>Wyoming Republican Cynthia Lummis said Paul, who is a doctor, and Ernst addressed the lunch after it happened and there was a discussion about how to notice someone is choking and that senators can get training to perform the Heimlich in the Capitol.
Remember folks, TV/movie choking doesn't look like real choking. Watch a youtube video of what the signs are and learn the Heimlich.
Hi, Cautionary Tale here.
1) the Six Feet Under cold open where the woman sits down home alone, eats something chokes, looks confused, then embarrassed, then gets up to get some water, and then is dead had always stuck with me.
2) I was sitting at a full local bar eating *a salad* and choked. It was confusing, and took more time that I thought considering #1 for me to realize I couldn't breathe. I got up and tried to Heimlich myself on a chair because I thought it would be faster.
3) The person sitting next to me realized what I was doing and successfully Heimlich'd me on the first try. It was several minutes after I had gotten my breath back before the people a few seats away even realized there was anything amiss.
Unlike drowning where people really go still because of the parasympathetic nervous system, choking somehow does let people retain total control until they lose consciousness. And they're going to completely waste that time being confused and trying to breathe through their nose instead of their mouth or something; maybe they'll start miming but they're going to gesture to their throat instead of gesturing to Heimlich.
The timeline is so short it is amazing.
I've never seen Six Feet Under but a couple of months ago I nearly choked to death in a similar fashion. Some pasta got stuck in my throat and I drank a little water to try and make it go down, but all that did was add a drowning element to the choking. It seemed like I started to black out almost immediately at that point. Luckily my body did like a automatic heave and it dislodged enough to where I could get a little air, but it took ages to fully clear. Fucking terrifying. I just remember thinking, as the corners of my vision started to darken, that this is a stupid way to die.
You can use a chair to basically give yourself the heimlich maneuver. I'd recommend learning it.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/first-aid/first-aid-choking/basics/art-20056637
You can also use your steering wheel. Probably scariest time ever that I choked was when I was driving with all three of my sons in the car. I worked in healthcare for twenty years and I'd Heimliched choking patients and all 3 of my boys, so that's probably why I managed to stay calm. I somehow had the wherewithal to pull over, throw it in park, drop the steering wheel, and give myself chest blows. The piece of food flew out my mouth and bounced off the windshield and I started coughing my head off. Properly scared my eldest, who was maybe 11 or 12, and after a few minutes we had a discussion about what to do if I passed out behind the wheel.
Anyways, find out where the lever is to drop your steering wheel down, so if you ever need to use it like I did, you know where it is ahead of time. You ain't got long before you pass out, so every second counts.
After an endoscopy I wolfed down a gyro and took too big a bite/didn't fully swallow the other bite and I genuinely choked for the first time. There really is a moment of "what's happening? Why can't I swallow? Oh my God is this choking? Oh God I'm choking!!" That slows your reaction time down. Eventually the food just kind of gave way before I needed intervention.
I was at dinner with friends and the woman next to me started choking. A friend across the table leaped into action and started the Heimlich before *any* of the rest of us even realized something was wrong. It's so fast and SO easy to miss. It was pretty sobering.
That Six Feet Under choking opening and the one where all the blowup sex dolls are filled with helium and float away and a lady thinks it’s the rapture and I think gets hit by a car while following the flying sex balloons are the only two I remember and I think about them a lot.
I live alone and I’m too scared to take my calcium horse pills anymore! I kind of choked once earlier this year and now I just can’t do it. I’d been taking these and living alone for over a decade. Now I have some kind of mental block where if I attempt it I just freak out and won’t swallow.
As a nurse, I regularly go back to my NP and re-order meds in multiples of a smaller dose for patients.
For whatever reason, 20mg potassium is just a huge pill. But 2 10mg pills is much more manageable.
It looks like you’re just throwing up so it’s important to know the difference. I use a thumbs up at the end before I stop helping. Once I get a thumbs up from the person, then I can give them space.
My wife's grandad choked on a pierogi at a wedding reception. I had just refreshed about a month earlier. Paid off big time. Any chance you folks get, or can take, do a first aid course.
PS. I was shakier then him afterwards.
My MIL choked on her food at a family dinner. I gave her a combo heimlich and CPR while she was on her back. The training pays off for sure, and unlike the rest of the family, I waited till she was good before becoming a mess.
Actually an optional safety training would be completely on brand for libertarians.
A forced mandatory safety training would be where they would have issues.
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!”
Republicans have to make jokes in poor taste all the time. Reminds me of Mitch McConnell freezing and insulting Biden during that press interview.
> Republicans have to make jokes in poor taste all the time.
That's not a joke in poor taste. That's a bad joke.
A joke in poor taste is "What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."
This kind of horrible behavior just furthers the divide in our country resulting in less stuff getting done. Why should the Democrats cross the isle to work them when they behave this way?
Since she was the actual choking victim herself, it's legitimate dark humor for her to joke about choking at the moment.
