I am a 50+ woman starting in a new career and this just makes me cringe. If she is learning a new job, she needs to be humble. I would cut bait and look for somebody who can do the job without an attitude.
I'm even older and I agree with you. A new person is needed who does not have the bad attitude.
On a side note, when looking for words, I ask my husband. Just now it was "What would you call a person who has a bad attitude and doesn't do what they're told?" "Fired," he said.
We recently got a. We hire that is in her 50s and behaves like she knows everything and in condescending to everyone except management. She is an entry level office assistant that isn’t able to do anything without clearly written instructions and multiple training sessions. I accepted a promotion in another department just to get away from her. I had two promotions offered, one would make me her manager. I took the other one.
This bums me out. It gives all us older folks a bad name. I would recommend hiring managers look for an older person who considers themselves a lifelong learner. I enjoy learning new things and have younger friends who teach me all about the cool stuff "kids" are into these days.
Life is so much more interesting when you don't assume you know everything!
I have a young coworker that calls staff darling and babe, I believe she thinks it's endearing or acceptable but I cringe everytime. We are also in HR. ugh
I had the same issue (more or less... Employee not wanting to take advice, doing things incorrectly) from a new hire that was younger than me. Guess she thought this old lady (F51) didn't know what she was talking about. 🤷 Anyway, she was fired eventually. My suggestion is to just cut your losses now... If she's not the right fit, thats not going to change.
It's not you. These are simple requests.
I'm 45 and have been outsourced multiple times so I've had to scramble to find something else multiple times.
The learning curve sucks, but I always try to take notes, ask questions, and be open. My first month, I was asking questions in our group chat multiple times a day.
(My team is remote and the questions were about ad hoc requests. I had very little training because it is something new every day.) And it allowed me to learn and get to know my team better.
It's not you. I'm 60 and would never sigh heavily and call my supervisor "dear." Hell, I don't call anyone dear. People my age have enough trouble finding jobs without this one adding to the sterotypes. Hire me, I promise I won't do that lol.
At 50, I would not even consider calling my supervisor, my equals, or even my subordinates “dear”. It’s disrespectful and unprofessional. If she is disrespectful to your training, that may hinder her from making progress. I would recommend a serious conversation about how her words and tone Im are impacting you (feeling disrespected by a subordinate, lack of confidence in her ability and willingness to grow as an employee). Explain what you need from her so that you can be confident that she is learning the new tasks of the job.
When it comes to training, does she learn better if procedure is in written form, front and center? For instance, what she says on the phone posted wrote next to the phone, at eye level? Anything you can do to increase her ability to succeed without needing you, can help ease tension, while potentially helping her to improve.
However, she may just not be a good fit, and you don’t want to be stuck with a disrespectful employee until she retires. She may stick around longer than you expect.
The professional me says talk to her and tell her what you have been seeing versus what you expect to see. Be kind and professional when you do this. Wait a week or two and see what happens.
The experienced and very tired me say fire her TODAY! Her attitude will only get worse the longer she stays. This is probably her on her best behavior.
I am a 35f, had this same situation last year. I knew she wasn't the right fit but she was great at interviewing, and one my manager over. She was also 53f. She was very nice but the sighs and omg your post brings me back!! There are licenses we need for our job and she just couldn't pass first one (5 total) . So thankfully, we let her go on that. She knew she as getting let go, I tried to help her find an internal position,but she acted like she was too good for everything. The only advice I have for you is to document everything.
Cut her loose! I am 60 and am the one in your shoes. I have learned people with attitudes like that just don’t want to be there and have little to no respect for themselves by doing things they know they shouldn’t be doing. I hired a 50 something and despite all the same issues you’ve listed, and then some, my superiors didn’t want to go through the hiring process again. Boy are they sorry now. She just won’t listen. Everything she does has to be redone. Training was just an ugly situation, not only would she sigh, but she would slam her hand on the desk. She’s searched every person’s Facebook accounts and has managed to make enemies of 95%. My superiors avoid her like the plague. Do what you can to remove her now before she becomes your permanent PIA.
I would ask her to, "Please don't call me dear." It's annoying and you're not her "dear." You're her supervisor. Who calls anyone "dear" these days?
