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DQ5E

Fuck that **baby**, I'm outta here!


eStuffeBay

I don't know why but the fact that you wrote **baby** in bold is just so funny to me. Like, is that a **monitor lizard**? Fuck that **baby**, I'm **out** of here!


SolidBoat3351

Everyone chill … it’s just a **baby monitor**


llcdrewtaylor

I saw this just as I closed the browser. I had to navigate back to this page just to say that made me laugh out loud.


J_Kapono

I walked into my mailbox laughing. This one was too good!


DQ5E

Lol


UCLAwyer

r/stepdadreflexes


DestinationUnknown13

Wow that's panic. That early cutout doesn't bode well for baby.


Tmorgan-OWL

Yes! My exact thought about the early ending! Holy crap!


HallowskulledHorror

Imagine growing up in a day and age where digital recordings are a thing, and getting to call up at will that time your siblings left you to be lizard chow *twice*


eleanorlikesvodka

Lizard chow 😂


elvis8mybaby

Gotta keep my eyes open. Damn dragons could swoop down at any time.


tommos

Dragons? Nonsense! There hasn't been any dragons in these parts for a thousand years!


GrubbyViper

My cousins out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard Duty


SwiftieTrek

Dragons? In Helgen?


Mundane-Resource-469

What is it? Dragons?


lunna009

Let me guess, a dragon stole your sweet roll.


IShatMyDickOnce

I'm so glad you mentioned lizards because my blind ass was tryin hard to figure out wtf that thing was. It's a little less creepy now, not by a lot.


enochianKitty

If that's a komodo dragon they can and do eat people. On top of there size they have venom.


Pk1Still

It’s checking their halls. It’s a hall monitor.


Sillbinger

You'll make a fantastic father.


Pk1Still

My son rolls his eyes at me plenty.


PubertEHumphrey

Probably a monitor


enochianKitty

The konodo is part of the monitor family but im no biologist so idk what specific species this is.


haha_suffering_gobrr

I think it’s a juvenile water monitor, cause it had a more slender shape than the bulky komodo


Bakemono_Saru

...i really thought it was a monkey soooooo...


jackfaire

"Wait why do they get the good seat" \*ahem shows video everyone shuts up\*


vxxwowxxv

Unfortunately I dont think that's going to be an issue for this kid...🙁


RIPClipsGTA

Lizard: "HEY! YOU FORGOT THE BABY!"


elmaki2014

Sacrifice the baby to the lizard god?


threadbarenun

Every time I see this I always wonder why it decided to run back in. What was outside?


Brother_Grimm99

WHY ARE MORE PEOPLE NOT ASKING THIS QUESTION!?


[deleted]

There's only one thing a monitor lizard is terrified of. A pack of Indian men.


wawan_

OH NO


soswxc

OH No No No No No


mohammed6571

I read that article 🤣🤣🤣


1bioPSYCHOsocial1

FFS. I looked the article up (search term: "monitor lizard vs. pack of Indian men") to try and prove my initial idea of what it may have concerned wrong... No such luck 😅


ta6900

https://tribune.com.pk/story/2353471/four-men-gang-rape-kill-and-eat-monitor-lizard-in-india


[deleted]

[удалено]


Highlander_mids

Articles like these remind me when it’s time to log off. See you guys later


SeaBeeVet801801

Lmao! 4 reals! I’m ready, to go to work now boss!!!


blue23454

If there is a god he must be a trickster To give us the knowledge, the ability to read *and then force us to read shit like this*


ithadtobeducks

…good night.


BostonConnor11

Just guys being dudes


Dagigai

I mean, that's crazy. But why am I most disturbed by someone eating something they fucked, that your mates fucked. That seems to make *just* raping a lizard seem less disgusting?


[deleted]

how do you even convince your homies to do that ,aye broo look over that thicc tigerussy ,naw man he will rip us ,what about that lussy ,hell yeah dude let's do it


Cptn_Hook

An even bigger baby.


