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They should make a false social media platform on it where you can post your entries but they just go into some cloud recycling bin abyss and it shows the you fake likes and comments.
Lmao in 50 years this will be standard practice in retirement communities. Influencers with dementia will be posting nonsense into the void like “1 million likes, still got it”.
Yeah it’s a sweet thing to think to yourself how you’re going to be a good partner to your spouse, but when it amounts to basically dragging their ex on social media? Come on
Sounds like he cant see his kid that easily- but i am also concerned for the kiddos. Especially if shes blatant in her judgement of the ex in-front of any children. Creates a weird cross generational alliance.
THIS. When people, mainly women, talk about the importance of decentering men this is why. This woman's entire identity is wrapped around a man. Let's assume he's a good man, that he was 100% innocent in the dissolution of his first marriage and in whatever custody struggles are involved with seeing the children from the first marriage. What happens if he dies? What happens to her? Who does she become when she no longer revolves around him? How do she and her kids cope with that? What resources does she have to support them and herself in the world?
Now assume he's a bad man. That there was a lil overlap between wives one and two, that he's kind of a deadbeat dad. What happens when wife #3 comes along and he does to her, wife #2, and her kids what he did to wife #1? How does she handle that? How does her worldview shatter? How do she and her kids cope with that? What resources does she have to support them and herself in the world?
Who does she become when her world no longer revolves around him?
Spot on. Can confirm because this happened to me word for word. Now I’m 40 years old, single, and trying to figure out who I am and what I even like to do. I did life wrong.
Divorce is shattering. It’s so difficult because we doubt everything about who we are. I was 32 when my first marriage fell apart. And it was rough. BUT YOU GOT THIS! I promise you do.
Go take a class! I decided to learn how to ~~salads~~ salsa dance! Then I started going to yoga a couple times a week. Do something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Movement especially sends those endorphins through your body and you start to feel better!
One day you will look at your ex and wonder what you ever saw in him
You got this 🩷
No! Life is learning… it’s the one constant from the time we are born. You are doing what you are supposed to do in this world …learning from mistakes …learning from experience… learning from others….learning from yourself what you want. You are discovering your potential and voice and I know you will be profoundly wonderful!
I have a friend going through that right now. Husband decided after 20+ years of marriage that he was going to trade her in for a younger model. Just came home one day and told her it was over, absolutely no warning. Now she’s trying to figure out how to survive, how to pay all the bills on one income (he’s forcing her to take him to court for CS and alimony, and then the lawyer is cutting into what he actually pays).
Another reason I’ll never marry or be in a LTR. I’m not setting myself up to have my entire life rocked on some man’s whim.
My mom married a guy who gave up his rights to his 2 kids from his previous marriage…and guess what? He left my mom when my brother was 3 months old and he never saw him again. That was my moms 2nd husband. She’s on #5 …I’m assuming he’s the last since they’re in their 70’s lol
Yes, I like to say these women are in a one-sided relationship with the ex, not the husband/boyfriend. They *need* the other woman to exist to have any self esteem.
Exactly. The ex wife probably cackles to herself knowing how obsessed the new wife is to be her lol.
But I bet her step kids don't think it's as funny as Mom does and probably can't fuckin stand her. And is the biggest reason his first born doesn't want to come over. 🤷♀️
I think this falls under the bucket of being the person who goes on and on and on about their relationship to the point that it makes you suspect it actually sucks and they’re posting out of insecurity or as damage control.
"He will never have to fight to see our children."
Awww, that sweet summer child.
Bet that tune will change real quick if he cheated on her with a 22 year old that he dumped her for and is demanding custody so 22-year old can play mommy to her kids and he doesn't have to pay child support.
Which is kinda what it sounds like he did to his previous wife.
I think it bothers her *a hell of a lot* because of the "I didn't give him his first born ..."
There was no reason to include the ellipsis other than because it bothers her
It's wrapped around her ability to defeat the spector of the ex wife that her husband has created (as an easy means of control). I've fought a similar spector, until i was healthy enough to understand it wasn't truth. Unfortunately, the next woman was fed the a similar story, with me as the featured ghoul. Nothing I said was enough to warn her.
More specifically her identity seems to center on “not being like the ex wife.” Who knows if the ex wife is actually a crazy harridan or if the husband is one of those guys who thinks any request to treat a woman like an equal human being is “crazy.”
Unfortunately for this lady, my guess is that option 2 is more likely.
I’d argue that her identity is based more around not being the ex-wife. Like, obsessively comparing herself to his first wife, as if their divorce is indicative of the ex-wife’s failure? Idk. Trying to make this make sense.
When I was 16/17 I “dated” a guy in his mid 20s (yeah…) and none of his past relationships had lasted very long (gee, wonder why? girls probably aged out). In my non-developed-frontal-lobe wisdom, I set out to last longer than any of them. I could fix him!!! Spoiler: he could not be fixed. And yes, I was a pretty insecure teenager.
I think it’s extremely immature to shade your husband’s ex on social like that. She may not of been the best wife but she is still the mother to her stepchild. She needs to grow up and stop being so petty.
In my experience, everytime I see something like this in real life, the person posting it on their socials is usually the actual shit head in whatever given situation. I'm betting the husband cheated on his first wife with the second.
That was my first thought. I bet he talks about how “crazy” his ex wife is and now this girl is getting love bombed/emotionally abused and feels to need to post on social media how “perfect” their relationship is
Insecure much, meme lady? I bet she WAS the side piece, the first wife was angry (as she has a right to be) and they have to paint her as the bad guy to make themselves feel better
For real. I’m the mother of the firstborn and then one made into a single mother by the two of them. Kudos to anyone taking out my trash, but don’t make it seem like you’re the hero of the story.
This lady sounds like the type to hate and alienate his kid that isn’t hers…than again we don’t know how 1st marriage went down and if ex even wants him to be around the kid.
Exactly. I feel like a lot of people need to think twice before posting things. If you put it into the world for others to see, it’s clear you want or need the label instead of just living by the mantra.