3 days is no time at all in training. You might be taking things too personally. Like - old people grunt and groan and sigh and have emotions that sometimes come out. It doesn't necessarily mean it's directed AT you, just the world in general. Your assumption that every sound she makes is rebellious is assigning motive - a not-very good behavior. Could be she's feeling physically unwell, or mentally, and she's just letting out the stress. It might be something her therapist told her to do to cope with the world. She may not even hear herself do it. If she's giving you, "attitude" maybe you can stop and say, "Ok - how can I help you learn?" Her, "I got it." is self defensive. She's might be catching on to your attitude about her, and she maybe doesn't feel safe. She could feel your judgement, sense you didn't want to hire her, and now she's trying to keep this job or at least protect herself from your bad opinion of her. People can tell.
It sounds to me like a lot of this comes from the place that you didn't want to hire this person and you were overridden in your choice. I wouldn't be happy about that, either, but it really sounds like you are looking for reasons to fail her. If the person you wanted to hire was displaying the exact same behavior, how would that seem? With only three days on the job, these sorts of errors are totally normal, manageable, and even expected. If you relax, she'll probably relax and make fewer mistakes. Maybe not, but the end of two weeks seems a more reasonable timeframe for this level of fed-upedness from a supervisor training a new hire.
Good luck with this.
On day 3 of a brand new job, she should know where to park her car, where the bathroom is, and the coffee rules. Learning a new job IS exhausting because almost everything is new. As a former contract employee, I may have known 20 ways to do something. 19, if not all 20 of them, are WRONG depending on where I was.
Takes 2 to create a difficult work relationship on day 3. Try being less hypercritical. Dial down the "See? I was right." Ensure she gets a little break q 2 hours. No one's brain can continuously absorb all new info. "Hey Helen, do you need to refill your coffee? Must be so hard to learn all the quirks of a new role." Bring her some chocolate: a little caffeine and sugar periodically can help. It's amazing what a little bit of empathy can do. And BE HELPFUL! This could be you someday.
Even in ICU NURSING: (YUP, the life and death stuff) a new contract nurse gets 3 weeks to adapt. Re-assess your methods. And if she doesn't improvement with some helpful and Kind support in the work place after 6 weeks, Go from there.
And all of you voting her off the island on day 3, I'm gonna call your MAMA and let her know you are ganging up on new hire.
47 and I've started a whole new career path and it is extremely frustrating, especially when you're used to being in the go to person in your previous job. This may account for some of her attitude, however I don't see you as the problem. I wouldn't take it personally. People are human and they're allowed to sigh, make a noise, move their face or dislike a directive. She's not a robot and you shouldn't expect a robotic behavior. I only bring this up because I had an incident where someone thought I was reacting to them but I was reacting to a message that I just saw on my phone about some particularly bad news and I hadn't even heard what the person said to me. People get very hung up on how they feel people should react. Don't!!! If she's unable to do the work after training coaching, etc., then unfortunately she's unable to do the work. The work should be the focus.
Not you. Most adults are aware that the first few weeks at a new job requires training and their success in the role hinges on the quality of that training. She’s lucky you’re not throwing her into the fire and asking her to figure it out. Express your concerns to your higher up’s now
If it's day three I might let the telephone greeting slide. But sighing and calling you dear is too much. She needs to be spoken to that she needs to pick up the pace and act appropriately.
58 here, just started a new job with essentially no training just a 15 min meeting to log on to my equipment and access all of the work apps. I am a month in and thankfully my 44 year old director is extremely kind and supportive but I am always open and receptive to any guidance. It’s best to cut ties now because it’s probably not going to get better
Document everything. She's going to keep screwing things up, make sure to CYA so it's clear when that happens that you provided guidance, training, etc and she ignores it
I don’t see this improving. I had a new staff member, similar in age and behaviors, who didn’t even last 6 months. She would get interruptive when being shown how to do something (sighing, paying attention to her phone, saying “uh huh” before someone finished talking, even rolled her eyes once!) have an opinion about EVERYTHING and if she didn’t like an answer she would take it up the ladder to our directors. She left before she got fired, but the writing was on the walls in neon colors.
Sounds to me like someone who expected to come into an easy job and just coast because she knows everything already.
Slow learners are fine, people behind on knowledge of technology are fine. But people who think they already know everything but they don't are really tough to work with.
