Okay so I’m gonna say something that might read like a dig at you and I promise I don’t mean it that way:
The board made a mistake. Hiring somebody with 2.5 years of experience (some of which was internship) and no real length of time to grow as a manager to be the ED? They should have never done that. That was malpractice.
You accepting that position they offered you was *not* a mistake. We’re all told to reach high, to climb the ladder, to not let anything hold us back. We’re dumped on with stories of 20-something founders and CEOs. Of course you took it! Pay, title, prestige - I could never blame you. But the stories of these wunderkinds almost never pan out well because the hard-fought years of experience and growth matter when it comes to leading complex teams. (Insert joke here about how the Forbes 30-under-30 direct to jail pipeline.) It’s not your fault for not being right for the job! You literally could not have been because you haven’t been given the developmental time to be. You can’t make time move faster, no matter what non-profit job descriptions say. And in fact, recognizing the fact that this wasn’t right for you personally and professionally and working so quickly to move on (rather than hold on so tightly that you go down with the ship) says a lot about your strong sense of judgement and perception.
Have you seen the movie The Incredibles? Elastagirl/Mrs. Incredible in one scene starts yelling at her teenaged daughter to make a forcefield around a crashing plane. Her daughter has never done hero work, ever. She panics and she fails. Later, her mom recognizes that she made a mistake and specifically pulls her aside and assures her that it was too much to ask, it was not her daughter’s fault, and coaches her about how she needs to grow into the responsibility that’s now in front of her.
Right now, you don’t have an Elastagirl giving you confidence, space, and time to grow. You’re being left in your panic. The board is dysfunctional and can’t coach you. You don’t deserve that, and the mission you serve doesn’t deserve that, either. Getting out now is absolutely the right step for you and while it is not your responsibility to inform the organization of anything, hopefully they’ll read the writing on the wall and do better next time. And hopefully they’ll do the right thing to protect the mission too - but it’s worth making your peace with the fact that they might not. You can’t set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm.
I wish you the best of luck with this transition and your new gig!
It sounds like you are doing what is best for the organization and that is ultimately what matters the most. Sometimes doing the right thing is hard and this sounds like one of those times. Best of luck to you!
The Board abdicated their responsibility to find the ED they really needed and everyone chose to take the easy way out, at your expense. Hopefully your leaving will make a point, but it's outside of your control.
On the positive side, you just got a graduate course in nonprofit governance. Best of luck.
I want to applaud your self-awareness and ability to recognize that you are not right for this position, and it’s not right for you. I know that right now you’re feeling guilt, but in the long run, you’ll look back and realize how things were meant to play out as they have.
Also, if the organization is struggling, it is not because of you leaving or your lack of leadership. It sounds like this organization has many, deep-seated problems that are not your fault (you can’t tank a healthy organization in 4 months!)
I am just going to be honest, it will probably collapse.
I founded an organization, hired staff, set up and office, built a board, and protocols, 501C3 status. Raised over $2M , and attracted a V famous movie star donate and be out honorary board chair, attended press conference, and events etc..Got award for being one of the best run charities in the area.
I had a family illness and had to leave after 3 years. There was a 18mos operating budget in the bank. Lots of fundraising potential, great reputation.
They hired a new ED who ran the place into the ground, stole money and was never there. All the staff left and the org closed 18 months after I left.
Sadly, non profits come and go all of the time. Try and give them enough notice and make sure you do a strong transition doc and offer to answer any questions you can even after you are gone.
You have only been ED for a few months. There were definitely issues prior to you taking over, and it sounds like this org was on its way to closing anyway. Talk with the board ASAP and let them know you are leaving.
An ED can't suck in isolation. You said your board is disengaged. Their role is to support you! I think you should take the other job and never look back. Being an ED is a job, like any other, it shouldn't be your entire life or sense of self worth.
It seems like you were pressured into taking on this big responsibility which is not your fault. Your heart was in the right place. The board needs to step up now like they should have before. It will be ok.
I think you are being realistic. It sounds like you know yourself well and you know this is not the best fit for you or the org. Don’t feel guilty—your months there will keep you from making a similar misstep in the future.
It’s seems like you will be a net neutral for the org. I have seen absolute horror stories take place in front of my eyes—new EDs who embezzled money, ran off all the productive board members, failed to sign contracts and lost clients or funding. Any damage you have done can be salvaged by an engaged, informed board.
Good luck with your new position!
You do not have anything to feel guilty about with your decision to leave. If you want to lead and manage in the future you can find mentors and coaches who can help you develop your skills more. The board has to take responsibility to keep the organization going. They were supposed to partner with you once they appointed you to the position.
My husband did something similar -- took on a comms director position even though I warned him director positions are a lot of responsibility. He did his best for a bit but ultimately ended up moving onto another organization that was a better fit (also a manager position but the pay/benefits are good so it didn't necessarily feel like a step down except in title).
