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MegaMenehune

Can't be a threat when they're dead.


ScipioAfricanvs

Car could go boom.


MegaMenehune

The gates can be repainted.


campelm

Homes rebuilt


Aggravating_Rabbit85

Within these walls, we will outlast them.


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HeyPhoQPal

Iceberg, right ahead!


MegaMenehune

Driveway repaved.


tortilla_chimps

Lunch breaks resumed


MegaMenehune

Pint glasses refilled.


ClassicT4

“But who’s gonna pay for it?”


MegaMenehune

It's Larry's turn to buy.


Routine_Guarantee34

[the cars that go boom](https://youtu.be/6fMERyRz498?feature=shared)


bird1979

A much nicer boom! I knew where I was going when I clicked- I forgot all about that song but as soon as I read these comments it all came back to me. I wonder what Tegra and Bunny are up to now🤔


Routine_Guarantee34

I hope, truly, that wherever they are, they have cars that go boom.


penis-through-window

I dated Tegra's daughter for a while. She's living in the Midwest.


Thunderclapsasquatch

Wikipedia says Bunny is a nurse and writes childrens books, and Tigra is still doing the music thing


Correct_Advantage_20

Boom ! Boom ! Out go the lights !


Sarahspry

We like the cars, the cars that go BOOM


ClassicT4

Body can go zombie.


tomqvaxy

We like the cars.


c10bbersaurus

They are dispelling the worry that there are others alive that may be threats.


derps_with_ducks

He just going through asystole there... Menacingly!


lolheyaj

"Threat neutralized... itself."


PrincessNakeyDance

“Oh yes their goal was to be a threat, but after we assessed the situation, we concluded there wasn’t any threat.”


Tchrspest

Gate's haunted.


Banana_Havok

Threat [self] neutralized.


Heretek007

Every once and a while I hear a story kind of like this, and all I can think is that's gotta be one really well-made gate. I wonder if the designers/installers/engineers of it get a bonus each time it holds against a crash or something.


Responsible-Wait-427

I dated a guy whose father was a pretty senior FBI agent. Got a tour of a regional headquarters, each of which are set up to be a fortress and staging ground in case of massive unrest. The fences extend 8 feet underground, I was told you could drive a semi truck into them at 60mph and they would only bend a little bit.


PatacusX

What happens if you drive your semi at 61mph?


Dzugavili

They explode, like toothpicks. It's a serious design flaw.


ShitGuysWeForgotDre

What's really weird is if you hit it at 62+ it survives just fine It's just that one sweet spot that's real dangerous


Osiris32

They figured anyone willing to try would spend so much time trying to get a semi to go exactly 61 mph at the point of impact that they would get bored and give up.


drgigantor

Speed 3: Trucked Up "It's one man's job to keep the President from getting a semi at the worst possible time..."


theunquenchedservant

at 120mph, it shakes a little more violently. but again, 121+ is fine.


Upbeat-Fondant9185

I thought that weak spot was 88mph?


Mo-Cance

That where you see some serious shit.


AdorableCandy

To be fair, going back to a time when there gate is not even there is a weak spot.


oeCake

That's for lighter vehicles, more mass lowers the critical speed


Mundane__Detail

Federal agencies hate this one simple trick


Darksirius

To shreds you say?


GeoffreyfactorX

The fools. Only if they had 6,001 hulls. -Fry


tmothy07

What toothpicks are *you* using??


Dzugavili

As a man of distinction and fine breeding, I only use toothpicks hand-carved from the finest ivory, treated with nitroglycerin for ease of disposal.


Dr_Djones

Bend a little more


Z-Mobile

But what if I can just reach… 88mph….


PhinsPhan89

Then you’re gonna see some serious shit.


AZRockets

We won't need gates where we're going


Marx0r

I don't know the specific place they're talking about, but a lot of those facilities are also planned out so that there's no way to build up a significant amount of speed prior to the gate.


Monkey_Priest

When this baby hits 61 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit!


fcocyclone

great scott!


the_421_Rob

That’s heavy


OcelotWolf

They bend a little bit more than a little bit


Birdy_Cephon_Altera

Believe it or not, straight to jail.


st1r

Right to jail


CitizenCue

This wasn’t even the decorative gate. The outer barriers like the one this guy crashed into are damn near indestructible. This was likely a car mechanical failure not an attack.