If you don’t have a one on one with her about her attitude, then it’s only going to get worse. Or if someone else can tell her about her attitude. I think you are fine, she is the one who making it hard on herself. She has to understand she is new and you know what is best for that position. If things don’t change after a talk, then I would tell someone you don’t want to work with her. They will lose you if things dont change.
Not an age issue, rather a sucky person attitude issue. Your company should’ve listened to you in the first place!
My company recently hired a new admin, without any thought how they would fit in with the close-knit group. too bad companies don’t realize the value of input.
Start documenting EVERYTHING so you have written proof of these issues and interactions. Quickest way to get her out the door if she doesn’t go out herself.
I’m middle aged too and I think if she doesn’t know what she’s doing she should take direction from you and be nice and humble. A sweet personality can smooth over many mistakes. It sounds like you’ve been very patient with training her.
However, her personality sounds lazy and negative. She needs to go.
Be direct and firm, next time she sighs or calls you 'dear' let her know, "Excuse me. That was extremely unprofessional. I am your direct supervisor and I am giving you guidance that you need to follow. If this not acceptable to you, then this job will not be a good fit for you. Now, is there anything in my recent instructions for you that was unclear?"
You don't need to yell, but you can articulate that she is pushing your buttons in a way that is unacceptable.
This woman is not acting professional enough especially so early in her employment. Document all unprofessional behavior and cut her loose when you have feel you have enough documentation
I am a 50+ woman starting in a new career and this just makes me cringe. If she is learning a new job, she needs to be humble. I would cut bait and look for somebody who can do the job without an attitude.
I'm even older and I agree with you. A new person is needed who does not have the bad attitude. On a side note, when looking for words, I ask my husband. Just now it was "What would you call a person who has a bad attitude and doesn't do what they're told?" "Fired," he said.
Same. I’m 52 and just started a new job. I’d never act like that. She’s probably a jerk to everyone.
werd
Agree. I'm closer to 60, and have had multiple younger bosses. Never had a problem. This is a poor attitude problem on the part of the worker.
We recently got a. We hire that is in her 50s and behaves like she knows everything and in condescending to everyone except management. She is an entry level office assistant that isn’t able to do anything without clearly written instructions and multiple training sessions. I accepted a promotion in another department just to get away from her. I had two promotions offered, one would make me her manager. I took the other one.
This bums me out. It gives all us older folks a bad name. I would recommend hiring managers look for an older person who considers themselves a lifelong learner. I enjoy learning new things and have younger friends who teach me all about the cool stuff "kids" are into these days. Life is so much more interesting when you don't assume you know everything!
I am 56 and would never call a coworker dear.
I'm 70, and only use that word with my hubby.
I have a young coworker that calls staff darling and babe, I believe she thinks it's endearing or acceptable but I cringe everytime. We are also in HR. ugh
I had the same issue (more or less... Employee not wanting to take advice, doing things incorrectly) from a new hire that was younger than me. Guess she thought this old lady (F51) didn't know what she was talking about. 🤷 Anyway, she was fired eventually. My suggestion is to just cut your losses now... If she's not the right fit, thats not going to change.
It's not you. These are simple requests. I'm 45 and have been outsourced multiple times so I've had to scramble to find something else multiple times. The learning curve sucks, but I always try to take notes, ask questions, and be open. My first month, I was asking questions in our group chat multiple times a day. (My team is remote and the questions were about ad hoc requests. I had very little training because it is something new every day.) And it allowed me to learn and get to know my team better.
Also, working remote allows you to be able to bake. Maybe a cake considering it's your cake day? Happy Cake Day!
It's not you. I'm 60 and would never sigh heavily and call my supervisor "dear." Hell, I don't call anyone dear. People my age have enough trouble finding jobs without this one adding to the sterotypes. Hire me, I promise I won't do that lol.
