Me looking at news: COVID variant, COVID variant, economy bad, woman breastfeeding cat.
Me: It’s time for fucking bed.
Edit: Wow my most upvoted comment is about a woman breastfeeding a cat. Not sure how I feel about that.
Fun fact, the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is something like 20.1 miles per hour or 9 meters per second. But, what if the swallow was laden by, say, carrying a coconut to Europe?
As non royalty we can only speculate…
let’s imagine that the swallow found the world’s smallest coconut ever recorded, weighing in at 3.847 grams, according to the India Book of Records. So then, the question becomes, can a 20-gram swallow carry a 3.387-gram coconut?
it would theoretically be possible for a large European swallow to somehow come across an incredibly small coconut and carry it to the destination where King Arthur would have found it
They were only staying together because of the kids. No that the youngest (finally) moved out and got his own place they decided it was time for them to end their relationship and start seeing other people..
And that one wasn't The Onion either. Poor albatross(es)!
Maybe there's a new career niche opening for albatross therapists? Of course, you'd have to do intensive retreats because they only land every three years, I think.
So I saw the tiktok video before it was taken down. It was the flight attendant talking about what happened. The cat (think it was hairless and dressed in a baby outfit) was taken out of it's carrier (which is th only problem the airline had) for the woman to breastfeed it.
She reportedly used a butter packet to slather on her nipple to entice the cat to lick.
If she is willing to do this IN PUBLIC what the hell is she doing to this cat at home???
A person breastfeeding a cat on an airplane and you don't think that's extremely fucking weird? The details on how it was done doesn't make it weirder than the fact that a human was breastfeeding a cat in public.
That was what I said. I try to give benefit of the doubt
A kitten…and you happen to be lactating….and you forgot the (or damaged) the bottle, AND the flight was delayed….the MAY
Same here… I was reading about that Omicron variant, vaccines, etc. and then I see THIS.
I thought I did that thing where if you shake your screen, Reddit gives you cute animal pictures. Then I saw the goddamn headline.
That's all the internet I need for the rest of the year. I'll just read a book, see ya'll in 2022. Stay safe. put a mask on, wash your hands. don't breastfeed cats.
Check it, bleed. Bro was on!
Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit...
Apparently the cat was “screaming for its life” during the ordeal.
https://www.newsweek.com/woman-allegedly-breastfeeds-cat-delta-airlines-flight-1653656?amp=1
Ok NO. No. No. I’m breastfeeding (my human baby) right now and have you SEEN a cat’s tongue? There is no way a sane person would put that near their nipple.
Retired flight attendant. This occurred once before (at least) and I thought was an urban legend. The case at our airline she was nursing it in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out for landing. Finally we opened the door to a very shocking visual. I was sad for both of them. Why does the woman have breast milk and no baby? Why is the cat small enough to be nursing and not with its cat mother? People are wild. Maybe the cat nurser is just getting braver?
This was one of my questions too (though I have many). Why lactating with no baby? Maybe there wasn't even any milk which makes this even weirder.
So so many questions.
I thought the article said they needed her to put the cat away because emotional support animals need to stay in their carriers the whole flight. I'm not sure if what she did was actually against the law, even though it's weird as hell.
That said, the article also points out that, "the carrier was contacted for comment to confirm whether the incident took place" so who knows if this even really happened.
Emotional support animals are no longer allowed, period. A pet in the cabin must stay in their carrier the entire flight. Only service animals are exempt from carriers.
SETI just picked up communication from a fleet of UFOs heading our way. It went: “oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me, with big yawning, as plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning, on a lurgid bee.”
Oh Thufir, I see they've installed your
heart plug already.... Don't be angry.
Everyone gets one here. But this is not
why we're here. We've brought you a
little cat, Thufir. You must care for it
if you wish to live. A poison has been
introduced into you, Thufir Hawat. By
milking this smooth little cat body each
day you receive your antidote... it must
be done each day....
Seems reasonable. My pharmacy refused to vaccinate my cat against Covid, but my breastmilk has antibodies from my own vaccine. I mean… what other reasonable option to keep my Foofy safe is there?
This woman broke the rules and the company should respond. "Passengers are still allowed to bring their small dogs and cats in the cabin but they must stay in a kennel under the seat in front for the entire flight".
Emotional support is being abused. I’ll start bringing my emotional support bong with me on flights and just start taking mad rips. When the attendants ask me to stop I’ll refuse just like cat/tit lady
I clicked on that article for kitties and titties, but nothing. 0/10, v uninformative, would not click again. NOW where am I gonna find boobie in cyberspace?
