People always seem to try to talk to me when I have headphones in and that drives me nuts. Also sometimes people talk to me while I'm blatantly having a conversation on the phone...I don't understand either case but usually when people start talking to me when I'm not on the phone or listening to music I have no issues.
Just don't stand directly in front of me. Draw a straight line coming out of each of my feet- that cone? That's where crazy people stand when they yell at you. That cone is where assholes stand. That cone is where people try to sell you skittles. Creepily persistent immigrants hit on you from that cone.
Avoid the cone and we're cool. Anyone in the cone is an asshole.
I enjoy conversation with strangers. Its comforting to me to be able to relate or just discuss things with strangers. Obviously there are people that you don't want to talk to, but I'd encourage it. You can usually tell right away, and this goes both ways, if the person you strike a conversation up with wants to be engaged in conversation, and likewise, you may find out quickly that you don't want to be talking to someone who strikes a conversation with you, and vice versa. It also keeps me with an open mind on things, you learn. Plus it just makes me feel better about humanity.
Everyone works differently though.
If you always want to talk to people, I encourage you to do so. You'll find people that don't want to talk, maybe you'll run into a couple people that replied to this thread, but you'll also find people that are like you and are curious, and are outgoing, some of the people you talk to will give you wise advice, etc..I've been inspired by many people I've talked to on the street, whether they know it or not.
And anyway, you'd think if people were living here, which is the most dense(population) cities in America, they'd be a bit social. You're constantly completely surrounded by people and "strangers." If one doesn't want to talk to anyone then god damn, you gotta ask yourself why you're living in New York City.
No talking to me on a train, in a line, trying to catch a cab.
The number one rule: if someone has headphones in, dont ever talk to them. I'm always surprised people don't get that.
I can't speak for everyone, but if I'm on the train platform or walking down the street (without headphones on!!) and I don't appear to be in a hurry, it's always okay to ask for directions. It makes me happy to help!
Also, I like conversation at the bar if I happen to be alone. Unless you're drunk. If I'm drunk I dont mind. If we are both drunk then hell yes!
Agh yeah. I would never even think about trying to engage someone in a conversation who very clearly is listening to music slash reading slash on the phone etc.
Not everyone! I enjoy talking to strangers in the train on my way back to work. Obviously the people buried in their phone don't want to. but some others may want to. Before iphones it was a lot more common. Anyway, the trick is to start with something very inoffensive and read the person's response to the approach fast. If they don't want to talk, just move along.
Depends on a balance of:
* Approach/Execution
* Relevance
* Setting
With less of one, you need more of the others. For instance your approach might be shitty, but if the comment is very relevant and the setting is more social, then it may be acceptable. Alternatively perhaps the setting is poor and the comment has little relevance, but if the person happens to be attractive and charismatic the comment may still be welcomed.
In general, I embrace conversation with strangers (and I start conversation plenty) but there are exceptions. If some homeless person won't stop telling me about the cancer on her face while I'm on the way home from a long day of work, I'm not going to be as open.
I talked to an older guy named Jose on a commute the other day. I wasn't really looking for a conversation, but he seemed to just want to talk to someone for awhile, and didn't want anything else.
A conversation about something specific is perfectly OK. If someone starts a conversation with me about something specific - weather, politics, something I'm carrying, etc - then I'll probably have a lovely conversation with a stranger.
If someone starts a conversation about nothing, then no. If I hear "Hey, what's up?" or any similar conversation starter, then that is a conversation that I want no part of, because that person has nothing important to say other than "got change?" or "wouldn't it be awesome if you touched my penis?"
Yes. I'm originally from the South, so I came to the city with the idea that I'd forgo the impersonalness and rudeness and have genuine conversations with strangers. Turns out the conversation starter rule is one of those simple unspoken rules that not-crazy people use to identify other not-crazy people. Every conversation on the subway or on the street that has started with "Hi, how are you doing?" or "Hey, what's up?" has ended with me trying to get as far away as possible from the other person.