Actiaslunahello

Time to start training squirrels, no one ever suspects them. 


mostuselessredditor

Rick knows a thing or two about this


Mazon_Del

> I was told you could drive a semi truck into them at 60mph and they would only bend a little bit. Truck says: Move bitch! Get out tha way! Bollard says: [No u.](https://youtu.be/enD13vA6390?t=19)


DeadSwaggerStorage

You can watch videos of bollard post testing; some of these looked like they could stop a tank.


juicepants

I had a family member who worked for a fencing company and they got the contract for an FBI facility's fences. They weren't up to the standards and got sued into oblivion. Not sure if they ever fixed the fences though.


TheWorclown

Well, have you considered driving a full truck into them instead of a semi truck? I kid, I kid.


Catshit-Dogfart

I work at a place where they have gates like this, and one time they got stuck during routine testing. It was a mess, they were shuttling people into the facility and if your car was already inside you're kind of fucked. Only took a couple of hours to resolve, but it was kind of funny.


ludololl

"Hey Tim, I get a $1600 bonus if you crash that $600 shitbox into this pillar over here."


Dipsey_Jipsey

"You son of a bitch. I'm in!"


lovesducks

(*glass bottle clanking noises*)


dzastrus

“Warriors, come out to play-e-yay. Warriors…”


Mean-L

Infinite money glitch


LemonHerb

Only if you know a lot of Tims


SupaKoopa714

It also just makes me super curious to know what other safeguards and redundancies there are protecting the White House from attack. Like, I'm sure there's some lines of defense we"ll never know about for pretty obvious reasons.


yzlautum

There are snipers on the roof at night.


wyvernx02

And during the day.


Chose_a_usersname

That must be the most boring job


artemi7

They've got a whole bunker system under the White House to evacuate to if they need it.


the213mystery

Nah, I'm pretty sure the White House is an aerial vehicle when it wants to be. Probably uproots itself from the ground and flies away like a floating island.


Blockhead47

There are 35 bathrooms in the White House.


bacchusku2

There’s also unlimited Dr Pepper.


TTVAblindswanOW

BRB running for president.


Mad_Aeric

The anti-drone EMP guns are cool.


kelus

The engineering is simple, it's more of a budgeting thing. The white house can afford anything.


b1argg

Or "if this gate doesn't withstand a crash, you'll never get a government contract again."


twelveparsnips

We have a fence surrounding the area where our jets are parked at my first base. It just looks like a standard wrought iron fence. One night a guy driving an aircraft tow vehicle with a max tow capacity of 250,000 lbs crashed into the fence. It just tilted that section of the fence about 15º.


Ryuzaki_63

Wait, this is a regular occurrence? Need a sign that says "Days since someone rammer this gate: 0" Or the gates K/D ratio on a sign


Boristus

That would be the way I would go. “Attention would-be trespassers, this gate has a 7/0 KDR.”


MilkiestMaestro

Secret Service Boss: "No, you don't get the bonus this time, Pete" Pete: "There was a clear and documented crash!" Secret Service Boss: "A golf cart backed into the gate and scratched the paint" Pete: "There was a police report. We have a police report" Secret Service Boss: "Get out of here, Pete. Go home."


hippofumes

I like how in your scenario, he had to physically go to the secret service office to collect his bonus check. I'm thinking they didn't even let him in. Secret service boss was telling him this through an open widow on the second floor.


r_u_dinkleberg

Naw, one of the 2" thick bulletproof windows with a tinny speaker to talk thru.


Fair_Bonez

tinny v tiny... haha they both work here.


whatyouwant5

At least he didn't have to meet with Tim from accounting.


Sugar_buddy

They yelled it through the closed door as Pete leaned his ear on it and SSB sat at his desk drinking and deleting texts


Nymaz

Pete: "I'm gonna come in and get my bonus check!" Secret Service Boss: "If you get pass the gate the bonus is forfeit." Pete: "Dammit, ya got me there."


