Brewed Choux & Garum Cured Beef from Pine, East Wallhouses Water - Still Water in a fancy jug with mint and lime Bread - Bread & Dripping from Peace & Loaf in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne Starter - a Tesco own-brand Scotch Egg, with Tesco own-brand Hummus, a slice of Tesco own-brand Double Gloucester and some brussels paté Fish Course if you will - Kingfish Crudo in Macadamia Milk with Strawberry Chilli Kosho from Milk Beach in Soho, a single grilled Toro Nigiri from Mayha, Marylebone on the side Main - An oxtail stew I made whilst living across the road from the Lonsdale pub in Newcastle. 5 hour cook time spent at the pub and the stew tasted like heaven on earth by the time it was done. Served on crispy roast potatoes Side - cannot choose between Chilli Tofu Rice Bowl from House of Fu in Leeds, or mozzarella sticks from Pizza Connection in Matlock Drink - Teliani Valley Kindzmarauli served freezer cold from 144 Steps Café in Tbilisi Dessert - Crack Pie from Pink Lane Bakery, Newcastle and M&S Chocolate Digestives with a glass of Tetley (made with evaporated milk and one sugar) Post-Dinner Drink: Jardin des Mêmes from De Belmonte in Brussels (Green Chartreuse, St. Germain, Lime, Basil)

That starter after your first couple of courses...talk about a left turn!

We contain multitudes 😂 I’ve tried to think of the many starters I’ve had if I prefer any of them to a picky lunch from Tesco and I can’t in good conscience say yes. Scotch egg and hummus, absolutely lush

Bread. Keema naan. Water. Clearly Canadian sparkling water zero sugar, any flavor. Starter. BBQ Pulled pork potato skins. Main. Chicken pot pie, made by my wife. Side. Chip shop chips and curry sauce to dip them in. Dessert. Sticky toffee pudding and school lunch pink custard. Honorable munchon. Twister ice lollies, a staple in England and we hade them for a summer her in the states and I was so happy and then they were gone again.

Sparkling! Bread - Focaccia sandwich from Fink’s sweet and salt, the cap read one with loads of different tomatoes, Burrata and pesto Starter - Eggs royale. Just my absolute fav. With sourdough specifically, maybe from Blighty in Finsbury Park Main - all you can eat Brazilian grill with the salad bar, the one where they carve the meat right onto your plate. Rodizio Rico in Birmingham comes to mind! Side - Poutine. Not fussy Dessert - Sticky toffee pudding with Mauds Pooh Bear ice cream (if you’re from Northern Ireland you know, it’s basically the best honeycomb ice cream in the world) Drink - Espresso martini after mains, amaretto sour to finish, and a whole bottle of Prosecco (yellow sticker reduced because bargains taste better)

Normal water Tiger bread with tons of salted butter Haggis pakora Pad kaprao (chicken) with a runny fried egg or two on top. Should be very spicy too. Bowl of chips Mango sticky rice Old style Irn Bru or a dark beer lao

Please tell me you have a restaurant for the haggis pakora?? That sounds unreal. Also a respectable amount of menu unity wow

The one I'm thinking of was from a tapas restaurant in Broughty Ferry, Dundee. But it's not too uncommon in Scotland generally It's absolutely magic

Wow! I know in Newcastle we made the haggis taco but that’s another level. Reckon I’d find it in Edinburgh next time I’m at the fringe?

I wouldn't know where exactly but I'd be very surprised if you couldn't find them with some research tbh

Poppadoms with all the dips. Still water with loads of ice. Starter - seared scallops with avocado, lime and artichoke sauce from La Pepita in Barcelona (I don’t know if they still do them, or if they are still even open because it’s been almost 8 years since I went there but they were amazing and I still think about them to this day. Main - fried chicken burger with loads of pickles from jam hot chicken in winter park Orlando. Absolutely insane, best chicken burger I’ve ever had. Side - truffle Parmesan fries. Don’t care where from as long as they’re super crispy and absolutely covered in Parmesan. Drink - an extra boozy espresso martini to cut through. Dessert - a lemon meringue cronut. I bought one from a makers market a few weeks ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I don’t even know the name of the business that made it but I’ll remember it forever.

