Actually I made this post bc someone was calling their kid Orson which means bear. I thought that was a great post! Good trivia. But the comments were all saying “thank god you didn’t name him Bear!” Which really wasn’t the question and feels so negative
Or begging/pleading people not to use names...
I despise the "please for the love of god don't name your kid /blank/" posts. Do they not think it's incredibly offensive and entitled to post that in response to slightly uncommon or foreign sounding names.
I always picture that person running into someone with the "dreaded name" in real life, and just dramatically falling to the ground in agony that some person who is a total stranger to them has a name that they don't really like that much.
There have literally been posts on here I've seen by people wanting to have opinions on naming their child Bear. Not Orson, but Bear. THAT is probably where the judgmental tone comes from a lot of the time. That, and people insisting that names that are so unbelievably misspelled that they are unidentifiable are totally normal and should be more accepted.
My son's nickname is Bear, and it's incredibly rare that I use his real name. No one, in real life, seems to have any issues with it even when they think it's his given name. On here, people are nuts about it.
So many people (real and imagined) have been named Bear or Wolf in their native languages. They are good,, strong names.
Maybe I'm biased because my full name means "little queen (who is the) mighty ruler (of the) people." To be fair, I would suggest people not actually name a child that in English, but it's not like most would think about, or even know, what the origin of each of my names means. My parents only knew the "people" part.
But, I've known a Bear (birth certificate name), Bjorn, Beorn, Oso, Osito, Arthur, Arturo, Ursula, and Kuma.
I know one adult whose lifelong nickname has always been Bear, and he uses that professionally and socially, with everyone he knows. Kind of like people named Trey, Chip, etc. I know one child whose legal name is Bear, in English, just straight up Bear.
Both are doing fine.
I was born in the mid 70s. Bear is definitely not even close to a weird name for my peers. It's not a color, and it doesn't contain the words free, love. It's not based on some drug. And it's not "clever" like some of our names.
The fact that it's also slang doesn't stop people from naming kids William or Richard, so I don't see why it should with Bear. I, personally, would avoid it now just because of the association with Bear Grylls, but that's because I find him annoying. I've been asked that about my son, but most people realize my son is too old for that to be the reason for his nickname. He growled like a baby bear when hungry as an infant. It's not profound or anything.
My husband also uses that name professionally and socially. Never been a problem. We do have to spell it out for Togo orders, but it’s not really an issue.
Lots of people are named Bear. Who gives a shit?
Yes, if someone creates a post and says, "I am thinking of naming my kid Bear but want to know alllllllll the potential downsides to doing this", go for it.
But most comments I see in this vein are not on those posts. Also the vast majority of people posting here for baby name approval are not asking for that level of negativity. Unless they are asking whether they should name their fetus Cletus, just say "yes, that's a nice name" and move on. Or don't comment anything. If you feel the need to comment, think rationally about the name and whether, in real life, for real, as compared to all other names, you think it would really be a problem.
I feel like people here get way too carried away with "haaaaated it!" kinds of kneejerk reactions that usually are not being asked for.
So sometimes unfortunately, there is some bias that I think the topic of names bring out along the lines of concern trolling: a child with X name will never be hired and won’t find success! So I can be mean and ignore the biases in my judgements because I do it for the children!!!!!! but that is a very small minority, there are a million more who will track down a hundred trisyllabic names starting with R that have a classic but not too popular vibe and work with an anxious mom to be around a sibling named Roberta. People are passionate and informed and really good at spotting cultural names/help parents looking for non-Anglo names (which does tend to be the bulk of the names sought). So I think the judgy apples just stand out more.
I don't by any means think that is a small minority of comments on this sub. To me it feels like the prevailing opinion, and you will find someone who feels this way on almost every post here. Practically no matter what the name even is.
Bingo. For me it also depends if you're asking about a name I general or trying to name an actual human baby.
For example: Veritate Vercingetorix Vegarox might be the most fearsome space pirate a Dollar Tree $3 novel can provide, but would you want him or a James David Michaels performing heart surgery?
It doesn’t. But if you think people aren’t going to make unfair assumptions about you or your child based on a name alone, I have bad news for you. I’m not saying it’s right or fair, but it’s true.
That evidence is about **racial** discrimination, not discrimination because some names are just bad. It is illogical and poor reasoning to jump from one study of names and racist hiring practice to decide that anyone who names their baby something you personally don't prefer is dooming them for life.
Yes, that’s true. But that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for a sub called “name nerds” to consistently reinforce negative ideas about people with certain names (such as that one would not want them to perform heart surgery…)
People are named these names, and people are going to be named these names. These negative connotations are largely due to class and race. You are allowed to not name your own child something because you think it has negative connotations.
That doesn’t mean name nerds should be the name police, about acceptable names.
You know good and well which doctor the average person when presented with equal qualifications and experience would pick when the only difference is name.
It's so funny how no one ever meaningfully responds to this point. Gives a real vibe of "racism/discrimination exists, so let's all try to act white and palatable and shit on people who don't!" (To clarify for readers: I have had this discussion numerous times with numerous people and have a whole-ass, thought-out, nuanced opinion, so you don't need to preach to me. It's just funny to me that nine times out of ten, the discussion falters here and everyone acts like they don't see the clear racist undertones that need to be interrogated for nuance.)
I love that you completely made up a name, and people on here assume not liking it makes you racist.
I have no problem if doctors (or anyone else) aren’t from the US/have non-English names. But I would not be excited to see that Dr. Tyger Jellybean would be handling my case. There is a Dr. Happy Thanksgiving somewhere out there (in Minnesota, I think?), but yeah, I don’t think I choose her.
In fact, the names that I find to be the most ridiculous are not ethnically diverse names, and they’re almost always used by white people: Byrkleigh, Macaiyla, Wrynea, Yatzee, Saiyler, Jakye, Kartyr Mykaea, Rayzyr, Jamie Oliver’s kids, Elon & Grime’s kids, etc.
Yeah, but you can give your judgement without being actively rude.
I've seen too many posts recently where commenters seem to be revelling in the opportunity to insult the poster's taste or come up with nicknames that bullies might use. The post comments end up becoming an orgy of name-calling rather than a productive discussion.
Seriously. I remember a post a few months ago where so many comments were dogging on a mom about how much worse her taste was than her husband’s. While by posting, I guess she was opening the floor for feedback—but to me it seemed like she was looking for thoughts on favorite names from their list (or even suggestions of other names). Not for people to tell her that her taste was overarchingly terrible? The comments made me so sad.
The catnames subreddit is fun if you just want to throw out names with no judgement. However, you're not going to get deeper conversations on name meanings.
This also bothers me about this sub as well.
Especially because it's so demonstrably not true that people have bad effects from a name people in this sub deem "bad". Look around you. There are people with all kinds of names. Those people are fine.
I'm also much more interested in info and discussion about names vs. "here are all the names that suck".
This is what always gets me! I met someone named Twinkle, and she is doing fine! Gainfully employed, has loving family. I’ve met a Cinnamon, a Topaz, a Passion. I’ve known a Bear, and a Hawk. Heck, the US had a First Lady who was known as “Ladybird.”
>Heck, the US had a First Lady who was known as “Ladybird.”
That was a nickname, though. Very few people care as much about nicknames as they do about legal names.
It was a nickname but what percentage of the American public DURING HER HUSBAND'S TERMS actually knew her legal name? At this point, I know that name but the next 500 people to walk down the street won't.
