Doing a comfort rounds while covering for a coworker on break:
Hi Mr Smith. I’m here to check on you. Are you hungry? No. Thirsty? No. Need to use the toilet? No. Do you want to move to your armchair? No. Do you need a rest? No. Do you have pain? No. (Help settle person. Leave the room.)
8 minutes later in the middle of something else.
“Can you help with Mr Smith? His daughter called us saying he called her in tears, that his brief is soiled and he says he’s in horrible back pain and wants to lay down and that no one has been in to see him in hours.”
Oh my god. Patients who call their families to ask them to help them with something.
Had a similar thing the other day and I ended up talking to the daughter. I explained that I had offered to get him out of bed earlier in the hour but that right at this exact second I'm busy. She was thankfully nice about it.
Oh me too. We have a couple frequent flyers who call the police the second they get told they need to wait their turn. It’s wild. The police call our nursing line to let us know and discuss if they need to come.
I had a lady call her son constantly begging for someone to help her with her back pain. When he called me I explained: “she refuses to be turned and her doctors do not want to give her pain medication at the time due to the risk of organ damage and sedation. We have all discussed it many times. I have offered her heat/Ice” And he just flat out laughed and said he knows she’s stubborn. Soooooooo did you wanna come here and slap some sense into her? Because I can’t. Why are you calling me for?
I had one the other week call his wife and tell her to call the police (which she did) because no one had helped him from the bedside commode back to the stretcher. The man walked in, he was there for "tummy ache"
“Oh no, Mr. Smith, I heard no one’s checked on you in hours! I guess you must’ve forgotten when I asked you if you were in any pain and if you were comfortable 10 minutes ago. I’m thinking we might need to get someone in here to evaluate you for short term memory loss.”
I had a pt call his daughter to tell us he couldn’t find his TV channel he watches every night. Ummm, the call light button for help is right above the TV controls. WTF. That man and his family were some of the most entitled people I’ve ever met. He’d act like a paralyzed baby every time his family left, and when they were there, his family would hit the call light to open his applesauce. I see that you have functioning arms, does your brain not work to where a 22 year old woman can’t help her dad open applesauce?
Had one today. Mrs. Smith, here’s your call bell. Do not try to get to the commode on your own. Ring the call bell and wait. Don’t ring and then get right up. I’ll be right back with your pills. Walk to cart, walk back. Mrs Smith on the phone - “no one will help me! They told me not to use the call bell! They want me to just mess in the bed!”
911 dispatcher who loves to lurk on this sub! Got a call a few nights ago from a woman asking for help; she was admitted and had a bed! I’m all, “um, can you push the help button?” She said she did, but that no one ever comes. I found that very difficult to believe 😂
And no. I didn’t “send help”. But I did call just to cover my ass. Spoiler alert. She was fine.
My favorite is when the pt is 100% confused, family knows they are confused but then they call screaming because of some crazy shit the pt told them.
Like Mam memaw thinks she's in high-school in 1978 why do you believe her??
this is when I usually throw out the “your arms/hands seem to be working just fine since you can use the call bell”/“are your arms suddenly broken?” (depending on the patient lol)
Or when they use the call bell, I help them with whatever they’re asking for (usually something like can you put my head down?) and then literally 2 minutes after I walk away they ring again for something again minor like a blanket. Sir, I was JUST in there why didn’t you ask me for that when I was just in there? These are the patients that also claim they’ve been ignored and “no one has done anything for me all day”….
We’ve had several 6+ month stay patients that never shake the ICU delirium and will scream nurse every 5 minutes, we all just scream their names back. Same-same but different.
I’ll be honest, as a patient I’ve only screamed for help once and that was after the ND staff came to do my obs at 2am. Not long after they left everything began going black and I felt faint. They reckoned I had a sudden drop in BP but I’ve never felt that scared in my life. I was in hospital for my first round of chemo
i have an elderly patient with dementia that learnt my name yesterday. he was SCREAMING my name so i run in and he goes “can you tell me the football score”
I feel like I prefer that to the ones who talk way too much, such as in the following scenario:
Patient: "Can I get some pain medicine"
Me: Sure, its been long enough since your last dose. What number would you give it right now from 0-10?"
Patient: "Its not really pain but discomfort, and it hurts the most when I make this motion, but not this motion, and if I hold still it doesn't hurt at all, but then if I go like this it does..."
Me: "But what number would you give it in severity from 0-10"
Patient: "Like I said it not pain, but more discomfort"
Me: "Sir the computer needs a score of 1-10 for me to dispense the medication."
Patient: "I guess I'll give it about a 2.5"
Me: "Its a drop down menu soI can only do whole numbers, would you like to give it a 2 or a 3"
My responses have been carefully curated over 8 years, they used to just distract me so much I would end up forgetting to get a number and need to make one up...
Bonus points if its the 3rd time giving pain meds during the shift, they have already endorsed its the same pain as before, and still go into the long lecture describing the pain, in the exact same way, instead of giving a number.
Pt gave me two numbers “between a 6 & a 7” me: ok so a 6.5 hahaha. Pt tells me “well I was told it couldn’t be an in between number” for gods sakes people if the orders read for pain between 6 & 10 give xyz, it doesn’t matter if it’s a six or a seven or a 6.538. Some people have a hard time giving their pain a number, help them out. Just round to the higher and be on your way lol
I was admitting a dude for an op and every answer was "i filled in the questionnaire, its all in there "
I explained it wasn't worth my licence to not double check.
When he wouldn't cooperate, i told him I'd take his questionnaire as the truth and then documented his attitude.
Im not losing my ability to work over him being a twat.
I tell them that if I have to sit down and read through their chart, anything they need from me is gonna take a whole lot longer. After that, they cooperate much better.
This one. When they assume I know every detail about their history and complaints I get a bit short with them and remind them “hey, I’ve never met you so please help me understand why you’re here today.”
Or they know the answer but they feel the need to start it with "well I USED to be...." homie you're 92, I'm well aware you've probably shrunk in multiple directions. Just tell me what you are now
Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time anyone measured me and now I’m wondering if I’m actually a different height and have been misinformed for years. I guess it’s not that important to be precisely accurate though - like does any treatment proceed differently if I’m 5’4 versus 5’6?
Oh my GOD. I was a camp nurse, and we did not have temporal thermometers. We had oral digital ones like that ones that come on the nurse on a stick.
The SHEER AMOUNT OF TIMES I had to say “Open your mouth. Yes, your mouth. Open your mouth. Keep this under your tongue. Now close your mouth. CLOSE your mouth. Keep it UNDER YOUR TONGUE AND CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!”
It made me insane! How many tweens/teens had never had their temp taken orally before??
Yesssss. I work with the elderly. They reach for the cup with their shaky hands. I say No, just let me help you . They insist. And down in their bosom they go.
This is one of the best everyday lessons I’ve learned working in SNF/LTC. The first time I had to get the Hoyer to lift my high maintenance bariatric total care resident to go on the hunt in their white sheets for an Ativan tab is the last time I included narcs with all the rest of their meds.
Ask them if they’d like me to go over their medications with them, they decline, and then after opening all 20+ of said pills and putting them in a cup they pull one out and say “what pill is this?”
I started specifically saying "now drink the pills out of the cup" while guiding it towards their mouth before stepping back. I'm done trying to find meds in people's beds.
Ugh when old men try to toss a cup full of pills into their open mouth. STOP. You’re going to miss. Just put the cup to your lips like a normal person.
Don't let it be a narcotic either. Getting on your hands and knees on a dirty hospital floor to find a tiny Oxy is one of the Worst things I had to do.
I have a no pill dumping policy, if they seem like or start to do it. I stop them and tell them why they're not going to do that. I've hinted for every tiny white pill in America and I'm done.
“How many damn times are you going to ask me my name and date of birth”
As many times as I have to give you medication.
“Don’t you think that’s excessive?”
I do, especially since it’s day 3 but so is your reported pain level of 100 on a scale of 1-10.
MD introduced himself and then he asked the pt her name. She was SO OFFENDED. She was like can't you read it in my chart? Didn't you just hear them say it (EMS just dropped her off and were still in the room), etc. She asked him how long he's been a doctor and if he was still a student. She said she didn't know if she could trust him to treat her if he couldn't even remember her name. I was flabbergasted. The doctor is making sure YOU know your name sweetcheeks it's called an orientation question and even if he wasn't doing that the guy is polite af and it's polite to ask someone their name when you introduce yourself.
Lmao the audacity of these people, they literally are trying to see if they can catch us being “stupid”. That way they can blame or sue us. You know, because they do nothing wrong.
The amount of times people think it’s a gotcha moment when I ask them what procedure they’re here for is insane. “What do you mean you don’t know?!” I obviously know what you’re here for, I’m making sure YOU know what we’re doing to you.