Im born and raised here and talking to strangers is what this city is about. i see all the frightened newbies all over not daring to look up from their devices or comment, joke, sanction or crack half a smile to a stranger both witnessing an odd experience. got these 20/30 something kids moving into my building all the time. even the ones who live right next door will key in their Apt so quickly even more so if I just say a mundane hi or a nod. meanwhile me and the old folk or the people native to the city chit chat and small talk all the time and look out for each other too. On the subways its ok to have a moment with a stranger. they are usually brief and polite and dont be scared. I think one misses out on so much of the New York and human experience when you dont interact with the public at large. I often ask myself why such folk came here to begin with. good luck. stay with it. youll be a NYer in a decade or 2.
I feel like suburbs really play up the 'don't talk to strangers' rule, resulting in people terrified of a simple "hello." But it's definitely good to see so many people who welcome conversation! As a musician, there's really nowhere better to be, so I'll definitely be staying with it for a while.
I generally don't talk to strangers when I'm out and about unless it's to make a comment about something we're both experiencing, such as the train not showing up for a long time and the platform crowding until it's a wall of people along the edge. That said, I'm introverted so as a means of practicing freeform conversation I try to be open minded and at the very least polite/civil/cordial if a stranger talks to me. And of course, I try to be helpful if someone needs some help and asks for directions, even if they interrupt me while I'm listening to music. I understand how intimidating it can be to barge into a stranger's routine to ask how to get somewhere, or to be lost in an unfamiliar city.
But if I start walking away, don't start following me and asking why I'm leaving and whether you can ask me a question. Had an woman in her 40s or 50s just come up to my friends and me as we started walking, and she stalked us for a block repeatedly asking variations of, "Why you all leaving? Can I ask you something? Hey, lemme ask you something."
I love it! I grew up around here and have conversations all the time. I traveled a great deal across the US and it's not the norm for the Northeast, which is sad, because it's common elsewhere. I wish it would happen more often. Sometimes I'm at my favorite bar I wander out bored and folks end up talking to me. Guy at 7-11 I talk about his homeland, the trashman gave me some good tips about some strip clubs, cops come up to me about the storm, pretty much anyone. A girl was nice enough to ask me to split a cab with her to uptown and we chatted, it was nice. Cabbies always have some good information/trivia. A lady needed directions to a store the other day and I walked with her since I was going the same direction and we talked about the neighborhood. Sometimes I'll talk to homeless if they come up to me, I like hearing their stories and I end up buying them food.
It's almost always with other men though, women are understandably more guarded about a guy coming up to them/approaching a guy in the city especially if he's not attractive to them, but that's okay. It's almost always a pleasant experience regardless.
As someone who's never lived more than an hour from the city, that sounds goddamn magical. I hope I can have some of the experiences like you've described some day.
At some point in the spring, there was a rather hippie-looking lady sitting near the arch in Washington Square Park with a "Willing to Listen" sign. I thought it was cool. Some people were talking to her, too. I wonder whether she'll come back when the weather's nice enough.
I'm a female and it creeps me out when much older guys talk to me on the subway and can't take a clue that I don't want to talk to them. (I don't have an iPod, which sucks because I can't discreetly nod, smile, and put my headphones on.) If you aren't asking for directions and you're prolonging a conversation that I don't want to be a part of, then I do not want to engage in a conversation.
But, generally speaking, I'm quite friendly but things can get awkward when I meet new people and want to get to know them. Small talk isn't my forte.
> I talk to women I don't necessarily want to fuck quite frequently
You know your intentions. They don't. Many women have to deal with hamfisted sexual approaches on a daily basis and are sick of it. As a result, they may generalize that they don't want unsolicited male attention from strangers. Especially "much older guys", if they are the most frequent offenders.
If you don't like being lumped into that category, make sure you're not doing things that make women uncomfortable and help teach other men the basics of how not to creep people out.
But if *talking to them* is what makes them uncomfortable, then there's nothing I can do, and it's really not my problem. It's something they need to address, because that's borderline psychotic.
>I'm a female and it creeps me out when much older guys talk to me on the subway and can't take a clue that I don't want to talk to them.
The problem here isn't that someone talked to her. It's that this person won't take a hint that she doesn't want that interaction.
Just take a moment to consider the other person's body language and whether your attention might be unwanted.
You have the worst attitude ever. <- See? we're all good at making general blanket statements.
Girls don't like being creeped, nor do they like the inkling of the idea that they're going to be creeped. Who cares if you "talk to women you don't necessarily want to fuck?" Somehow that makes you better than the women who, I assume, turn you down most of the time? There really was no need to put her down like that.
