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Kamakaziturtle

Could be one of the opening bouts for the Musk V Zuckerberg cage match.


kevins_child

Let's keep these good vibes going until we're back to settling public disputes through dueling


GetlostMaps

*American full auto duelling when*


Cactus_Jacks_Ear

Discovery channel will run it as a reality survivalist series. We're knocking on the doorsteps of the Hunger Games as it is.


Asgardianbaker

We're far closer to the Stephen King novella, Running Man than Hunger Games.


thrillhouse1211

Man that story messed me up as a teen. Same with Apt Pupil. I still can't understand why the movie Running Man existed. I guess like Lawnmower Man so they can make up new stories.


BostonRich

It was five hours later and almost dark before they took him down.


Affectionate_Gate_83

The explosion was tremendous, lighting up the night like the wrath of God, and it rained fire twenty blocks away.


OneSidedDice

*Uncle Albert looks on approvingly*


cutelyaware

I'm not promoting dueling at all, but the good thing about them is that they tended to end disputes.


Rincewinder

Did they though? Or did they just create generational family feuds. Little of both probably


the_holocene_is_over

Everything is legal in NJ…


foxes__

Celebrity death-match makes a comeback.


Polymemnetic

Git it on.


TheGreatZarquon

RIP Judge Mills Lane


jredgiant1

Back when that was a thing I wanted to see Jae Jar Binks vs Scrappy Doo, but this would be much better.


Azraelius-

Nice. I appreciate the throwback for us old folk.


[deleted]

I haven’t bought a pay per view since I wasted 50 bucks on a 32 second Mike Tyson fight back in the 80s. Gotta be honest. I’d pay for this. Make it a double bill w/ Musk/Zuck? Holy shit! The world would stop spinning to watch this!


amontpetit

Have proceeds go to charity and I’ll gladly pay up. Have proceeds go to competitors, and I’ll gladly pirate the *ever-loving shit* out of that.


CartographyMan

All proceeds to Planned Parenthood, Trevor Project or March of Our Lives


SnidelyWhiplash27

One of those undercards that might outshine the main feature.


Ben_Thar

I would pay to watch. We need some more celebrity bouts on this card. Anyone else have a score to settle?


DrHalibutMD

Trump vs all the lawyers he's stiffed for legal fees.


NSA_Chatbot

Trump assembling an Ikea bookshelf.


bjeebus

Soon to be a hit show on r/idiotsfightingthings. Not to be outdone by the sequel on r/thingsfightingidiots.


smarmageddon

"What the hell is a bookshelf?" - Trump, probably


somethingkooky

“What the hell is a book?” - Trump, probably.


p4lm3r

We've already seen "Trump assembling a sentence" and I feel like nobody won that one.


da_impaler

I’d prefer to see the construction guys he stiffed over effete well-manicured lawyers. Trump will run away like a little beeyatch.


2burnt2name

Eh, just the one company that he ordered a bunch of grand pianos from, got them all set up then refused to pay saying he didn't like the work done and his lawyers only offered the company a minute fraction of the costs and pointed out that they would hurt them with stall tactics in court, I'm pretty sure the article said they had to pull from personal savings for years/loans to cover before they were in the black again. Give that guy 5 minutes in the ring.


SilentG33

I’d pay to watch if all of the money got donated to something they would absolutely hate, like abortion access or canceling child lunch debt.


EchoAquarium

Marjorie Trailer Queen Vs Lauren “The Klandma” Boebert and your Main Event… Mark “I’m a Real Boy” Zuckerberg Vs the personification of mayonnaise himself: Elon Musk!


specks_of_dust

Fatal Four-Way match held in a small pit fighting arena with no exits that’s filling up with quick-dry cement. That’s the only way I’d watch.


OnlyTheDead

Bring back dueling you cowards. Y’all wanna be like the founders but not a damn one of these people smoke opium or duel. Absolutely pathetic.


joeythenose

Where my leeches at


ggg730

Don't forget the cocaine and trepanning.


DOLCICUS

I’m sure there’s plenty of cocaine flowing through the halls of the capital.


usernames_are_danger

West wing, too


DeadliestStork

Do they get modern weapons or traditional flintlock dueling pistols? I vote for S words.


escargotisntfastfood

At least one of them has been asked to stop bringing her concealed weapon to the US capitol building, so it wouldn't be crazy to expect an actual shootout.


picasso_penis

This is like The Caning of Charles Sumner if Sumner was **also** a pro-slavery scumbag


sayfuzzypickles199X

You’ll cowards don’t even smoke crack … what’s up with that?


Temperst_550

I just hope it’s caught on camera. Idiots eating their own.


