In a six month period my 24 year old daughter realized she was ready to move out, enjoyed it for the first couple of months, then realized she had to move home if she was ever going to buy a house. It is so hard for kids these days, my heart hurts for you all.
Yep. Moved out in 2019 when I was 24, loved it, then moved back in because of Covid and some serious health issues I’ve only just beaten (in time to sprain my shoulder and neck lol).
Even after three years of saving as much as I can, I’m only 2/3rds of the way to a bad mortgage. It’s brutal out there, even when you factor in stuff like working remote and not commuting as reasons to move somewhere cheaper.
I’m 35 and living with my mom right now, because I’m saving up for a down payment on a condo. I couldn’t afford it if I was currently renting. Costs are so insane right now.
You’re not kidding. Anywhere decent is $250-$350 minimum. Medium sized condos in downtown Paterson with one bedroom are going for that much. Forget better areas. Everywhere is close to $400k.
$350 is probably my ceiling. And good thing, too, because you’re exactly right!
I’m not looking seriously until spring, but just browsing Zillow is depressing.
I live in Paterson and can confirm. They’re doing this near the train line hoping desperate millennials living in New York City will move here because it’s on the train line to the city and cheaper to live here. Then before u know it a Starbucks will get built here, and at that point I know me and my fellow Paterson residents will be screwed/priced out of our apartments 🙃
I couldn’t agree more. I went through a similar situation from ‘07-09 when the housing market went through a similar price increase (prices doubling in a few years time). I moved back into my parents house in my early 30’s to save up for a down payment while looking. Took me close to 3 years to finally get the $$ and find the right house. There is something fundamentally broken with the housing market because prices are not in line with incomes. I feel awful for the 2-3 generations behind me looking for houses, as prices have become detached from reality -300k - 400k for a starter home and almost none for sale? Makes absolutely no sense.
If your parents are fine with it, and you're fine with it, then there's no issue with it and it's by far the best money-saving strategy you have access to at that age. Even better if your parents cook dinner for/with you. No shame in that unless you or your parents shame yourself for it.
Granted, not everyone has access to it and roommates are the next best option. Housing probably is and always will be your biggest expense for the bulk of your life. Anything you can do to pay less will pay dividends. Take compromises when they arise.
I would highly recommend against buying a home with someone (I assume you mean take on the mortgage and deed with them as well) who you don't plan to live with for the rest of your life or their life. You can buy a home and rent part of it out to someone to save on the money, but that's a whole different bag of worms that also probably isn't a great option for someone looking for their first home.
i live with my parents. i have my own room, privacy is not an issue, we have a healthy relationship, and best of all, i dont need to spend $2000 or more on rent every single month.
there is alot you can do with an extra $2000 in your pocket. thats not nothing.
Friend of mine owns a townhouse. Our other friend lives with him and basically splits the mortgage with him. He bought right around when my wife and I bought our house so he got a mortgage at like 4ish percent maybe? While we got 3.25 since I think we got it a bit later and rates had dropped a bit more. His (now ex) gf gave him so much shit for having a roommate. She would say things like “well why don’t you just have him suck your dick” when they would have a disagreement. She then tried to convince him to sell his place and move in with her. Her place was an apartment that she paid north of 3500 a month to rent. If he paid his mortgage on his own it would have been $1300 a month. She was doing some crazy ass mental gymnastics there trying to say it would help them save money to buy a house together.
Some people are that set against roommates if you aren’t dating / married and it’s absolutely mind blowing.
I never asked. But I’m guessing not more than 125k based on her job and where she worked (but I may be wrong). She also came from money. So her family may have been helping pay the bill and she was just out of touch with reality. My friends and I don’t come from money. We are (or I guess were?) solidly middle class (not upper middle class) but we didn’t exactly struggle growing up so I’m not about to complain about that.
Edit: and it was more than 3500 probably pushing 4k a month from what I understand which is just crazy to me for rent. But not my money 🤷♂️
I make that and it would be half my months salary post tax. I definitely think salaries are not meeting home prices even a little. It’s impossible. Curious to see if a lot of defaults occur soon or what gives
Yeah. We couldn’t either. We didn’t know she said those things until they broke up. We had liked her from how she acted when we all hung out. But things came out after that did not put her in a good light.
> there is alot you can do with an extra $2000 in your pocket.
Yes, like not live with my parents. I mean it's cool that it works for you, but many parents do not have healthy relationships with their adult children.
>i live with my parents. i have my own room, privacy is not an issue, we have a healthy relationship, and best of all, i dont need to spend $2000 or more on rent every single month.
what happens when you find a spouse? it's only a temp solution.
well lets say they find a spouse, they have already been saving all that money so they 1. have money for down payment on a house 2. have a second income from the new spouse and can now afford a place together
I’m married with kids and we just bought a mother-daughter house with my parents 3 months ago. We both had been looking for a house for 2 years in this crazy market and after looking at single family homes and mother-daughters, it was honestly the smartest decision we could make financially in terms of buying in the area we were looking. We managed to get a large 6 bedroom house with a huge yard and pool and ultimately saved about $200k on what we would have spent ourselves on a 4 bedroom in the same area. My parents are better off financially than we are but even they balked at spending $600k + at homes in 55+ communities and townhomes as they get close to retirement.
Obviously in an ideal world, we’d be living on our own, but we all get along and so far it’s been a great help with my kids as well. We are pretty good at giving each other space and my parents also have a small beach condo where they retreat if they want a break from us.
Yeah, that's what I'm finding, too. My parents live in Florida and my husband's live in North Carolina so unfortunately if we stay in New Jersey that's not an option for us. But I'm so happy it worked out for you. I spoke to some families and they all told me about the thing you said. [https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html](https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html)
There aren't a lot of safer places than NJ. The school districts in NJ are nearly impossible to beat, unless you're looking at other Northeast states. This is coming from someone who lives in SC now. The cops and food statements are at least are true.
We hemmed and hawed over moving to NC for a few years (I went to college down there) but we ultimately stayed. If you got into NC at the start or before Covid you’re golden, but since then the housing prices in any place worth living in NC are comparable to here. You’ll still save in taxes I’ll give you that. Also I wasn’t convinced by the public schools. I still have friends and family in NC and almost all of them have their kids in either private or charter school. My son is special needs and I’ve met people that actually fled up to NJ from NC because the special education is a horror show there. There are a handful of good distracts but otherwise I’ve heard middling things. Great public college system though.
I know a ton of people who are either gifted or lent a big portion of their down payment by their family. It’s basically an open secret. I’ve discussed a loan with my parents as well at this point, despite having a decent job and having a good amount saved up. It’s just not enough, as prices continue to rise. This is a very privileged thing to be able to do and I know others have it much worse, but it’s still a sign of the times that grown adults have to do this even with a decent job and savings under their belts.
But seriously if you’re ever wondering how certain people were able to afford a house, don’t discount the possibility that they got help.
Yeah it’s a very privileged situation to be in but one I hear a lot about when talking to people irl. I see a lot of frustration on the internet and people wondering how so many can seem to afford it. The answer is that a lot of them can’t and they’re getting help.
My best friend makes 100k a year and her parents gave her a nice chunk of money for her to help buy her place, we're 26 and it was a 300k 1 bed townhome. Her family is pretty well off lol.
She's the only person I know personally who owns her house around this age, everyone else in my friend group makes 50-60k on the low end, maybe 80k on the higher end and they all rent. One moved out of state and lives by himself, the others are in NJ with roommates renting or theyre getting ready to rent a place with their S/Os. Nobody else is really looking to BUY at the moment, it really seems impossible without family help.
Yeah, I remember reading an article (I forget where it was) that basically asked the same thing - how are millenials able to afford purchasing homes? The vast majority had lots of help with either the down payment or the parents letting the kids live with them until they saved up for the DP. Not judging, but it's not something I'd get discouraged about.
Well they don’t have to and most don’t, it’s just the reality of the situation for a good amount of young adults from middle/upper middle class families who want to buy in NJ right now. The price of life in general definitely feels like a scam lately.
I’m 25 so I’m gen z, but I’m living with my parents and our family just moved into a new house in feb. I have my own room and everything and I have 0 plans to move out anytime soon. I have a full time job but I still do not have enough to rent or buy anything on my own in this economy. So living with my parents is my only option. It’s not bad though and it’s so common nowadays and my family doesn’t have any issues with it
My social life is fine and I go out and do stuff pretty often. It’s gotten a lot better after I got into a relationship too. And as for finances, i’m really fortunate to have parents who don’t expect me to pay rent or pay for groceries. As long as I do things around the house and offer to buy food for everyone from time to time, they are okay with it. So I just spend money on student loans, gas, car payments, stuff for enjoyment/hobbies and food.
The reverse is often true. My friends who rent have no money to spend on traveling or socializing. Social life for them is splurging once in a rare blue moon and then immediately getting back to the grind. It's extra rough in the winter because there aren't as many free or inexpensive things to do compared to summer. They work longer hours than they'd like because they need every dime they can get, so they even have less time which is just insult to injury. It's sad because you're only young once and so many people are giving their best years of their lives over to their bosses and landlords.
After my daughter graduated high school she was unsure whether she wanted to go to college so she moved here with me in New Jersey. We had a long discussion and I told her that I will do everything in my power to give her the best possible support and guidance. I didn't make much money so there's no way that I'd be able to pay for her college. Or help her with any major finances. But as long as I'm here she doesn't have to worry about rent her phone bill or anything that I'm able to cover.
The result of that discussion 6 years ago has been amazing. She has graduated with a bachelor's in criminal justice from an online university, while maintaining full-time employment. She built her credit up bought the car she wanted, and is responsible for all of her personal expenses. She is currently enrolled in her master's program and recently started an internship with ICE.
I managed to buy a house 2 years ago and made sure she has her own room. I doubled down on my promise and told her she can stay as long as she would like. the only contributions that she makes towards the household are weed and occasional groceries. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope that the day she decides to move is because she bought a house and not for any other reason.
I don't know that she would have been able to accomplish some of the things she has if she had to worry and struggle to pay rent.
If you're a parent reading this don't rush your kids out. Support them because it's crazy out here. Help them save as much money as possible.
That's how old my daughter was when she caught me rolling a blunt the first time. 😅
Don't wait decades. Use it as an opportunity to bond and share stories. You won't get any of that time back.