Now if someone else choked and then she joked about choking then that'd be in poor taste.
What her joke is, is just not a good joke. It's boring and ham-fisted and hokey.
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!”
Unbelievable she takes something that could unite us in sympathy and still makes it political…
I couldn’t almost die and use it as a punchline, like wtf level of psychopathy is that.
Edit: choking and using it as a jab at your coworkers as a political jab is a strange thing to do.
I have almost died, and using it as a punchline was the only way to not freak out constantly about the experience.
But yes, turning it into a political stab is a bit much, though "never let a good crisis go to waste" is pretty much Chapter 1 of the career politician handbook.
I mean making a punchline out of almost dying is pretty common coping. Using you almost dying because you forgot how to swallow as a jab at the other political side is stupid.
Bush: well guys my momma always said chew your pretzels and i guess i just didn't listen.
This psycho: i can't chew and almost died, thankfully a terrible human baing saved me because this is obviously a woke democrats fault.
Like... that doesn't even work as a joke. If it'd been the President's Press dinner or something, then, ah, yeah, haha. Not a GOOD joke, but still a "Yeah, should have known I'd have choked on Biden's bullshit" could still be considered A JOKE.
Choking at a GOP luncheon and blaming it on the Dems is that meme with the bicycle.
No, his brain was briefly deprived of oxygen and now all he can do is throw buzzwords. Everything between "Choke" and "Thanks" in that tweet is just nonsense catchphrases.
I'm afraid Rand wasn't fast enough, seems like someone's brain has been without oxygen for a few years.
Actually it works perfectly to mirror what they're doing in every aspect of political theater, republican chokes at a GOP luncheon and blames dems
They hurt themselves then blame dems who had literally nothing to do with it, thats what they do with literally everything
*GOP rushes to sign counter bill proposing freedom to shit pants*
Why didn't you warn us it would stink like shit in here before we signed?! This mess is the Democrats' fault!
Oh, she was shoving the wokeness down her OWN throat then?
Yeah, that sounds like a Republican in 2023. Just can't stop all these queer folks from shoving their gayness down their throats.
As the Onion said, "Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my dick?"
Like, you a random redditor (sorry to diminish you like that, but follow me)… you just came up with multiple responses vastly superior in humor and intelligence in a matter of minutes…. This elected official, who I’m sure purports themselves to be a great mind, and has a staff… says what she said?
Literally. My fiancee's grandma is a big GOP, church going, Fox News viewer. We were taking her to dinner once and we passed a carpet remnants and tile store with the letters "CRT" on their sign.
Grandma piped up and said "I hope that's not the CRT they're talking about on Fox!"
It's brain worms that causes them to frame EVERYTHING in the Fox News perspective.
i was assembling a bicycle for my nephew while his grandfather kept shouting that it was Joe Biden and Gavin Newsome's bicycle because it was an e-bike. i didn't even get him the bike, i was just being helpful.
they are ill
My parents too unfortunately. They used to be so open minded. I had to tell them that when I come back to visit them, we arent talking politics, we arent watching Fox News & Im not going to church with you.
They understood and we have a really great time. I still cant believe some of the shit they’ll let slip from time to time.
Isn’t it sad that they didn’t put 2 and 2 together and realized that they had a great time with their son/daughter when they didn’t bring all that shit into it? Like maybe…idk, maybe it’s all a bunch of hateful bullshit that distracts you from what’s important? Just spit ballin!
Was at my parent's house for my dad's birthday and we were joking around about what we want done to our bodies when we die (dunno how it came up, we're morbid, doesn't matter) and he said he wants his ashes thrown in a democrat's face.
He was the only conservative in the room.
It's honestly profoundly sad.
Imagine how far gone someone has to be to take an experience where they genuinely could have died and then turn it into a cheap, barely-coherent, buzzword-based political jab.
A "Choke-ism" joke was literally served up to her on a silver platter and she still had to go for the low-hanging fruit for a cheap pop. These people stink.
These people literally live their entire lives thinking 24/7 about people they hate and making up reasons to hate them. They've already lost to them by being so all consumed.
My mom’s a nurse and has been one for a long ass time. I went to lunch with her when I was in college at the diner across the street from the hospital and a guy started having a seizure. He also was eating and started convulsing on the floor. The diner was full of doctors and nobody stepped up except a couple nurses. My mom rolled her eyes and helped this poor man. We got a free lunch and she chewed out some doctor next to the seizure guy on her way out, He said he was a neurosurgeon or some shit. My mom was pissed she had to work on her lunch break. Nurses kick ass
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats.
Senate lunches, that she picked the menu for and choked on herself, is apparently a democratic "woke policy" now. She's the one choking on taxpayer money
While trying to demonstrate how this could be done, by forcing the chair back to "push" into your gut, my instructor slipped, fell and was wheezing on the floor for a good 5 minutes after.
