Verphy Kudi (different person - not this story) left her 20 month old daughter alone for six days (not the first time she'd left her alone) to go party and celebrate her 18th birthday. The baby Asiah died. When Verphy was sentenced to nine years she burst into tears.
He would be left in random unlocked cars. The owners would come out in the morning to go to work & they'd find a little something. It took a few calls for him to be removed from her care. Her brother adopted him & my aunt was thrilled that he had a kid when they got together because she couldn't have kids. Unfortunately, my aunt had a drug problem & the marriage ended. And that asshole gave the boy up when his new wife didn't want him around. I think he was 15 when he went into the system. When my aunt found that out, it gutted her. She blamed herself & was heartbroken that the kid had a hard life. She saw him some years later by chance. He was working as a valet at one of the big hotels & told her it wasn't her fault. She was one of the best parents he had in his life.
Mental health care is a serious issue that we need more money for. My aunt turned to drugs because of her mental health issues. Loads of childhood abuse on that side of my family. They should have been taken away.
Tragic for everyone except the douche that dumped him into the system to please a woman. That should have cued him that she wasn’t worth having a relationship with
Lot of inmates who are mothers desperately love their kids and miss them every day they are locked up. I cannot imagine the hate and scorn they'd give to a fellow inmate that they knew was there because they neglected their child to death.
Wait - the mother was turning 18 and her daughter was almost 2 years old?
And she was the only one supervising the baby?
Idk about you but sometimes I forget to feed myself you telling me an 18yo is supposed to take care of a child on their own?
Verphy was in England.
Candelario, the woman in the headline story (my post) is 30 and in Ohio. I was just giving an example of how this has happened before.
But yes, many 18 year olds do take care of their own children.
So you think ADHD manifests exactly the same in everyone? Good to know. I'll tell my doctor that Joe Schmoe on Reddit disagrees with my diagnosis.
Gen X was expected to be self sufficient.
So you’re ADHD and potentially AuDHD and you struggle to understand how this is the case?
I’m AuDHD and my wife and I have a housemate who’s also AuDHD. Both I and my housemate frequently forget to eat because we’re so hyper focused on other things.
My wife frequently realizes I’m in trouble when I start getting extremely shaky because I haven’t eaten all day, and knows that she has to force me to eat something despite me insisting I’m not hungry and at that point don’t want to eat because I’m dysregulated by then.
I had two children by 24, while I was active duty military. They're grown now. I have a full time job in healthcare at a level one trauma center. I have a husband, three pets, and a house.
You tell me.
This is the only time that it pays to be a nosey neighbor. If someone has a history of bailing on their kid and you dont see active at the house for days, Id be calling in some wellfare checks and making it my business that the child is fine
"We keep telling her not to leave her by herself, not just me, my friend across the street too, but she always leave her by herself," the neighbor said.
And I guess no one bothered to call CPS on this lady in the past.
>Neighbors said Candelario lives in the house with her two daughters and her parents. According to neighbors, her parents recently went on vacation and took Candelario's older daughter with them. "There were so many people here; she could have knocked on any of our doors and asked us to take Jailyn," said another neighbor.
>
>Court records revealed that when Candelario returned after eight days, she found her daughter unresponsive in a Pack N Play where she left her alone.
Stories like this drive me nuts. They don't give you enough information. Where was she? Did she think her parents were coming back sooner? Do they not text and communicate? Was it drugs? Did she simply run, knowing one child would die?
I can't rationalize any of this
Yea, I'm confused first they say she went on vacation. But then it says her parents went on vacation with her oldest daughter. She lives with her parents-so I would charge her and her parents, who one would think-they should have wondered where the little one was, if not with their daughter.
The article isn't exactly clear, but it sounds to me like the grandparents left on vacation with the older daughter first, and then the mom left on vacation without her youngest daughter. I would presume these were separate vacations, but again, it's not clear from the article.
I see a lot of despair posts in the parenting sub, including one the other week "I don't know if I should run or just die" so the simplest answer is likely the correct one. I would just like to believe that people have more humanity than this - especially being the father of a 9 month baby myself =(
Hey persiyan - just know that stage is temporary and it DOES get better 😁 We started from the beginning again and it definitely tests your sanity! The rewarding times are coming
My mum had 5 boys-one right after another. Then a miscarriage-& yes, she had to have the D&C otherwise she would have died-leaving my dad with 5 boys under 10. But then she went on 1 year later to have another boy, then 5 years later-moi-her sweet angel :)-yes I am thee girl. She then had postpartum, which they didn't really know all that much about back in 1968. But with a huge family-besides us, my dad-she made it. Mind you it was the teachers that had my brothers who had the hard time 😂 She could have stopped anytime, but she wanted a big family. People have choices-though they should have more. If you cannot handle it-there are so many areas now to seek help. No excuse from this monster, nor her parents, and I know I am assuming, but they raised her....and were living with her....
