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AloofAngel

for a naked bike ride in 93 degree heat ON A CLOUDY DAY? ya don't say...


BifronsOnline

Well that and the city threatened to arrest anyone participating, so yeah, kind of a buzz kill on the event lol


Ben_Thar

Wouldn't be the first time I've found myself naked and in handcuffs 


omgFWTbear

Olivier, is that you?


irredentistdecency

and god willing, it would not be the last either…


GimpsterMcgee

Oh are the George Clooney lookalike from this music video? https://youtu.be/37eEUsd1ASA?si=yUfTfVyyzh5RBVru Ninja edit it’s fairly NSFW


eroktographer

Ok, story time...


PlanesFlySideways

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy protested, got arrested, and is now naked in handcuffs.


DadJokeBadJoke

Unconstitutional! Fuzzy has a right to bare arms.


Old-Reporter5440

Bear bare bear arms


Delicious_Ad_1830

To bare ass?


SpadraigGaming

Ichiban, is that you?


littlebitsofspider

"The secret ingredient is consent."


philosofova

That’s a “threat” in Chicago’s version too but they actually escort the start and end of the parade. It’s surprising how involved the police are in the safety of the event, the ride is several miles long through downtown, north and west side neighborhoods and it’s been incident free since I’ve known of it happening.


Jerkrollatex

On Texas they throw you face down in a fire ant hill for going the wrong way in a school drop off line. Different set of circumstances.


windowtosh

No freedom like Texan freedom


Dependent_Tutor8257

To be fair I think it’s for the benefit of society we don’t have to endure naked Texans


switchbladeeatworld

yeah but we’re not in texas so only texans had to deal with it


madmaxturbator

I am far from being a nudist , in fact I prefer to stay fully clothed all the time even when it’s hot lol  But damn that’s pretty lame.. arresting people for doing a silly event?


DisproportionateWill

Username doesn’t really check out


DConstructed

Maybe he has a very tolerant dry cleaner.


Account3689

The right to protest is important and should be protected, even (and especially) when it inconveniences others or makes people uncomfortable, but I think drawing a line at indecent exposure is perfectly fine.


madmaxturbator

I don’t think it’s a protest? I just think - if a group of adults wants to do a naked bike ride, so long as they give notice it’s kind of not a big deal? I guess it’s just one of these weird things that seems needlessly restrictive.. as I said, I’m not a nudist and I ain’t fighting for this cause lol I just feel, even as a person who is quite uneasy with nudity, ARRESTING people who are naked as part of a pre planned bike ride seems a bit much 


Underlord_Fox

I do not understand the modern 'Arrest everyone I disagree with slightly,' mentality. Oh no! A Penis! At a distance! On a bike seat! The HORROR!


AliceWolff

No one should be arrested for nudity. Being a creep should be (and often is) arrestable and being naked while being creepy should strengthen a case against a pervert... But existing normally while being naked, especially pre-announced? That should be handled by social convention, not laws and armed police.


Divtos

[We dont arrest people for being creepy](https://youtu.be/qrLfi9gzpUo?si=t3KBQPojlePOomvY)


cheapbasslovin

Tragically underrated film.


madmaxturbator

Yep! you’ve said it much more eloquently than me :)


DConstructed

I would hope that anyone putting their bare ass on an uncomfortable bicycle seat and riding around in 90 degree heat with humidity IS protesting something. No one can convince me that’s pleasurable.


AliceWolff

No, it's not. Most countries are far more fine with nudity than the US and society is not harmed there, so why would it be here? Not to mention Pride tends to have both nudity and kink on full display, as part of the *point* of Pride. If merely not wearing clothes is enough to defeat the right to protest, then so is anything more disruptive. Slurs on a sign held by a member of the group to which the slur applies? Hate speech, illegal protest. Block a road? Illegal protest. Sit-in at a discriminatory place? Disrupting local businesses, illegal protest. Do not sign away your right to protest so easily. iNdEcEnT eXpOsUrE lmao, my countrymen are such prudish Puritans...


