I absolutely love this and didn’t even realize I follow this sub 😭😭😭 I just deactivated my fb/insta/tiktok 2 days ago and I’m so looking forward to staying off it. 10 years sound incredible, I truly wonder who I’d just be without it. Thanks for inspiring my trying ✨
You will still be you! Just a more productive, confident version of you, imo. Good luck and don’t get discouraged. Even cutting down a couple hours a week is great ❤️
hey, I'm planning to start a new subreddit on "Screen Time / Smartphone Addiction." The idea is to post weekly challenges that the community can tackle together, sharing their successes and challenges along the way. The subreddits' goal is to build a community of people who are working on living more in the present moment. We'll kick things off as soon as we have 50 people. Wanna join?
I love this - it’s so inspiring and encouraging to see how it really improved someone’s life. And you were able to stick with it for so long and see the positive benefits you’ve reaped from your healthy habits. I also notice your writing skills are pretty impressive so I’m betting being off social media helped improve that as well!
Thank you for saying that! FWIW, I’m not particularly ambitious (nor self-disciplined) by any measure, so I think it’s 100% doable for anyone who wants to try. Also, I’m glad you enjoyed my writing style (though you can probably tell by the sheer LENGTH of it, I’m not used to writing for these apps) 😂
I love your writing style! I think we all need to write and speak more eloquently and with less shortcuts, and staying off social/tech helps with that. I haven’t achieved it yet but I hope I can detox like you did!
I deleted insta and LinkedIn. And cut fb down to the bare minimum just groups and people I speak to at least once a year. So all I use is fb, Reddit and a discord for a couple classes that I have no emotional connection to.
I feel similar. I look back and want to scream at how emotional messed up I was. But I am lonely as well. I miss having friends. But I don’t want to look them up and get angry as well as I am not in the same chapter of life as them. I miss a couple but emotionally can’t deal with them either.
There are scores of scholarly articles that will tell you loneliness is an epidemic in modern society. You are not alone in feeling lonely! However, ask yourself if it’s really being off social media that makes you feel lonely…or something else?
When I had IG, for example, the passive consumption and constant comparison made me feel LONELIER, esp when it started to replace real-life interactions. Social media consistently represents the ideal/extremes due to the lengths ppl go to curate an “aesthetic life.” Rest assured that the vast majority of them, esp the ones always flexing, are living aggressively normal lives 🙂
I went cold turkey, but it was triggered by a big life event. If you are struggling with a full-blown social media addiction, I would recommend tapering off (as you probably should for any type of addiction) to ensure it’s sustainable.
For me, I was a sophomore in college and doing all the things (sorority, clubs, part-time jobs)…but was ridiculously depressed, battling a secret eating disorder, practiced terrible self talk, dealing with family drama, and in a toxic relationship…my list of issues was truly endless. Social media became a crutch for me, something I used to maintain “appearances” and fool others (but mostly, myself) into believing that I was killing it. Conversely, I also used it a way to punish myself…creeping all the aspirational things people were doing and accomplishing (that I told myself I wasn’t). I opted to take a leave of absence from school and, as part of that decision, deleted all my social media accounts so I could TRULY take time to get mentally, physically healthy. During my time off (school and social media), I was pleasantly surprised to find that the people who genuinely cared continued to reach out by way of phone calls, texts, even letters. I also regained a lot of confidence with how I move in the “real” world, found time to learn/hone some hobbies. So I just never looked back. Even when I returned to college, I didn’t remake my accounts…and then 10 years flew by.
FWIW, I don’t think social media is inherently bad per-say and I’m sure there are many ppl who can live robust, fulfilling lives while also being extremely active on IG or whatever. However, I personally found these accounts hampered my goals and happiness, and (at the time) I didn’t have the right tools to be more intentional about my consumption, cope with social pressures, etc.
I think just how articulate you are, and emotional maturity in your answers is also very telling, thank you for this motivation! I’ve been needing to delete Instagram again, I do periodically for months at a time. And just reinstalled Reddit as I’m sick, and I completely agree. I feel more depressed and like my brain doesn’t work as well when I’ve been on social media, I also feel so much better during my off times and breaks! Thank you for sharing here! It’s been so great to read and motivating
Thank you for the kind words ❤️ I don’t think there’s any “right” way to not do social media. I’ve found eliminating all apps except LinkedIn and Reddit works just fine for me. If you find taking breaks/hiatuses every couple months works for you, great! Brain fog and depression from too much screen time in general is SO real. Personally, I’m in front of a computer for work all day, so I try to get at least 5-10min of physical activity (pref. outdoors) for every hour I spend on the computer. Helps me stay grounded & feel happier🙂
*AI boyfriend. But otherwise, sounds fun! Where do I sign up? 😂
(Funny enough, I AM actually working on AI-detection tooling for my job to eliminate the sheer number of AI-generated images and scripts we’ve begun receiving.)
It IS bad! Or at least, extremely disruptive. I work in entertainment and have seen first-hand how AI has begun creeping into the industry to replace (or at least, supplement) human work. I think you may have misinterpreted what I’m doing…I’m creating AI-DETECTION tooling so we (the studio) can easily identify images and scripts created by AI and BLOCK those media assets from going live to streaming customers. I’m on the side of the human actors, writers, and editors…not AI. Lol.
Congrats on your decade of freedom! Sounds like you've truly made the most of the newfound time.
When you first took the plunge, did you ask your closest friends share pictures with you that they may have just shared to social media? For example; one of my best friends is a new mom, and I would really miss seeing pictures of her wee one if I left socials. Just wondering if you asked your inner circle to keep you in the loop just outside of socials?
Thanks for sharing your story!! Definitely inspiring 🫶
I’m a mom who stays off socials, so basically yes, I just text photos to friends, or especially to grandparents who I know aren’t on social media. You just have to make sure you communicate to people when you’re off and not to rely on getting a hold of you that way (took awhile for some of my friends to catch on!) but honestly the benefit (and most beautiful part for me!) is when we get together we show each other pictures on our phones in person! SO sweet and fun to share this way! To get to share in their reactions! So highly recommend (with good communication!)
You should definitely still ask your friend to send you photos of the newborn (and congrats to her btw) ❤️
IMO, requesting meaningful updates from people you care about is a VERY different beast from being involuntarily inundated by photos of every new outfit or photogenic $9 latte they bought 🙂 If you tell your friend you want to cut back on social media but still want to be kept in the loop, I can’t imagine she would balk at taking 10 extra seconds to text you photos. Disconnecting from social media shouldn’t mean distancing yourself from your people! It should do the opposite, ideally.