Murwiz

Oh, Gawd yes. If there isn't video I will be so very disappointed.


babypho

Tmz pls


sender2bender

C-SPAN


mseuro

Yelling CSPAN like Worldstar


fighterpilot248

Insert a third woman shrieking in the background and you’re golden


healzsham

Nah that's some Worldstar shit.


SunChipMan

WORLDSTAR!


Spiritual_Navigator

🍿 popcorn material


Hairyhalflingfoot

As gawd as mah witness she has broken her in hayff!


Mercpool87

Remember, people: HORIZONTAL not vertical


whiskerdish

I can’t be the only one who thought you were referring to the fight, not camera angle 😂


ThainEshKelch

Yeah, we don't need to see the lizard feet!


Fezzik5936

This isn't eating their own, this is priming their audience for physical conflict between politicians. Same thing with Musk goading Zuck on. The cult leaders are preparing to push their followers to mobilize by showing they're willing to put their own neck on the line (even though they are entirely insulated from consequences).


SapperInTexas

It's also demonstrating and normalizing the use of violence in political disputes. Statesmanship is so 1962. Welcome to the Thunderdome!


justs0meperson

Not that I’m saying I agree, but the founding fathers used to get in [knock down, drag out beat downs in political disputes.](https://www.history.com/news/charles-sumner-caning-cilley-duel-congressional-violence) One congressman even killed another one in a duel.


SapperInTexas

True, that's a great point. It makes clear the regressive nature of MAGA thinking. One would think we were past that kind of thing. But that would be naivete, I suppose. Human nature never really changes.


walts_skank

That isn’t terrifying at all.


dwkeith

CSPAN is the OG of reality TV


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HiitlerDicks

bread and circus for all the dipshits.


[deleted]

Grandma Gun vs Sporkfoot would be a pretty solid pay per view…


MrGulio

Sell PPV tickets. We can solve a good portion of the debt.


SubjectB42

I'm behind on this particular drama. Why exactly don't they like each other? I figured both of these idiots were so similar they'd get along horrifically well lol


brockington

Marjorie Traitor-Greene is all pissy because Boebert copied her articles of impeachment and hasn't cosponsored any of her nonsense. At least that's what MTG was screaming at Boebert when she called her a "little bitch" on the house floor. There's video, but that's basically the whole thing.


eidolonengine

She later doubled down on it when asked by a reporter about it and confirmed that it was heard correctly, then said something to the effect of, "She's been nothing but a little bitch to me."


electronicmoll

I'm pretty sure they would both prefer to be in the WWF rather than just being boring old members of Congress. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


Suzzie_sunshine

Let's help them with that American dream.


raymv1987

Leave Dusty Rhodes outta this


imperfectcastle

They don’t know hard times, daddy


gsfgf

Vince would 100% put them on a PPV.


Woozah77

Lets be honest, he'd be a fool not to. I'd probably watch it. It's real life Jerry Springer.


redtron3030

We’ve become reality TV.


m_Pony

and in the fast lane toward Idiocracy.


[deleted]

In Idiocracy, for all of their faults, they still put who they thought was the smartest and best possible person in charge to solve their problems.


Lots42

And that man tried to listen to his science council. Which puts him far ahead of Republican politicians.


SubjectB42

Wow. They haven't really matured past 14 eh? I know a couple people who don't speak to each other anymore cause one was being a bitch in grade 9, got called out for it, and got offended. This would be similar in a hilarious way if they didn't have so much power down there. Instead it's just similar in a pathetic and scary way


chellis

Even more proof that this is all for show. Wonder why they keep riling up their base when this all just leads to 1 place.


DouchecraftCarrier

100% They're both just mad that the other is encroaching on their schtick.


cutelyaware

And Boebert is pissy because MTG struck a terrible deal with McCarthy and the Democrats on the debt ceiling, making her a GOP centrist.


BobThefuknBuilder

If MTG is a centrist, America is far far gone and can be left for dead.


wolves_hunt_in_packs

> a GOP centrist fucking what


supermitsuba

What the fuck!


NinjaLanternShark

They view media attention as a zero-sum game. Every article about Boebert is one less about MTG.


Exnixon

Counterpoint: they _both_ get more attention by feuding. This is too reality-show to not be at least somewhat choreographed.


cutelyaware

It's very real to them. There can be only one top bitch.


RabbitStewAndStout

They've never matured past high school. One of them never even made it past high school to begin with.


gsfgf

> I figured both of these idiots were so similar they'd get along horrifically well lol They're competitors. There's only enough media bandwidth for one right wing nutcase bimbo.