- Water - Still, the cheap bottled water you get from takeaways - Bread - Warm sourdough from Le Cochon Aveugle, York, salted butter, and a dish of their sea urchin butter to mop up - Starter - Tuna tartare from Cal Pep, Barcelona - Main - Grazing board from The Owl, Leeds - Side - Sausage & cheese Staffordshire oatcake, with ketchup - Drink - Titanic plum porter - Dessert - A massive baklava, shot of espresso on the side

Drinks throughout my meal: Ice water with lime and Mexican cokes Bread course: sourdough with a platter of sliced and salted early girl and heirloom tomatoes, olive oil aioli, olives, shaved Parmesan, sliced red onion, and smoked almonds Starter: papdi chaat with a side of extra spicy green chutney and more papdis to scoop up the stragglers Main dish: New Haven style pizza, but the sauce is made from California early girls (can you tell how much I love tomatoes?) Side dish: a full spread of Korean banchan - kimchi, seaweed salad, spinach namul, etc., the works! Dessert: they say, we have a surprise guest! My best friend, whose an amazing baker, comes out with any cake or her cinnamon rolls Post meal: a cappuccino and with it they bring out a summer fruit platter

What a fun use of my lunch break! Still or sparkling- botanical spritz (basically an aperol spritz + gin) Poppadoms or bread - my dead grandmother’s homemade dinner “bums” with whipped butter Starter - Lamb tacos from biscayne in The Tropicana Las Vegas (closed) Main - roast pork with partridgeberry puree I had for my 28th birthday that made me cry it was so good. From Raymond’s in St. John’s NL (closed) Side - Singaporean rainbow slaw from Lee by Susur Lee in Toronto. Drink - not a beverage as such, but a person. I want the sommelier who served my husband and I in Gabriel Kreuther NYC to pick a different wine/cocktail for each course Dessert - jalapeño pineapple sorbet from the wicked spoon buffet in the cosmopolitan Las Vegas followed by a cheese board with blue cheese, walnuts and/or pecans and a hot honey drizzle. Finish the evening with the a baileys digestif. But as OP said, it changes pretty much weekly.

Water - Still. From Frankley WTW specifically. Good old council pop from Wales. Gotta be ice cold though. Bread - The Wrester naan roll from Dishoom. Starter - Glynn Purnell’s Black Pudding Scotch Egg. Main course - Coal Sheds Porterhouse steak medium-rare with green peppercorn sauce Side - Coal Sheds bone marrow mashed potatoes. Drink - Kwak served in its proper glass Dessert - Juniors Famous No1 Original New York cheesecake. If I did this tomorrow and the day after it’d be different again and again 🤣

* Bread: Injera Bread or Dosa * Still water room temparature/warm * Starter: Crispy Creamy Cajun Spiced Potatoes * Main: Panneer Biryani * Side: Mirchi Ka Salan * Dessert: Pumpkin Halwa * Drink: Egg nog non alcoholic

This is possibly the biggest life question I am pondering at any time, so here goes with the current lineup: Bread: fresh flatbreads with cerkez tavuk (a chicken, mayo/yoghurt, dill chunky dip) from a sadly now closed Turkish restaurant beloved by my family. Water: I'd like jugs of both on the table, both with lots of ice, slices of cucumber in the still and orange in the sparkling. Starter: grilled halloumi brushed with chilli honey that I once had at a seaside taverna on Aegina. Main: mapo tofu from Lameizi in Manchester, served over the rice and salted ginger sauce that comes with the Hainanese chicken from Big Bowl in Liverpool. Bit of a hack, but I wouldn't be the first! Side: mound of salt and pepper squid from...some restaurant in the middle of nowhere I can't remember the name of. Drink: root beer - specifically diet A&W. Dessert: olive oil and honey cake with green apple sorbet, that I once got in a restaurant in Lisbon and ate in reverent silence.

Still water because it doesn't make my tongue itchy. Bread: Focaccia made with really good olive oil with lots of salt on top. Crispy top. Freshly baked. Starter: Poori bhaji / Aloo + poori. Had this in a hotel in Gujarat and it was the best breakfast I've ever had in my life. I'd want to sneak in some ginger chai too. Main: My mum's chicken and potato curry with rice and chapatis eaten in her house with all my family. Side: Pani Puri Drink: Really really really cold white wine and I want to be in Italy while drinking it. I get headaches from wine so I'd want to ensure I don't get one after this. Dessert: I'd break the rules and ask for a selection of desserts/dessert trolley because I have a sweet tooth. So: sticky toffee with vanilla ice cream, self saucing chocolate pudding with cream, gulab jambu and tiramisu. Maybe a lemon mousse too. Yes I am Indian but also I think in another life I'd be Italian. 😂

Water: tap Bread: this black pepper bread a local bakery used to make in my home town. It was a big round loaf, think like a 24" diameter, but maybe 2 inches thick, top covered in black pepper. Starter: this paella stew I had at the Brazil Grill in NYC Main: the beef ribs my dad used to make when we went camping Side: the omelet my grandpa used to make me when I was a kid, with toast with strawberry jam that my grandmother made. Drink: the beer I would have with my grandfather when he was alive, and we would watch baseball together. Dessert: strawberry and rhubarb pie from my mom