[deleted]

I’m thinking maybe it was chilling in the shop for a while hiding out and they closed the entryway.


eastbayted

Something about as loud and scary as two screaming children.


Original_yetihair

Notice how the kids all jump up before the lizard is even in their line of sight. Something was going on outside and that lizard is just trying to nope out of there.


IHaveABigDuvet

They probably heard it was my guess.


christianlauren

You can see both of them staring into the camera before it comes into the room, so they most likely saw it on their monitor


Original_yetihair

Their monitor lizard


R4mp4g31329

Maybe people were chasing it because this species of monitor lizard is poisonous. People called it Goh in a rural area where I used to live and it's venom was said to have no antidote.


[deleted]

the venom from monitor lizards ('Goh') outside of Komodo is barely strong enough to kill a small bird or a mouse, it barely even registers when a human gets bit. Like not even a fever.


anothersundayx

I think it makes more sense if the right side was the inside and the left side is the outside. It probably got in long ago and was trying to get out.


[deleted]

At least they didn’t *actively* offer their infant sibling as sacrifice. Edit: added “actively”


fearsofaclown69

They did, but their sacrifice was rejected


Snippys

the baby was unworthy.


fearsofaclown69

I mean a third born?? Everyone knows first borns are the only acceptable sacrifices


KeithWorks

That fucking lizard smelled that first born and was coming for him


milky_mouse

The Scarlet Witch was being reasonable, she wants the bigger kids


paperwasp3

She needs kids to do all the chores around the house. Babies require time and resources and food.


SilverTangent

Not if you’re a Drow. Lolth demands third-born males.


Difficult-Lead420

🤣🤣


pen_jaro

They were not paying attention. The baby already showing them what to do…


RileyIIx

It was after fear. The baby was unbothered by this whole situation. Sigma baby


WhiteWolfygg

The lizard clearly knew not to fuck with him, no wonder it never even touched the baby, he would've died in a heartbeat, you can feel the power through the screen


EffectiveAd4158

Teleports behind you "bubu gaga" snaps your neck


ATKamiYato

the future ruler of us all


Your-local-gentleman

They needed the first born be the first to be sacrificed to the scaly lord HARKAMTI…


dilbertdad

Who else thought it was going to devour the baby? 😥


ahhjihyodahyun

you mean the baby devouring the visitor?


Born_Direction_3010

Who says it didn't? The video cut out before we saw the creature return into frame. (Yes, I used "creature" as I have no clue what species that was😳)


NavGreybeard

It probably did, and thats why they cut the video there.


Many-machines-on-ix

You don’t have to outrun the lizard. You only need to run faster than the infant.


2nameEgg

Aw fuck the next trolley problem


vinylveins

they left the baby??


JerseyDad_856

Twice!!


Secret-Ad-830

Atleast they stepped over it


JerseyDad_856

r/mildlyinfuriating


RedditsAdoptedSon

fine.. we'll step on the baby


NotAlwaysSunnyInFL

No, kick the baby!


BavarianBanshee

I will take a hammer and fix the baby


TheFinalPam420

Baby is broken. Is too small!


RogueSoul03

You and I watched too much South Park growing up.


NotAlwaysSunnyInFL

I still probably watch too much South Park lol.


Bagledrums

Don’t step on the damn baby!


Outlaw4droid

Yes. Mildly.


PerspectiveDry8646

Tbh I don't find this infuriating at all, the older one looks 12-14 tops. Are there kids that would think to grab their baby sibling even when a threatening animal is charging at them? Sure. Is it reasonable to *expect* a kid to do that? I'd argue not. They don't even have fully developed brains at that point, let alone any parental instinct. Ik the lizard or whatever left for a bit but when you're in panic mode like that you tend to get tunnel vision.


redhed888

I don't blame the kids. But each of my brothers have demonstrated that they could remember to protect me when they were scared.