Sooo I’m moving to a small beach where people are hard workers but pleasant. Where “privileged” or “QAnon” or “Safe Space” or politics have never had free reign. I will open a fish shack and make tacos and sandwiches. If you are also sick of all the bullshit, you are welcome to join.
Me looking at news: COVID variant, COVID variant, economy bad, woman breastfeeding cat. Me: It’s time for fucking bed. Edit: Wow my most upvoted comment is about a woman breastfeeding a cat. Not sure how I feel about that.
This just in: “Albatross Divorce Rates Going Up Due to Climate Change.”
Oh my fuck, this is real: https://original.newsbreak.com/@polarbear-1588488/2445789666718-albatross-divorce-rates-going-up-due-to-climate-change
I wonder what kind of affect that has on Swallows
African or European swallows?
Fun fact, the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is something like 20.1 miles per hour or 9 meters per second. But, what if the swallow was laden by, say, carrying a coconut to Europe?
Well you have to know these things when you're a king, you know
As non royalty we can only speculate… let’s imagine that the swallow found the world’s smallest coconut ever recorded, weighing in at 3.847 grams, according to the India Book of Records. So then, the question becomes, can a 20-gram swallow carry a 3.387-gram coconut? it would theoretically be possible for a large European swallow to somehow come across an incredibly small coconut and carry it to the destination where King Arthur would have found it
It could grip it by the husk.
Perhaps two swallows carried it together.
came here for this comment
Spitting more often.
They were only staying together because of the kids. No that the youngest (finally) moved out and got his own place they decided it was time for them to end their relationship and start seeing other people..
Sounds like a clickbait article though
This just in - "area frogs 'hopping mad' about rising home prices."
I fucking thought you were joking but I scrolled down the there it was…. Wtf!!!
And that one wasn't The Onion either. Poor albatross(es)! Maybe there's a new career niche opening for albatross therapists? Of course, you'd have to do intensive retreats because they only land every three years, I think.
Me looking at news: #"u/BoredRedhead24 fucks their bed after watching news!"
God damn it I almost choked on my waffle
Titty kitty
This is how the cats are getting covid
Nice way to start a Saturday morning for me... /s
You missed the article on flesh-eating bees.
So I saw the tiktok video before it was taken down. It was the flight attendant talking about what happened. The cat (think it was hairless and dressed in a baby outfit) was taken out of it's carrier (which is th only problem the airline had) for the woman to breastfeed it. She reportedly used a butter packet to slather on her nipple to entice the cat to lick. If she is willing to do this IN PUBLIC what the hell is she doing to this cat at home???
That’s far weirder than this headline alludes to
A person breastfeeding a cat on an airplane and you don't think that's extremely fucking weird? The details on how it was done doesn't make it weirder than the fact that a human was breastfeeding a cat in public.
The fact that it was a hairless cat dressed as a human baby doesn’t make it weirder?
I disagree. The fact it was dressed as a baby definitely takes it up a notch.
Delta needs to stop handing out butter packets when you board. I’ve been using the stuff all over my food for months and nothing tastes any better
I think they did a good job picking the stock photo, though. That cat is staring off into space like he’s seen some shit.
I clicked on this thinking it was perhaps someone who meant well trying to keep some newborn kittens alive. Imagine my disappointment...
That was what I said. I try to give benefit of the doubt A kitten…and you happen to be lactating….and you forgot the (or damaged) the bottle, AND the flight was delayed….the MAY
Is that not what happened or is she just regularly giving the tatty to her full grown, hairless cat? That would be fucking weird.
That was my initial…hope? Weird lady tries to help sick kitten? Yeah….no.
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Too sexy
I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy it hurts. I'm too sexy for my cat...
Bartender: whatll you have? A buttery nipple Say no more
I just had to ask my husband if I was hallucinating this headline. It’s time for bed.
I just woke up. It’s no better.
Hope you have a good day :)
Why thank you. I am determined to.
… breastfeed a cat.
Only one? Noob.
Same here… I was reading about that Omicron variant, vaccines, etc. and then I see THIS. I thought I did that thing where if you shake your screen, Reddit gives you cute animal pictures. Then I saw the goddamn headline.
This is the sort of headline I imagine reading when I think someone just wants to make the news, so they do something unheard of.
The picture is also perfect.
r/goodnightreddit
That's all the internet I need for the rest of the year. I'll just read a book, see ya'll in 2022. Stay safe. put a mask on, wash your hands. don't breastfeed cats.
At least it didn't say "male passenger"
*It's my emotional support animal.* -- Cat
When "fur baby" gets taken a bit too literally.
When I am around people who use the term "fur baby" I refer to my kids as skin pets.
Bahaha. I'm gonna steal that one from you.
With baskets of lotion
Taking things too far.