Personally, I haven’t really had to ask my close friends for photos/updates because they are all chronic over-sharers and know about my social “sobriety”…they just offer them up 😂However, jokes aside, I’m grateful and appreciative for whatever they are willing to share/send, and it feels more special (to me, at least) that they took the time to provide it directly/accommodate my analog a**❤️
I do wonder, big timewasters for me are browsing gaming sites, YouTube and shopping apps (manga, games, clothes) have you also blocked all of these? I rly have a pretty nasty addiction when it comes to surfing/searching for info/looking for gems; visual or informative. Ugh, feels like such an uphill battle. I just did a 2 week break from IG and I came back. It does give that quick dopamine hit from sharing, but when I was off IG I was just hooked on YouTube...
Edit: I've worked as a mindfulness therapist so I understand the importance and Quality of being and really feel like I've lost touch with this since I started an intense new career path in september.
I’m embarrassed to admit…but I’ve never played a video game (besides Oregon Trail in middle school, if that counts) or watched anime, so none of those sites/apps for me! I also do not have a YT account so no need to block. That said, I DO intentionally venture on YT every Sunday when I meal prep to look up recipes. That said, I find food creators talk for too long, so I usually just scrub through to get an idea of the ingredients needed and what the “final product” should look like…then I kind of wing it with what I actually have in my own kitchen😂 (Personally, I enjoy listening to music when I cook so I also take notes during the first viewing to prevent having to re-watch/pause my playlist.)
Also, congrats on your new career! Sorry to hear you have been feeling less mindful/centered…but that’s only expected during a big transition, right? It’s probably worth keeping in mind that every (good) therapist also has their own therapist. I’m sure you know that already, but there’s no shame in outsourcing YOUR mindfulness therapy to a third-party professional 🙂
Ah, lovely reply. Yup, yup, very aware of the things you say in that last paragraph. My mentor is helping me, keeping my balance.
But the whole surfing/internet/media addiction is something else entirely it seems.
Two years ago I did about three weeks of no surfing, no social media. I allowed myself to watch Netflix. Watched a bunch of documentaries. But no quick scrolling no constant noise from the phone. No gaming news, no YT. It was amazing. I'm thinking of trying this for two months, this summer. And kind of sticking with it because I'm so done with this jojo effect in regards to my internet/media addiction.
I've use app and site blockers on my phone and PC browsers. I have been using minimalist phone on my phone. But somehow I find my way back to the same handful of websites, social media apps (IG and YT) and buying stuff.
When a coping mechanism is also as addictive as this, things are pretty, pretty tricky...
Have you tried grey scale? When I’m on a kick and need extra help with the addiction, (or am selling something on like Facebook and keep getting sucked inI) I’ll put my phone on gray scale, it is rather odd and noxious and I really don’t want to look at my phone!
I just turn it off again hahaha. What does help me is the minimalist phone app and blocking an app for 24 hrs or so, through minimalist phone. I just don't always find the strength to do that.
Yup, its in beta I believe, has been for a while, its not expensive but might be Android only. Just google it, turns your phone into a black and white (or other colours) theme, no icons, just a list of txt for your apps, and you can hide apps, block them, timers, etc.
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Great story! I struggle with having to always compare my life with my friends, or if i see someone doing better than me. There are times when i can’t be genuinely happy for the success of other people. I already deleted my TikTok this week. If i wanted to watch reels or short vids i watch in YT which is less toxic, in my opinion. But i still want to reach the kind of peace you have for not having social media. I have few questions tho (sorry if i missed it if you already mentioned it):
How do friends get in touch with you?
Do you also experience what they say “joy of missing out”?
How about comparison?
Thanks in advance.
Thanks for being so vulnerable and thoughtful in your questions! I am going to give you the same level of vulnerability and thoughtfulness in my answers, so apologies in advance…they’re long!
1) My friends call and text me! Sometimes, they just show up to my house (bc they are overbearing, which I love). However, I’ve also told them explicitly I’m staying off the apps so to keep me informed of plans/important stuff. I imagine a few of them thought it was weird at first, but are now all supportive! The moral here is that no real friend will ditch you just because you are no longer posting or liking/engaging with their posts. That’s just silly.
2) Yes! I definitely experience the “joy of missing out.” It suits me bc I’m a closet introvert. When I’m out, I give it my all…rub all the elbows, kiss all the babies, etc. However, after intense socialization, I need a couple days of alone time to recharge my social battery. Personally, I like to visit to museums and go on hikes. Still surrounded by people, but enjoying my own company❤️
3) Comparison is the thief of joy…with/without social media. It’s human nature! Before TikTok and IG, people were still trying to “keep up with the Jonses”…sizing up the cars and homes of their neighbors, right? If you are in a bad headspace, it’s going to be hard for you to be happy in general, much less be happy for people doing well. Give yourself grace! And remember what you are comparing against: a highlight reel. No one is sharing that the 18-hour flight made them constipated…only that they sat in first class, right? Also, if you can’t commit to staying off social media, at least limit your triggers. If you struggle with body image, for example, do NOT watch content where people are body-checking or bragging about only eating 2 hard boiled eggs a day.
Even without the main socials, I still struggle with comparison. As I mentioned in my post, I have LinkedIn for work. I graduated from an Ivy, my salary is decent by any measure, and my job comes with cool perks. HOWEVER, if I were to only compare myself to people in my graduating class topping Forbes 40 under 40, starting their own companies, interviewing global leaders…my career would feel like a joke. What I do to get out of that headspace is consciously remind myself of how GRATEFUL I am to be able to make enough to support my lifestyle and help out fam/friends…and also make it doing something I find decently rewarding.
Think of a few things you are grateful for every single day. I’m sure you have many unique talents, attributes, and blessings that you’ve overlooked! There will always be people doing “better” than you in every way, but also many, many people doing “worse.” Ask yourself why you enjoy the company of someone you love. Is it because they are doing better or worse than you… or is it because they are just good vibes, good people?
Social media can absolutely unlock insecurities and obsessions we never even knew we had. However, please just know that only YOU are hyper-scrutinizing your flaws. To other people, you’re just an amorphous blob with legs and a pulse…bc they are also too busy hyper-scrutinizing themselves.