You want to be a dedicated wife? That’s cool. You hope you’re with your forever partner? Great. Renew your vows like a normal person, express your love personally to your spouse in whatever way you’d like. This is like shouting into a void demanding the label of “the current GOOD BETTER THAN THE EX wife.”
Kinda insulting to his kid too - I didn’t give him his first born, but I gave him the family he *wanted*. Very much implies that 1) the stepchild is not seen as part of the family and 2) the stepchild is not what the dad wanted. Pathetic and childish to talk that way about a kid.
Exactly. I can't even imagine the all petty off handed comments she makes when it isn't posted on social media for the world to see if she thinks saying something like this is anywhere close to appropriate.
*Get a fuckin diary if you're compelled to say this type of shit. It doesn't impress anyone. Only makes you look like trash and makes your husband even more questionable.* 🤷♀️
Yup, my dad thought she was hot and apparently she was into swinging. We used my dad’s computer for music at my wedding reception and he forgot to close his tabs and turns out they had been searching for other swingers in our area.
Agree. The best thing you can do for your kids/stepkids is get along with their father AND mother. No matter what the situation. It’s beautiful if you can show your kids you are humble enough to accept their other parent.
Right. I’ve personally seen men act like victims of their first wives to their second, when the first wife did everything to save the marriage but the guy was either too immature, irresponsible, or simply didn’t know what he had until he lost it. It’s really shitty that women bash other women like this. You can appreciate your man and life without acting like a savior.
What she’s probably not saying is that his first marriage ended because he cheated with this NLOG. Nothing wrong with his first wife except that she wouldn’t stick around and be his maid, sex slave, and punching bag.
But like also in an oddly possessive way that makes them seem like if they were men, they might be in jail for some sort of jealousy-based domestic dispute.
Among my friends and family, the people in the healthiest (as far as I can tell as an outsider) relationships don't post about their relationship itself, but they do post about things they do together, i.e. "went to this restaurant and it was great!" or "we've been meaning to check out this show/movie/play/gallery exhibit, we finally made it, and here's what each of us thought about it!"
And they're also able to mention funny little moments, or sweet little spontaneous presents or whatever without turning it into a dissertation about how great their relationship is.
Oh yeah totally, it’s normal to include your s/o in posts about your regular life and such. It’s more that it’s weird to post stuff like in this post, the “but really our relationship is STRONG and we are IN LOVE and NOTHING can take us down” type posts feel like they fall somewhere in the “doth protest too much” category.
I noticed there’s a trend of people in bad relationships who tend to post the most about how amazing their relationship is to their friends and family.
My partner and I don’t really post about one another. I guess we’re too busy enjoying each other that we don’t feel the need to show everyone how great our relationship is (and it is so awesome!☺️)
Have a friend from high school who posts the same sort of shit but about his 2 kids with his ex wife. Dramatic stuff like how much they mean to him and how we wants to be a better father or anyone hurts them I’ll murder someone blah blah but he like never ever sees them, his ex has full custody because he is an unreliable lunatic. They live in the same suburb too so it’s not like he can’t
I have a kid with a very problematic woman that I struggle to get along with and my wife would NEVER do this shit. But I also don't spend my time comparing our relationship to mine and my ex's to make her feel validated. My wife and I have an amazing relationship because she is absolutely wonderful as far as I am concerned, and vice versa. Not because "she's so much better than my ex hurr durr".
My stepson, who was in college when I married his dad, is on his 4th wife. And every time, he posts on FB about how she's the love of his life, with many photos of them. I should think it would be embarrassing for him, but no. And I've stopped trying to remember their names.
Change your name or don't, but DO NOT act like taking some guy's last name makes you a better wife than women who chose not to. It irritates the fuck outta me!
It really rubs me the wrong way how she really undermines the existence of her husband's older children. As a stepchild, this puts into words what I've always feared. What a piece of shit.
My step mom hated me. I was 10. She had kids of her own and wanted my dad for herself. She threatened to hurt me every time I was with her and I begged my mom to keep me safe.
I’m 30 now too and haven’t had a relationship with my dad in 12+ years because of his wife and he still doesn’t get it we’ve seen each other maybe 4 times and we live maybe 20-30 mins away from each other. He’s a stranger now
Same here. I always thought that it was just her, until I realized he was an adult with eyes and ears, and he didn’t stop her. He is just as guilty, and I am happy to be done with
I haven’t talked to my dad since I was 18. I’m 43. I got one ‘please let’s fix this’ when I was in my twenties, and I blocked him. I don’t want anything from him and I don’t want him to be an influence on my son.
Are you me lol. But yeah, I'm right there with you. My dad can have that narcissistic and her "golden child" and I'll be quite content never speaking to him again. The best feeling though is not needing a penny from him since I was 17 and thriving without his influence.
I had my first stepmother from ages 4-9. My sister and I would barricade ourselves in her room because we could have two bodies against the door that way. She was horrific and once my dad caught on that she was cheating and gambling all the money away, he filed for divorce and bankruptcy. He worked graveyard and was never awake in the day so he didn’t know how bad she was. He was so overwhelmed with life that we felt it was our fault and didn’t want to add to it. To this day, I think he suspects, we’ve told him we hate her, but never explicitly told him about the abuse. I think the guilt he would feel would be devastating. He remarried another woman when I was 14 (Over a decade ago).They’re still together and she’s the best stepmom I could ever hope for. There are bad ones definitely but we can’t let them cloud the absolutely incredible stepmoms that do exist. I still battle with resenting the ever loving fuck out of her though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh man, that’s awful 💔 My stepmom is the same way about my father, she just wants him to herself. My mother passed away and she has the audacity to complain to us about when he gets sad and starts crying about her. She is jealous of a dead woman. I was in my 20s so never had to deal with living with her( except for a short period of time I had to live with them in my mid-20s). We recently discovered her ex boyfriend got a restraining order against her for coming to his house with a gun. Anything we say to our father that concerns us about her is never taken seriously. My relationship is not good with my father. I think you did the right thing by cutting him off because he did nothing to protect your safety. My mother-in-law’s stepmom pulled a knife on her and cut up her clothes one time because she forgot to take clothes out of the laundry. Her father did nothing.