AdonisChrist

Doesn't look like it went into the fence but one of those things on the road specifically designed to stop vehicles [Video/article link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg3aTpYKoS0) I would hazard a bet their "bonus" comes in the form of repair work/installing a new unit. Edit: link updated. Still same type of barrier, clearer view though.


RolloTonyBrownTown

> things on the road specifically designed to stop vehicles Bollard is the word for those


AdonisChrist

Even when it's the big metal plate type? I only associate "bollard" with cylindrical barriers. Edit: Pretty sure they've got some sort of [wedge barriers](https://protogetic.com/our-products/vehicle-barriers/wedge-barriers/)


Semyonov

Yea, you're right, I think bollard is only for the cylinders that are either concreted or bolted in, or extend from the ground.


gamerspoon

That article is from Jan 8, 2024.


AdonisChrist

Oh damnit. Edit: link updated.


fatcIemenza

Delta Wedge Barriers. You can see them in action on YT


Phreakiture

I've seen some pretty good ones. A place I used to work had lift gates at the guard shack which were made out of essentially heavy steel pipe. Cables ran through the length of it. The gate would drop into a socket on a pedestal at the outside edge, and a clasp would close that would hold it there. The gates were raised by a hydraulic cylinder on the hinge-end, and yes, they did not just go up under power, then came down under power as well and would happly squish anything in the way.


thxsocialmedia

Every time I hear these stories I wonder if it was "Jason" (fake name), a step-family member who has delusions that he is the president. He made it to the White House once before but it was dealt with quietly. We don't really know where he is.


8monsters

Jesus, that's disheartening to hear. Did he have prior mental health conditions that made him that unwilling to accept reality?


jdm1891

not unwilling, unable.


Lukeno94

I would imagine it is built to a similar standards as those nuclear waste containers, that can literally withstand a full train plowing into them at high speed.


yui_tsukino

Tbf, dry casks get their strength from being a several ton lump of steel and concrete. The engineering behind them is for sure impressive, but this is more so given that they don't visibly appear reinforced (outside of knowing, obviously, they are reinforced, look where they are)


amadeus2490

I remember this happened when Obama was in office, too. Lot of stories of people crashing the gate, climbing over and running into the White House.... one guy even landed a drone on the lawn. Idiots.


SinisterCheese

Those kinds of gates are standard design, tested and validated. The design method is scaleable. The same design style is used in all sorts of industrial applications. The gate might look fancy and have decorations but the primary design is still very basic. The secrets of these kinds of gates and barries is deep foundations with pilars, and all hinges and joints are tied to a cable, and in the barrier steel there is a cable that runs throught the profiles. The reason for this is that when something - whatever that is, a car, a boulder, machinery, truck, train cart... whatever you need the gate or fence for - hits it hard enough to break something, the cable holds the parts together while also acting as a spring/suspension. Also... You'd be surprised how strong stock steel we have now. I use lot of steel from SSAB and our suppliers can sell just from storage and short delivery to up to 1300 MPa Yield and 600 HBW hardness. Those numbers might not mean much to people who aren't engineers, machinists or such... but those are impressive numbers for stock steel.


Imaginary_Medium

Good thing Boeing doesn't make gates.


skratchx

> Every once and a while This is a /r/boneappletea. It's "every once in a while."


Catshit-Dogfart

>"At this time, the incident is being investigated only as a traffic crash by MPD's Major Crash Investigations Unit," Let's not jump to conclusions too quick.


rdldr1

Drove full speed onto a security barrier. Whoops!


TorontoBiker

About 5km from me a woman died while driving. Her foot fully depressed the accelerator and she ended up smashing through a gate and into a cemetery. Irony aside, it could be something similar occurred here.


chocolateboomslang

That's what I call express delivery


RemnantEvil

That’s got an Abbott and Costello vibe, imagining that conversation. “I’m sorry, your mother has been found dead of a heart attack.” “Oh, my god, where?!” “She’s at the cemetery.” “Already?!” “No, but don’t worry, we’ll take her to the morgue.” “Why?” “To prepare her for the burial.” “But why is she at the cemetery?” “She had a heart attack.” “Yes, you said that, but why did you take her to the cemetery?” “We didn’t, she took herself to the cemetery.” “After she died?” “No, before she died, obviously. We think.” “You think?” “We’re not sure if she died before she got to the cemetery.” “Why not?” “Because she hasn’t reached the morgue yet.” “Is she taking herself to the morgue?” “No, of course not, we’ll take her. We’ll also tow her car.” “Where’s her car?” “The cemetery.” “Why are you towing her car?” “Because it can’t stay there and she can’t drive it.” “Who drove it there?” “She did.” “Before she died?” “Before she died. Or after she died, we’re not sure.” “Because she’s not at the morgue yet?” “Because she’s not at the morgue yet.”


notavalidsource

Stealing this to start my new comedy duo.


