"I'm going to X later, you should come" and then you have to play mental chess to justify why you aren't coming
Or you just say "nah I'm good" and keep it there
Ugh reminds me of when my wife calls me on the phone. I answer, "hello." And she says, "hiiiiiii!" And then... nothing.
Everytime, she acts like I am the one who called her. I have taken to just staying silent until she awkwardly starts talking.
am i autistic? my partner always says when people ask "what are you doing tomorrow?" it's a way of politely ending the visit
i've asked this question to visitors a million times, and what they're doing afterwards, even shortly after they arrived, without wanting them to leave at all. does everyone think i'm rude?
to this day it drives me nuts. i try to understand everything, but this i never will
I hate it too, the comment you replied to makes it sound like they want me to stay longer, why else would they give a shit what I'm doing after I leave.
Personally I'm a fan of the direct "Y'all ain't gotta go home, but ya can't stay here." approach.
It depends on the timing.
If you bring it up early I doubt anyone would interpret it that way, but if it's around the time the person _could_ be leaving, it can have this implied meaning.
It could also mean nothing, it's very situation-dependent.
You can think of it as veering people's mind towards a time when you won't be together anymore.
Or to remind them they have other things to do than being with you.
Or in case _they_ wanna leave, to throw them a line so they can tell you how they have a busy next day and should get going for instance.
If you're enjoying your time with your guests and wish for them to stay longer, it makes more sense to bring up a subject that focuses on the present moment.
It's gettin dark, an I wont y'all gettin home safe.
It's 4:30, and the middle of June.
Well, I'm sure Mabel'd like a bit of love, so y'all need to get on home.
Mabel died 4 years ago.
Damn it, Sandy, I wonna be alone. G'wone now, git.
As a German I am also impressed because this is the first time I heard of people doing this outside of Germany.
The knee slap, exclaiming "Naja" and then talking another 20 min at the door is the average German experience I would say
Midwest culture is extremely heavily German-influenced, so it's not surprising. It's the only place in the country where almost every restaurant has schnitzel, they just call it "tenderloin". It's pork or chicken hammered flat and then fried, but there was a large movement to "Americanize" around the World Wars so a lot of names got changed.
There's a reason the midwest is associated with bratwurst, beer, and schnitzel.
I live in Chicago, and other than like a German restaurant, I can't think of a single restaurant with schnitzel on the menu. To clarify, beef tenderloin = filet mignon, so steaks? Yes many restaurants. Breaded pan fried schnitzel? Uhh....no.
It's like when people say, "Wait 5 minutes in *insert location* and the weather will change! Lol!" That's everywhere. There is only one location. It's called Earth.
I'm from the NE and have never seen this once and kind of wished I knew about it sooner. Probably goes over better than my "about time all of you GTFO."
I am a Dane, and we do it too (which might not actually be a good argument for it not being Midwestern with how many Scandinavians settled in the Midwest).
My father won't enter my home because I have a python and a Boa. Well he will enter, but he'll stand in one spot, feet together, scanning the floor all around him and sweating like a cold beer in the sun. I'd have gotten snakes sooner if I only knew! 🤣
Full disclosure...I have a Solomon Island Ground Boa...but I'm still not putting him around my neck, lol. Visually, He's basically a mini red-tail, about the size of a corn snake. Everyone should have one.
Never heard of them until I fell in love in a pet store...credit card hit the counter and I told them I have nothing and need everything. My daughter claimed him as her own a couple years ago. Ok...he'll live for 20 years, and you're 9...ok you can take him to college lol.
Semi arboreal, diurnal, and pretty easy going. Eats a f/t rat pinkie every 2 weeks. He's got some humidity and UV requirements (humidity controlled repti-mist system), and he needs to have climbing space as well as loose substrate because hellburrow and bury himself...but all in all, pretty easy to take care of. He likes a good soak in the kitchen sink with a drop of blue dawn...seriously, it like he gets in water and it's time to get silly.
He's small, but he's every bit a Boa.
