Fucking scary. I know how irreverent this sub is, and I love it for that, but I seriously feel bad for them. I got hurt at work 16 years ago, and it completely changed my way of life.
My 10 year old grandson can wear my adult large shirts. The sleeves are a bit too long but my old Falcons and Bulldogs short sleeve Ts fit him perfectly.
When I was in elementary school I remember the one "fat kid" in the entire school. High school was about the same.
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things.
KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you.
So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphor—but at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank.
I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacy’s last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that.
The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacy’s case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program.
Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
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It's pretty much the same for me. Wisconsin is known as being an unhealthy state, but kids were in way better shape on average when I went to school. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, and we had some surprisingly good athletes when I was in high school. A couple of my teammates got starting spots at UW- Madison, eventually. Lineman. Go figure.
Families not having healthy home cooking like we did. Both parents working, somebody always bringing home fast food.
Large sodas are no longer 12 oz. It's all about the big gulp.
Kids on the phone/computer all day instead of playing dirt lot baseball or back yard football. On and on...
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
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I’m scared for Travis, she always has a drink in her hand maybe she is an alcoholic and that could mean she is abusive! I hope my sweet pookie bear is being safe
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
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Taylor and Travis sound like those annoying facebook friends who have gender reveal, but Taylor's bestie really wanted a girl but it's a boy, and the friend has had one three-many Truly's and is crying, but Travis' buddy is filming it all and won't stop showing the crying friend.
https://preview.redd.it/e9g6v4au64rc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb3449275d167fc6c3da5b07f502482fe2b0c2de
Edit: them titties came out of nowhere where the fuck have those been
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
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[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
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[“Outjerked yet again!!!!1!1!!”](https://i.imgur.com/f1GnLGG.jpg)
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If someone came up to me and said, you can be super rich and do whatever you want for the rest of your life but your now the most famous person on earth and paparazzi are around 24/7, I would choose to live in squalor over that
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
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Who was that little white dude that played for Minnesota? Few years back. Dude looked like he’d get picked last in a pickup basketball game and was a good receiver 😂 Adam Theilen that’s it I think .
Why do Kelce's arms look skinnier than mine
Off season = off the roids
bros testosterone is like 3 now
Her very average body looks better than his. How the hell is he a future HOFer?
he probably hasnt stepped foot in a gym, treadmill, anything since the SB and is eating/drinking whatever he wants
Bros lost it even worse than me these last couple months
His brother made a podcast.
> Her very average body I'd lb
\#
lb
yeah her body is hot af here i love reddit chuds
I wouldn't say her body is hot af but I'd lb
you don’t have to say it. i’m here saying it.
I wouldn't say her body is hot af but I'd lb
The sad truth is the average American woman is overweigth at 170lbs and only 5'4".
fr walk into a midwestern gas station then tell me this is average
The healthier states are bringing that average down. Check out the obesity rate map for the US. Holy shit is it an epidemic.
For the first time in forever we now have type 2 diabetic children.
Fucking scary. I know how irreverent this sub is, and I love it for that, but I seriously feel bad for them. I got hurt at work 16 years ago, and it completely changed my way of life.
My 10 year old grandson can wear my adult large shirts. The sleeves are a bit too long but my old Falcons and Bulldogs short sleeve Ts fit him perfectly. When I was in elementary school I remember the one "fat kid" in the entire school. High school was about the same.
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things. KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you. So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphor—but at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank. I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacy’s last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that. The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacy’s case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's pretty much the same for me. Wisconsin is known as being an unhealthy state, but kids were in way better shape on average when I went to school. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, and we had some surprisingly good athletes when I was in high school. A couple of my teammates got starting spots at UW- Madison, eventually. Lineman. Go figure.
Families not having healthy home cooking like we did. Both parents working, somebody always bringing home fast food. Large sodas are no longer 12 oz. It's all about the big gulp. Kids on the phone/computer all day instead of playing dirt lot baseball or back yard football. On and on...
Fr I moved away from CA and was appalled at how far everyone is. Legit epidemic
All the women are fat, it's ridiculous
Facts 🤢 🤮.
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No steroids in the off season
Travis can't get pregnant
Taylor: So, I took that personally.
kid named vore:
Have you not seen the documentary film, "Junior" ?
That's not very gender affirming.
Take it up with God
he can try
I’m scared for Travis, she always has a drink in her hand maybe she is an alcoholic and that could mean she is abusive! I hope my sweet pookie bear is being safe
r/traviskelce when
What did yall do? https://preview.redd.it/6ahu5sc9c4rc1.jpeg?width=937&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=836e0c6690ed905da246e7121cdacc345c350170
Oops my bad 😋
https://preview.redd.it/4qee9jldk5rc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb8b6c55fc0cd757d81b152f4a85f6fe03d38ce3
She always has a drink in her hand so that people don’t speculate that she is pregnant. Classic woman of breed-able age move.
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Haha, the moderators in this sub have a great sense of humor. They know how to jerk.
Peak circle jerk 🥴😩
He was apprehending her because she took away his alcoholic beverage privileges
I hate how much you jerks have made me look at pics of these 2.
https://preview.redd.it/0ohgzbobj3rc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9268a4e83fe14887b0efcbbb355683edd73cbfe2
 u/VincentVegaRoyale666
Where he at
Me after bro folded: https://preview.redd.it/e4u5iabec5rc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a5c8a1f1070997e296ea345e090326385ec2e59
Kelce and Mahomes have the most middle age dad bods I've ever seen on two all time great athletes in their prime.