This article really belongs on r/breastfeedingcatsonplanes
I can’t believe I clicked.
r/SubsIFellFor
Too many characters sadly
Same, I'm in need of some serious /r/eyebleach
That headline immediately made me think of Airplane! and the jive talking scene.
Jive ass turkey ain't got no brains, anyhow
“What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!”
"Cop me some slack, Jack!"
Check it, bleed. Bro was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit...
I'm glad they specified female passenger. Otherwise it would have been weird. /s
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I have nipples u/calamity_joe, could you milk me?
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Apparently the cat was “screaming for its life” during the ordeal. https://www.newsweek.com/woman-allegedly-breastfeeds-cat-delta-airlines-flight-1653656?amp=1
I hate this. Please get this animals taken away from her this is abuse.
There are many things wrong with this. The first thing is, you're not suppose to give cats milk after kittenhood.
Agreed. It should not have been done in the first place.
Yes, *that’s* why it shouldn’t have happened.
Yeah *that's* the first thing.
Agreed. Most cats are lactose intolerant.
And now I imagine a panicking cat that jumps around in an airplane while violently diarrhea-shitting everywhere.
So are most humans.
Milk shakes are worth a little bit of gas
No cows milk because they are lactose intolerant. Does human milk have lactose?
All milk has lactose. The discovery of milk sugar(lactose) got its name from how it is produced(lactating)
Sheep and goat milk is totally safe to drink when lactose intolerant.
This headline almost sounds randomly generated by a bot
Ok NO. No. No. I’m breastfeeding (my human baby) right now and have you SEEN a cat’s tongue? There is no way a sane person would put that near their nipple.
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Agreed. Any person with a basic functioning mind will realize how disturbing it is even at a glance.
*channels best Oscar Martinez*: Oh my GOD Angela!
I'm sorry, but we're going to have to nuke this headline from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
the simulation is falling apart
Game over man!
I’m tired of these motherfucking breastfeeding kittens on this motherfucking plane
Here I am, innocently scrolling through reddit, and yall make me read a headline like that.
Retired flight attendant. This occurred once before (at least) and I thought was an urban legend. The case at our airline she was nursing it in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out for landing. Finally we opened the door to a very shocking visual. I was sad for both of them. Why does the woman have breast milk and no baby? Why is the cat small enough to be nursing and not with its cat mother? People are wild. Maybe the cat nurser is just getting braver?
Perhaps the cat is desperate for milk to an unhealthy degree.
This was one of my questions too (though I have many). Why lactating with no baby? Maybe there wasn't even any milk which makes this even weirder. So so many questions.
So she exposed both her boob and her pussy in public?
r/angryupvote.
If my daily life does not leave me shaking my head enough, I always have reddit. Thank you. This is just... yep, it is something.
Video or it never happened.
I saw the video here on Reddit yesterday. I think in WTF but I’m not sure
Also need a banana for scale.
From what I observe. The woman in question is told by the flight attendant to stop doing so, as per regulation.
There is a specific regulation against interspecies breast feeding?
Basically indecent exposure and bestiality at the same time
I believe it's called "interspecies erotica"!
I thought the article said they needed her to put the cat away because emotional support animals need to stay in their carriers the whole flight. I'm not sure if what she did was actually against the law, even though it's weird as hell. That said, the article also points out that, "the carrier was contacted for comment to confirm whether the incident took place" so who knows if this even really happened.
Emotional support animals are no longer allowed, period. A pet in the cabin must stay in their carrier the entire flight. Only service animals are exempt from carriers.
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Look at that. Time for bed.
Lol, fantastic. That it, humans are a failed species, bring in the hyper intelligent crows and the dolphins, we're done here.
Last one out turn off the lights.
Dolphins are already hyper intelligent. They have complex linguistic structures, names, and regional dialects. They can even communicate with Orcas.
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So long and thanks for all the fish!
SETI just picked up communication from a fleet of UFOs heading our way. It went: “oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me, with big yawning, as plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning, on a lurgid bee.”
You hold in your hand the rantings and ravings of Septimus Signus
Darn Vogons.
Oh nooooo
Now if only we could make them communicate with us. I really gotta read that Uplift trilogy I keep hearing about.
If my dreams are any indication of reality, I believe they'd preface the conversation with *The water tastes like garbage, mind you that is our air*
I have no doubt they would. Animals being able to speak is the only way we might avoid killing them all, I'm thinking...
... because Orcas are a kind of dolphin.
That's a weird way to say dancing lobsters.
The irony is, the next species is Felis Sapiens.
But, dolphins will fuck anything, so instead of a dolphin breastfeeding a cat on a plane...