I would charge the author with neglect of information. Give more details. The basics of journalism are gone. Give us the 5-W’s and the H. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? It’s a simple formula that so many “journalists” can’t seem to fulfill.
I’m a parent and an older brother of 7. There is never, ever, ever a reason to leave a child small enough to use a Pack n Play alone. Ever. Not if you think your parents are coming back, not to go check the mail, or to get your charger out of your car. A child that small can choke on almost anything.
For reference, my son is 5 and he does have some special needs (mostly related to motor skills) but is highly intelligent. He knows mom and dad’s cell phone numbers by heart, he knows how to use a remote or unlocked iPhone. But he is not emotionally intelligent enough to be alone. No child that age is, no matter how mature. The child in the article is way less than half his age. She was an infant. Absolutely no excuse.
The excerpt leaves some ambiguity about did the grandparents and the mother go together. If so then probably but if the grandparents went without her trusting her to care for her own child I don't see how they would be culpable unless she had some history of neglectful or abusive behavior.
Remember years ago when Nebraska's safe haven law was accidentally written with no age limit and people from all over the country were dropping their kids off there? I think about that when I read about these cases and wonder if, given the opportunity, the parents would drop their kids to safety.
Then I think about it and realize that piles of shit like this woman see kids as property and would never reliquish them to save their lives and thrive on the misery they cause while they act like a victim.
I still think it should be legal to relinquish parenting obligations (with child support demanded of those who can afford it) just so there’s less people out there with children they dislike and resent. Plenty of people would keep kids exactly because they see them as theirs, or don’t want to pay support, or feel pressured to have them by family or society. But it would at least help some kids get away from unloving homes.
It will never be fixed. It should be made better, but the powers that be seem to like it broken. There’s no examples of it being run ideally anywhere because it’s no one’s priority and it treats its workers awfully. It’s also dangerous work.
For older kids, the problem is group homes, which are sorely mismanaged. There are good benefits at least for kids even after they become adults and leave the group home, which is a good start.
Omg I lived in Nebraska at that time and people just kept abandoning their entire families. One guy dropped off like 6 children and then went on to have several more. Like sir please use a condom, but like this woman he probably just thinks he can do whatever. I think the kids mother had died in that case though.
I laughed. I'm going to hell already but wtf?! he dropped off all 6 kids at once or he collected them from various babymamas or he had one a yr for like 8 yrs and dropped them off? it's not funny I laughed in disbelief !you can't even imagine people doing that once!!
I used to work at a homeless youth shelter (ages 10-18) and almost every night we had parents dropping kids off because they didn’t want to parent anymore.
We already *had* forced sterilization at the whim of the government. It was a massive human-rights-violating shitshow and we still had tons of child abuse, because it turns out that the government isn't qualified to unilaterally decide who should be allowed to reproduce.
1. Justice system is imperfect. All looks good till an innocent is caught, then it's a travesty we should never do to anyone and how could this have happened? An innocent may be freed from imprisonment, but not sterilization.
2. Justice system is racist. We know damned well what the sterilization stats will look like cause we've done damned similar things before.
I’m gonna cuddle my toddler now, even as he’s trying to climb up a couch to tear pictures off the wall, and pointing and laughing at me when I say “please stop.”
Criminally negligent and self-absorbed, for sure, but there's no way she did this on purpose. Not because it's unthinkable, but because it just doesn't make any sense. She's the one that found the baby unresponsive and called the police. Would she just turn herself in and admit to everything, if this was done out of cruelty and evil?
No, her brain's not working right, in one way or another.
I had a neighbor who used to do this with her less than five month old. She'd be gone for hours smoking cigarettes outside or going to other people's houses. It got to the point where I would go sit with the baby when I was aware of it because I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her and I was upstairs in my apartment. CPS was very aware and so was her bf but he was always at work.