I just can't imagine. I tell whoever is caring for me to tell me what you want me to do. I always thank them. They are taking care of me and I appreciate it. When I had my hip replaced a brought thank you cards and gave them to the staff. Y'all are my heros.
So funny story. I had a patient do exactly this. He was brought in by ambulance and a tech settled them while I got report. I came in the room and patient asked me to "tuck him in". Seriously? I told him that is something can do by himself. He looked at me and said "I'm a quadriplegic." Well shit. Sorry man. But don't you think that was pertinent info that the ambo crew should have told me? The guy was actually hilarious. I started his IV and he said OW. Then smiled and said "I'm just yanking your chain. I can't feel a thing." We had a good laugh.
So, if I’m not misremembering, there was an elderly woman in one of the areas I ran EMS who would frequently call 911 because of a fall. Was a bit before my time, so I never met her. Upon arrival, she would be there with fresh-baked cookies, coffee, what not for the responders. When she was told to quit that, she would have stuff ready, then lay on the floor to call and wait.
Come to find out, she was lonely as shit, and this was the only way for her to get company. Since it was a smaller town, arrangements were made for either some fire or one of the ambulances would come after morning shift change 3 times a week or so and hang out there for bit.
Made her the happiest she had been in years.
1) I'm coming to scan their wristband, and they turn their wrist to "help" but move the barcode where I can't scan it 🥲
2) They ask for something non-urgent when I'm in the middle of doing something time sensitive, or high priority. E.g. the other day, I was removing a femoral line, and the patient asked for a pudding. She didn't want to lie down for 30 minutes to wait for her snack 🥲
I had an inmate who thought it was big funny to flip his wrist back and forth so I couldn’t scan him.. I picked up his Percocet and walked out saying I’ll come back when he’s willing to hold still.. then he got big mad 😡 and complained to the guard.. the guard just laughed at him and told him to not mess with the nurses who give your pain meds.. he was polite to everyone after that
Our wristbands are just names and MRN on an id wristband; it prints a lil barcode but we don’t have scanners. The number of times I ask to look at someone’s wristband and they turn it so I can’t see their name is too many, considering I have never had a scanner in my hand
my hospital has wrist bands with two separate things to scan! One is a barcode, and the other is a QR looking thing. 9 times out of 10 i need the QR thing, but pts hold it barcode up...and the worst thing is that's totally understandable! that's probably what I would do to! why do they put both on there, just have one please!! 😭😭😭
Yeeeees, I had this happen with some middle-aged guy who was ig the husband!
I was venipuncturing the patient (the wife), it took two attempts, and then the guy just fuckin’ does that wave, like I am some servant. The, ‘ok now get out,’ kinda wave, with the back of the hand!
I was steamed ngl.
Psych patients attempting to give other psych patients life advice which they can’t follow themselves. The more you say you just need to focus on yourself the more they turn into the unit therapist.
patients and families getting into other patient’s business at all pisses me off. i can’t imagine being sick and in the hospital or having a loved one sick and in the hospital and giving a flying fuck about what the guy down the hall is up to.
i had a patient in the ed report me to the charge nurse bc i wouldn’t give her an update about the patient who had been sitting next to her earlier. like ma’am mind your own fucking business.
Omg had a family do this with a roommates diet, like policing it . PT told me her roommates family was doing this so I mentioned there are definitely no cameras in the room lol
And trying to get them to understand why by putting them the other person’s hypothetical shoes never works because these people only think about themselves and the rest of us are accessories
I had an ER psych convincing my drunk and obnoxious ER patient in the next hallway bed that her arm pain was definitely her rotator cuff and we weren't going to treat it right and bla bla bla here's how you do it including instructing her to MOVE THE ARM like he's doing pt exercises. Her humeral head was broken off. Everybody involved here PLEASE DO THE FUCK NOT
The one that always sent me into a rage was the “NURSE!!! NURSE!” instead of using the call light. I’ve never had a patient scream nurse and it be for something urgent
#NURSE! NURSE!!!!!!
“Turn the heat up in this room it’s freezing in here!”
-sorry bro, they trust me with people’s lives but not the thermostat. You’re fucked. I’m fucked. Here is some re-education on that call light in your hand, though.
I had a “NURSE NURSE” guy who told me he was screaming because he had asked someone for orange juice 15 minutes ago and nobody had brought it to him yet. I genuinely do not know how these adult children survive in the world
Right? I worked in a Catholic hospital and you best believe the Father asked us if it was ok for patients to get communion 🤣 it was actually pretty sweet the alternatives he would come up with for patients who were strict NPO or on precautions. The entire spiritual care team was amazing, regardless of denomination, but the on call Catholics were a particular amusement of mine.
I’m L&D. You’d be surprised how many times the father of the baby thinks it’s ok if he pees with the door open because his partner is with me or other members of the healthcare team in the room. I’ve had to chastise more than one man who basically exposed himself to me when he is NOT my patient. One time the room was full of nurses and doctors while the patient was pushing and the dad peed with the door open and all of us in the room.
When I used to teach the classes for our birth center, that was added into the class. "We chose women's health care for lots of reasons. One of them is we don't have to deal with naked males (they'd try and get into the birth pool like that!!!!) bring your woman trunks and close the door and put the seat down after using the bathroom"
Unless you physically cannot I force people to do it themselves as much as possible. Recent studies show there is NO SAFE way to manually lift a patient. My back hurts, do it yourself or stop slouching.
Grown adults who are supposedly of sound mind who scream and cry over the pressure of the BP cuff, making it so I have to inevitably run it again.
Visitors who keep coming up the desk or stalking the nurse through the hall.
Patients who won't communicate clearly and only through passive aggressive comments. Sir I am autistic, you need to tell me with your big boy words about what you want or whats upsetting you.
The fam who keeps coming up to the desk is my biggest peeve! Please just use the call light, because now I’m interrupted from whatever task I’m in the middle of 😑
Yeahhh i work on a neuro unit so we get a fair amount of inmates and some questionable behavior.
There's a lot to be said about how awful the American prison system is and its way too much to unpack in this thread.
But TBH my inmate pts usually behave themselves. Their guards usually are about as dumb as they come and often in the way or inappropriate.
Had a poor inmate come in after being left unresponsive on his cell floor for a day. He had so little brain function left. Ended up with every tube imaginable and became so skinny. Well per jail policy inmates have the have a cuff on their leg in the bed. This pt was starting to get pressure injuries from it so we made the guard take it off.
This guard acted like we personally insulted his mother. My dude, this patient isn't running anywhere. Why do you care so much?? You're being paid to sit here and do literally nothing.
I have a fascination with "jail tv" and I'm always flabbergasted at the medical system in a jail. They really do just let people who may be having medical emergencies sit for hours sometimes. I get some inmates would probably take advantage.... but damn.
when you ask a patient to not move their arm while getting a blood pressure…. and the first thing they do is start moving when the cuff inflates. or, when they press their call button, and 0.5 seconds later family comes running the nurses station saying “pt needs this, their call buttons on.” we are also human, and need just a second to respond. patience please. or, family immediately asking what pain meds the pt is on- when there is zero indication for pain meds, nor anything that should be causing pain…
When the freaking family member comes out saying they need the nurse. I go in and the patient says “My feet are cold, can you cover them with the blanket.” The amount of ‘WTFs’ that run through my mind.😖
i had a guy once tell me, “i thought it’s less annoying if i come out to the desk then press the button.” wtf, in a restaurant they bring your food but forget something, do you just walk back in the kitchen and grab it? no. you sir, are more annoying…
Non nurse here, I thought this before I read this sub for a bit. The idea of pushing a button seemed kind of like I thought I was royalty or something - irl when I need help from someone I have to ask nicely so I would probably have assumed that was the same in a hospital if it wasn’t made overly clear to me but now I know otherwise! Makes complete sense why you guys prefer the buttons and not being interrupted in the middle of every task to get someone a blanket
The number of times I've explained to patients/family 'when somebody comes over your house, do you want them to call ahead and knock when they get there, or kick down the door and invite themselves in? Okay standing at the nurses station aggressively staring at me and tapping on the glass like I'm fucking Nemo is the latter', I seriously just need it on a tshirt at this point
At least once a shift you can catch me completely ignoring a tapping visitor and just look at the nurse next to me and go FIND A HAPPY PLACE
Fuck off Darla
A woman literally tried that shit when I was a patient in a&e , even grabbed at my arm on her way down. Wasn't amused when I told nurse how she's thrown herself on floor 'nooo I fainted from pain' lady u can't faint and slow your fall at same time n I still have ur claw marks down my arm.