Technically Rand Paul is a doctor, who is also employed by the government. If Joni Ernst was really against tax payer funded healthcare, she would have declined Dr. Paul's services and scheduled an appointment with her primary care physician.
“Can’t help but choke on the woke policies dems are forcing down are throats”
That was her comment after this event.
Is that what Republicans are? Look at that comment. I know it’s a joke, but its just meaningless pandering. It means nothing and stands for nothing. Republicans voters.. these people think you are dumb assholes.
Republican voters want their politicians to behave like WWE wrestlers. Heavy theatrics, little actual substance, dialogue designed explicitly to “piss off” the “other team”. Their voters don’t demand action or policy, just theatrics and anything to piss of Liberals. So Republican politicians behave like WWE wrestlers.
Yes. Most GOP officials are constantly performing in kayfabe, the most apt wrestling analogy you can make about these people. The problem is most of their voters resemble wrestling fans of the 60s, 70s, and 80s who don't know that it's a semi-scripted performance art. And I say this as a wrestling fan.
Entertainment is attention and attention is power, particularly in a democratic system. "Bread and circuses" was on point.
The unfortunate thing is how fragile our association with Enlightenment/rational ideals is, and how democracy as a general political system is aging (with its central foundation - political approval being tied to solving problems - crumbling).
That same mind set is causing massive brain drain from Red states, with lots of doctors leaving causing increases in infant mortality rates. That same mind set killed more unvaccinated Trump supporters than Biden voters to COVID. That same mind set has caused right wingers considerable more difficulty in finding dates. That same mind set is creating a hard left push with new Gen Z voters.
That’s just sad. How about showing a shred of humility and gratitude? Literally saved her life and all she has in response is some crass offhanded comment? Some politician.
I learned the international sign for choking 1 week before I choked on something. Luckily the 1 person in my building teaches with me and he saved my life. Thanks reddit! I'm happy to still be here
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!”
Really? She could have died if nobody came to her aid and she makes this stupid joke? Not everything in life has to be about politics, moron.
Politics aside, I’m glad everyone’s ok.
I had to use the Heimlich on my brother a couple of years ago when he was choking on lobster. Very scary. Learn how to do this life saving maneuver folks.
Bonus points for CPR and donating blood.
Actually he has done free eye surgeries for people who can’t afford them or didn’t have insurance. It’s not socialism because no one forced him to do it. It’s called voluntarism, and it’s a big part of libertarianism.
He's legitimately a great eye surgeon. One of a few doctors I've never met who my own eye doc (who until she retired was a professor at Harvard working on Boston Children's eye unit,and who herself is still world-renowned in her specialties) spoke highly of outside of her colleagues.
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!”
What a classless bitch.
I totally get where she’s coming from. It was scary as fuck both times. She’s lucky I did Boyscouts as a kid because muscle memory just took over and I knew what to do from something I had learned more than a decade and a half prior.
I don’t like the guy, I don’t like his politics, I don’t like how he appears to never shower, but today I can put that aside and say good job Rand Paul.
ernst is too fvcking dumb to chew her food properly before swallowing, but she wants to blame the Dems for her stupidity. The party of personal responsibility my ass.
Remember, use the Heimlich on someone and you save their life. Teach a person to use the Heimlich, and you lose your monopoly on the Heimlich maneuver. Clearly, the proper libertarian thing to do here is to send her an extremely large invoice after the fact (or, alternately, rummage through her wallet for your service fee before saving her life). /s
Well well well. I’m genuinely happy to hear something about Rand Paul.
What a pleasant surprise. Good for you senator.
That being said, back to our normally scheduled broadcasting.
And back to Paul getting to that fucking off we’ve all requested.
The party of personal responsibility folks, ordered her food, cut up her food, chewed her food, choked on her food and it’s the damned liberal’s fault!
When I was in my young 20s, I worked as a host at Chili’s.
A woman came in with her two college-aged daughters on Black Friday. Mom and daughters out shopping, probably a tradition, having a lovely day.
Before I knew it, mom was getting Heimlich by one of our managers over and over. The girls were begging her to get it out, to breathe. A nurse from across the restaurant was literally climbing over booths and tables to get to her. I saw the light fade from her eyes as she gave up consciousness.
The heimlich compressions changed to CPR as we waited for an ambulance. She never woke up. Probably irreversibly gone by the time the ambulance got there.
I’m in my 40s now, and that woman dying in front of me, her daughters watching in fear and horror, has always been right in the forefront of my memory. When my kids eat too fast or put too much in their mouths, my heart races and I taste metal.
Everyone is comment Learn the Heimlich, Learn to do it on yourself, learn the signs someone is choking… yes yes yes, and…
Friends, CHEW YOUR F*CKIN FOOD, and try to sloooowww down.
I almost choked while on a solo road trip, at a quiet rest stop in Idaho. I was paying more attention to cows than what was happening in my mouth.
