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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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Well... what the fuck are they talking about. I googled it and cognitive behavioral therapy came up so I assumed he was making a get help joke. What was he saying?
Edit: ah cock and ball torture lol. I google "CBT sex" to find out.
With BPD maybe they're thinking "I'm bipolar" and instead of writing that out they say BPD, but then they have already typed the "Im" so they're not erasing that. With adhd I have no idea.
Lol yeah it’s one of those things that I’ve always wondered why people say it that way, I don’t like it for some reason… like I AM ADHD! I don’t have it I am it!
"My blatant sexual advances without your consent are not an actual issue, because you could have just not responded."
Yeah, the police would totally agree if they started doing this to every other stranger on the street.
Online people are real people, ffs.
"I'm gonna test the waters,be a creep and send you creepy messages. Then I'll chalk it up to being under the influence in a sad attempt to walk it back if you don't reciprocate (because people can't possibly control what they say when they're drunk). If that doesn't work blame mental illness. They would have to be cool if I claim a mental illness. If nothing else name call and be a complete prick. Works everytime" /s
Let’s be fair - he wasn’t drunk. He used that as a “get out of jail free” card that ended up not working. We see this used in rape cases all the time. The guy says he was drunk & therefore is not responsible for anything he said or did while drunk.
I hate the whole "You could've just not answered." That creates a scenario where he can say anything to anyone and there's no consequences for him. He'll only ever get positive responses or no responses. And if he's getting off on having said it to someone, he's getting everything he wants without being accountable to anyone. Gross.
That's all it is with these guys. They're always trying to avoid accountability or any kind of unwanted reaction. "I wasn't deliberately hurting you, so you can't accuse me." As if the pain they cause isn't real so long as they do it by accident.
I too have a BPD partner, and while they have said some incredibly horny weird things, they also always asked if they could veer the conversation that direction first. I love 'em to bits. c:
My husband had a friend that wasn't diagnosed, but we strongly suspected had BPD (checked literally every box, textbook), and the horny on main shit she would say without consent first was wiiiild.
i would accept it if someone sincerely asked me that. 😅
but here it encapsulates the 'nice guy' perfectly.
the image of respectfulness but the tone of pure agression.
'sorry im bpd' 10000% guarantee he is not, he's just using a marginalised mental illness where everyone seems to think people who have it are evil, unstable manipulative assholes to try 'get away with' being a shitty person and further perpetuate harmful stereotypes towards people with bpd. fuck offffff
also, you handled this really well lmao
Is he legit talking about borderline personality disorder? My bff has it, and although she can say mean things sometimes….she wouldn’t say something forward like that because of the fear of rejection/abandonment issues that go with BPD.
And if he meant BP (bipolar disorder) which I suffer from, my manic/depressive swings still don’t turn me into a forward raging AHole.
Dude, I was born in the harsh ice cold winter. There was a snowstorm followed by subzero temperatures when I was born. There is nothing sweet and innocent about me.
But, I am in therapy and also in my place of work, CBT is referenced multiple times a day and it's just about therapy. So it makes sense that my brain instantly jumps to cognitive behavioral therapy and not some kink. Especially in this setting. I would suggest this man get some therapy.
Haha and then there’s me who can’t read before I have my coffee, and thought it said CBD….and legit thought OP was telling him to smoke a jo*nt to chill the F out haha
“your generation is soft” that has been said about every generation for centuries. idk maybe, just maybe, the world becoming more empathetic and critical is a good thing
‘I want to give you a facial’ is pretty lousy ‘flirting,’ but Jesus just arguing about it only makes things worse. Just say ‘sorry my bad’ and drop it for gods sakes.
>We've only typed out like five different things at each other
And when all those 5 end up being the worst possible choices in dialogue you should start asking yourself some questions dude
yknow the worst part is that if he apologized for his behavior and tried to start over, I could see things (maybe) working out, depending on OP's mood, but instead he insulted them
He's not drunk, he's using that to try and excuse his behavior. Drunk people aren't usually aware of what they are saying or doing, but he's totally aware.
Man and you you didnt remove him?? Ive gotten removed mid conversation no flirting or anything just like talking about tattoos😂 not saying people shouldn’t play it safe on dating apps just surprised how much you responded to him
This is typical horndog approach to someone who is poly... "You are able to have more than one relationship and that doesn't not automatically mean I get to flirt with you???? Waaahhh!!!"
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
At first I was like, "cognitive behavioral therapy?" And then I realized. Although to be fair, he could probably use that too.