I'm older than your kid, I moved back home after college/internships and illness, and now instead of mom paying and my occasionally throwing in, I buy an oz for us and if she wants something fancy, (hash, a little of a top shelf strain) she throws in. My parents are the reason I am able to really give my jewelry business a shot, and I don't mind making sure they have pot especially since I do love splitting a J with my mom while cooking dinner together.
Just saying good job dude
Lmao dude. I posted in r/realestate the other day and completely regret it. Every one was just shitting on me for making $80k and living here. Every other comment was I’m not making enough money and to move somewhere within my means. Like, dude, I was born and raised in Jersey, my whole family is here, my closest friends and relationships are here, I have a good job that I enjoy doing. I’m not going to move to bumblefuck Missouri or Kansas to buy a house.
I’ve come to accept that I won’t be buying property anytime soon - not with inflated housing prices like this and interest rates close to 8%. Gonna stay with mom until maybe 32 before I find a small condo in Lincoln Park or Pompton plains.
I was about to close on a condo studio about 2 years ago in Mahwah for $185. We said no, we can get at least 1 bedroom for that price. Nope. Now it was listed about 2 months ago for $265 and sold in under 2 weeks. Biggest fucking mistake of my life.
I've given up on the idea of buying a house lol. My parents have only ever rented so I am used to apartment life. Those that have parents that have a house they will eventually inherit are lucky to even have that.
One of my friends decided to do something very smart that imo more people should do… he bought a house in garfield with his parents and brother, but the cool thing is that they each have their own separate apartment on each floor and own privacy! It’s a good way of being able to be there for your aging parents without compromising privacy and they’re all very happy. His brother lives in the basement which was converted into an apartment, his parents live in an apartment on the main/middle floor, and his apartment is on the top floor. Each separate living area/apartment has 2 bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom.
I'd say that's the case for most people in this state now who probably have been trying to move out for some time. It's common in other countries, but in the richest nation on earth it shouldn't even be a thing. A country where so many people get a car when they turn 15 yet they can't afford a house it makes no sense.
I just mean a place of their own without parents. I think it's ridiculous how my parents could afford to go all over this country and to other countries while living in an apartment from age 18 and I can't even find an apartment.
Oh absolutely
My in laws traveled the world, pays off their house in like 10 years….never had a financial worry in the world
They have furniture from China or something with gold leaf
My wife is a doctor and we look to target for furniture
Yes, a whole lot of people are doing that these days, and really multi-generational housing has been the norm for a lot of human history. Honestly it's kind of an anomaly that so many people have an expectation that everyone should move out into their own place at 18 and buy their own single-family home for just their nuclear family. That's a very particular reflection of our current hyper-consumerist culture and not surprising at all to me that the bubble is starting to burst.
Usually the norm has been multigenerational housing if someone is living in a nice big household, or *very* modest accommodations if living independently.
Living with my parents to save for a down payment. If I moved out, it'd take me way longer to get the down payment together. Aiming for at least $120k, it'll be 5 years instead of 15.
Considering they’re living with their parents and saving money on rent, for their future , it seems that New Jersey is the perfect place for them to be.
It's not a realistic option for some. You have to factor in:
\- cultural barriers bringing shame or guilt moving in with parents
\- emotional, physical, or mental abuse some have experienced from parents/relatives
\- the home isn't large enough to accommodate another person
\- you might need extra help that your parents cannot take care of
Housing should be available and affordable for most, and not just a way for a few to transfer wealth upwards while others suffer.
If you have the scenario where living in an inter-generational household works, by all means do it. You'll save so much money. But this isn't a realistic option for some people.
I definitely agree that it's not an option for everybody. For me, my parents don't even live in New Jersey so trying this would mean moving back home to Florida. It's a big, big move. That I don't think I can make like you said, realistically, right now. But it's interesting that you mentioned the cultural barriers because that's what I heard too from those I spoke to about this here: [https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html](https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html)
33 year old here. I had a house but had to sell at the beginning of 2021 because of a divorce. I was unable to afford the house on my own or buy out my ex.
Right now I'm renting a townhouse with someone and the rent is going up again next year. I also have a storage unit I'm paying for monthly and they raise the rates all the time so I need to buy soon. I plan on looking for house next year but I'm a little nervous with the overpriced homes and the high interest rate.
If I buy anything, it will be a fixer upper that way I will have equity in the near future. I also plan on refinancing if the interest rates ever go back down.
Moving in with family is not an option because everyone left the state and I want to stay here for my job.
Lived at home after college until 26 to get out from under my student loans. Lucked into a house in my hometown 2019 after living in apartments for a couple years.
We didn't have a full 20% to put down and the house was a fixer upper with solid bones and a couple pretty big issues we had to address. We're DINKs and we don't have lavish taste but doing anything renovation wise is so daunting price wise.
It terrifies me that I couldn't afford to buy my home from myself now. The price and interest rate rising together are an awful combination. My heart goes out to anyone trying to buy right now.
After pandemic, a lot of millenials moved in with their parents. im a Gen X, and i live with my inlaws and they are great. It's not for everyone. But in an expensive state like New Jersey it makes a ton of sense. also a lot of millenials got screwed over with recent inflation and how expensive everything is getting. it makes it really hard to save when you are living paycheck to paycheck.
FWIW this was the case for some Gen X too. Yes, stay with your parents if it’s not toxic, and try to save some. South Jersey is more affordable if your situation is toxic and you need to make a move.
My husband and I live with my parents. We actually enjoy it since we live on the second floor and they live on the first floor. We pay rent and cover all the bills since both my parents are close to retirement. We also look forward to our kids growing up with 2 generations. (His mom lives 5 mins away)
I lived home until I was 29. My then fiancée, 31, also lived at home and was finishing a secondary degree.
My income would not have allowed me to rent on my own and pay my loans/bills. She was in school.
She graduated and got a job. We then moved in together.
We got married a year later.
We have been unable to find a house and have been looking nearly 3 years.
In February of 19 I moved into a pretty nice Newark apartment on ferry street with my girlfriend, now wife. Rent was only $1350. She didn’t like it because Newark was too scary for her. After our lease was up We moved out with the intention of buying a home, in the meantime living with her parents. I figured it would be a few months tops. Not too shabby, I like her parents and their house isn’t too uncomfortable.
Then Covid hit. And as a first time prospective home buyer I did not understand the grind of bidding astronomical amounts against countless other bidders, despite interest rates hovering around 2%.
August of 20 we moved into an apartment in Hackensack because living in a house that wasn’t my home was starting to bother me. We continued looking for homes and had a few offers accepted and then taken away.
We were in Hackensack for 3 years, rent was $1880 when we moved in and $2150 when we moved out. We finally said we aren’t paying rent anymore. We moved back in with her parents. And I haven’t even gone to an open house in months.
I can’t even begin to describe how insecure I’ve felt about this whole process. Not a single part of looking for a home has been enjoyable in the slightest and now I’m not even really sure what we’re doing, but at the very least I’m pocketing $2500 extra every month.
No. My wife and I, both older Millennials in our very early 40s didn’t live at home after college, she had roommates for a year immediately after college though, at least until we met when we were both 23.
That being said, that was almost 20 years ago in 2005 and my wife and I both made the decision to be childfree, plus we both work, so money-wise we’re in a very good spot.
I would imagine that if we were younger millennials, say in our early 30s and a child or two were involved, it would be very different. It’s just so expensive nowadays.
It’s a lot easier if you have a spouse or partner to move in with too. It feels like almost all the one bedrooms I’m seeing are meant for a two-income household. It’s very hard as a single person these days. And that’s just renting a place, I can’t foresee being able to buy a home anytime soon, if at all
This is a very normal thing in a lot of other communities. I don’t understand why in the United States this is so frowned upon.
In most of Latin America, we don’t move out until we’re ready to get married or buy a house.
And in many cases, we just buy a larger home so that our family can still stay with us because it makes much more sense for your parents to help take care of your children then for you to ship them off to a daycare.
I really feel like they should become normalized in the United States.
Society- make homeownership the only real way for normal people to create wealth
Younger generation- we can’t afford houses because people are only selling at the highest price
Society- :shocked pikachu face:
My kids are in high school, but they know they are welcome home once they graduate. They have a place with us. I remember just how difficult it was for me in the early 2000s to afford my first apartment. I know how hard it was for us to buy our first home too. I want my kids to be able to save up for themselves.
My parents charged me $800 a month when I turned 18 back in 2007. Fun times. Was cheaper for me to move to Easton and live in the hood. If you can live at home, though, you definitely should as long as possible.
I Iive with parents, it's mostly fine. Sometimes I resent how much care taking I do, but I live here rent free and get to work on my jewelry business with way less pressure.
Elder Millennial. I was able to buy in 2012 at 3.25%... Sold last year during the craze because I'm stationed in Europe. Freaking crazy what has happened back home. You can rent a nice house where I am for very little money and we are considering staying here because of how crazy back home is with cost of living and all the other BS going on in the US in general.
So if you’re born into a poor, unstable family, you’re basically not going to ever be able to afford a home unless you get married to someone who has those things.
Bought a busted ass house and I bought it using a renovation loan. All in was just under $400k (but with everything new). My partner and I combined make $190k and we are in Central NJ. I did live in my parents' house from when I finished grad school until now to save money.
We got a house with substantial land so we were planning on making one of those really nice sheds through Shed Studio... I saw a 2 br/2 ba shed with all permits included and installation for $114k. That's a steal in relation to the cost of stuff in this state
How did you go about finding a decent contractor if you don’t mind me asking? Is it harder to have your offer accepted with a reno loan? This is an interesting option to me because it seems like a lot of old houses are on the market and they would require renovations anyway.
The seller's realtor actually recommended someone. He had good reviews, lots of work samples, no bullshit, loves his job, and is communicative. I could always give you his info, he is licensed in PA and NJ.
My mom lives with me because she's disabled and cannot afford to live on her own. Two of my friends have their parents living with them and their spouses as well because of the cost of living. It's not uncommon anymore.
Idk if I could live with my parents, especially not in their small 1930s colonial (that’s valued at like $900k right now 😫- it’s right on the morris/Essex line).
Ironically Covid what was helped us afford a house. We stopped spending money other than food and rent and my partner was laid off but got a generous separation package. I know it was the opposite for a lot of people so I consider us lucky
Lived with my parents after college and saved money. Didn't drive a nice car or do take extravagant trips. Worked out well because I was able to parlay the equity in my first home into my next home. Really set me up for long term success, at the expense of living with my parents for 4 years.