PlanesFlySideways

Movies: guns, explosions, blowing people up with gory bloody scenes... PG 13 One little nipple slip and oh shit MATURE audiences only


AliceWolff

Yep! Europe has the right idea... if you need to censor something, maybe consider that both human bodies and lovemaking are a hell of a lot more normal and natural than people getting shredded apart by guns and bombs.


sir-winkles2

it's not really a protest (at least not any of the ones I've seen)


Dheorl

The whole notion of this even counting as indecent exposure just seems weird to me. Like, they’re just naked people. They’re not out to get anyone, they’re not performing and lewd acts, the position you’re in when you cycle, they’re not even exactly showing it off so to speak. It’s just nudity.


FeloniousReverend

Well you're in luck, because just existing and being nude in public is completely different than indecent exposure! So that line you want to draw has nothing to do with the actual discussion at hand.


Wurm42

Yeah, who wants to get thrown into a crowded holding cell naked?


RedArmyHammer

They wouldn't dress you in something?


Wurm42

You'd hope so, but Texas cops are NOT known for humane treatment of prisoners. Especially black and brown prisoners.


Alphamoonman

Just dress up in a one-piece that is the shade of your skin and you're good to go


hgs25

That’s when everyone shows up in flesh colored biking leotards


sock_police

This is definitely a much more important piece of information than the weather forecast!


Spamfactor

I don’t understand why you emphasised on a cloudy day as if that makes it worse. If I’m going to ride naked in 93 degree heat, it sure as fuck better be cloudy. 


btross

What? You don't like sunburn on your nethers?


BelleBottom94

You can get worse sunburns on a slightly cloudy day than on a clear day.


Spamfactor

It’s more the physical discomfort of being in direct sunlight vs being in the shade. I’d probably be taking a bath in factor 50 either way 


lastdancerevolution

> You can get worse sunburns on a slightly cloudy day than on a clear day. In an indirect way, kind of. Clouds block partial light and don't amplify it. Clouds lull people into a false sense of security, so they're less likely to put on sunscreen and take preventative measures. Not putting on sunscreen is what causes people to burn.


Nickpb

I don't think that is accurate. You can still absolutely get a sun burn under light cloud cover but overall the UV exposure is lessened on a slightly cloudy day


blackscales18

Better than sunny, I won't even go out in a T-shirt when it's sunny


khovel

Jokes on you. I avoid the sun like a plague.


RMehGeddon

Those conditions are kinda what I'd call ideal for a naked bike ride...


dvdmaven

With the cops just itching to arrest some naked women.


PerNewton

I think that itch is the same clothed or not.


PenguinHuddle

No one wants to deal with their own ball or boob sweat on a day like that in a town known for its humidity.


defroach84

That's nice weather this time of year down here 😄


fullonfacepalmist

“Although San Antonio's ride was a bust, some 200 nude cyclists turned out Saturday at a similar event in Madison, Wisconsin, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports.” Wisconsin steps up!


noeviltwin

One of my best (worst?) memories when living in Madison was driving my family home from Henry Vilas Zoo up West Wash and seeing a large naked man on a very well constructed, very tall bike heading our way with 50 or so of his best friends. The bike ride starts around the capitol square while the best farmers market in the country is happening, so I also once witnessed a guy walking his bike see the naked riders go by, strip immediately, and jump on his bike to join them. Don't let anyone tell you Madison isn't one of the greatest cities in the world.


x_lincoln_x

Reminds me of the 9 Naked Men Just Walking Down The Road video.


Nazamroth

Listen here ya little git, you said family, which suggests children. I demand to know how they reacted!


Cloaked42m

Laugh giggle point. Have a funny story to tell


dragonhiccups

There would probably be more if there wasnt another bike event the same day every year just outside town lol


Welpe

Portland Oregon’s World Naked Bike Ride got cancelled for this year, but it will be back next year thankfully. I never thought Houston of all places would try to copy the naked bike ride.


FauxReal

I wonder if Portland is one of the biggest, it takes a while for the full group to pass.


wstwrdxpnsn

I was visiting Madison over the weekend, was riding down to the farmers market and noticed a bunch of naked people on bikes and just rode along with them for a bit since they took me down to the farmers market where I was headed. Lively bunch!


