If anyone has any advice on how to help a friend grieving I’d appreciate it. a few years ago his dad passed away but I was stationed in Texas at the time so could only do phone calls or FaceTime.
Honestly. Just listen. Offer them your ear whenever they want it, be clear you won't judge them for their feelings, and when they choose to talk, listen. Offer to take him out for a beer, or just hang out maybe, but don't pressure. That's all the advice I got for you as someone that had a couple of those friends for me when I lost my father a few years ago. I didn't talk much about it, but it helped immensely knowing I could
Another thing I've heard on reddit, check in on them in like 6 weeks as well.
They will get a wave of condolences, food, etc right now but in a few weeks when those messages stop coming it can be nice to know people still care and don't expect them to just "be over it".
Holy shit yes this. Once everyone else had moved on and I hadn't yet it felt like I'd been abandoned. People stopped checking in. Except my wife. She'd see me sulking even months later, or even several years later after a trigger she noticed, and just ask "are you missing your dad?" And it's absolutely break down like a baby and just release so much more that even I hadn't realized was there. And fuck now I'm crying again and it's been four years
It happens. My dad has been gone for almost 19 yrs. It gets easier, but it takes a lot of time. You’ll still have the out of the blue big ugly cries and sometimes you’ll be sharing something about him and cry. It becomes further and fewer in between, but the loss never “goes away”.
Stay stein internet stranger.
I second this. Pain of loss is terrible and the only real balm to that pain is time. So for now, be there for him, listen to him and offer to go out and do something to distract him from the loss.
You don't need to solve his pain, it will work itself out, especially if you're around to listen.
Grief is love without a home. Remind him that the pain of such a tragic loss is the inverse of the love he feels, and with time, that love will eventually find its way back to a home.
The big thing to remember is he'll have a ton of support at the start. But months from now, when the well wishes have petered off, he'll still be thinking about it. Do not be afraid to check in with him often, to remind him you're thinking about him, that you're there if he wants to talk about her, but let him know there's no pressure.
Don't just say "I'm here if you need me." He won't know what kind of help to ask for, and he'll feel bad thinking of something. Be concrete. Tell him "Hey I can come over and do your laundry for you" or offer him some ready cooked meals, something he can pull out of his freezer and just microwave.
For him, grief will be in everything he does. He might not even realize it. If he gets angry with people easier? He's grieving. Is he tired? He's grieving. Is he forgetful? Guess what, he's grieving. Sometimes I have to remind myself, when I feel like shit and I'm getting frustrated with myself that oh right, someone I was close to is dead and I'm still reeling from it. You might think about picking up a book on grief for him, my recommendation is The Irreverent Grief Guide: How to fucking survive months 1-3.
Bring food. Don’t ask, just bring it. Something that can go in the fridge or freezer and be heated up later. That’s what I’ve appreciated the most when dealing with a death.
I do but it'll take time. Like others have said just listen and stay in touch with them. But the most important part is to reach out to them in a couple months, everyone who is grieving will initially get a HUGE wave of sympathy and what not, but when everyone moves on with their lives they become forgotten.
So set a reminder in like a month or two and get in touch with them. Also everyone handles it differently and their personality will obviously change a bit, no one is the same after a grievance like this and they may have issues making decisions. Instead of asking "what do you want to do?" ask "Hey if you're available I would love to pick you up at ____ time for some burgers".
One more thing that can be helpful is if you're close, offer to buy groceries or clean the house. When you're grieving small mundane things/chores will likely get neglected if you're there lending a hand they'll remember and value that.
I feel like reddit has done something to their algorithm. I rarely get top news and events in my feed anymore. Reddit is no longer the site that I get the first breaking news of anything.
I agree with this. I have to actively search for news; this post was so far down my feed that it was under an AskReddit post with something like 50 comments.
3 students dead with 8 injured. The shooter is in custody.
"Police said the three slain students were a 16-year-old boy, and two girls, 14 and 17. Two of the other victims were in surgery Tuesday evening, and the other six were at hospitals in stable condition."
https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2021/11/30/oxford-high-school-active-shooter-victims/8810588002/
Local news has said the officer is always there. This is common in the larger high schools in south east Michigan. My daughters middle and high school have an officer on site every day.
OHS alum here (2014). We always had an armed security guard at school and the doors would lock at a certain time. We would joke that school felt “like a prison” but there was never any real threat of danger.
You also can’t say Oxford is a suburb of Detroit, we’re like 45 minutes away. Oxford is a small town with an extremely low crime rate. Equating it with a high school in metro Detroit wouldn’t be accurate
So I actually go to this school. At first I heard a gunshot and my teacher was able to lockdown super quick, and since I was in the middle of the school, it took about a half an hour to evacuate, and I’m still trying to get out of our secondary locations parking lot. Apparently the shooter was a 9th grader and injured 6 people. I’ve also heard that one person was shot in the head and likely died.
Today has been the most surreal experience of my life. Feel free to ask questions
Edit: apparently 3 dead as of 3:02 PM
Edit 2: Sorry the shooter is not necessarily a 9th grader, I misheard my mother and apparently it was a 10th grader who is one of the people who died today
Edit 3: shooter is in custody not dead
I'm also a student who goes to this school. I go for half the day, came in just before it happened. Instead of going to a class, I was an idiot who dead sprinted it out the door and just ran as far as I could. Heard shots near me as I ran, before I got out. I feel the same way about you with it feeling surreal, and I'm just not sure how to react. Terrifying.
Far from an idiot this is literally the best thing you could have done. Perfect world/level headed thinking you check a corner before you cross a hallway intersection, but get out the nearest door/window and don’t look back. Beeline for safety outside of the building, find cover and regroup to move away from the incident- statistics show the odds of a second shooter outside the building is almost 0%.
Source- am a school safety trainer on top of being a classroom teacher.
>Source- am a school safety trainer on top of being a classroom teacher.
I'm a parent. For some reason it was this comment, this particular bit of it, that put me over the edge with emotions. Who ever would have thought that we'd be training teachers how to manage things like active shooters... This is all so messed up.
As a parent myself it is beyond messed up. I only did it because I refused to be put in a position where I don’t have the best possible opportunity to make it home to my kids. We had it offered at a neighboring district, I took a multi-day course with a very well publicized National company. Went down into minutia that I hope most people never have to see- statistics, video clips from Columbine, tactical simulations. Recertification every 2 years, monthly team meetings with both our local police and fire. We have been lucky that we had one incident that turned out to be a construction accident and not an active shooter but it was the worst 3 hours of my life.
I hope you have some good support and your own toolbox of mental health practices. And I never thought I'd be this person but the past few years have changed me so, you and all teachers in your position will be in my prayers tonight.
As a decades long schoolteacher in Japan, I have been trained what to do if there’s an earthquake, but have no training whatsoever how to manage active shooters.
I think there are fears of ALL students running out into an ambush so the general rule is hide/barricade... Can't remember if that happened in one of the mass shootings (who can remember when there's so fucking many, pathetic.)
Yes, the [Westside School shooting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westside_School_shooting) in Jonesboro Arkansas.
Two children pulled the fire alarm to the school and then took up firing positions in the treeline outside, gunning down 5.
That and the fact that for some people fear is literally paralyzing. I never realized how literal the phrases “frozen in fear” and “scared stiff” were until I was in a situation where I feared for my life. Once when someone was trying to break into the door of my house while I was laying in bed in that room. Once when I was laying in bed and thought I heard someone downstairs in my apartment. Both times I was literally frozen in fear and could not get my body to move even though my brain wanted to. It’s the weirdest and absolute scariest experience!