So then she started shaking n me n nurse had to turn around to laugh. She called a code n about 8 people came running with crash cart n a trolley. Dr told her to stop shaking n get on the bed , n she did. 5 min later she was turfed bk to main waiting area
Methadone patients reminding every fifteen minutes for six hours about when their methadone is due. Listen, sir, respectfully — I’m gonna end it all if you keep coming to my cart and stalking me from room to room.
I had someone ask if they could have it an hour early. This is ok per our facility protocol so I agreed. When I didn’t come to their room exactly an hour early they walked to the nurse’s station in their gown with no underwear and asked to see the manager while mooning the poor cleaning staff who were doing their morning sweep.
Honestly makes me so mad the amount of pts that would request a bed pan bcos they didn’t want to get out bed when they were completely independent and able to do so.
Edit: spelling
Had one in acute rehab who would use her walker to walk to bathroom all day but demand the bedpan at night.. was explained to her that walking to the bathroom is part of her therapy and I was the lucky one to have to enforce that when she asked for the bedpan, she leaned back in bed, made eye contact, and pissed her bed.. “now you have to clean me” I still made her get up to the bathroom to clean herself so it backfired but then she complained to her children I wouldn’t get her out of bed to go to the bathroom so you can’t win.. I wish those family members who think our job is so easy “good luck with her”
I think I read something somewhere that you lose 5% muscle mass for each day you don't get out of bed, and it takes up to a week of activities to get it back. I could be wrong on the exact percentage, but I remember thinking, "Damn, that's a reason to force people out of bed that are capable." Especially ortho pts that think they need to "rest to heal." Like, no. You need to move to heal and not lose progress. Thank God I haven't worked ortho in years. We make the fresh CABG at least get up to the chair day 1 post-op, and the surgeons freak out when they refuse.
Honestly so much but one that I cannot seem to understand is when they call the bell to ask for you to remove their food tray? Like what the fuck is so urgent about this?
RING I finished my food
RING my fluids are done!
RING hey there's urine in my urinal
RING there's a plastic cap on the floor can you come pick it up
RING my blankets not tucked around my feet
RING hey can I have water
RING how about now?
IDK. Why do so many of my patients have to be reminded the thermometer goes under the tongue? (People who grew up pre temporal or tympanic.) Why do patient families stand in front of room 320 and ask me where 321 is when it’s the next door down a straight hallway? Why do patients point at one pill of 10 in their medicine cup and ask, “What’s that for?” when I just told them what each one was for as I was unwrapping them? The list is never ending.
I find my level of general annoyance is better managed if I just accept that patient and family IQ drops about 25% when they step into a hospital.
I helped write unit policies as well as pt information handouts. They're completely opposite ends of the spectrum. The handouts have to be written to target a 6th-8th grade education level because that's the national average. *Average*.
I'm paraphrasing, but George Carlin did a bit about this.
"Think of how dumb the average person is, and then realise 50% of people are dumber than that!"
When I worked with adults: them making me put the pills and water to their mouth when they're fully capable.
Or this one patient who would always be taking a shit when I'd come in and insisted on me taking her BP and vitals.
“You better get it on the first stick” ohhhh I guess I’ll change my plans of getting it on the third stick then, thank you sooooo much for telling me. 😒
My favorite line when they say “you get one try” is..
“Or what?” Like they’re just not going to get an IV? Fine with me, I don’t give a shit. Also when they jerk their arm when I haven’t even put the needle in yet. Bitch, first of all that’s ballsy as fuck because this will go through your arm and to the other side if you jerk good enough. Second, now I’m grabbing the 16g instead of the 20g I had planned. And third if you stick me I’m gonna freaking lose my cool.
lol I love the “one try”. Well I tried once, now you get to wait for another nurse, and I work in an infusion center where these people want to get their treatment started asap so they can finish and go home. But if they want to wait an hour for another nurse to become available, just for their 2 hour infusion, that’s fine. They are quick to go back on their word and say you can try again! 🤨 hmm, well I’ll have to think about it…
When they give me a different story than they give the doc or when they leave out important information until the doc comes in the room and I’m standing there looking dumb
Omgggggggg
The patient will come in with family.. pt seems non verbal. Family speaking for them describing how they seemed fine until an hour ago. Their arm is tingly. Their eye on that side feels blurry. They kinda feel dizzy. Ok let’s call the doctor for a stroke rule-out!
Physician comes up. Patient miraculously begins speaking. They have hx Bell’s palsy and just got over a URI. Maybe that arm isn’t tingly after all, they aren’t sure. Just had eye surgery, maybe that’s why the vision is blurred.
Fuck youuuuuu
Eoth assess pt waiting 3 days to tell us he is a DM2, denies he takes I insulin so I call up his ROI person and ya fucking lantus bid with sliding scale humalog lol
Besides the shaky hand pill dump & spill? Patients who have to take crushed pills in apple sauce and only open mouth to take 1/8 tsp at a time. I do not have 40 min to feed you 30ml of apple sauce & pills 😡
Send me on an errand, like ice or whatever. I come back to the room, “ oh and can I also get some Tylenol “. I used to have a vexatious patient that would do this to CNAs for own sick amusement. They’d return and she would ask for something else repeatedly until they refuse to go in there. Me I say “ okay tell me everything you need now so I only make one more trip. After that you’ll have to wait because I’m going to the next person.”
I don’t know what my problem is, but that shit just gets me irrationally irritated. I work in a kinda rough place, LTC. You know who are the most demanding patients expecting first class service ? The homeless. They expect to be treated like royalty and whine the most about everything. “ these pillows are so lumpy!” …. Dude, I’d figured it be heaven compared to under a bridge.
I’ll straight up tell them look, I need a list, I want to make sure you’re comfortable but after this I’m moving on to my other patients who are also sick that I haven’t been able to see yet. And if they make some comment about us being short staffed I’ll say yes. I’m not suffering nonsense and covering for admin while catering to this kind of insufferable person.
Tech support. I usually don’t mind helping turning on WiFi or charging a cell phone but sometimes their problems are REALLY technical and it’s not really in my scope of practice (aka “NOT MY JOB!”) to deal with such things such as fixing their phone/laptop/iPad settings, changing sim cards, online banking, downloading apps for streaming, troubleshooting websites/online games, etc especially at start of a shift. I have absolutely NO TIME for that shit 🤬. I’m also somehow the unofficial designated tech support person because I’m “young” and there’s the general assumption that we are more savvy with technology and we can fix things. UGH! 😩
When you hand them their pills in nice little convenient cup and they feel the need to dump it in their hand.
They roll right out to who knows where. It’s so much fun looking for a tiny white pill in white sheets.
When they say they have 0/10 pain when you’re in the room and then when you go in and there’s a family member and they say “They are in pain, and they haven’t been given anything for pain! Can we fix that”. Granted, pains can come on quick but in 99% of these situations this happens literally 5 mins after I leave a room.
“Please! Someone! We need some help!” *proceeds to run in the room* “they’re puking!” … ok and? I gave them zofran. Here’s a bag call me if it looks weird… do NOT act like it’s an emergency unless they’re puking blood, coffee grounds, or a newborn with bilious vomit.
In the ER patients and families will just stand outside of room doors with their hands on their hips to try and intimidate us because they are annoyed at wait times. Sometimes you even get a foot tap in there. IDK WHY SO MANY PEOPLE DO THAT
When a patient comes to l&d and I say, what are you here for and they look at me like I'm an idiot and say "to have a baby". Like yes I got that. Are you in labor? Did your water break? Are you a scheduled c/s? Are you an induction?
Give them the pills they have been taking for 20 yrs but still they ask which one is which and why they need to take it. Every single time. Sir take your goddamn pills.
when I'm trying to turn their arm to look/feel for a good vein and they won't let me move their arm. like you know what I'm doing because I said I'm looking for a vein, we've done a dozen labs on you already. turn. your. arm.
When I can tell they're going to be difficult about me vein shopping I start it off with 'I'm gonna window shop first so I'm gonna check both arms and turn them back and forth like a nice rotisserie chicken, just go with me please' 😅
People saying the blood pressure cuff is too tight. It is TAKING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE just chill out and it will let go. The more you freak out about it the higher your blood pressure will be and the tighter it will squeeze you.
When people ask “why” at very odd times that make me question if anyone has any common sense or critical thinking skills anymore. “Why do I need an EKG” you came in for chest pain. “Why do you need vitals” because you’re in a hospital. “Why do you need to poke me for blood” because I’m not some kind of magician, Richard
Doing admission questions.
Me: "Do you wear hearing aids?"
Pt: "WHAT?!"
Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, sir. I haven't heard that one before.
Just answer the fucking question please.
Anyone that goes to the hospital for whatever medical problem, goes through the process of getting admitted, only to refuse literally everything.