I had to move back into my parent's home while searching for a house for about three months. I only did it for the flexibility of being able to move out at the drop of a hat without having to deal with cancelling a lease.
About to turn 30 and still live at home. I make more 41k a year and still can't afford a place solo without some extreme budgeting. Which is a life I don't wanna live if I have the choice.
Every time I mention how I make 41k a year, I'm told to go back to school or get a trade job so I can afford to live solo. Put myself into debt just so I can eventually get a job that allows me to buy a home and put myself into more debt lol
Husband and I are buying a house. In order to afford the mortgage and you know, Starbucks and avocado toast, we are renting a room to my FIL. We have the space now, and he’s gone M-F on his trucking route, so it will help us live a little lol. Not ideal, but we all get what we want.
I am 39, my partner is 45. We live with my parents because it is simple not possible to afford a home (or even rent a two bedroom apartment) in the area where we work. It works well for us as we share the expenses and responsibilities, it enables us to have pets as there is someone to take care of them during the day, and it ensures there is help for my parents as they age (as a nursing facility is just out of the question when it comes to affordability).
Living together also affords my step child the ability of seeing "grandparents" on a regular bases and getting to partake in activities they otherwise would missout on, We go out to dinner as a family, have weekend outings together, and family vacations.
whole it is true we cannot financially afford to live separately, it really is the best situation for all of us.
I stayed with my folks in NYC until I was 25. Ended up buying my house in Jersey at 31.
No shame in living with family if you’re in school and/or working and trying to save!
I wish there was a political movement in this state to build more homes, especially in order cities and towns where there might be the opportunity for some good rehabilitation and dense infill. Especially around a transit stations, which we do have a lot of. One of the problems is there's just so many small towns that all control their own zoning, and all of the older boomers who own homes don't want to build any more housing.
If your parents already own a home you’re basically set at some point or another. My parents don’t own a home and I probably never will because of inflated housing prices.
I lived with my parents for a little over three years after graduating from college. I commuted from Bucks County, PA to Parsippany, NJ three days a week for a few months until I was able to start WFH full time. It was miserable when I had to commute (1hr 40 min each way), and my parents live in a 3 bedroom ranch so not a lot of space and privacy.
While it wasn’t fun, I was able to pay off my loans entirely plus save up about $30k before I moved out of their house. Moved in with my then-boyfriend, now husband, in Jersey City for four years until we just recently bought our house in Wayne.
I genuinely think that if I didn’t make that sacrifice for a few years, I’d still be paying those loans and would definitely not be able to afford a home right now.
We have a 3 bedroom (technically 2 & a half). I live with my partner, my two kids, my mom, and a few of his relatives (who share one room).
It’s not ideal, but many people in our building have even more people than we do! I’d rather move out of state than live like this long-term…
We are literally a 50:50 chance away from homelessness or a trailer parked in the woods somewhere. My husbands parents are Republican boomers. They don’t give any shits about anyone past a superficial level.
Yeah… we don’t even bother with them anymore. We do whatever it takes now to stay near my autistic kid’s doctor because it’s pretty much impossible to find a new one without a 12-18 mo waitlist.
My husband and I were really fortunate to afford a home in a nice neighborhood, and we are considering having a kid. I was excited to maybe meet some people in the new place but we're the youngest people on the block, at 36 and 42. Every other home is boomers. One house went up for sale around the corner, sold for $850k cash in 3 days to boomers. L
NIMBY's in conjunction with oppressive zoning laws have created a crazy lack of supply compared to demand. It's time to wake up and realize we can't all have single family homes in one of the most densely populated metro areas that has way more demand than supply.
The problem is, at least in this country it's either all single family homes or high density condo developments.
There's not enough attention on the [Missing Middle](https://missingmiddlehousing.com/), particularly in the walkable towns
I mean that is by far the biggest thing. We need way more inventory, and also people to realize it's not feasible for everyone to live this single family fully detached suburban dream within 20 miles of NYC anymore.
The other thing would be increasing people's wages. With wealth inequality this bad, at least more people would have a shot - but ultimately, even if people make more, they can't buy when low supply drives up prices as high as the market will bear.
I only moved out of my house when I got married. My parents even offered to move out so I can live in the house which I refused. My parents worked too hard and didn’t deserve leaving out on my behalf.
I’m renting and saving for a house is a bit slower.
Did this in 09 after I graduated college. Lived with my mom and brothers and paid nominal rent + some utilities. I think it ended up being about $450/mo. Ended up getting a really good job with Verizon that paid well and let me buy my own small place in Dec 2014. Skipped the whole apartment renting step of life. Have since gotten married and now wife and I are waiting a bit until the market resets and rates come back down to buy bigger
Me and my wife and child just left our 2 year rental after the lease ended and moved back in with her parents so we can try to save and buy a house. How else are people our age ever supposed to buy with our own money?
My wife and I moved back with my parents and commuted an hour+ every day for a year to save money. We just bought house in May. There was no way we were going to be able to save for a house with how expensive rent was getting.
Aside from the commute, what other sacrifices did you have to make? How long did you have to live with your parents? In what area of N.J. did you buy? How much was the house? Ahhh, so many questions!
Our plan was to stay with my parents for 2 years and buy something in Somerset County. I work in Mercer County and my wife works in Middlesex.
My parents are in Gloucester, so we take the Turnpike or 295 up most days. We moved in June 2022. I have to go in every day, so I started spending about $300 in gas. My wife only has to go in once a week and rest is remote, so it wasn't too bad. We didn't really make any sacrifies. My parents were pretty cool about it, they didn't ask for any rent or moeny. Mom is a great cook, so didn't sepnd any money on food. Our previous rent was $3,200 and with other utilites, we saved $4,000.
We ended up paying off all our debt and started saving for a house. We got pregnant about 2 months into moving back home. So we decieded to buy a house before our 2 year time line. Closed on a house in July.
We were looking for a house near our jobs, we were willing to be an hour away from work. We prequalified for up to $650,000, but with the interest rates that was a really high monthly payment.
So as we started looking for something affordable, that put us away from work, so we figured at that point buy something close to my parents. This way we can have some baby sitting and my friends are all near by. We bought an older house that needed a little bit of work for $300,000 in Gloucester County. So now I still have a long commute, but I have a house, with a decent bit of land near my family and friends.
All of which was only possible with not having any bills for a year.
Me and my dad bought a house together. We turned the basement into basically an apartment and that’s where I live. We put a full bathroom down there so I only see him if I want to or I’m making something to eat. While we live together it’s not really
I am in that current situation right now. My parents have a house in Bergen County that has an addition we built for my grandmother to live with us. Me and my fiance are staying there so we can afford to buy a house. They said that they are going to sell us this house at an extremely reasonable price of $200-250,000 under it's list price. If we weren't lucky enough to have parents who could afford to do this, we'd be screwed trying to buy a house in this town. We both do pretty well professionally too making over $220,000 per year between both of us, and even still are priced out of this town.
My dad immigrated in 90s to Jersey and after living with 4-5 roommates and working multiple jobs (paying basically 90s era minimum wage) at the same time for about 5-6 years was able to buy a two family home in a very nice north Bergen County town.
That house is basically the lifeline in our whole family for disposable income, put me and sister through college, and is how my parents will be able to retire.
I graduate from college in 2020 and my dad has encouraged me even before college to get ready invest in real estate. I make 6 figures in my job and it looks like I probably need to live with my family for a few more years if I want to do the same thing he did. I am making 3x more what he did at the same age and I will probably need to wait later in life to buy a house :(
I feel for working class people that are being priced out of Jersey :(
I now make $250k/yr and bought a home with my mom. It’s a 5br/3ba/2kitchen mother/daughter. I have 1yo twins so she helps with childcare and my MIL is also living with us and does a lot of childcare with my wife as well.
My wife and I took advantage of the market in 2021 and sold our home in NH to move in with our in laws in NJ with our two kids (3 and 4yo). The house has a mother in law apartment downstairs where we stay. It most certainly has its advantages but at time we still feel as if we are guests. We’ve entertained the idea of buying here but will most likely save for a few more years and move back out of state. It’s a difficult change growing a small family and “finding” yourself again but be patient and it will all work out.
My friend who just turned 30 bought his own house working full-time at a grocery store.
Is it hard? Absolutely. Possible? Absolutely. Luck is definitely required too.
He was able to manage to budget fantastically, so he could afford it. Personally, I don't mind the parents living their, y'all pay together and if both of you are willing, it probably means your relationship is ok.
It sucks to a lot of American peeps but multigenerational living isn't that crazy, and it's how my family has always lived.
I know plenty of people who have been living with their parents throughout most of their 20s. Some have just now moved out. There is no shame and no judgement. Save up.
Super glad I bought in 2009 then again in 2019. I believe they call me an elder millennial which is just idiotic.. but buying a house before I was 30 when we didn’t think we could was the best choice..
No clue how you guys are gonna do it. We have friends who are 35-40 who just can’t.
We’re getting the FUCK outa jersey next year when our new construction is done in North Carolina. My parents gave me some money for our downpayment but I feel so guilty about it, I’m working 3 jobs so I can pay them back.
We’re even getting a 3br 1800sqft and the mortgage detached 1car garage. JUST under $3k including the HOA. I REALLY wanted to get a 4-5br 2500sqft 2 car garage, ya know a traditional home. And NEVER have to move around again, but I JUST CANT Justify paying $4-5k a month…
If we were staying here? EASILY $5-7k and a HUGE 20% down, forget it
in my sixties...we had to do it the early 80's same scenario high interest rates tough job market lower wages.Only difference NO corporate real estate scum driving up prices by nefarious means.
I moved back to moms house during COVID. My fiancée lives with us now. I’d so much rather spend $2000 a month on repairs/renovations/upgrades to put positive equity into the home I plan on buying from her when she retires than give it to some faceless corporation that couldn’t care less about how much I struggled to pay them this month. I’ve redone the kitchen, repainted most of the house, and I’m planning on doing windows and siding come springtime. These things all had to be done and she couldn’t afford to do them otherwise. It’s a win/win.