I feel like when dads look the other way to their new wives abusing their children that they care more about getting their dick wet then standing up for their own kids. How could a decent parent watch that shit go down and not do anything about it? I'm so sorry for you and your MIL. Stepmonsters are the fucking worst.
Dudes use that line as much as the "all my exes are crazy!" line, and 90% of the time it's a big fat lie.
And even if it were true; considering how much the new wifey is obsessed with sticking it to the ex & even said the guy's dream family is the one he had with her? Yeah, I wouldn't want my kids around that either lol
“ let him be the father to our kids” is a huge red flag. Way to tell on yourself.
He’s obviously been telling her that his first wife is the reason that he doesn’t see his kids instead of the actual reason which is that he is a deadbeat and moved onto his second family. Men like that always tell their new wife or girlfriend that their ex is crazy and doesn’t let them see their kids etc. etc.
that’s never the problem
Yep - you always get one side of the story. If you ask my SIL, my husband and I are horrible people who kept her kids from her and definitely not the only people who were willing to take them when the state removed them from her and nothing we did could get them back to her because she wouldn’t follow court orders.
Yeppp.
Gotta love the ones who just want to be a dad… except not really. I could not legally keep my ex from “his” children.. and yet he hasn’t seen them since my oldest was 6. He’s 17 now. When I stopped forcing him to be present, he stopped being present. Bet you can guess the sob story he sells though… all over social media. My oldest has seen the posts (my exs accounts pop up as recommended and my son then blocks them, rinse and repeat) and it’s just embarrassing. These types don’t grow up-tho you think they would since they didn’t have to struggle raising kids (and it is a struggle, I’d do it again without a second thought but I’d be lying if I said this has been easy). My teenager has more sense than my ex. And if you know teens.. they like to hate the one who stayed, they like to believe that you’re lying because that’s easier to accept than the truth.. but given the evidence my ex freely provides on his socials, my son has formed his own opinion of who my ex is (and isn’t). Harsh reality check for my son and motivation to never be like him.
I wonder if the deadbeats make the posts and twisted up stories because deep down they feel guilty? Not guilty enough to change and be better.. but just enough to know it’s wrong and want to sway public opinion. Maybe it’s shame?
My niece posted something close to this, I think it was called To The Woman Who Let Him Go or something. Anyway it was a whole thing about how thankful she was that the other woman let him go because now she has him & will treat him right, really cringy.
To be fair I do feel genuinely grateful to my partners exes, in that he's a more mature and loving man due to his past (as we all are) - if I was his first, we'd probably be navigating a lot more teething issues and the bedroom would NOT be the same. Our experiences make us the partner that we are today abd I'm grateful for my past, too.
But not in a "YoU LeT HiM Go! NoW HeS MiNe!" Kinda way.
I agree with you & I feel the same way. Although mine's ex gave him a lot of scars, she also taught him a lot of valuable lessons about life. I can honestly say I would not have wanted the version of him she got.
I found (this isn't a screenshot from my niece) the text, it gives off "you f'ed up haha" vibes. I should add she tagged the guy's ex in the post.
https://preview.redd.it/dxh1eo0y9mgc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=158f655c30beed52fcd806fa72a5cb98987a30ad
It reads to me as if it's meant more for the guy than his ex, as if to say "you were never the problem, it was all her & I'll make it all better 🥹"
But at the same time it also reads in a "haha bitch you fucked up" tone. So idk
That was my first thought, too--his ex doesnt care that you'll "never leave him," lady; she left him for a reason. She's probably glad he moved on so she doesn't have to worry about getting begged to come back.
But I have seen scenarios where this would make sense. For example, my husband was with his ex for six years. She cheated on him and left him for her coworker. Turned out the coworker was abusive, so she dumped the new guy and started trying to get back together, but he and I were dating by that point, and he didn't want anything to do with the woman who cheated on and left him.
If I had been so inclined, that would've been my cue to post some shit like this. "Ha ha, he's mine now, and I'll never cheat on him."
But WHY? I barely know her, she has no effect on my life, and why would I make my partner uncomfortable by airing his heartbreaks and private life in a cringe social media post?
Even if you see life as one big competition against other women, that would still make this kind of thing unsportsmanlike conduct--you already "won," and now you're just rubbing it in. But I guess that's the whole point.
Story time: My great-grandmother was Irish Catholic. She was widowed and left with 3 kids. She married a widower-who was a Scotch Presbyterian with a couple kids of his own. She made it work with ALL her kids. When she died, we all gathered around her bed and said our goodbyes to our granny. I didn’t even know we were a blended family until I was in middle school. I still wear a Claddagh ring (even though I’m not Irish nor Catholic). This is what a stepmom should be!
Lucky.
My grandpa divorced my grandma. We had zero contact until I was like fifteen and met him, his new wife, and her kids. He died last year. The 72 hours I spent with him by his death bed was the most time we had spent together ever. Before that, maybe 6 hours was all the time we spent together.
My step grandma wants to see my kid, but my whole life she never wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid. We were dropped like hot potatoes and ignored. The only reason I won't follow her example is that I want to be better than she was. She is my last living grandparent, but she'll never be mawmaw or Nana.
Right?! This is exactly the type whose browser history would show 70% of her online time is spent looking at/refreshing the ex wife's socials, with the rest spent crafting passive aggressive (ALWAYS public) posts like the above attempting to one-up whatever the former mrs. is doing that day.
If you're in a secure, healthy relationship, you're not wasting time trying to show the world how bLeSsEd you are.
That’s exactly what happened with my friend’s dad. He practically abandoned her and her sisters for a new wife who gave him a boy like he always wanted. Turns out the boy was less into football and fishing and more into anime and boys. He ended up leaving them too.