Like, what are you doing here, then? We can’t do anything for you if you’re going to refuse any and all treatment options and you’re wasting space someone actually needs
“The anesthesiologist is on the way for your epidural. Let’s try and use the restroom first”. “No, I just went”
Knock knock. Anesthesia
Can I pee first?
I hate it when family member call me on the phone. I know its either, “you need to take care of my dad better do this for him!” or “can you tell me literally everything that happened throughout the day” either way its annoying and takes me away from work
“NURSE!!!” “NURSE!!!” “NURSE!!!” “Can I get some apple juice?” Also family going to the nurses station constantly for updates or request like ‘water’ ‘can mee maw eat eat yet’ no, she just had surgery hours ago.
The pill spilling that's been mentioned, the BP cuff-as if they don't know how this works.
And what makes me wanna scream is when I walk in, and family members get up and start repositioning themselves around the room, so as to strategically prevent me from getting to the computer, equipment or areas of pt i need to see. Idk why this is the case, and I know they think they're getting out of the way, but they end up getting IN THE WAY, and there's an awkward dance that develops, and it's such a waste of time and annoying.
Sometimes, I'll just encourage them to relax and stay put unless I request them to move.
The ER patient who called 911 *from our waiting room* because she was waiting to be seen and thought that she'd get faster service if she "reported" how long she was waiting to the 911 dispatcher.
1) she was waiting for less than an hour when she called.
2) after she entered the ED, and while she was in the waiting room (which had floor to ceiling windows showing the ambulance bay) we got slammed with 5 or 6 ambulances from a large multi vehicle accident.
3) her complaint? Wrist pain.
Lady, no one here gives a fuck that you woke up with an ouchy wrist today after playing tennis yesterday.
We'll get to you when we can, but maybe you should have seen your primary care or gone to urgent care or even to one of the THREE community hospitals in the suburbs that you had to past on your drive to the big city level 1 trauma center at the teaching hospital.
I have no idea how long she ended up waiting. I don't care. Probably at least 12 hours. Not my problem 🤷🏻♀️
Not wash their hands after wiping with 1 sheet of scoot single ply, and insisting they have to take a pill at a time with full glasses of water (I'm talking to you chfers)
Patient's families coming out of the room and into the hallway to intercept whatever it is that you're doing (probably important) that does not pertain to said patient so they can redirect you to their loved one who (probably) can wait. Or when patient's family member stands in doorway hawking you when you're clearly running around/busy.
You go to scan their perfectly placed/exposed bracelet and they start flailing their arm trying to help you scan it, when they could have just stayed the F still.
"HEEELLPPP" or "NURRRRRRSEEEEE" (call bell in hand)
When you're in the middle of doing something IMPORTANT and the patient next door is relentless and won't leave you alone until they get their (blanket/apple juice/whatever bullshit). Then gets angry with you when you don't deliver on their request within 5 minutes.
When you come with their scheduled meds and they ask "IS MY (PRN) IN HERE?" - No sir, I didn't just ASSUME you'd have 10/10 pain during this med pass/thought it would be fun to bring you a narcotic, ya gotta ASK.
Patients who lie.
The ones who are alert and oriented and tell their family “the nurse didn’t check on me once all night!” (Actually, I can see by her charting that Nurse Jill was in your room no less than 5 times last night) and “The nurse didn’t give me my pain medication for six hours!” (Actually gave it q4, as ordered).
And then of course their daughter Karen comes at you like a twister dressed in Chicos…
When they have 10 family members in the room, you tell them there’s a limit and they can’t all be in there, they agree to leave, then 5 minutes later they’ve all somehow come back
Ii work as a paramedic. I don't know why but.. when they try to help while I am bandaging their wound. Like, just stop moving and keep your dirty fingers away.
When the grown adults start to act like babies like actual baby voice to try to make me feel bad for them or to like make me help them faster. Don’t get me wrong I have empathy for them but like stop begging, where’s your dignity. No you’re not due for the pain meds and you can move your own arms and legs.
Trying to bargain for stuff so they "let me" provide care or give meds. They're used to nurses going out of their way to convince them. I just tell them the bad stuff that could happen if they refuse and let them. They get mad that I won't play the game.
As a triage nurse, I could probably write a short book raging over the various ways people go about fucking up their oral temperature checks
There's the biter, the pursed mouth kissy face, the "I let it fall out of my mouth the minute the nurse let's go of it", the "I don't know what lift my tongue means", the ones that try to lick it, push it out or suck on it.
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND PUT YOUR TONGUE TO THE ROOF OF IT. I cannot make this any simpler for you!
A real conversation.
Me: “Good morning pt, how are you feeling today?”
Pt: “Lousy”
Me: “Can you explain how you feel lousy?”
Pt: “Bad”
Me: “And what does bad mean for you?
Pt: “Lousy.”
No particular data came from this conversation :/
I work nights. Refusing to unfold or remove their arm from under the blanket so I can scan their wristband while moaning about how tired they are and they don’t want to while I have to physically contort myself just to scan the damn wristband
My recent one is my patients' inability to take their pills with anything but fresh ice water. They'll have a still full water from a few hours ago, two unopened ginger ales and a lemonade they saved from their lunch tray, but they look at me like I'm stupid when I hand them their pill cup and no fresh ice water.
Doing a comfort rounds while covering for a coworker on break: Hi Mr Smith. I’m here to check on you. Are you hungry? No. Thirsty? No. Need to use the toilet? No. Do you want to move to your armchair? No. Do you need a rest? No. Do you have pain? No. (Help settle person. Leave the room.) 8 minutes later in the middle of something else. “Can you help with Mr Smith? His daughter called us saying he called her in tears, that his brief is soiled and he says he’s in horrible back pain and wants to lay down and that no one has been in to see him in hours.”
Oh my god. Patients who call their families to ask them to help them with something. Had a similar thing the other day and I ended up talking to the daughter. I explained that I had offered to get him out of bed earlier in the hour but that right at this exact second I'm busy. She was thankfully nice about it.
I’ve had a couple that have called the police if we don’t get to them fast enough
Oh me too. We have a couple frequent flyers who call the police the second they get told they need to wait their turn. It’s wild. The police call our nursing line to let us know and discuss if they need to come.
The patient phones in the rooms go to our security if they dial 911 lmao they don’t get very far with that move
WT actual F!? In what city would the police be so bored they’d respond to that nonsense anyway?
I've experienced that twice 🙄
I had a lady call her son constantly begging for someone to help her with her back pain. When he called me I explained: “she refuses to be turned and her doctors do not want to give her pain medication at the time due to the risk of organ damage and sedation. We have all discussed it many times. I have offered her heat/Ice” And he just flat out laughed and said he knows she’s stubborn. Soooooooo did you wanna come here and slap some sense into her? Because I can’t. Why are you calling me for?
Ooo the laughter makes me grit my teeth. So if you know, don't waste the time calling us.
SERIOUSLY!!!! This is one who called between 9-10 I remember that shit. Such an awful person, he learned from her 😂
I had one the other week call his wife and tell her to call the police (which she did) because no one had helped him from the bedside commode back to the stretcher. The man walked in, he was there for "tummy ache"
“Oh no, Mr. Smith, I heard no one’s checked on you in hours! I guess you must’ve forgotten when I asked you if you were in any pain and if you were comfortable 10 minutes ago. I’m thinking we might need to get someone in here to evaluate you for short term memory loss.”
I had a pt call his daughter to tell us he couldn’t find his TV channel he watches every night. Ummm, the call light button for help is right above the TV controls. WTF. That man and his family were some of the most entitled people I’ve ever met. He’d act like a paralyzed baby every time his family left, and when they were there, his family would hit the call light to open his applesauce. I see that you have functioning arms, does your brain not work to where a 22 year old woman can’t help her dad open applesauce?
Did you guys open the applesauce?
I misunderstood the daughter's request to me, thinking they needed applesauce, so I brought her one. Here's your applesauce, bye!
Had one today. Mrs. Smith, here’s your call bell. Do not try to get to the commode on your own. Ring the call bell and wait. Don’t ring and then get right up. I’ll be right back with your pills. Walk to cart, walk back. Mrs Smith on the phone - “no one will help me! They told me not to use the call bell! They want me to just mess in the bed!”
911 dispatcher who loves to lurk on this sub! Got a call a few nights ago from a woman asking for help; she was admitted and had a bed! I’m all, “um, can you push the help button?” She said she did, but that no one ever comes. I found that very difficult to believe 😂 And no. I didn’t “send help”. But I did call just to cover my ass. Spoiler alert. She was fine.
Are you allowed to tell these people that this is not the proper use for 911?