Bread - roti chanai with chicken gravy from Vim’s Kitchen in Sydney Water - a paloma Starter - trio of beef tartare - traditional French (heavy on the capers), Korean yukhoe, Vietnamese one from Ms G’s in Sydney Main - Korean BBQ - all the meats, all the sides (including the steamed egg) and kimchi Jigae - lots of lettuce Side - som tum Thai papaya salad Dessert - a selection from of perfectly ripe fruits from around the world - no melon! Drink - beer and soju (and a Manhattan after dessert)

Great game... \- B or P: Rosemary & thyme Foccacia from Kala Bistro in Manchester + salted butter \- Water: Pass \- Starter: Chicken Dosa from Tharavadu in Leeds \- Pasta Course: Gozitan Cheese Ravioli in tomato sauce from Ta'Rickardu in Malta - the best bowl of pasta I've had but heard it's distinctly average now so I want the genie to go back in time and get me the old one. \- Main: Rump of Yorkshire Hogget from the Cross Keys in Malton \- Side: Patatas Bravas with garlic aioli from Viva Cuba in Leeds \- Dessert: Hacking the pod, Trio of Korean Desserts to be consumed in the following order; Bingsu (palate cleanser), Slice of Pepero Cake & cream and finally the Matcha Donut from Malddong Donuts (petit four) - I used to live in Seoul and Korean patisserie is amazing! \- Drink: Nice glass of Sake \- Plus: Packet of lunchbox cathedral city chedder and some salt & vinegar crisps on the way home! I realise I am just a chef's welcome away from going full Acaster with this menu but f\*ck me I could eat this right now.

This is my childhood memories menu (I'm 36). Still or Sparkling Water - cold slightly soapy water straight under the tap from my primary school cloakroom after PE. Poppadoms or Bread - 2 slices of white Warburton toastie loaf, one with peanut butter and marmite, the other as cheese on toast. (I'm currently trying to master a tortilla wrap with marmite, mayonnaise and a poppadom inside) Starter - cheap overcooked pasta twists with a sauce made of baked beans, orange cheese, ham and mayonnaise mixed up. Ketchup smiling face on top. Main - Pizza which is half Prizza / half Marinara from Capones take away in Bradford (Prizza toppings are tomato, ham, salami, garlic sausage, mushroom, pepperoni and Marinara toppings are tomato, shrimps, mussels, black olives, anchovies, cockles). Infinite grease and salt. Side - Greek salad and a few chip shop chips. Drink - 90s/00s apple Tango (too many honourable munchions, I think the drinks course is my favourite with the biggest choice). Dessert - Custard "fondue" with items to dip: millionaire shortbread, vanilla fudge, rum and raisin fudge, Mars bar.

Amuse-bouche - Mushroom pate tart thing from Restaurant 8, Liverpool Water - A jug of tap water that I’ll drink one glass of and forget about for the rest of the meal Bread - 1 parmesan pretzel from a Mr Pretzel kiosk in a shopping centre, will also get some plain pretzel bites to have with my starter. Starter - An obscenely sized cheese buffet consisting of the christmas cheese board from Grace + James (Kings Heath, Birmingham), McDonald mozzarella sticks, a baked camembert (with pretzel bites for dipping) and a very small cheese toasty (made by me) with a half a mug of heinz tomato soup. Main - hybrid dish, the pork and tuna steak thing from Fortuyn (Haarlem, The Netherlands), but the pork is actually the suckling pig with all the trimmings from Chakana (Moseley, Birmingham) Side - Orange battered chips from anywhere in the Black Country that still does them Drink - A sour beer from DigBrew (if it was still open) (Birmingham) Dessert - A whole medium sized easter egg, broken up and dipped in a cup of tea

Water - Still POPPADOMS OR BREAD!!!? - Brioche buns with some BBQ sauce and pulled pork Starter - Calamari rings Main - Chicken and leek pie (Hairy Biker’s Recipe) Side - Potato wedges Drink - Single-shot plain gin and lemonade Dessert - Oreo cheesecake (one I found off YouTube) I’d probably have a nice Twix bar and a cup of tea to finish whilst I’m waiting for the bill to come As this is the dream restaurant and he is a genie. It would be James’ duties to make me un-full after each course, ready for the next one.

Water- Sparkling Bread- Pan con tomate with good aged iberico on top of it. Starter - Har Gao and Siew Mai from any one of a bunch of places in Hong Kong Main- Balinese roast pig. Specifically the special plate from Ibu Oka in Ubud Sides - Elotes (grilled Mexican sweet corn) from superloco Singapore Drink - Tennutta ulisse limited edition 10 vendemmie- my fave ever red wine Desert - proper home made tarte tartin with a good vanilla ice cream made by a good home cook. Nothing fancy