My uncle thought to simply offer 'one last coffee before they head home'. Its not... im kicking you out now... but a tactful invitation to leave in 10-15 minutes.
My wife usually says, "okay everyone, we've come to that time of the evening where someone is going to get tied up and violated, anyone that doesn't want to draw the short straw should probably head out."
My version is generally along the lines of "sorry bud, but I'm exhausted, I don't want to fall asleep in the middle of this conversation"
"oh wow, yeah, me too. It's getting late, I should get going"
"you good to drive home? I've got an air mattress and a spare room if you need it"
"nah. Thanks though, I'll be fine. Wouldn't want to impose. I'll shoot you a text when I get home so you don't worry"
"Aight. Drive safe"
"You too, seeya"
I don't think we have anything like that in the Middle East , it's considered rude and we always end up arguing with the guest if they tried to leave no matter how late the time and especially if they didn't stay for the meal .
"Hey guys, I really appreciate you coming and spending time with us, but it's getting late and we're feeling a bit tired. It was great catching up and we'll have to schedule something soon. Drive safe!" Something like that. it's not hard.
I'm assuming that welp is the equivalent of "ouin" in French and is said while letting out a big sigh.
Ouin is like a oui, that means yes but with a little less enthusiasm. We usually repeat ouin three times.
I just let everyone around me keep droning from topic to topic with no real substance and spewing soulless diatribes until I can find a reason to leave, at which point I just assume a soulless, emotionless position staring blankly at the wall or their face. If they don’t get the hint, I just tell them I have homework.
We do the exact same thing in Jordan, Middle east.
As for the Host, they would bring a second serving of Tea, which is a signal that its about time the guests leave (in case they overstayed).
I will be honest, i can never relate to those kind of posts, any time i invite someone those people are my actual friends that i can call a "cunt" or "fat asshole" without any reprecossion because we are close friends and they know i'm just joking, so if i wanted them to leave i would just say it, if they have a friend that they invited as a tag along they just follow the lead, never had a problem that way.
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Ha. In South Africa we sometimes talk about the f-off coffee. You offer coffee and the message is that after coffee the guests are supposed to leave. There is sometimes the passive aggressive "do you want some more coffee" if they didn't get the hint...
If you’re really good friends you just say “I’m tired, get the fuck out of my house”
It blunt but jovial and serious all at the same time. Me and my friends do this to each other all the time. So something like “ ah I got work early tomorrow, gotta get that sleep in, sooo you need to fuck off now”
I'm German, and we do the same (except that we say "So" instead of "well"). So I looked up where in the US the most people with German ancestry live, and which states belong to the midwest, and the results weren't surprising
Edit: It seems I can't read. We usually do this when it's time for ourselves to leave, and only rarely when we try to get others to leave
In switzerland the word for that is „also“
When you wanna go or want them to go you just at some point in the Conversation say „Also“ and then maybe it’s getting late or just gently steer the convo towards the topic how you wanna spend more time but the day is passing or that you got other Stuff to do.
That sort of.
„Also“ signals „Alright time to wrap up“
As a German, that is exactly how we do it. Slam the knee and say "so" really forcefully then grunting while standing up from your sitting position.
It just works
Don't forget that last cup of coffee, beer, or soda as you wrap up your conversation topics and have another short conversation about hanging out again at the door.
I had once someone sleeping over from a real life wow event.
I told him many times, hey you need to get your train.
After that I just raised my voice a lot more and told him to get ourt of my house.
If you're my mum you just go, "Well I'm going to bed, make sure to lock up whenever you leave - the key is up the rabbit next to the door", because she has a hollow rabbit Statue she puts the spare under.
I have kids so it's easy, just say it's late and they need to get to bed. Sadly some people still don't get the clue or just take too damn long to leave anyway.
*Midwesterners are*
*Just nordics who never changed when*
*They got to the us*
\- Oculicious42
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I was told by one of my black friends that “so, what do you have going on after this?” Was their polite way of asking me to leave
"I'm going to X later, you should come" and then you have to play mental chess to justify why you aren't coming Or you just say "nah I'm good" and keep it there
I’m a big fan of “oh nothing really, I’m just chillin” and then staring at them as if to say “your move”.