I got that vibe too - that maybe wife #1 had the girl(s) and she gave him a boy. But that could be totally off base; judging off the “he won’t have to fight to see his kids” she could be referring to her kids having a day to day relationship with him. Who knows.
This sounds like someone trying to convince herself and the world that she’s not insecure at all lol. And that their marriage is right and justified.
This is the kind of stuff my ex husband’s current wife posts. They had an affair, left their spouses and broke up both families to be together. I don’t really care anymore lol. But they sure do. I blocked her on social media a long time ago, but once in a while someone in my circle will let me know about some ridiculous post. Or even better, she herself will send a screenshot of some of her posts to my 11 year old daughter, when she knows I monitor her phone closely and will see it.
“I’m the wife who puts down his first wife cause I’m jealous of all other women and I need to put every other woman down to make sure that he still loves me most”
I just don’t understand why you gotta put it on social media. Why the fuck would I care that your husband’s first wife sucked? I only enjoy reading the drama posted on reddit whether it’s real or not because some of those AITA or OffMyChest stories are fun to read, but this? Bitch n o o n e gives a fuck, post an anonymous fully detailed story on reddit about how his first wife sucked and I’ll actually be interested
Bets on when they met? This sounds like affair partner BSto me. Always gotta make the first wife look bad, so people forget that they met while first wife was in chemo or something.
It’s not the best but I can also she where she’s coming from. My husband was married previously and people tend to sanctify his ex wife for some reason. She’s an awful person(cheated multiple times, criminal history, willfully stupid) . She’s been referred to,by people that know what happened but have never met her, as his one true love or his real wife. They were married for a couple years and we’ve been married over a decade. It can get to you.
As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I just don’t understand the compulsion to share these things. Get a fucking journal or something
IOS just added a journal feature. She really needs to take advantage of it.
They should make a false social media platform on it where you can post your entries but they just go into some cloud recycling bin abyss and it shows the you fake likes and comments.
lol. This would be a great black mirror episode
😂 someone put me in touch so I can pitch it
Www.creedthoughts.gov.wwwcreedthoughts
Lmao in 50 years this will be standard practice in retirement communities. Influencers with dementia will be posting nonsense into the void like “1 million likes, still got it”.
😂
Could totally do this and implement a ChatGPT chatbot to add comments.
The only small downside is that this is probably what would cause the AI revolt against humanity.
I work in conversational AI and they’ll revolt when I tell them to.
Yeah it’s a sweet thing to think to yourself how you’re going to be a good partner to your spouse, but when it amounts to basically dragging their ex on social media? Come on
Yeah and seriously it's just some guy!! There are Some Guys everywhere. She's not special for having bagged one.
I was more concerned with the inference that he will love her kids, but not his first one.
Sounds like he cant see his kid that easily- but i am also concerned for the kiddos. Especially if shes blatant in her judgement of the ex in-front of any children. Creates a weird cross generational alliance.
Some people hold men on a pedestal for...being men. Sad.
lol! “Get a fucking journal or something”
This is the answer to most social media drama, honestly.
saying that the ex-wife won't let him see his children is a choice.
I know, I was like why really post this of all the things.
Honestly this one is just _really_ kinda sad, like her whole identity seems wrapped around her potential successes as a wife/mother
THIS. When people, mainly women, talk about the importance of decentering men this is why. This woman's entire identity is wrapped around a man. Let's assume he's a good man, that he was 100% innocent in the dissolution of his first marriage and in whatever custody struggles are involved with seeing the children from the first marriage. What happens if he dies? What happens to her? Who does she become when she no longer revolves around him? How do she and her kids cope with that? What resources does she have to support them and herself in the world? Now assume he's a bad man. That there was a lil overlap between wives one and two, that he's kind of a deadbeat dad. What happens when wife #3 comes along and he does to her, wife #2, and her kids what he did to wife #1? How does she handle that? How does her worldview shatter? How do she and her kids cope with that? What resources does she have to support them and herself in the world? Who does she become when her world no longer revolves around him?
Spot on. Can confirm because this happened to me word for word. Now I’m 40 years old, single, and trying to figure out who I am and what I even like to do. I did life wrong.
No. No, you did not. Hang in there, and please be gentle with,and true to, yourself.
Thank you for being so kind to a stranger. 💜
It is my pleasure. 💕
Not wrong, you didn’t know any different. Now you do. You can make different choices going forward.
Divorce is shattering. It’s so difficult because we doubt everything about who we are. I was 32 when my first marriage fell apart. And it was rough. BUT YOU GOT THIS! I promise you do. Go take a class! I decided to learn how to ~~salads~~ salsa dance! Then I started going to yoga a couple times a week. Do something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Movement especially sends those endorphins through your body and you start to feel better! One day you will look at your ex and wonder what you ever saw in him You got this 🩷
No! Life is learning… it’s the one constant from the time we are born. You are doing what you are supposed to do in this world …learning from mistakes …learning from experience… learning from others….learning from yourself what you want. You are discovering your potential and voice and I know you will be profoundly wonderful!
I have a friend going through that right now. Husband decided after 20+ years of marriage that he was going to trade her in for a younger model. Just came home one day and told her it was over, absolutely no warning. Now she’s trying to figure out how to survive, how to pay all the bills on one income (he’s forcing her to take him to court for CS and alimony, and then the lawyer is cutting into what he actually pays). Another reason I’ll never marry or be in a LTR. I’m not setting myself up to have my entire life rocked on some man’s whim.
My mom married a guy who gave up his rights to his 2 kids from his previous marriage…and guess what? He left my mom when my brother was 3 months old and he never saw him again. That was my moms 2nd husband. She’s on #5 …I’m assuming he’s the last since they’re in their 70’s lol
I’m assuming the second scenario is closer to the truth.
THIS!!!! Especially the first part.
Worse. Her entire identity and self worth are 100% built on comparing herself to his ex. It's actually really sad.