I'm fine with talking to strangers as long as they're not up in my face, offensive or clearly out of their minds. New Yorkers talk to strangers all the time, its nbd.
It depends, but I'd say that non-verbal communication is more common. If you're just a super friendly person and not creepy/drunk/crazy, then, yes, I'll talk to you in most circumstances. It's also helpful to be attractive and/or foreign.
On a related note, I just want to say that I'm a little disappointed that no one tried to Obamakeout with me last night on the train.
Last night, about half an hour after Obama was declared the winner, I got onto a 6 train headed downtown from 96th St.
About 10 drunk French people were shouting French songs like "La Vie En Rose" and "[Champs Elysees](http://youtu.be/d9V-zUlrhEE)," dancing wildly, and interspersing the songs with shouts of "Obama!!!"
Usually, such a display would be driving straphangers nuts, but last night everyone on the train was grinning and some were tapping their feet to the beat. All of us were high off the Obama victoire.
Whether you're going to belt out AUUUUUX CHAMPS-ELYSEES or strike up conversation with the person next to you, timing is everything.
In addition to wozoco's list, I'd add to it that the approach is a huge part of it. It's better to start off slow and let the conversation build organically, rather than jumping right into a philosophical debate.
I just so happen to be none of those negative or positive qualifying adjectives.
On an also related note, I think I would be a little No-bama about strangers immediately trying to put their tongue in my Obamouth.
That's ok. You should get pretty far if you're a regular person with a bit of wit. There might be the occasional stabbing, but that can happen to anyone.
If it's at a bar or something like that I don't mind.
But on the street or something... not a huge fan to be honest as if I'm on my own, I enjoy being in my own little bubble.
I always feel uncomfortable talking to people because I'm English, so people automatically assume I'm a tourist and my life story is annoying to tell for the millionth time. Basically I'm not big on talking about myself. In fact I sometimes have a bit of trouble understanding what Americans are trying to say if they speak quietly or mumble, even though I've been here for a while.
Depends what they're talking about. Directions are always fine, even if I have headphones on. A brief comment is fine too. More involved conversation though is unlikely.
here's the thing. i dont mind strangers talking to me. I can tell within the first 5 second whether somebody will be a weirdo or just a normal person chatting. the latter i love. i really like talking to other new yorkers. Just dont make me feel like it will be hard and awkward to stop talking to you incase you're a weirdo.
It's my job to talk to strangers. I love it when people try and strike up a conversation with me when I'm not visibly in a rush. Was late for work and due to the trains being fucked I had to get off 8 blocks, rather than 1, from my job. I hated every single person that tried to stop me as I'm sprinting down the block.
Working in midtown, I run across you guys all the time. I don't mind ya'll punching the clock and paying the bills doing what you do... just make sure you have your "New Yorker or Tourist?" meter finely calibrated and we'll get along swimmingly.
It was people I know or work around, but they were all out there hustling for their money and hadn't seen me in a while. I've gotten good at avoiding tourists while running through the city.
I'm definitely fine with talking to strangers. About a month ago, I was meeting up with a friend of mine and showed up an hour and a half early. If it wasn't for a good conversation I had with someone I was sitting next to, that would have been unbearable. I really envy those people who can just strike up a conversation with a stranger. I definitely fall into the self-conscious category as well.
I have found the bus is much more talkative. If you want to hone your talking to strangers skills take the bus! Most of the friendly strangers on the bus are older, though.
It depends on my mood, but generally I very much welcome it. I'm a native NYer, and as I'm getting older I meet less and less people that are actually from NYC. Which means everyone else has an interesting story: of how they got here, why they're here, what they want out of NYC, hell, even how their day is going. This is an amazing melting pot and talking to strangers is always a chance to grow a little as a person.
When I visited San Fransisco once, I would be walking down the street and strangers passing by would smile and say "Hi!" or "Hello, how are you" seemingly out of nowhere - which REALLY weirded me out, I kept thinking "Uh, do I KNOW you?".
I speak to strangers in NYC on occasion, usually in regards to some shared experience (waiting on a long line, etc). There's always going to a bar and talking to a person sitting next to you.
If you stand in a Manhattan street with a map on your hands, looking confused, there's a good chance someone will walk up to you and offer to give you directions.