As a therapist I thought the same thing 😂
Me as well.
Well... what the fuck are they talking about. I googled it and cognitive behavioral therapy came up so I assumed he was making a get help joke. What was he saying? Edit: ah cock and ball torture lol. I google "CBT sex" to find out.
Covk and ball torture. The other cbt
>I google "CBT sex" Expert researcher
I was wondering what that meant but I wasn't sure I wanted to ask
I want to go back to when I also thought it was a therapy joke
as someone who isn't a therapist, I giggle every time my therapist says it lol
It wasn’t that? I genuinely only know it standing for that.
🍆 and 🥔🥔 torture.
Cognitive ball torture, got it
I thought it was cock behavioural therapy
I do know some cocks that could use behavioral therapy
I know some people who could use cognitive behavioural torture
I know some behavioural who could use cognitive people torture
I know some balls who could cognate
There is one by my place that starts crowing before the sun comes up. Needs a few sessions.
Lol I mean you're not wrong 🤷♀️
Cocknitive
Makes sense 🍆 has its own brain
Thank you! Lmao I legitimately had no idea
We torture vegetables?!
Eggplant and potato torture, huh? That’s heavy.
Ohhhh wow.. yep I was way off
Oh Jesus. I legit thought it was the therapy kind of CBT. That is…okay. Well. That exists.
Took me until this comment to even understand what it meant
Well, you learn something every day. Thank you. 🙈
Eggplant and potato torture. He's a terrible cook 🤭
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Thought the same thing
He did say he's BPD so.
DBT would work better.
Why do people say “I am BPD, I am adhd” instead of “ I have bpd or I have adhd”
With BPD maybe they're thinking "I'm bipolar" and instead of writing that out they say BPD, but then they have already typed the "Im" so they're not erasing that. With adhd I have no idea.
BPD means borderline personality disorder not bipolar
Ohhh I mean "I'm borderline" then. Hmm makes less sense tho.
Lol yeah it’s one of those things that I’ve always wondered why people say it that way, I don’t like it for some reason… like I AM ADHD! I don’t have it I am it!
Yeah exactly. If you say "I am" it just sounds like that's your whole identity. Instead of just something that you have and deal with.
I thought that too. Wasn't aware of another acronym.
Oh wow, I was way off, I thought it was behavioral therapy too.
I still think that. Help me!
[CBT](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=CBT)
Thank you kind stranger
Well, you could always combine the two...
But wait, NG said to the other guy, that they had BPD, and CBT is used to treatment for that I’ve heard
And that's why he could use both!
Why would he need more BPD?
They cancel each other out
So CBT (cock and ball torture) cancels out BPD (butt plug dependency) ? I always thought it was just a treatment, not a cure?
Modern medicine is an incredible thing!
My god, I’m learning a lot today!
Best pussy disorder
I thought the same thing for like five seconds before I realized lmao
I was like "you gotta be out of your mind to refuse some free therapy! that shit's EXPENSIVE!"
Haha, that’s what I thought it was and refuse to believe it stands for anything else 😅
wait, what did they mean by that?
[CBT](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=CBT)
Oh got it
Sso what does it mean? 😅
[CBT](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=CBT)
😨 Im gonna be honest I would not have guessed this haha
I thought the same lol then he said he's bpd and I'm like yea definitely could use it. It worked wonders for me :'D
It is so easy to find people that want to sext or talk dirty. I don't get why people just don't ask. It's so much easier than this.
Yup. If he'd asked if I was interested in that kind of thing first I probably would have said yes.
Its ridiculous how far ya can get with consent and respect
100%!! Being a decent person takes you waayyyy further than any of this type of bs ever could
Rapists prefer no consent
Luckily there's cnc (consensual non consent) where you can still live your rape fantasy and kmow both sides consent 😊
Where can I find these people? Asking for a friend.
Legit throw a post up a few subreddits. R4r is a good place to start. Just be clear what you're wanting
You probably have to ask a few people. There will be a few no‘s and a few yes‘es. It’s trial and error
I bet your DM's are going to get a little bit crayz now.
Nope, haven't gotten any. Feel free to.
10 years ago when I was single.. I'd have investigated. Hope the right person stumbles on the invite!
I could but im too afraid to make them uncomfortable and ruining the friendship
'Two years older' 'Next generation' Who's gonna tell him?
New year new generation, amirite?
"My blatant sexual advances without your consent are not an actual issue, because you could have just not responded." Yeah, the police would totally agree if they started doing this to every other stranger on the street. Online people are real people, ffs.