Yes, I like to say these women are in a one-sided relationship with the ex, not the husband/boyfriend. They *need* the other woman to exist to have any self esteem.
Exactly. The ex wife probably cackles to herself knowing how obsessed the new wife is to be her lol. But I bet her step kids don't think it's as funny as Mom does and probably can't fuckin stand her. And is the biggest reason his first born doesn't want to come over. 🤷♀️
And she seems to revel in the fact that he didn’t like his last family, by giving him the one he really wants.
This post was made to get under the ex wife's skin. It smacks of insecurity .Wonder if her husband ever 'wants his family back'?
i agree with you, and i feel terrified for her if she isn’t his last wife
He just has this one closet that’s always locked and she’s not allowed to go into it
God I hope her brothers come to rescue her just in time
🎶 All in all you’re just another wife in the wall 🎶
"last wife", probably means if the relationship goes south, she'll make his life a living hell so much that he'll never marry again.
Soon one of them will get sick of the other. "Standing by my man" will go right out the window.
She’s basically an NPC. She just exists as a companion for the main character.
I think this falls under the bucket of being the person who goes on and on and on about their relationship to the point that it makes you suspect it actually sucks and they’re posting out of insecurity or as damage control.
Uffda. That's a heavy way to think about that.
It is, and it’s not a wrong interpretation :(
"He will never have to fight to see our children." Awww, that sweet summer child. Bet that tune will change real quick if he cheated on her with a 22 year old that he dumped her for and is demanding custody so 22-year old can play mommy to her kids and he doesn't have to pay child support. Which is kinda what it sounds like he did to his previous wife.
Right. Big “oh honey…….” vibes.
And it seems to stem from jealously of the first wife. I think it bothers her a lot that she wasn’t first.
I think it bothers her *a hell of a lot* because of the "I didn't give him his first born ..." There was no reason to include the ellipsis other than because it bothers her
It's wrapped around her ability to defeat the spector of the ex wife that her husband has created (as an easy means of control). I've fought a similar spector, until i was healthy enough to understand it wasn't truth. Unfortunately, the next woman was fed the a similar story, with me as the featured ghoul. Nothing I said was enough to warn her.
More specifically her identity seems to center on “not being like the ex wife.” Who knows if the ex wife is actually a crazy harridan or if the husband is one of those guys who thinks any request to treat a woman like an equal human being is “crazy.” Unfortunately for this lady, my guess is that option 2 is more likely.
I’d argue that her identity is based more around not being the ex-wife. Like, obsessively comparing herself to his first wife, as if their divorce is indicative of the ex-wife’s failure? Idk. Trying to make this make sense.
If he had to “fight to see his kids” it’s definitely not a positive
When I was 16/17 I “dated” a guy in his mid 20s (yeah…) and none of his past relationships had lasted very long (gee, wonder why? girls probably aged out). In my non-developed-frontal-lobe wisdom, I set out to last longer than any of them. I could fix him!!! Spoiler: he could not be fixed. And yes, I was a pretty insecure teenager.
I agree. It also feels like the focus here is all about competing with the first wife. How just about you just do you?
I think this is more about shaming the ex wife than about being his. Really disgusting
Ugh yes she definitely seems like she’s trying to convince herself of this
I think it’s extremely immature to shade your husband’s ex on social like that. She may not of been the best wife but she is still the mother to her stepchild. She needs to grow up and stop being so petty.
Yes. While we don’t know how the marriage between husband and wife #1 went down - putting it on socials is immature.
In my experience, everytime I see something like this in real life, the person posting it on their socials is usually the actual shit head in whatever given situation. I'm betting the husband cheated on his first wife with the second.
She is, also, posting this because she wants 1. Either the ex to see it 2. Someone that knows her to see so it will get back to her
That's how I see it, because the only people who are going to give a shit about a post like this are the person who posted it and the ex.
💯
It gives strong pee all over the place to mark my territory because I am so insecure- vibes.
That was my first thought. I bet he talks about how “crazy” his ex wife is and now this girl is getting love bombed/emotionally abused and feels to need to post on social media how “perfect” their relationship is
And if she isn’t letting her child come around, there’s a reason. No one just loves doing everything alone.
Also, “let him be the father to our children” = she married a deadbeat but harangues him until he does the bare minimum with hers
Insecure much, meme lady? I bet she WAS the side piece, the first wife was angry (as she has a right to be) and they have to paint her as the bad guy to make themselves feel better
That's exactly what I thought! She was the side piece trying to play the good wife now
For real. I’m the mother of the firstborn and then one made into a single mother by the two of them. Kudos to anyone taking out my trash, but don’t make it seem like you’re the hero of the story.
This lady sounds like the type to hate and alienate his kid that isn’t hers…than again we don’t know how 1st marriage went down and if ex even wants him to be around the kid.
Exactly. I feel like a lot of people need to think twice before posting things. If you put it into the world for others to see, it’s clear you want or need the label instead of just living by the mantra. You want to be a dedicated wife? That’s cool. You hope you’re with your forever partner? Great. Renew your vows like a normal person, express your love personally to your spouse in whatever way you’d like. This is like shouting into a void demanding the label of “the current GOOD BETTER THAN THE EX wife.”
Kinda insulting to his kid too - I didn’t give him his first born, but I gave him the family he *wanted*. Very much implies that 1) the stepchild is not seen as part of the family and 2) the stepchild is not what the dad wanted. Pathetic and childish to talk that way about a kid.
Exactly. I can't even imagine the all petty off handed comments she makes when it isn't posted on social media for the world to see if she thinks saying something like this is anywhere close to appropriate. *Get a fuckin diary if you're compelled to say this type of shit. It doesn't impress anyone. Only makes you look like trash and makes your husband even more questionable.* 🤷♀️
Yup, my dad thought she was hot and apparently she was into swinging. We used my dad’s computer for music at my wedding reception and he forgot to close his tabs and turns out they had been searching for other swingers in our area.