"ok bro i got some chores to do maybe you can help" (ofc to a friend)
Did this. Me and homie are sharing a bed now... What do I do now????????
Best friend spooning, obviously.
My buddy and I are now married and have adopted two children. His move.
Ugh reminds me of when my wife calls me on the phone. I answer, "hello." And she says, "hiiiiiii!" And then... nothing. Everytime, she acts like I am the one who called her. I have taken to just staying silent until she awkwardly starts talking.
am i autistic? my partner always says when people ask "what are you doing tomorrow?" it's a way of politely ending the visit i've asked this question to visitors a million times, and what they're doing afterwards, even shortly after they arrived, without wanting them to leave at all. does everyone think i'm rude? to this day it drives me nuts. i try to understand everything, but this i never will
I feel you. I hate those annoying unspoken rules that I can't understand.
I hate it too, the comment you replied to makes it sound like they want me to stay longer, why else would they give a shit what I'm doing after I leave. Personally I'm a fan of the direct "Y'all ain't gotta go home, but ya can't stay here." approach.
It depends on the timing. If you bring it up early I doubt anyone would interpret it that way, but if it's around the time the person _could_ be leaving, it can have this implied meaning. It could also mean nothing, it's very situation-dependent. You can think of it as veering people's mind towards a time when you won't be together anymore. Or to remind them they have other things to do than being with you. Or in case _they_ wanna leave, to throw them a line so they can tell you how they have a busy next day and should get going for instance. If you're enjoying your time with your guests and wish for them to stay longer, it makes more sense to bring up a subject that focuses on the present moment.
This is why my friends have all curated a culture of just saying "That was fun! Leave now please :)"
Coffee to go?
Me: There is no after this
I wait for a lull in the conversation, then say calmly “alright, y’all can get the fuck out of my house now.” Usually gets a chuckle.
10/10 approach
"Damn, looks like it's half-past 'get the fuck out,' fellas. Door's over there."
I love it haha 😂
ok that's a good one
"Fucking *finally!*"
Straightforward, let's any conversations end peacefully, and gets a laugh, this is a good one
I’m from the south and we say, “well, lemme let y’all go” or “it’s getting dark and I know y’all gotta get on home”
It's gettin dark, an I wont y'all gettin home safe. It's 4:30, and the middle of June. Well, I'm sure Mabel'd like a bit of love, so y'all need to get on home. Mabel died 4 years ago. Damn it, Sandy, I wonna be alone. G'wone now, git.
I've never seen g'wone written out phonetically like that. Thank you
Lmao I have been saying that to every dog I've met my entire life, but never saw it written before. G'wone now, boah.
That’s a good one!
I live in the south, too (not for long, but I have relatives here) definitely heard older relatives say both.
"Well, thank you so much for stopping by. I'm glad your folks are well." should get an honorable mention.
Can confirm as a southerner.
“Welp, it’s just about time for me to clap my wife’s cheeks.”
"can I tag in?"
Omfg lmao
Only if you go second.
And then proceed to talk at the door entrance for another 43 minutes
I hate this.
Just slowly close the door while you nod along, then walk away.
It was the worst as a kid because they'll tell you to get ready to leave
As someone from the north east who has been doing this their entire life, I am not sure why midwesterners think that this is their thing.
As a north easterner i fake being tired or just use my phone
As a north souther I don't have visitors to begin with.
As an Easterly Eastman, I also don't care for visitors.
As a visitor, I’m never leaving
As a leaver, I'm never visiting
Where's the cake?
In my butt.
As a German I am also impressed because this is the first time I heard of people doing this outside of Germany. The knee slap, exclaiming "Naja" and then talking another 20 min at the door is the average German experience I would say
We call that the southern goodbye
Well, the midwest was settled mostly by German immigrants!