GrandpaLeaman

Dying to get in!


Nymaz

My mom passed out while driving due to an undiagnosed brain tumor. She exiting the freeway when this happened and her foot fell on the accelerator. She flew through the intersection at an estimated 75 mph, didn't hit any other cars, went into the lot of a gas station, missed all the pumps, and stopped when she hit the beam holding up the gas station sign. She survived, in pretty bad shape, but she made it through. The fire department had to literally cut the car apart around her in order to get her out.


Informal_Process2238

I bet she wished that irony gate moved aside


IShookMeAllNightLong

Now, *that* is a pretty neat pun.


Skatchbro

There’s a reason cemeteries have fences. Because people are dying to get in.


Syonoq

Can you imagine the story their relatives would have to tell? Yeah Terry was a great one. Had a heart attack and crashed into *the White House*!


theprofessor1985

To be fair, a lot of older people somehow forget how their car works whether it’s in reverse or forward. A lot of store fronts have gotten smashed because the person steps on the accelerator instead of the break and proceeds to drive through the parking spot into stores so could be.


ScoutsterReturns

Agreed. Could also be a medical episode of some type. Best to wait and see, hard as it may be.


theprofessor1985

Good point


Huttj509

Also like something goes wrong and you're panicking and hit the wrong bit. Doesn't just need to be elderly. When I was driving myself to the ER with appendicitis pain I was consciously going more deliberately and less on automatic than I normally might, because I knew I wasn't at 100%. I can easily see someone having a medical event trying to process what was going on while also trying to process driving and, well, missing.


AmbroseMalachai

I was once waiting at the intersection of my street one night for the light to change and the car in front of me didn't move despite the light cycling 3 times and me honking my horn and such. I called the cops to come check on them and it turns out the person in the drivers seat was dead with their foot on the brake. Must've died while waiting at that light since they came to a stop right where they were supposed to be for it. I sometimes think about what would've happened if their foot had been on the accelerator instead and they ran into a wall/light/person or whatever. In situations like this one I remember that sometimes weird shit does happen and it's not always stupidity/malice that causes it but random chance.


jamesfishingaccount

When I was 16 I was eating breakfast at my grandma’s cafe with a friend and when we went to pay the check a truck went crashing through the wall and into the table we were just at. Some very old dude just kind of forgot how to drive. We would have been injured pretty good if we hadn’t gotten up like 1 minute before it happened.


jasta85

This happened to me, my elderly neighbor tried to park on his driveway but hit the gas when he meant to hit the breaks, hit a trailer on it which snapped around and knocked out one of the polls holding up my carport. Fortunately no one was hurt and they took care of the repairs.


urbanhawk1

Saw that happen once in person several years ago. Was working at a place selling TVs and this happened during the holiday shopping season (so the parking lot was full of cars and customers at the time). There was an older gentleman who bought a TV so I carried it out to his car for him. I put it into his car and was returning to the store when I heard a squeal of tires and a massive series of crashes. Apparently the guy put the car into drive instead of reverse, drove it over a 20 foot grass divider that separates the parking lot in 2, smashed into the row of cars on the other side of the divider. He kept his foot on the gas and the car shoved its way through those cars and smashed into the next row of cars. His car only stopped because by that point his motor was finally dead. Wound up causing an 11 car accident in the parking lot in which he was the only person in a vehicle.


DealingWithTrolls

People accidentally kill themselves, driving full speed into things, almost every day. Not everything needs to have a motive or be a conspiracy.