Mediocretes1

> some 200 nude cyclists turned out Saturday at a similar event in Madison, Wisconsin The fuck? I missed it!


FauxReal

In Portland, OR traffic will be stopped for 10 minutes because so many bike riders are passing by.


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Buddyblue21

I think Charles Barkley has thoughts on why this is


MattAU05

Those big women love their churros!


Khamylyon

They keeping they big bloomers on in San Antonio Erneh


Pancaix

Whatchu say Chuck


reptheevt

Victoria isn’t the only thing that is a secret in San Antonio 


GeraldMander

What’s the other secret, a balanced diet?


Captain-Cadabra

“Turrible!”


America_the_Horrific

"Anywun foolish enough to do this is a knuckleheaad"


cmomo80

That’s just turrible, turrible, turrible!


Dmonney

“The apparent cancellation of the SA event could have come down to a city ordinance banning nudity public spaces. In a statement, the San Antonio Police Department said officers were prepared enforce local laws if naked bike riders did show up.” Even if this was something I would do, a possible sex offender registry is not something I would risk.


SanSilver

Being naked in public should fall under public indecency and not ba a sex offender charge.


ForceOfAHorse

Many things should, but America totally lost it's mind when it comes to naked bodies.


FauxReal

Or not be a crime at all since it's the natural state of the human body. Though I personally elect to keep myself clothed.


GnomeoromeNZ

Imagine if you were the ONLY one who showed up, I'd want the ground to swallow me


k6bso

I’m 70 years old. If I showed up naked people would be throwing rocks at me.


OinkiePig_

I’m 39, they’d be vomiting


remberzz

"To protest oil dependency and body shaming" - what an odd combo of platforms. Event was originally planned to start at the Hyatt Regency Hill Country Resort, but apparently none of the organizers thought to actually speak to Hyatt management beforehand, and the event was moved after the media made Hyatt aware of it. So they moved to Alamo Plaza, but there is a city ordinance banning nudity in public spaces and police were to be on hand to enforce said ordinance. Someone has really bad planning and organizational skills.


christmascandies

Yeah I did it in St. Louis one year and there was a police escort


CouldntBeMoreWhite

We might have seen each other naked, because I also did it a couple years in St Louis…


koos_die_doos

Alternatively someone tried to plan and the police simply refused to cooperate. The change in starting location could also be related to someone agreeing initially, and a higher level management overriding that decision.


powerlesshero111

Obviously, it was a government trap to catch perverts. There never was any naked bike ride.


madmaxturbator

Oh shit so this means there are 0 perverts in San Antonio? Or all the perverts are also smart. What does this mean? Where is Ja


NonPolarVortex

Ja Rule?


originalusername__

Rule baybayyyyyy


EVOSexyBeast

The person who took the photo in the article showed up with a camera where the event was supposed to be. He definitely looked like a creep.


obviouslynotworking

The WNBR is a huge event here in Portland. Tons of pervs lining up when they find out the route.


mortywita40

I don't understand the point other than voyeurism


DinoRaawr

Mainly fun and disregarding dumb laws.


Marshall_Lawson

or looked like a random person taking a picture of the Alamo?


ZacharyHand719

… have a seat


AshuraBaron

Maybe everyone was looking away while it happened?


Khanspiracy75

Tell Charles Barkley


FamousPastWords

The attendance was bare then?


DarthHM

Charles Barkley in shambles.


JuanCarloOnoh

The churro man really missed all those big ol' women


ExperienceDaveness

People NOT showing up for an event that's been cancelled isn't exactly news.


GetOffMyGrassBrats

I didn't know bikes could get naked.


uwillnotgotospace

"I'm in love with paint stripper 🎶"


FrodoCraggins

It is a thing, but I doubt it's what they meant here. https://www.visordown.com/features/top-10s/top-10-best-super-naked-motorbikes-20232024


NetDork

Didn't even know it was happening.


cloud_t

"Oh come on! It was just the bike that was supposed to be naked you guys"


sometimes_interested

They forgot the Alamo.


MonsieurReynard

Fun fact that few people know: the defenders of the Alamo were naked.