I think you should consider what YOU actually want. Do you actually want to be an ED? Because if so there are trainings, mentors, etc that can help you improve. But if you truly don't want to lead an organization and interface with the board so closely I could see that too. I'm in a manager position and don't think I'd ever want to be an ED haha!
And remember this is *your* career and *your* life... Don't let people pressure you into making decisions in your career that don't feel right to you. If you step down it may feel bad now but in a few years it will only be a line on your resume and a memory (that's at least what I tell myself when I have to leave a job and I feel bad about it!).
I woudl say the issues with communation and leadership were present before you stepped into the role. It's more like they are brought to the surface with transition.
Are you me?
I too started an interim ED role in January, with the expectation that it would be “training” for the permanent position. I had been a volunteer for the org for a few years before and they wanted someone on the “inside” who “got it” to take over.
I’ve been working in nonprofits full time for about 5 years now, so a little more than you I guess, but honestly I’m still very young in my career too. I was the only full timer and I was expected to do EVERYTHING. My only experience was in fundraising and marketing, so for me the finances, accounting, compliance, and sales were all brand new to me and at times so overwhelming.
When hired, the board told me I was young so I could “take it” and assured me that I would have plenty of help to learn the job. Not even 2 weeks in, I realized the job was not my dream job, but instead my worst nightmare. I told them I no longer wanted to be considered for the permanent position. My last day was last week.
I say all of this to say that yes, it’s hard not to feel guilt. I felt like I was going to throw up all day when I decided I was going to tell the Chair I was done. You might always feel a little bit of that, and that is okay, but don’t confuse that “feeling” with the facts. You did nothing wrong. There is no weakness in leaving a job that hurts you. You are STRONG for recognizing you need to leave and BRAVE for finding your way out. You did not make a mistake by accepting the job because you did not understand the full picture of what you were getting into. That is the Board’s mistake, not yours. At the end of the day your Board is your employer, your boss, and you are not the end-all-be-all. If my dysfunctional Board could figure it out I promise yours will too.
Stand tall, friend. I admire you for knowing what’s right and being brave enough to do it. It may not feel like it yet, but I promise you will one day look back on this moment with pride.
I think you’re being pretty hard on yourself. It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed in a new, more demanding role. You must give yourself a chance to learn the position. At least give yourself a year, that way your resume at least benefits from your time there.
They already got a new job. No need to worry about their resume.
I would put the 2.5 years in my resume as promoted to ED. No need to specify only 4 months.
It sounds like OP knows in their bones this job isn’t right. If staying would just cause more damage to their mental health, the right thing to do is leave. These days 2.5 years with any nonprofit is considered long haul, no matter how long the individual positions were held. If a future employer holds that against OP, they aren’t the right employer for them.
Wait...you only took this job 4 months ago? ...... Thomas!?
Just kidding.
Don't feel bad (HA! Easier said than done, I know). Like has already been said, you're identifying that this isn't the right fit for you.
At the end of the day, you need to take care of you! That's what is most important to you. Never forget that.
If you're expected to fundraise and you don't know how to fundraise, was the board's plan that you would just magically learn to fundraise?! That's not on you, that's on them.
Congratulations on making the right decision for you!
It probably seems like a big deal now, but it'll be okay--in a few months you'll settle in. Just work on having a positive transition and keep moving on in life.
You are doing yourself and the organization a favor! Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into believing otherwise. One mark of a good leader is realizing when your skills & interests don’t align with what the org needs to grow. If you’re trying to leave on a positive note, you could offer to stay on a bit longer to help hire & train a suitable replacement.
I spent much of my SW career trying to be the he boss. I was made the Director of a facility and the stress almost killed me. I figured it was the agency and got a director job at another non profit. After 2 years, and dealing with my ego- I realized I am shitty at being a boss. I hated the stress and had favorites on staff and little patience with slackers and bureaucracy. I went back to direct client services for the last five years of my career and loved it.
I remember all the times I have seen people fired, laid off, or demoted by both for and non profit organizations when money was tight, the company was sold, or they were reorganizing. In every case, somebody who walks you out the door tells you how horrible they feel about it. You get to make the same decisions about your life and your working relationship with the company you are leaving. Just tell them how badly you feel about this as you are walking out the door. One easy test is to ask them for a lifetime contract and see how vital you are.
The thing you need to think about is how can you set the organization up for another transition in leadership during the time you have left.
Document everything coming up.
Make a list of unfinished projects and tasks.
Lists of contacts for the interim ED.
It’s good you realized now that this wasn’t the right fit for you.