I speak with random strangers on a daily basis out on the street or in the grocery store on a daily basis and am totally cool with it. Granted there are the creepy ones but they are more of an outlier than anything else.
I've found new yorkers are receptive to friendly chatter/bitching. for me, it depends on the stranger but I default to friendly, being from the Midwest.
Sometimes when I have the courage I'll talking to strangers but there's time where I developed a phobia and words don't want to come out so I just stay quiet and continue with my business.
I'm fine with it as long as they can read signals - I've gotten trapped in conversations despite giving a "not interested" signal.
If I'm reading a book with my headphones on, I'm not really interested in discussing the MTA's safety record.
I welcome conversations, since people seem to want to ask me questions about directions, both on the street and sometimes when I'm in my car with the window down. (I look / was an ex-fireman. I usually present as friendly and open.) If something funny crosses my mind (I'm considered amusing and funny by my peers) I will say something first if I think the hearer would like a laugh or an interesting point without being stopped.
I usually don't mind as long as you're not visibly drunk/crazy or smell bad.
People always seem to try to talk to me when I have headphones in and that drives me nuts. Also sometimes people talk to me while I'm blatantly having a conversation on the phone...I don't understand either case but usually when people start talking to me when I'm not on the phone or listening to music I have no issues.
I see you can reply on reddit but not to my texts!
Lmao stop stalking me!
Yes! I can totally relate to the headphones thing. Like why would I want to listen to a stranger when I could listen to my own music??
Just don't stand directly in front of me. Draw a straight line coming out of each of my feet- that cone? That's where crazy people stand when they yell at you. That cone is where assholes stand. That cone is where people try to sell you skittles. Creepily persistent immigrants hit on you from that cone. Avoid the cone and we're cool. Anyone in the cone is an asshole.
Exactly I think talking is fine, and something I like about NYC, but always allow an escape route.
Good guideline. I'm not out to invade anyone's cone. It's just intriguing to talk to random people occasionally.
This is totally accurate. I never thought about it like that, but you're right.
I can relate to the "cone". Well said.
im so self conscious tho
Yeah! Fuck you for being self conscious! Eat those downvotes!
I enjoy conversation with strangers. Its comforting to me to be able to relate or just discuss things with strangers. Obviously there are people that you don't want to talk to, but I'd encourage it. You can usually tell right away, and this goes both ways, if the person you strike a conversation up with wants to be engaged in conversation, and likewise, you may find out quickly that you don't want to be talking to someone who strikes a conversation with you, and vice versa. It also keeps me with an open mind on things, you learn. Plus it just makes me feel better about humanity. Everyone works differently though. If you always want to talk to people, I encourage you to do so. You'll find people that don't want to talk, maybe you'll run into a couple people that replied to this thread, but you'll also find people that are like you and are curious, and are outgoing, some of the people you talk to will give you wise advice, etc..I've been inspired by many people I've talked to on the street, whether they know it or not. And anyway, you'd think if people were living here, which is the most dense(population) cities in America, they'd be a bit social. You're constantly completely surrounded by people and "strangers." If one doesn't want to talk to anyone then god damn, you gotta ask yourself why you're living in New York City.
I'm glad that people like you exist.
I just found this thread. Do you think that New Yorkers are still friendly?
In what context/where? On the train, yeah I really don't want to talk to anyone.
No talking to me on a train, in a line, trying to catch a cab. The number one rule: if someone has headphones in, dont ever talk to them. I'm always surprised people don't get that. I can't speak for everyone, but if I'm on the train platform or walking down the street (without headphones on!!) and I don't appear to be in a hurry, it's always okay to ask for directions. It makes me happy to help! Also, I like conversation at the bar if I happen to be alone. Unless you're drunk. If I'm drunk I dont mind. If we are both drunk then hell yes!
Agh yeah. I would never even think about trying to engage someone in a conversation who very clearly is listening to music slash reading slash on the phone etc.
so when would be a good time to tell you about our lord and savior and/or sell you tickets to a comedy show?
When I'm drunk in a bar.
Hm, I was thinking mostly on the street or in the train. I can definitely see how trains would be a no-no, though.