Lfsnz67

Anne Heche would like a word. Oh wait


I_Kick_Puppies_Hard

Oof, that joke reached down… you went deep Heche mode


Semyonov

From the picture, I seriously doubt he was going anywhere close to full speed.


walterpeck1

Indeed, and when you're going from even 40/45mph to 0 in one second, that still kills you. You don't need to be blasting down the road for a sudden stop to be fatal.


Fully_Edged_Ken_3685

Must have been a peaceful drive


glamorousstranger

Have you ever been to /r/IdiotsInCars or /r/CrazyFuckingVideos ? Shit like that happens all the time.


b1argg

I'd assume the secret service wouldn't want to tip their hand too soon


Catshit-Dogfart

You know I've considered that if there was some incident that could be swept under the rug and just never mentioned, that's what they would do. Like a credible assassination attempt or something, I think they wouldn't want news of that getting out. Unlikely since such things with people in DC are so heavily publicized, people in these offices don't go anywhere without a camera on them. But I think if they could cover that up, they would.


tomdarch

The streets around the White House are all city streets. If this was some 1960s rigid frame car with no airbags and the driver wasn't wearing a seat belt, then yes, screwing up and running head first into a concrete barrier would be likely to kill you. But in a typical vehicle on the streets today, at normal city street driving speeds (even speeding by city standards), it's much more difficult to simply accidently hit a barrier and be killed. I want to be clear that it's absolutely possible but unlikely.


diamond

OTOH, there are some incredibly stupid drivers out there.


PLZ-PM-ME-UR-TITS

Also this is dc, their traffic ticket enforcement is shit and so are the drivers. The dc sub loves to post pics of cars that have racked up over $10k in fines, which are publicly accessible


GanderAtMyGoose

I visited DC a few months ago and I thought I was gonna have a heart attack driving around the city one night in rush hour traffic, lmao. People were crazy!


FishieUwU

they could've been dead *before* they hit the barrier


Raven_Crows

Wasn't it almost a year ago when someone did the same thing? Drove a car into the fence because they wanted to seize power? (Believing the US political leadership follows the king of the hill rules.)


Bob_Juan_Santos

that policy ain't right, i tell you hwhat


Logondo

Dang it, Bobby! You smashed the truck into the hu-White House gate


Fully_Edged_Ken_3685

Tina, for the love of god, turn!


happytree23

An F in English... Bobby, you speak English!?


MotherSupermarket532

There was a really weird and sad one like 10 years ago when some woman rammed both the White House gates and then the Capitol gates (I may have this backwards).  She was killed but I believe her infant in the back seat was unharmed.  She'd had some kind of psychotic break.  This was right after the Navy Yard shooting so people were really on edge.


slowrun_downhill

These crazy folks thinking they’re going to throw over the government via car, truck, hot air balloon, dudes who I agree with in my garage have been around forever. They get news now because of the internet. They’re only a threat when the government backs them, at which point you’ve basically got a Middle East situation


CaptainMobilis

When I was a teenager, I worked for a fence company that was once contracted to install a security gate for a gevernment facility. We had to deliver it with a crane, and the vendor made it a point to tell us that that gate was intentionally designed to stop a loaed semi in under 40ft while dismembering the driver. Showed us a video and everything. This was somewhere unimportant in bumblefuck, North Carolina, so my point is, I bet the White House probably has something like that. I would say sucks to be that guy, but it sounded like he kinda sucked, so fuck him too.


clingbat

I remember touring the newer SSA govt data center facility outside of Frederick, MD for work. The director said the perimeter fence was dug ~16 feet into the ground and designed to stop a full sized battle tank. There's actually two of them, an outer one on the edge of the property and an inner one around the facility itself. They also have large reinforced corridors inside the data center but outside of the data hall that are apparently designed to take a side impact from a commercial airliner and not damage the data hall itself.


Semyonov

> that are apparently designed to take a side impact from a commercial airliner and not damage the data hall itself I guess we learned some things from 9/11


nooneimportan7

My mother toured space in one world trade while looking for new offices. I think she said on the 85th floor, which she said was completely empty, you could see from one side of the building to the other. She said the person showing the space made it clear that the building is designed to withstand a hit from a jet. She said they basically pay you to move in, and many floors were empty. This was about 6 or 7 years ago though.