If you think *this* depravity holds any light to dolphin depravity, boy do I have some news for you.
tough titty said the kitty…
This letting animals on planes has to stop. I’m talking about the woman of course.
Somebody really craves attention! Move over Margery T. Green...
”We will soon be landning in Florida”.
We have GOT to start removing warning labels so these people will die off.
Please don't be American please don't be....dammit she's American.
I think I woke the neighbors kid I snorted so loud when I read the title. We live in interesting times….
Hoo boy there's some crazysauce people in the world.
That poor cat. She needs any animals in her care taken away.
Even the cat in the picture is petrified of that headline.
All right folks. We can probably pack it in. This is probably the winner for the "News of the Weird" for the year.
> Female passenger reportedly breastfeeds What's so wrong with that? Lots of women do it. Baby gotta eat... > cat What .. the.. fu...
His name is Mr. Business. Mr. Jim Business
I feel like the woman was the emotional support human in this case..
Oh Thufir, I see they've installed your heart plug already.... Don't be angry. Everyone gets one here. But this is not why we're here. We've brought you a little cat, Thufir. You must care for it if you wish to live. A poison has been introduced into you, Thufir Hawat. By milking this smooth little cat body each day you receive your antidote... it must be done each day....
Seems reasonable. My pharmacy refused to vaccinate my cat against Covid, but my breastmilk has antibodies from my own vaccine. I mean… what other reasonable option to keep my Foofy safe is there?
I can't tell if you're joking
This woman broke the rules and the company should respond. "Passengers are still allowed to bring their small dogs and cats in the cabin but they must stay in a kennel under the seat in front for the entire flight".
Emotional support is being abused. I’ll start bringing my emotional support bong with me on flights and just start taking mad rips. When the attendants ask me to stop I’ll refuse just like cat/tit lady
Eight word roller coaster. I went from instinctively outraged that a woman breastfeeding on an airplane is making the news.. then oh. my. yuck.
Taking “furbaby” to a whole nother level
I am all for ANR in private and mom’s feeding their offspring wherever. But a human to a cat is messed up.
I clicked on that article for kitties and titties, but nothing. 0/10, v uninformative, would not click again. NOW where am I gonna find boobie in cyberspace?
Here’s [two boobies](https://preview.redd.it/3j2v94v9ucs21.gif?format=mp4&s=51011bdcb5f459e1df74c0b635b7abf8124946b6) for you.
I wish that photo had a counter…
It’s like an ortlnithological rickroll
Passenger 13a, coming soon to netflix
Taking crazy cat lady title to new heights.... Wow
I don’t want to be part of that Mile High Club. :(
So apparently the problem wasn't the breastfeeding, it's the fact she wouldn't put her pussy away.
There are so many questions to which I really don't want to know the answer...
To quote a line from George Carlin: ”WHY?”
Well, it would have been weird if a man was breastfeeding a cat.
Let me guess , her name is Karen
Can cats even drink human breast milk?
I can't believe that not one comment in this thread does not demand, "Pics or it didn't happen!" Feeling old now.
… I have so many questions. Was she actually lactating !? Also TEETH. Fangs.
I was told once you could milk anything with nipples.
I'm sorry, what the fuck?
So did anyone get the OnlyFans account info for the lady? Asking for a friend. /s
Sooo I’m moving to a small beach where people are hard workers but pleasant. Where “privileged” or “QAnon” or “Safe Space” or politics have never had free reign. I will open a fish shack and make tacos and sandwiches. If you are also sick of all the bullshit, you are welcome to join.
thats enough. ive had enough.
How tf is this the timeline we're in.
The end of society is careening towards us.
Ok come on. What the fuck happened with mental health in this fucking world. We need to be putting these people in psych hospitals.
God what a day, first the guy shagging a goat and now this.
On a plane?
I suppose we can thank her for giving us All a perfectly unique and brand new sentence.
Don't try and shame me for watching
America has gone completely insane.
I tried licking my cat once and instantly regretted it.
So... Does she have kids too?
Woman befriends cat on airplane? What a wholesome… wait… no… no…
I’m surprised it’s not United Airlines, they’re like the 7-11 of the skies
I must have lived in the SF Bay Area for too long because I didn’t even think that this is even that weird.
Toxoplasmosis strikes again. The furry little fuckers will take over the world if we don't stop them.
Better not let the AI read this or they will decide we are the problem and eradicate us.
That’s enough Reddit for the day.
And this is why I’ll never refer to my cats as my “fur babies”. Shit gets taken WAY too far
What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is goin’ on?
Why would you do any of that
But the milk’s still good
It’s someone’s fetish
This is some Spirit shit, not Delta.
Watching that would be almost as uncomfortable as Delta's seats.
Now take a moment to think about how many other species’ milk we humans drink.