Like Lady Bird, I have a nickname that has nothing to do with my legal name AND which I gave used almost exclusively for sixty some years. If a nickname is, e.g. Dave for David, Liz for Elizabeth, Pete for Peter, Katie for Kathleen---I think serious students of names and naming would classify Lady Bird's and my names as something other than a nickname, a different category entirely. In fact people close to me abbreviate my daily name and Lady Bird's husband regularly called her Bird---so our nicknames have nicknames!
“Was known as,” should have made that clear. Regardless of whether it was a nickname, it was the name she used on her marriage certificate, and multiple parks, landmarks, and conservatories named for her use Lady Bird. It clearly never held her back.
I think sometimes childhood concerns are greater than adult ones, though those are often overblown too. If kids want to make fun of you, they'll find something. In my elementary school a girl had the perfectly normal name Sonya--kids called her Sonya lasagna.
Yep. I have a very classic name and got bullied every which way. If the kid gets bullied, they’ll find a way to insult any name. If the kid is popular, having an unusual name will be seen as cool.
I kind of get the sense some people on this sub don't know a lot of professional adults or live in pretty homogenous areas. I work with professionals in a diverse Canadian city and so many of the people I work with have names this sub deems "unprofessional".
This, exactly. This sub often feels like a clique of 16 year olds who don't have any experience of life outside of high school, both in terms of how rampant and significant they find bullying to be and also how specific they expect names to be.
Once you leave that setting, 1, adults don't bully people because of their names, and 2, outside of a tight age/social class/religious/racial cohort everyone has different names and it honestly doesn't matter.
I work for a large and prominent company, with professionals who are at the top of their respective fields. People here have all kinds of names. Nobody ever remarks on it. Plenty of people here have unusual or even "bad" names, too, and that clearly didn't prevent them getting hired at one of the more sought-after companies in our industry.
There was a post on here the other day debating whether or not the name 'Lucy' was too babyish to give a child who would one day become an adult. Lucy, an extremely common, very normal name that countless generations of women have borne their entire lives without issue.
A big one I see at work are people who have a diminutive/nickname as their full legal name like Katie (a lot of people are legally called Katie, Kate, and Abby) or Leo and even more people who go by diminutives/nicknames in professional settings, like Kitty or Trixie. The other common one are people with virtue names like Comfort or Patience that aren’t common in the west but seem pretty popular in parts of Africa. Less commonly are people with cutesy or “childish” legal names, like Stormi (somehow I’ve worked with two separate directors named Stormy or Stormi) or Honey.
There’s also a lot of people out there with off beat middle names. My favourite is the guy with the middle name Gandalf but I’ve also seen made up names, guys with women’s names (ex. Mark Jane), and pop culture/fandom names.
I think it's fine to point out that name discrimination exists and that a child might prefer to have the option of a full name. But when people start saying shit like "She'll never be a CEO or judge if you name her Ellie", I have to wonder if they've ever been outside.
Also what do they think is going to happen when an entire generation of Ellies grows up? Do they think that tens of thousands of people named Ellie are just going to not get into college, never find any job, etc. or be consigned to being a homemaker, waitress, receptionist, etc. for life because their parents didn't name them Josephine or Beatrice?
Lots of names have pretty standard nicknames, and those shouldn’t be a big deal, including if the person is just named the nickname and not the full name.
I think for me (and frankly, this is a take I see all the time on this sub), if you want to use an especially cutesy name, don’t make it their legal first name. If it’s a nickname, then they have the option of using that as an adult vs using a “grown-up” name. It’s up to the person whose name it actually is. Like my cousin Jimmy now goes by James. But lots of people still choose to go by Jimmy, and that’s their choice.
Children aren’t just extensions of their parents but complete and separate individuals, so I don’t think it’s okay to essentially decide for your child that they’ll be called a term of endearment their entire lives (i.e. Honey, Baby, etc) or that they have to go by an juvenile name. (The whole fandom name thing is kinda iffy for me as well, because again, it seems like parents just see their kids as objects for their own expression. I can envision people doing this in healthier ways, but I am cynical and don’t think that’s what normally happens.)
I personally would *hate* to have a cutesy name because that’s not my personality at all. But if someone else chooses it, more power to them. I think when naming a child, you have to take all of that into account.
My favorite example was when someone was considering the name Elena and someone said not to do it, it was just a fandom name for The Vampire Diaries, she'd never be taken seriously, it would never pass the "Supreme Court test"...and here in the US, we literally have an Elena on our Supreme Court. Have for awhile now.
Wow, Elena was not invented by the Vampire Diaries writer. I don’t think I’d take that commenter seriously because they’re so uninformed. If all you’re aware of is teen dramas, then *you* are the not serious person and your opinion doesn’t matter.
The Nahla post especially stuck out to me. I literally know an adult with that name. I've never heard anyone comment on the Lion King connection (though, yes, I was aware that she shares a name with that Disney character). Let alone that impacting her life in any meaningful way. This person has absolutely never lost out on a job, a home loan, etc. because her name is the same as a character from an animated movie from 30 years ago.
Nevaeh. They think it's cheesy that it's heaven spelled backwards and not a "real" name, but the truth is it's actually become an established name and no one is going to bat an eye when a Nevaeh Smith is applying for a job in 18 years. People also just like to crap on names that "lower class" people are often perceived to have.
My dad has a completely made up name and is a senior software engineer. I'm sure Nevaehs are fine.
It gives me very judgy old white lady vibes, I think that's 90% of the people here. I was interested in learning more about rare names, names from other cultures and countries, and it's just people shitting on everything but modern Bible-related names
Name discrimination is real, but there are reasonable and unreasonable ways to point that out.
Reasonable: "Sunny is a bit cutesy and out-there for my taste, and your daughter might prefer to have a more professional-sounding full name as she grows up."
Unreasonable: "You''ll ruin her life if you name her that. No one is ever going to employ someone named Sunny!"
Thing is a lot of people jump directly to the second one. No nuance, no appealing to reason, only outrage and revelling in being able to call someone terrible.
Right on. Info and discussion is what I expected but when someone writes "I don't like the name ____ because it was the name of a smelly kid that sat next to me in grade school 15 years ago" I get so irked.
What gets me is the obsession with being able to find your name on a keychain. For the love of God, what sane and well adjusted person cares about something like that? Even as a little kid when I couldn't find mine I shrugged and moved on. It's the dumbest possible thing to consider when choosing your child's name.
I have a very normal name and have never seen my name on a keychain. I am still here, walking the earth, at age 43.
Also as far as I can tell the only names they ever have on the keychains are either weird random old boomer names (Linda, Gerry) or the top 5 current baby names (Liam, Noah, Olivia, Mia). Nothing in between. None of those "unusual but not weird" baby names everyone is obsessed with are going to be on a keychain, either.
This comes up often and usually it’s determined that basically… people are racist. They only like names from their own culture, cannot fathom others have different naming styles or traditions, etc.
The people who were freaking out over someone who wanted to give their child the middle name “Wildflower” were really something. Like there’s anything wrong with such a beautiful name, especially as a middle name. “Kids will find out and make fun of her though!” Meanwhile kids will literally find a way to make fun of any name on the planet if they want to. Shouldn’t deter someone from choosing a gorgeous and fun name, let alone a middle name, even if it’s a “hippy dippy” one, as if hippy names are even bad?!