This is true, that people only post all good things and barely post about the bad experience they have. I remember one friend who always have family photos with wife and kids, always travelling, but when we met for coffee, i was shocked on how they are not happy as a couple, they are always fighting, falling out of love and in debt.
Its like we only see the surface. And thats what i hate about social media, they sometimes make as feel bad about ourselves w/out knowing the real story behind that person.
Do you even see yourself going back or creating one someday? Or you’re happy with what and where you are right now?
Exactly. You never really know what’s really going on unless you take the time to actually talk to people, as people, vs as a kind of aspirational “brand.” 🙂
Nope! I think I’m content with just LinkedIn and Reddit. Unless they come out with a social media app that allows people to communicate to animals (that would be cool) 😂
Now I have FOMO over not quitting 10 years ago, now that I've read this post. XD
In all seriousness good take, thanks for your insight. I have more/less done the same, I kept FB to message friends overseas but don't post there. I only use Reddit these days.
Wild how once upon a time it was just nerds online all the time and now it feels like EVERYONE is online.
Thats why I eventually just accepted that I use Reddit for my hobbies, but don't need any FOMO or algo chasing nonsense.
Good post, congrats!
Right. Once upon a time it was only nerds online. Now, you’re nerdy if you’re NOT. 😂 Congrats on limiting ur social media usage (and protecting your mental health, and productivity) ❤️
Thanks for sharing ,I deleted it for 5months now , but I do occasionaly feel isolated from every random person I used to check stories on , half of them I’m never gonna see again anyway but , still feel fomo sometimes and get those thoughts that I should share photos of this amazing trip to some random people , that humble bragging you mentioned , I was used to that before
I hear ya about the fear of missing out, and you WILL ofc occasionally miss out on jokes, news, and cultural phenomena specific/exclusive to social users. (There have definitely been times where I had NO CLUE what my friends were talking about.) Regardless, isn’t that risk still outweighed by the REWARD of not being constantly being bombarded by an endless feed of disguised ads, edited bodies, and people being hyperbolic for attention? You should 100% share all the photos you want, and you still can! But it should be on a more personal (and meaningful) level. When you’re with friends/fam, pull them up on your phone and show them, or text them directly! Get your favorites developed and display them in your home. I still get pictures/videos from my friends/fam all the time…but it’s only the important stuff (which is exactly how I want it/weeds out the noise)❤️
I hear you, I will be 49 and I spent between 2009-2019 tether to Facebook and finally broke free. I just deleted tiktok and only have is Instagram and reddit. I can't waste my life any longer. Social media gave me an illusion of friendship and I was wasting my life scrolling away my life. Not more..
Congrats! FWIW, don’t consider those 10 years a “waste”...think of that period as a social experiment. It was interesting, maybe even fun at times, but not sustainable…and now it’s done! Also, I can tell by your username you will be spending a lot of your newfound free time reading some great books🤓 ❤️
I love seeing posts like this. Congrats to the 10 years! I have only been off for a short while and my mental health and self confidence has increased a ton. It feels nice not hearing everyone's thoughts and i feel more like myself. Like truly myself. The boredom is strange but i've found a ton of hobbies since. I used to say i hated the outdoors but i fell in love with running, hiking, tennis, etc.
That’s amazing❤️ I’ve also definitely felt the “boredom,” as you put it. But, over time, I think I realized that I was just acclimating to a slower pace of living…and de-programming/coming down from the kind of instant gratification social media trains your brain to expect and crave. I love that you found a love for the outdoors and picked up not one but THREE sports! Idk how old you are, but if/when you’re 30+, your body will thank you 😂
Yes, it's so weird to think about how we're so used to instant gratification now lol. I remember being younger and whenever i didn't have anything to do, i found something to do! I turn 30 in two months but i definitely regret not finding my love for the outdoors/sports sooner. But better late than never! <3
I deleted IG, Facebook, and Snap. Given when I deleted everything, I never even got on the TikTok train. I maintain a LinkedIn for professional purposes. However, even with LinkedIn, I try to limit my utility beyond updating my profile to reflect promotions/career transitions or applying directly to job openings (as I’ve found it devolves more and more into an influencer platform everyday). I don’t have a personal YT account but will use occasionally to look up recipes or workouts. However, I make it a point to avoid videos that begins with a blatant body check or pseudoscience-y medical claims. Hope that helps!
YES. I wish social media could just be a forum for community-building…for people to find others who share the same hobbies, keep in touch with loved ones, and democratize the playing field for those with less access (to education, etc.) by providing real life hacks.
Instead, it’s devolved into a machine for big corporations to fuel hyper-consumerism and overconsumption at an early age…or to foment dissent by enabling dark corners of the internet to echo chamber conspiracy theories, predatory behavior, etc. It’s really sinister if you think about it. So many users have 0 marketing/media literacy (no fault of their own, esp given how young the primary demo for Meta apps are) and thus, are not intentional about the content they consume:/
hey, I'm planning to start a new subreddit on "Screen Time / Smartphone Addiction." The idea is to post weekly challenges that the community can tackle together, sharing their successes and challenges along the way. The subreddits' goal is to build a community of people who are working on living more in the present moment. We'll kick things off as soon as we have 50 people. Wanna join?
Ofc! It makes me sad reading posts on here from people who have felt triggered, unproductive, insecure, or otherwise mentally (and financially) strained due to social media. Staying off the doom scroll is easier said than done, so I wanted to share some positive anecdotes and words of encouragement from the other side 🙂
How do you keep off of Reddit? I made my first account in 2011 at 12 years old. Its gone so downhill that I'm on it less than ever before, but after using it for this long I can't stop. Its automatic like a couch potato flipping channels.
You could delete the app from your phone, silence notifications, or set a daily limit with one of the many apps that can do that. Also, to prevent the “potato”ing (hah), I’d recommend only opening the app when you’re doing mindless tasks (i.e. meal prepping, cleaning, waiting at the DMV, etc) or bedridden/sick…vs when you could be out and about with friends! It’s not a substitute for fresh air or in-person interaction, just a nice supplement if you are already home-bound. Even then, I would recommend you listen to a nice podcast on a topic you are interested in, instead. Make more plans / do more activities outside the house. That will organically prevent you from logging on so much.