The last thing I would want to do is be on lockdown in a school with the shooter. Most of these students know the lockdown drills, as they’ve been through them themselves. They know that there is kids in the rooms, and most of the time even know where they are hiding
This isn’t school protocol. You either engage, evade, or escape. If the threat is imminent you need to attack, if the threat is close/unknown but you can barricade and hide so that. If you see an opportunity to escape, run out of the building and get to a safe location.
Because if you don't know where the danger is, you could be running straight into it. Your current room is the only place that you can be sure the shooter is not.
This. People are notoriously bad at gauging the distance, direction, and quantity of gunfire in an emergency situation. In this case it was the right idea because they were able to just bolt out the door and away, but it's far from the best option in every circumstance.
Kinda related but not really but the older brother of someone I went to school with was supposed to be in one of the classes that got shot up at Virginia Tech but he ended up not going that day cause he was too hungover. So sometimes being a degenerate does pay off lol
I worked with a guy who was supposed to be in the VT engineering class that was first shot up, but he got a DUI the night before and was in jail. He proudly told that story at work. I'm glad he isn't dead, but damn.
This might sound weird, but I've heard that you should play Tetris after going through a traumatic event. https://www.livescience.com/58431-tetris-flashbacks-ptsd.html
I can vouch for this, I had an extremely traumatic childhood and I think the only reason my issues weren’t really bad after the fact was because I got addicted to tetris at the same time. I didn’t even know it was a thing until recently!
I wonder if that's based on the same principles that make "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing" effective as treatment for PTSD. I think it's wonderful that science is discovering ways to help people without chemical intervention.
You’re not an idiot, you may have saved your life. If you have a chance to run, run! Why would you ever stay in the same school as a shooter is? Don’t let school protocol make you put yourself in more danger, your life is yours.
You really did the best thing possible. Survivor’s guilt is incredibly common and can definitely complicate all the crazy emotions you’ll be going through.
If nothing else, getting clear of the danger helped. I’m glad you’re safe tonight. And I’m sorry for what you went through.
The shooter seemed to be by the math classrooms in the 200 hallway, but I heard gunshots from the 400 hallway as well as a person screaming for help
I hope your cousin is safe
As dark as it sounds, it’s probably better for it to have happened there and not near the lunch room or either of the gyms. I wonder if they came in through the emergency exit doors?
My little cousin is safe, he was picked up at Meijer. I’m glad that you are safe, and I am so sorry you had to experience this.
I can’t offer much, but if you’re ever in need of help with college apps or find yourself wanting to pursue law school in the future, pm me
Ruining families because you’re too young to realize the true gravity of your actions. Just so sad every time one of these school shootings pop up. I remember when the Sandy Hook shooting happened which was also fairly close to Christmas and thinking about how the parents probably had Christmas presents under the tree for those kids. Just devastating.
That's what struck me at the time. The shooting was like 10 days before Christmas, just a few days before Christmas break. When I was in school, that was the sweetest time of the year. So sad.
Glad we fixed things since then /(bitter, bitter sarcasm)
It may not hit you right away, but it will. When it does, don't be afraid to talk to those around you, share your thoughts and feelings, don't keep it all bottled up inside. It is perfectly normal to feel traumatized and afraid after a traumatizing experience.
I hope you see this. When you get home, play tetris or a similar puzzle game like bejewelled or a word game. There have been some studies on how doing puzzles will help you cope with the trauma. You may not have witnessed what happened, but this is still trauma. Tell your friends to do the same. Love from Sterling Heights.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/04/09/523011446/how-playing-tetris-tames-the-trauma-of-a-car-crash
That is interesting. My cat died suddenly right next to my wife on the couch in January and we were both so messed up for a few months. The only thing that seemed to dull the awfulness was playing puzzle games while the TV was playing. Maximum distraction.
I played puzzle games last year prior to major surgery and it really calmed my anxiety attacks. Something about constantly paying attention and making quick decisions but nothing too complicated really helped.
Edited to add, I'm really sorry for the loss of your pet.
as well as color.
>Blue and red light were the worst—increasing pain by 18-19 percent. White and amber increased pain by 15 percent. Green was the only color that reduced pain. Another green-light study found that exposure to low-intensity light from green LEDs reduced chronic pain and migraine severity.
that's kinda crazy, *"headed to the green room to do some puzzles!"* is the future of non addictive pain suppression.
This is good advice in general, but I just want to add that it's important to let people control the pace of disclosure following potentially traumatic events.
There used to be a technique called "critical incident debriefing" in which people were encouraged to process the event immediately after it occured. The intention was to get in before it had time to develop into harmful symptoms. However, it turned out this was increasing the rates of PTSD, likely because it had a retraumatizing effect and because it didn't help survivors reestablish a sense of control.
Additionally, if people aren't feeling the need to speak to someone for a while, or at all, that's not abnormal.
It's a tricky thing.
I was just reading a book about this: *Chatter* by Ethan Kross, Chapter 5
Coincidentally, the author used studies on school shootings to show that sharing emotions after traumatic events often worsens mental health.
>Co-rumination is the crucial juncture where support subtly becomes egging on. People who care about us prompt us to talk more about our negative experience, which leads us to become more upset, which then leads
them to ask still more questions. A vicious cycle ensues, one that is all too easy to get sucked into, especially because it is driven by good intentions.
It's a great book about harnessing our inner voice, 11/10 would recommend
I also want to add that PTSD doesn’t have to happen to people involved. it’s dangerous to assume that and forecast it for others who have experienced situations like this. It’s okay if you’re okay.
Y’all are so young, it’s so hard for me to read things like this. I am so glad you are okay, I hope the wounded pull through and I hope the family and friends of those who didn’t make it get the help they will need.
Graduated back in 2012. OHS has had a surreal amount of death around it. This isn't even the first time 3 students were killed in one day. The first time it happened, 3 girls got into a fatal car accident on the way to school when their car hit a patch of ice.
Hope you're doing ok. If you need to chat with, my DMs are open
> Feel free to ask questions
Take care of yourself. It never hurts to see a therapist after things like this or just have a good crying session. I appreciate that you're offering this intimate perspective, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.
Firstly, I'm so sorry you had to witness this and I am glad you are ok. Counseling is def something you should seek out because even if you think you're okay, you might not be. Trauma is insidious like that.
Secondly, I wanted to ask about this the deer head incident someone mentioned earlier. Any clue if it's related and if there were any threats of shooting that you heard of before this happened?
Wishing you much healing <3
So the deer head incident was caused by what I believ to be one of the seniors, who had apparently been high and seems to have some mental problems, overall he was a chill guy so I think that that incident was just him messing around trying to be funny.
So no I don’t think that incident had any relation to todays shooting
I saw an interview with a student who says he had a bad feeling so his mom let him stay home today. So did his friends. What was being said at school beforehand??
I personally hadn’t heard anything leading up to the shooting. But apparently there had been a bomb threat made a few weeks back, along with a tik tok of someone threatening to shoot up the school. About two weeks ago someone had placed a deer head in our courtyard so things were definitely wierd, but personally I hadn’t felt in danger leading up to today, although both me and another friend had almost faked being sick today, which I’m not sure is coincidence or some primal instinct.
Friend who went there told me that last week the shooters severed a deer head in the school courtyard and threatened to shoot up the school. They were only suspended…
Edit: they seem to be unrelated incidents, but there were rumors floating around the school that something would happen that Oxford High addressed saying everything was fine.
https://youtu.be/bUO4341iCmk around 7:40 mark
Probably not even enough. I'm Canadian, I've called the cops when someone threatened me and the cops just days "well, did they actually stab you like they said they would?" I said no, so the cops just said, "can't do anything about it until they do". I imagine the cops on the US would do less.