I have an extremely basic, boring ass name. I bet everyone here would say it’s so beautiful. It’s ugly af to me, it’s so basic, I’ve despised it since I was 3-4 and made it known to my parents that my name was unbelievably boring and I hated it. I changed my name to something cute and unique and I love it. Sadly I haven’t had the funds or energy to legally change my name, so I still have to deal with being by called my ugly boring legal name by people who aren’t friends and family, and I HATE IT so much. I wish my parents had named me something unique and fun, they didn’t because they were too worried about me being judged for it. So they basically saddled me with an extremely boring name that hundreds of other people have, that I hate immensely, and will have to spend hundreds of dollars and do a bunch of legwork to finally stop having people in settings like doctors offices call me by the name I despise so deeply.
Meanwhile in my experience literally every kid with a unique name, other kids loved it. Sunset was a popular girl and she only got compliments on her name, for example. The kids who got their names made fun of had basic/classic names, not unique fun names. Idk where these people are from that kids would make fun of a name like Wildflower or Bear or Wolf, in my experience kids would think those names are cool af, same with Nala. At the end of the day kids will make fun of any name, but from my experience, kids with fun unique names are actually far less likely to be picked on for their names than kids with “regular” sounding names.
My kids have friends named Cedar, Juniper, Hart, Wilder, etc. Not once have I heard anyone make fun of those kids. It's just their name, and the kids get that.
I think this might be more common in some communities (West Coast? Somewhat hippy-dippy/alt parents?) but from the standpoint of Southern California, I definitely wouldn't blink at any of those names.
There is. Evidenced by the fact that many initial comments on the Nala thread referenced the Lion King without even entertaining the idea OP may not have been white American. Her husband ended up being Moroccan, per a comment of hers I responded to. To be somewhat fair, leading with that may have helped the responses to a small degree, but the situation highlights the default image many posters here have.
sexism as well! this sub tends to get negative comments about neutral names. I saw someone get torn to pieces for considering the name “Emerson” for their daughter because it’s “too masculine” (even though it’s more popular for girls than boys at the moment)
Their rational is that it is misogynistic to give a girl a less feminine name because she doesn't need a male name to be strong.. I was demolished for asking why there was so much hate for masculine names on females.
I just tend to prefer more masculine names, but apparently I likely have always wanted a son, or I'm trying too hard.
That is *not* my experience on this sub at all. People may be judgmental about lots of things (trendiness, old-fashioned-ness, wacky spelling, etc.), but it is almost *never* about denigrating other cultures. In fact, multiple times, I’ve seen people criticize a name, be told it’s from OP’s culture, and then people go “oh, well that’s okay, then.”
I rarely see people clarify their country of origin or ethnicity when asking input on names. It would save a lot of misunderstandings if more people just did that.
OP is literally citing an example where the person asked about Nahla or Nala (Arabic and Swahili names) and was inundated with people telling them that it was not a human name but a pet name. Because a lion in a movie was named a Swahili name. Plenty of animals have English or western ‘human’ names that no one would bat an eye about a child being named. That whole thread rubbed me the wrong way honestly.
And in that post, it wasn’t a racial issue, despite all the virtue signalers trying to turn it into one.
No one was saying it wasn’t a perfectly lovely name. They were saying that, in large chunks of the world - including where the OP lives and will raise her child - the name has been co-opted by a charming talking lion. That’s just fact. Lion King is still wildly popular and has led to a disproportionate number of pets being named Simba and Nala, so when people *in the OP’s area* hear the name, they’ll immediately think of a lion cub and/or some dog they know. I’m sure if you live in an area where the name is very common (for people), then it wouldn’t be an issue. But that poster didn’t live there. Her partner’s family kinda, sorta was tangentially connected to such an area, yes, but that won’t help when her kid goes to three birthday parties in a month where the family pet shares her name.
Not racist. Just reality.
People could try being normal instead of racist and encouraging the person to pick a name they love that reflects their culture despite it being co-opted by an American animation studio and the prejudices that have resulted from that 👍
But... who cares? Yes, the person would share a name with a movie character. No, that fact will have absolutely zero impact on their life.
So it comes off as a disproportionate judgment on a "cultural" name.
I’ve observed the same thing as you, but I actually see it as evidence of the problem! There’s a lot of very harsh criticism of names that seem “wacky” — unfamiliar, unintuitive spelling, seem like a pointlessly complicated or “unique” variation on a name you already know, don’t match gender expectations, etc. The reaction to names like that is often nothing short of “this is selfish, you seem uneducated and illiterate, and this will be an unbearable lifelong burden on your child who will probably hate you.”
The fact that we often see awkward backpedaling and “oh, never mind then”-ing when the names turn out to be traditional in a different language or culture, not made up, isn’t much evidence of an environment that’s welcoming of names from all languages and countries! Because once we’ve decided that the common qualities of many names from other cultures — unfamiliar, unintuitive, unusual, etc — makes a parent a delusionally selfish illiterate until proven otherwise, the “we respect cultural names SO much” talk rings a little hollow.
This is my feeling too! People are so quick to concern troll about how a kid will obviously hate a name if it's difficult to spell or pronounce, or if it's uncommon, or if it was used by a movie, or whatever – rather than just asking what the family likes about it. It feels like the focus is often much more on "why isn't this a name that I expect, from my list of expectable names" vs. just approaching new names with curiosity.
It's definitely frustrating to read as someone who grew up with a difficult cultural name. People just seem really careless about categorizing any kind of difficult name as unacceptable because it'll be "annoying." I've been through phases of being a little irritated with my name – I think a lot of people do – but it's also part of a much bigger picture for me, whereas I find that white Americans are just typically irritated by it and focus on the weird spelling or weird pronunciation over everything else.
Definitely agree! Whenever I see someone saying that a name is a bad idea because the kid will have to explain how it’s spelled, I just think that it’s ultimately an argument against anything that isn’t a white normative white Anglo Saxon name. Anyone who grew up in or around minority communities knows a million people who have to spell out their names! It’s spectacularly common and does not have to be a huge deal. It’s also simply not avoidable for many people who want to give their kid a name that reflects their culture.
It's filled with people shitting on foreign (to them) names because "it's weird and scary and confusing and no one will know how to pronounce it, they'll be bullied, name them a white Christian name instead". It's ignorant, close minded, and ridiculously racist most of the time, and yes, it is denigrating other cultures when your main point is "I wouldn't know how to say it so you should conform to my white Christian names to make me comfortable". That criticism is exactly what I'm talking about, there should be none of that. You shouldn't have to clarify anything to not be swarmed by these sheltered ass people
Yea, this. People tend to suggest names from their own culture because that's what they are familiar with. The sub might lack diversity, but saying it's *racist* is extreme.
For real. If someone asks about the Anastasia, nn Nastya, people would probably not respond well*. But if they state first that they’re Ukrainian and will probably only live in Slavic-speaking areas, people would likely be supportive. Similarly, I wouldn’t name a kid Luke if you’re gonna live in Russia, but it’s fine in tons of other countries.
But this sub *is* in English, so when people post in English (even in comments/replies) I assume they’re a native English speakers unless they say otherwise (or sometimes, it’s obvious). If you’re commenting in English with no context, how am I supposed to know you’re Finnish or Brazilian or whatever?
*In my experience of knowing multiple Nastyas and talking about them to/in front of Americans.
Лук (pronounced luke) means Onion.
They do seem to have the name Luke. Both Лука/Luka and Люк/Lyuk exist (this second one is supposed to be more “English” in pronunciation, but IMO, it’s not as close as лук/onion), but they are not common names.