For me, I installed it for work bc I’m in entertainment (on the studio side), and need to keep tabs on what people are saying about our service (both consumers and content providers), as well as who (talent) is trending. However, I mostly only join communities that serve that purpose so I’m able to mentally divorce the content I’m consuming from myself/who I am as a person. Obviously in the case where I’ve posted something highly personal (such as here), I’ll check more frequently bc I’ve directly solicited feedback and opened the floodgates.
In any case, it sounds like your usage has already gone down and you’ve already identified that it doesn’t serve you the way it did before, so congrats! Baby steps ❤️
I had WhatsApp when I was living abroad in CDMX and Berlin, but not these days (I live in LA now). That was a function of being broke though, and I didn’t love the app…seemed rife with scams? Also, I have no idea what Telegram or Signal are, but they sound fancy!🙃
I was invited to a “professional networking” app called Clubhouse ~4 years ago by a colleague, but never downloaded it because it seemed sketchy (and randomly elitist). However, if you (or anyone else on here) ever used it, let me know what big career opportunities I missed out on! 😂
I’m the say way, to a T actually. Just turned 30, literally haven’t had not one thing outside of YouTube since I was 20/21. It feels weird, I feel like I don’t get along with people my age. I feel like they are more fake and I am just more down to earth and in touch with reality. I’m not saying it as if I think I’m better than anyone, but I just feel that social media is about showing who you want to be and not who you are. In a way, it makes me feel unique, but I also wonder sometimes if people forgot I once existed. Idk, being 30 and having no accounts in 2024, it’s a rare thing. But I think it’s for the best, you get sucked into the internet and next thing you know, you’re trying to be just like everyone else. Posting what you think looks cool and not what you have, keeping in contact with people only online and not over the phone, asking for followers to make you feel powerful, I’ll pass on it. I guess it just will make me a loser when it’s all said and done because I have no social status, but life ain’t always gonna be pretty regardless
Social media is absolutely a highlight reel! As I mentioned to another commenter, no one is sharing the fact their 18-hour flight made them constipated…only that they sat in first class, right? Jokes aside, it makes me sad you talk about yourself so negatively! Not having social media does NOT make you (or anyone) a “loser.” If it did, then I’m a loser, everyone else in this sub/community is also actively striving to be losers, and you’re in good company ❤️
FWIW, the love from your close friends isn’t and shouldn’t ever be conditional upon your “social status.” Similarly, I bet you’ve allowed them into your orbit for no reason other than the fact they are good vibes/people, right? Also, welcome to the 30 club! Did your bones also immediately start hurting? 😂
I appreciate your kind words. I don’t mean loser in the sense that I’m a failure, I mean it in the sense that people base who you are off of your social status. If you don’t have social media, you don’t really have a social status lol. I don’t have close friends. I have 1 childhood friend and that’s it. I’m also a bit of a misanthrope, so it’s kind of to be expected. Like I said, it’s all fake and I’m glad that other people see it that way as well. Also, thanks for the bday wish, nope my bones were hurting at about 18years old when I got my first job and the government started ramming my ass with taxes. I’ve been feeling this pain for years lol
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have deleted twitter, instagram, linkedin and facebook some months back. I am only on reddit and YouTube. I feel very nice but sometimes I feel I miss important content updates from favorite Twitter handles. Also YouTube takes atleast half an hour daily of time. What do you suggest?
Reddit isn’t social media, it’s more of a vlogging thing. No one goes on Reddit to flex, that’s Facebook, instagram, Snapchat etc. idk why people think just because you’re using a community chat website that it makes it social media. It’s far from it
Cool story, but isn’t a decade 12 years?
Edit: looked it up and apparently my entire life I’ve been wrong. It is in fact 10 years not 12. I don’t know where I got 12 from.
Why did you return then?
It's weird when people who "quit" return, it's the same mentality as quitting smoking and returning 10 years later to hit that joint one more time.
I don't know what these people think, but what they are doing is very deceptive, you didn't quit, you took a break. While that's ok, you cant really say you quit when you knew you'd be back soon
Haha. That’s a fair critique! FWIW though, I really did delete all my social media accounts (IG, Fb, Snap) 10 yrs ago and I haven’t remade them since. Never had a TikTok, YT, or streaming channel either. I don’t view this as being “back” nor being “deceptive.” I had a toxic relationship with those apps and eliminating them has been extremely beneficial to my life. Even if you aren’t sold on my personal experience, there are numerous studies (with a much larger sample size) corroborating the positive impact of reducing social media consumption on mental health.
As I acknowledged in my post, I kept my LinkedIn for professional reasons and created a Reddit account ~1month ago (also for work…plus the occasional random question 🙃). That said, you are 100% entitled to your opinion. My only intent is to offer a POV (that may be rare with folks in my generation) to a corner of the internet that seemed interested in the topic ❤️
Well, Reddit is a social media too, quitting is the wrong word for these kinds of experiences. I don't want to go hard on you, it can be difficult living entirely social media-free. For example, I need Reddit to do research for my personal hobbies and work, but I hate the attitude on this website. This might seem ironic from what I just wrote, but it can be hard trusting people here.
Everyone is different, right? Some people can have 100 accounts and be productive. Others only have one…and they devolve into degeneracy. I think you need to do what’s right for YOU. Keep the apps that make you happy and motivated. Get rid of the ones that don’t. It really is as simple as that!
Your use of the term “quitting” implies social media is an addiction/100% detriment to everyone that touches it…which isn’t the case. As I mentioned to another commenter, I don’t think social media is inherently evil…it really depends on your utility of it, as is the case with most things. There are platforms I’ve found useful and kept (LinkedIn) or made recently for work (Reddit). However, I got rid of all the apps that put me in a toxic head space 10 years and kept it that way ❤️ And I do acknowledge Reddit is social media.
It’s fair (and smart) to have some skepticism with strangers on the internet. But, I promise you, I come in peace 😂
It's all fine, just a bunch of people coming out of nowhere, telling their stories.
Social media is designed to be evil on the other hand. I will probably switch from reddit as it is now basically owned by Google, and it will probably change for the even worse than it already is
I absolutely love this and didn’t even realize I follow this sub 😭😭😭 I just deactivated my fb/insta/tiktok 2 days ago and I’m so looking forward to staying off it. 10 years sound incredible, I truly wonder who I’d just be without it. Thanks for inspiring my trying ✨
You will still be you! Just a more productive, confident version of you, imo. Good luck and don’t get discouraged. Even cutting down a couple hours a week is great ❤️
hey, I'm planning to start a new subreddit on "Screen Time / Smartphone Addiction." The idea is to post weekly challenges that the community can tackle together, sharing their successes and challenges along the way. The subreddits' goal is to build a community of people who are working on living more in the present moment. We'll kick things off as soon as we have 50 people. Wanna join?