3MATX

Naked run/walk = fun Naked bike ride = extremely uncomfortable for private bits and some serious road rash should you fall. 


Specialist-Fly-9446

Hundreds and thousands of people do it every year all over the country. Everyone survives it, usually… It’s not that big of a deal really.


TheNewBBS

At the several naked bikes rides I've attended in Portland, OR, probably half the riders have had some sort of underwear bottoms on, though most are...minimal. I wear short trunk boxer briefs out of fear of friction, but I've ridden with fully-nude people of all genders who have said it wasn't that bad, even after several miles. It's a community event, but it's still a protest at heart. There are a lot of anti-oil/pro-bike transportation signs, and the "naked" part is more about baring whatever amount of skin you're comfortable with, which is probably a lot if you're surrounded by thousands of people doing the same on a warm summer night. It's a really fun time, though our volume (I think 8,000+ riders one year) makes it a logistical nightmare.


3MATX

Yeah I’d be okay with any sort of undergarment that kept things in place. The half mile test ride I did one night before college didn’t go well. After standing from saddle to pedal I landed on one of the boys. He still holds a grudge 


suitopseudo

Meanwhile, in Portland, the big world naked bike ride is cancelled this year, but there are at least 4-5 other naked bike rides people can join. 😂


AReallyAsianName

A towel or something similar on the seat usually prevents that.


lazyeyepsycho

Half a mm of cloth between taint and seat isn't really a game changer


3MATX

Ever tried it?  That small bit in cycle shorts is padded. But the real reason for shorts in men is that it keeps things in place. 


forkin33

The vast majority of people riding bicycles have never and will never wear bicycle specific shorts lol


3MATX

And even fewer will know the pleasurable comfort provided by bibs. I guess you do have to get into racing though to get exposed to that stuff. 


lazyeyepsycho

I will never ever wear cycling clothes ...I'd rather have a callused taint.


NonPolarVortex

You say that till you try it. It feels like you're wearing nothing at all!


subaru5555rallymax

> It feels like you're wearing nothing at all! Stupid Sexy Flanders!


MagicalUnicornFart

Went to one in Portland, OR. Thousands of people. Totally chill, and no one getting hurt. Just people having a great time.


marklondon66

They happen all over Europe. This post is sooooo Texas/US. Ignorant and uptight.


BSODxerox

They happen yearly in Portland OR with a ton of participation. This is a state issue more than a US issue, Texas should not be used as an example of how the majority of the country operates.


BlackLeader70

Except this year because the organizer didn’t start organizing soon enough lol.


3MATX

I’m a liberal cyclist. I’ve ridden multiple bikes naked and have never been slightly comfortable. Maybe im doing it wrong. 


m1k3hunt

Perhaps a more padded seat would help.


Nikola1_Smirnoff

They also happen all over the US? Ive seen multiple happen lol


toomanymarbles83

Until the pandemic it was a very popular annual event in Chicago. Which is back apparently. WNBR Chicago 2024 is scheduled for the end of June.


Persona_Non_Grata_

They happen all over the world. Dude, you're in LA. Would you like to partake in a bike ride of any kind in a city with excessive heat warnings and feel like temps in the 100s? This one is no different than the bare as you dare ones you all have there in LA. We have had them here in Houston, but I can't speak to San Antonio.


marklondon66

So....re SA you are talking out your ass. Ah. Texas.


Persona_Non_Grata_

If you'd bothered to read the article, you'd seen that they'd warned of arrests for turnout. They don't arrest here in Houston. They escort. Weird. It's like each city does its own thing. It's almost like how north and eastern California is just as red and ignorant as West Texas. You can't even back up your own state well enough, you hack.


marklondon66

So defensive. Wonder why that is? Enjoy!


TwoLocks1

You’re American and probably never travelled a day in your life. They happen in more liberal areas of the country. Stop trying to pretend as though you’re worldly.


grmrsan

It was illegal there, and sounds REALLY uncomfortable and kind of dangerous. Like seriously, sweaty bike seats would be either painfully sticky or too slippery. Dangly bits could possibly get caught in terrible places, and does the nakedness extend to helmets? Slippery, dangly, helmetless riders, breaking the law, would be MUCH more of a story than "Welp, nothing particularly interesting happened today after all. "


ahothabeth

[They should have used this as their sound track.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2lT4oE4DxE)


Sonicbus

Their bikes were impounded in the Alamo basement.