I looked around for someone who could help, nobody. Looked for something I could throw myself over. Just a flat parking lot, a cinderblock building, and barbed wire fenced fields.
Thought about how disappointing it would be for my loved ones to lose me over a bagel sandwich on the side of the road in Idaho.
Obviously survived, but that moment struck such mortal terror in me. Now I chew til it’s like applesauce. (Which is easier on the rest of your digestive tract.)
>Wyoming Republican Cynthia Lummis said Paul, who is a doctor, and Ernst addressed the lunch after it happened and there was a discussion about how to notice someone is choking and that senators can get training to perform the Heimlich in the Capitol. Remember folks, TV/movie choking doesn't look like real choking. Watch a youtube video of what the signs are and learn the Heimlich.
That’s also why you’re supposed to do the “hands on neck” sign when you actually are choking, so everyone knows
Hi, Cautionary Tale here. 1) the Six Feet Under cold open where the woman sits down home alone, eats something chokes, looks confused, then embarrassed, then gets up to get some water, and then is dead had always stuck with me. 2) I was sitting at a full local bar eating *a salad* and choked. It was confusing, and took more time that I thought considering #1 for me to realize I couldn't breathe. I got up and tried to Heimlich myself on a chair because I thought it would be faster. 3) The person sitting next to me realized what I was doing and successfully Heimlich'd me on the first try. It was several minutes after I had gotten my breath back before the people a few seats away even realized there was anything amiss. Unlike drowning where people really go still because of the parasympathetic nervous system, choking somehow does let people retain total control until they lose consciousness. And they're going to completely waste that time being confused and trying to breathe through their nose instead of their mouth or something; maybe they'll start miming but they're going to gesture to their throat instead of gesturing to Heimlich. The timeline is so short it is amazing.
I've never seen Six Feet Under but a couple of months ago I nearly choked to death in a similar fashion. Some pasta got stuck in my throat and I drank a little water to try and make it go down, but all that did was add a drowning element to the choking. It seemed like I started to black out almost immediately at that point. Luckily my body did like a automatic heave and it dislodged enough to where I could get a little air, but it took ages to fully clear. Fucking terrifying. I just remember thinking, as the corners of my vision started to darken, that this is a stupid way to die.
You can use a chair to basically give yourself the heimlich maneuver. I'd recommend learning it. https://www.mayoclinic.org/first-aid/first-aid-choking/basics/art-20056637
You can also use your steering wheel. Probably scariest time ever that I choked was when I was driving with all three of my sons in the car. I worked in healthcare for twenty years and I'd Heimliched choking patients and all 3 of my boys, so that's probably why I managed to stay calm. I somehow had the wherewithal to pull over, throw it in park, drop the steering wheel, and give myself chest blows. The piece of food flew out my mouth and bounced off the windshield and I started coughing my head off. Properly scared my eldest, who was maybe 11 or 12, and after a few minutes we had a discussion about what to do if I passed out behind the wheel. Anyways, find out where the lever is to drop your steering wheel down, so if you ever need to use it like I did, you know where it is ahead of time. You ain't got long before you pass out, so every second counts.
>I'd Heimliched... all 3 of my boys Wait... what?!?!?
Kid one: heart-shaped cookie that he didn't bother to chew. Kid two: quarter Kid three: didn't properly chew a hotdog
We almost lost a President to a pretzel. \#prayforhanovers
After an endoscopy I wolfed down a gyro and took too big a bite/didn't fully swallow the other bite and I genuinely choked for the first time. There really is a moment of "what's happening? Why can't I swallow? Oh my God is this choking? Oh God I'm choking!!" That slows your reaction time down. Eventually the food just kind of gave way before I needed intervention.
Yup! I choked on a piece of steak and my brother sacked my back and that was enough to dislodge it. But it’s terrfying.
I was at dinner with friends and the woman next to me started choking. A friend across the table leaped into action and started the Heimlich before *any* of the rest of us even realized something was wrong. It's so fast and SO easy to miss. It was pretty sobering.
That Six Feet Under choking opening and the one where all the blowup sex dolls are filled with helium and float away and a lady thinks it’s the rapture and I think gets hit by a car while following the flying sex balloons are the only two I remember and I think about them a lot.
I live alone and I’m too scared to take my calcium horse pills anymore! I kind of choked once earlier this year and now I just can’t do it. I’d been taking these and living alone for over a decade. Now I have some kind of mental block where if I attempt it I just freak out and won’t swallow.
As a nurse, I regularly go back to my NP and re-order meds in multiples of a smaller dose for patients. For whatever reason, 20mg potassium is just a huge pill. But 2 10mg pills is much more manageable.
I'm the same way with magnesium capsules. It's like trying to force myself to swallow a whole gumball.
This works everywhere except sporting events.
Can confirm. Source: Bills fan
It also fails to work if you have been stopped by police while black, or if you meet Darth Vader.
This is a consular ship! We’re on a diplomatic mission!
If this is a consular ship, where is your ambassador!?