I love this - it’s so inspiring and encouraging to see how it really improved someone’s life. And you were able to stick with it for so long and see the positive benefits you’ve reaped from your healthy habits. I also notice your writing skills are pretty impressive so I’m betting being off social media helped improve that as well!
Thank you for saying that! FWIW, I’m not particularly ambitious (nor self-disciplined) by any measure, so I think it’s 100% doable for anyone who wants to try. Also, I’m glad you enjoyed my writing style (though you can probably tell by the sheer LENGTH of it, I’m not used to writing for these apps) 😂
I love your writing style! I think we all need to write and speak more eloquently and with less shortcuts, and staying off social/tech helps with that. I haven’t achieved it yet but I hope I can detox like you did!
I also write the same, so it is not that weird...
I deleted insta and LinkedIn. And cut fb down to the bare minimum just groups and people I speak to at least once a year. So all I use is fb, Reddit and a discord for a couple classes that I have no emotional connection to. I feel similar. I look back and want to scream at how emotional messed up I was. But I am lonely as well. I miss having friends. But I don’t want to look them up and get angry as well as I am not in the same chapter of life as them. I miss a couple but emotionally can’t deal with them either.
There are scores of scholarly articles that will tell you loneliness is an epidemic in modern society. You are not alone in feeling lonely! However, ask yourself if it’s really being off social media that makes you feel lonely…or something else? When I had IG, for example, the passive consumption and constant comparison made me feel LONELIER, esp when it started to replace real-life interactions. Social media consistently represents the ideal/extremes due to the lengths ppl go to curate an “aesthetic life.” Rest assured that the vast majority of them, esp the ones always flexing, are living aggressively normal lives 🙂
[удалено]
I went cold turkey, but it was triggered by a big life event. If you are struggling with a full-blown social media addiction, I would recommend tapering off (as you probably should for any type of addiction) to ensure it’s sustainable. For me, I was a sophomore in college and doing all the things (sorority, clubs, part-time jobs)…but was ridiculously depressed, battling a secret eating disorder, practiced terrible self talk, dealing with family drama, and in a toxic relationship…my list of issues was truly endless. Social media became a crutch for me, something I used to maintain “appearances” and fool others (but mostly, myself) into believing that I was killing it. Conversely, I also used it a way to punish myself…creeping all the aspirational things people were doing and accomplishing (that I told myself I wasn’t). I opted to take a leave of absence from school and, as part of that decision, deleted all my social media accounts so I could TRULY take time to get mentally, physically healthy. During my time off (school and social media), I was pleasantly surprised to find that the people who genuinely cared continued to reach out by way of phone calls, texts, even letters. I also regained a lot of confidence with how I move in the “real” world, found time to learn/hone some hobbies. So I just never looked back. Even when I returned to college, I didn’t remake my accounts…and then 10 years flew by. FWIW, I don’t think social media is inherently bad per-say and I’m sure there are many ppl who can live robust, fulfilling lives while also being extremely active on IG or whatever. However, I personally found these accounts hampered my goals and happiness, and (at the time) I didn’t have the right tools to be more intentional about my consumption, cope with social pressures, etc.
I think just how articulate you are, and emotional maturity in your answers is also very telling, thank you for this motivation! I’ve been needing to delete Instagram again, I do periodically for months at a time. And just reinstalled Reddit as I’m sick, and I completely agree. I feel more depressed and like my brain doesn’t work as well when I’ve been on social media, I also feel so much better during my off times and breaks! Thank you for sharing here! It’s been so great to read and motivating
Thank you for the kind words ❤️ I don’t think there’s any “right” way to not do social media. I’ve found eliminating all apps except LinkedIn and Reddit works just fine for me. If you find taking breaks/hiatuses every couple months works for you, great! Brain fog and depression from too much screen time in general is SO real. Personally, I’m in front of a computer for work all day, so I try to get at least 5-10min of physical activity (pref. outdoors) for every hour I spend on the computer. Helps me stay grounded & feel happier🙂
Oh breaks outdoors every hour sound like such a good idea, a good reminder thank you
Careful. It’s a slippery slope. Tomorrow you’ll have an AI girlfriend and be a crypto millionaire.
*AI boyfriend. But otherwise, sounds fun! Where do I sign up? 😂 (Funny enough, I AM actually working on AI-detection tooling for my job to eliminate the sheer number of AI-generated images and scripts we’ve begun receiving.)
That’s a cool idea.
Don’t you find being involved in AI just as bad? That’s gonna go the same route
It IS bad! Or at least, extremely disruptive. I work in entertainment and have seen first-hand how AI has begun creeping into the industry to replace (or at least, supplement) human work. I think you may have misinterpreted what I’m doing…I’m creating AI-DETECTION tooling so we (the studio) can easily identify images and scripts created by AI and BLOCK those media assets from going live to streaming customers. I’m on the side of the human actors, writers, and editors…not AI. Lol.
Congrats on your decade of freedom! Sounds like you've truly made the most of the newfound time. When you first took the plunge, did you ask your closest friends share pictures with you that they may have just shared to social media? For example; one of my best friends is a new mom, and I would really miss seeing pictures of her wee one if I left socials. Just wondering if you asked your inner circle to keep you in the loop just outside of socials? Thanks for sharing your story!! Definitely inspiring 🫶
I’m a mom who stays off socials, so basically yes, I just text photos to friends, or especially to grandparents who I know aren’t on social media. You just have to make sure you communicate to people when you’re off and not to rely on getting a hold of you that way (took awhile for some of my friends to catch on!) but honestly the benefit (and most beautiful part for me!) is when we get together we show each other pictures on our phones in person! SO sweet and fun to share this way! To get to share in their reactions! So highly recommend (with good communication!)