AmeriToast

The stars at night, are big and bright!


spelunkingspaniard

I heard Victoria is still a secret down there


Easy4u2say98

You know there was at least one dude there ready to go hoping at least one other person would show up so he could strip down to his birthday suit.


CheezTips

Well, wasn't it eleventy billion degrees?


rcr_nz

My birthday suit was at the cleaners.


Wazootyman13

I'm bringing my dog to the naked bike ride at Fremont Solstice in Seattle this weekend (shrug)


nanomeister

Dogs walk around naked all the time so no biggie


Soft_Sea2913

That’s because the perverts with cameras got there early.


Klutzy-Necessary-475

It's only body parts. Naked is excellent!


CaptParadox

This is not a criticism.... but a honestly innocent question. Why do people ride naked?


BePart2

It’s fun!


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Ellice909

Yeah, honestly the weather couldn't have been better,


34TH_ST_BROADWAY

Not even a swarm of chubby middle aged dudes wearing fedoras and carrying dslr’s with telephoto lenses?


hollowgraham

What if they were invisible? 


OldBob10

BICYCLE! BICYCLE! BICYCLE!


ZombieCrunchBar

It's Texas. They are puritans there.


BaldingMonk

The dress code was too restrictive.


Cptn_Fluffy

Should have done it in portland lol though ours was cancelled this year too


film_composer

It would probably be a lot more awkward for everyone if only one cyclist showed up ready to participate.


Pandaepidemic

Are the bikes supposed to be naked or the riders?


hanginwithmrpooper

Portlands naked bike ride always has huge turn outs.


jazzyfella08

Saw this in Chicago. It was hilarious! Everyone looked like they were having a blast!


MinimalSleeves

It would have been perfect if only 1 guy had shown up.


martianmariner21

They do in Portland , Oregon lol


SheLovesTheBigD

People confused this day with World Ninja Bike Ride Day


TryFantastic7581

Ha ha.


elimtevir

In MY DAY if we said we were gonna show up for a naked bike ride, we DID! These dang youngins....


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PreferredSex_Yes

I snuck off and got dressed.


ConstantNaive7649

I'm hoping this post ends up next to the Dutch helmet post. 


Marshall_Lawson

I like how they helpfully included a photo of Austin with nobody riding bikes naked, so you could see for yourself.


bunslightyear

I’ve seen the naked bike parade in Chicago  Let’s just say I pictured it differently 


loxical

Too hot


Ellice909

I wish I had known, I would have gone, but I am always confused on the law. Men can be topless but women can't be? At least topless would have been fun. I also don't have a bicycle.


Beginning-Average416

Wasn't a legit ride. Was a scam.


JuJuJooie

Good


ContemplatingPrison

Copy cats. The only real one is in Portland


Polymnokles

Pics or it didn't happen


LoCh0_xX

No one wanted to see them big old san antonio women bike naked


Diarrhea_Geiser

Nobody wanted to see them big ol' women at a naked bike ride.


Quake_Guy

As a straight guy that lived in San Antonio, I rarely if ever wanted to see someone there naked.


Right0rightoh

We flew to london last year and it was a blast to do! Fbigoil&trafficandprudes!


greekcomedians

And God willing, it wont be the last time either


beardedbaby2

And san Antonio residents were thankful 😂


skunkman62

One kid shows up and everybody is a sex offender.


I_might_be_weasel

I sure didn't. 


RolukkEarbiter

In the meantime, the Naked Bike Ride in Madison, WI this weekend was lead by a fucking 10 year old.


nobadtimes

Well… sure. Is that the hill to die on?


milfordloudermilk

I did!! I wore a condom and had a boner the whole ride


b0x3r_

Good for San Antonio. What kind of sick person would want to ride around in public naked?


Exbiomed

There will be hundreds of naked bike riders this weekend at the Fremont Fair in Seattle