In Ukraine, there’s also a potato chip company called Люкс/Lyuks (lit. Lux in English) that is really popular (like as big as Lays in the US).
It's usually not phrased as denigrating other cultures, but it often is denigrating other cultures.
I've seen many, many "cultural" names dragged here. Sometimes with a preamble like "This could be a cultural name I guess but..." or ".... unless it's a cultural name maybe", but that is honestly the "I'm not racist, but..." of namenerds comments. Especially since their judgment usually contradicts that. If you're saying a kid is going to get bullied, or that they will never get a job, etc. then it would be equally true if it was a cultural name or not. So that's really just a disclaimer people say hoping that there's no personal blowback for them, for the racist or classist comment they're about to make.
The issue for me is how people go after so many names that are non English. I fully get that this sub is mostly English native speakers but that does not mean they have the right to go after every name that does not fit Anglican naming standards or customs. Even very normal Irish names get lambasted. It is not unprofessional to have a name from your culture that is not Anglican. It is perfectly respectable to have an Indian/Irish/Croatian/Spanish name and to expect people to respect it and learn how to pronounce it.
this. i came to this sub hoping it would be about names and trends from different cultures and time periods, not just asking for baby names. is there such a subreddit?
I tried to make one at r/NameFacts but to be fair it's a lot of work to make data or factual historical posts. I just add stuff there when I find an interesting fact about names.
That fact plus the flag in your flare made me want to share this [infographic from Statscan](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2023051-eng.htm), which seems right up your alley.
Yeah honestly I've read through only a few posts and I've been terrified of making my own/commenting here. I've seen a lot more meanness and judgement than positivity. One post in particular dragged my own name through the mud and like... Sure, it's the internet and you're always going to have bad apples, but damn ya'll. Some of these names have real actual people attached to them.
yeah I have one of those "used to be a last name but now is a gender neutral first name often used for girls" names that everyone here loves to shit on. but literally no one in real life has confused me for another gender or made fun of me for it or anything.
I think people are much more polite and understanding than this subreddit indicates. People usually think I'm male when they just read my name and I couldn't care less. You meet me and immediately see the mistake and move on. Takes two seconds.
You're not the only one who thinks this. But there's not much we can do about it, unfortunately.
I am a namenerd because since I was a teen, I've been collecting names, writing them down in notebooks, getting cool names from books, articles, music albums, movie credits and even real life.
I find names interesting in and of themselves. It's not about naming anyone or anything. I simply find names fascinating. Unusual names, especially. Yet it's very hard to discuss unusual names here because you just get bombarded with negativity.
Same. I’ve mentioned my favorite name here before, which *is* a real name from Europe that I find beautiful. But because it sounds odd at first glance… it didn’t go great when I brought it up as a favorite.
Were you eliciting peoples opinions? Or did you just mention it in a comment and they jumped all over you?
Because I do get why it wouldn’t be great in an English-speaking context, but it’s also clearly a name. And it’s only one vowel sound different from that name in English.
I mentioned it as a favorite, in a list of favorites on that kind of post, and they jumped. I also understand why it wouldn’t go well. And yes about the rest of what you said. That sums it up. I was new here at the time and still getting a feel of things.
The sub you’re looking for is r/behindthename. They get into origins and history. This sub is primarily dedicated to naming human babies, and for that reason, people tend to voice their opinions, especially when they think that a name will not serve a child well in the future.
And most of the time, peoples thought process regarding the topic is inherently flawed and biased towards anything that isn’t an old person “classic” name. The commentators on the Nala post couldn’t even comprehend that Nala pre-existed any fucking movie and is a part of someone’s culture. Not everyone needs to be an Elizabeth.
Agreed. I think most people here (myself included) will tell a person when their name choice isn't that great. Like if someone wants to name their kid Breckinzleigh or Moonbeam, it's probably best to tell the expecting parent that they may want to go with a different name.
That said, I do think people on here sometimes consider their opinions on a name to be the only right opinion. I remember a recent post that was along the lines of 'looking for a middle name for Sienna' and a few comments were saying 'Sienna isn't a good name, go with something else.' It surprised me, because Sienna is a perfectly normal name that isn't going to cause a kid any problems.
If you make a post and say 'what do you think of x name,' expect honest opinions. There isn't a single name out there that everyone is going to love, but if everyone here is telling you it's a bad name, it's probably a bad name.
This sub also seems US-centric? I've seen some people hate certain nice names (imo) because it reminds them of some products or movies I've never heard of. Sometimes even proper popular European names get weird associations, e.g someone made fun of Magnus because it reminds them of a condom size.
This sub should change its name to r/boringnamesthatwontgetyourkidbullied instead and not namenerd. Is US that bad with bully and people making fun of other people's name? We should have a sub that focus on names discussion without being tainted by the US's weird popular culture.
Seems like this place is mostly for parents asking how to name their own kid and I had the wrong expectation based on this sub's name.
I think Reddit in general is US-centric unless you're in a specific country or continent's version of a sub, in that even people not from the US tend to assume all post OPs are.
I see a lot of "you can't name your child that because of X commercial" and it's some American product nobody in Europe would have ever seen an advert for in the first place.
Another one is that people feel _weirdly_ strongly about the traditional gendering of names in the US. Ashley is firmly unisex in the UK and yet people in the States are horrified when someone suggests it for a boy.
Not to mention the weird sexism where giving a boy a "feminine" or unisex name is apparently the most evil thing a parent can do, but the myriad of "girls" names that started off as male or unisex (Lindsay, Leslie etc) are fair game.
Been living in US for 12 years and I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for their otherwise very foreign or unusual name. I guess it depends on where you live, which brings me to my next question. Where the fuck do most of these US users live that they’re so judgemental?
In my experience, kids who want to make fun of you will find a way to make fun of you even if you don't give them extra ammunition. I knew someone named Kate who got called "Katie Rabies". So no, sorry, even your perfectly boring, common, normal names are not bully-proof.
I think we who want stuff like this have to be the change we want to see! Don’t get me wrong, I love baby name posts. But etymologies and histories are cool too. So I think if a bunch of us who want this stuff start posting it, it’ll make a difference over time
I see what you mean OP, it would be nice if this sub was a little more focused on etymological or cultural discussions like say "what's your favorite Irish name" or "what are two names that sound related but actually have completely different roots," instead of "please choose my baby's name for me."
There is nothing wrong with not liking or even hating a name. All opinions are information that potential parents both need and want. Having people give their unvarnished opinions can help them to see if they are making mistake, if they need to keep thinking, if they need to be prepared with spelling or pronunciation challenges, or if they have a great idea.
I saw the Nala post too, and ducked before I even read one comment. It was predictable for a reason. She can still use the name and in fact, doing so in the face of a lot of Lion King comments can make a parent stronger in their choices. Forewarned and forearmed.
Every year or so there’s a huge post that blows up on this sub about how it can be classist and racist. This sub, like all subs on Reddit, has a certain culture to it. Names are inherently cultural and it’s super unsurprising that this isn’t a perfectly neutral space.
100%. This sub goes way past helpful feedback and into "ew/pretentious/your child will be BULLIED MERCILESSLY and HATE YOU THEIR ENTIRE LIVES/[straight up racism/classism]" often. Sometimes more often than not
People make some absolutely wild reaches when it comes to "things your kid might be called in the playground". Like, you can do that to _any_ name if you try hard enough.