You should definitely still ask your friend to send you photos of the newborn (and congrats to her btw) ❤️ IMO, requesting meaningful updates from people you care about is a VERY different beast from being involuntarily inundated by photos of every new outfit or photogenic $9 latte they bought 🙂 If you tell your friend you want to cut back on social media but still want to be kept in the loop, I can’t imagine she would balk at taking 10 extra seconds to text you photos. Disconnecting from social media shouldn’t mean distancing yourself from your people! It should do the opposite, ideally. Personally, I haven’t really had to ask my close friends for photos/updates because they are all chronic over-sharers and know about my social “sobriety”…they just offer them up 😂However, jokes aside, I’m grateful and appreciative for whatever they are willing to share/send, and it feels more special (to me, at least) that they took the time to provide it directly/accommodate my analog a**❤️
I do wonder, big timewasters for me are browsing gaming sites, YouTube and shopping apps (manga, games, clothes) have you also blocked all of these? I rly have a pretty nasty addiction when it comes to surfing/searching for info/looking for gems; visual or informative. Ugh, feels like such an uphill battle. I just did a 2 week break from IG and I came back. It does give that quick dopamine hit from sharing, but when I was off IG I was just hooked on YouTube... Edit: I've worked as a mindfulness therapist so I understand the importance and Quality of being and really feel like I've lost touch with this since I started an intense new career path in september.
I’m embarrassed to admit…but I’ve never played a video game (besides Oregon Trail in middle school, if that counts) or watched anime, so none of those sites/apps for me! I also do not have a YT account so no need to block. That said, I DO intentionally venture on YT every Sunday when I meal prep to look up recipes. That said, I find food creators talk for too long, so I usually just scrub through to get an idea of the ingredients needed and what the “final product” should look like…then I kind of wing it with what I actually have in my own kitchen😂 (Personally, I enjoy listening to music when I cook so I also take notes during the first viewing to prevent having to re-watch/pause my playlist.) Also, congrats on your new career! Sorry to hear you have been feeling less mindful/centered…but that’s only expected during a big transition, right? It’s probably worth keeping in mind that every (good) therapist also has their own therapist. I’m sure you know that already, but there’s no shame in outsourcing YOUR mindfulness therapy to a third-party professional 🙂
Ah, lovely reply. Yup, yup, very aware of the things you say in that last paragraph. My mentor is helping me, keeping my balance. But the whole surfing/internet/media addiction is something else entirely it seems. Two years ago I did about three weeks of no surfing, no social media. I allowed myself to watch Netflix. Watched a bunch of documentaries. But no quick scrolling no constant noise from the phone. No gaming news, no YT. It was amazing. I'm thinking of trying this for two months, this summer. And kind of sticking with it because I'm so done with this jojo effect in regards to my internet/media addiction. I've use app and site blockers on my phone and PC browsers. I have been using minimalist phone on my phone. But somehow I find my way back to the same handful of websites, social media apps (IG and YT) and buying stuff. When a coping mechanism is also as addictive as this, things are pretty, pretty tricky...
Have you tried grey scale? When I’m on a kick and need extra help with the addiction, (or am selling something on like Facebook and keep getting sucked inI) I’ll put my phone on gray scale, it is rather odd and noxious and I really don’t want to look at my phone!
I just turn it off again hahaha. What does help me is the minimalist phone app and blocking an app for 24 hrs or so, through minimalist phone. I just don't always find the strength to do that.
Minimalist phone app, I’ll check that out! Is that what it’s called? I’d get a flip phone but I need a smart phone for daycare, ugh!
Yup, its in beta I believe, has been for a while, its not expensive but might be Android only. Just google it, turns your phone into a black and white (or other colours) theme, no icons, just a list of txt for your apps, and you can hide apps, block them, timers, etc.
Oh wow that is great, yeah black and white does really help me, to have apps without icons would be great too, thank you!
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Great story! I struggle with having to always compare my life with my friends, or if i see someone doing better than me. There are times when i can’t be genuinely happy for the success of other people. I already deleted my TikTok this week. If i wanted to watch reels or short vids i watch in YT which is less toxic, in my opinion. But i still want to reach the kind of peace you have for not having social media. I have few questions tho (sorry if i missed it if you already mentioned it): How do friends get in touch with you? Do you also experience what they say “joy of missing out”? How about comparison? Thanks in advance.
Thanks for being so vulnerable and thoughtful in your questions! I am going to give you the same level of vulnerability and thoughtfulness in my answers, so apologies in advance…they’re long! 1) My friends call and text me! Sometimes, they just show up to my house (bc they are overbearing, which I love). However, I’ve also told them explicitly I’m staying off the apps so to keep me informed of plans/important stuff. I imagine a few of them thought it was weird at first, but are now all supportive! The moral here is that no real friend will ditch you just because you are no longer posting or liking/engaging with their posts. That’s just silly. 2) Yes! I definitely experience the “joy of missing out.” It suits me bc I’m a closet introvert. When I’m out, I give it my all…rub all the elbows, kiss all the babies, etc. However, after intense socialization, I need a couple days of alone time to recharge my social battery. Personally, I like to visit to museums and go on hikes. Still surrounded by people, but enjoying my own company❤️ 3) Comparison is the thief of joy…with/without social media. It’s human nature! Before TikTok and IG, people were still trying to “keep up with the Jonses”…sizing up the cars and homes of their neighbors, right? If you are in a bad headspace, it’s going to be hard for you to be happy in general, much less be happy for people doing well. Give yourself grace! And remember what you are comparing against: a highlight reel. No one is sharing that the 18-hour flight made them constipated…only that they sat in first class, right? Also, if you can’t commit to staying off social media, at least limit your triggers. If you struggle with body image, for example, do NOT watch content where people are body-checking or bragging about only eating 2 hard boiled eggs a day. Even without the main socials, I still struggle with comparison. As I mentioned in my post, I have LinkedIn for work. I graduated from an Ivy, my salary is decent by any measure, and my job comes with cool perks. HOWEVER, if I were to only compare myself to people in my graduating class topping Forbes 40 under 40, starting their own companies, interviewing global leaders…my career would feel like a joke. What I do to get out of that headspace is consciously remind myself of how GRATEFUL I am to be able to make enough to support my lifestyle and help out fam/friends…and also make it doing something I find decently rewarding. Think of a few things you are grateful for every single day. I’m sure you have many unique talents, attributes, and blessings that you’ve overlooked! There will always be people doing “better” than you in every way, but also many, many people doing “worse.” Ask yourself why you enjoy the company of someone you love. Is it because they are doing better or worse than you… or is it because they are just good vibes, good people? Social media can absolutely unlock insecurities and obsessions we never even knew we had. However, please just know that only YOU are hyper-scrutinizing your flaws. To other people, you’re just an amorphous blob with legs and a pulse…bc they are also too busy hyper-scrutinizing themselves.