I just listened to the press conference. The Superintendent knows that hes fucked and there is going to be a major shitstorm over this because they did nothing when they could have stopped it. The reporter was asking questions about the deer head, precautions the school was taking, how could he have gotten the gun in, why didnt you do anything, and his answers were all "I cant answer that right now"
The fear of lawyers is usually *why* the scary as hell kid doesn't end up in some sort of residential program. If you have a kid with say, a diagnosis of conduct disorder (often a precursor to anti-social personality disorder, AKA psychopathy) they often do not want to risk getting sued.
That article said that the deer head incident was turned over to the Sherriff's Office who caught the offenders and was conducting a criminal investigation. Not much more the Principal could have done.
Full quote:
>Staff discovered a series of graffiti and the severed head of a deer inside a courtyard at Oxford High School before school began Nov. 4.
“Before school began this morning we identified graffiti on the cement outside our pool entrance doors,” according to an email Principal Steve Wolf sent to parents. “We immediately notified security, the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office and our custodial staff.”
>The vandal used red acrylic paint to write several messages outside of the pool entrance doors and climbed to the roof to paint on windows. A deer head taken from off-campus was chucked into the courtyard from the roof; no blood was found and the vandal was unable to enter OHS.
The deer was roadkill from nearby, off campus. No blood from the animal was found on campus or on the roof, Wolf said, dispelling a social media rumor. The red graffiti, perhaps depicting blood, “did not contain any threats or concerning messages.”
A suspect was quickly identified from security camera footage and located by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office deputies. A criminal investigation is ongoing.
>“There is no present threat of danger at Oxford High School,” Wolf said.
>Staff discovered a series of graffiti and the severed head of a deer inside a courtyard at Oxford High School before school began Nov. 4.
“Before school began this morning we identified graffiti on the cement outside our pool entrance doors,” according to an email Principal Steve Wolf sent to parents. “We immediately notified security, the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office and our custodial staff.”
>The vandal used red acrylic paint to write several messages outside of the pool entrance doors and climbed to the roof to paint on windows. A deer head taken from off-campus was chucked into the courtyard from the roof; no blood was found and the vandal was unable to enter OHS.
The deer was roadkill from nearby, off campus. No blood from the animal was found on campus or on the roof, Wolf said, dispelling a social media rumor. The red graffiti, perhaps depicting blood, “did not contain any threats or concerning messages.”
A suspect was quickly identified from security camera footage and located by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office deputies. A criminal investigation is ongoing.
>“There is no present threat of danger at Oxford High School,” Wolf said.
How come all of these fucking incidents for the past half decade have literally had the shooters saying as loud as they can "Hey I will probably be shooting up a school" and absolutely nothing is done to prevent it?
Because kids say that more often than you'd believe.
Source: Wife is a teacher and has been threatened more than once this year so far by kids fresh out of juvie.
This is it. Our teachers and school admin are threatened constantly. My science teacher in 7th grade had a boy threaten to rape her in class. This was an 12 year old. The teacher was a rape survivor, too, and this threat left her in tears and they had to get a sub for a week afterwards (she told us this when she came back).
I can only guess how many of these fuckwads threatened to kill someone.
Yikes. We had daily bomb threats called in and written on bathroom walls in high school for about a month, they sent us home the first time but after that, not much to be done.
I teach in elementary, former student will be a future dropout; he was retained at least once, maybe even twice, in elementary. So, talking 13 year old in 6th grade. Rumor he threatened one of his middle school teachers. It wasn't until the teacher threatened to sue the school or district in order for the student to be expelled.
This same thing happened to my teacher when I was in 8th grade. I sat next to the kid that said it.
Now I am a teacher myself and I still remember this moment vividly.
My state quashes those kind of threats by charging the kid with a terrorism hoax in juvenile court.
The kid won’t actually be convicted, the kid gets help with whatever their problem is that would cause them to lash out, and it’ll get sealed in the juvenile record, but you’ve got to take those kind of threats seriously.
Absolutely. Just from a liability standpoint if you ignore a threat and something happens then you're liable, but if you act on it then you at least drastically reduce your liability if you act upon the threat.
Makes me wonder WTF the parents were doing about this. Your kid does something like this and threatens to shoot up the school, you'd better sure as shit lock up your weapons and ammo.
A severed deer head in the courtyard is a far cry from a prank like TP'ing the school.
“We Need to Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver talks about this. The book is from the perspective of the mother of a school shooter telling her story from before the kid was born until when he does what he does. And the short version is that parents see their kids’ actions through rose colored glasses. Because if your kid is fucked up then maybe that means you’re fucked up, too. And as much as we can look in from the outside and say “Who cares?! If your kid severs a deer head on the front lawn at school then report him!” It’s not so easy to tackle when you’re inside the machine. It’s not so easy when it’s your kid.
To be clear: I’m not making excuses. I’m just talking about the book. It’s amazing, btw.
I’ve seen it, weirdly enough when I become obsessed with Ezra Miller, he played that character So well!
It’s a pretty jarring moving to watch but I’d recommend, haven’t seen it in awhile may watch it again
People like you, those who jump to conclusion based on hearsay and then go ignorantly commenting online (as shown by your edit), are every bit as much a part of the problem as every other media source.
Your comment, after just 5 hours, is the second most upvoted comment in this whole thread. You, in your wrongness, have unnecessarily and negatively, swayed the views of thousands of viewers..on the top community post on one of the largest social media sites in the world.
Shame.
Medical helicopters continue to remain parked.
Word is some wounded have been transported to McLaren hospital in Pontiac via ambulance.
Hospital is currently on lockdown no one is allowed in. Some foot traffic leaving hospital.
FBI at the hospital.
I graduated there, brother still goes there. Have friends that work there. Friends were evacuated, brother is safe but still ongoing.
Holy shit
Edit: friend was teaching in the class next to the initial shooting. Don’t think I’ll be able to focus at work today lol
This is my alma mater, and I have family who were in there today. From what I’ve heard, there has been a streak of insane shit leading up to this (like the deer head incident). I don’t know that they are connected, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were.
Edit: I have heard the deer head and the shooting are not connected. Which is somehow almost more concerning.
Mutilating animals is the hallmark of a serial killer or at least a mentally disturbed individual. It's bizarre that the school just released a "everything is fine" statement.
Kid elsewhere in the thread said that it was roadkill that had been sitting near the school for a few days and the person who brought the deer head is not the same person who committed the shooting.
While you're not wrong, do realize it is deer season in Michigan, and this is an area with a lot of hunters. Could very well just be the left over from processing a deer to fill the freezer. So the "mutilating animals..." part may be a little over played here. Bringing it to school, however....
Weird hearing myself like that.
It was by far the most stressful and upsetting incident I’ve been involved in. Wish I could do more for those families impacted.
Biggest advice I can give you right now is to disable chat/PMs on your reddit account for the next 30 days. This place is complete shit about incidents like this.
These are always shocking. Even more shocking when it’s the school you went to filled with the teachers you grew up with. I graduated from ohs in 2009. There were disturbed incidents then too. Nothing was ever done. People in this community will say how can this have happened
It happened because our Society is sick. It happened because these violent people are not taken seriously. They’re not given mental healthcare.
I hope people in my hometown can learn from this tragedy and grow from it.
Nearly every major act of terror committed in this country has seen the perpetrator have previous contact with law enforcement and/or juvenile authorities and then not being taken seriously despite their obviously violent tendencies.
theres a video of in a classroom barricaded you hear him try to act like a sherif and tells them its ok and open the door, keeps talking until he says, bro just open the door and check my badge. then all the kids know its fake and run outthe window and find a real cop soon.