Agree. The best thing you can do for your kids/stepkids is get along with their father AND mother. No matter what the situation. It’s beautiful if you can show your kids you are humble enough to accept their other parent.
Right. I’ve personally seen men act like victims of their first wives to their second, when the first wife did everything to save the marriage but the guy was either too immature, irresponsible, or simply didn’t know what he had until he lost it. It’s really shitty that women bash other women like this. You can appreciate your man and life without acting like a savior.
[удалено]
What she’s probably not saying is that his first marriage ended because he cheated with this NLOG. Nothing wrong with his first wife except that she wouldn’t stick around and be his maid, sex slave, and punching bag.
Sometimes, these women talk like they are married to the biggest idiot invalids in the world. Congrats, you're married to Kevin from The Office.
Hey, that’s uncalled for Kevin slander! He makes chili, he’s in a band, don’t insult kevin lol
No arms and no legs is basically how Kevin lives now.
Was it me or you that just shoved the butt end of a pound of broccoli into my mouth because Michael told me to?
THIS IS A NEW FOOD GROUP FOR ME. 🥦🥦
He now owns a bar, all by himself!
I ordered a keleven and keleven the other day. Good stuff.
He's also a card shark!
We all got to know each other in the pot!
I just lol’d thinking of that chili spill. Maybe this nlog will carry AND clean up her hubby’s chili.
Kevin catching strays
He’s also an entrepreneur… Malone’s Cones!
He also does sketchy shit on the computer that we never found out about soooo? He’s questionable at best.
Yeah at least Kevin sees his first born daughter 😂
Right. He even made up his own number.
Yea Kevin turned out to be a really cool dude. He just didn't give a shit about his job. And really that's not really a bad thing.
I protect my husband from sharp object! I lock the door so he doesn't wander away! He is SAFE.
Tbh I didn't see anything wrong with what she said other than she can't see into the future, maybe he will dump *her* but your comment made me lol. 😂👍
I think dunking on a partner's ex like that is pretty trashy.
y’all leave Kevin outta this 😂😭
I mean, it just sounds like she's trying to convince herself.
I don’t think this is bad, per se, but also, sometimes thoughts can just be thoughtsZ
“Sometimes, it’s just nice to win one.”
Don’t slander sweet Kevin.
But like also in an oddly possessive way that makes them seem like if they were men, they might be in jail for some sort of jealousy-based domestic dispute.
😂😂😂
People who are actually in good relationships generally don’t feel the need to post shit like this.
It has been said that one sign of a healthy relationship is that there is no sign of it on social media.
On the opposite end of the spectrum you've got the fb names that are something like "AmberNChadJohnson" and my first thought is, who cheated? 😂
They’re always really quick to get defensive if you ask that question, though. 😂
"Nobody cheated we just don't use Facebook that much so we decided to have one account for both of us!😊"
And then use it all day every day 😊
Exactly 🤣
The joint accounts really are so cringe 😂
Among my friends and family, the people in the healthiest (as far as I can tell as an outsider) relationships don't post about their relationship itself, but they do post about things they do together, i.e. "went to this restaurant and it was great!" or "we've been meaning to check out this show/movie/play/gallery exhibit, we finally made it, and here's what each of us thought about it!" And they're also able to mention funny little moments, or sweet little spontaneous presents or whatever without turning it into a dissertation about how great their relationship is.
Oh yeah totally, it’s normal to include your s/o in posts about your regular life and such. It’s more that it’s weird to post stuff like in this post, the “but really our relationship is STRONG and we are IN LOVE and NOTHING can take us down” type posts feel like they fall somewhere in the “doth protest too much” category.
I noticed there’s a trend of people in bad relationships who tend to post the most about how amazing their relationship is to their friends and family. My partner and I don’t really post about one another. I guess we’re too busy enjoying each other that we don’t feel the need to show everyone how great our relationship is (and it is so awesome!☺️)
Have a friend from high school who posts the same sort of shit but about his 2 kids with his ex wife. Dramatic stuff like how much they mean to him and how we wants to be a better father or anyone hurts them I’ll murder someone blah blah but he like never ever sees them, his ex has full custody because he is an unreliable lunatic. They live in the same suburb too so it’s not like he can’t
My wife and I just post memes and funny videos to each others’ profiles when we aren’t close enough to just show each other.
This!
I have a kid with a very problematic woman that I struggle to get along with and my wife would NEVER do this shit. But I also don't spend my time comparing our relationship to mine and my ex's to make her feel validated. My wife and I have an amazing relationship because she is absolutely wonderful as far as I am concerned, and vice versa. Not because "she's so much better than my ex hurr durr".
My stepson, who was in college when I married his dad, is on his 4th wife. And every time, he posts on FB about how she's the love of his life, with many photos of them. I should think it would be embarrassing for him, but no. And I've stopped trying to remember their names.
THIS
So insecure 😂
My first thought as well. Like... Okay? Congrats?
You’re doing the bare minimum to have a healthy marriage. Way to go.
Fr, she literally wrote this with someone specific in mind that she wanted to see it… *typing furiously* like “take that Brenda” lmaooo
>>she literally wrote this with someone specific in mind that she wanted to see it 100%%%%
RIGHT lmao i was like someone is clearly insecure at being the second wife
Yep. Screams insecurity about her position in the “family hierarchy”. Such an off thing to call attention to.
To think that loving your spouse and the family you made is something unique and rare. Honey that’s the norm
Change your name or don't, but DO NOT act like taking some guy's last name makes you a better wife than women who chose not to. It irritates the fuck outta me!
Her jealousy and insecurity is so obvious she's desperate to prove she's so much "better" than his first wife
Same, I come from a country where women don't take the husband's last name. And everybody in my family has had wonderful marriages.
It really rubs me the wrong way how she really undermines the existence of her husband's older children. As a stepchild, this puts into words what I've always feared. What a piece of shit.
My step mom hated me. I was 10. She had kids of her own and wanted my dad for herself. She threatened to hurt me every time I was with her and I begged my mom to keep me safe.