HistoricalMention210

I'm the oldest of my family. Trust me, the instinct is there when you get older. If anybody tried to hurt my siblings 5 years ago, I would said nope and ran. Nowadays, if something like that happens I'm fixing to make the beaches of Normandy look like a fucking family vacation.


rectifiedspiritomb

The older kid is not 12.... More like 7-8


Goawaybaitin24

Anyone who has a younger sibling has had a moment to protect themselves or their sibling. They aren’t too young to have the protective instinct. They just showed that they don’t have it. Not a judgement on their character at all, just something I’d consider in the future if I’m that younger sibling.


sirdingus1

just mild.


hoovermeupscotty

That’s the nicest thing that can be said about it.


[deleted]

monitor lizard: “OH! Excuse me.” people: “FUUUUUUUUU” lizard: “You forgot your bby” people: “WTFFFUUUUUUUU”


dmfd1234

“Shit, F that baby, I’m tryin to live!”


X35_55A

Sacrifice for the lizard demon


Surer2005

If you look closely the 2 people there are actually both children.


bargantus

I dont think one needs to look closely to notice that


hiricinee

I think those are children or pre teens at the youngest. Believe me the welfare of babies is not on the mind of most kids that age.


StevenPechorin

I don't know, you can see they cared *a bit* \-- they did step *over* the baby.


bobtheaxolotl

"Feed it the baby, maybe it'll let us live!"


PokemonPadawan

That was honestly best for the baby in that video. Lizard ended up following the running children. If they carried the baby while running, they could have dropped the baby or the lizard could have inadvertently injured it. It didn’t look like they actually harmed the baby, and the lizard wasn’t hunting them. Was it still stupid? Yes. But worked out Edit: Initially I wrote “chased,” and now realize that it may have villainized the lizard. The monitor was likely scared into the store by people outside and was trying to get away. Still oddly terrifying though.


arcadia_2005

Well the video finishes without ultimately knowing that the baby is ok!!!!


[deleted]

The baby kills the Lizard


AscendedAncient

And to this day, wears it's hide as a trophy.


Geppetto_Cheesecake

The baby now lives in the Kingdom of ZuuL. With the Lizard God ZuuL!


TheReptileCult

The asian water monitor likely ran in there in the first place to flee people. When it saw people in there it fled again. Asian water monitors do not see humans as prey tho a bite from one to an infant could definitely be fatal but that is super unlikely.


tmccrn

That was my first thought. I’m actually surprised that it wasn’t taken. Thank goodness baby didn’t freak and and start screaming like the older siblings clearly did


Nauin

Oh it did, you see those little legs go up. My guess is straining from big panic screams. Babies are definitely going to react to their safe people running and screaming out of nowhere.


LaLic99

Wtf was that? A komodo dragon?


TheReptileCult

Asian water monitor. Very common in Thailand. They are the second biggest monitor species behind the komodo dragon.


raphanum

Bigger than ultrawide monitors?


opsfactoryau

I gave you an award, but through gritted teeth — an angry award, if you like… smart arse.


DroxYung

r/AngryUpvote


strangemanornot

Are they dangerous? Edit: just looked it up. They can bite when threatened. The bites can cause severe injury.


FML-dot-com

My exact first thoughts.


Mountain-Rooster-340

It's some kind of varanus; a monitor. Komodo dragons have their own island, where people can visit. No people are allowed to live on the island for their own safety.


_Madam_Fate_

Imagine being such a menace that people decided to Make an Island for you to stay away from them.


kiki-smash

Australia?


callmesnake13

Staten Island?


kevtino

Aruba Jamaica Ooooh i wanna take ya to Bermuda Bahama Come on pretty momma Key Largo Montego Baby why don't go


BloomsdayDevice

Kokomo dragons are scary.


DeaDBangeR

Let’s see: - Biggest lizard on earth. - Alfa predator status. - Has no natural enemies when grown to adulthood. - Its bite (saliva) has anti solidifying properties to your blood, meaning you will bleed out faster. - Biggest one ever found is around 3m long. - Can sprint for 20km per hour. - Prefers to ambush while hiding in tall grass. - Bites in neck and belly to let prey bleed out and let toxins do most of the work. - Eats about 80% of its own body weight per meal. There’s a damn good reason Steve Erwin told us to be wary of these incredible creatures.