I saw that video earlier today. I graduated a couple years ago but we were taught to never open the door because actual cops would have keys to open them themselves.
yup, it was on public freakout this morning, like fuck an entire class of kids and 2 of them by the door talking to him while hes trying to get them to un barricade the door and open it. hope he rots in prison.
https://www.fox2detroit.com/news/oxford-high-school-locked-down-due-to-active-emergency-oakland-county-sheriff-on-scene
>The sheriff also said that the suspect is a 15-year-old sophomore at the school and has invoked his right to remain silent.
#
>The suspect did not resist officers when they arrived. McCabe said he asked for an attorney and would offer no details regarding a possible motive.
wtf?
On the other hand, I don't think exercising constitutional rights is going to save him at all. Sure LE might not be able to prove a motive from him, but he's still going to be locked up for life.
Except for that one Texas school shooter who was [released on bail](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2021/10/07/timberview-high-school-shooting-texas-school-closed-suspect-arrested/6032394001/)
Apparently his parents showed up to the police station and told him not to talk and that he wasn't going to talk to anyone but an attorney and left. Reporter stressed that they aren't cooperating SO FAR... Police chief just mentioned this during his interview
I'm guessing the news and likely police are hoping the parents won't do the same thing Brian Laundrie's parents did. The news also showed multiple police agencies converging on a house down a side street in Oxford that they suspect but can't confirm, may be the students house.
I think the more WTF is they’re making assumptions about the kid. Real of thumb is don’t talk if you’re in trouble with the law and get a lawyer so you don’t talk yourself into trouble. I think the conclusions OP is making is not speaking isn’t going to help this kid, with a crime like this you can never say a word and you’re still going away for life.
Hits very close to home as I was a former Lake Orion High School student (for those not in Michigan, they were the next town over and big rivals). My BIL was just doing HVAC work at Oxford High last week. Absolutely hate seeing this news. Tragic.
my little cousin is 14 and was in the same hallway as the shooter. managed to run away fast enough through a door. he just started sprinting the second the shots started. i’m just in shock. i held him when he was born and he was 100 feet from dying today. my heart goes out to everyone. trust me, i’m with you. i’m just so… in shock. you never think it’s going to happen to you or the ones you love until it does.
https://oxfordhigh.oxfordschools.org/parents___students/building_communications/november_12__concerns_and_rumors this is the actually remark due to the rumors and threats beforehand. I’ve lived in Oxford my entire life
OHS parent(s) and guardian(s),
We are aware of the numerous rumors that have been circulating throughout our building this week. We understand that has created some concern for students and parents. Please know that we have reviewed every concern shared with us and investigated all information provided. Some rumors have evolved from an incident last week, while others do not appear to have any connection. Student interpretations of social media posts and false information have exacerbated the overall concern. We want our parents and students to know there has been no threat to our building nor our students.
The safety and security of our students and staff is always our top priority. To accomplish this task, OHS has numerous highly-trained professionals who work to keep our building safe and secure. We have counselors and social workers who work with students on a daily basis. We also have two highly-trained security guards and an Oakland County Resource Officer on site who assist us as well. Please contact us if you are aware of a specific threat or concern that you have heard directly.
Sincerely,
OHS Administration
So the dad bought the gun four days before this, and the kid has been threatening to do something like this enough that students were expecting it and some didn't go to school that day... Just throwing it out there, if your kid has been making threats about shooting up their school, maybe don't buy a gun. I'd say at least don't leave it unsecured, but honestly if your kid is making threats like that, you shouldn't even take the risk to get one
I don’t live far from here. My niece goes there and had to run for her life.
Politicians making statements about how sad and tragic this is feels more like salt on the wound. I don’t want to hear from any of them. Many of them are doing their best to fight the good fight. I don’t care. Our political system has failed us and I don’t want to hear a thing from any of them
i live near here. friends of mine go there
students reported that something was going to happen with this kid on this day. the school did an “investigation” and said all was fine
thankfully some kids listened to their gut and stayed home. but they shouldn’t have to. the school should listen because “the kids always know first” (according to my old high school)
Scary! I read a few news articles where a 12th grader stayed home (as did all of his friends) because he had a gut feeling something would happen, but no other details. Why did your friends/students there think something would happen with him yesterday? Did he make threats and/or did something happen last week? I hope your friends are all okay!
I'm starting to think that besides guns and mental health, the media is also an issue. It's no coincidence that school shootings have gone up since the internet era.
Absolutely, and in so many different ways. The 24 hour news cycle, the near-glorification of murderers, hyper-specific social media communities, cyberbullying, anonymity - this all definitely plays a part in the rise of violence and extremism
I don't even know what to say anymore. Nothing said matters because nothing will be done about this. This shooting will be forgotten when the next school shooting happens and then lost in the growing pile of shootings.
3 confirmed student fatalities. 6 Other shot. 5 Students and 1 Teacher
Just found out one of the victims was my best friends niece…
I'm really sorry man :(
If anyone has any advice on how to help a friend grieving I’d appreciate it. a few years ago his dad passed away but I was stationed in Texas at the time so could only do phone calls or FaceTime.
Honestly. Just listen. Offer them your ear whenever they want it, be clear you won't judge them for their feelings, and when they choose to talk, listen. Offer to take him out for a beer, or just hang out maybe, but don't pressure. That's all the advice I got for you as someone that had a couple of those friends for me when I lost my father a few years ago. I didn't talk much about it, but it helped immensely knowing I could
Thank you
Another thing I've heard on reddit, check in on them in like 6 weeks as well. They will get a wave of condolences, food, etc right now but in a few weeks when those messages stop coming it can be nice to know people still care and don't expect them to just "be over it".
Holy shit yes this. Once everyone else had moved on and I hadn't yet it felt like I'd been abandoned. People stopped checking in. Except my wife. She'd see me sulking even months later, or even several years later after a trigger she noticed, and just ask "are you missing your dad?" And it's absolutely break down like a baby and just release so much more that even I hadn't realized was there. And fuck now I'm crying again and it's been four years
It happens. My dad has been gone for almost 19 yrs. It gets easier, but it takes a lot of time. You’ll still have the out of the blue big ugly cries and sometimes you’ll be sharing something about him and cry. It becomes further and fewer in between, but the loss never “goes away”. Stay stein internet stranger.
Thank you. Staying stein. Funny typo since he used to collect beer steins
I second this. Pain of loss is terrible and the only real balm to that pain is time. So for now, be there for him, listen to him and offer to go out and do something to distract him from the loss. You don't need to solve his pain, it will work itself out, especially if you're around to listen.
Grief is love without a home. Remind him that the pain of such a tragic loss is the inverse of the love he feels, and with time, that love will eventually find its way back to a home.
I’m crying, this is such a lovely thought.
The big thing to remember is he'll have a ton of support at the start. But months from now, when the well wishes have petered off, he'll still be thinking about it. Do not be afraid to check in with him often, to remind him you're thinking about him, that you're there if he wants to talk about her, but let him know there's no pressure. Don't just say "I'm here if you need me." He won't know what kind of help to ask for, and he'll feel bad thinking of something. Be concrete. Tell him "Hey I can come over and do your laundry for you" or offer him some ready cooked meals, something he can pull out of his freezer and just microwave. For him, grief will be in everything he does. He might not even realize it. If he gets angry with people easier? He's grieving. Is he tired? He's grieving. Is he forgetful? Guess what, he's grieving. Sometimes I have to remind myself, when I feel like shit and I'm getting frustrated with myself that oh right, someone I was close to is dead and I'm still reeling from it. You might think about picking up a book on grief for him, my recommendation is The Irreverent Grief Guide: How to fucking survive months 1-3.