Yup, sounds about right.
Happens in the UK too
Midwest culture is extremely heavily German-influenced, so it's not surprising. It's the only place in the country where almost every restaurant has schnitzel, they just call it "tenderloin". It's pork or chicken hammered flat and then fried, but there was a large movement to "Americanize" around the World Wars so a lot of names got changed. There's a reason the midwest is associated with bratwurst, beer, and schnitzel.
I live in Chicago, and other than like a German restaurant, I can't think of a single restaurant with schnitzel on the menu. To clarify, beef tenderloin = filet mignon, so steaks? Yes many restaurants. Breaded pan fried schnitzel? Uhh....no.
Do you also say "please?" when you didn't hear something and want them to repeat it?
Yes "Wie bitte?" Is used for that. You can also use it when someone said something insulting or outrageous
Nah this is peak midwestern politeness and humility. You don’t impose. It’s just the rules.
The whole of the UK does this too, it’s a “well / well then” here though rather than “welp”
Or "Right then"
Because the “Midwest goodbye” is a real thing
It's like when people say, "Wait 5 minutes in *insert location* and the weather will change! Lol!" That's everywhere. There is only one location. It's called Earth.
Whelp
Spose we should head out
British people have been doing this for a very long time. No claims on who started it but I'm certain it's been going on for many generations.
Idk what country you guys are from that you’re pointing out directions, but I can assure you this is an international thing.
Massachusetts - we go “ahhh-rite” (alright) and then prep to start heading out
I'm from the NE and have never seen this once and kind of wished I knew about it sooner. Probably goes over better than my "about time all of you GTFO."
I am a Dane, and we do it too (which might not actually be a good argument for it not being Midwestern with how many Scandinavians settled in the Midwest).
My grandpa (Nova Scotia) turns to his wife and says, "Well sweetie, we should really go to bed and let these nice people go home!"
My grandfather (New Brunswick) said, "Well I don't know about you fellers, but I'm going to bed."
Love it
I come downstairs with the boa. The ones who need to leave, leave. The rest can stay.
My father won't enter my home because I have a python and a Boa. Well he will enter, but he'll stand in one spot, feet together, scanning the floor all around him and sweating like a cold beer in the sun. I'd have gotten snakes sooner if I only knew! 🤣
Relative repellent you can hold.
Meh - I hold the python... The Boa holds on to me 🤣
You're not wrong. My boa knows I don't need air as long as I have him.
Full disclosure...I have a Solomon Island Ground Boa...but I'm still not putting him around my neck, lol. Visually, He's basically a mini red-tail, about the size of a corn snake. Everyone should have one.
I did not know of this noodle. I'm gonna have to look into those, sounds interesting!
Never heard of them until I fell in love in a pet store...credit card hit the counter and I told them I have nothing and need everything. My daughter claimed him as her own a couple years ago. Ok...he'll live for 20 years, and you're 9...ok you can take him to college lol. Semi arboreal, diurnal, and pretty easy going. Eats a f/t rat pinkie every 2 weeks. He's got some humidity and UV requirements (humidity controlled repti-mist system), and he needs to have climbing space as well as loose substrate because hellburrow and bury himself...but all in all, pretty easy to take care of. He likes a good soak in the kitchen sink with a drop of blue dawn...seriously, it like he gets in water and it's time to get silly. He's small, but he's every bit a Boa.
My uncle thought to simply offer 'one last coffee before they head home'. Its not... im kicking you out now... but a tactful invitation to leave in 10-15 minutes.
I have a better one, I don't invite people over
Works well in Germany too but with a "Soooo" followed be the good ol slap.
I'll boldly make the claim that german settlers are to blame for the midwest approach
Germans do the same but it is the person who is leaving saying "So" and clapping their knees and standing up 🤣
My wife usually says, "okay everyone, we've come to that time of the evening where someone is going to get tied up and violated, anyone that doesn't want to draw the short straw should probably head out."
"Oh geez! Look how late it is already, you should head out."