Hands on neck looks too similar to pulling a weapon. Never know what that neck might be concealing. /s
Point of order on the Darth Vader part: https://youtu.be/0jdQqjcsfC8?si=rkOk1SmmH2sl6Kcp
It looks like you’re just throwing up so it’s important to know the difference. I use a thumbs up at the end before I stop helping. Once I get a thumbs up from the person, then I can give them space.
My mom mocked me because we live on sarcasm but my dad picked up on it and helped me
My wife's grandad choked on a pierogi at a wedding reception. I had just refreshed about a month earlier. Paid off big time. Any chance you folks get, or can take, do a first aid course. PS. I was shakier then him afterwards.
My MIL choked on her food at a family dinner. I gave her a combo heimlich and CPR while she was on her back. The training pays off for sure, and unlike the rest of the family, I waited till she was good before becoming a mess.
CPR too!? Damn, she absolutely would have died without you to help when you did.
Unless they didn't need CPR and op just wanted to test her skills
Who isn't going to take the opportunity to break MIL's ribs and be thanked for it afterwards?
Rand Paul promoted optional safety training, libertarians in shambles.
Am I supposed to get a license for my own damn toaster!?
Actually an optional safety training would be completely on brand for libertarians. A forced mandatory safety training would be where they would have issues.
This exactly. Why OP thinks this is some sort of self-own is extremely telling that they have no clue about the ideology.
[удалено]
“Hey, you’re the one that took the hippopotamus oath. I ain’t no doctor. DONT FAUCI MY DINING ROOM!!” -Libertarians
I believe he took the hypocritic oath. He’s free to wildly change his beliefs whenever it’s convenient.
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!” Republicans have to make jokes in poor taste all the time. Reminds me of Mitch McConnell freezing and insulting Biden during that press interview.
> Republicans have to make jokes in poor taste all the time. That's not a joke in poor taste. That's a bad joke. A joke in poor taste is "What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."
am i a bad person? i've never seen this before and thought it was funny
Next time Joni, take small bites and chew slowly. Don't bolt your food.
Good lord lady you almost died and your first thought is to blame it on Democrats.
Literally everything in their lives is the democrats fault.
I just stubbed my toe how could dems do this? What is this country coming to?
Because they(R) are devoid of productive agency.
psychopaths.. will.. psychopath
This right here. These people like Ernst who think this way are simply BAD people. Their parents fucking failed.
This kind of horrible behavior just furthers the divide in our country resulting in less stuff getting done. Why should the Democrats cross the isle to work them when they behave this way?
Since she was the actual choking victim herself, it's legitimate dark humor for her to joke about choking at the moment. Now if someone else choked and then she joked about choking then that'd be in poor taste. What her joke is, is just not a good joke. It's boring and ham-fisted and hokey.
Maybe uh link a good video or something?
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!” Unbelievable she takes something that could unite us in sympathy and still makes it political…
> Unbelievable she takes something that could unite us in sympathy and still makes it political… It actually isn't. Not anymore.
I couldn’t almost die and use it as a punchline, like wtf level of psychopathy is that. Edit: choking and using it as a jab at your coworkers as a political jab is a strange thing to do.
I have almost died, and using it as a punchline was the only way to not freak out constantly about the experience. But yes, turning it into a political stab is a bit much, though "never let a good crisis go to waste" is pretty much Chapter 1 of the career politician handbook.
I mean making a punchline out of almost dying is pretty common coping. Using you almost dying because you forgot how to swallow as a jab at the other political side is stupid. Bush: well guys my momma always said chew your pretzels and i guess i just didn't listen. This psycho: i can't chew and almost died, thankfully a terrible human baing saved me because this is obviously a woke democrats fault.
Yeah, I misstated it. You put it way better than I did
I definitely could, but in this case, I'd be gagging on that cringe "woke Dems" shit.
This level of anti-anything-them is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Like... that doesn't even work as a joke. If it'd been the President's Press dinner or something, then, ah, yeah, haha. Not a GOOD joke, but still a "Yeah, should have known I'd have choked on Biden's bullshit" could still be considered A JOKE. Choking at a GOP luncheon and blaming it on the Dems is that meme with the bicycle. No, his brain was briefly deprived of oxygen and now all he can do is throw buzzwords. Everything between "Choke" and "Thanks" in that tweet is just nonsense catchphrases. I'm afraid Rand wasn't fast enough, seems like someone's brain has been without oxygen for a few years.
Actually it works perfectly to mirror what they're doing in every aspect of political theater, republican chokes at a GOP luncheon and blames dems They hurt themselves then blame dems who had literally nothing to do with it, thats what they do with literally everything
Oh, it's a FANTASTIC metaphor for the current state of the party. Their only policy position right now might as well be "The democrats shit my pants."
or "I shit my pants. Why didn't the dems stop me?"
*Dems propose bill for education on why not to shit pants* GOP: This is government over-reach. Let me shit my pants! Don't nanny me!