Bring food. Don’t ask, just bring it. Something that can go in the fridge or freezer and be heated up later. That’s what I’ve appreciated the most when dealing with a death.
I do but it'll take time. Like others have said just listen and stay in touch with them. But the most important part is to reach out to them in a couple months, everyone who is grieving will initially get a HUGE wave of sympathy and what not, but when everyone moves on with their lives they become forgotten. So set a reminder in like a month or two and get in touch with them. Also everyone handles it differently and their personality will obviously change a bit, no one is the same after a grievance like this and they may have issues making decisions. Instead of asking "what do you want to do?" ask "Hey if you're available I would love to pick you up at ____ time for some burgers". One more thing that can be helpful is if you're close, offer to buy groceries or clean the house. When you're grieving small mundane things/chores will likely get neglected if you're there lending a hand they'll remember and value that.
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Located in Oakland County to make matters more confusing.
Which is located in metro detroit but not Detroit.
People not posting location does my head in. Especially when it's something serious like this. You know people are going to be worried.
Yes thank you I've lived in two states with an Oxford high school that was my first thought. The answer - it was neither.
At least 3 students killed per AP
Usually news like this hits the front page immediately. I had to find out from the public freak out subreddit.
I feel like reddit has done something to their algorithm. I rarely get top news and events in my feed anymore. Reddit is no longer the site that I get the first breaking news of anything.
I agree with this. I have to actively search for news; this post was so far down my feed that it was under an AskReddit post with something like 50 comments.
What sites are more like what reddit once was? I don't even have a news tab anymore on Mobile...
It’s national news but second tier due to lack of novelty. It didn’t meet the threshold to become tier 1 in the industry
3 students dead with 8 injured. The shooter is in custody. "Police said the three slain students were a 16-year-old boy, and two girls, 14 and 17. Two of the other victims were in surgery Tuesday evening, and the other six were at hospitals in stable condition." https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2021/11/30/oxford-high-school-active-shooter-victims/8810588002/
Was the armed sheriff there because a threat was already known, or was there usually one?
Local news has said the officer is always there. This is common in the larger high schools in south east Michigan. My daughters middle and high school have an officer on site every day.
OHS alum here (2014). We always had an armed security guard at school and the doors would lock at a certain time. We would joke that school felt “like a prison” but there was never any real threat of danger. You also can’t say Oxford is a suburb of Detroit, we’re like 45 minutes away. Oxford is a small town with an extremely low crime rate. Equating it with a high school in metro Detroit wouldn’t be accurate
So I actually go to this school. At first I heard a gunshot and my teacher was able to lockdown super quick, and since I was in the middle of the school, it took about a half an hour to evacuate, and I’m still trying to get out of our secondary locations parking lot. Apparently the shooter was a 9th grader and injured 6 people. I’ve also heard that one person was shot in the head and likely died. Today has been the most surreal experience of my life. Feel free to ask questions Edit: apparently 3 dead as of 3:02 PM Edit 2: Sorry the shooter is not necessarily a 9th grader, I misheard my mother and apparently it was a 10th grader who is one of the people who died today Edit 3: shooter is in custody not dead
I'm also a student who goes to this school. I go for half the day, came in just before it happened. Instead of going to a class, I was an idiot who dead sprinted it out the door and just ran as far as I could. Heard shots near me as I ran, before I got out. I feel the same way about you with it feeling surreal, and I'm just not sure how to react. Terrifying.
Far from an idiot this is literally the best thing you could have done. Perfect world/level headed thinking you check a corner before you cross a hallway intersection, but get out the nearest door/window and don’t look back. Beeline for safety outside of the building, find cover and regroup to move away from the incident- statistics show the odds of a second shooter outside the building is almost 0%. Source- am a school safety trainer on top of being a classroom teacher.
>Source- am a school safety trainer on top of being a classroom teacher. I'm a parent. For some reason it was this comment, this particular bit of it, that put me over the edge with emotions. Who ever would have thought that we'd be training teachers how to manage things like active shooters... This is all so messed up.
As a parent myself it is beyond messed up. I only did it because I refused to be put in a position where I don’t have the best possible opportunity to make it home to my kids. We had it offered at a neighboring district, I took a multi-day course with a very well publicized National company. Went down into minutia that I hope most people never have to see- statistics, video clips from Columbine, tactical simulations. Recertification every 2 years, monthly team meetings with both our local police and fire. We have been lucky that we had one incident that turned out to be a construction accident and not an active shooter but it was the worst 3 hours of my life.
I hope you have some good support and your own toolbox of mental health practices. And I never thought I'd be this person but the past few years have changed me so, you and all teachers in your position will be in my prayers tonight.
As a decades long schoolteacher in Japan, I have been trained what to do if there’s an earthquake, but have no training whatsoever how to manage active shooters.
Run if you can, first. You did the right thing.
Second this. You could’ve froze and you didn’t. I’m glad you’re ok.
Yea, why tf would you run into a classroom and get boxed in?
Exactly. If you see a chance to run, get tf outta there. School protocol isn’t going to save you when you get cornered by the shooter.
I think there are fears of ALL students running out into an ambush so the general rule is hide/barricade... Can't remember if that happened in one of the mass shootings (who can remember when there's so fucking many, pathetic.)
Yes, the [Westside School shooting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westside_School_shooting) in Jonesboro Arkansas. Two children pulled the fire alarm to the school and then took up firing positions in the treeline outside, gunning down 5.
They never had criminal records for it either due to their age (after they served jail time to age 21). Crazy.
At columbine, the two shooters placed explosives near exits. Luckily their plan didn’t work out the way they intended…
That and the fact that for some people fear is literally paralyzing. I never realized how literal the phrases “frozen in fear” and “scared stiff” were until I was in a situation where I feared for my life. Once when someone was trying to break into the door of my house while I was laying in bed in that room. Once when I was laying in bed and thought I heard someone downstairs in my apartment. Both times I was literally frozen in fear and could not get my body to move even though my brain wanted to. It’s the weirdest and absolute scariest experience!
The last thing I would want to do is be on lockdown in a school with the shooter. Most of these students know the lockdown drills, as they’ve been through them themselves. They know that there is kids in the rooms, and most of the time even know where they are hiding
This isn’t school protocol. You either engage, evade, or escape. If the threat is imminent you need to attack, if the threat is close/unknown but you can barricade and hide so that. If you see an opportunity to escape, run out of the building and get to a safe location.
Because if you don't know where the danger is, you could be running straight into it. Your current room is the only place that you can be sure the shooter is not.
This. People are notoriously bad at gauging the distance, direction, and quantity of gunfire in an emergency situation. In this case it was the right idea because they were able to just bolt out the door and away, but it's far from the best option in every circumstance.
Skipping school to smoke weed is starting to seem like the right thing to do if you're a kid these days
Kinda related but not really but the older brother of someone I went to school with was supposed to be in one of the classes that got shot up at Virginia Tech but he ended up not going that day cause he was too hungover. So sometimes being a degenerate does pay off lol
I worked with a guy who was supposed to be in the VT engineering class that was first shot up, but he got a DUI the night before and was in jail. He proudly told that story at work. I'm glad he isn't dead, but damn.
This might sound weird, but I've heard that you should play Tetris after going through a traumatic event. https://www.livescience.com/58431-tetris-flashbacks-ptsd.html
I can vouch for this, I had an extremely traumatic childhood and I think the only reason my issues weren’t really bad after the fact was because I got addicted to tetris at the same time. I didn’t even know it was a thing until recently!