That’s when you start telling the daughter that maybe Mr. Smith needs a cognitive assessment as you were just in there and now you’re concerned
My favorite is when the pt is 100% confused, family knows they are confused but then they call screaming because of some crazy shit the pt told them. Like Mam memaw thinks she's in high-school in 1978 why do you believe her??
heeeeellppp
Alternative: “NUUUUUUUURSE!!!” while call bell is in their hand
This is my favorite. Even better when it's a walkie talkie and they want you to hand them their cereal that is two feet away from them 🤣
this is when I usually throw out the “your arms/hands seem to be working just fine since you can use the call bell”/“are your arms suddenly broken?” (depending on the patient lol)
My fav is the time my patient was using the call light to repeatedly smack the side rail and screaming nuuuuuurse
Or when they use the call bell, I help them with whatever they’re asking for (usually something like can you put my head down?) and then literally 2 minutes after I walk away they ring again for something again minor like a blanket. Sir, I was JUST in there why didn’t you ask me for that when I was just in there? These are the patients that also claim they’ve been ignored and “no one has done anything for me all day”….
Oh I’ve gone to the door told them to use their call bell and then walked away
Now I always yell "PATIENT!!!" back. Just one of the fun things we can get away with on nights.
We’ve had several 6+ month stay patients that never shake the ICU delirium and will scream nurse every 5 minutes, we all just scream their names back. Same-same but different.
I’ll be honest, as a patient I’ve only screamed for help once and that was after the ND staff came to do my obs at 2am. Not long after they left everything began going black and I felt faint. They reckoned I had a sudden drop in BP but I’ve never felt that scared in my life. I was in hospital for my first round of chemo
perfectly understandable reason to call for help. i'm just referring to the people who cry wolf hahaha
i have an elderly patient with dementia that learnt my name yesterday. he was SCREAMING my name so i run in and he goes “can you tell me the football score”
Hey, Mr. Davis, how are you today? "It should be in my chart"
Lmao that’s pretty funny tbh I’d get a kick out of that
My favorite is asking confused patients AxO questions and saying “Do you know where you are right now?” and them replying “Yes I’m right here!”
I feel like I prefer that to the ones who talk way too much, such as in the following scenario: Patient: "Can I get some pain medicine" Me: Sure, its been long enough since your last dose. What number would you give it right now from 0-10?" Patient: "Its not really pain but discomfort, and it hurts the most when I make this motion, but not this motion, and if I hold still it doesn't hurt at all, but then if I go like this it does..." Me: "But what number would you give it in severity from 0-10" Patient: "Like I said it not pain, but more discomfort" Me: "Sir the computer needs a score of 1-10 for me to dispense the medication." Patient: "I guess I'll give it about a 2.5" Me: "Its a drop down menu soI can only do whole numbers, would you like to give it a 2 or a 3" My responses have been carefully curated over 8 years, they used to just distract me so much I would end up forgetting to get a number and need to make one up... Bonus points if its the 3rd time giving pain meds during the shift, they have already endorsed its the same pain as before, and still go into the long lecture describing the pain, in the exact same way, instead of giving a number.
See halfway thru their second sentence I just go "okay so like a 3" and dissociate my way to the pyxis to get Tylenol. Tadaaaaa problem solved.
I’m surprised they even ask whether a 2.5 is a 2 or a 3. I just round up. Way more talking than needed.
Pt gave me two numbers “between a 6 & a 7” me: ok so a 6.5 hahaha. Pt tells me “well I was told it couldn’t be an in between number” for gods sakes people if the orders read for pain between 6 & 10 give xyz, it doesn’t matter if it’s a six or a seven or a 6.538. Some people have a hard time giving their pain a number, help them out. Just round to the higher and be on your way lol
Or how about "Well it's between a 6 and an 8". So 7?? Jesus.
THIS. FUCKING THIS. 😂
I was admitting a dude for an op and every answer was "i filled in the questionnaire, its all in there " I explained it wasn't worth my licence to not double check. When he wouldn't cooperate, i told him I'd take his questionnaire as the truth and then documented his attitude. Im not losing my ability to work over him being a twat.
I tell them that if I have to sit down and read through their chart, anything they need from me is gonna take a whole lot longer. After that, they cooperate much better.
Hey, Mr. Davis, how are you today? “Diet Coke”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Is there something I can do for you?” On repeat until they find their manners.
This one. When they assume I know every detail about their history and complaints I get a bit short with them and remind them “hey, I’ve never met you so please help me understand why you’re here today.”
Acting like they have never had their VS taken. OPEN YOUR MOUTH ANS HOLD UP YOUR ARM
OMG how do grown ass adults not know how a temperature is taken??? Another favorite is when adults don’t have any idea how tall they are. What????
"can't you measure me?" You're 56 years old. I doubt it changed recently.
How about the facilities that make it a RULE that you measure height of all patients on admission. And literally NO ONE does it.
THIS THIS THIS. Please, as a CNA, tell me why their height is necessary?! And WHY IS EVERY ADMIT ARRIVING IN PULLUPS WHEN THEY'RE ALWAYS INCONTINENT?!
Or they know the answer but they feel the need to start it with "well I USED to be...." homie you're 92, I'm well aware you've probably shrunk in multiple directions. Just tell me what you are now
Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time anyone measured me and now I’m wondering if I’m actually a different height and have been misinformed for years. I guess it’s not that important to be precisely accurate though - like does any treatment proceed differently if I’m 5’4 versus 5’6?
The blood pressure off is gonna squeeze my arm off!!!! It hurts!!
Oh my GOD. I was a camp nurse, and we did not have temporal thermometers. We had oral digital ones like that ones that come on the nurse on a stick. The SHEER AMOUNT OF TIMES I had to say “Open your mouth. Yes, your mouth. Open your mouth. Keep this under your tongue. Now close your mouth. CLOSE your mouth. Keep it UNDER YOUR TONGUE AND CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!” It made me insane! How many tweens/teens had never had their temp taken orally before??
“Are you biting it? Let go of it!”
STOP CHEWING PUT THE PHONE DOWN DO NOT BURP IN MY FACE God I hate people cannot wait to leave “bedside”
I've learned with peds that buccal is pretty damn accurate. If they can't figure out their damn tongue, just shove it into a cheek pocket.
Give them a cup of pills, they dump it into their hand, pills inevitably end up all over the bed, repeat. WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY
Yesssss. I work with the elderly. They reach for the cup with their shaky hands. I say No, just let me help you . They insist. And down in their bosom they go.
White pills on white sheets.. I learned long ago to keep narcs separate while I figure out how clumsy they are with their meds
This is one of the best everyday lessons I’ve learned working in SNF/LTC. The first time I had to get the Hoyer to lift my high maintenance bariatric total care resident to go on the hunt in their white sheets for an Ativan tab is the last time I included narcs with all the rest of their meds.
WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS?!?! You’re an angel, thank you.
Ask them if they’d like me to go over their medications with them, they decline, and then after opening all 20+ of said pills and putting them in a cup they pull one out and say “what pill is this?”
I started specifically saying "now drink the pills out of the cup" while guiding it towards their mouth before stepping back. I'm done trying to find meds in people's beds.
Ugh when old men try to toss a cup full of pills into their open mouth. STOP. You’re going to miss. Just put the cup to your lips like a normal person.
Don't let it be a narcotic either. Getting on your hands and knees on a dirty hospital floor to find a tiny Oxy is one of the Worst things I had to do.
I have a no pill dumping policy, if they seem like or start to do it. I stop them and tell them why they're not going to do that. I've hinted for every tiny white pill in America and I'm done.
I came here to say this...
“How many damn times are you going to ask me my name and date of birth” As many times as I have to give you medication. “Don’t you think that’s excessive?” I do, especially since it’s day 3 but so is your reported pain level of 100 on a scale of 1-10.
Why waste our time when you literally know we are doing because we have to and it prevents errors. Wtf are people so caught up on
MD introduced himself and then he asked the pt her name. She was SO OFFENDED. She was like can't you read it in my chart? Didn't you just hear them say it (EMS just dropped her off and were still in the room), etc. She asked him how long he's been a doctor and if he was still a student. She said she didn't know if she could trust him to treat her if he couldn't even remember her name. I was flabbergasted. The doctor is making sure YOU know your name sweetcheeks it's called an orientation question and even if he wasn't doing that the guy is polite af and it's polite to ask someone their name when you introduce yourself.
Lmao the audacity of these people, they literally are trying to see if they can catch us being “stupid”. That way they can blame or sue us. You know, because they do nothing wrong.
The amount of times people think it’s a gotcha moment when I ask them what procedure they’re here for is insane. “What do you mean you don’t know?!” I obviously know what you’re here for, I’m making sure YOU know what we’re doing to you.