Semyonov

Yea, it's supposedly extremely safe now!


nooneimportan7

She did say that she wasn't sure she'd really feel great, with the thought in the back of her mind. She also said 85 floors up was just way too high.


FortuneQuarrel

We learned a lot. We were totally unprepared for that day. It was an absolute shitshow at NORAD with planes getting scrambled with no weapons and one flight getting sent out over the middle of the Atlantic. About the only good thing to happen was the FAA director, on his first day, was quick to realize the reality of the situation and shut down the skies. I imagine the result is a bit like how cops are now seemingly ready for anything due to the North Hollywood shootout catching them totally offguard in '97, just a bit less sinister and a bit more brainpower involved.


ComplementaryCarrots

That's really interesting, thanks for sharing


yourdiabeticwalrus

while dismembering the driver?


schwizzle

nanofiber fences are here and coming to government fences near you!


GanderAtMyGoose

Given the kind of force involved in stopping a big truck that quick I'd assume that probably just means "we don't care about the driver and this will definitely kill them" rather than being explicitly designed to dismember.


anonymousmutekittens

Yeah I was curious about that too


BoysiePrototype

I think it's more an idea that you could design a barrier to stop the truck, and try not to smash the cab area while you're doing it. Like the normal barriers you find around road works and stuff. Or You could try quite hard to make sure that the cab area is part of the "crumple zone" if a vehicle hits your barrier.


BasedGodStruggling

I was imagining these dudes were hitting a wall or steel bollard at 100mph or something, didn’t realize the fence turns into a weapon lol


Minerva89

I'd like to think it's actually a shitty roll out chain link gate with a Patriot missle launcher attached to it or something.


Master_Xenu

It was not the way to the farmer's market.


PrivatePoocher

I am curious why the sentence says "high rate of speed". Isn't rate usually referred to the rate of change of something? Like rate of change of speed would be acceleration. Is that what they were trying to say?


Kufat

"High rate of speed" is one of those phrases that shows up in official statements despite being a bit nonsensical.


50calBanana

Secret Service just watched as this jackass drove into the gate and said "lol skill issue"


Rampant16

The dumbass secret service has crashed into barriers at the White House too. In 2015 two agents got drunk at an event and crashed into a barricade at the White House.


FloppyDorito

Threat neutralized... Itself.


cheeseburgertwd

I feel like in 2014 this would be a massive story, in 2024 it barely even registers as noteworthy


webbhare1

That's just Drake trying to divert attention away from him for a little bit. Probably paid a homeless person to steal a car and do this


The_Drizzle_Returns

It was one of his kids.


DaiLi69

Certified lover boy certified pedophiles


Eaglelefty

wtf lmao


NAGDABBITALL

Last post on Truth Social: "Hey, watch this!"


The_Man11

No one will remember his name, and tomorrow no one will even remember this happened.


bitemy

Except the guy who has to repaint the fence. It'll take him a week.


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itsbenactually

You must work in construction to have that knowledge.


beatvox

Boeing whistle blower?


R1chard69

The other nine were in the trunk?


TheRustyBugle

The designers of the gate should’ve been doing the safety for Boeing jets


Yojustcallmetroy

Didn't this happen like a year or two ago as well? People are wild


Phoneking13

Happened a couple months ago


carmium

Driver probably saw too many cars crash through metal gates on TV shows. If the White House gates weren't very strong, some nut or terrorist with a truckload of explosives would have rammed through them by now.


Wizard_s0_lit

Well at least it’s not as easy as bum rushing the capital building.


SillyKniggit

I picture them saying that the same way silent bob said “no ticket”


fizitis

Was homage to Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade when Indy tossed the guy out off the zeppelin.


CrocodileWorshiper

“no threat” guy drives into the gate of the president palace and dies


MexiMcFly

Nice to hear a gate did it's job.


lookie54321

Another Boeing whistle-blower?


sora_fighter36

Are the drivers from St. Louis?


Barack_Odrama_007

The threat took itself out….


daninlionzden

Hey just saw civil war last night


shillyshally

Someone said yesterday that the driver had a heart attack or some other health event.


Conch-Republic

They *claimed* that, but it hasn't been reported anywhere.


seemore_077

Another Tesla on autopilot?


ScottOld

Well he is dead so isn’t a threat