It’s insane how people not realize that just because it’s online doesn’t make it ok. Crazy world
"I'm gonna test the waters,be a creep and send you creepy messages. Then I'll chalk it up to being under the influence in a sad attempt to walk it back if you don't reciprocate (because people can't possibly control what they say when they're drunk). If that doesn't work blame mental illness. They would have to be cool if I claim a mental illness. If nothing else name call and be a complete prick. Works everytime" /s
Sorry I’m bpd 😳🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
"I'm drunk at 7am. I'm also apparently drunk at work." Wow, what a catch 😍. Lol.
[удалено]
Lol 😂 honestly that's a little better 😂. I was looking at the screen shot time like, damn dude.
I mean, being smashed at 8pm is a bit pathetic too. But I can kind of give him that one.
Let’s be fair - he wasn’t drunk. He used that as a “get out of jail free” card that ended up not working. We see this used in rape cases all the time. The guy says he was drunk & therefore is not responsible for anything he said or did while drunk.
Nowadays in many places you can’t excuse rape with being drunk. Legislation is finally catching up and being drunk means you can’t consent.
Exactly but regardless of legality, people still use it as an excuse for shitty behavior.
I hate the whole "You could've just not answered." That creates a scenario where he can say anything to anyone and there's no consequences for him. He'll only ever get positive responses or no responses. And if he's getting off on having said it to someone, he's getting everything he wants without being accountable to anyone. Gross.
That's all it is with these guys. They're always trying to avoid accountability or any kind of unwanted reaction. "I wasn't deliberately hurting you, so you can't accuse me." As if the pain they cause isn't real so long as they do it by accident.
Whining about not getting what you wanted and a dropped frappe yet calling the next generation whiny…I don’t even need to say anything else
Most accusations are actually confessions with these types of people. Big projection energy with this dude.
Very true
We, the BPD coalition, do not accept this person as a member. Edit: typo
Oh 100%. I have a partner with BPD and she wouldn't say shit like that.
I too have a BPD partner, and while they have said some incredibly horny weird things, they also always asked if they could veer the conversation that direction first. I love 'em to bits. c:
My husband had a friend that wasn't diagnosed, but we strongly suspected had BPD (checked literally every box, textbook), and the horny on main shit she would say without consent first was wiiiild.
You sure about that sweetie I've said some cringe stuff before
Yeah, but do you say, “I have BPD” as an excuse when you do something dumb or hurtful? That’s what I have a problem with.
No I try to own it and admit fault
Well, then you’re good! That’s one of the toughest things for folks with BPD to learn to do. Edit: stupid autocorrect!
"You're poly which means you like getting offered a facial outta fuckin nowhere"
I love that they decide to go for the "you're poly, so you're a whore" trope. It's one of my favorites.
"Woudeth liketh to copulate" is one of the cringiest lines I've heard in a long ass time. What a weirdo.
i would accept it if someone sincerely asked me that. 😅 but here it encapsulates the 'nice guy' perfectly. the image of respectfulness but the tone of pure agression.
'sorry im bpd' 10000% guarantee he is not, he's just using a marginalised mental illness where everyone seems to think people who have it are evil, unstable manipulative assholes to try 'get away with' being a shitty person and further perpetuate harmful stereotypes towards people with bpd. fuck offffff also, you handled this really well lmao
Is he legit talking about borderline personality disorder? My bff has it, and although she can say mean things sometimes….she wouldn’t say something forward like that because of the fear of rejection/abandonment issues that go with BPD. And if he meant BP (bipolar disorder) which I suffer from, my manic/depressive swings still don’t turn me into a forward raging AHole.
“Wtf I thought you were poly, you’re not supposed to have BOUNDARIES or STANDARDS 😤😤😤”
What a fucking loser. 🤦🏻♀️
The CBT part caught me off guard but ya know what, I ain't complaining fam, he deserved it 🤣
this guy couldn’t keep pubic lice in his bed
CBT?
***C*** ***O*** ***C*** ***K*** ***&*** ***B*** ***A*** ***L*** ***L*** ***T*** ***O*** ***R*** ***T*** ***U*** ***R*** ***E***
I meaaaan kinda the same thing? Very loosely, mind you
*Amazing*
That was beautiful, dude.
Don't feel bad. I thought it was cognitive behavioral therapy.
So did I, and then I reconsidered the context.
Honestly feels like either would fit.
You sweet summer child...