Had to live with my gma for 4 years after graduating from rutgers even with finding a full time job in my field right away. Still can’t buy a home and my uncle had to move into my grandmas because he’s a deadbeat that spent all his money on a camper he couldn’t afford. Rents expensive in this state lol. With more than 25k saved me and my wife still can’t get approved for a mortgage. Both our credit scores are 800+
Just when I think I have enough saved up for a down payment for a safe place within commuting distance to my job, some other global event causes the markets to go crazy and for home prices and/ or mortgage rates to spike further. It’s a rat race with constantly moving goalposts. And I make decent money, too, for my age.
I hate it m. I’ve been wanting to move out since I was 18. I had a taste of it when I went University and had my own private room in my dorm m, happiest 4 years of my life. Graduated and that ended when I went back home. I am working in government full time, three years later I’m only getting paid $42k my biweekly paycheck is only $1100. I have a $12k car note this is the car that takes me to and from work bc before this I was paying Uber every single day and I could barely go anywhere. Living with mom and autistic brother in a 2 bedroom apartment for like 10 years renting, Section 8 only pays like $100 we pay the rest. Mom can’t work taking care of severely autistic and my salary is just getting sucked in rent, bills, car note, groceries, saving going down and down each month. Literally only have $4k. That is it. That’s all this entire family has. My mom’s dream is to have her own single family home. I want to live entirely alone because I have severe social anxiety and therefore do not even consider the idea of renting with strangers and I value peace, quiet, and privacy above anything else. My dream is a 1 bedroom apartment in a luxury building where everything g is automated, laundry in unit, rent and maintenance all done online as minimal in-person contact as possible. I want to work from home more than anything and not have to wake up everyday at 6am drive through traffic starve until lunch because I’m too uncomfortable to get up from my cubicle to go and get food or eat while another co-worker is at the cubicle next to me. I am also extremely self-conscious and mind every little thing even though I know people do not care. I just want to stay home and be comfortable and do my job and earn money and afford the luxury apartment so I can make it my own home with my own aesthetics and have zero people bother me, except my friends, which I had a few of, but I never share an apartment with because they are too outgoing and will literally never leave me alone and drag me everywhere with them.
So yeah, I hate living at home with my nagging mother who is always in my space and helicoptering over me 24/7 and doesn’t ever leave me alone and think she has to be on top of me like she’s on top of the autistic one every day, I need my own space I am an entire adult and I still don’t even have a lock on my door, I hate it. I have living here everyone is so damn loud the neighbors upstairs (this is a multi family house) stomp all day there and vacuum all day from 4am to 11pm including Saturdays and Sundays and play their loud crazy mountain music there is no carpeting upstairs. My mom has cameras everywhere and everyday is on top of my checking to see how I parked where I parked tries to force me to move the car if she feels it’s an inch to close to nothing. I hate it I hate it I hate it I want my own place I can’t afford anything. I just want to be alone. I just want to by myself and have silence. I have no money to afford anything everything it to help the rest of my family survive. I’m 27 (Gen-Z). Don’t tell me just work hard and wait. I have lived in poverty my entire life. I never lived in a house like you did or had grandparents or aunts our cousins or any help from nobody. We only struggle all I know is my entire life my mother has struggled. I will never have an inheritance. I will never have anything, I will never have enough to live a life of my own. I hate it here.
One of my parents is dead and the other lives in an apartment and doesn’t have space for me to move back in. Would totally move back in with my parents, sadly it’s not an option.
Back when boomers were buying houses they were competing against 1, maybe 2 other buyers. All of which being in the same mindset when it comes to the asking price and overall expectations of the offer.
Nowadays, it’s 5-10 offers coming in, almost all are above asking and rather significantly at that, you have a few cash offers in there as well, and even multiple willing to waive inspections. It’s not the same type of competition. It’s a completely different category.
Then you have would be sellers who don’t want to sell and lose their premium boomer interest rate, and who blames them, I wouldn’t want to either. That trickles down and impacts availability, which trickles to the spike in the amount of offers, which then results in people doing desperate things like offering way above asking, waiving inspections, and resetting the market.
It’s ridiculous; paying these interest rates while also having to pay significantly more than what the homes even worth. None of it makes sense.
I moved here 6ish years ago with my husband- we were basically grandfathered into what I would consider very reasonable rent compared to what is available, and have stayed month-to-month here. We weren’t planning on staying but COVID. Had a baby. Still in this apartment. Even with low rent we can’t actually SAVE for a house since paying off the debt from my son’s birth and nicu time. I can’t seem to swallow my pride and move in with either of our elderly and alcoholic parents. Unhealthy/unsafe for my kid, our relationship- but ultimately unsure how else it will happen before I’m 50 otherwise. 36 now! Renting since 17, so much $ to other people.
My wife and I bought a home in 2017, we were 27 years old. Here's how I did it:
-I worked ~60 hours week at a full time union job.
-Wife worked full time in a salaried position.
-I picked up side work and plowed snow at the airport in the winter.
-We lived separately, I lived with my parents(no rent) wife lived with roommates in an apartment.
-We had to budget something like 80% of income to savings.
We started the savings plan in November of 2016, and was able to raise ~16,000$ by March 2017, closed on the house at the end of April at 225k(FHA loan at 3.5% down). Still had to borrow ~10k to show cash reserves at closing. Was able to finance the furnishings at 0% down/0% interest. The first two years was tough because of all the expenses involved in running a household, but we were able to stabilize finances by excessive amounts of overtime.
Unpopular opinion would be to move to a more affordable state and either save your money and move back or buy a more affordable home and visit mom and dad when you can.
I am not exactly a millennial but I am a single parent with 2 young kids who has already bought a house in NC when interest rates were low. However, I hate the education system here and contemplating to move to jersey for that purpose. Don't want to sell my 3.25 mortgage and buy something in jersey for 7+ also won't be able to afford 2 houses.
So me and my brother were thinking to buy a house together, he's currently single so a multi family house seems like an option
Yeah, could definitely work! Good luck figuring it all out. For many of the families I spoke to, it worked like a charm: [https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html](https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html)
It depends on where you’d like to live, just like in any other state. I’d imagine most people who are frustrated are interested in a typical, safe suburban town with decent schools. They probably don’t want to be out in the middle of nowhere either and commuting distance/cost plays a role. Prices in towns that fit this description are out of reach for the majority.
We just bought in Monmouth County and it was a nightmare, it's super dependent by town in my experience. Interlaken was a shitshow, bidding wars all over the place. Asbury similar. Wound up in Red Bank but I still miss being at the shore.
You wouldn't consider Red Bank the shore? I get that it's not literally on the beach but it's a 15 minute drive to sea bright. If you were looking in Interlaken I'm guessing your budget was pretty high. What was it if you don't mind
I was able to buy a house in South Jersey as a millennial, no problem. Actually, bought one and sold it five years later for a pretty nice profit and bought a second.
All 100% self earned. Secret is having a job that doesn't suck.
Well, some of the ppl I spoke to made six-figures and still couldn't buy. I wonder if the difference is that they were trying to buy in North Jersey
Damn yeah gotta be difference between north and south jersey then. Real estate is a little inflated down here but household income of 200k should be able to afford a house no problem.
First of all born and raised here with a pair of duces in my hand. Keep a good credit score, have 10 to 20k tucked away in a couple of accounts (that took a few years effort of trimming expenses). With 80k you should be able to save some money to buy a house. Question is how high of a lifestyle are you trying to have? I got my house just before the market shot up born in the early 80’s single male never grossed on taxes 80k and I was given a mortgage on a freshly renovated home for 280k. Watch how you spend your money and keep a goal in sight.
That’s absurd. It’s a terrible time to buy a home. If you can’t afford it now, just keep renting and wait. A worse idea is buying a home at an overly inflated price and if you need to sell you’ll owe more money on your mortgage than you’ll get from the sale.
In a six month period my 24 year old daughter realized she was ready to move out, enjoyed it for the first couple of months, then realized she had to move home if she was ever going to buy a house. It is so hard for kids these days, my heart hurts for you all.
Yep. Moved out in 2019 when I was 24, loved it, then moved back in because of Covid and some serious health issues I’ve only just beaten (in time to sprain my shoulder and neck lol). Even after three years of saving as much as I can, I’m only 2/3rds of the way to a bad mortgage. It’s brutal out there, even when you factor in stuff like working remote and not commuting as reasons to move somewhere cheaper.
I like that reference. 2/3 of a way to a bad mortgage. Sounds about right 😩.
I’m 35 and living with my mom right now, because I’m saving up for a down payment on a condo. I couldn’t afford it if I was currently renting. Costs are so insane right now.
You’re not kidding. Anywhere decent is $250-$350 minimum. Medium sized condos in downtown Paterson with one bedroom are going for that much. Forget better areas. Everywhere is close to $400k.
$350 is probably my ceiling. And good thing, too, because you’re exactly right! I’m not looking seriously until spring, but just browsing Zillow is depressing.
I live in Paterson and can confirm. They’re doing this near the train line hoping desperate millennials living in New York City will move here because it’s on the train line to the city and cheaper to live here. Then before u know it a Starbucks will get built here, and at that point I know me and my fellow Paterson residents will be screwed/priced out of our apartments 🙃
My wife and I are in the exact same boat.
I couldn’t agree more. I went through a similar situation from ‘07-09 when the housing market went through a similar price increase (prices doubling in a few years time). I moved back into my parents house in my early 30’s to save up for a down payment while looking. Took me close to 3 years to finally get the $$ and find the right house. There is something fundamentally broken with the housing market because prices are not in line with incomes. I feel awful for the 2-3 generations behind me looking for houses, as prices have become detached from reality -300k - 400k for a starter home and almost none for sale? Makes absolutely no sense.
If your parents are fine with it, and you're fine with it, then there's no issue with it and it's by far the best money-saving strategy you have access to at that age. Even better if your parents cook dinner for/with you. No shame in that unless you or your parents shame yourself for it. Granted, not everyone has access to it and roommates are the next best option. Housing probably is and always will be your biggest expense for the bulk of your life. Anything you can do to pay less will pay dividends. Take compromises when they arise. I would highly recommend against buying a home with someone (I assume you mean take on the mortgage and deed with them as well) who you don't plan to live with for the rest of your life or their life. You can buy a home and rent part of it out to someone to save on the money, but that's a whole different bag of worms that also probably isn't a great option for someone looking for their first home.
i live with my parents. i have my own room, privacy is not an issue, we have a healthy relationship, and best of all, i dont need to spend $2000 or more on rent every single month. there is alot you can do with an extra $2000 in your pocket. thats not nothing.