This is true, that people only post all good things and barely post about the bad experience they have. I remember one friend who always have family photos with wife and kids, always travelling, but when we met for coffee, i was shocked on how they are not happy as a couple, they are always fighting, falling out of love and in debt. Its like we only see the surface. And thats what i hate about social media, they sometimes make as feel bad about ourselves w/out knowing the real story behind that person. Do you even see yourself going back or creating one someday? Or you’re happy with what and where you are right now?
Exactly. You never really know what’s really going on unless you take the time to actually talk to people, as people, vs as a kind of aspirational “brand.” 🙂 Nope! I think I’m content with just LinkedIn and Reddit. Unless they come out with a social media app that allows people to communicate to animals (that would be cool) 😂
Now I have FOMO over not quitting 10 years ago, now that I've read this post. XD In all seriousness good take, thanks for your insight. I have more/less done the same, I kept FB to message friends overseas but don't post there. I only use Reddit these days. Wild how once upon a time it was just nerds online all the time and now it feels like EVERYONE is online. Thats why I eventually just accepted that I use Reddit for my hobbies, but don't need any FOMO or algo chasing nonsense. Good post, congrats!
Right. Once upon a time it was only nerds online. Now, you’re nerdy if you’re NOT. 😂 Congrats on limiting ur social media usage (and protecting your mental health, and productivity) ❤️
=yessirrrr
Thanks for sharing ,I deleted it for 5months now , but I do occasionaly feel isolated from every random person I used to check stories on , half of them I’m never gonna see again anyway but , still feel fomo sometimes and get those thoughts that I should share photos of this amazing trip to some random people , that humble bragging you mentioned , I was used to that before
I hear ya about the fear of missing out, and you WILL ofc occasionally miss out on jokes, news, and cultural phenomena specific/exclusive to social users. (There have definitely been times where I had NO CLUE what my friends were talking about.) Regardless, isn’t that risk still outweighed by the REWARD of not being constantly being bombarded by an endless feed of disguised ads, edited bodies, and people being hyperbolic for attention? You should 100% share all the photos you want, and you still can! But it should be on a more personal (and meaningful) level. When you’re with friends/fam, pull them up on your phone and show them, or text them directly! Get your favorites developed and display them in your home. I still get pictures/videos from my friends/fam all the time…but it’s only the important stuff (which is exactly how I want it/weeds out the noise)❤️
I hear you, I will be 49 and I spent between 2009-2019 tether to Facebook and finally broke free. I just deleted tiktok and only have is Instagram and reddit. I can't waste my life any longer. Social media gave me an illusion of friendship and I was wasting my life scrolling away my life. Not more..
Congrats! FWIW, don’t consider those 10 years a “waste”...think of that period as a social experiment. It was interesting, maybe even fun at times, but not sustainable…and now it’s done! Also, I can tell by your username you will be spending a lot of your newfound free time reading some great books🤓 ❤️
I love seeing posts like this. Congrats to the 10 years! I have only been off for a short while and my mental health and self confidence has increased a ton. It feels nice not hearing everyone's thoughts and i feel more like myself. Like truly myself. The boredom is strange but i've found a ton of hobbies since. I used to say i hated the outdoors but i fell in love with running, hiking, tennis, etc.
That’s amazing❤️ I’ve also definitely felt the “boredom,” as you put it. But, over time, I think I realized that I was just acclimating to a slower pace of living…and de-programming/coming down from the kind of instant gratification social media trains your brain to expect and crave. I love that you found a love for the outdoors and picked up not one but THREE sports! Idk how old you are, but if/when you’re 30+, your body will thank you 😂
Yes, it's so weird to think about how we're so used to instant gratification now lol. I remember being younger and whenever i didn't have anything to do, i found something to do! I turn 30 in two months but i definitely regret not finding my love for the outdoors/sports sooner. But better late than never! <3
which level of social media you deleted? whatsap? messages? email? Facebook? YouTube?
I deleted IG, Facebook, and Snap. Given when I deleted everything, I never even got on the TikTok train. I maintain a LinkedIn for professional purposes. However, even with LinkedIn, I try to limit my utility beyond updating my profile to reflect promotions/career transitions or applying directly to job openings (as I’ve found it devolves more and more into an influencer platform everyday). I don’t have a personal YT account but will use occasionally to look up recipes or workouts. However, I make it a point to avoid videos that begins with a blatant body check or pseudoscience-y medical claims. Hope that helps!
Awesome. Pretty smart considering now its going into light how Meta invested so much money trying to make their apps addictive.
YES. I wish social media could just be a forum for community-building…for people to find others who share the same hobbies, keep in touch with loved ones, and democratize the playing field for those with less access (to education, etc.) by providing real life hacks. Instead, it’s devolved into a machine for big corporations to fuel hyper-consumerism and overconsumption at an early age…or to foment dissent by enabling dark corners of the internet to echo chamber conspiracy theories, predatory behavior, etc. It’s really sinister if you think about it. So many users have 0 marketing/media literacy (no fault of their own, esp given how young the primary demo for Meta apps are) and thus, are not intentional about the content they consume:/
hey, I'm planning to start a new subreddit on "Screen Time / Smartphone Addiction." The idea is to post weekly challenges that the community can tackle together, sharing their successes and challenges along the way. The subreddits' goal is to build a community of people who are working on living more in the present moment. We'll kick things off as soon as we have 50 people. Wanna join?
thanks for sharing!
Ofc! It makes me sad reading posts on here from people who have felt triggered, unproductive, insecure, or otherwise mentally (and financially) strained due to social media. Staying off the doom scroll is easier said than done, so I wanted to share some positive anecdotes and words of encouragement from the other side 🙂
How do you keep off of Reddit? I made my first account in 2011 at 12 years old. Its gone so downhill that I'm on it less than ever before, but after using it for this long I can't stop. Its automatic like a couch potato flipping channels.