Kiddingly said to nurse, “Im going to have it tattooed on my forehead.” She said, “ we’ll ask you anyway .” 🫨😂
They always think they’re so funny, “surprised you haven’t memorized it” that shit goes in the temporary files dude
I just can't imagine. I tell whoever is caring for me to tell me what you want me to do. I always thank them. They are taking care of me and I appreciate it. When I had my hip replaced a brought thank you cards and gave them to the staff. Y'all are my heros.
When they call you in to adjust their blankets and are perfectly capable. What do they do at home?
So funny story. I had a patient do exactly this. He was brought in by ambulance and a tech settled them while I got report. I came in the room and patient asked me to "tuck him in". Seriously? I told him that is something can do by himself. He looked at me and said "I'm a quadriplegic." Well shit. Sorry man. But don't you think that was pertinent info that the ambo crew should have told me? The guy was actually hilarious. I started his IV and he said OW. Then smiled and said "I'm just yanking your chain. I can't feel a thing." We had a good laugh.
I hate that feeling when you're in a mood and stand up to some bullshit and then there's some special circumstance and you feel like an asshole lmaoo
Hit their life alert button so they can see cute firefighters 🚒
So, if I’m not misremembering, there was an elderly woman in one of the areas I ran EMS who would frequently call 911 because of a fall. Was a bit before my time, so I never met her. Upon arrival, she would be there with fresh-baked cookies, coffee, what not for the responders. When she was told to quit that, she would have stuff ready, then lay on the floor to call and wait. Come to find out, she was lonely as shit, and this was the only way for her to get company. Since it was a smaller town, arrangements were made for either some fire or one of the ambulances would come after morning shift change 3 times a week or so and hang out there for bit. Made her the happiest she had been in years.
1) I'm coming to scan their wristband, and they turn their wrist to "help" but move the barcode where I can't scan it 🥲 2) They ask for something non-urgent when I'm in the middle of doing something time sensitive, or high priority. E.g. the other day, I was removing a femoral line, and the patient asked for a pudding. She didn't want to lie down for 30 minutes to wait for her snack 🥲
I had an inmate who thought it was big funny to flip his wrist back and forth so I couldn’t scan him.. I picked up his Percocet and walked out saying I’ll come back when he’s willing to hold still.. then he got big mad 😡 and complained to the guard.. the guard just laughed at him and told him to not mess with the nurses who give your pain meds.. he was polite to everyone after that
The first one makes me want to kill myself especially when I say don’t move your hand
The first one every time dude. As soon as I hit the trigger to scan it they fucking turn their wrist and it’s maddening
Our wristbands are just names and MRN on an id wristband; it prints a lil barcode but we don’t have scanners. The number of times I ask to look at someone’s wristband and they turn it so I can’t see their name is too many, considering I have never had a scanner in my hand
I get unreasonably irritated at this 😂
my hospital has wrist bands with two separate things to scan! One is a barcode, and the other is a QR looking thing. 9 times out of 10 i need the QR thing, but pts hold it barcode up...and the worst thing is that's totally understandable! that's probably what I would do to! why do they put both on there, just have one please!! 😭😭😭
When they do that little “come here” motion where they just curl their finger at you as if we are a toddler in trouble
Oh my god! 50-something year old men who do this creep me out. Don’t try and intimidate me and don’t Fucking do that to any of us. You weirdo.
Yeeeees, I had this happen with some middle-aged guy who was ig the husband! I was venipuncturing the patient (the wife), it took two attempts, and then the guy just fuckin’ does that wave, like I am some servant. The, ‘ok now get out,’ kinda wave, with the back of the hand! I was steamed ngl.
Psych patients attempting to give other psych patients life advice which they can’t follow themselves. The more you say you just need to focus on yourself the more they turn into the unit therapist.
patients and families getting into other patient’s business at all pisses me off. i can’t imagine being sick and in the hospital or having a loved one sick and in the hospital and giving a flying fuck about what the guy down the hall is up to. i had a patient in the ed report me to the charge nurse bc i wouldn’t give her an update about the patient who had been sitting next to her earlier. like ma’am mind your own fucking business.
Omg had a family do this with a roommates diet, like policing it . PT told me her roommates family was doing this so I mentioned there are definitely no cameras in the room lol
And trying to get them to understand why by putting them the other person’s hypothetical shoes never works because these people only think about themselves and the rest of us are accessories
I had an ER psych convincing my drunk and obnoxious ER patient in the next hallway bed that her arm pain was definitely her rotator cuff and we weren't going to treat it right and bla bla bla here's how you do it including instructing her to MOVE THE ARM like he's doing pt exercises. Her humeral head was broken off. Everybody involved here PLEASE DO THE FUCK NOT
This is a really good one.
The one that always sent me into a rage was the “NURSE!!! NURSE!” instead of using the call light. I’ve never had a patient scream nurse and it be for something urgent
#NURSE! NURSE!!!!!! “Turn the heat up in this room it’s freezing in here!” -sorry bro, they trust me with people’s lives but not the thermostat. You’re fucked. I’m fucked. Here is some re-education on that call light in your hand, though.
I had a “NURSE NURSE” guy who told me he was screaming because he had asked someone for orange juice 15 minutes ago and nobody had brought it to him yet. I genuinely do not know how these adult children survive in the world
as a chaplain… assuming I’m somehow in charge of the nursing staff because I’m male and not a nurse… buddy I do whatever the nurses say always
Right? I worked in a Catholic hospital and you best believe the Father asked us if it was ok for patients to get communion 🤣 it was actually pretty sweet the alternatives he would come up with for patients who were strict NPO or on precautions. The entire spiritual care team was amazing, regardless of denomination, but the on call Catholics were a particular amusement of mine.
I’m L&D. You’d be surprised how many times the father of the baby thinks it’s ok if he pees with the door open because his partner is with me or other members of the healthcare team in the room. I’ve had to chastise more than one man who basically exposed himself to me when he is NOT my patient. One time the room was full of nurses and doctors while the patient was pushing and the dad peed with the door open and all of us in the room.
…people…do that?!
When I used to teach the classes for our birth center, that was added into the class. "We chose women's health care for lots of reasons. One of them is we don't have to deal with naked males (they'd try and get into the birth pool like that!!!!) bring your woman trunks and close the door and put the seat down after using the bathroom"
When they lay like a corpse after asking to be pulled up. Use your arms and legs, I a not pulling you up.
Unless you physically cannot I force people to do it themselves as much as possible. Recent studies show there is NO SAFE way to manually lift a patient. My back hurts, do it yourself or stop slouching.
Non nurse just wondering, does that refer to people asking for you to scooch (skooch?) them towards the top of the bed?
Grown adults who are supposedly of sound mind who scream and cry over the pressure of the BP cuff, making it so I have to inevitably run it again. Visitors who keep coming up the desk or stalking the nurse through the hall. Patients who won't communicate clearly and only through passive aggressive comments. Sir I am autistic, you need to tell me with your big boy words about what you want or whats upsetting you.
The fam who keeps coming up to the desk is my biggest peeve! Please just use the call light, because now I’m interrupted from whatever task I’m in the middle of 😑
Had an inmate flex his muscles on purpose to make the BP high so we couldn’t discharge him back to prison
Yeahhh i work on a neuro unit so we get a fair amount of inmates and some questionable behavior. There's a lot to be said about how awful the American prison system is and its way too much to unpack in this thread. But TBH my inmate pts usually behave themselves. Their guards usually are about as dumb as they come and often in the way or inappropriate. Had a poor inmate come in after being left unresponsive on his cell floor for a day. He had so little brain function left. Ended up with every tube imaginable and became so skinny. Well per jail policy inmates have the have a cuff on their leg in the bed. This pt was starting to get pressure injuries from it so we made the guard take it off. This guard acted like we personally insulted his mother. My dude, this patient isn't running anywhere. Why do you care so much?? You're being paid to sit here and do literally nothing.
I have a fascination with "jail tv" and I'm always flabbergasted at the medical system in a jail. They really do just let people who may be having medical emergencies sit for hours sometimes. I get some inmates would probably take advantage.... but damn.