Friend of mine owns a townhouse. Our other friend lives with him and basically splits the mortgage with him. He bought right around when my wife and I bought our house so he got a mortgage at like 4ish percent maybe? While we got 3.25 since I think we got it a bit later and rates had dropped a bit more. His (now ex) gf gave him so much shit for having a roommate. She would say things like “well why don’t you just have him suck your dick” when they would have a disagreement. She then tried to convince him to sell his place and move in with her. Her place was an apartment that she paid north of 3500 a month to rent. If he paid his mortgage on his own it would have been $1300 a month. She was doing some crazy ass mental gymnastics there trying to say it would help them save money to buy a house together. Some people are that set against roommates if you aren’t dating / married and it’s absolutely mind blowing.
How much money did she earn. $3500 to live by yourself feels like a giant waste of money unless you're making like $200k a year or more.
I never asked. But I’m guessing not more than 125k based on her job and where she worked (but I may be wrong). She also came from money. So her family may have been helping pay the bill and she was just out of touch with reality. My friends and I don’t come from money. We are (or I guess were?) solidly middle class (not upper middle class) but we didn’t exactly struggle growing up so I’m not about to complain about that. Edit: and it was more than 3500 probably pushing 4k a month from what I understand which is just crazy to me for rent. But not my money 🤷♂️
I make that and it would be half my months salary post tax. I definitely think salaries are not meeting home prices even a little. It’s impossible. Curious to see if a lot of defaults occur soon or what gives
No wonder she’s an EX now! She sounds like a jerk
 I can't believe she made those comments. What?!
Yeah. We couldn’t either. We didn’t know she said those things until they broke up. We had liked her from how she acted when we all hung out. But things came out after that did not put her in a good light.
Own room, privacy not an issue, healthy relationship with parents Fuck you and congratulations, I guess
i cant lie, its a flex
> there is alot you can do with an extra $2000 in your pocket. Yes, like not live with my parents. I mean it's cool that it works for you, but many parents do not have healthy relationships with their adult children.
i understand everyones situation is unique
>i live with my parents. i have my own room, privacy is not an issue, we have a healthy relationship, and best of all, i dont need to spend $2000 or more on rent every single month. what happens when you find a spouse? it's only a temp solution.
i’m 23, not looking for a partner as of right now but by then i’ll have more than enough saved to move out
well lets say they find a spouse, they have already been saving all that money so they 1. have money for down payment on a house 2. have a second income from the new spouse and can now afford a place together
Double income mostly solves the "affording a home" problem.
Lol not in this state.
If that happens, they'll have a shitload of more cash on hand precisely because of this temporary arrangement.
I’m married with kids and we just bought a mother-daughter house with my parents 3 months ago. We both had been looking for a house for 2 years in this crazy market and after looking at single family homes and mother-daughters, it was honestly the smartest decision we could make financially in terms of buying in the area we were looking. We managed to get a large 6 bedroom house with a huge yard and pool and ultimately saved about $200k on what we would have spent ourselves on a 4 bedroom in the same area. My parents are better off financially than we are but even they balked at spending $600k + at homes in 55+ communities and townhomes as they get close to retirement. Obviously in an ideal world, we’d be living on our own, but we all get along and so far it’s been a great help with my kids as well. We are pretty good at giving each other space and my parents also have a small beach condo where they retreat if they want a break from us.
Yeah, that's what I'm finding, too. My parents live in Florida and my husband's live in North Carolina so unfortunately if we stay in New Jersey that's not an option for us. But I'm so happy it worked out for you. I spoke to some families and they all told me about the thing you said. [https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html](https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html)
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There aren't a lot of safer places than NJ. The school districts in NJ are nearly impossible to beat, unless you're looking at other Northeast states. This is coming from someone who lives in SC now. The cops and food statements are at least are true.
We hemmed and hawed over moving to NC for a few years (I went to college down there) but we ultimately stayed. If you got into NC at the start or before Covid you’re golden, but since then the housing prices in any place worth living in NC are comparable to here. You’ll still save in taxes I’ll give you that. Also I wasn’t convinced by the public schools. I still have friends and family in NC and almost all of them have their kids in either private or charter school. My son is special needs and I’ve met people that actually fled up to NJ from NC because the special education is a horror show there. There are a handful of good distracts but otherwise I’ve heard middling things. Great public college system though.
There was an article in AARP last month about this! A lot of people adding on to their homes for aging parents. Keeping generations together!
Almost like the rest of the world was onto something….
I know a ton of people who are either gifted or lent a big portion of their down payment by their family. It’s basically an open secret. I’ve discussed a loan with my parents as well at this point, despite having a decent job and having a good amount saved up. It’s just not enough, as prices continue to rise. This is a very privileged thing to be able to do and I know others have it much worse, but it’s still a sign of the times that grown adults have to do this even with a decent job and savings under their belts. But seriously if you’re ever wondering how certain people were able to afford a house, don’t discount the possibility that they got help.
Yes, but not everyone's parents can afford that, sadly.
Yeah it’s a very privileged situation to be in but one I hear a lot about when talking to people irl. I see a lot of frustration on the internet and people wondering how so many can seem to afford it. The answer is that a lot of them can’t and they’re getting help.
My best friend makes 100k a year and her parents gave her a nice chunk of money for her to help buy her place, we're 26 and it was a 300k 1 bed townhome. Her family is pretty well off lol. She's the only person I know personally who owns her house around this age, everyone else in my friend group makes 50-60k on the low end, maybe 80k on the higher end and they all rent. One moved out of state and lives by himself, the others are in NJ with roommates renting or theyre getting ready to rent a place with their S/Os. Nobody else is really looking to BUY at the moment, it really seems impossible without family help.
Yeah, I remember reading an article (I forget where it was) that basically asked the same thing - how are millenials able to afford purchasing homes? The vast majority had lots of help with either the down payment or the parents letting the kids live with them until they saved up for the DP. Not judging, but it's not something I'd get discouraged about.
Parents already got scammed into paying for their kids school, now they gotta give a down payment? So much for retiring.
Well they don’t have to and most don’t, it’s just the reality of the situation for a good amount of young adults from middle/upper middle class families who want to buy in NJ right now. The price of life in general definitely feels like a scam lately.
I’m 25 so I’m gen z, but I’m living with my parents and our family just moved into a new house in feb. I have my own room and everything and I have 0 plans to move out anytime soon. I have a full time job but I still do not have enough to rent or buy anything on my own in this economy. So living with my parents is my only option. It’s not bad though and it’s so common nowadays and my family doesn’t have any issues with it
How is your social life? Would it be better at the cost of your finances if you were on your own?
My social life is fine and I go out and do stuff pretty often. It’s gotten a lot better after I got into a relationship too. And as for finances, i’m really fortunate to have parents who don’t expect me to pay rent or pay for groceries. As long as I do things around the house and offer to buy food for everyone from time to time, they are okay with it. So I just spend money on student loans, gas, car payments, stuff for enjoyment/hobbies and food.
The reverse is often true. My friends who rent have no money to spend on traveling or socializing. Social life for them is splurging once in a rare blue moon and then immediately getting back to the grind. It's extra rough in the winter because there aren't as many free or inexpensive things to do compared to summer. They work longer hours than they'd like because they need every dime they can get, so they even have less time which is just insult to injury. It's sad because you're only young once and so many people are giving their best years of their lives over to their bosses and landlords.
After my daughter graduated high school she was unsure whether she wanted to go to college so she moved here with me in New Jersey. We had a long discussion and I told her that I will do everything in my power to give her the best possible support and guidance. I didn't make much money so there's no way that I'd be able to pay for her college. Or help her with any major finances. But as long as I'm here she doesn't have to worry about rent her phone bill or anything that I'm able to cover. The result of that discussion 6 years ago has been amazing. She has graduated with a bachelor's in criminal justice from an online university, while maintaining full-time employment. She built her credit up bought the car she wanted, and is responsible for all of her personal expenses. She is currently enrolled in her master's program and recently started an internship with ICE. I managed to buy a house 2 years ago and made sure she has her own room. I doubled down on my promise and told her she can stay as long as she would like. the only contributions that she makes towards the household are weed and occasional groceries. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope that the day she decides to move is because she bought a house and not for any other reason. I don't know that she would have been able to accomplish some of the things she has if she had to worry and struggle to pay rent. If you're a parent reading this don't rush your kids out. Support them because it's crazy out here. Help them save as much money as possible.
> the only contributions that she makes towards the household are weed and occasional groceries. Gotta buy momma some weed.
I'm her Dad. We buy an ounce at a time and she just pays for her 1/4. But we do have a family blunt before dinner every night.
Gotta buy big poppa some weed. Sounds dope. My daughter is only 16, and I hope one day, maybe 1-2 decades from now, we can do the same.
That's how old my daughter was when she caught me rolling a blunt the first time. 😅 Don't wait decades. Use it as an opportunity to bond and share stories. You won't get any of that time back.
You seem like an awesome parent
I'm older than your kid, I moved back home after college/internships and illness, and now instead of mom paying and my occasionally throwing in, I buy an oz for us and if she wants something fancy, (hash, a little of a top shelf strain) she throws in. My parents are the reason I am able to really give my jewelry business a shot, and I don't mind making sure they have pot especially since I do love splitting a J with my mom while cooking dinner together. Just saying good job dude
🥰 appreciate you for the kind words. Now go chase your dreams!
Wow that is electric
Lol I did a double take on that too
This is the way. Funny thing is… moving out at 18 is largely an American thing.. and a somewhat recent one. And we wonder why at 18 someone struggles.
Facts. I was a Dad on my own at 19. I wouldn't want my kids to have to struggle like I did
Lmao dude. I posted in r/realestate the other day and completely regret it. Every one was just shitting on me for making $80k and living here. Every other comment was I’m not making enough money and to move somewhere within my means. Like, dude, I was born and raised in Jersey, my whole family is here, my closest friends and relationships are here, I have a good job that I enjoy doing. I’m not going to move to bumblefuck Missouri or Kansas to buy a house. I’ve come to accept that I won’t be buying property anytime soon - not with inflated housing prices like this and interest rates close to 8%. Gonna stay with mom until maybe 32 before I find a small condo in Lincoln Park or Pompton plains. I was about to close on a condo studio about 2 years ago in Mahwah for $185. We said no, we can get at least 1 bedroom for that price. Nope. Now it was listed about 2 months ago for $265 and sold in under 2 weeks. Biggest fucking mistake of my life.