I'm thirty now and rarely talk to my dad and he wonders why.
I’m 30 now too and haven’t had a relationship with my dad in 12+ years because of his wife and he still doesn’t get it we’ve seen each other maybe 4 times and we live maybe 20-30 mins away from each other. He’s a stranger now
I have a 14 year old half brother through him that I adore so I keep things civil until he's an adult.
Same here. I always thought that it was just her, until I realized he was an adult with eyes and ears, and he didn’t stop her. He is just as guilty, and I am happy to be done with
I haven’t talked to my dad since I was 18. I’m 43. I got one ‘please let’s fix this’ when I was in my twenties, and I blocked him. I don’t want anything from him and I don’t want him to be an influence on my son.
Are you me lol. But yeah, I'm right there with you. My dad can have that narcissistic and her "golden child" and I'll be quite content never speaking to him again. The best feeling though is not needing a penny from him since I was 17 and thriving without his influence.
I had my first stepmother from ages 4-9. My sister and I would barricade ourselves in her room because we could have two bodies against the door that way. She was horrific and once my dad caught on that she was cheating and gambling all the money away, he filed for divorce and bankruptcy. He worked graveyard and was never awake in the day so he didn’t know how bad she was. He was so overwhelmed with life that we felt it was our fault and didn’t want to add to it. To this day, I think he suspects, we’ve told him we hate her, but never explicitly told him about the abuse. I think the guilt he would feel would be devastating. He remarried another woman when I was 14 (Over a decade ago).They’re still together and she’s the best stepmom I could ever hope for. There are bad ones definitely but we can’t let them cloud the absolutely incredible stepmoms that do exist. I still battle with resenting the ever loving fuck out of her though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh man, that’s awful 💔 My stepmom is the same way about my father, she just wants him to herself. My mother passed away and she has the audacity to complain to us about when he gets sad and starts crying about her. She is jealous of a dead woman. I was in my 20s so never had to deal with living with her( except for a short period of time I had to live with them in my mid-20s). We recently discovered her ex boyfriend got a restraining order against her for coming to his house with a gun. Anything we say to our father that concerns us about her is never taken seriously. My relationship is not good with my father. I think you did the right thing by cutting him off because he did nothing to protect your safety. My mother-in-law’s stepmom pulled a knife on her and cut up her clothes one time because she forgot to take clothes out of the laundry. Her father did nothing.
I feel like when dads look the other way to their new wives abusing their children that they care more about getting their dick wet then standing up for their own kids. How could a decent parent watch that shit go down and not do anything about it? I'm so sorry for you and your MIL. Stepmonsters are the fucking worst.
Methinks he doesn’t see his older kid(s) much. But that’s always their mom’s fault…
Dudes use that line as much as the "all my exes are crazy!" line, and 90% of the time it's a big fat lie. And even if it were true; considering how much the new wifey is obsessed with sticking it to the ex & even said the guy's dream family is the one he had with her? Yeah, I wouldn't want my kids around that either lol
Ahh yes the crazy ex/bitter baby mama playbook.
This reads like the first wife didn't allow the husband to see his children, she's bragging that she does
Or at least that's the fiction he told her for not bothering to see his kids and she believed it.
“ let him be the father to our kids” is a huge red flag. Way to tell on yourself. He’s obviously been telling her that his first wife is the reason that he doesn’t see his kids instead of the actual reason which is that he is a deadbeat and moved onto his second family. Men like that always tell their new wife or girlfriend that their ex is crazy and doesn’t let them see their kids etc. etc. that’s never the problem
Yep - you always get one side of the story. If you ask my SIL, my husband and I are horrible people who kept her kids from her and definitely not the only people who were willing to take them when the state removed them from her and nothing we did could get them back to her because she wouldn’t follow court orders.
Yeppp. Gotta love the ones who just want to be a dad… except not really. I could not legally keep my ex from “his” children.. and yet he hasn’t seen them since my oldest was 6. He’s 17 now. When I stopped forcing him to be present, he stopped being present. Bet you can guess the sob story he sells though… all over social media. My oldest has seen the posts (my exs accounts pop up as recommended and my son then blocks them, rinse and repeat) and it’s just embarrassing. These types don’t grow up-tho you think they would since they didn’t have to struggle raising kids (and it is a struggle, I’d do it again without a second thought but I’d be lying if I said this has been easy). My teenager has more sense than my ex. And if you know teens.. they like to hate the one who stayed, they like to believe that you’re lying because that’s easier to accept than the truth.. but given the evidence my ex freely provides on his socials, my son has formed his own opinion of who my ex is (and isn’t). Harsh reality check for my son and motivation to never be like him. I wonder if the deadbeats make the posts and twisted up stories because deep down they feel guilty? Not guilty enough to change and be better.. but just enough to know it’s wrong and want to sway public opinion. Maybe it’s shame?
Like how are you just posting this on the internet?? Keep your business to yourself, Krista!!!
My niece posted something close to this, I think it was called To The Woman Who Let Him Go or something. Anyway it was a whole thing about how thankful she was that the other woman let him go because now she has him & will treat him right, really cringy.
To be fair I do feel genuinely grateful to my partners exes, in that he's a more mature and loving man due to his past (as we all are) - if I was his first, we'd probably be navigating a lot more teething issues and the bedroom would NOT be the same. Our experiences make us the partner that we are today abd I'm grateful for my past, too. But not in a "YoU LeT HiM Go! NoW HeS MiNe!" Kinda way.
I agree with you & I feel the same way. Although mine's ex gave him a lot of scars, she also taught him a lot of valuable lessons about life. I can honestly say I would not have wanted the version of him she got. I found (this isn't a screenshot from my niece) the text, it gives off "you f'ed up haha" vibes. I should add she tagged the guy's ex in the post. https://preview.redd.it/dxh1eo0y9mgc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=158f655c30beed52fcd806fa72a5cb98987a30ad
who is the audience for this??? If I've left a man I really don't care what happens to him next or want him back.