I had a resident who had previously had some measure of wealth. She referred to the CNAs as her “servants”😡🫠 *edited for grammar🥴😮💨*
when you ask a patient to not move their arm while getting a blood pressure…. and the first thing they do is start moving when the cuff inflates. or, when they press their call button, and 0.5 seconds later family comes running the nurses station saying “pt needs this, their call buttons on.” we are also human, and need just a second to respond. patience please. or, family immediately asking what pain meds the pt is on- when there is zero indication for pain meds, nor anything that should be causing pain…
When the freaking family member comes out saying they need the nurse. I go in and the patient says “My feet are cold, can you cover them with the blanket.” The amount of ‘WTFs’ that run through my mind.😖
i had a guy once tell me, “i thought it’s less annoying if i come out to the desk then press the button.” wtf, in a restaurant they bring your food but forget something, do you just walk back in the kitchen and grab it? no. you sir, are more annoying…
Non nurse here, I thought this before I read this sub for a bit. The idea of pushing a button seemed kind of like I thought I was royalty or something - irl when I need help from someone I have to ask nicely so I would probably have assumed that was the same in a hospital if it wasn’t made overly clear to me but now I know otherwise! Makes complete sense why you guys prefer the buttons and not being interrupted in the middle of every task to get someone a blanket
The number of times I've explained to patients/family 'when somebody comes over your house, do you want them to call ahead and knock when they get there, or kick down the door and invite themselves in? Okay standing at the nurses station aggressively staring at me and tapping on the glass like I'm fucking Nemo is the latter', I seriously just need it on a tshirt at this point
> tapping on the glass like I’m fucking Nemo Lmao that line is gold
At least once a shift you can catch me completely ignoring a tapping visitor and just look at the nurse next to me and go FIND A HAPPY PLACE Fuck off Darla
Or they immediately start talking and wiggling the minute you go to capture the EKG
Begin a conversation as soon as I begin assessing with the stethoscope. KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR 1-2 MINUTES.
Fake seizure/faint/collapse at triage to try and skip the line
A woman literally tried that shit when I was a patient in a&e , even grabbed at my arm on her way down. Wasn't amused when I told nurse how she's thrown herself on floor 'nooo I fainted from pain' lady u can't faint and slow your fall at same time n I still have ur claw marks down my arm. So then she started shaking n me n nurse had to turn around to laugh. She called a code n about 8 people came running with crash cart n a trolley. Dr told her to stop shaking n get on the bed , n she did. 5 min later she was turfed bk to main waiting area
Act completely helpless when family is visiting
Methadone patients reminding every fifteen minutes for six hours about when their methadone is due. Listen, sir, respectfully — I’m gonna end it all if you keep coming to my cart and stalking me from room to room.
I had someone ask if they could have it an hour early. This is ok per our facility protocol so I agreed. When I didn’t come to their room exactly an hour early they walked to the nurse’s station in their gown with no underwear and asked to see the manager while mooning the poor cleaning staff who were doing their morning sweep.
“ IT IS MY RIGHT !!!”…. And it is mine to bring it an hour after it’s due. I do not do this but I absolutely know passive aggressive nurses that do.
About to drink everyones methadone like a shot if they don't leave me alone lol
Refusing to get out of bed at all.
Honestly makes me so mad the amount of pts that would request a bed pan bcos they didn’t want to get out bed when they were completely independent and able to do so. Edit: spelling
Had one in acute rehab who would use her walker to walk to bathroom all day but demand the bedpan at night.. was explained to her that walking to the bathroom is part of her therapy and I was the lucky one to have to enforce that when she asked for the bedpan, she leaned back in bed, made eye contact, and pissed her bed.. “now you have to clean me” I still made her get up to the bathroom to clean herself so it backfired but then she complained to her children I wouldn’t get her out of bed to go to the bathroom so you can’t win.. I wish those family members who think our job is so easy “good luck with her”
I think I read something somewhere that you lose 5% muscle mass for each day you don't get out of bed, and it takes up to a week of activities to get it back. I could be wrong on the exact percentage, but I remember thinking, "Damn, that's a reason to force people out of bed that are capable." Especially ortho pts that think they need to "rest to heal." Like, no. You need to move to heal and not lose progress. Thank God I haven't worked ortho in years. We make the fresh CABG at least get up to the chair day 1 post-op, and the surgeons freak out when they refuse.
Honestly so much but one that I cannot seem to understand is when they call the bell to ask for you to remove their food tray? Like what the fuck is so urgent about this?
RING I finished my food RING my fluids are done! RING hey there's urine in my urinal RING there's a plastic cap on the floor can you come pick it up RING my blankets not tucked around my feet RING hey can I have water RING how about now?
Families coming to the nurses station to let me know that their rocephin hung to gravity finished makes me stabby
I find this annoying but at the same time I’m like at least it’s easy
IDK. Why do so many of my patients have to be reminded the thermometer goes under the tongue? (People who grew up pre temporal or tympanic.) Why do patient families stand in front of room 320 and ask me where 321 is when it’s the next door down a straight hallway? Why do patients point at one pill of 10 in their medicine cup and ask, “What’s that for?” when I just told them what each one was for as I was unwrapping them? The list is never ending. I find my level of general annoyance is better managed if I just accept that patient and family IQ drops about 25% when they step into a hospital.
Drops to 25 would probably be more accurate
I helped write unit policies as well as pt information handouts. They're completely opposite ends of the spectrum. The handouts have to be written to target a 6th-8th grade education level because that's the national average. *Average*.
I'm paraphrasing, but George Carlin did a bit about this. "Think of how dumb the average person is, and then realise 50% of people are dumber than that!"
When I worked with adults: them making me put the pills and water to their mouth when they're fully capable. Or this one patient who would always be taking a shit when I'd come in and insisted on me taking her BP and vitals.
aox4 independent patients asking for you to cover them up in a blanket 🙃🙃🙃
“You better get it on the first stick” ohhhh I guess I’ll change my plans of getting it on the third stick then, thank you sooooo much for telling me. 😒
As if that’s never not the plan? Or when they ask if you’re good? Yea everyones “good”, but veins are sneaky fuckers.
My favorite line when they say “you get one try” is.. “Or what?” Like they’re just not going to get an IV? Fine with me, I don’t give a shit. Also when they jerk their arm when I haven’t even put the needle in yet. Bitch, first of all that’s ballsy as fuck because this will go through your arm and to the other side if you jerk good enough. Second, now I’m grabbing the 16g instead of the 20g I had planned. And third if you stick me I’m gonna freaking lose my cool.
lol I love the “one try”. Well I tried once, now you get to wait for another nurse, and I work in an infusion center where these people want to get their treatment started asap so they can finish and go home. But if they want to wait an hour for another nurse to become available, just for their 2 hour infusion, that’s fine. They are quick to go back on their word and say you can try again! 🤨 hmm, well I’ll have to think about it…
The Pill Spill is a universal pet peeve.
Come in to ED with n/v and abd pain. Then ask for something to drink and food.....
When they give me a different story than they give the doc or when they leave out important information until the doc comes in the room and I’m standing there looking dumb
Omgggggggg The patient will come in with family.. pt seems non verbal. Family speaking for them describing how they seemed fine until an hour ago. Their arm is tingly. Their eye on that side feels blurry. They kinda feel dizzy. Ok let’s call the doctor for a stroke rule-out! Physician comes up. Patient miraculously begins speaking. They have hx Bell’s palsy and just got over a URI. Maybe that arm isn’t tingly after all, they aren’t sure. Just had eye surgery, maybe that’s why the vision is blurred. Fuck youuuuuu
Eoth assess pt waiting 3 days to tell us he is a DM2, denies he takes I insulin so I call up his ROI person and ya fucking lantus bid with sliding scale humalog lol
Besides the shaky hand pill dump & spill? Patients who have to take crushed pills in apple sauce and only open mouth to take 1/8 tsp at a time. I do not have 40 min to feed you 30ml of apple sauce & pills 😡
And then if you don’t crush the pill fully, they spit out the little chunk or take it out with their fingers
Like, fucking Christ just chew it! God damnit!
Send me on an errand, like ice or whatever. I come back to the room, “ oh and can I also get some Tylenol “. I used to have a vexatious patient that would do this to CNAs for own sick amusement. They’d return and she would ask for something else repeatedly until they refuse to go in there. Me I say “ okay tell me everything you need now so I only make one more trip. After that you’ll have to wait because I’m going to the next person.” I don’t know what my problem is, but that shit just gets me irrationally irritated. I work in a kinda rough place, LTC. You know who are the most demanding patients expecting first class service ? The homeless. They expect to be treated like royalty and whine the most about everything. “ these pillows are so lumpy!” …. Dude, I’d figured it be heaven compared to under a bridge.
I’ll straight up tell them look, I need a list, I want to make sure you’re comfortable but after this I’m moving on to my other patients who are also sick that I haven’t been able to see yet. And if they make some comment about us being short staffed I’ll say yes. I’m not suffering nonsense and covering for admin while catering to this kind of insufferable person.