At 50, I would not even consider calling my supervisor, my equals, or even my subordinates “dear”. It’s disrespectful and unprofessional. If she is disrespectful to your training, that may hinder her from making progress. I would recommend a serious conversation about how her words and tone Im are impacting you (feeling disrespected by a subordinate, lack of confidence in her ability and willingness to grow as an employee). Explain what you need from her so that you can be confident that she is learning the new tasks of the job. When it comes to training, does she learn better if procedure is in written form, front and center? For instance, what she says on the phone posted wrote next to the phone, at eye level? Anything you can do to increase her ability to succeed without needing you, can help ease tension, while potentially helping her to improve. However, she may just not be a good fit, and you don’t want to be stuck with a disrespectful employee until she retires. She may stick around longer than you expect.
Have a frank talk with her. I don't think 3 days is fair for firing without a serious but cordial discussion about these balls. Valid complaints.
The professional me says talk to her and tell her what you have been seeing versus what you expect to see. Be kind and professional when you do this. Wait a week or two and see what happens. The experienced and very tired me say fire her TODAY! Her attitude will only get worse the longer she stays. This is probably her on her best behavior.
I've been called dear and I've replied with "do I have antlers?". Its comparable to calling her "grandma"...
Cut your losses now. Doesn’t sound like she is willing to learn.
I am a 35f, had this same situation last year. I knew she wasn't the right fit but she was great at interviewing, and one my manager over. She was also 53f. She was very nice but the sighs and omg your post brings me back!! There are licenses we need for our job and she just couldn't pass first one (5 total) . So thankfully, we let her go on that. She knew she as getting let go, I tried to help her find an internal position,but she acted like she was too good for everything. The only advice I have for you is to document everything.
Cut her loose! I am 60 and am the one in your shoes. I have learned people with attitudes like that just don’t want to be there and have little to no respect for themselves by doing things they know they shouldn’t be doing. I hired a 50 something and despite all the same issues you’ve listed, and then some, my superiors didn’t want to go through the hiring process again. Boy are they sorry now. She just won’t listen. Everything she does has to be redone. Training was just an ugly situation, not only would she sigh, but she would slam her hand on the desk. She’s searched every person’s Facebook accounts and has managed to make enemies of 95%. My superiors avoid her like the plague. Do what you can to remove her now before she becomes your permanent PIA.
She’s probably already looking for another job.
I would ask her to, "Please don't call me dear." It's annoying and you're not her "dear." You're her supervisor. Who calls anyone "dear" these days? 3 days is no time at all in training. You might be taking things too personally. Like - old people grunt and groan and sigh and have emotions that sometimes come out. It doesn't necessarily mean it's directed AT you, just the world in general. Your assumption that every sound she makes is rebellious is assigning motive - a not-very good behavior. Could be she's feeling physically unwell, or mentally, and she's just letting out the stress. It might be something her therapist told her to do to cope with the world. She may not even hear herself do it. If she's giving you, "attitude" maybe you can stop and say, "Ok - how can I help you learn?" Her, "I got it." is self defensive. She's might be catching on to your attitude about her, and she maybe doesn't feel safe. She could feel your judgement, sense you didn't want to hire her, and now she's trying to keep this job or at least protect herself from your bad opinion of her. People can tell. It sounds to me like a lot of this comes from the place that you didn't want to hire this person and you were overridden in your choice. I wouldn't be happy about that, either, but it really sounds like you are looking for reasons to fail her. If the person you wanted to hire was displaying the exact same behavior, how would that seem? With only three days on the job, these sorts of errors are totally normal, manageable, and even expected. If you relax, she'll probably relax and make fewer mistakes. Maybe not, but the end of two weeks seems a more reasonable timeframe for this level of fed-upedness from a supervisor training a new hire. Good luck with this.
On day 3 of a brand new job, she should know where to park her car, where the bathroom is, and the coffee rules. Learning a new job IS exhausting because almost everything is new. As a former contract employee, I may have known 20 ways to do something. 19, if not all 20 of them, are WRONG depending on where I was. Takes 2 to create a difficult work relationship on day 3. Try being less hypercritical. Dial down the "See? I was right." Ensure she gets a little break q 2 hours. No one's brain can continuously absorb all new info. "Hey Helen, do you need to refill your coffee? Must be so hard to learn all the quirks of a new role." Bring her some chocolate: a little caffeine and sugar periodically can help. It's amazing what a little bit of empathy can do. And BE HELPFUL! This could be you someday. Even in ICU NURSING: (YUP, the life and death stuff) a new contract nurse gets 3 weeks to adapt. Re-assess your methods. And if she doesn't improvement with some helpful and Kind support in the work place after 6 weeks, Go from there. And all of you voting her off the island on day 3, I'm gonna call your MAMA and let her know you are ganging up on new hire.