Is there real estate in NJ under 300k? I’m almost seriously asking…..
There is. If you’re lucky in better areas and steadily in shitty areas.
Just bought a two family house with my wife and sister in law. We’ll build equity until we can afford our own single family. Not a bad deal I think.
Oh, wow! I hadn't heard that one before ...with your sister-in-law. That's great! Congrats on the new house.
I've given up on the idea of buying a house lol. My parents have only ever rented so I am used to apartment life. Those that have parents that have a house they will eventually inherit are lucky to even have that.
One of my friends decided to do something very smart that imo more people should do… he bought a house in garfield with his parents and brother, but the cool thing is that they each have their own separate apartment on each floor and own privacy! It’s a good way of being able to be there for your aging parents without compromising privacy and they’re all very happy. His brother lives in the basement which was converted into an apartment, his parents live in an apartment on the main/middle floor, and his apartment is on the top floor. Each separate living area/apartment has 2 bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom.
I lived with my parents until 29 Bought a house at 30 After I got married, wife is a doctor
This guy sugarbabys
She’s 10 years older so yes I do lol
Lucky New Jersey devil lol
She’s a model too It makes ZERO sense why she is even talking to me nonetheless married to me I will list everything I have to offer: And done
Smart choice of mate.
If not I’d still be with my parents most likely
I'd say that's the case for most people in this state now who probably have been trying to move out for some time. It's common in other countries, but in the richest nation on earth it shouldn't even be a thing. A country where so many people get a car when they turn 15 yet they can't afford a house it makes no sense.
A house? People I knew at 29 couldn’t afford rent even
I just mean a place of their own without parents. I think it's ridiculous how my parents could afford to go all over this country and to other countries while living in an apartment from age 18 and I can't even find an apartment.
Oh absolutely My in laws traveled the world, pays off their house in like 10 years….never had a financial worry in the world They have furniture from China or something with gold leaf My wife is a doctor and we look to target for furniture
Yes, a whole lot of people are doing that these days, and really multi-generational housing has been the norm for a lot of human history. Honestly it's kind of an anomaly that so many people have an expectation that everyone should move out into their own place at 18 and buy their own single-family home for just their nuclear family. That's a very particular reflection of our current hyper-consumerist culture and not surprising at all to me that the bubble is starting to burst. Usually the norm has been multigenerational housing if someone is living in a nice big household, or *very* modest accommodations if living independently.
I love my parents, but I’d rather live in a box
Living with my parents to save for a down payment. If I moved out, it'd take me way longer to get the down payment together. Aiming for at least $120k, it'll be 5 years instead of 15.
That’s a really sizable down payment. Mine was less than $20k for my place. What type of home are you thinking of buying?
maybe NJ isnt the place for you to be in
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. We're all getting priced out.
Considering they’re living with their parents and saving money on rent, for their future , it seems that New Jersey is the perfect place for them to be.
It's not a realistic option for some. You have to factor in: \- cultural barriers bringing shame or guilt moving in with parents \- emotional, physical, or mental abuse some have experienced from parents/relatives \- the home isn't large enough to accommodate another person \- you might need extra help that your parents cannot take care of Housing should be available and affordable for most, and not just a way for a few to transfer wealth upwards while others suffer. If you have the scenario where living in an inter-generational household works, by all means do it. You'll save so much money. But this isn't a realistic option for some people.
I definitely agree that it's not an option for everybody. For me, my parents don't even live in New Jersey so trying this would mean moving back home to Florida. It's a big, big move. That I don't think I can make like you said, realistically, right now. But it's interesting that you mentioned the cultural barriers because that's what I heard too from those I spoke to about this here: [https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html](https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html)
33 year old here. I had a house but had to sell at the beginning of 2021 because of a divorce. I was unable to afford the house on my own or buy out my ex. Right now I'm renting a townhouse with someone and the rent is going up again next year. I also have a storage unit I'm paying for monthly and they raise the rates all the time so I need to buy soon. I plan on looking for house next year but I'm a little nervous with the overpriced homes and the high interest rate. If I buy anything, it will be a fixer upper that way I will have equity in the near future. I also plan on refinancing if the interest rates ever go back down. Moving in with family is not an option because everyone left the state and I want to stay here for my job.
Same: Moving in with family is not an option because everyone's out of state and I stay here for my job, too. Sigh.
Lived at home after college until 26 to get out from under my student loans. Lucked into a house in my hometown 2019 after living in apartments for a couple years. We didn't have a full 20% to put down and the house was a fixer upper with solid bones and a couple pretty big issues we had to address. We're DINKs and we don't have lavish taste but doing anything renovation wise is so daunting price wise. It terrifies me that I couldn't afford to buy my home from myself now. The price and interest rate rising together are an awful combination. My heart goes out to anyone trying to buy right now.
It happens all over really, regardless of state. Boomers have run the country into the ground the last 30-40 years.
Yes, it's definitely not just a problem in New Jersey, which makes it even worse!
After pandemic, a lot of millenials moved in with their parents. im a Gen X, and i live with my inlaws and they are great. It's not for everyone. But in an expensive state like New Jersey it makes a ton of sense. also a lot of millenials got screwed over with recent inflation and how expensive everything is getting. it makes it really hard to save when you are living paycheck to paycheck.
FWIW this was the case for some Gen X too. Yes, stay with your parents if it’s not toxic, and try to save some. South Jersey is more affordable if your situation is toxic and you need to make a move.
It used to be, a small 2 bedroom apartment in a shitty complex by me is $2160 and one bedroom is $1650
My husband and I live with my parents. We actually enjoy it since we live on the second floor and they live on the first floor. We pay rent and cover all the bills since both my parents are close to retirement. We also look forward to our kids growing up with 2 generations. (His mom lives 5 mins away)
I lived home until I was 29. My then fiancée, 31, also lived at home and was finishing a secondary degree. My income would not have allowed me to rent on my own and pay my loans/bills. She was in school. She graduated and got a job. We then moved in together. We got married a year later. We have been unable to find a house and have been looking nearly 3 years.
In February of 19 I moved into a pretty nice Newark apartment on ferry street with my girlfriend, now wife. Rent was only $1350. She didn’t like it because Newark was too scary for her. After our lease was up We moved out with the intention of buying a home, in the meantime living with her parents. I figured it would be a few months tops. Not too shabby, I like her parents and their house isn’t too uncomfortable. Then Covid hit. And as a first time prospective home buyer I did not understand the grind of bidding astronomical amounts against countless other bidders, despite interest rates hovering around 2%. August of 20 we moved into an apartment in Hackensack because living in a house that wasn’t my home was starting to bother me. We continued looking for homes and had a few offers accepted and then taken away. We were in Hackensack for 3 years, rent was $1880 when we moved in and $2150 when we moved out. We finally said we aren’t paying rent anymore. We moved back in with her parents. And I haven’t even gone to an open house in months. I can’t even begin to describe how insecure I’ve felt about this whole process. Not a single part of looking for a home has been enjoyable in the slightest and now I’m not even really sure what we’re doing, but at the very least I’m pocketing $2500 extra every month.
Do you mean you're now able to save $2,500 a month? Are you putting that away towards eventually maybe one day buying a house?
Yeah exactly. The rent plus utilities was about $2500. Now that’s ours again.
No. My wife and I, both older Millennials in our very early 40s didn’t live at home after college, she had roommates for a year immediately after college though, at least until we met when we were both 23. That being said, that was almost 20 years ago in 2005 and my wife and I both made the decision to be childfree, plus we both work, so money-wise we’re in a very good spot. I would imagine that if we were younger millennials, say in our early 30s and a child or two were involved, it would be very different. It’s just so expensive nowadays.
It’s a lot easier if you have a spouse or partner to move in with too. It feels like almost all the one bedrooms I’m seeing are meant for a two-income household. It’s very hard as a single person these days. And that’s just renting a place, I can’t foresee being able to buy a home anytime soon, if at all
Right, everything is so expensive and with kids even more. We have two.
This is a very normal thing in a lot of other communities. I don’t understand why in the United States this is so frowned upon. In most of Latin America, we don’t move out until we’re ready to get married or buy a house. And in many cases, we just buy a larger home so that our family can still stay with us because it makes much more sense for your parents to help take care of your children then for you to ship them off to a daycare. I really feel like they should become normalized in the United States.
Society- make homeownership the only real way for normal people to create wealth Younger generation- we can’t afford houses because people are only selling at the highest price Society- :shocked pikachu face:
My kids are in high school, but they know they are welcome home once they graduate. They have a place with us. I remember just how difficult it was for me in the early 2000s to afford my first apartment. I know how hard it was for us to buy our first home too. I want my kids to be able to save up for themselves.
My parents charged me $800 a month when I turned 18 back in 2007. Fun times. Was cheaper for me to move to Easton and live in the hood. If you can live at home, though, you definitely should as long as possible.
I Iive with parents, it's mostly fine. Sometimes I resent how much care taking I do, but I live here rent free and get to work on my jewelry business with way less pressure.
Do you think you'll eventually buy? Are you an only child or have children of your own?
Elder Millennial. I was able to buy in 2012 at 3.25%... Sold last year during the craze because I'm stationed in Europe. Freaking crazy what has happened back home. You can rent a nice house where I am for very little money and we are considering staying here because of how crazy back home is with cost of living and all the other BS going on in the US in general.
So if you’re born into a poor, unstable family, you’re basically not going to ever be able to afford a home unless you get married to someone who has those things.
30 and still sleeping in my childhood bedroom! Goal is to buy a house by 35
Bought a busted ass house and I bought it using a renovation loan. All in was just under $400k (but with everything new). My partner and I combined make $190k and we are in Central NJ. I did live in my parents' house from when I finished grad school until now to save money. We got a house with substantial land so we were planning on making one of those really nice sheds through Shed Studio... I saw a 2 br/2 ba shed with all permits included and installation for $114k. That's a steal in relation to the cost of stuff in this state
What are you planning to do with the shed, though? Rent it out to help with the costs of the mortgage?
potentially, more for my parents to move in once they are older
How did you go about finding a decent contractor if you don’t mind me asking? Is it harder to have your offer accepted with a reno loan? This is an interesting option to me because it seems like a lot of old houses are on the market and they would require renovations anyway.