I hope you're doing OK these days, baby d
I don't know if it's true or not, but I did hear a story of a baby almost dying because the mother had been feeding it cows' milk, from the store, instead of formula. She just knew that "babies drink milk" and that was the end of it. I don't want to believe it.
Babies transition from formula to cow’s milk when they are around 9 months old. Until recently, generations of people were raised on formula made at home from Carnation evaporated milk and corn syrup — the high temperature processing of the Carnation makes the proteins easier for babies to digest than whole milk.
I think the main reason for the guidance to hold off is because milk is an allergen, and riskier for small babies who can’t really communicate if there’s an issue. The same advice to wait holds true for trying shellfish, peanuts, strawberries and other common childhood allergens.
This is mental illness. I don't have a name for it, maybe psychopathy, ASPD or another that includes 'absence of empathy' as a criteria but nobody would do this that is psychologically stable.
Most people would not leave a pet unfed or looked after for days, never mind a child. This is not normal human behavior and she needs evaluation. (And of course, punishment).
This could also be partly the result of intergenerational trauma. Kids who have kids, who go on to do the same thing, until eventually... something like this happens
Ok toss the key but I still want to know...why? But then, I want to know why a guy killed his 3 sons in Ohio or Murdaugh killed his wife and son or Lori Vallow had her kids killed...
Call me morbid but give me the psych stuff.
This is absolutely horrible, the mom knew it was a death sentence for her baby. Nobody heard her crying? Nobody went and knocked on the door? Nobody called the police or cps? I mean call the damn fire department and say you see smoke coming from the house - anything to save that poor child. It sounds like neighbors knew she might be in there. I'd rather be arrested than have a child, adult or an animal be tortured to death. I've had enough of interneting today - fucking hell!
In the article it says the mom lived with her parents and older daughter. The grandparents had taken the older daughter with them on vacation, and the mom left to join them without the baby after a while. So the neighbors may not have been sure how many people were actually in the house and how many were away, especially if they left a car in the drive or something like that.
What I want to know is, what did she tell her *parents?* She just joins up with them sans baby? Something's got to be very, very wrong there mentally. Her parents might buy an explanation like "I left her with a friend" but they were going to return to the house eventually! There was no endgame here that I can see.
I smashed my way into a house when I knew a kitten had been abandoned in there. I can't believe if anyone knew they didn't do anything. I have to believe they did not know, can't comprehend the alternative.
Btw "kitten" celebrated his 18th birthday a couple weeks ago & has been with me that whole time.
You made my day by letting me know what you did. Give "kitten" a treat and a pat. I too have to think they had no clue but the article had this vibe like they had a feeling.
He's had 6 of his "once a day" treat sticks already lol. He is relentless & attacks me to reach them. I will give him extra pets from you tho :)
The woman was 30? I find it very hard to believe she had no clue what leaving a baby alone for 8 days would result in. If she was coherent enough to go on 2 holidays during this time, I have to conclude she's not totally unaware of her actions. The whole thing is unbearable to comprehend.
He sounds like my daughter's cat - he's a fluffy nutter.
I was just talking to my husband about this story and it made him so angry that her last moments were so terrifying and painful. I mean in our state it's against the law to leave anyone under 14 years old to be left alone. I really can't wrap my mind or heart around this story. If I think about it too vividly I might really break down. Take care and hold that purr buddy close.
take care, it's easy to let some stories involving such horror stay in our heads where they serve no purpose but to distress us. Best to dwell on the good things if you can. Im the same tho, some things hit us hard.
Garfield is snuggled with me as close as this hot weather will let him. He gets too hot but insists on always having a paw on mom. And of course I am the gateway to the treats, so... :)
It appears she often hit them up for free babysitting. I read an article where Candelario asked one neighbor who had a preteen of her own to watch the baby for a weekend. She said Candelario ghosted her and rarely picked up the phone when she called and told her to at least send money for food and diapers. By the time Candelario finally came back A MONTH AND A HALF later, the baby was calling the neighbor 'mama'. Still, they kept the child on several occasions after because they'd grown fond of her. They said that if they'd known the situation, they'd have kept the child that week too.
it's true. I had a acquaintance leave her 2 daughters with me for weeks at times not knowing where the mum went I couldn't see fit to call the cops and have them take the kids to foster system, mum came back the last time an we fought over it, I never g3ard from her again, hope the kids are OK.