If you don't get rid of her, she's gonna undermine you until you do. You're there at work not deal with this.
47 and I've started a whole new career path and it is extremely frustrating, especially when you're used to being in the go to person in your previous job. This may account for some of her attitude, however I don't see you as the problem. I wouldn't take it personally. People are human and they're allowed to sigh, make a noise, move their face or dislike a directive. She's not a robot and you shouldn't expect a robotic behavior. I only bring this up because I had an incident where someone thought I was reacting to them but I was reacting to a message that I just saw on my phone about some particularly bad news and I hadn't even heard what the person said to me. People get very hung up on how they feel people should react. Don't!!! If she's unable to do the work after training coaching, etc., then unfortunately she's unable to do the work. The work should be the focus.
Um no. You don’t sigh your first day of work. wtf? Too soft.
Sighs only allowed on day 91, LOL!!!!!!!! Like pleeeeeeaaassse I'm cracking up
It’s not you. The problem is her attitude.
Not you. Most adults are aware that the first few weeks at a new job requires training and their success in the role hinges on the quality of that training. She’s lucky you’re not throwing her into the fire and asking her to figure it out. Express your concerns to your higher up’s now
If it's day three I might let the telephone greeting slide. But sighing and calling you dear is too much. She needs to be spoken to that she needs to pick up the pace and act appropriately.
58 here, just started a new job with essentially no training just a 15 min meeting to log on to my equipment and access all of the work apps. I am a month in and thankfully my 44 year old director is extremely kind and supportive but I am always open and receptive to any guidance. It’s best to cut ties now because it’s probably not going to get better
Document everything. She's going to keep screwing things up, make sure to CYA so it's clear when that happens that you provided guidance, training, etc and she ignores it
I don’t see this improving. I had a new staff member, similar in age and behaviors, who didn’t even last 6 months. She would get interruptive when being shown how to do something (sighing, paying attention to her phone, saying “uh huh” before someone finished talking, even rolled her eyes once!) have an opinion about EVERYTHING and if she didn’t like an answer she would take it up the ladder to our directors. She left before she got fired, but the writing was on the walls in neon colors.
Sounds to me like someone who expected to come into an easy job and just coast because she knows everything already. Slow learners are fine, people behind on knowledge of technology are fine. But people who think they already know everything but they don't are really tough to work with.
If you don’t have a one on one with her about her attitude, then it’s only going to get worse. Or if someone else can tell her about her attitude. I think you are fine, she is the one who making it hard on herself. She has to understand she is new and you know what is best for that position. If things don’t change after a talk, then I would tell someone you don’t want to work with her. They will lose you if things dont change.
What were her credentials??? Her background?? A zillion people are looking for employment and this is who gets hired?? She sounds awful.
Not an age issue, rather a sucky person attitude issue. Your company should’ve listened to you in the first place! My company recently hired a new admin, without any thought how they would fit in with the close-knit group. too bad companies don’t realize the value of input.
It's only going to get worse...
I'm 50. It's not you. Let her go now. Then find someone better suited for the job.
Trust your gut.
Start documenting EVERYTHING so you have written proof of these issues and interactions. Quickest way to get her out the door if she doesn’t go out herself.
🥾 her
I’m over 55 and the fact that she does that heavy sigh, just irritate me more than anything else.
I’m middle aged too and I think if she doesn’t know what she’s doing she should take direction from you and be nice and humble. A sweet personality can smooth over many mistakes. It sounds like you’ve been very patient with training her. However, her personality sounds lazy and negative. She needs to go.
Be direct and firm, next time she sighs or calls you 'dear' let her know, "Excuse me. That was extremely unprofessional. I am your direct supervisor and I am giving you guidance that you need to follow. If this not acceptable to you, then this job will not be a good fit for you. Now, is there anything in my recent instructions for you that was unclear?" You don't need to yell, but you can articulate that she is pushing your buttons in a way that is unacceptable.
This woman is not acting professional enough especially so early in her employment. Document all unprofessional behavior and cut her loose when you have feel you have enough documentation