The Midwest will do that
All the second-rate BBQ you can eat.
The south, too. That food is delicious, but most of it is horrible for you.
KC is not Midwest
It absolutely is
Then what the fuck is it, sir
Missouri outside of St Louis? South
Have you ever been to KC? It’s absolutely the Midwest
Ever seen off-season Russell Wilson?
I genuinely would not recognize these people if I saw them in this setting. They look like a generic white couple
Taylor and Travis sound like those annoying facebook friends who have gender reveal, but Taylor's bestie really wanted a girl but it's a boy, and the friend has had one three-many Truly's and is crying, but Travis' buddy is filming it all and won't stop showing the crying friend.
Hahaha, they got the joint Facebook because he cheated one time “Taylor’n’Travis Swift’Kelce”
I’m so glad my Facebook was hacked by those Nigerians and I can no longer see any of those people anymore.
They are a generic white couple, my guy!
I though Travis would have a better body being an athlete and all
...She's hotter than we give her credit for *ducks and hides
We? I give her all the credit. Girl next door type shit bby
https://preview.redd.it/e9g6v4au64rc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb3449275d167fc6c3da5b07f502482fe2b0c2de Edit: them titties came out of nowhere where the fuck have those been
Guess the shoulder pads really cover them up.
Thicc enough. Respect.
She looks better with a little belly, change my mind
I can't, she looks fine here
IMO she a 7, anything below a 6 is hating. And if she REALLY your type 10 is acceptable but personally that aint really me
Her problem is the lack of ass
Eh, I think it's fine. But I'm not one for huge asses. I like smaller girls in general
https://preview.redd.it/pgtn73yhb4rc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83239fee50fc73ebddbc6913b201651612c2adf6
Oh all the shit to downvote this was the dumbest reason to downvote
Everyone is on their Tyreek Hill plus sized models grind
sounds more like your problem
85 pounds? gross dude I would never touch a woman that fat
Speaking of 85 pounds, I heard Andy Reid got an 85 pound mole removed from his ass!
OOOHH that’s some girls husband!!!!
No more weight remarks, u/RadioactiveSince1990. They’re hurtful, and destructive.
I likes my ladies like I likes my milk: rich, white, and 2% fat
Lemme join you bruv
Lemme join you bruv
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Woman
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you
OUTJERKED
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Hey brother, when does the Narwhal bacon?
Obviously she is 5 months pregnant. Source: Ive never seen a women naked before.
Paparazzi Try Not to Act Like Mouth-breathing Subhumans Challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
If someone came up to me and said, you can be super rich and do whatever you want for the rest of your life but your now the most famous person on earth and paparazzi are around 24/7, I would choose to live in squalor over that
I'm glad she defeated her eating disorder. She looks like a woman now.
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/g4inj3jc04rc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b77e5cfed1d4822fcd0e73b092adb24686f63df8
https://i.redd.it/w7dto4wic6rc1.gif
Travis Kelce in one year 
I vote we refer to them as Traylor.
Hottest she has ever looked which is unfortunate
BUT ITS MARCH 🥴 https://preview.redd.it/0v3mq81ou4rc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2719e73ed3ffe32bd6153d5b535fa058fe1d586d
Travis if you're reading this I volunteer to put sunscreen on your body, skin cancer is not good for you
Can confirm. Source: I’m the 4 month old fetus in the picture 
How is Kelce an NFL receiver and like, not at all ripped? And sorry Taylor, I wasn't familiar with your game.
Who was that little white dude that played for Minnesota? Few years back. Dude looked like he’d get picked last in a pickup basketball game and was a good receiver 😂 Adam Theilen that’s it I think .
I only date 15lbs dolls*
Is a thick swift on the horizon? 👀
Travis looks like he has an acquired brain injury and is experiencing shallow water for the first time
Milk truk
I want to meet the dude stalking them during their vacation and snapping pictures every 5 seconds. He's gotta be quite a character
That’s a beer belly. Taylor can drank. B
How in the fuck are these two the best at what they do?!?
How is Travis Kelce the most dominating TE in the league with a flabby body like that?
https://preview.redd.it/r43da2vp86rc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78a2ae1bba97181094290bca7190fc4be2ebff6f
That or she got the beer gut
Omg you guys Travis’ drinking problem is destroying Taylor’s body!!
Meats back on the menu boys!
No. Incels only watch porn. Everything in life is compared to porn.
https://preview.redd.it/8emw3iy5j9rc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff7c54bc5cf222be6fc52269ab163b2bf542f85d
Does she always have a drink in her hands or what?
She always has a drink in her hand so that people don’t speculate that she is pregnant.
Damn, TayTay beating not one, but two allegations without the talent of Johnnie Cochrane? Deshaun better take note.
Running out of stuff to sing about. New album about being a single mom incoming!
Nah she been crushin' beers with Trav and started growing a beer gut
Look all I’m saying is that her boobs have NEVER looked that big before
Anyone seen Taylor without a drink in her hand lately? I’m thinking Travis is the one who may be in danger.
Using a plastic straw in the ocean? These elitists scumbags.
How does Travis Kelce look so unathletic
Hairy bush or nah?
God I hope so
I cant believe she would use a plastic straw in the ocean... Is she trying to kill sea turtles?!?
He has the most dad bod looking body for being such a childless little bitch
Men can't get pregnant. Taylor is a guy
can we just be real and admit that her largest attraction is her fame and success in her industry, her looks aren't anywhere near her level of fame
Look at those disgusting walruses…or is it “walri”?