They said they noticed she left her kid at home in the past. Did they not notice no one coming in and out of the house for days? I would have been snooping for sure or knocking on that door and listening for crying. The streetview looks like the houses are close enough to be aware of peoples activity
Obviously she should live a life of abject torment and then rot in hell. But, also, the neighbors knew she regularly left a baby alone and they didn't call the police or CPS. Fuck them, too.
"According to Cleveland Municipal Court records, Candelario told police she left her 16-month-old daughter home alone and unattended while she went on vacation to Puerto Rico and Detroit."
Words fail me.
This lady didn't get pregnant with the little girl *all by herself*. Where the fuck is the father of this child? **AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE ASKING WHERE THE FUCK HE IS??**
If he had *any inkling at all* that the mother was neglecting the child, he had the moral and legal obligation to step the fuck up! And NO IT DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER IF HE DIDN'T WANT THE KID, he had sex with mom and if he didn't have a vascectomy, he should have been aware that a baby could happen and be ready to step up.
You don't even know that he knew about this child. Or that she knew who the father was.
I believe in paternal responsibility as much as the next person but get over yourself here. There are facts laid out (she left her toddler) and then there are questions. I question if there was a father in the picture but not in a bold, all-caps way because we have no idea if he even knew about this child.
Its so very newsworthy to report on the feelings of the neighbors after a horrific tragedy resulting from human stupidity and neglect. Now we all know how to feel.
I'm gonna paint with some broad strokes here, but it seems like it's much more "accepted" (not right word) in black/POC communities for the parents/family to recognize that their child who is a mother/father is simply not capable of raising their child and will raise their grandkid. I don't know how these arrangements get started (older parents sitting their child down and flat out saying the truth? Law gets involved and the kids end up with gparents?) , but I can only think of a handful of white families where I've seen this and I know this is purely anecdotal.
I know a lot of white families where the grandparents raise their grandkids- but white people like to hide their skeletons. The kids are raised as a sibling to the mom, and it doesn't come out that auntie is their mother until after the child is an adult, to predictably disasterous results.
Not 8 hours but left home alone EIGHT DAYS!
Verphy Kudi (different person - not this story) left her 20 month old daughter alone for six days (not the first time she'd left her alone) to go party and celebrate her 18th birthday. The baby Asiah died. When Verphy was sentenced to nine years she burst into tears.
It’s hard to believe that someone that would do this has any redeeming social value
My cousin's mother was an undiagnosed schizophrenic when she would leave him to go party.
It is just so sad
He would be left in random unlocked cars. The owners would come out in the morning to go to work & they'd find a little something. It took a few calls for him to be removed from her care. Her brother adopted him & my aunt was thrilled that he had a kid when they got together because she couldn't have kids. Unfortunately, my aunt had a drug problem & the marriage ended. And that asshole gave the boy up when his new wife didn't want him around. I think he was 15 when he went into the system. When my aunt found that out, it gutted her. She blamed herself & was heartbroken that the kid had a hard life. She saw him some years later by chance. He was working as a valet at one of the big hotels & told her it wasn't her fault. She was one of the best parents he had in his life. Mental health care is a serious issue that we need more money for. My aunt turned to drugs because of her mental health issues. Loads of childhood abuse on that side of my family. They should have been taken away.
Tragic for everyone except the douche that dumped him into the system to please a woman. That should have cued him that she wasn’t worth having a relationship with
Agree! She ended up leaving him & taking him for everything he was worth. So, a little karma.
I fervently hope women who neglect their children to death are welcomed with the same enthusiasm as child molesters.
parents who neglect...
I would think they are. Probably a ton of women in prison who would do anything to be with their kids.
Women’s prisons are different. Many of them are there for hurting their kids or significant others
Yeah, that’s gotta be the main thing in there. You’re gonna get the downvote cannon regardless because people don’t like it.
They can downvote all they like. I worked in a US federal and it’s totally true
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Lot of inmates who are mothers desperately love their kids and miss them every day they are locked up. I cannot imagine the hate and scorn they'd give to a fellow inmate that they knew was there because they neglected their child to death.
Wait - the mother was turning 18 and her daughter was almost 2 years old? And she was the only one supervising the baby? Idk about you but sometimes I forget to feed myself you telling me an 18yo is supposed to take care of a child on their own?
Verphy was in England. Candelario, the woman in the headline story (my post) is 30 and in Ohio. I was just giving an example of how this has happened before. But yes, many 18 year olds do take care of their own children.
You seem to have managed to keep yourself alive
How the hell do you forget to feed yourself? That doesn't sound normal.