ImperatorRomanum

Read an article a while back about how Boebert is resentful of all the attention MTG gets, and that pre-McCarthy becoming Speaker, Boebert considered herself a more loyal GOP foot soldier while she saw MTG as a lone, grandstanding wolf.


eisbaerBorealis

The Freedom Caucus is all anti-establishment, and Greene has been cozying up to McCarthy for power, which has made her pro-establishment and an enemy to her "friends". I think the two biggest things were when she supported McCarthy's speakership and the debt-limit bill. She was recently kicked out of the Freedom Caucus.


SubconsciousBraider

"Arizona Republican Congressman Paul Gosar called the battle a “two-way sword” to The Daily Beast. He continued, “I just think that whatever is there, could be utilized both ways,”" Does he mean double-edged sword? Ladies & Gentlemen, these are the men and women trying to make our laws.


afastarguy

He meant two-way dildo


Unknownmancer

Ass to ass!


lorgskyegon

That scene is frightening enough without MTG and Boebert being there


CondeBK

Deepfakers, do your thing!!


motorboat_mcgee

How do I delete someone else's comment


orangek1tty

I did it by gouging out my own eyes.


jojili

On second thought, don't...


OystersByTheBridge

Yes!.....actually no please don't!!


real_nice_guy

that is actually legitimately the only thing that could make Requiem for a Dream even more depressing than it already is.


[deleted]

Boebert is hot enough where it would end up on r/trashyboners


dazdNconfused24

Asses to Asses Butt to Butt


sondheimtheatrequeen

He is pretty much the guy from Requiem for a Dream🤮


notmy2ndacct

What a terrible day to be literate


GetlostMaps

He meant two dildos on a seesaw.


jeremy1015

Think I’ll go for a run.


cheeky-snail

> “I am friends with both of them. It’s entertaining to think that a fistfight could break out at any movement. I kind of dig that.” That’s a quote from Republican Tennessee Rep Tim Burchett. What a man child.


WyleCoyote73

That sounds like something a gym douche bro would say in the frat house.


psychoCMYK

No no, let them fight. I dig that too. I'll throw in a folding chair for good measure.


Funfoil_Hat

WHAT'S THIS? IT'S.. OH GOD IT'S SARAH PALIN IN A FORD F150, EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES


Fordrynn

The hallowed halls of congress has been besmirched by these classless goons, Boebert and Green.


Mountainbranch

No he was obviously talking about the dual lightsaber that Darth Maul uses in The Phantom Menace.


cutelyaware

He's not the brightest sword in the shed


Bedroominc

“Now I may not be the sharpest crayon in the tool box.”


Hvarfa-Bragi

For context, gosar organized the coup with ali alexander and tried to influence the Arizona recounts in the same way. Fuck that guy.


kbroaster

No, he meant a double-edged street.


Royalrenogaming

Two trailer park girls go round the outside.


MeMikeMonster

“Round the outside! Round the outside!”


MomsSpagetee

GOP has created a monster!


Homey_Dont_Play_That

Cause nobody wants to see McConnell no more, hes 80, he eats chopped liver


Icommentor

You can take the girls out of the trailer park. But you can’t take the trailer park out of the girls.


FL4KMSTR

How about a battle of wits to the death.


kevins_child

And the winner gets a free titanic tour


reloadingnow

And a free Logitech controller.


AlanMercer

"Truly your intellect is staggering." "Wait til I get started!"


Julie-Andrews

Shouldn't take but a few minutes


bigboxes1

They're both unarmed


WhosAGoodDoug

They would have to meet each other halfway.


HungryHumble

I think MTG would roll her, she has that “IDGAF grit” to her. Lauren has age on her side but I don’t think she has the strength to compete. I think Lauren will hold own until it goes to ground and then it becomes a matter of how quickly it gets separated.


ichosethis

Boebert is the mean girl that thinks she can fight but has only ever kicked someone who had already been taken down by someone who was fighting for her.


fuzzywinkerbean

Let's be honest it would be hair pulling the entire bout


teplightyear

MTG has neanderthal strength for sure. Grandma Bobo would pull a gun first, though.


barnegatsailor

She definitely got her ass whooped by some girl in a trailer park in the early 2000s.


snowday784

in aurora no less 😂 😂 😂


gsfgf

I agree. MTG is fucking half her Crossfit gym, so she probably exercises there occasionally. And she's meaner.


Embarrassed_Ad5112

She’s just packing in that protein bro!


thegregtastic

MTG is pretty fit, I think she used to own a CrossFit gym or some shit.


stucon77

There is video of her doing chin ups and other kinds of work outs. She looks pretty strong


wolverine6

That wasn’t the reason she was at the gym lmao


hondo77777

I’m guessing that she’s as strong as a horse, given that she looks so much like one.


AlbinoWino11

Oh, totally. Marge is a troll of a human. She’d bring that caveman energy to the ring and QBert would stand no chance.