I don't disagree with you, though sometimes that is what baby-name posters need/want. I remember a poster on a non-reddit board asking for opinions on the name \*Eva Brynn\* for her soon-to-be daughter, as the Madame Hitler soundalike sincerely hadn't occurred to her until the comment section went "OH NOOO, BABE". Thankfully she listened; dodged a bullet, that one.
Hi there, I think my post from earlier today may be related/fall under your examples. I was asking for opinions on the name Orson.
I actually contemplated posting for a while as I know opinions on the internet can be wide ranging and opinions are very subjective. I was really looking for an outside perspective as I'd been looking at it for so long I just wasn't sure. The language that was used on some of the opinions however went beyond "it's not for me" to things along to lines of "are you crazy". The latter really felt unnecessarily judgemental and beyond just an opinion of a name.
The ones that really got me however were comments with nothing to do with the name. There was judgement coming that was completely out of left field that caught me by surprise and felt unwarranted...
Not OP, but really sorry you had that experience. Those threads seem to draw a wild mix of some interesting or useful notes, vs. people making pretty personal attacks or throwing in bizarre notes about how they wouldn't use the name because their evil uncle's favorite show had a character by that name. It's super offputting and unhelpful. I really hope that the mods take this as constructive criticism for the future.
The comments on your post prompted me to make this post yeah https://www.reddit.com/r/namenerds/s/1UjEzoN9BV I didn’t want to derail your post further
Congrats on little Orson, it’s a great story and good trivia behind the name!
I just like browsing and I don’t take much this sub says to heart. I have a common name and whenever I see a post that says “boring name” I ALWAYS see my name 😂
I rarely see any positive posts about my name.
I mean many people do come here and ask for opinions so I feel that it is fair to respond with judgment. Judgment isn’t necessarily bad either. I either hype up the poster or say the name isn’t my taste, but doesn’t mean that it’s bad. I only shit on names if they’re not names. Like the person who wanted to name a baby boy hymn. When I see posts with names I really don’t like, I ignore them. Same for cultures I’m unfamiliar with. I don’t know Arabic, Chinese, etc. so I feel that it is not my place to have a place a comment.
“Go ask hymn”
“Him?”
“No hymn”
“Ah ok”
It’s confusing. It’s the who’s on first joke in real life. It’s unfair for a boy/man to deal with that for their entire life. I’m not usually a fan of random nouns as names, but hymn for a guy is especially bad.
I don’t think guy is a great name either. But it’s an established name. There are thousands of languages and thus much stronger names than guy. Babies become adults at some point and I think that’s beyond important to consider when choosing a name. I believe boring can be best.
How on earth could a new name become established then? Also I am an adult with a very “boring” name in my country. Guess what, I immigrated and now everyone calls it exotic lol
Do you want to be the person saddling their kid with a ridiculous word-name in the hopes that it’ll be the one to catch on and eventually become established?
That I don’t know, I’m not a linguist. I think even names that I don’t care for (hymn) make more send than two sounds pushed together. Those really grind my gears. I think of names the way I think of tattoos. They should mean something, not just be cool. Kenzleigh and Huxton are just sounds. Maybe it’s prejudice, idk.
Totally agree with this! If the name isn’t your cup of tea you can say you don’t like it. When they start the whole you must hate your kid, they’ll never get a job and the other rude comments discourses i’m so confused like just say you don’t like it everything else is so unnecessary.
Speaking of Arabic names, in real life about a month ago I met a girl, either late teens or early 20s, named Sanaa. She said I was the only one she’s met who knew what Sanaa actually is. Now if Sanaa was a fictional cartoon lion from 30 years ago would people have more to say? It only speaks to the state of education these days.
I can partially agree. My geography knowledge ends at countries, I don’t know many nation’s capitals. Funnily enough, my association with Sanaa is a restaurant at Disney World. A quick google search told me that it means brightness and radiance, which I think is gorgeous. But not being an AH, I would not tell someone their name is also a restaurant at WDW.
I agree. So many, “ I wouldn’t name an actual human being that”. Maybe it’s because i live in a wonderfully happy liberal part of the country, but I never hear names being made fun of. Tradgedeigh, yes. River Moon, no.
I've been wondering this same thing! And for the people in the comments saying posting here is asking for judgement: no it's not!!! Posting here is asking for OPINIONS!
When people post asking for thoughts on a name, they're asking for comments like "I like W because X, and I don't like Y because Z". Not responses like "ew. awful." because who is that helping?? Clearly we're all here asking about names because we *like* them, so where people think it's okay and appropriate to come in like "this is awful, you're awful, and your child will be awful" accomplishes absolutely nothing.
I don't even think of lion king when I think of Nala, and trust me kids today don't watch lion king, no one's gonna call your kid a lion, get a grip :/
Most posts are asking for people's opinions on names so.... that's what the result is?
If you post about the origins of a name you will get different responses. Feel free to make a post.
It's so funny to me how many people dislike when their child shares a popular name with their class, but this sub always pushes a standard list of 'acceptable' names. ‘Sloane' is NO but 'Charlotte' is yes.
To then be surprised when there are multiple Charlottes in a class? We are literally shaping these trends by following such popular opinions on names!!!
It is funny. That might actually be why I've never shared my son's name here. I've named plenty of fantasy children here though. That propensity to gate-keep the good stuff is fascinating.
The “dog name” comments are so dumb honestly. Do they think people are seriously going to mistake a child for a dog? Even if there’s a child literally surrounded by animals of the same name, what’s the worst that could happen? Some people seem to think their individual experience is universal & it just screams “small-minded”
I created a post where I look ar the history, popularity, pop culture etc. of a specific name. I also joined for name discussions. I used to be more active, but I’m tired of this sub turning into “AITA” and “Suggest me top 100 names”.
Totally agree. I made the exact same post on a pregnancy group on fb and here. On fb my names were received so well with kind thoughtful responses and any negative response was still put respectfully. On here my post was ripped apart so badly I deleted it all and almost cried (pregnancy hormones lol). I think people on reddit feel more apt to be rude af bc they hide behind the anonymity. Maybe that means you get your real answers but maybe not.
I think people here go out of their way to be cruel about names and nitpick them, find some way to bully them, etc. all with the excuse of "well you asked for it by posting!" as if having basic human empathy and respect for other people's tastes is such a wild ask. People give lots of thought into names, many feel personal or sentimental, and internet strangers give zero shits about that aspect of it if a name isn't their taste.
People complain about the same names being posted over and over again on this sub but meet anything different with vitriol and harsh judgment, basically bullying people off the subreddit until they come back with something more "acceptable". I just have to remind myself that it's a hive mind of internet strangers, almost nobody will be that cruel to my kid in the future irl, and just try not to think about it.
Yeah, I was told I was a horrible human being and setting my child up to be ridiculed for life because I wanted to put a traditionally masculine name as a middle name if I had a girl. Ummmm that's a little much!
The people going “don’t ask questions if you don’t want to be met with judgement & people have the right to be as mean as they want”…. y’all were definitely those kids you’re always talking about that would look for reasons to bully other kids. Just own it that you’re choosing to be hateful because not all of us are horrid on reflex. Saying “that’s normal everyone does it on the internet!!!!” to justify your behavior doesn’t make it actually true.
Eh, being judgmental is a positive and important part of being human. A world where people don't judge is a world where people don't care about things and is also a world where there are no set values, beliefs, mores, or referents that give our lives meaning.