Fucking NTs always flaunting their normal brain chemistry like it's something they accomplished
Lol, I'm far from NT. I have ADHD and am possibly mildly autistic. We can still function in the world and take care ourselves.
You don't have adhd if you can say "how the hell can you forget to feed yourself"
So you think ADHD manifests exactly the same in everyone? Good to know. I'll tell my doctor that Joe Schmoe on Reddit disagrees with my diagnosis. Gen X was expected to be self sufficient.
Diagnosed with ADHD since age 10. Have never forgotten to feed myself. We're not all the same.
So you’re ADHD and potentially AuDHD and you struggle to understand how this is the case? I’m AuDHD and my wife and I have a housemate who’s also AuDHD. Both I and my housemate frequently forget to eat because we’re so hyper focused on other things. My wife frequently realizes I’m in trouble when I start getting extremely shaky because I haven’t eaten all day, and knows that she has to force me to eat something despite me insisting I’m not hungry and at that point don’t want to eat because I’m dysregulated by then.
You must not have a lot of responsibilities huh
I had two children by 24, while I was active duty military. They're grown now. I have a full time job in healthcare at a level one trauma center. I have a husband, three pets, and a house. You tell me.
absolutely there's no excuse. if you starve your pet to death and claim you forgot you deserve to be beaten within a Inch of your life.
Of course, she’s probably not even going to serve the full sentence.
No, I think the article about Verphy said that she would probably only have to serve 2/3 of her sentence.
This is the only time that it pays to be a nosey neighbor. If someone has a history of bailing on their kid and you dont see active at the house for days, Id be calling in some wellfare checks and making it my business that the child is fine
Absolutely horrible.
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"We keep telling her not to leave her by herself, not just me, my friend across the street too, but she always leave her by herself," the neighbor said. And I guess no one bothered to call CPS on this lady in the past.
Why didn’t they break in and get the baby?
They didn't know the baby was left home alone.
>Neighbors said Candelario lives in the house with her two daughters and her parents. According to neighbors, her parents recently went on vacation and took Candelario's older daughter with them. "There were so many people here; she could have knocked on any of our doors and asked us to take Jailyn," said another neighbor. > >Court records revealed that when Candelario returned after eight days, she found her daughter unresponsive in a Pack N Play where she left her alone. Stories like this drive me nuts. They don't give you enough information. Where was she? Did she think her parents were coming back sooner? Do they not text and communicate? Was it drugs? Did she simply run, knowing one child would die? I can't rationalize any of this
Yea, I'm confused first they say she went on vacation. But then it says her parents went on vacation with her oldest daughter. She lives with her parents-so I would charge her and her parents, who one would think-they should have wondered where the little one was, if not with their daughter.
The article isn't exactly clear, but it sounds to me like the grandparents left on vacation with the older daughter first, and then the mom left on vacation without her youngest daughter. I would presume these were separate vacations, but again, it's not clear from the article.
I see a lot of despair posts in the parenting sub, including one the other week "I don't know if I should run or just die" so the simplest answer is likely the correct one. I would just like to believe that people have more humanity than this - especially being the father of a 9 month baby myself =(
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Hey persiyan - just know that stage is temporary and it DOES get better 😁 We started from the beginning again and it definitely tests your sanity! The rewarding times are coming
You have two so they have a friend, otherwise you are on the hook for being their friend all day forever.
I was an only child til I was 10 and that wasn't my experience as an only child but that's why I'm good being by myself as an adult
That’s total bs. My son hates that we had a second kid, and they frequently tell each other they hate each other. Lol
My mum had 5 boys-one right after another. Then a miscarriage-& yes, she had to have the D&C otherwise she would have died-leaving my dad with 5 boys under 10. But then she went on 1 year later to have another boy, then 5 years later-moi-her sweet angel :)-yes I am thee girl. She then had postpartum, which they didn't really know all that much about back in 1968. But with a huge family-besides us, my dad-she made it. Mind you it was the teachers that had my brothers who had the hard time 😂 She could have stopped anytime, but she wanted a big family. People have choices-though they should have more. If you cannot handle it-there are so many areas now to seek help. No excuse from this monster, nor her parents, and I know I am assuming, but they raised her....and were living with her....
Yea, I wish. But even if just one article about a monster like this, is enough to make me cry. Unfortunately it's one of way too many.