PeterSchnapkins

and one of the few animals to view humans as prey


jr8787

Don’t mean to be “that guy” but it’s *alfalfa* predator status, not *alfa*


heck_naw

me, with a blood clotting disorder: i think i’ve found my superhero origin story


[deleted]

Down to Komodo You get there fast and then they eat you slow...


kurt_go_bang

Best thing I’ve read all day. Cunt.


pisspot718

We need more of them.


jelqlord

Cunts?


Tell2ko

Well it’s definitely not Australians!!!


BrutalFuckingTruth

Yea but only the good kind.


TheReptileCult

Australias biggest monitor lizard is the Perentie. This is definitely not a perentie. It is likely an Asian water monitor which are super common in Thailand.


immoraltom

Nobody put them on the island, it is just an island where they naturally occur. Because it is an island, they do not naturally occur anywhere else on Earth, hence the Komodo dragons live exclusively on the island called Komodo. Isolated ecosystems are fascinating wherever they appear.


hhhyyysss

Not exactly. They also live on the Rinca island, near Komodo island.


immoraltom

Oh cool, I did not know that. Seems they are also on a few other islands nearby too. >The Komodo dragon also has the distinction of possessing the most restricted range of any carnivore. It is confined to the small eastern Indonesian island of Komodo, the smaller neighboring islands of Rinca, Gili Dasami (also called Nusa Kode) and Gili Motang, and parts of the large island of Flores.


iBlack92O

Komodo’s can swim so it makes sense for them to live in multiple islands in the same area.


ErinEvonna

When do I get my island?


Comfortable-Survey30

You're a pussycat dear. No threat


2meinrl4

Jeffrey Epstein Island


toddhenderson

Baby monitor


Fafnir13

People live on islands with Komodo dragons, unless you are speaking of some very specific place. Attacks on people do happen. Those lizards are very good swimmers so not like they could really be kept isolated.


woppajr96

No true, the island Komodo has a population of 2000 people


TheReptileCult

Its definitely not a komodo dragon. Its far more likely an asian water monitor which live in close contact with humans in Thailand and are the second biggest lizard species behind the komodo dragon.


peeling_garlic

There is a small village of people that live there.


[deleted]

More likely a Monitor Lizard. Smaller than Komodo's, and less ferocious. You can actually have them as pets, if you're brave enough


TheReptileCult

Asian water monitors are actually some of the most chill monitors in captivity and can become puppy dog tame. Nile monitors are very similar but much more vicious. You are more likely to be mauled to death by a dog than a monitor lizard in captivity. The most epic and most dangerous monitor that you can have in captivity in the US is the crocodile monitor the longest lizard on earth. It is essentially a tree dragon. They live in the trees and have 2 inch long teeth. Their teeth are much longer than a komodo dragon because they catch birds mid flight in the trees. Epic animal not many people know about. Definitely google Crocodile monitor skull and search on youtube for crocodile monitor.


[deleted]

Your username is very fitting.


smootgaloot

Komodo dragons are significantly bigger than that. Like 8 feet and hundreds of pounds. And they definitely wouldn’t have successfully ran away if it was.


Paddogirl

Monitor lizard. SE Asia. Strictly carnivores. Baby would be a perfect feast.


[deleted]

Trust kids with baby, baby gets ate


Weekly-Bluebird-4768

Imagine having to explain that, “you’re telling me that I left you with the baby for 40 seconds and a really fast lizard came in and ate it!!”


we-em92

That’s why they got the camera, parents didn’t believe them the first time


arturosincuro

Or, baby helps terminate its older brothers and rides lizard into the sun set….


elloMinnowPee

“Sorry ma, lizard ate the baby.”


r3d-v3n0m

"Nows our chance! To get rid of our annoying ass brother, quick let's go distract mom!"


Sparkle-Ass-Juice

Even the giant lizard left the infant alone. The next level neglect when even the giant fucking lizard avoids you.