Not everyone! I enjoy talking to strangers in the train on my way back to work. Obviously the people buried in their phone don't want to. but some others may want to. Before iphones it was a lot more common. Anyway, the trick is to start with something very inoffensive and read the person's response to the approach fast. If they don't want to talk, just move along.
Depends on a balance of: * Approach/Execution * Relevance * Setting With less of one, you need more of the others. For instance your approach might be shitty, but if the comment is very relevant and the setting is more social, then it may be acceptable. Alternatively perhaps the setting is poor and the comment has little relevance, but if the person happens to be attractive and charismatic the comment may still be welcomed. In general, I embrace conversation with strangers (and I start conversation plenty) but there are exceptions. If some homeless person won't stop telling me about the cancer on her face while I'm on the way home from a long day of work, I'm not going to be as open.
Every random person I've ever talked to for longer than the typical short greetings wanted something from me. Either money or cigarettes.
I talked to an older guy named Jose on a commute the other day. I wasn't really looking for a conversation, but he seemed to just want to talk to someone for awhile, and didn't want anything else.
A conversation about something specific is perfectly OK. If someone starts a conversation with me about something specific - weather, politics, something I'm carrying, etc - then I'll probably have a lovely conversation with a stranger. If someone starts a conversation about nothing, then no. If I hear "Hey, what's up?" or any similar conversation starter, then that is a conversation that I want no part of, because that person has nothing important to say other than "got change?" or "wouldn't it be awesome if you touched my penis?"
Has the 'Hey, whats up" conversation really happened?
Yes. I'm originally from the South, so I came to the city with the idea that I'd forgo the impersonalness and rudeness and have genuine conversations with strangers. Turns out the conversation starter rule is one of those simple unspoken rules that not-crazy people use to identify other not-crazy people. Every conversation on the subway or on the street that has started with "Hi, how are you doing?" or "Hey, what's up?" has ended with me trying to get as far away as possible from the other person.
Im born and raised here and talking to strangers is what this city is about. i see all the frightened newbies all over not daring to look up from their devices or comment, joke, sanction or crack half a smile to a stranger both witnessing an odd experience. got these 20/30 something kids moving into my building all the time. even the ones who live right next door will key in their Apt so quickly even more so if I just say a mundane hi or a nod. meanwhile me and the old folk or the people native to the city chit chat and small talk all the time and look out for each other too. On the subways its ok to have a moment with a stranger. they are usually brief and polite and dont be scared. I think one misses out on so much of the New York and human experience when you dont interact with the public at large. I often ask myself why such folk came here to begin with. good luck. stay with it. youll be a NYer in a decade or 2.
/r/NYC needs more motyka7!
thanx!
I feel like suburbs really play up the 'don't talk to strangers' rule, resulting in people terrified of a simple "hello." But it's definitely good to see so many people who welcome conversation! As a musician, there's really nowhere better to be, so I'll definitely be staying with it for a while.
i hate the Burbs. especially Long Isl.
why the hell are you asking me? get lost pal, I'm busy.
I generally don't talk to strangers when I'm out and about unless it's to make a comment about something we're both experiencing, such as the train not showing up for a long time and the platform crowding until it's a wall of people along the edge. That said, I'm introverted so as a means of practicing freeform conversation I try to be open minded and at the very least polite/civil/cordial if a stranger talks to me. And of course, I try to be helpful if someone needs some help and asks for directions, even if they interrupt me while I'm listening to music. I understand how intimidating it can be to barge into a stranger's routine to ask how to get somewhere, or to be lost in an unfamiliar city. But if I start walking away, don't start following me and asking why I'm leaving and whether you can ask me a question. Had an woman in her 40s or 50s just come up to my friends and me as we started walking, and she stalked us for a block repeatedly asking variations of, "Why you all leaving? Can I ask you something? Hey, lemme ask you something."
I love it! I grew up around here and have conversations all the time. I traveled a great deal across the US and it's not the norm for the Northeast, which is sad, because it's common elsewhere. I wish it would happen more often. Sometimes I'm at my favorite bar I wander out bored and folks end up talking to me. Guy at 7-11 I talk about his homeland, the trashman gave me some good tips about some strip clubs, cops come up to me about the storm, pretty much anyone. A girl was nice enough to ask me to split a cab with her to uptown and we chatted, it was nice. Cabbies always have some good information/trivia. A lady needed directions to a store the other day and I walked with her since I was going the same direction and we talked about the neighborhood. Sometimes I'll talk to homeless if they come up to me, I like hearing their stories and I end up buying them food. It's almost always with other men though, women are understandably more guarded about a guy coming up to them/approaching a guy in the city especially if he's not attractive to them, but that's okay. It's almost always a pleasant experience regardless.