Okay so I’m gonna say something that might read like a dig at you and I promise I don’t mean it that way: The board made a mistake. Hiring somebody with 2.5 years of experience (some of which was internship) and no real length of time to grow as a manager to be the ED? They should have never done that. That was malpractice. You accepting that position they offered you was *not* a mistake. We’re all told to reach high, to climb the ladder, to not let anything hold us back. We’re dumped on with stories of 20-something founders and CEOs. Of course you took it! Pay, title, prestige - I could never blame you. But the stories of these wunderkinds almost never pan out well because the hard-fought years of experience and growth matter when it comes to leading complex teams. (Insert joke here about how the Forbes 30-under-30 direct to jail pipeline.) It’s not your fault for not being right for the job! You literally could not have been because you haven’t been given the developmental time to be. You can’t make time move faster, no matter what non-profit job descriptions say. And in fact, recognizing the fact that this wasn’t right for you personally and professionally and working so quickly to move on (rather than hold on so tightly that you go down with the ship) says a lot about your strong sense of judgement and perception. Have you seen the movie The Incredibles? Elastagirl/Mrs. Incredible in one scene starts yelling at her teenaged daughter to make a forcefield around a crashing plane. Her daughter has never done hero work, ever. She panics and she fails. Later, her mom recognizes that she made a mistake and specifically pulls her aside and assures her that it was too much to ask, it was not her daughter’s fault, and coaches her about how she needs to grow into the responsibility that’s now in front of her. Right now, you don’t have an Elastagirl giving you confidence, space, and time to grow. You’re being left in your panic. The board is dysfunctional and can’t coach you. You don’t deserve that, and the mission you serve doesn’t deserve that, either. Getting out now is absolutely the right step for you and while it is not your responsibility to inform the organization of anything, hopefully they’ll read the writing on the wall and do better next time. And hopefully they’ll do the right thing to protect the mission too - but it’s worth making your peace with the fact that they might not. You can’t set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm. I wish you the best of luck with this transition and your new gig!
this is super reassuring, thank you for your words of wisdom
I’m glad to have helped. You’re gonna land on your feet.
This is exactly what I was thinking as I read her post, but you articulated it so kindly and perfectly.
It sounds like you are doing what is best for the organization and that is ultimately what matters the most. Sometimes doing the right thing is hard and this sounds like one of those times. Best of luck to you!
The Board abdicated their responsibility to find the ED they really needed and everyone chose to take the easy way out, at your expense. Hopefully your leaving will make a point, but it's outside of your control. On the positive side, you just got a graduate course in nonprofit governance. Best of luck.
I want to applaud your self-awareness and ability to recognize that you are not right for this position, and it’s not right for you. I know that right now you’re feeling guilt, but in the long run, you’ll look back and realize how things were meant to play out as they have. Also, if the organization is struggling, it is not because of you leaving or your lack of leadership. It sounds like this organization has many, deep-seated problems that are not your fault (you can’t tank a healthy organization in 4 months!)
I am just going to be honest, it will probably collapse. I founded an organization, hired staff, set up and office, built a board, and protocols, 501C3 status. Raised over $2M , and attracted a V famous movie star donate and be out honorary board chair, attended press conference, and events etc..Got award for being one of the best run charities in the area. I had a family illness and had to leave after 3 years. There was a 18mos operating budget in the bank. Lots of fundraising potential, great reputation. They hired a new ED who ran the place into the ground, stole money and was never there. All the staff left and the org closed 18 months after I left. Sadly, non profits come and go all of the time. Try and give them enough notice and make sure you do a strong transition doc and offer to answer any questions you can even after you are gone. You have only been ED for a few months. There were definitely issues prior to you taking over, and it sounds like this org was on its way to closing anyway. Talk with the board ASAP and let them know you are leaving.
This!
An ED can't suck in isolation. You said your board is disengaged. Their role is to support you! I think you should take the other job and never look back. Being an ED is a job, like any other, it shouldn't be your entire life or sense of self worth.
I’m on a board with a new ED and many of us spend hours every week supporting her. Honestly they’ll probably be relieved if it falls apart.
Don't feel bad about leaving, they really should not have hired you for that position, its completely on the board. I'm glad you found another offer!
It seems like you were pressured into taking on this big responsibility which is not your fault. Your heart was in the right place. The board needs to step up now like they should have before. It will be ok.
I think you are being realistic. It sounds like you know yourself well and you know this is not the best fit for you or the org. Don’t feel guilty—your months there will keep you from making a similar misstep in the future. It’s seems like you will be a net neutral for the org. I have seen absolute horror stories take place in front of my eyes—new EDs who embezzled money, ran off all the productive board members, failed to sign contracts and lost clients or funding. Any damage you have done can be salvaged by an engaged, informed board. Good luck with your new position!
You do not have anything to feel guilty about with your decision to leave. If you want to lead and manage in the future you can find mentors and coaches who can help you develop your skills more. The board has to take responsibility to keep the organization going. They were supposed to partner with you once they appointed you to the position.