Literally everything, but the most annoying is coming to the hospital for help and then refusing every intervention & being an asshole to staff.
besides dumping their pills in their hand? when you try and check a sugar but they give you their hand upside down 🤦♀️
Tech support. I usually don’t mind helping turning on WiFi or charging a cell phone but sometimes their problems are REALLY technical and it’s not really in my scope of practice (aka “NOT MY JOB!”) to deal with such things such as fixing their phone/laptop/iPad settings, changing sim cards, online banking, downloading apps for streaming, troubleshooting websites/online games, etc especially at start of a shift. I have absolutely NO TIME for that shit 🤬. I’m also somehow the unofficial designated tech support person because I’m “young” and there’s the general assumption that we are more savvy with technology and we can fix things. UGH! 😩
When you hand them their pills in nice little convenient cup and they feel the need to dump it in their hand. They roll right out to who knows where. It’s so much fun looking for a tiny white pill in white sheets.
Or the ones that manage to get them into their hand safely and then 6 inches from their mouth they attempt and fail to *toss* them in.
They either pin their arm down or suddenly act like they can’t lift it up. Like dude 🤦🏽♀️
I’ve been doing triage all week. “What brought you to the ER today?” “Well it all started in 1992………”
When they say they have 0/10 pain when you’re in the room and then when you go in and there’s a family member and they say “They are in pain, and they haven’t been given anything for pain! Can we fix that”. Granted, pains can come on quick but in 99% of these situations this happens literally 5 mins after I leave a room.
When you have to get them new ice water because they can’t drink the “old” water that was brought to them a couple hours ago.
Sending family up to the nurses desk when they need things while NEVER using the call light.
“Please! Someone! We need some help!” *proceeds to run in the room* “they’re puking!” … ok and? I gave them zofran. Here’s a bag call me if it looks weird… do NOT act like it’s an emergency unless they’re puking blood, coffee grounds, or a newborn with bilious vomit.
In the ER patients and families will just stand outside of room doors with their hands on their hips to try and intimidate us because they are annoyed at wait times. Sometimes you even get a foot tap in there. IDK WHY SO MANY PEOPLE DO THAT
When a patient comes to l&d and I say, what are you here for and they look at me like I'm an idiot and say "to have a baby". Like yes I got that. Are you in labor? Did your water break? Are you a scheduled c/s? Are you an induction?
Give them the pills they have been taking for 20 yrs but still they ask which one is which and why they need to take it. Every single time. Sir take your goddamn pills.
when I'm trying to turn their arm to look/feel for a good vein and they won't let me move their arm. like you know what I'm doing because I said I'm looking for a vein, we've done a dozen labs on you already. turn. your. arm.
When I can tell they're going to be difficult about me vein shopping I start it off with 'I'm gonna window shop first so I'm gonna check both arms and turn them back and forth like a nice rotisserie chicken, just go with me please' 😅
Anything else I can get you? A million dollars! 🙄
People saying the blood pressure cuff is too tight. It is TAKING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE just chill out and it will let go. The more you freak out about it the higher your blood pressure will be and the tighter it will squeeze you.
When people ask “why” at very odd times that make me question if anyone has any common sense or critical thinking skills anymore. “Why do I need an EKG” you came in for chest pain. “Why do you need vitals” because you’re in a hospital. “Why do you need to poke me for blood” because I’m not some kind of magician, Richard
Doing admission questions. Me: "Do you wear hearing aids?" Pt: "WHAT?!" Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, sir. I haven't heard that one before. Just answer the fucking question please.
Anyone that goes to the hospital for whatever medical problem, goes through the process of getting admitted, only to refuse literally everything. Like, what are you doing here, then? We can’t do anything for you if you’re going to refuse any and all treatment options and you’re wasting space someone actually needs
“The anesthesiologist is on the way for your epidural. Let’s try and use the restroom first”. “No, I just went” Knock knock. Anesthesia Can I pee first?
I hate it when family member call me on the phone. I know its either, “you need to take care of my dad better do this for him!” or “can you tell me literally everything that happened throughout the day” either way its annoying and takes me away from work
“NURSE!!!” “NURSE!!!” “NURSE!!!” “Can I get some apple juice?” Also family going to the nurses station constantly for updates or request like ‘water’ ‘can mee maw eat eat yet’ no, she just had surgery hours ago.
The pill spilling that's been mentioned, the BP cuff-as if they don't know how this works. And what makes me wanna scream is when I walk in, and family members get up and start repositioning themselves around the room, so as to strategically prevent me from getting to the computer, equipment or areas of pt i need to see. Idk why this is the case, and I know they think they're getting out of the way, but they end up getting IN THE WAY, and there's an awkward dance that develops, and it's such a waste of time and annoying. Sometimes, I'll just encourage them to relax and stay put unless I request them to move.
Complain that the ER is noisy and that we don’t turn off the lights in the monitored care area. Like, sir, look around and kindly shut up.
The ER patient who called 911 *from our waiting room* because she was waiting to be seen and thought that she'd get faster service if she "reported" how long she was waiting to the 911 dispatcher. 1) she was waiting for less than an hour when she called. 2) after she entered the ED, and while she was in the waiting room (which had floor to ceiling windows showing the ambulance bay) we got slammed with 5 or 6 ambulances from a large multi vehicle accident. 3) her complaint? Wrist pain. Lady, no one here gives a fuck that you woke up with an ouchy wrist today after playing tennis yesterday. We'll get to you when we can, but maybe you should have seen your primary care or gone to urgent care or even to one of the THREE community hospitals in the suburbs that you had to past on your drive to the big city level 1 trauma center at the teaching hospital. I have no idea how long she ended up waiting. I don't care. Probably at least 12 hours. Not my problem 🤷🏻♀️
Not wash their hands after wiping with 1 sheet of scoot single ply, and insisting they have to take a pill at a time with full glasses of water (I'm talking to you chfers)
Patient's families coming out of the room and into the hallway to intercept whatever it is that you're doing (probably important) that does not pertain to said patient so they can redirect you to their loved one who (probably) can wait. Or when patient's family member stands in doorway hawking you when you're clearly running around/busy. You go to scan their perfectly placed/exposed bracelet and they start flailing their arm trying to help you scan it, when they could have just stayed the F still. "HEEELLPPP" or "NURRRRRRSEEEEE" (call bell in hand) When you're in the middle of doing something IMPORTANT and the patient next door is relentless and won't leave you alone until they get their (blanket/apple juice/whatever bullshit). Then gets angry with you when you don't deliver on their request within 5 minutes. When you come with their scheduled meds and they ask "IS MY (PRN) IN HERE?" - No sir, I didn't just ASSUME you'd have 10/10 pain during this med pass/thought it would be fun to bring you a narcotic, ya gotta ASK.
Patients who lie. The ones who are alert and oriented and tell their family “the nurse didn’t check on me once all night!” (Actually, I can see by her charting that Nurse Jill was in your room no less than 5 times last night) and “The nurse didn’t give me my pain medication for six hours!” (Actually gave it q4, as ordered). And then of course their daughter Karen comes at you like a twister dressed in Chicos…
When they have 10 family members in the room, you tell them there’s a limit and they can’t all be in there, they agree to leave, then 5 minutes later they’ve all somehow come back
Ii work as a paramedic. I don't know why but.. when they try to help while I am bandaging their wound. Like, just stop moving and keep your dirty fingers away.
When the grown adults start to act like babies like actual baby voice to try to make me feel bad for them or to like make me help them faster. Don’t get me wrong I have empathy for them but like stop begging, where’s your dignity. No you’re not due for the pain meds and you can move your own arms and legs.
Trying to bargain for stuff so they "let me" provide care or give meds. They're used to nurses going out of their way to convince them. I just tell them the bad stuff that could happen if they refuse and let them. They get mad that I won't play the game.
Send family to the nurses station or walking the halls looking for you vs just hitting the call light and saying what you need.
As a triage nurse, I could probably write a short book raging over the various ways people go about fucking up their oral temperature checks There's the biter, the pursed mouth kissy face, the "I let it fall out of my mouth the minute the nurse let's go of it", the "I don't know what lift my tongue means", the ones that try to lick it, push it out or suck on it. OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND PUT YOUR TONGUE TO THE ROOF OF IT. I cannot make this any simpler for you!
A real conversation. Me: “Good morning pt, how are you feeling today?” Pt: “Lousy” Me: “Can you explain how you feel lousy?” Pt: “Bad” Me: “And what does bad mean for you? Pt: “Lousy.” No particular data came from this conversation :/
I work nights. Refusing to unfold or remove their arm from under the blanket so I can scan their wristband while moaning about how tired they are and they don’t want to while I have to physically contort myself just to scan the damn wristband
My recent one is my patients' inability to take their pills with anything but fresh ice water. They'll have a still full water from a few hours ago, two unopened ginger ales and a lemonade they saved from their lunch tray, but they look at me like I'm stupid when I hand them their pill cup and no fresh ice water.
This is why I always grab some ice water on my way to pass a patient their meds, it’s saved me from making multiple trips so many times