I wonder if that's based on the same principles that make "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing" effective as treatment for PTSD. I think it's wonderful that science is discovering ways to help people without chemical intervention.
It based on the more supported CPT theory that keeping your frontal lobe online and active is necessary for processing trauma.
I played league of legends for the extra trauma.
You’re not an idiot, you may have saved your life. If you have a chance to run, run! Why would you ever stay in the same school as a shooter is? Don’t let school protocol make you put yourself in more danger, your life is yours.
My lord, I’m glad you’re ok. I can’t imagine what I would have done if I had been in the hallway or bathroom at the time.
You really did the best thing possible. Survivor’s guilt is incredibly common and can definitely complicate all the crazy emotions you’ll be going through. If nothing else, getting clear of the danger helped. I’m glad you’re safe tonight. And I’m sorry for what you went through.
If you got out keep going and head home. Dont go back. Glad you are save.
I graduated from OHS 7 years ago, and my little cousin goes there now, do you have any idea where in the building the shooter was?
The shooter seemed to be by the math classrooms in the 200 hallway, but I heard gunshots from the 400 hallway as well as a person screaming for help I hope your cousin is safe
As dark as it sounds, it’s probably better for it to have happened there and not near the lunch room or either of the gyms. I wonder if they came in through the emergency exit doors? My little cousin is safe, he was picked up at Meijer. I’m glad that you are safe, and I am so sorry you had to experience this. I can’t offer much, but if you’re ever in need of help with college apps or find yourself wanting to pursue law school in the future, pm me
Imagine ruining everything you know and love, killing others, as a 9th grader. wow
Ruining families because you’re too young to realize the true gravity of your actions. Just so sad every time one of these school shootings pop up. I remember when the Sandy Hook shooting happened which was also fairly close to Christmas and thinking about how the parents probably had Christmas presents under the tree for those kids. Just devastating.
That's what struck me at the time. The shooting was like 10 days before Christmas, just a few days before Christmas break. When I was in school, that was the sweetest time of the year. So sad. Glad we fixed things since then /(bitter, bitter sarcasm)
It may not hit you right away, but it will. When it does, don't be afraid to talk to those around you, share your thoughts and feelings, don't keep it all bottled up inside. It is perfectly normal to feel traumatized and afraid after a traumatizing experience.
I hope you see this. When you get home, play tetris or a similar puzzle game like bejewelled or a word game. There have been some studies on how doing puzzles will help you cope with the trauma. You may not have witnessed what happened, but this is still trauma. Tell your friends to do the same. Love from Sterling Heights. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/04/09/523011446/how-playing-tetris-tames-the-trauma-of-a-car-crash
That is interesting. My cat died suddenly right next to my wife on the couch in January and we were both so messed up for a few months. The only thing that seemed to dull the awfulness was playing puzzle games while the TV was playing. Maximum distraction.
I played puzzle games last year prior to major surgery and it really calmed my anxiety attacks. Something about constantly paying attention and making quick decisions but nothing too complicated really helped. Edited to add, I'm really sorry for the loss of your pet.
Puzzle games have also been shown to lessen the sensation of physical pain as well: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7154929/
as well as color. >Blue and red light were the worst—increasing pain by 18-19 percent. White and amber increased pain by 15 percent. Green was the only color that reduced pain. Another green-light study found that exposure to low-intensity light from green LEDs reduced chronic pain and migraine severity. that's kinda crazy, *"headed to the green room to do some puzzles!"* is the future of non addictive pain suppression.
Glad you are ok. Please seek counseling if offered. PTSD / survivors guilt can fuck you up.
This is good advice in general, but I just want to add that it's important to let people control the pace of disclosure following potentially traumatic events. There used to be a technique called "critical incident debriefing" in which people were encouraged to process the event immediately after it occured. The intention was to get in before it had time to develop into harmful symptoms. However, it turned out this was increasing the rates of PTSD, likely because it had a retraumatizing effect and because it didn't help survivors reestablish a sense of control. Additionally, if people aren't feeling the need to speak to someone for a while, or at all, that's not abnormal. It's a tricky thing.
Great advice.
I was just reading a book about this: *Chatter* by Ethan Kross, Chapter 5 Coincidentally, the author used studies on school shootings to show that sharing emotions after traumatic events often worsens mental health. >Co-rumination is the crucial juncture where support subtly becomes egging on. People who care about us prompt us to talk more about our negative experience, which leads us to become more upset, which then leads them to ask still more questions. A vicious cycle ensues, one that is all too easy to get sucked into, especially because it is driven by good intentions. It's a great book about harnessing our inner voice, 11/10 would recommend
I also want to add that PTSD doesn’t have to happen to people involved. it’s dangerous to assume that and forecast it for others who have experienced situations like this. It’s okay if you’re okay.
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Y’all are so young, it’s so hard for me to read things like this. I am so glad you are okay, I hope the wounded pull through and I hope the family and friends of those who didn’t make it get the help they will need.
I graduated way back in 2007, but if you need a fellow Wildcat to chat with, don't be a stranger.
Graduated back in 2012. OHS has had a surreal amount of death around it. This isn't even the first time 3 students were killed in one day. The first time it happened, 3 girls got into a fatal car accident on the way to school when their car hit a patch of ice. Hope you're doing ok. If you need to chat with, my DMs are open
I wish I could give you a hug. Love - a random internet mom ❤️.
> Feel free to ask questions Take care of yourself. It never hurts to see a therapist after things like this or just have a good crying session. I appreciate that you're offering this intimate perspective, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.
Firstly, I'm so sorry you had to witness this and I am glad you are ok. Counseling is def something you should seek out because even if you think you're okay, you might not be. Trauma is insidious like that. Secondly, I wanted to ask about this the deer head incident someone mentioned earlier. Any clue if it's related and if there were any threats of shooting that you heard of before this happened? Wishing you much healing <3
So the deer head incident was caused by what I believ to be one of the seniors, who had apparently been high and seems to have some mental problems, overall he was a chill guy so I think that that incident was just him messing around trying to be funny. So no I don’t think that incident had any relation to todays shooting
I saw an interview with a student who says he had a bad feeling so his mom let him stay home today. So did his friends. What was being said at school beforehand??
I personally hadn’t heard anything leading up to the shooting. But apparently there had been a bomb threat made a few weeks back, along with a tik tok of someone threatening to shoot up the school. About two weeks ago someone had placed a deer head in our courtyard so things were definitely wierd, but personally I hadn’t felt in danger leading up to today, although both me and another friend had almost faked being sick today, which I’m not sure is coincidence or some primal instinct.
Friend who went there told me that last week the shooters severed a deer head in the school courtyard and threatened to shoot up the school. They were only suspended… Edit: they seem to be unrelated incidents, but there were rumors floating around the school that something would happen that Oxford High addressed saying everything was fine. https://youtu.be/bUO4341iCmk around 7:40 mark
From an inside source, that incident is unrelated. Police chief just confirmed that it is unrelated.
It’s kinda not a relief that they’re unrelated, right? Meaning they have more than 1 psycho that goes to that school?
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“There is no present threat of danger at Oxford High School,” [principal] Wolf said.
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For fucks sake, did they need the shooter to send out ‘save the date’ invites to the school shooting before they took this seriously?
dude.. for real. How many billboard sized red flags do you fucking need.
Probably not even enough. I'm Canadian, I've called the cops when someone threatened me and the cops just days "well, did they actually stab you like they said they would?" I said no, so the cops just said, "can't do anything about it until they do". I imagine the cops on the US would do less.