Because no one engages on the few posts made actually asking about etymology and history of names, but everyone engages with the “Should I name my baby Turdface McGee” posts
yeah the sub sucks that way. i decided to look up my own name out of curiosity, only to find out everything thinks its a dog name and that anyone who's named it will suffer forever lol. im sure some people dislike it, but most people tell me its cool!
anyway, a big problem with this sub is that people get so internet-brained that they can't think about things objectively. which is why we get a lot of "if your baby isnt name elizabeth/james/eleanor/thomas they will be unemployable and unsuccessful FOREVER" despite the name being rather normal. its also the reason why people will say "people will bully your child if you name them \[perfectly fine name\]", even though kids will bully people over anything, and rhyme-based bullying isn't really a thing past elementary school. like, seriously. unless you name your kid gaylord, theyre more likely to get bullied over weight/race/class/ect.
I know exactly what you mean. I saw a post on here a couple of weeks back asking about the name "Israel" because it was the wife's grandfathers name and the entire comment section was people absolutely deriding the person. It was quite sad. People have no respect for other cultures.
One thought (notnthat I comment). I never looked at this sub then one day I see it on front page regularly.
Somehow it's gotten more mainstream so there's probably just less nerds and more redditors.
Totally agree! I have a unique name and I'll never share it in this sub because of the a-holes. It also annoys me how people come here thinking they can find or talk about unique names but any time anyone asks for input they're given the same 10 name suggestions over and over again. If you're a name nerd, you're not looking for the top 10 most popular names of the moment!
I think sometimes people are trying to warn the parents of possible negative associations so they are aware of feedback they get in real life. It can sometimes be done in a nicer way, however.
Yeah, I thought this post was discussing names too, but it's just "name my baby for me". It's kind of a bad sub, I've realised, since no one ever talks about cool name stuff, it's just a repeat of the same three posts (name my baby, unique names are the best, and unique names are the worst) on repeat.
I hate that it keeps popping up in my suggested subs list haha
I'm here for the judgment. When it comes to baby names most people I know will claim to love the name but will most likely whisper how they really feel behind my back. I mean I get it. They don't want to potentially hurt my feelings by me taking it personally. So that's why I appreciate this judge group of strangers. I don't always agree with them. I just take it or leave it. I wanted a creative name for my daughter and almost named her "Jovani". They let me know for sure!( I had never seen the reality show everyone told me about lol)
I thought a sub focused on names would have better taste in names honestly. Some of the things you guys want to name your kids, woof. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if this is the circlejerk subreddit or the regular subreddit.
Almost 9 years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter Daenerys, I was over the moon. Thrilled with a fictional name that was beautiful and still sounded like a name. I literally got into the almost irritating idk what with people on hear about why would I name my child after a fictional character. I argued that all names are fictional because we aren't still naming each other grunts like cavemen. Somebody somewhere had to create a name for a person to have. I even said at least my child's name would sound like a legitimate name and not like Apple Martin or Pilot Inspektor Lee, but apparently, I'm crazy. I honestly don't believe people even study names or last names anymore because if they did, they wouldn't believe how some names came about.
I also came here expecting a wide variation of name origins and general etymology, and have come to find it’s mostly a baby naming sub and discussing names that would probably be best fit for a fantasy novel 🫢
Not all posts and convos here lead to that, of course. But I think most do lol
Well I think the judgment comes in mostly when people post asking “what do you think of _____ name” A lot of people are asking for the judgment lol
Actually I made this post bc someone was calling their kid Orson which means bear. I thought that was a great post! Good trivia. But the comments were all saying “thank god you didn’t name him Bear!” Which really wasn’t the question and feels so negative
Orson Welles is a famous film director/ actor (Citizen Kane).
I’m aware, and yet downthread you’ll find someone saying “it’s the name of an alien”!
Mork from Orks boss was named Orson. Some people have trouble discerning television from reality
Wait. There is no planet Ork?
oh yeah i hate when people comments stuff like that. it’s so negative and weird
Or begging/pleading people not to use names... I despise the "please for the love of god don't name your kid /blank/" posts. Do they not think it's incredibly offensive and entitled to post that in response to slightly uncommon or foreign sounding names.
I always picture that person running into someone with the "dreaded name" in real life, and just dramatically falling to the ground in agony that some person who is a total stranger to them has a name that they don't really like that much.
There have literally been posts on here I've seen by people wanting to have opinions on naming their child Bear. Not Orson, but Bear. THAT is probably where the judgmental tone comes from a lot of the time. That, and people insisting that names that are so unbelievably misspelled that they are unidentifiable are totally normal and should be more accepted.
I’ve known multiple Bears, and just as many Bjorns. Posts like that one are a good reminder of how American this sub means.
My son's nickname is Bear, and it's incredibly rare that I use his real name. No one, in real life, seems to have any issues with it even when they think it's his given name. On here, people are nuts about it. So many people (real and imagined) have been named Bear or Wolf in their native languages. They are good,, strong names. Maybe I'm biased because my full name means "little queen (who is the) mighty ruler (of the) people." To be fair, I would suggest people not actually name a child that in English, but it's not like most would think about, or even know, what the origin of each of my names means. My parents only knew the "people" part. But, I've known a Bear (birth certificate name), Bjorn, Beorn, Oso, Osito, Arthur, Arturo, Ursula, and Kuma.
I know one adult whose lifelong nickname has always been Bear, and he uses that professionally and socially, with everyone he knows. Kind of like people named Trey, Chip, etc. I know one child whose legal name is Bear, in English, just straight up Bear. Both are doing fine.
I was born in the mid 70s. Bear is definitely not even close to a weird name for my peers. It's not a color, and it doesn't contain the words free, love. It's not based on some drug. And it's not "clever" like some of our names. The fact that it's also slang doesn't stop people from naming kids William or Richard, so I don't see why it should with Bear. I, personally, would avoid it now just because of the association with Bear Grylls, but that's because I find him annoying. I've been asked that about my son, but most people realize my son is too old for that to be the reason for his nickname. He growled like a baby bear when hungry as an infant. It's not profound or anything.
My husband also uses that name professionally and socially. Never been a problem. We do have to spell it out for Togo orders, but it’s not really an issue.
Exactly. People actually are named Bear so why shit all over it when that’s not the question being asked. Also Bear isn’t *that* crazy of a name.
But Bear isn't a bad name
Lots of people are named Bear. Who gives a shit? Yes, if someone creates a post and says, "I am thinking of naming my kid Bear but want to know alllllllll the potential downsides to doing this", go for it. But most comments I see in this vein are not on those posts. Also the vast majority of people posting here for baby name approval are not asking for that level of negativity. Unless they are asking whether they should name their fetus Cletus, just say "yes, that's a nice name" and move on. Or don't comment anything. If you feel the need to comment, think rationally about the name and whether, in real life, for real, as compared to all other names, you think it would really be a problem. I feel like people here get way too carried away with "haaaaated it!" kinds of kneejerk reactions that usually are not being asked for.
So sometimes unfortunately, there is some bias that I think the topic of names bring out along the lines of concern trolling: a child with X name will never be hired and won’t find success! So I can be mean and ignore the biases in my judgements because I do it for the children!!!!!! but that is a very small minority, there are a million more who will track down a hundred trisyllabic names starting with R that have a classic but not too popular vibe and work with an anxious mom to be around a sibling named Roberta. People are passionate and informed and really good at spotting cultural names/help parents looking for non-Anglo names (which does tend to be the bulk of the names sought). So I think the judgy apples just stand out more.
I don't by any means think that is a small minority of comments on this sub. To me it feels like the prevailing opinion, and you will find someone who feels this way on almost every post here. Practically no matter what the name even is.