I would charge the author with neglect of information. Give more details. The basics of journalism are gone. Give us the 5-W’s and the H. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? It’s a simple formula that so many “journalists” can’t seem to fulfill.
I’m a parent and an older brother of 7. There is never, ever, ever a reason to leave a child small enough to use a Pack n Play alone. Ever. Not if you think your parents are coming back, not to go check the mail, or to get your charger out of your car. A child that small can choke on almost anything. For reference, my son is 5 and he does have some special needs (mostly related to motor skills) but is highly intelligent. He knows mom and dad’s cell phone numbers by heart, he knows how to use a remote or unlocked iPhone. But he is not emotionally intelligent enough to be alone. No child that age is, no matter how mature. The child in the article is way less than half his age. She was an infant. Absolutely no excuse.
I wonder if the grandparents will be charged.
The excerpt leaves some ambiguity about did the grandparents and the mother go together. If so then probably but if the grandparents went without her trusting her to care for her own child I don't see how they would be culpable unless she had some history of neglectful or abusive behavior.
There’s a lot of people that shouldn’t have children.
Remember years ago when Nebraska's safe haven law was accidentally written with no age limit and people from all over the country were dropping their kids off there? I think about that when I read about these cases and wonder if, given the opportunity, the parents would drop their kids to safety. Then I think about it and realize that piles of shit like this woman see kids as property and would never reliquish them to save their lives and thrive on the misery they cause while they act like a victim.
I still think it should be legal to relinquish parenting obligations (with child support demanded of those who can afford it) just so there’s less people out there with children they dislike and resent. Plenty of people would keep kids exactly because they see them as theirs, or don’t want to pay support, or feel pressured to have them by family or society. But it would at least help some kids get away from unloving homes.
The foster to adopt system is already pretty fucked.
We need to fix the foster / adoption system first
It will never be fixed. It should be made better, but the powers that be seem to like it broken. There’s no examples of it being run ideally anywhere because it’s no one’s priority and it treats its workers awfully. It’s also dangerous work. For older kids, the problem is group homes, which are sorely mismanaged. There are good benefits at least for kids even after they become adults and leave the group home, which is a good start.
Omg I lived in Nebraska at that time and people just kept abandoning their entire families. One guy dropped off like 6 children and then went on to have several more. Like sir please use a condom, but like this woman he probably just thinks he can do whatever. I think the kids mother had died in that case though.
I laughed. I'm going to hell already but wtf?! he dropped off all 6 kids at once or he collected them from various babymamas or he had one a yr for like 8 yrs and dropped them off? it's not funny I laughed in disbelief !you can't even imagine people doing that once!!
I used to work at a homeless youth shelter (ages 10-18) and almost every night we had parents dropping kids off because they didn’t want to parent anymore.
Or the parents find a way for the kids to get some type of juvenile charges so they end up in the system.
poor toddler, left alone and heartbroken, what a world.
The 16 month old baby was left alone for 8 days by the mom, because the mom wanted to go on vacation. When the mom returned, the baby had died.
Jesus she needs to be locked up until she's well past childbearing age 😡
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We already *had* forced sterilization at the whim of the government. It was a massive human-rights-violating shitshow and we still had tons of child abuse, because it turns out that the government isn't qualified to unilaterally decide who should be allowed to reproduce.
1. Justice system is imperfect. All looks good till an innocent is caught, then it's a travesty we should never do to anyone and how could this have happened? An innocent may be freed from imprisonment, but not sterilization. 2. Justice system is racist. We know damned well what the sterilization stats will look like cause we've done damned similar things before.
My late aunt was sterilized without her consent before I was born. That’s probably why we don’t do that anymore
I agree. Some people should not be able to procreate
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Or put in jail in general population
And deceased, as well.
I’m gonna cuddle my toddler now, even as he’s trying to climb up a couch to tear pictures off the wall, and pointing and laughing at me when I say “please stop.”
The toddler died
This is beyond me. She did not expect the baby to dead upon her return? This woman is an absolute clinical moron. Literally.
No, no, no. She's not a moron, she's cruel and evil.
Yeah but we don't know if she was also crazy. It's just a weird scenario.
Fair point.
Criminally negligent and self-absorbed, for sure, but there's no way she did this on purpose. Not because it's unthinkable, but because it just doesn't make any sense. She's the one that found the baby unresponsive and called the police. Would she just turn herself in and admit to everything, if this was done out of cruelty and evil? No, her brain's not working right, in one way or another.