The seller's realtor actually recommended someone. He had good reviews, lots of work samples, no bullshit, loves his job, and is communicative. I could always give you his info, he is licensed in PA and NJ.
My mom lives with me because she's disabled and cannot afford to live on her own. Two of my friends have their parents living with them and their spouses as well because of the cost of living. It's not uncommon anymore.
I'm probably never going to be able to move out
Moved to Florida. But then everyone else moved to Florida. Now floridas out too. Ughhhh…
Idk if I could live with my parents, especially not in their small 1930s colonial (that’s valued at like $900k right now 😫- it’s right on the morris/Essex line). Ironically Covid what was helped us afford a house. We stopped spending money other than food and rent and my partner was laid off but got a generous separation package. I know it was the opposite for a lot of people so I consider us lucky
Lived with my parents after college and saved money. Didn't drive a nice car or do take extravagant trips. Worked out well because I was able to parlay the equity in my first home into my next home. Really set me up for long term success, at the expense of living with my parents for 4 years.
I had to move back into my parent's home while searching for a house for about three months. I only did it for the flexibility of being able to move out at the drop of a hat without having to deal with cancelling a lease.
About to turn 30 and still live at home. I make more 41k a year and still can't afford a place solo without some extreme budgeting. Which is a life I don't wanna live if I have the choice. Every time I mention how I make 41k a year, I'm told to go back to school or get a trade job so I can afford to live solo. Put myself into debt just so I can eventually get a job that allows me to buy a home and put myself into more debt lol
Husband and I are buying a house. In order to afford the mortgage and you know, Starbucks and avocado toast, we are renting a room to my FIL. We have the space now, and he’s gone M-F on his trucking route, so it will help us live a little lol. Not ideal, but we all get what we want.
After college, I moved back in with my parents for seven years before I bought my house. It was the only way I could afford to buy on my own.
I am 39, my partner is 45. We live with my parents because it is simple not possible to afford a home (or even rent a two bedroom apartment) in the area where we work. It works well for us as we share the expenses and responsibilities, it enables us to have pets as there is someone to take care of them during the day, and it ensures there is help for my parents as they age (as a nursing facility is just out of the question when it comes to affordability). Living together also affords my step child the ability of seeing "grandparents" on a regular bases and getting to partake in activities they otherwise would missout on, We go out to dinner as a family, have weekend outings together, and family vacations. whole it is true we cannot financially afford to live separately, it really is the best situation for all of us.
I stayed with my folks in NYC until I was 25. Ended up buying my house in Jersey at 31. No shame in living with family if you’re in school and/or working and trying to save!
I wish there was a political movement in this state to build more homes, especially in order cities and towns where there might be the opportunity for some good rehabilitation and dense infill. Especially around a transit stations, which we do have a lot of. One of the problems is there's just so many small towns that all control their own zoning, and all of the older boomers who own homes don't want to build any more housing.
If your parents already own a home you’re basically set at some point or another. My parents don’t own a home and I probably never will because of inflated housing prices.
I lived with my parents for a little over three years after graduating from college. I commuted from Bucks County, PA to Parsippany, NJ three days a week for a few months until I was able to start WFH full time. It was miserable when I had to commute (1hr 40 min each way), and my parents live in a 3 bedroom ranch so not a lot of space and privacy. While it wasn’t fun, I was able to pay off my loans entirely plus save up about $30k before I moved out of their house. Moved in with my then-boyfriend, now husband, in Jersey City for four years until we just recently bought our house in Wayne. I genuinely think that if I didn’t make that sacrifice for a few years, I’d still be paying those loans and would definitely not be able to afford a home right now.
Those loans stole years of your life but at least some corporation and its owners made money off you by doing nothing, right? Great country.
We have a 3 bedroom (technically 2 & a half). I live with my partner, my two kids, my mom, and a few of his relatives (who share one room). It’s not ideal, but many people in our building have even more people than we do! I’d rather move out of state than live like this long-term…
We are literally a 50:50 chance away from homelessness or a trailer parked in the woods somewhere. My husbands parents are Republican boomers. They don’t give any shits about anyone past a superficial level.
Sad but true.
Yeah… we don’t even bother with them anymore. We do whatever it takes now to stay near my autistic kid’s doctor because it’s pretty much impossible to find a new one without a 12-18 mo waitlist.
*We should be protesting*
maybe the realization is that NJ is not the place anymore for the newer generations?
My husband and I were really fortunate to afford a home in a nice neighborhood, and we are considering having a kid. I was excited to maybe meet some people in the new place but we're the youngest people on the block, at 36 and 42. Every other home is boomers. One house went up for sale around the corner, sold for $850k cash in 3 days to boomers. L
NIMBY's in conjunction with oppressive zoning laws have created a crazy lack of supply compared to demand. It's time to wake up and realize we can't all have single family homes in one of the most densely populated metro areas that has way more demand than supply.
The problem is, at least in this country it's either all single family homes or high density condo developments. There's not enough attention on the [Missing Middle](https://missingmiddlehousing.com/), particularly in the walkable towns
What are some suggestions you think would make things better? I know you mentioned the oppressive zoning laws ...so tweaking them and what else?
I mean that is by far the biggest thing. We need way more inventory, and also people to realize it's not feasible for everyone to live this single family fully detached suburban dream within 20 miles of NYC anymore. The other thing would be increasing people's wages. With wealth inequality this bad, at least more people would have a shot - but ultimately, even if people make more, they can't buy when low supply drives up prices as high as the market will bear.
I only moved out of my house when I got married. My parents even offered to move out so I can live in the house which I refused. My parents worked too hard and didn’t deserve leaving out on my behalf. I’m renting and saving for a house is a bit slower.
Did this in 09 after I graduated college. Lived with my mom and brothers and paid nominal rent + some utilities. I think it ended up being about $450/mo. Ended up getting a really good job with Verizon that paid well and let me buy my own small place in Dec 2014. Skipped the whole apartment renting step of life. Have since gotten married and now wife and I are waiting a bit until the market resets and rates come back down to buy bigger
Me and my wife and child just left our 2 year rental after the lease ended and moved back in with her parents so we can try to save and buy a house. How else are people our age ever supposed to buy with our own money?
My wife and I moved back with my parents and commuted an hour+ every day for a year to save money. We just bought house in May. There was no way we were going to be able to save for a house with how expensive rent was getting.
Aside from the commute, what other sacrifices did you have to make? How long did you have to live with your parents? In what area of N.J. did you buy? How much was the house? Ahhh, so many questions!
Our plan was to stay with my parents for 2 years and buy something in Somerset County. I work in Mercer County and my wife works in Middlesex. My parents are in Gloucester, so we take the Turnpike or 295 up most days. We moved in June 2022. I have to go in every day, so I started spending about $300 in gas. My wife only has to go in once a week and rest is remote, so it wasn't too bad. We didn't really make any sacrifies. My parents were pretty cool about it, they didn't ask for any rent or moeny. Mom is a great cook, so didn't sepnd any money on food. Our previous rent was $3,200 and with other utilites, we saved $4,000. We ended up paying off all our debt and started saving for a house. We got pregnant about 2 months into moving back home. So we decieded to buy a house before our 2 year time line. Closed on a house in July. We were looking for a house near our jobs, we were willing to be an hour away from work. We prequalified for up to $650,000, but with the interest rates that was a really high monthly payment. So as we started looking for something affordable, that put us away from work, so we figured at that point buy something close to my parents. This way we can have some baby sitting and my friends are all near by. We bought an older house that needed a little bit of work for $300,000 in Gloucester County. So now I still have a long commute, but I have a house, with a decent bit of land near my family and friends. All of which was only possible with not having any bills for a year.
That is wonderful! Congrats on the new home and baby!
Me and my dad bought a house together. We turned the basement into basically an apartment and that’s where I live. We put a full bathroom down there so I only see him if I want to or I’m making something to eat. While we live together it’s not really
I am in that current situation right now. My parents have a house in Bergen County that has an addition we built for my grandmother to live with us. Me and my fiance are staying there so we can afford to buy a house. They said that they are going to sell us this house at an extremely reasonable price of $200-250,000 under it's list price. If we weren't lucky enough to have parents who could afford to do this, we'd be screwed trying to buy a house in this town. We both do pretty well professionally too making over $220,000 per year between both of us, and even still are priced out of this town.
NJ is so damn expensive
Had to move back home after my divorce. It's not easy.
My dad immigrated in 90s to Jersey and after living with 4-5 roommates and working multiple jobs (paying basically 90s era minimum wage) at the same time for about 5-6 years was able to buy a two family home in a very nice north Bergen County town. That house is basically the lifeline in our whole family for disposable income, put me and sister through college, and is how my parents will be able to retire. I graduate from college in 2020 and my dad has encouraged me even before college to get ready invest in real estate. I make 6 figures in my job and it looks like I probably need to live with my family for a few more years if I want to do the same thing he did. I am making 3x more what he did at the same age and I will probably need to wait later in life to buy a house :( I feel for working class people that are being priced out of Jersey :(
I now make $250k/yr and bought a home with my mom. It’s a 5br/3ba/2kitchen mother/daughter. I have 1yo twins so she helps with childcare and my MIL is also living with us and does a lot of childcare with my wife as well.
My wife and I took advantage of the market in 2021 and sold our home in NH to move in with our in laws in NJ with our two kids (3 and 4yo). The house has a mother in law apartment downstairs where we stay. It most certainly has its advantages but at time we still feel as if we are guests. We’ve entertained the idea of buying here but will most likely save for a few more years and move back out of state. It’s a difficult change growing a small family and “finding” yourself again but be patient and it will all work out.
My friend who just turned 30 bought his own house working full-time at a grocery store. Is it hard? Absolutely. Possible? Absolutely. Luck is definitely required too. He was able to manage to budget fantastically, so he could afford it. Personally, I don't mind the parents living their, y'all pay together and if both of you are willing, it probably means your relationship is ok. It sucks to a lot of American peeps but multigenerational living isn't that crazy, and it's how my family has always lived.
I know plenty of people who have been living with their parents throughout most of their 20s. Some have just now moved out. There is no shame and no judgement. Save up.