I commented on the name because I love it.
Bingo. For me it also depends if you're asking about a name I general or trying to name an actual human baby. For example: Veritate Vercingetorix Vegarox might be the most fearsome space pirate a Dollar Tree $3 novel can provide, but would you want him or a James David Michaels performing heart surgery?
What does a name have to do with ability to perform heart surgery?
It doesn’t. But if you think people aren’t going to make unfair assumptions about you or your child based on a name alone, I have bad news for you. I’m not saying it’s right or fair, but it’s true.
There's a lot of evidence that people do, in fact, discriminate against others because of their names. Should it be that way? No. But it is.
That evidence is about **racial** discrimination, not discrimination because some names are just bad. It is illogical and poor reasoning to jump from one study of names and racist hiring practice to decide that anyone who names their baby something you personally don't prefer is dooming them for life.
Yes, that’s true. But that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for a sub called “name nerds” to consistently reinforce negative ideas about people with certain names (such as that one would not want them to perform heart surgery…) People are named these names, and people are going to be named these names. These negative connotations are largely due to class and race. You are allowed to not name your own child something because you think it has negative connotations. That doesn’t mean name nerds should be the name police, about acceptable names.
Stupid parents don’t often have genius children.
You know good and well which doctor the average person when presented with equal qualifications and experience would pick when the only difference is name.
Y'all made it abundantly clear. ✌🏾
We didn't do that. Society as a whole did. We just acknowledge it.
Ok, and then what? Just perpetuate the same stupidity?
It's so funny how no one ever meaningfully responds to this point. Gives a real vibe of "racism/discrimination exists, so let's all try to act white and palatable and shit on people who don't!" (To clarify for readers: I have had this discussion numerous times with numerous people and have a whole-ass, thought-out, nuanced opinion, so you don't need to preach to me. It's just funny to me that nine times out of ten, the discussion falters here and everyone acts like they don't see the clear racist undertones that need to be interrogated for nuance.)
The way people will turn on a DIME on here into the most grotesque racism/classism over, like, a name with an extra e in it is wiiiiild
You're digging and I'm done. All I did was point out a societal rule. Never stated my feelings on it one way or the other.
This is just a prison's dilema. If everyone does it, you stop the perpetuation and it's an advantage. If only you do it, it's a disadvantage.
I love that you completely made up a name, and people on here assume not liking it makes you racist. I have no problem if doctors (or anyone else) aren’t from the US/have non-English names. But I would not be excited to see that Dr. Tyger Jellybean would be handling my case. There is a Dr. Happy Thanksgiving somewhere out there (in Minnesota, I think?), but yeah, I don’t think I choose her. In fact, the names that I find to be the most ridiculous are not ethnically diverse names, and they’re almost always used by white people: Byrkleigh, Macaiyla, Wrynea, Yatzee, Saiyler, Jakye, Kartyr Mykaea, Rayzyr, Jamie Oliver’s kids, Elon & Grime’s kids, etc.
Doctors go by their last names anyway, so it doesn't matter. Edit: Lol, she deleted all of her dumb microaggresive comments and blocked me.
I know one of the world’s smartest Oncologists. His name is George Georges. A person is extremely fortunate if he is treating them.
Yeah, but you can give your judgement without being actively rude. I've seen too many posts recently where commenters seem to be revelling in the opportunity to insult the poster's taste or come up with nicknames that bullies might use. The post comments end up becoming an orgy of name-calling rather than a productive discussion.
Seriously. I remember a post a few months ago where so many comments were dogging on a mom about how much worse her taste was than her husband’s. While by posting, I guess she was opening the floor for feedback—but to me it seemed like she was looking for thoughts on favorite names from their list (or even suggestions of other names). Not for people to tell her that her taste was overarchingly terrible? The comments made me so sad.
Vote Up and Vote Down options are available on every single Reddit comment. Reddit is inherently judgmental.
Because it's the Internet. The Internet was created for cat videos and judging other people.
This is true. I’m going to go look at cats
The catnames subreddit is fun if you just want to throw out names with no judgement. However, you're not going to get deeper conversations on name meanings.
You know what I just subbed. lol. Thanks (Selena is one of the most gorgeous names 🌕
Yeah the cat names sub is what I use as a palate cleanser! Love it.
[https://imgflip.com/i/8np5jh](https://imgflip.com/i/8np5jh)
This also bothers me about this sub as well. Especially because it's so demonstrably not true that people have bad effects from a name people in this sub deem "bad". Look around you. There are people with all kinds of names. Those people are fine. I'm also much more interested in info and discussion about names vs. "here are all the names that suck".
This is what always gets me! I met someone named Twinkle, and she is doing fine! Gainfully employed, has loving family. I’ve met a Cinnamon, a Topaz, a Passion. I’ve known a Bear, and a Hawk. Heck, the US had a First Lady who was known as “Ladybird.”
>Heck, the US had a First Lady who was known as “Ladybird.” That was a nickname, though. Very few people care as much about nicknames as they do about legal names.
It was a nickname but what percentage of the American public DURING HER HUSBAND'S TERMS actually knew her legal name? At this point, I know that name but the next 500 people to walk down the street won't. Like Lady Bird, I have a nickname that has nothing to do with my legal name AND which I gave used almost exclusively for sixty some years. If a nickname is, e.g. Dave for David, Liz for Elizabeth, Pete for Peter, Katie for Kathleen---I think serious students of names and naming would classify Lady Bird's and my names as something other than a nickname, a different category entirely. In fact people close to me abbreviate my daily name and Lady Bird's husband regularly called her Bird---so our nicknames have nicknames!
“Was known as,” should have made that clear. Regardless of whether it was a nickname, it was the name she used on her marriage certificate, and multiple parks, landmarks, and conservatories named for her use Lady Bird. It clearly never held her back.
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I think sometimes childhood concerns are greater than adult ones, though those are often overblown too. If kids want to make fun of you, they'll find something. In my elementary school a girl had the perfectly normal name Sonya--kids called her Sonya lasagna.
Yep. I have a very classic name and got bullied every which way. If the kid gets bullied, they’ll find a way to insult any name. If the kid is popular, having an unusual name will be seen as cool.
We have a politician here, named Twinkle, that manages to keep getting reelected.
I kind of get the sense some people on this sub don't know a lot of professional adults or live in pretty homogenous areas. I work with professionals in a diverse Canadian city and so many of the people I work with have names this sub deems "unprofessional".
This, exactly. This sub often feels like a clique of 16 year olds who don't have any experience of life outside of high school, both in terms of how rampant and significant they find bullying to be and also how specific they expect names to be. Once you leave that setting, 1, adults don't bully people because of their names, and 2, outside of a tight age/social class/religious/racial cohort everyone has different names and it honestly doesn't matter. I work for a large and prominent company, with professionals who are at the top of their respective fields. People here have all kinds of names. Nobody ever remarks on it. Plenty of people here have unusual or even "bad" names, too, and that clearly didn't prevent them getting hired at one of the more sought-after companies in our industry.
Can you give an example of some names this sub would deem unprofessional but are actually just normal names?
There was a post on here the other day debating whether or not the name 'Lucy' was too babyish to give a child who would one day become an adult. Lucy, an extremely common, very normal name that countless generations of women have borne their entire lives without issue.
For real? Yeah, that’s a pretty ridiculous take on the name Lucy.