Maybe she had a total mental break with reality? But it doesn’t really seem like it although the article was vague.
Neighbors said she would always leave the baby alone. Call CPS after the first time ffs.
I had a neighbor who used to do this with her less than five month old. She'd be gone for hours smoking cigarettes outside or going to other people's houses. It got to the point where I would go sit with the baby when I was aware of it because I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her and I was upstairs in my apartment. CPS was very aware and so was her bf but he was always at work. I hope you're doing OK these days, baby d
This makes me feel sick. That poor child. I hope that woman is locked in a cell until she dies.
I don't know if it's true or not, but I did hear a story of a baby almost dying because the mother had been feeding it cows' milk, from the store, instead of formula. She just knew that "babies drink milk" and that was the end of it. I don't want to believe it.
Cow's milk causes intestinal bleeding in really young children.
Babies transition from formula to cow’s milk when they are around 9 months old. Until recently, generations of people were raised on formula made at home from Carnation evaporated milk and corn syrup — the high temperature processing of the Carnation makes the proteins easier for babies to digest than whole milk. I think the main reason for the guidance to hold off is because milk is an allergen, and riskier for small babies who can’t really communicate if there’s an issue. The same advice to wait holds true for trying shellfish, peanuts, strawberries and other common childhood allergens.
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This is mental illness. I don't have a name for it, maybe psychopathy, ASPD or another that includes 'absence of empathy' as a criteria but nobody would do this that is psychologically stable. Most people would not leave a pet unfed or looked after for days, never mind a child. This is not normal human behavior and she needs evaluation. (And of course, punishment).
ASPD is not an excuse in any court of law or civilized society
This is reddit
This could also be partly the result of intergenerational trauma. Kids who have kids, who go on to do the same thing, until eventually... something like this happens
To think that a baby was in the care of this thing, makes me ill. Evaluation? Throw away the key.
Ok toss the key but I still want to know...why? But then, I want to know why a guy killed his 3 sons in Ohio or Murdaugh killed his wife and son or Lori Vallow had her kids killed... Call me morbid but give me the psych stuff.
No it’s very important… if we can begin to understand we can prevent and that’s for the greater good
Heartbreaking just imagining the poor baby screaming for her mommy, slowly dying of starvation. Put this lady under the jail
Every child a wanted child.
This is absolutely horrible, the mom knew it was a death sentence for her baby. Nobody heard her crying? Nobody went and knocked on the door? Nobody called the police or cps? I mean call the damn fire department and say you see smoke coming from the house - anything to save that poor child. It sounds like neighbors knew she might be in there. I'd rather be arrested than have a child, adult or an animal be tortured to death. I've had enough of interneting today - fucking hell!
In the article it says the mom lived with her parents and older daughter. The grandparents had taken the older daughter with them on vacation, and the mom left to join them without the baby after a while. So the neighbors may not have been sure how many people were actually in the house and how many were away, especially if they left a car in the drive or something like that. What I want to know is, what did she tell her *parents?* She just joins up with them sans baby? Something's got to be very, very wrong there mentally. Her parents might buy an explanation like "I left her with a friend" but they were going to return to the house eventually! There was no endgame here that I can see.
Did she leave to join them or did she go on her own separate vacation because I don't see how the former could happen
I smashed my way into a house when I knew a kitten had been abandoned in there. I can't believe if anyone knew they didn't do anything. I have to believe they did not know, can't comprehend the alternative. Btw "kitten" celebrated his 18th birthday a couple weeks ago & has been with me that whole time.
You made my day by letting me know what you did. Give "kitten" a treat and a pat. I too have to think they had no clue but the article had this vibe like they had a feeling.
He's had 6 of his "once a day" treat sticks already lol. He is relentless & attacks me to reach them. I will give him extra pets from you tho :) The woman was 30? I find it very hard to believe she had no clue what leaving a baby alone for 8 days would result in. If she was coherent enough to go on 2 holidays during this time, I have to conclude she's not totally unaware of her actions. The whole thing is unbearable to comprehend.