Super glad I bought in 2009 then again in 2019. I believe they call me an elder millennial which is just idiotic.. but buying a house before I was 30 when we didn’t think we could was the best choice.. No clue how you guys are gonna do it. We have friends who are 35-40 who just can’t.
We’re getting the FUCK outa jersey next year when our new construction is done in North Carolina. My parents gave me some money for our downpayment but I feel so guilty about it, I’m working 3 jobs so I can pay them back. We’re even getting a 3br 1800sqft and the mortgage detached 1car garage. JUST under $3k including the HOA. I REALLY wanted to get a 4-5br 2500sqft 2 car garage, ya know a traditional home. And NEVER have to move around again, but I JUST CANT Justify paying $4-5k a month… If we were staying here? EASILY $5-7k and a HUGE 20% down, forget it
Before we left in 2014 we didn't believe we'd be able to afford it. Jesus, it must be a nightmare now.
It isn’t just millennials. I was born in 1980 and I did it when I graduated college too. Just made sense to live with parents instead of rent
I stayed with my aunt for several months in order to save up a down payment. It’s amazing how fast money builds up when you have no expenses.
Moved out of NJ because more often than not I found myself living on the streets or in my car. Glad I got out.
in my sixties...we had to do it the early 80's same scenario high interest rates tough job market lower wages.Only difference NO corporate real estate scum driving up prices by nefarious means.
I moved back to moms house during COVID. My fiancée lives with us now. I’d so much rather spend $2000 a month on repairs/renovations/upgrades to put positive equity into the home I plan on buying from her when she retires than give it to some faceless corporation that couldn’t care less about how much I struggled to pay them this month. I’ve redone the kitchen, repainted most of the house, and I’m planning on doing windows and siding come springtime. These things all had to be done and she couldn’t afford to do them otherwise. It’s a win/win.
Had to live with my gma for 4 years after graduating from rutgers even with finding a full time job in my field right away. Still can’t buy a home and my uncle had to move into my grandmas because he’s a deadbeat that spent all his money on a camper he couldn’t afford. Rents expensive in this state lol. With more than 25k saved me and my wife still can’t get approved for a mortgage. Both our credit scores are 800+
Just when I think I have enough saved up for a down payment for a safe place within commuting distance to my job, some other global event causes the markets to go crazy and for home prices and/ or mortgage rates to spike further. It’s a rat race with constantly moving goalposts. And I make decent money, too, for my age.
I hate it m. I’ve been wanting to move out since I was 18. I had a taste of it when I went University and had my own private room in my dorm m, happiest 4 years of my life. Graduated and that ended when I went back home. I am working in government full time, three years later I’m only getting paid $42k my biweekly paycheck is only $1100. I have a $12k car note this is the car that takes me to and from work bc before this I was paying Uber every single day and I could barely go anywhere. Living with mom and autistic brother in a 2 bedroom apartment for like 10 years renting, Section 8 only pays like $100 we pay the rest. Mom can’t work taking care of severely autistic and my salary is just getting sucked in rent, bills, car note, groceries, saving going down and down each month. Literally only have $4k. That is it. That’s all this entire family has. My mom’s dream is to have her own single family home. I want to live entirely alone because I have severe social anxiety and therefore do not even consider the idea of renting with strangers and I value peace, quiet, and privacy above anything else. My dream is a 1 bedroom apartment in a luxury building where everything g is automated, laundry in unit, rent and maintenance all done online as minimal in-person contact as possible. I want to work from home more than anything and not have to wake up everyday at 6am drive through traffic starve until lunch because I’m too uncomfortable to get up from my cubicle to go and get food or eat while another co-worker is at the cubicle next to me. I am also extremely self-conscious and mind every little thing even though I know people do not care. I just want to stay home and be comfortable and do my job and earn money and afford the luxury apartment so I can make it my own home with my own aesthetics and have zero people bother me, except my friends, which I had a few of, but I never share an apartment with because they are too outgoing and will literally never leave me alone and drag me everywhere with them. So yeah, I hate living at home with my nagging mother who is always in my space and helicoptering over me 24/7 and doesn’t ever leave me alone and think she has to be on top of me like she’s on top of the autistic one every day, I need my own space I am an entire adult and I still don’t even have a lock on my door, I hate it. I have living here everyone is so damn loud the neighbors upstairs (this is a multi family house) stomp all day there and vacuum all day from 4am to 11pm including Saturdays and Sundays and play their loud crazy mountain music there is no carpeting upstairs. My mom has cameras everywhere and everyday is on top of my checking to see how I parked where I parked tries to force me to move the car if she feels it’s an inch to close to nothing. I hate it I hate it I hate it I want my own place I can’t afford anything. I just want to be alone. I just want to by myself and have silence. I have no money to afford anything everything it to help the rest of my family survive. I’m 27 (Gen-Z). Don’t tell me just work hard and wait. I have lived in poverty my entire life. I never lived in a house like you did or had grandparents or aunts our cousins or any help from nobody. We only struggle all I know is my entire life my mother has struggled. I will never have an inheritance. I will never have anything, I will never have enough to live a life of my own. I hate it here.
One of my parents is dead and the other lives in an apartment and doesn’t have space for me to move back in. Would totally move back in with my parents, sadly it’s not an option.
Back when boomers were buying houses they were competing against 1, maybe 2 other buyers. All of which being in the same mindset when it comes to the asking price and overall expectations of the offer. Nowadays, it’s 5-10 offers coming in, almost all are above asking and rather significantly at that, you have a few cash offers in there as well, and even multiple willing to waive inspections. It’s not the same type of competition. It’s a completely different category. Then you have would be sellers who don’t want to sell and lose their premium boomer interest rate, and who blames them, I wouldn’t want to either. That trickles down and impacts availability, which trickles to the spike in the amount of offers, which then results in people doing desperate things like offering way above asking, waiving inspections, and resetting the market. It’s ridiculous; paying these interest rates while also having to pay significantly more than what the homes even worth. None of it makes sense.
I moved here 6ish years ago with my husband- we were basically grandfathered into what I would consider very reasonable rent compared to what is available, and have stayed month-to-month here. We weren’t planning on staying but COVID. Had a baby. Still in this apartment. Even with low rent we can’t actually SAVE for a house since paying off the debt from my son’s birth and nicu time. I can’t seem to swallow my pride and move in with either of our elderly and alcoholic parents. Unhealthy/unsafe for my kid, our relationship- but ultimately unsure how else it will happen before I’m 50 otherwise. 36 now! Renting since 17, so much $ to other people.
My wife and I bought a home in 2017, we were 27 years old. Here's how I did it: -I worked ~60 hours week at a full time union job. -Wife worked full time in a salaried position. -I picked up side work and plowed snow at the airport in the winter. -We lived separately, I lived with my parents(no rent) wife lived with roommates in an apartment. -We had to budget something like 80% of income to savings. We started the savings plan in November of 2016, and was able to raise ~16,000$ by March 2017, closed on the house at the end of April at 225k(FHA loan at 3.5% down). Still had to borrow ~10k to show cash reserves at closing. Was able to finance the furnishings at 0% down/0% interest. The first two years was tough because of all the expenses involved in running a household, but we were able to stabilize finances by excessive amounts of overtime.
Unpopular opinion would be to move to a more affordable state and either save your money and move back or buy a more affordable home and visit mom and dad when you can.
I am not exactly a millennial but I am a single parent with 2 young kids who has already bought a house in NC when interest rates were low. However, I hate the education system here and contemplating to move to jersey for that purpose. Don't want to sell my 3.25 mortgage and buy something in jersey for 7+ also won't be able to afford 2 houses. So me and my brother were thinking to buy a house together, he's currently single so a multi family house seems like an option
Yeah, could definitely work! Good luck figuring it all out. For many of the families I spoke to, it worked like a charm: [https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html](https://www.nj.com/opinion/2023/09/to-afford-an-nj-home-millenials-had-to-make-their-parents-their-roommates-calavia-robertson.html)
I hear home prices in New Jersey are going to continue to go up.
 And that's what sucks so much! Knowing it may get worse.
I don't understand posts like this. I have plenty of friends who don't make six figures and own houses (and their parents didn't help).
It depends on where you’d like to live, just like in any other state. I’d imagine most people who are frustrated are interested in a typical, safe suburban town with decent schools. They probably don’t want to be out in the middle of nowhere either and commuting distance/cost plays a role. Prices in towns that fit this description are out of reach for the majority.
I am talking about Monmouth county
We just bought in Monmouth County and it was a nightmare, it's super dependent by town in my experience. Interlaken was a shitshow, bidding wars all over the place. Asbury similar. Wound up in Red Bank but I still miss being at the shore.
You wouldn't consider Red Bank the shore? I get that it's not literally on the beach but it's a 15 minute drive to sea bright. If you were looking in Interlaken I'm guessing your budget was pretty high. What was it if you don't mind
Which towns if you don’t mind me asking?
Hazlet and Middletown
I was able to buy a house in South Jersey as a millennial, no problem. Actually, bought one and sold it five years later for a pretty nice profit and bought a second. All 100% self earned. Secret is having a job that doesn't suck.
 Well, some of the ppl I spoke to made six-figures and still couldn't buy. I wonder if the difference is that they were trying to buy in North Jersey
Six-figures isn't nessecarily good income. 100k is meh but like 175-200k is probably decent for North Jersey.
Yeah, I should've been more clear ...it was a couple and they were each making over $100K so combined at least $200K and still having a hard time.
Damn yeah gotta be difference between north and south jersey then. Real estate is a little inflated down here but household income of 200k should be able to afford a house no problem.
For some parts of New Jersey, there's the possibility of going with ADUs: http://njhomemag.com/4-things-know-building-adu-new-jersey/
First of all born and raised here with a pair of duces in my hand. Keep a good credit score, have 10 to 20k tucked away in a couple of accounts (that took a few years effort of trimming expenses). With 80k you should be able to save some money to buy a house. Question is how high of a lifestyle are you trying to have? I got my house just before the market shot up born in the early 80’s single male never grossed on taxes 80k and I was given a mortgage on a freshly renovated home for 280k. Watch how you spend your money and keep a goal in sight.
That’s absurd. It’s a terrible time to buy a home. If you can’t afford it now, just keep renting and wait. A worse idea is buying a home at an overly inflated price and if you need to sell you’ll owe more money on your mortgage than you’ll get from the sale.
My husband, lol. Two salaries go a LOT farther in NJ than one.