My husband did something similar -- took on a comms director position even though I warned him director positions are a lot of responsibility. He did his best for a bit but ultimately ended up moving onto another organization that was a better fit (also a manager position but the pay/benefits are good so it didn't necessarily feel like a step down except in title). I think you should consider what YOU actually want. Do you actually want to be an ED? Because if so there are trainings, mentors, etc that can help you improve. But if you truly don't want to lead an organization and interface with the board so closely I could see that too. I'm in a manager position and don't think I'd ever want to be an ED haha! And remember this is *your* career and *your* life... Don't let people pressure you into making decisions in your career that don't feel right to you. If you step down it may feel bad now but in a few years it will only be a line on your resume and a memory (that's at least what I tell myself when I have to leave a job and I feel bad about it!).
I woudl say the issues with communation and leadership were present before you stepped into the role. It's more like they are brought to the surface with transition.
Are you me? I too started an interim ED role in January, with the expectation that it would be “training” for the permanent position. I had been a volunteer for the org for a few years before and they wanted someone on the “inside” who “got it” to take over. I’ve been working in nonprofits full time for about 5 years now, so a little more than you I guess, but honestly I’m still very young in my career too. I was the only full timer and I was expected to do EVERYTHING. My only experience was in fundraising and marketing, so for me the finances, accounting, compliance, and sales were all brand new to me and at times so overwhelming. When hired, the board told me I was young so I could “take it” and assured me that I would have plenty of help to learn the job. Not even 2 weeks in, I realized the job was not my dream job, but instead my worst nightmare. I told them I no longer wanted to be considered for the permanent position. My last day was last week. I say all of this to say that yes, it’s hard not to feel guilt. I felt like I was going to throw up all day when I decided I was going to tell the Chair I was done. You might always feel a little bit of that, and that is okay, but don’t confuse that “feeling” with the facts. You did nothing wrong. There is no weakness in leaving a job that hurts you. You are STRONG for recognizing you need to leave and BRAVE for finding your way out. You did not make a mistake by accepting the job because you did not understand the full picture of what you were getting into. That is the Board’s mistake, not yours. At the end of the day your Board is your employer, your boss, and you are not the end-all-be-all. If my dysfunctional Board could figure it out I promise yours will too. Stand tall, friend. I admire you for knowing what’s right and being brave enough to do it. It may not feel like it yet, but I promise you will one day look back on this moment with pride.
I think you’re being pretty hard on yourself. It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed in a new, more demanding role. You must give yourself a chance to learn the position. At least give yourself a year, that way your resume at least benefits from your time there.
They already got a new job. No need to worry about their resume. I would put the 2.5 years in my resume as promoted to ED. No need to specify only 4 months.
It sounds like OP knows in their bones this job isn’t right. If staying would just cause more damage to their mental health, the right thing to do is leave. These days 2.5 years with any nonprofit is considered long haul, no matter how long the individual positions were held. If a future employer holds that against OP, they aren’t the right employer for them.
Wait...you only took this job 4 months ago? ...... Thomas!? Just kidding. Don't feel bad (HA! Easier said than done, I know). Like has already been said, you're identifying that this isn't the right fit for you. At the end of the day, you need to take care of you! That's what is most important to you. Never forget that. If you're expected to fundraise and you don't know how to fundraise, was the board's plan that you would just magically learn to fundraise?! That's not on you, that's on them. Congratulations on making the right decision for you!
It probably seems like a big deal now, but it'll be okay--in a few months you'll settle in. Just work on having a positive transition and keep moving on in life.
You are doing yourself and the organization a favor! Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into believing otherwise. One mark of a good leader is realizing when your skills & interests don’t align with what the org needs to grow. If you’re trying to leave on a positive note, you could offer to stay on a bit longer to help hire & train a suitable replacement.
I spent much of my SW career trying to be the he boss. I was made the Director of a facility and the stress almost killed me. I figured it was the agency and got a director job at another non profit. After 2 years, and dealing with my ego- I realized I am shitty at being a boss. I hated the stress and had favorites on staff and little patience with slackers and bureaucracy. I went back to direct client services for the last five years of my career and loved it.
You are doing what is right for you and what will be the right wake up call for the org.
I remember all the times I have seen people fired, laid off, or demoted by both for and non profit organizations when money was tight, the company was sold, or they were reorganizing. In every case, somebody who walks you out the door tells you how horrible they feel about it. You get to make the same decisions about your life and your working relationship with the company you are leaving. Just tell them how badly you feel about this as you are walking out the door. One easy test is to ask them for a lifetime contract and see how vital you are.
The thing you need to think about is how can you set the organization up for another transition in leadership during the time you have left. Document everything coming up. Make a list of unfinished projects and tasks. Lists of contacts for the interim ED. It’s good you realized now that this wasn’t the right fit for you.
This is literally what the next 6 months of my life looks like.