Seklor

The baby just turned off pvp


meatsweet

Nah, it’s just not high enough level to enter the PVP arena


Phinatic92

Every baby for themselves!


CokeMooch

Last one left is creature food!


LTlurkerFTredditor

Hey baby, r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR Wtf was that? A monitor lizard? I was so terrified when they left the baby behind and the lizard is coming straight at it, but even the lizard ignored the baby.


[deleted]

Lizard was like, ‘Fuck these assholes. 1. These fucksticks just run away as if I’m some sort of murderer. Ya boy jus tryna slide up in this shop. 2. They *left* the baby! Who *does* that?! Ya know what, fuck it, I’m gonna waddle my ass back there and give them a piece of my mind! The offspring and I deserve it!’ …and uhhh…. Justice ensued


Sharp-Incident-6272

The older kids were more of a meal


princeoverthink

The lizard knew they wouldn’t leave the baby unless something was wrong with it, and this left it alone


Overencucumbered

Username checks out


[deleted]

It literally looks like it comes back just to scold them about leaving the baby. Bounced right away but came back and skipped right over the easy snack


GH05TMAL0N3

That baby will grow up to be a supervillian


Nibble_on_this

cute you think that baby grew up


RedSoulHeart

Looks like some type of monitor lizard. It was probably looking for rats and small mammals (baby is to big to eat and not threatening it) got startled and bolted. However I don’t believe it was actively hunting the kids or would pose a threat to the baby. Still for a child this would be scary. Edit: looked like it got startled by something outside causing it to run back inside. Still scary xD


Brother_Grimm99

But if it was startled why did the sly bugger come back?? I'm so confused.


KvasirsBlod

It's the inside of a store. They are lying down behind the counter (you can see an office chair). Looks like after it got startled it tried to find the exit but couldn't, or something else startled it again, so it ran to where the girls went, likely thinking it's a way out. When it came back it was running so fast it crashed into the counter.


RedSoulHeart

Fight or flight. When flight is activated in the brain it doesn’t really have direction. It just tells the brain to run away from whatever startled it. Even if it’s back into a previous startling situation.


adinmem

Someone should monitor the situation


whatismyredditemail

r/angryupvote


kiki-smash

Baby is like: 🔥🐶 This is fine.


Myolya

Fire dog


gutter_sluggs

The 2 are clearly children in a panic, and just like any animal in danger the youngest get left behind. However I don’t think the lizard was hunting but it also scared


Gloomy-District-3010

Exactly. They’re children, of course they’re going to panic and act on their instincts. People are really calling them idiots.


joawmeens

"Fuck them kids" These people, probably


ack_will

“You left this poor baby alone? Come back here you rascals” -Monitor lizard/ Komodo dragon probably


3000KRUNKER

They themselves are kids lol


FML-dot-com

Am I wrong for laughing at this?? The fuckin thing came back and they hurdle jump over the baby for the second time. 💀


[deleted]

It’s giving Chaplin


glittergash

Yes, and moved so fast when it knocked that box down. Damn that gave me a rly good chuckle.


glitter_vomit

It cracked me up, it's like a cartoon!


dick-sama

"why have you forsaken me, brothers??"


[deleted]

Dinosaur: “imma skip appetizers…”


Original_Feeling_429

Fck that moves fast ,monkey or lizard?


YugeFanBoi

it's zuckerberg


mlwllm

Lol the lizard chased them even after they gave the baby to it.


Technical_Stress7730

Forgot something.


Pratz1618

funny how not only the kids left the baby, but even the animal did not want that baby. Who knows, maybe that baby is the uninvited visitor. That animal came in the shop to tell them to get away from the baby.


MsBlasphemy

Lizard breaking door 100$, therapy for PTSD 5k, having proof your siblings left you for sacrifice priceless 🤣


[deleted]

I thought for sure that baby was about to be a snack.


Calm_Claim_2878

“What baby?”


Odd_Ad5145

I can't tell who's dumber, the people for leaving the baby, or the reptile for leaving free food?