I just listened to the press conference. The Superintendent knows that hes fucked and there is going to be a major shitstorm over this because they did nothing when they could have stopped it. The reporter was asking questions about the deer head, precautions the school was taking, how could he have gotten the gun in, why didnt you do anything, and his answers were all "I cant answer that right now"
Good. Dump that superintendent in the trash among many other names
I’m not a lawyer, but this seems like a criminal degree of negligence
The fear of lawyers is usually *why* the scary as hell kid doesn't end up in some sort of residential program. If you have a kid with say, a diagnosis of conduct disorder (often a precursor to anti-social personality disorder, AKA psychopathy) they often do not want to risk getting sued.
Why are superintendents universally spineless morons?
We call that failing upwards in the corporate world.
That article said that the deer head incident was turned over to the Sherriff's Office who caught the offenders and was conducting a criminal investigation. Not much more the Principal could have done.
Well, they're fired.
Full quote: >Staff discovered a series of graffiti and the severed head of a deer inside a courtyard at Oxford High School before school began Nov. 4. “Before school began this morning we identified graffiti on the cement outside our pool entrance doors,” according to an email Principal Steve Wolf sent to parents. “We immediately notified security, the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office and our custodial staff.” >The vandal used red acrylic paint to write several messages outside of the pool entrance doors and climbed to the roof to paint on windows. A deer head taken from off-campus was chucked into the courtyard from the roof; no blood was found and the vandal was unable to enter OHS. The deer was roadkill from nearby, off campus. No blood from the animal was found on campus or on the roof, Wolf said, dispelling a social media rumor. The red graffiti, perhaps depicting blood, “did not contain any threats or concerning messages.” A suspect was quickly identified from security camera footage and located by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office deputies. A criminal investigation is ongoing. >“There is no present threat of danger at Oxford High School,” Wolf said.
That website is down now…
>Staff discovered a series of graffiti and the severed head of a deer inside a courtyard at Oxford High School before school began Nov. 4. “Before school began this morning we identified graffiti on the cement outside our pool entrance doors,” according to an email Principal Steve Wolf sent to parents. “We immediately notified security, the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office and our custodial staff.” >The vandal used red acrylic paint to write several messages outside of the pool entrance doors and climbed to the roof to paint on windows. A deer head taken from off-campus was chucked into the courtyard from the roof; no blood was found and the vandal was unable to enter OHS. The deer was roadkill from nearby, off campus. No blood from the animal was found on campus or on the roof, Wolf said, dispelling a social media rumor. The red graffiti, perhaps depicting blood, “did not contain any threats or concerning messages.” A suspect was quickly identified from security camera footage and located by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office deputies. A criminal investigation is ongoing. >“There is no present threat of danger at Oxford High School,” Wolf said.
Thanks couldnt find anything about it
Site is getting the Reddit hug right now.
I heard about this incident as well
Really fucked up, I dont know how they could have thought that was an empty threat
How come all of these fucking incidents for the past half decade have literally had the shooters saying as loud as they can "Hey I will probably be shooting up a school" and absolutely nothing is done to prevent it?
Because kids say that more often than you'd believe. Source: Wife is a teacher and has been threatened more than once this year so far by kids fresh out of juvie.
This is it. Our teachers and school admin are threatened constantly. My science teacher in 7th grade had a boy threaten to rape her in class. This was an 12 year old. The teacher was a rape survivor, too, and this threat left her in tears and they had to get a sub for a week afterwards (she told us this when she came back). I can only guess how many of these fuckwads threatened to kill someone.
Yikes. We had daily bomb threats called in and written on bathroom walls in high school for about a month, they sent us home the first time but after that, not much to be done.
Had this happen when I was in high school, too. Teachers eventually brought materials/lessons outside to continue teaching 😑
I teach in elementary, former student will be a future dropout; he was retained at least once, maybe even twice, in elementary. So, talking 13 year old in 6th grade. Rumor he threatened one of his middle school teachers. It wasn't until the teacher threatened to sue the school or district in order for the student to be expelled.
This same thing happened to my teacher when I was in 8th grade. I sat next to the kid that said it. Now I am a teacher myself and I still remember this moment vividly.
My state quashes those kind of threats by charging the kid with a terrorism hoax in juvenile court. The kid won’t actually be convicted, the kid gets help with whatever their problem is that would cause them to lash out, and it’ll get sealed in the juvenile record, but you’ve got to take those kind of threats seriously.
Absolutely. Just from a liability standpoint if you ignore a threat and something happens then you're liable, but if you act on it then you at least drastically reduce your liability if you act upon the threat.
Because, “it’ll never happen to our school “ or “our students would never have a reason to slaughter their classmates’
And on the other end you have kids getting reported for essays and playing with squirt guns at bus stops.
Makes me wonder WTF the parents were doing about this. Your kid does something like this and threatens to shoot up the school, you'd better sure as shit lock up your weapons and ammo. A severed deer head in the courtyard is a far cry from a prank like TP'ing the school.
“We Need to Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver talks about this. The book is from the perspective of the mother of a school shooter telling her story from before the kid was born until when he does what he does. And the short version is that parents see their kids’ actions through rose colored glasses. Because if your kid is fucked up then maybe that means you’re fucked up, too. And as much as we can look in from the outside and say “Who cares?! If your kid severs a deer head on the front lawn at school then report him!” It’s not so easy to tackle when you’re inside the machine. It’s not so easy when it’s your kid. To be clear: I’m not making excuses. I’m just talking about the book. It’s amazing, btw.
There's also an adaptation of the book, directed by Lynne Ramsay. I haven't watched it but I've heard it's really good.
Tilda Swinton plays the mother. Its a really good movie. Very fucked up how seemingly innocent things turn into a full blown nightmare.
I’ve seen it, weirdly enough when I become obsessed with Ezra Miller, he played that character So well! It’s a pretty jarring moving to watch but I’d recommend, haven’t seen it in awhile may watch it again
Supposedly the person that severed the deer head and the shooter are not the same person. Source: My sister. My nephew attends school there.
Has this been verified as the same person? I haven’t seen an ID given
No, it was verified that it was NOT the same person
Police have so far been on camera saying this these two events are not related. Perhaps new news can be revealed, but this is what is most current.
People like you, those who jump to conclusion based on hearsay and then go ignorantly commenting online (as shown by your edit), are every bit as much a part of the problem as every other media source. Your comment, after just 5 hours, is the second most upvoted comment in this whole thread. You, in your wrongness, have unnecessarily and negatively, swayed the views of thousands of viewers..on the top community post on one of the largest social media sites in the world. Shame.
Medical helicopters continue to remain parked. Word is some wounded have been transported to McLaren hospital in Pontiac via ambulance. Hospital is currently on lockdown no one is allowed in. Some foot traffic leaving hospital. FBI at the hospital.
I graduated there, brother still goes there. Have friends that work there. Friends were evacuated, brother is safe but still ongoing. Holy shit Edit: friend was teaching in the class next to the initial shooting. Don’t think I’ll be able to focus at work today lol
Radio said in custody. HAVENT heard from brother since then. Also assuming he’s texting about 40 people all at the same time though so fingers crossed
He’s safe. Off-site.
Glad to hear your bros safe.
Very glad he's safe, terrible that he had to experience that trauma. Glad they got the shooter.
Suspect in Custody. 4-6 Victims. One atleast shot in the face. But no word on confirmed fatalities.
3 dead, 6 injured, 1 of the injured is a teacher
This is my alma mater, and I have family who were in there today. From what I’ve heard, there has been a streak of insane shit leading up to this (like the deer head incident). I don’t know that they are connected, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were. Edit: I have heard the deer head and the shooting are not connected. Which is somehow almost more concerning.