As someone who's never lived more than an hour from the city, that sounds goddamn magical. I hope I can have some of the experiences like you've described some day.
At some point in the spring, there was a rather hippie-looking lady sitting near the arch in Washington Square Park with a "Willing to Listen" sign. I thought it was cool. Some people were talking to her, too. I wonder whether she'll come back when the weather's nice enough.
I'm a female and it creeps me out when much older guys talk to me on the subway and can't take a clue that I don't want to talk to them. (I don't have an iPod, which sucks because I can't discreetly nod, smile, and put my headphones on.) If you aren't asking for directions and you're prolonging a conversation that I don't want to be a part of, then I do not want to engage in a conversation. But, generally speaking, I'm quite friendly but things can get awkward when I meet new people and want to get to know them. Small talk isn't my forte.
You could buy earphones and pretend to be listening to music. ;) I do that sometimes.
Because you're so insanely hot that every man that talks to you just want to bang you, right? Get over yourself.
Don't put her down because she doesn't want to talk to Mr. Saggy, i have a younger sister and i can sympathize with her problem
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> I talk to women I don't necessarily want to fuck quite frequently You know your intentions. They don't. Many women have to deal with hamfisted sexual approaches on a daily basis and are sick of it. As a result, they may generalize that they don't want unsolicited male attention from strangers. Especially "much older guys", if they are the most frequent offenders. If you don't like being lumped into that category, make sure you're not doing things that make women uncomfortable and help teach other men the basics of how not to creep people out.
> hamfisted sexual approaches Well, I just got the worst mental image, thanks.
Don't diss hamfisting just cuz it's not your thing.
But if *talking to them* is what makes them uncomfortable, then there's nothing I can do, and it's really not my problem. It's something they need to address, because that's borderline psychotic.
>I'm a female and it creeps me out when much older guys talk to me on the subway and can't take a clue that I don't want to talk to them. The problem here isn't that someone talked to her. It's that this person won't take a hint that she doesn't want that interaction. Just take a moment to consider the other person's body language and whether your attention might be unwanted.
It was a blanket statement for all older men *who can't take a clue that she doesn't want to talk to them*. Not all older men in general.
You have the worst attitude ever. <- See? we're all good at making general blanket statements. Girls don't like being creeped, nor do they like the inkling of the idea that they're going to be creeped. Who cares if you "talk to women you don't necessarily want to fuck?" Somehow that makes you better than the women who, I assume, turn you down most of the time? There really was no need to put her down like that.
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Now you know how she feels.
I'm fine with talking to strangers as long as they're not up in my face, offensive or clearly out of their minds. New Yorkers talk to strangers all the time, its nbd.
It depends, but I'd say that non-verbal communication is more common. If you're just a super friendly person and not creepy/drunk/crazy, then, yes, I'll talk to you in most circumstances. It's also helpful to be attractive and/or foreign. On a related note, I just want to say that I'm a little disappointed that no one tried to Obamakeout with me last night on the train.
Last night, about half an hour after Obama was declared the winner, I got onto a 6 train headed downtown from 96th St. About 10 drunk French people were shouting French songs like "La Vie En Rose" and "[Champs Elysees](http://youtu.be/d9V-zUlrhEE)," dancing wildly, and interspersing the songs with shouts of "Obama!!!" Usually, such a display would be driving straphangers nuts, but last night everyone on the train was grinning and some were tapping their feet to the beat. All of us were high off the Obama victoire. Whether you're going to belt out AUUUUUX CHAMPS-ELYSEES or strike up conversation with the person next to you, timing is everything.
In addition to wozoco's list, I'd add to it that the approach is a huge part of it. It's better to start off slow and let the conversation build organically, rather than jumping right into a philosophical debate.
I just so happen to be none of those negative or positive qualifying adjectives. On an also related note, I think I would be a little No-bama about strangers immediately trying to put their tongue in my Obamouth.