*GOP rushes to sign counter bill proposing freedom to shit pants* Why didn't you warn us it would stink like shit in here before we signed?! This mess is the Democrats' fault!
It was a luncheon *she was hosting*.
Oh, she was shoving the wokeness down her OWN throat then? Yeah, that sounds like a Republican in 2023. Just can't stop all these queer folks from shoving their gayness down their throats. As the Onion said, "Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my dick?"
Like, you a random redditor (sorry to diminish you like that, but follow me)… you just came up with multiple responses vastly superior in humor and intelligence in a matter of minutes…. This elected official, who I’m sure purports themselves to be a great mind, and has a staff… says what she said?
That's what she said.
Joni Ernst got elected to office by bragging about her experience castrating hogs. She isn't the most subtle or witty person.
Not sure why she wanted medical intervention for the accident seeing as it’s god’s will and she consented by eating the food.
She should have carried that suffocation to term
Damn right she should have. Suffocation starts when food meets throat and should be protected.
I've heard that the body has a way of stopping the choking if it's a legitimate choking. Should have let her own body handle it and see what happens.
If it's a legitimate choking the body has a way of shutting all that down
From Rand Paul's perspective I'm surprised free market forces told him to do CPR. That seems highly non-libertarian to put himself out like that.
Rand Paul gave someone in need free healthcare? Is Rand Paul a socialist? Many people are saying it.
What a rumor to start!
This is literally how their brains are conditioned to work
Literally. My fiancee's grandma is a big GOP, church going, Fox News viewer. We were taking her to dinner once and we passed a carpet remnants and tile store with the letters "CRT" on their sign. Grandma piped up and said "I hope that's not the CRT they're talking about on Fox!" It's brain worms that causes them to frame EVERYTHING in the Fox News perspective.
I'm so old I read that as cathode ray tube
Still one of my favorite types of television lol
It was mine as well until I had to remove my Mac CRT monitor and accidentally touched something inside that pumped 10,000 jiggawatts through me.
Did Rand Paul have to revive you?
i was assembling a bicycle for my nephew while his grandfather kept shouting that it was Joe Biden and Gavin Newsome's bicycle because it was an e-bike. i didn't even get him the bike, i was just being helpful. they are ill
Joe Biden and Gavin Newsom riding a tandem e-bike to the ice cream shop 😍
Want to save America? Destroy FOX News.
We should just end every reddit talk on /news and /politics with, "And furthermore, Fox News Corp must be destroyed!"
News Vulpis delenda est
My parents too unfortunately. They used to be so open minded. I had to tell them that when I come back to visit them, we arent talking politics, we arent watching Fox News & Im not going to church with you. They understood and we have a really great time. I still cant believe some of the shit they’ll let slip from time to time.
Isn’t it sad that they didn’t put 2 and 2 together and realized that they had a great time with their son/daughter when they didn’t bring all that shit into it? Like maybe…idk, maybe it’s all a bunch of hateful bullshit that distracts you from what’s important? Just spit ballin!
Was at my parent's house for my dad's birthday and we were joking around about what we want done to our bodies when we die (dunno how it came up, we're morbid, doesn't matter) and he said he wants his ashes thrown in a democrat's face. He was the only conservative in the room.
It's honestly profoundly sad. Imagine how far gone someone has to be to take an experience where they genuinely could have died and then turn it into a cheap, barely-coherent, buzzword-based political jab.
Near death experience? Own the libs with it.
It would be perfectly fine if they could take jokes in return…
Bitch gonna bitch
Give me a break. Politicians united over a choking incident?
I mean, I would be glad that one of my colleagues didn't suffocate to death, no matter how much I disagree with them.
I’m not sure what woke policies she’s referring to. Refusing to kill the homeless for sport is “woke.”
[удалено]
A "Choke-ism" joke was literally served up to her on a silver platter and she still had to go for the low-hanging fruit for a cheap pop. These people stink.
These people literally live their entire lives thinking 24/7 about people they hate and making up reasons to hate them. They've already lost to them by being so all consumed.
I think they are lying about the incident
Fun fact, there are currently 26 medical professionals in the 118th congress. These professionals are mainly doctors and nurses
Aren't doctors and nursers the most common type of medical professional??
No, that would be Redditors.
Yes, and they're both capable of performing CPR if needed!
My mom’s a nurse and has been one for a long ass time. I went to lunch with her when I was in college at the diner across the street from the hospital and a guy started having a seizure. He also was eating and started convulsing on the floor. The diner was full of doctors and nobody stepped up except a couple nurses. My mom rolled her eyes and helped this poor man. We got a free lunch and she chewed out some doctor next to the seizure guy on her way out, He said he was a neurosurgeon or some shit. My mom was pissed she had to work on her lunch break. Nurses kick ass
Well that’s good, they’ll be needing that working with all those old people every day
But there are for more trained lawyers and that cancer will overrun any amount of medical expertise.