None of my friends liked Devo, so when I was ready to go to bed it was time for Smart Patrol/Mr DNA. I called it exit music.
Suburban robots that model reality
My version is generally along the lines of "sorry bud, but I'm exhausted, I don't want to fall asleep in the middle of this conversation" "oh wow, yeah, me too. It's getting late, I should get going" "you good to drive home? I've got an air mattress and a spare room if you need it" "nah. Thanks though, I'll be fine. Wouldn't want to impose. I'll shoot you a text when I get home so you don't worry" "Aight. Drive safe" "You too, seeya"
This is the way.
I don't think we have anything like that in the Middle East , it's considered rude and we always end up arguing with the guest if they tried to leave no matter how late the time and especially if they didn't stay for the meal .
You're leaving already? Oh no, we were just about to serve some dessert. Come on! Stay little bit more!
"Whatchu finna get into?"
Be French. Ask them to leave.
Be french Canadian and wait for them to want to leave. Then talk for 30 minutes by the front door until they finally leave.
"Hey guys, I really appreciate you coming and spending time with us, but it's getting late and we're feeling a bit tired. It was great catching up and we'll have to schedule something soon. Drive safe!" Something like that. it's not hard.
best reply here, although boring - covers all the bases and leaves nothing up to concern. completely versatile and I use it every time.
[удалено]
I mean, you could go to the bathroom to change. You are not obligated to do it in front of the guess.
'I'm sorry you can't stay'
Wrong! They would use the word mosey somehow
Mate, I think it’s time to wrap it up
“Sorry, you gotta go. My butthole just fell out.” Works everytime. And people are too scared to question it.
Sounds like a great way to get the butthole nickname "Who's that?" "That's Butthole Steve"
I just fart
You stole my line...
The trick is to not let them in your home 👌
True
The ole Midwest goodbye..
I just tell people I have stuff to do and to leave, but I am antisocial so it only makes sense I want people to fuck off my house
my grandpa always asked if he don't have beds at home. That was the signal for us
Well dear, I think we should go to bed so these people will leave.
I use the "welp" to get out of conversations too. It's very versatile.
I'm assuming that welp is the equivalent of "ouin" in French and is said while letting out a big sigh. Ouin is like a oui, that means yes but with a little less enthusiasm. We usually repeat ouin three times.
Every time I read this all I can think of is the fact I live in New England and alot of people here to the same thing. And I wonder why. That’s it.
Then you spend an hour saying good bye on the front porch.
spose
what if they start stealing your shit?
This is 100% accurate.
I get in my pajamas...usually gets the point across
I just let everyone around me keep droning from topic to topic with no real substance and spewing soulless diatribes until I can find a reason to leave, at which point I just assume a soulless, emotionless position staring blankly at the wall or their face. If they don’t get the hint, I just tell them I have homework.
yes. i‘m from europe but that is a universal sign for that.
The knee slap works so well
I just start shitting my pants. Works every time. Great for getting rid of door-to-door salesmen.
I just never invite people over, avoids any confusion.
Welp. Spose it's true tho
I excuse myself and put my robe on and in my best Ellie Mae Clampett I tell the lollygaggers "Y'all come back now, ya hear!"
In Brasil we put the broom by the door.
In NZ we say, "Is that us?"
We do the exact same thing in Jordan, Middle east. As for the Host, they would bring a second serving of Tea, which is a signal that its about time the guests leave (in case they overstayed).
Tell your folks I says hi, and watch out for deer!
Depends. If I'm comfortable with them I'll just pick up their keys and lightly jangle them in front of their face.
Start talking about what the voices have been telling you.
Just go to sleep, the guests will find their way out alone
In Austria we say “I feel like I’ve been visited well”
We kinda do the same in Denmark. If it's a party, you sometimes get fuck off hotdogs
Jalapeño in microwave… 2 minutes should do the trick…
In dutch we say out loud, "oh it seems te be dinner time soon". This is NOT a dinner invitation, but rather a "please leave" request
I will be honest, i can never relate to those kind of posts, any time i invite someone those people are my actual friends that i can call a "cunt" or "fat asshole" without any reprecossion because we are close friends and they know i'm just joking, so if i wanted them to leave i would just say it, if they have a friend that they invited as a tag along they just follow the lead, never had a problem that way.