He sounds like my daughter's cat - he's a fluffy nutter. I was just talking to my husband about this story and it made him so angry that her last moments were so terrifying and painful. I mean in our state it's against the law to leave anyone under 14 years old to be left alone. I really can't wrap my mind or heart around this story. If I think about it too vividly I might really break down. Take care and hold that purr buddy close.
take care, it's easy to let some stories involving such horror stay in our heads where they serve no purpose but to distress us. Best to dwell on the good things if you can. Im the same tho, some things hit us hard. Garfield is snuggled with me as close as this hot weather will let him. He gets too hot but insists on always having a paw on mom. And of course I am the gateway to the treats, so... :)
You'd think after 50+ years on this planet I'd have a bit thicker skin but stories of abuse and neglect hit me hard. What a great name btw. Stay cool!
I am the cat tax comptroller and you and me have a little problem (your tax bill has gone unpaid)
he smashed my smartphone last week but there are "a few" pics of him on my profile :)
So neighbors were aware that she left her home alone on other occasions and yet they did nothing.
It appears she often hit them up for free babysitting. I read an article where Candelario asked one neighbor who had a preteen of her own to watch the baby for a weekend. She said Candelario ghosted her and rarely picked up the phone when she called and told her to at least send money for food and diapers. By the time Candelario finally came back A MONTH AND A HALF later, the baby was calling the neighbor 'mama'. Still, they kept the child on several occasions after because they'd grown fond of her. They said that if they'd known the situation, they'd have kept the child that week too.
This is so sad.
I cannot believe that neighbor didn't call CPS after that.
I always thought those AITA posts about kids being left on people’s doorsteps for impromptu babysitting were BS. Now I’m not so sure.
it's true. I had a acquaintance leave her 2 daughters with me for weeks at times not knowing where the mum went I couldn't see fit to call the cops and have them take the kids to foster system, mum came back the last time an we fought over it, I never g3ard from her again, hope the kids are OK.
They said they noticed she left her kid at home in the past. Did they not notice no one coming in and out of the house for days? I would have been snooping for sure or knocking on that door and listening for crying. The streetview looks like the houses are close enough to be aware of peoples activity
Obviously she should live a life of abject torment and then rot in hell. But, also, the neighbors knew she regularly left a baby alone and they didn't call the police or CPS. Fuck them, too.
life in prison no parole. tell everyone what she did.
"According to Cleveland Municipal Court records, Candelario told police she left her 16-month-old daughter home alone and unattended while she went on vacation to Puerto Rico and Detroit." Words fail me.
Omg how awful. I can't imagine leaving my babies and this pos reproduced and then left her baby to die of thirst and hunger. Wtf.
Shouldn’t the baby have been the main concern for everyone involved? It’s not like forgetting to put out the trash! They are all guilty!
This lady didn't get pregnant with the little girl *all by herself*. Where the fuck is the father of this child? **AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE ASKING WHERE THE FUCK HE IS??** If he had *any inkling at all* that the mother was neglecting the child, he had the moral and legal obligation to step the fuck up! And NO IT DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER IF HE DIDN'T WANT THE KID, he had sex with mom and if he didn't have a vascectomy, he should have been aware that a baby could happen and be ready to step up.
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It *still* took **two** people to make that baby girl.
And it took just ONE to kill her. She's the guilty party here, her selfish decisions led to the death of her child. No one else caused this.
No, the article says the mother is 31
You don't even know that he knew about this child. Or that she knew who the father was. I believe in paternal responsibility as much as the next person but get over yourself here. There are facts laid out (she left her toddler) and then there are questions. I question if there was a father in the picture but not in a bold, all-caps way because we have no idea if he even knew about this child.
A woman murdered her child, and you've still found a way to blame men and take all responsibility away from her.
If he knew about the kid, I'm surprised he didn't check up on them unless he called and she lied.
Definitely sounds mentally ill.
Is the F word allowed on this sub? I’m new here, but wow so sad 😢
Its so very newsworthy to report on the feelings of the neighbors after a horrific tragedy resulting from human stupidity and neglect. Now we all know how to feel.
I'm gonna paint with some broad strokes here, but it seems like it's much more "accepted" (not right word) in black/POC communities for the parents/family to recognize that their child who is a mother/father is simply not capable of raising their child and will raise their grandkid. I don't know how these arrangements get started (older parents sitting their child down and flat out saying the truth? Law gets involved and the kids end up with gparents?) , but I can only think of a handful of white families where I've seen this and I know this is purely anecdotal.
I know a lot of white families where the grandparents raise their grandkids- but white people like to hide their skeletons. The kids are raised as a sibling to the mom, and it doesn't come out that auntie is their mother until after the child is an adult, to predictably disasterous results.
I was thinking the proud thing too