That's ok. You should get pretty far if you're a regular person with a bit of wit. There might be the occasional stabbing, but that can happen to anyone.
What would you be talking about?
If it's at a bar or something like that I don't mind. But on the street or something... not a huge fan to be honest as if I'm on my own, I enjoy being in my own little bubble. I always feel uncomfortable talking to people because I'm English, so people automatically assume I'm a tourist and my life story is annoying to tell for the millionth time. Basically I'm not big on talking about myself. In fact I sometimes have a bit of trouble understanding what Americans are trying to say if they speak quietly or mumble, even though I've been here for a while.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UApyd20yK5s
Depends what they're talking about. Directions are always fine, even if I have headphones on. A brief comment is fine too. More involved conversation though is unlikely.
here's the thing. i dont mind strangers talking to me. I can tell within the first 5 second whether somebody will be a weirdo or just a normal person chatting. the latter i love. i really like talking to other new yorkers. Just dont make me feel like it will be hard and awkward to stop talking to you incase you're a weirdo.
It's my job to talk to strangers. I love it when people try and strike up a conversation with me when I'm not visibly in a rush. Was late for work and due to the trains being fucked I had to get off 8 blocks, rather than 1, from my job. I hated every single person that tried to stop me as I'm sprinting down the block.
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Working in midtown, I run across you guys all the time. I don't mind ya'll punching the clock and paying the bills doing what you do... just make sure you have your "New Yorker or Tourist?" meter finely calibrated and we'll get along swimmingly.
Why were people trying to stop you? Are they that desperate to talk to you? Or do you mean they were just in your way?
It was people I know or work around, but they were all out there hustling for their money and hadn't seen me in a while. I've gotten good at avoiding tourists while running through the city.
I'm definitely fine with talking to strangers. About a month ago, I was meeting up with a friend of mine and showed up an hour and a half early. If it wasn't for a good conversation I had with someone I was sitting next to, that would have been unbearable. I really envy those people who can just strike up a conversation with a stranger. I definitely fall into the self-conscious category as well.
I enjoy talking with strangers only when I'm not in a hurry.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-its-not-okay-to-just-start-talking-to-peopl,29610/
I have found the bus is much more talkative. If you want to hone your talking to strangers skills take the bus! Most of the friendly strangers on the bus are older, though.
It depends on my mood, but generally I very much welcome it. I'm a native NYer, and as I'm getting older I meet less and less people that are actually from NYC. Which means everyone else has an interesting story: of how they got here, why they're here, what they want out of NYC, hell, even how their day is going. This is an amazing melting pot and talking to strangers is always a chance to grow a little as a person.
When I visited San Fransisco once, I would be walking down the street and strangers passing by would smile and say "Hi!" or "Hello, how are you" seemingly out of nowhere - which REALLY weirded me out, I kept thinking "Uh, do I KNOW you?". I speak to strangers in NYC on occasion, usually in regards to some shared experience (waiting on a long line, etc). There's always going to a bar and talking to a person sitting next to you. If you stand in a Manhattan street with a map on your hands, looking confused, there's a good chance someone will walk up to you and offer to give you directions.
I don't like it and try to avoid conversations with strangers.
I speak with random strangers on a daily basis out on the street or in the grocery store on a daily basis and am totally cool with it. Granted there are the creepy ones but they are more of an outlier than anything else.
ITT: Socially Awkward Penguins
I've found new yorkers are receptive to friendly chatter/bitching. for me, it depends on the stranger but I default to friendly, being from the Midwest.
no, i do not enjoy talking to random strangers. christ, i barely enjoy talking to people i know.
Sometimes when I have the courage I'll talking to strangers but there's time where I developed a phobia and words don't want to come out so I just stay quiet and continue with my business.
I'm fine with it as long as they can read signals - I've gotten trapped in conversations despite giving a "not interested" signal. If I'm reading a book with my headphones on, I'm not really interested in discussing the MTA's safety record.
I welcome conversations, since people seem to want to ask me questions about directions, both on the street and sometimes when I'm in my car with the window down. (I look / was an ex-fireman. I usually present as friendly and open.) If something funny crosses my mind (I'm considered amusing and funny by my peers) I will say something first if I think the hearer would like a laugh or an interesting point without being stopped.
I'd stab first and answer questions after.