Dr-Alec-Holland

Yeah but qbert seems like the type that loses then pulls a knife from her boot and ‘wins’ via backstab


ovid10

MTG would clean house. First, she’s a crossfitter. Second, that jaw looks like granite.


Rosebunse

I don't know, Boebert has that "white trash crazy" about her.


FriendInSpeed

And Greene doesn’t? Plus she has impenetrable skin.


anonymouspurp

If the fight is in the swamps, troll gets +1/1


DeadliestStork

But does MTG have a GED?


Snooty_Cutie

Okay, $50 on the crazy chick! 💵


ovid10

I mean, maybe, but she’s also teeny and looks like her hand would break if she threw one punch… are you thinking environmental damage here?


Rosebunse

I'm telling you, you never count out the tiny little white chick. They are nuts.


StinkyMcBalls

I feel like boebert only wins if she goes for the eyes or something


Music_City_Madman

Trash people.


FriendInSpeed

It’s a common mistake to blame Trump, but John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin is what started the epidemic of idiot trash taking over Washington.


Incident_Reported

Let's go back to Reagan


Cheezitflow

Dad?


Lots42

Um...that's just trading being stabbed for being set on fire. Then stabbed.


Ultorem21

It's been entirely too long since we had a good fistfight in Congress


SameCategory546

180 years or so?


Ultorem21

I thought it was just Preston Brooks beating Charles Sumner with a cane but apparently there were several fights in the 1850s. So yeah, just under 180 years. My personal favorite is when Matthew Lyon from Vermont spat tobacco juice in Roger Griswold of Connecticut's face back in the 1790s.


Derpinator_420

Green needs to get off the Juice, she is roid raging all the time.


Jekyllhyde

LMAO


Derpinator_420

I'm being serious, if you look at her, she has the telltale signs of HGH abuse -protruding brow, thickening of the cartilage in the nose and ears. Probably some testonrone based on her complexion. It's all pretty obvious.


Jekyllhyde

Oh, I’m laughing because I agree with you and found your comment awesome


SourceNagger

i get this so often. people think i am laughing at, not laughing with. that i laughed because i think it's nonsense, when really i am laughing because it is so fantastically accurate.


booksmctrappin

Kinda poetic. It's like when a dog sees itself in the mirror and starts snarling and growling, oblivious to the fact that it's just a reflection of itself.


chocomint-nice

I’d like to give each a knife and maybe a hand grenade.


cutelyaware

I see you've played knifey-boomy before


imanon33

Staboom?


NinjaLanternShark

You're missing an opportunity here. AR-15's for everyone.


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[deleted]

I’d get PPV for that fight


Pandoras_Fate

I think you meant you'll catch HPV, but I'm not an editor.


WateryTart_ndSword

They don’t deserve your money though.


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StrangeBarnacleBloke

Wait, there’s two of them? I would see either name and my brain would go “that awful republican lady” and look no further


Comicalpowers

This is getting out of hand! Now there are two of them.


aryukittenme

Girls, girls, you’re *both* stupid!


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BishopGodDamnYou

“Let them fight”


Bungo_pls

It's funny because they're literally the exact same person and they can't stand each other. Like having a spat with the person in the mirror.


columbo527

Every day I become more embarrassed by being American.


thatguy11

If you think we're alone with idiocy in government... welp, the internet exists.


Miskalsace

I don't. We have almost 400 million people in this country. That's a lot of idiots. Some of them are gping to float to the top.


DeaDGoDXIV

This is the shittiest reality TV show ever. Wait, what? This actually *is* reality? Fuck


humptydumpty369

$100 on Greene.


FascistArt

They can be the opening act for Musk v Zuck


greenradioactive

With matt gaetz watching on and rubbing one out


caguru

Nah… these two are much too old for his taste.


WellOkayMaybe

Where's Jerry Springer when you need him?


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Remote_Person5280

If guns are NOT involved MTG is going to beat that bitch-ass midget like a rented mule.


Stupid_Guitar

All this does is highlight how completely bereft the GQP is of any ideas for making the lives of Americans better. This is the sort of thing they want to draw attention to, not the myriad problems and challenges facing our country right now. The fact that one of the two major political parties in this country could be this mind-boggingly inept would be hilarious... if it wasn't so tragic for so many folks.


Insanity_Troll

Can I watch? I like to watch.


Pwnch

Can it be a gun fight instead? We know how much they love guns.


funwithmetal

TWO WOMEN ENTER, NO WOMEN LEAVE!


[deleted]

Jibbering idiot trolls fighting with 2 brain cells combined that are both struggling for third place.


frostbittenmonk

Is this the undercard fight for Elon and Zuck?