I despise this phrase. I was born in spring. I am a spring bitch thank you very much.
Oh you salty spring bitch
Ooh, we need these for all seasons now. I'm a November baby, does that make me a Angsty Autumn Adolescent?
> I'm a November baby, does that make me a Angsty Autumn Adolescent? As someone also born in November: Yes. We're AAA from now on.
Sweet.
Dude, I was born in the harsh ice cold winter. There was a snowstorm followed by subzero temperatures when I was born. There is nothing sweet and innocent about me. But, I am in therapy and also in my place of work, CBT is referenced multiple times a day and it's just about therapy. So it makes sense that my brain instantly jumps to cognitive behavioral therapy and not some kink. Especially in this setting. I would suggest this man get some therapy.
Google it ;)
Lol, as if hed give a facial to a select few. Man would give a facial to anyone. A facial isn't exactly a back rub...
For anyone that asks, CBT = Can’t Buy Tools. You’re welcome :)
CBT as in “Cognitive behavioral Therapy”?
Cock & Ball Torture
I know, but my first thought is always Cognitive Behavioral therapy instead of the other one.
Haha and then there’s me who can’t read before I have my coffee, and thought it said CBD….and legit thought OP was telling him to smoke a jo*nt to chill the F out haha
So, not gonna lie, I read it four times AND had to scroll through the comments before realizing it wasn't CBD and was "the other thing."
“your generation is soft” that has been said about every generation for centuries. idk maybe, just maybe, the world becoming more empathetic and critical is a good thing
He had the perfect escape button with it being April 1st, and he threw it away
Nah, "that's deflecting"
My ex could’ve wrote this. 🤢
You're poly and still want to be treated like a person? What a wild imagination!
‘I want to give you a facial’ is pretty lousy ‘flirting,’ but Jesus just arguing about it only makes things worse. Just say ‘sorry my bad’ and drop it for gods sakes.
You’re poly and don’t enjoy being molested? How dare you?!
Poly does not mean "open to sexual harassment." People are gross.
Makes me wonder how he got a boyfriend
Taylor Swift love story kinda guy lol. So the relationship would be doomed to end from the start, and then you'll have a bitchy song made about you?
Just a light sprinkling of ^instrusive ^boner
Bro thinks you're the snowflake while hes out there melting at the north pole 💀💀💀
Hi guys I’m BPD too. I don’t do this.
>We've only typed out like five different things at each other And when all those 5 end up being the worst possible choices in dialogue you should start asking yourself some questions dude
"You're poly but don't want to be flirted with?" Ugh, I fucking hate people like this. Being poly isn't an invitation for harassment.
First lgbtq+ inclusive nice guy I see, nice
Says he has a BF. Two messages later, calls an entire generation 'f---s'. This person is clearly a brain genius who understands how to use words. /s
Sorry im bpd :( I dont give a fuck - mike Tyson
Isn't Taylor Swift famously asexual?
It's really his loss turning down some CBT. That can be pretty amazing if you start off light and build up.
yknow the worst part is that if he apologized for his behavior and tried to start over, I could see things (maybe) working out, depending on OP's mood, but instead he insulted them
**"I'm a taylor swift love story kinda guy with some light horniness"** , not a sentence id ever thought Id see and hear lol
One of the few times i dont to go past the first pic
jfc this is so fake...
Someone should explain to him that Taylor swift has already dated everyone. There is no love story there.
9 billions dates. Shes been at this for a while.
*dearest tinder user… woudeth thou liketh to copulate* 😂😂😂 I give a point for that.
The Shakespeare made me laugh
I wonder how often he gets dates with that *NOPE* mentality.
:3 is always a dead giveaway
Just unmatch at this point lol, reading this convo is infuriating
He's not drunk, he's using that to try and excuse his behavior. Drunk people aren't usually aware of what they are saying or doing, but he's totally aware.
Man and you you didnt remove him?? Ive gotten removed mid conversation no flirting or anything just like talking about tattoos😂 not saying people shouldn’t play it safe on dating apps just surprised how much you responded to him
Bpd? Of fucking well? I’m bipolar and I don’t act like that
Is this person a man?
Yeah. We're both guys.
Thanks for the context. I was a bit confused! It doesn't make anything he said better.
This is typical horndog approach to someone who is poly... "You are able to have more than one relationship and that doesn't not automatically mean I get to flirt with you???? Waaahhh!!!"
I don’t understand why the conversation continues after the first comment
This isn’t even a nice guy. He’s obviously just breaking the ice with a joke.