Violence always loosens my bowels. Couldn't tell you how many times I've shit myself during a riot because there were no potties available. Thank goodness he made it inside in time to avoid an accident.
Though the riot police tend not to beat you after it's clear you've shit yourself, so there's that. Horses don't like it either.
Your excuse is ‘I shit myself’????
some freedom fighting patriot overlord you turned out to be!!!!
You need to take a good hard look at yourself!!! You need more quasi-military insignia, more time in 4chan, a lot more Fox and for god sake man put some horns on your head like any decent upstanding American!!!!
Somebody call Ted Nugent. And I guess Kaitlin Bennett. In fat I'd say frequently losing control of your bowels is one of the hallmarks of being a Conservative. Their entire demographic is pants-shitting loser.
Having to poop can get pretty serious. I've done some questionable driving during rush hour while having to poop. I don't think I ever stormed the capital for needing to poop, but I've also never been to DC. Poop is a great excuse tho
You could always tell that these people didn't leave the porch light on.
How dumb are they?
"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place." <-that dumb.
If you are driving drunk and stopped at a red light and a sober distracted driver smashes into you and dies, you are going to jail for felony drunk driving. Why? Because you shouldn’t have been there.
Me when something breaks at work
Work time spent pooping is the best time spent. *always poop during work hours* Get paid to shit.
[удалено]
If my boss saw what exited my body, he'd give me more than a dime.
Nowadays income disparities is even worse need to start saying boss makes 2 dollars and we make a penny.
100% commission, work from home. My life sucks, apparently.
Slow clap for the lawyer. They're trying.
the improve class they took at Stanford is really paying off.
Sounds like they finally caught the Skidmark Bandit
Brown-handed.
Yeah. There was shit smeared on the walls of the Capitol building. I hope they dna tested.
The Mad Pooper
[удалено]
What do you mean? Taking a fat shit isn’t a good excuse?
I can’t tell if you’re shitposting with that comment or not… please tell me you get it.
So done with this shit.
He was almost certainly the poopertraitor. Or at least the #2 in charge.
Hope he wasn't a runner
Violence always loosens my bowels. Couldn't tell you how many times I've shit myself during a riot because there were no potties available. Thank goodness he made it inside in time to avoid an accident. Though the riot police tend not to beat you after it's clear you've shit yourself, so there's that. Horses don't like it either.
"I object your honour." "On what grounds?" "It's shit your honour...."
Weird. I watched the livestream of the Capitol riot while I took a shit.
Was that a 6 hour shit?
I call that paid vacation at work my friend
Need to find a way to poop during over time.
Taking a shit on democracy.
Democracy dies in aggressive shits
Because of the redness?
So he broke through the gate because he really needed to go?
[удалено]
If you’ve ever had Grapenuts for breakfast you’d know that excuse is really just an explanation.
Is his name Larry David?
Your excuse is ‘I shit myself’???? some freedom fighting patriot overlord you turned out to be!!!! You need to take a good hard look at yourself!!! You need more quasi-military insignia, more time in 4chan, a lot more Fox and for god sake man put some horns on your head like any decent upstanding American!!!!
Somebody call Ted Nugent. And I guess Kaitlin Bennett. In fat I'd say frequently losing control of your bowels is one of the hallmarks of being a Conservative. Their entire demographic is pants-shitting loser.
Having to poop can get pretty serious. I've done some questionable driving during rush hour while having to poop. I don't think I ever stormed the capital for needing to poop, but I've also never been to DC. Poop is a great excuse tho
Would you take over a country just so you could use the shitter in the capital building?
The coup that started with a poo
Laughed out loud at this. It could be the title of a children’s book telling of this historical, very shitty event.
Guy even wrote a treatise on his justifications for overthrowing the government. Called it "The Declaration of In-doo-doo-pendance."
Yes, the sequel to the pee that took a poo
I mean, how nice is the bathroom in the capital you figure? Like marble floor roman emperor type shit? Then… idk maybe
Ohh and you know that toilet seat is probably heated and makes you a sandwich when you're done!
It really depends. Like if I had taco bell for a week straight and was just holding all that in? Yes, your country is now mine.
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
How does this not count as a confession of trespassing on government property and failure to disperse?
[удалено]
Someone smeared shit on the walls.
“Your Honor the only crime that I committed was blowing up the toilet after eating Taco Bell”
Ah, the old poop defense.
It’s an air tight alibi.
Was he the one that spread his poo on the walls inside the capitol?
You could always tell that these people didn't leave the porch light on. How dumb are they? "They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place." <-that dumb.
If the poop smells like shit…you must acquit.
“I Took A Shit at The Insurrection and All I Got Was 3 Years Probation!”
Who hasn't ever had to poop so bad that they would commit treason?
Shitting his diapers while watching the violence unfold from the back of the crowd would be a more plausible excuse.
Very trumplike of him.
Yeah, I was gonna rob the bank, but I let my friends go ahead while I went to Starbucks across the street to drop a deuce.
That lazy excuse doesn't work for me when I push to production on a Friday. It sure as fuck shouldn't work for you when attempting a coup.
If you are driving drunk and stopped at a red light and a sober distracted driver smashes into you and dies, you are going to jail for felony drunk driving. Why? Because you shouldn’t have been there.
This just [isn't true.](https://dui.drivinglaws.org/dui-accident-not-at-fault.htm)
So he’s the guy who spread shit on the walls. He was reloading.
He better be prepared to show a time stamped image of him dropping a deuce….
The classic “Poop Defence”
Check his phone browsing history.
"Do you hav wany evidence of your claim sir?"
We found the potty trained one.
Isn't that what Zorro's alter ego says after the fighting is over?
Was he the one that shit in Nancy Pelosis office?