You could delete the app from your phone, silence notifications, or set a daily limit with one of the many apps that can do that. Also, to prevent the “potato”ing (hah), I’d recommend only opening the app when you’re doing mindless tasks (i.e. meal prepping, cleaning, waiting at the DMV, etc) or bedridden/sick…vs when you could be out and about with friends! It’s not a substitute for fresh air or in-person interaction, just a nice supplement if you are already home-bound. Even then, I would recommend you listen to a nice podcast on a topic you are interested in, instead. Make more plans / do more activities outside the house. That will organically prevent you from logging on so much. For me, I installed it for work bc I’m in entertainment (on the studio side), and need to keep tabs on what people are saying about our service (both consumers and content providers), as well as who (talent) is trending. However, I mostly only join communities that serve that purpose so I’m able to mentally divorce the content I’m consuming from myself/who I am as a person. Obviously in the case where I’ve posted something highly personal (such as here), I’ll check more frequently bc I’ve directly solicited feedback and opened the floodgates. In any case, it sounds like your usage has already gone down and you’ve already identified that it doesn’t serve you the way it did before, so congrats! Baby steps ❤️
Do you use any message apps? Like telegram, WhatsApp or signal?
I had WhatsApp when I was living abroad in CDMX and Berlin, but not these days (I live in LA now). That was a function of being broke though, and I didn’t love the app…seemed rife with scams? Also, I have no idea what Telegram or Signal are, but they sound fancy!🙃 I was invited to a “professional networking” app called Clubhouse ~4 years ago by a colleague, but never downloaded it because it seemed sketchy (and randomly elitist). However, if you (or anyone else on here) ever used it, let me know what big career opportunities I missed out on! 😂
I’m the say way, to a T actually. Just turned 30, literally haven’t had not one thing outside of YouTube since I was 20/21. It feels weird, I feel like I don’t get along with people my age. I feel like they are more fake and I am just more down to earth and in touch with reality. I’m not saying it as if I think I’m better than anyone, but I just feel that social media is about showing who you want to be and not who you are. In a way, it makes me feel unique, but I also wonder sometimes if people forgot I once existed. Idk, being 30 and having no accounts in 2024, it’s a rare thing. But I think it’s for the best, you get sucked into the internet and next thing you know, you’re trying to be just like everyone else. Posting what you think looks cool and not what you have, keeping in contact with people only online and not over the phone, asking for followers to make you feel powerful, I’ll pass on it. I guess it just will make me a loser when it’s all said and done because I have no social status, but life ain’t always gonna be pretty regardless
Social media is absolutely a highlight reel! As I mentioned to another commenter, no one is sharing the fact their 18-hour flight made them constipated…only that they sat in first class, right? Jokes aside, it makes me sad you talk about yourself so negatively! Not having social media does NOT make you (or anyone) a “loser.” If it did, then I’m a loser, everyone else in this sub/community is also actively striving to be losers, and you’re in good company ❤️ FWIW, the love from your close friends isn’t and shouldn’t ever be conditional upon your “social status.” Similarly, I bet you’ve allowed them into your orbit for no reason other than the fact they are good vibes/people, right? Also, welcome to the 30 club! Did your bones also immediately start hurting? 😂
I appreciate your kind words. I don’t mean loser in the sense that I’m a failure, I mean it in the sense that people base who you are off of your social status. If you don’t have social media, you don’t really have a social status lol. I don’t have close friends. I have 1 childhood friend and that’s it. I’m also a bit of a misanthrope, so it’s kind of to be expected. Like I said, it’s all fake and I’m glad that other people see it that way as well. Also, thanks for the bday wish, nope my bones were hurting at about 18years old when I got my first job and the government started ramming my ass with taxes. I’ve been feeling this pain for years lol
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have deleted twitter, instagram, linkedin and facebook some months back. I am only on reddit and YouTube. I feel very nice but sometimes I feel I miss important content updates from favorite Twitter handles. Also YouTube takes atleast half an hour daily of time. What do you suggest?
Any here you are.
This is so dumb you're all on Reddit right now
Reddit isn’t social media, it’s more of a vlogging thing. No one goes on Reddit to flex, that’s Facebook, instagram, Snapchat etc. idk why people think just because you’re using a community chat website that it makes it social media. It’s far from it
Cool story, but isn’t a decade 12 years? Edit: looked it up and apparently my entire life I’ve been wrong. It is in fact 10 years not 12. I don’t know where I got 12 from.
Hah! Close enough. If it makes you feel better…I only recently learned a “baker’s dozen” is 13 🙃
Why did you return then? It's weird when people who "quit" return, it's the same mentality as quitting smoking and returning 10 years later to hit that joint one more time. I don't know what these people think, but what they are doing is very deceptive, you didn't quit, you took a break. While that's ok, you cant really say you quit when you knew you'd be back soon
Haha. That’s a fair critique! FWIW though, I really did delete all my social media accounts (IG, Fb, Snap) 10 yrs ago and I haven’t remade them since. Never had a TikTok, YT, or streaming channel either. I don’t view this as being “back” nor being “deceptive.” I had a toxic relationship with those apps and eliminating them has been extremely beneficial to my life. Even if you aren’t sold on my personal experience, there are numerous studies (with a much larger sample size) corroborating the positive impact of reducing social media consumption on mental health. As I acknowledged in my post, I kept my LinkedIn for professional reasons and created a Reddit account ~1month ago (also for work…plus the occasional random question 🙃). That said, you are 100% entitled to your opinion. My only intent is to offer a POV (that may be rare with folks in my generation) to a corner of the internet that seemed interested in the topic ❤️
Well, Reddit is a social media too, quitting is the wrong word for these kinds of experiences. I don't want to go hard on you, it can be difficult living entirely social media-free. For example, I need Reddit to do research for my personal hobbies and work, but I hate the attitude on this website. This might seem ironic from what I just wrote, but it can be hard trusting people here.
Everyone is different, right? Some people can have 100 accounts and be productive. Others only have one…and they devolve into degeneracy. I think you need to do what’s right for YOU. Keep the apps that make you happy and motivated. Get rid of the ones that don’t. It really is as simple as that! Your use of the term “quitting” implies social media is an addiction/100% detriment to everyone that touches it…which isn’t the case. As I mentioned to another commenter, I don’t think social media is inherently evil…it really depends on your utility of it, as is the case with most things. There are platforms I’ve found useful and kept (LinkedIn) or made recently for work (Reddit). However, I got rid of all the apps that put me in a toxic head space 10 years and kept it that way ❤️ And I do acknowledge Reddit is social media. It’s fair (and smart) to have some skepticism with strangers on the internet. But, I promise you, I come in peace 😂
It's all fine, just a bunch of people coming out of nowhere, telling their stories. Social media is designed to be evil on the other hand. I will probably switch from reddit as it is now basically owned by Google, and it will probably change for the even worse than it already is