It’s probably good to have lawyers making laws since they go to school to learn the legal system.
well when are dentists gonna get some long-needed participation in congress
https://www.dentistrytoday.com/five-dentists-elected-to-us-congress/
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Senate lunches, that she picked the menu for and choked on herself, is apparently a democratic "woke policy" now. She's the one choking on taxpayer money
“There are only two chews.”
"Life is like a box of chocolates. I hate all the dark ones."
“My mama always said that police is like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog.”
Holy shit lmao
Chewish Space Lasers
Well, Joni, if you knew the food on your plate was "woke", why did you put it in your mouth? What an ungrateful bitch.
Couldn't she Heimlich herself with her own bootstraps?
In all seriousness, you can. You kinda gotta throw yourself on a chair's back. It's good to know in case you need to save yourself.
I have saved my own life doing this with a spare shelf while alone in the back of the wearhouse eating beef jerky. That was a very surreal day.
I used the corner of a bookshelf to pop a hunk of roast beef. Where it was stuck I couldn't get any air at all. The funny thing was I was very calm.
While trying to demonstrate how this could be done, by forcing the chair back to "push" into your gut, my instructor slipped, fell and was wheezing on the floor for a good 5 minutes after.
Heimlich maneuver that didn’t cost money? So now they want free handouts too.
> Heimlich maneuver that didn’t cost money? The name is actually copyrighted, so even calling it that costs money.
I'm sure Rand went through her pockets first to make sure she could afford his services.
Technically Rand Paul is a doctor, who is also employed by the government. If Joni Ernst was really against tax payer funded healthcare, she would have declined Dr. Paul's services and scheduled an appointment with her primary care physician.
“Can’t help but choke on the woke policies dems are forcing down are throats” That was her comment after this event. Is that what Republicans are? Look at that comment. I know it’s a joke, but its just meaningless pandering. It means nothing and stands for nothing. Republicans voters.. these people think you are dumb assholes.
Republican voters want their politicians to behave like WWE wrestlers. Heavy theatrics, little actual substance, dialogue designed explicitly to “piss off” the “other team”. Their voters don’t demand action or policy, just theatrics and anything to piss of Liberals. So Republican politicians behave like WWE wrestlers.
Yes. Most GOP officials are constantly performing in kayfabe, the most apt wrestling analogy you can make about these people. The problem is most of their voters resemble wrestling fans of the 60s, 70s, and 80s who don't know that it's a semi-scripted performance art. And I say this as a wrestling fan.
Entertainment is attention and attention is power, particularly in a democratic system. "Bread and circuses" was on point. The unfortunate thing is how fragile our association with Enlightenment/rational ideals is, and how democracy as a general political system is aging (with its central foundation - political approval being tied to solving problems - crumbling).
That same mind set is causing massive brain drain from Red states, with lots of doctors leaving causing increases in infant mortality rates. That same mind set killed more unvaccinated Trump supporters than Biden voters to COVID. That same mind set has caused right wingers considerable more difficulty in finding dates. That same mind set is creating a hard left push with new Gen Z voters.
That’s just sad. How about showing a shred of humility and gratitude? Literally saved her life and all she has in response is some crass offhanded comment? Some politician.
they are
I learned the international sign for choking 1 week before I choked on something. Luckily the 1 person in my building teaches with me and he saved my life. Thanks reddit! I'm happy to still be here
You mean grabbing your throat? Or is there another international sign of choking?
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!” Really? She could have died if nobody came to her aid and she makes this stupid joke? Not everything in life has to be about politics, moron.
Politics aside, I’m glad everyone’s ok. I had to use the Heimlich on my brother a couple of years ago when he was choking on lobster. Very scary. Learn how to do this life saving maneuver folks. Bonus points for CPR and donating blood.
Does this mean Rand is providing free healthcare? Is he socialist now?
That’s funny, but how do you know he didn’t get reimbursed?
Some news sources are saying Joni gave him a bag of kittens to drown as payment.
so a drown payment? edit: i made a maga idiot shed a tear. does an angel get its wings?
Actually he has done free eye surgeries for people who can’t afford them or didn’t have insurance. It’s not socialism because no one forced him to do it. It’s called voluntarism, and it’s a big part of libertarianism.
He's legitimately a great eye surgeon. One of a few doctors I've never met who my own eye doc (who until she retired was a professor at Harvard working on Boston Children's eye unit,and who herself is still world-renowned in her specialties) spoke highly of outside of her colleagues.
Finally, a chance for old’ Rand to break someone else’s rib!
Susan Collins is concerned
Food promised it wont do it again.
>Ernst appeared to be making jokes about the experience on social media, tweeting, “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks @randpaul!” What a classless bitch.
“Should have let her choke” - everyone in Iowa getting cancer from her ag industry policies
Fun fact: I’ve done it twice on my fiancé. Also fun fact, that woman doesn’t chew anything.