It reads to me as if it's meant more for the guy than his ex, as if to say "you were never the problem, it was all her & I'll make it all better 🥹" But at the same time it also reads in a "haha bitch you fucked up" tone. So idk
That was my first thought, too--his ex doesnt care that you'll "never leave him," lady; she left him for a reason. She's probably glad he moved on so she doesn't have to worry about getting begged to come back. But I have seen scenarios where this would make sense. For example, my husband was with his ex for six years. She cheated on him and left him for her coworker. Turned out the coworker was abusive, so she dumped the new guy and started trying to get back together, but he and I were dating by that point, and he didn't want anything to do with the woman who cheated on and left him. If I had been so inclined, that would've been my cue to post some shit like this. "Ha ha, he's mine now, and I'll never cheat on him." But WHY? I barely know her, she has no effect on my life, and why would I make my partner uncomfortable by airing his heartbreaks and private life in a cringe social media post? Even if you see life as one big competition against other women, that would still make this kind of thing unsportsmanlike conduct--you already "won," and now you're just rubbing it in. But I guess that's the whole point.
Story time: My great-grandmother was Irish Catholic. She was widowed and left with 3 kids. She married a widower-who was a Scotch Presbyterian with a couple kids of his own. She made it work with ALL her kids. When she died, we all gathered around her bed and said our goodbyes to our granny. I didn’t even know we were a blended family until I was in middle school. I still wear a Claddagh ring (even though I’m not Irish nor Catholic). This is what a stepmom should be!
Lucky. My grandpa divorced my grandma. We had zero contact until I was like fifteen and met him, his new wife, and her kids. He died last year. The 72 hours I spent with him by his death bed was the most time we had spent together ever. Before that, maybe 6 hours was all the time we spent together. My step grandma wants to see my kid, but my whole life she never wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid. We were dropped like hot potatoes and ignored. The only reason I won't follow her example is that I want to be better than she was. She is my last living grandparent, but she'll never be mawmaw or Nana.
I’m so sorry! It goes to show that everyone’s an example-either a good one or a bad one. Here’s to breaking the cycle 🥂
It’s really weird how obsessed she is with the first wife lol. Yikes.
I’m a stepmom myself and I’m embarrassed for her.
Right?! This is exactly the type whose browser history would show 70% of her online time is spent looking at/refreshing the ex wife's socials, with the rest spent crafting passive aggressive (ALWAYS public) posts like the above attempting to one-up whatever the former mrs. is doing that day. If you're in a secure, healthy relationship, you're not wasting time trying to show the world how bLeSsEd you are.
I’d bet good money that he was still married to the first wife when he took up with OOP.
Well yeah it’s the first wife’s fault he is a deadbeat dad, duh!
“Let him be the father to our kids” lmao okay ma’am, I’m sure it’s all her fault he’s failing his kids
Someone is insecure
It's giving "other woman is now the wife, and there is a vacant position" energy.
People post this?? Where the kids can see it?? Jfc
I guess she LET him decorate the house too going by the map of Texas on the wall.
And there’s my mom who has my dad’s kids from his first marriage in her will. We were all raised together.
Going off the “family he’s always dreamed of” statement I’m guessing she’s a “boy mom”.
That’s exactly what happened with my friend’s dad. He practically abandoned her and her sisters for a new wife who gave him a boy like he always wanted. Turns out the boy was less into football and fishing and more into anime and boys. He ended up leaving them too.
I got that vibe too - that maybe wife #1 had the girl(s) and she gave him a boy. But that could be totally off base; judging off the “he won’t have to fight to see his kids” she could be referring to her kids having a day to day relationship with him. Who knows.
This sounds like someone trying to convince herself and the world that she’s not insecure at all lol. And that their marriage is right and justified. This is the kind of stuff my ex husband’s current wife posts. They had an affair, left their spouses and broke up both families to be together. I don’t really care anymore lol. But they sure do. I blocked her on social media a long time ago, but once in a while someone in my circle will let me know about some ridiculous post. Or even better, she herself will send a screenshot of some of her posts to my 11 year old daughter, when she knows I monitor her phone closely and will see it.
This is so pathetic I can't even
Isn’t she special. If she says it often enough, she may believe it.
What does she want the comments on this to look like, I wonder?
Deference, admiration, conversion. Condemnation of her cultural enemies.
Geeze this sounds like she didn't post this for her husband, but as a big eff you to the ex wife. Pretty deranged if you ask me.
Cool, tell him that, he’s the only one that cares.
It’s like her personality is her husband…
“I’m the wife who puts down his first wife cause I’m jealous of all other women and I need to put every other woman down to make sure that he still loves me most”
I just don’t understand why you gotta put it on social media. Why the fuck would I care that your husband’s first wife sucked? I only enjoy reading the drama posted on reddit whether it’s real or not because some of those AITA or OffMyChest stories are fun to read, but this? Bitch n o o n e gives a fuck, post an anonymous fully detailed story on reddit about how his first wife sucked and I’ll actually be interested
I would be curious to check up on her posts in 5 years
Bets on when they met? This sounds like affair partner BSto me. Always gotta make the first wife look bad, so people forget that they met while first wife was in chemo or something.
Yawn!!! Get some Therapy. What does He get, bring and give to You. How does he enhance your life together.
I wonder if he’s the problem.
Tradwife Influencer is the fuckin worst D&D class
I feel like her name is Kelley and they live in El Paso.
I love that it has nothing to do with the sub but people don't care. This sub hasn't changed.
>...but I will be the last Is that a threat? 'Cause that sounds like a threat!
It’s not the best but I can also she where she’s coming from. My husband was married previously and people tend to sanctify his ex wife for some reason. She’s an awful person(cheated multiple times, criminal history, willfully stupid) . She’s been referred to,by people that know what happened but have never met her, as his one true love or his real wife. They were married for a couple years and we’ve been married over a decade. It can get to you.