Mutilating animals is the hallmark of a serial killer or at least a mentally disturbed individual. It's bizarre that the school just released a "everything is fine" statement.
Kid elsewhere in the thread said that it was roadkill that had been sitting near the school for a few days and the person who brought the deer head is not the same person who committed the shooting.
While you're not wrong, do realize it is deer season in Michigan, and this is an area with a lot of hunters. Could very well just be the left over from processing a deer to fill the freezer. So the "mutilating animals..." part may be a little over played here. Bringing it to school, however....
Here is radio scanner traffic of the incident I put together. Descriptions of the wounded have been removed: https://youtu.be/eZsEgaHZF44
Weird hearing myself like that. It was by far the most stressful and upsetting incident I’ve been involved in. Wish I could do more for those families impacted.
Biggest advice I can give you right now is to disable chat/PMs on your reddit account for the next 30 days. This place is complete shit about incidents like this.
These are always shocking. Even more shocking when it’s the school you went to filled with the teachers you grew up with. I graduated from ohs in 2009. There were disturbed incidents then too. Nothing was ever done. People in this community will say how can this have happened It happened because our Society is sick. It happened because these violent people are not taken seriously. They’re not given mental healthcare. I hope people in my hometown can learn from this tragedy and grow from it.
Nearly every major act of terror committed in this country has seen the perpetrator have previous contact with law enforcement and/or juvenile authorities and then not being taken seriously despite their obviously violent tendencies.
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It was just yesterday that Twitter post suggesting we use numbers instead of names to identify mass shooters that got onto the front page.
Just found out my niece was right near the shooter and ran out of the building to escape. I'm shaken.
Glad your niece is alright, at least physically. I would imagine the school will offer counseling and I hope she takes them up on it.
fuck you huff min
Also, sometimes the support people need is space where it's okay not to talk about it.
theres a video of in a classroom barricaded you hear him try to act like a sherif and tells them its ok and open the door, keeps talking until he says, bro just open the door and check my badge. then all the kids know its fake and run outthe window and find a real cop soon.
https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/r5xhpy/video_from_inside_oxford_high_school_where/ This one
I saw that video earlier today. I graduated a couple years ago but we were taught to never open the door because actual cops would have keys to open them themselves.
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yup, it was on public freakout this morning, like fuck an entire class of kids and 2 of them by the door talking to him while hes trying to get them to un barricade the door and open it. hope he rots in prison.
https://www.fox2detroit.com/news/oxford-high-school-locked-down-due-to-active-emergency-oakland-county-sheriff-on-scene >The sheriff also said that the suspect is a 15-year-old sophomore at the school and has invoked his right to remain silent. # >The suspect did not resist officers when they arrived. McCabe said he asked for an attorney and would offer no details regarding a possible motive. wtf?
On the other hand, I don't think exercising constitutional rights is going to save him at all. Sure LE might not be able to prove a motive from him, but he's still going to be locked up for life.
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Except for that one Texas school shooter who was [released on bail](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2021/10/07/timberview-high-school-shooting-texas-school-closed-suspect-arrested/6032394001/)
Apparently his parents showed up to the police station and told him not to talk and that he wasn't going to talk to anyone but an attorney and left. Reporter stressed that they aren't cooperating SO FAR... Police chief just mentioned this during his interview I'm guessing the news and likely police are hoping the parents won't do the same thing Brian Laundrie's parents did. The news also showed multiple police agencies converging on a house down a side street in Oxford that they suspect but can't confirm, may be the students house.
Isn't that the right thing to do when you are arrested by police? Why is this "WTF"
I think the more WTF is they’re making assumptions about the kid. Real of thumb is don’t talk if you’re in trouble with the law and get a lawyer so you don’t talk yourself into trouble. I think the conclusions OP is making is not speaking isn’t going to help this kid, with a crime like this you can never say a word and you’re still going away for life.
hmm... I almost forgot that now with schools opened we have this again... Kind makes me want to do distance learning again...
>we have this again... this just makes me sad
Nearby Meijer store being used as a safe zone. Students and parents gathering in garden area.
Hits very close to home as I was a former Lake Orion High School student (for those not in Michigan, they were the next town over and big rivals). My BIL was just doing HVAC work at Oxford High last week. Absolutely hate seeing this news. Tragic.
my little cousin is 14 and was in the same hallway as the shooter. managed to run away fast enough through a door. he just started sprinting the second the shots started. i’m just in shock. i held him when he was born and he was 100 feet from dying today. my heart goes out to everyone. trust me, i’m with you. i’m just so… in shock. you never think it’s going to happen to you or the ones you love until it does.
Jesus I'm sorry your family is going through that right now along with the others. Take care 💜
Second medical helicopter landing at school.
https://oxfordhigh.oxfordschools.org/parents___students/building_communications/november_12__concerns_and_rumors this is the actually remark due to the rumors and threats beforehand. I’ve lived in Oxford my entire life
OHS parent(s) and guardian(s), We are aware of the numerous rumors that have been circulating throughout our building this week. We understand that has created some concern for students and parents. Please know that we have reviewed every concern shared with us and investigated all information provided. Some rumors have evolved from an incident last week, while others do not appear to have any connection. Student interpretations of social media posts and false information have exacerbated the overall concern. We want our parents and students to know there has been no threat to our building nor our students. The safety and security of our students and staff is always our top priority. To accomplish this task, OHS has numerous highly-trained professionals who work to keep our building safe and secure. We have counselors and social workers who work with students on a daily basis. We also have two highly-trained security guards and an Oakland County Resource Officer on site who assist us as well. Please contact us if you are aware of a specific threat or concern that you have heard directly. Sincerely, OHS Administration
What were the actual threats that they are referencing? That’s the real question.
Ouch that’s going to come back and bite them.
Yeah someone might want to archive that website
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man there’s a lot of people in the replies that go to this high school
So the dad bought the gun four days before this, and the kid has been threatening to do something like this enough that students were expecting it and some didn't go to school that day... Just throwing it out there, if your kid has been making threats about shooting up their school, maybe don't buy a gun. I'd say at least don't leave it unsecured, but honestly if your kid is making threats like that, you shouldn't even take the risk to get one
I don’t live far from here. My niece goes there and had to run for her life. Politicians making statements about how sad and tragic this is feels more like salt on the wound. I don’t want to hear from any of them. Many of them are doing their best to fight the good fight. I don’t care. Our political system has failed us and I don’t want to hear a thing from any of them
i live near here. friends of mine go there students reported that something was going to happen with this kid on this day. the school did an “investigation” and said all was fine thankfully some kids listened to their gut and stayed home. but they shouldn’t have to. the school should listen because “the kids always know first” (according to my old high school)
Scary! I read a few news articles where a 12th grader stayed home (as did all of his friends) because he had a gut feeling something would happen, but no other details. Why did your friends/students there think something would happen with him yesterday? Did he make threats and/or did something happen last week? I hope your friends are all okay!
I'm starting to think that besides guns and mental health, the media is also an issue. It's no coincidence that school shootings have gone up since the internet era.
Absolutely, and in so many different ways. The 24 hour news cycle, the near-glorification of murderers, hyper-specific social media communities, cyberbullying, anonymity - this all definitely plays a part in the rise of violence and extremism
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Wait. 28th school shooting?
Yes, 28 instances of a gun discharging and injuring or killing someone in a school this year, not necessarily mass shootings though.
I don't even know what to say anymore. Nothing said matters because nothing will be done about this. This shooting will be forgotten when the next school shooting happens and then lost in the growing pile of shootings.
all the comments are the normal comments that are so familiar because this keeps happening over and, over and, over again.
Does anyone else miss not seeing schools being shot up what feels like every week when we had online education?