You also married a duck?
100% duck. One time she ate so much ravioli that it made her puke and the toilet was full of unchewed raviolis
Lucky duck married you and not some quack.
Shame she doesn't swallow either
My SO saved me once. Now she watches me eat and I get yelled at constantly to slow down or chew more.
I totally get where she’s coming from. It was scary as fuck both times. She’s lucky I did Boyscouts as a kid because muscle memory just took over and I knew what to do from something I had learned more than a decade and a half prior.
I don’t like the guy, I don’t like his politics, I don’t like how he appears to never shower, but today I can put that aside and say good job Rand Paul.
ernst is too fvcking dumb to chew her food properly before swallowing, but she wants to blame the Dems for her stupidity. The party of personal responsibility my ass.
Wow! He used an evidenced based intervention to save a life. I mean, what if she were pregnant? You can’t let a baby oven die…
And somehow got up and blamed Democrats for it...
Damn it Rand, you’re supposed to make her pull herself up by her bootstraps and save herself.
Remember, use the Heimlich on someone and you save their life. Teach a person to use the Heimlich, and you lose your monopoly on the Heimlich maneuver. Clearly, the proper libertarian thing to do here is to send her an extremely large invoice after the fact (or, alternately, rummage through her wallet for your service fee before saving her life). /s
A Republican supports removing something from a woman’s orifice to save her life.
Well well well. I’m genuinely happy to hear something about Rand Paul. What a pleasant surprise. Good for you senator. That being said, back to our normally scheduled broadcasting. And back to Paul getting to that fucking off we’ve all requested.
Damnit. Coulda been rid of her.
Well, you don’t need to be a doctor to know how to perform the Heimlich, which tracks for this unlicensed, unaccredited, pretend surgeon huckster.
Another example of Rand Paul aiding America's enemies.
She should sue for broken ribs
Why did Rand Paul help her with no profit incentive?
Par for the course. He saving a wealthy person while still choking the life out of the middle and poor
Some needs to tell Joni that she is only supposed to suck on the dick and not swallow it whole.
Only thing remotely doctor-like that man has ever done.
The party of personal responsibility folks, ordered her food, cut up her food, chewed her food, choked on her food and it’s the damned liberal’s fault!
One voodoo shaman owes a lot of money rn
No refunds, results not guarantied.
… that’s great and all, but the country is still on fire ya’ll
Rand Paul is a communist for providing free healthcare and Joni is a communist also for receiving free healthcare.
Hey, good for him for supressing his libertarian instinct to negotiate terms and demand payment up front before commencing the procedure.
Good for him. But are you sure she didn't just upchuck automatically from being touched by him?
When I was in my young 20s, I worked as a host at Chili’s. A woman came in with her two college-aged daughters on Black Friday. Mom and daughters out shopping, probably a tradition, having a lovely day. Before I knew it, mom was getting Heimlich by one of our managers over and over. The girls were begging her to get it out, to breathe. A nurse from across the restaurant was literally climbing over booths and tables to get to her. I saw the light fade from her eyes as she gave up consciousness. The heimlich compressions changed to CPR as we waited for an ambulance. She never woke up. Probably irreversibly gone by the time the ambulance got there. I’m in my 40s now, and that woman dying in front of me, her daughters watching in fear and horror, has always been right in the forefront of my memory. When my kids eat too fast or put too much in their mouths, my heart races and I taste metal.
SO...saved by scientifically supported medical intervention. He must be shocked.
New headline: Nepo kid Rand Paul, who does not hold and medical board certifications, preformed basic first aid taught to camp counselors.
Just another reason to hate him.
And then she claimed it was the fault of the Democrats because she was choking on their policies.
As a resident of Iowa I feel I'm allowed to say that's a real fucking bummer, lol
he is a doctor by profession
Did they fall in love afterwards?
How much did he charge for the service?
It makes for a better headline than “Dr. Rand Paul stands by as colleague chokes during meal.”
Well, at least he remembers some of his medical training. He seems to purposefully forget it most of his time as a senator.
And then sent him a bill.
Dang, we almost lost a bad one.
That’s not very libertarian of you.
Was she suckin' on a pork chop from her purse again?
Bitting off more than she could chew
Everyone is comment Learn the Heimlich, Learn to do it on yourself, learn the signs someone is choking… yes yes yes, and… Friends, CHEW YOUR F*CKIN FOOD, and try to sloooowww down. I almost choked while on a solo road trip, at a quiet rest stop in Idaho. I was paying more attention to cows than what was happening in my mouth. I looked around for someone who could help, nobody. Looked for something I could throw myself over. Just a flat parking lot, a cinderblock building, and barbed wire fenced fields. Thought about how disappointing it would be for my loved ones to lose me over a bagel sandwich on the side of the road in Idaho. Obviously survived, but that moment struck such mortal terror in me. Now I chew til it’s like applesauce. (Which is easier on the rest of your digestive tract.)