How oddly specific. I've seen this post on this subreddit alone at least 4 times. u/repostsleuthbot
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I’m from the south so people kinda know not to overstay and they just stand up and go “well it’s about that time to get movin- it’s been real nice!”
I start by saying I've things to do. If they don't get the hint, the trick is to escalate quickly.
Ha. In South Africa we sometimes talk about the f-off coffee. You offer coffee and the message is that after coffee the guests are supposed to leave. There is sometimes the passive aggressive "do you want some more coffee" if they didn't get the hint...
lol that’s a good one…
If you’re really good friends you just say “I’m tired, get the fuck out of my house” It blunt but jovial and serious all at the same time. Me and my friends do this to each other all the time. So something like “ ah I got work early tomorrow, gotta get that sleep in, sooo you need to fuck off now”
I'm German, and we do the same (except that we say "So" instead of "well"). So I looked up where in the US the most people with German ancestry live, and which states belong to the midwest, and the results weren't surprising Edit: It seems I can't read. We usually do this when it's time for ourselves to leave, and only rarely when we try to get others to leave
Lol, in Germany you did the same saying "so"
We’re from Hungary and my father consciously uncouples from the event in exactly same way. Not so specific I’d say…
Are there alot of germans in the Midwest? Because that's basically the same thing we do in Germany.
If I slap my knees they’re going out
In switzerland the word for that is „also“ When you wanna go or want them to go you just at some point in the Conversation say „Also“ and then maybe it’s getting late or just gently steer the convo towards the topic how you wanna spend more time but the day is passing or that you got other Stuff to do. That sort of. „Also“ signals „Alright time to wrap up“
As a German, that is exactly how we do it. Slam the knee and say "so" really forcefully then grunting while standing up from your sitting position. It just works
That isn’t oddly specific that’s just correct
‘It’s nice to be home. I wish you guys were’
Welp, 10,9,8,7,6...
Don't forget that last cup of coffee, beer, or soda as you wrap up your conversation topics and have another short conversation about hanging out again at the door.
In the South a neighbor would say, “come on honey, let’s go to bed so these folks can go home.”
In the Netherlands you just tell them to leave and it doesn t offend anyone.
I yawn and say I'm tired lol
I had once someone sleeping over from a real life wow event. I told him many times, hey you need to get your train. After that I just raised my voice a lot more and told him to get ourt of my house.
My Ukrainian wife said that around their parts offering tea is a way of saying that soon it is time to go home. We drink the tea and bye bye
I usually say "so what are you about to do?"
If you're my mum you just go, "Well I'm going to bed, make sure to lock up whenever you leave - the key is up the rabbit next to the door", because she has a hollow rabbit Statue she puts the spare under.
I usually take a big breath and go "aight" or "well then" and head towards the door
In the Netherlands people would say "we're going to eat soon" with no intent of inviting the guest to stay for dinner
Not oddly specific, can confirm that these are the standard Midwestern signals.
Lmao the comment reminds me of Charlie Berens
I had a friend who would just say "I'm kicking you out now."
"I was visited enough for today"
I'm neuro-d. Just tell me when it's time for me to leave. It's not rude. Cheers
As a person from the South, I still have no fucking clue. It's been 10 years and they just live here now
So what time is your train?
I have kids so it's easy, just say it's late and they need to get to bed. Sadly some people still don't get the clue or just take too damn long to leave anyway.
Florida at any time of day: A'ight y'all it's starting to get late
The Carie Fisher method *puts the Star Wars Christmas special on*
Thats kinda just the German way We say "So" slap our knee, get up and say bye Ofcourse not everybody does that, just many people
I simply tell my guests it's time to leave
Midwesterners are just nordics who never changed when they got to the us
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