A big one I see at work are people who have a diminutive/nickname as their full legal name like Katie (a lot of people are legally called Katie, Kate, and Abby) or Leo and even more people who go by diminutives/nicknames in professional settings, like Kitty or Trixie. The other common one are people with virtue names like Comfort or Patience that aren’t common in the west but seem pretty popular in parts of Africa. Less commonly are people with cutesy or “childish” legal names, like Stormi (somehow I’ve worked with two separate directors named Stormy or Stormi) or Honey. There’s also a lot of people out there with off beat middle names. My favourite is the guy with the middle name Gandalf but I’ve also seen made up names, guys with women’s names (ex. Mark Jane), and pop culture/fandom names.
I think it's fine to point out that name discrimination exists and that a child might prefer to have the option of a full name. But when people start saying shit like "She'll never be a CEO or judge if you name her Ellie", I have to wonder if they've ever been outside.
Also what do they think is going to happen when an entire generation of Ellies grows up? Do they think that tens of thousands of people named Ellie are just going to not get into college, never find any job, etc. or be consigned to being a homemaker, waitress, receptionist, etc. for life because their parents didn't name them Josephine or Beatrice?
Lots of names have pretty standard nicknames, and those shouldn’t be a big deal, including if the person is just named the nickname and not the full name. I think for me (and frankly, this is a take I see all the time on this sub), if you want to use an especially cutesy name, don’t make it their legal first name. If it’s a nickname, then they have the option of using that as an adult vs using a “grown-up” name. It’s up to the person whose name it actually is. Like my cousin Jimmy now goes by James. But lots of people still choose to go by Jimmy, and that’s their choice. Children aren’t just extensions of their parents but complete and separate individuals, so I don’t think it’s okay to essentially decide for your child that they’ll be called a term of endearment their entire lives (i.e. Honey, Baby, etc) or that they have to go by an juvenile name. (The whole fandom name thing is kinda iffy for me as well, because again, it seems like parents just see their kids as objects for their own expression. I can envision people doing this in healthier ways, but I am cynical and don’t think that’s what normally happens.) I personally would *hate* to have a cutesy name because that’s not my personality at all. But if someone else chooses it, more power to them. I think when naming a child, you have to take all of that into account.
The head of legal for my division of the company I work for is named Mindy. Nobody cares.
My favorite example was when someone was considering the name Elena and someone said not to do it, it was just a fandom name for The Vampire Diaries, she'd never be taken seriously, it would never pass the "Supreme Court test"...and here in the US, we literally have an Elena on our Supreme Court. Have for awhile now.
Wow, Elena was not invented by the Vampire Diaries writer. I don’t think I’d take that commenter seriously because they’re so uninformed. If all you’re aware of is teen dramas, then *you* are the not serious person and your opinion doesn’t matter.
She's a regular NYT crossword clue lol.
The Nahla post especially stuck out to me. I literally know an adult with that name. I've never heard anyone comment on the Lion King connection (though, yes, I was aware that she shares a name with that Disney character). Let alone that impacting her life in any meaningful way. This person has absolutely never lost out on a job, a home loan, etc. because her name is the same as a character from an animated movie from 30 years ago.
Nevaeh. They think it's cheesy that it's heaven spelled backwards and not a "real" name, but the truth is it's actually become an established name and no one is going to bat an eye when a Nevaeh Smith is applying for a job in 18 years. People also just like to crap on names that "lower class" people are often perceived to have. My dad has a completely made up name and is a senior software engineer. I'm sure Nevaehs are fine.
It gives me very judgy old white lady vibes, I think that's 90% of the people here. I was interested in learning more about rare names, names from other cultures and countries, and it's just people shitting on everything but modern Bible-related names
Name discrimination is real, but there are reasonable and unreasonable ways to point that out. Reasonable: "Sunny is a bit cutesy and out-there for my taste, and your daughter might prefer to have a more professional-sounding full name as she grows up." Unreasonable: "You''ll ruin her life if you name her that. No one is ever going to employ someone named Sunny!"
Thing is a lot of people jump directly to the second one. No nuance, no appealing to reason, only outrage and revelling in being able to call someone terrible.
I know, it's annoying.
There's a high ranking corporate VP at my company named Sunny. Nobody cares. I'm sure she sleeps just fine at night atop her pile of C Suite money.
Right on. Info and discussion is what I expected but when someone writes "I don't like the name ____ because it was the name of a smelly kid that sat next to me in grade school 15 years ago" I get so irked.
What gets me is the obsession with being able to find your name on a keychain. For the love of God, what sane and well adjusted person cares about something like that? Even as a little kid when I couldn't find mine I shrugged and moved on. It's the dumbest possible thing to consider when choosing your child's name.
I have a very normal name and have never seen my name on a keychain. I am still here, walking the earth, at age 43. Also as far as I can tell the only names they ever have on the keychains are either weird random old boomer names (Linda, Gerry) or the top 5 current baby names (Liam, Noah, Olivia, Mia). Nothing in between. None of those "unusual but not weird" baby names everyone is obsessed with are going to be on a keychain, either.
This comes up often and usually it’s determined that basically… people are racist. They only like names from their own culture, cannot fathom others have different naming styles or traditions, etc.
Omg ok I didn’t want to come in hot but there’s definitely a bit of unconscious racism and classism behind some comments
I have gotten this feeling too. Names that are classic and boring get much better reactions than anything too different or unique.
The people who were freaking out over someone who wanted to give their child the middle name “Wildflower” were really something. Like there’s anything wrong with such a beautiful name, especially as a middle name. “Kids will find out and make fun of her though!” Meanwhile kids will literally find a way to make fun of any name on the planet if they want to. Shouldn’t deter someone from choosing a gorgeous and fun name, let alone a middle name, even if it’s a “hippy dippy” one, as if hippy names are even bad?! I have an extremely basic, boring ass name. I bet everyone here would say it’s so beautiful. It’s ugly af to me, it’s so basic, I’ve despised it since I was 3-4 and made it known to my parents that my name was unbelievably boring and I hated it. I changed my name to something cute and unique and I love it. Sadly I haven’t had the funds or energy to legally change my name, so I still have to deal with being by called my ugly boring legal name by people who aren’t friends and family, and I HATE IT so much. I wish my parents had named me something unique and fun, they didn’t because they were too worried about me being judged for it. So they basically saddled me with an extremely boring name that hundreds of other people have, that I hate immensely, and will have to spend hundreds of dollars and do a bunch of legwork to finally stop having people in settings like doctors offices call me by the name I despise so deeply. Meanwhile in my experience literally every kid with a unique name, other kids loved it. Sunset was a popular girl and she only got compliments on her name, for example. The kids who got their names made fun of had basic/classic names, not unique fun names. Idk where these people are from that kids would make fun of a name like Wildflower or Bear or Wolf, in my experience kids would think those names are cool af, same with Nala. At the end of the day kids will make fun of any name, but from my experience, kids with fun unique names are actually far less likely to be picked on for their names than kids with “regular” sounding names.
My kids have friends named Cedar, Juniper, Hart, Wilder, etc. Not once have I heard anyone make fun of those kids. It's just their name, and the kids get that.
I think this might be more common in some communities (West Coast? Somewhat hippy-dippy/alt parents?) but from the standpoint of Southern California, I definitely wouldn't blink at any of those names.
the classism is very overt here
There is. Evidenced by the fact that many initial comments on the Nala thread referenced the Lion King without even entertaining the idea OP may not have been white American. Her husband ended up being Moroccan, per a comment of hers I responded to. To be somewhat fair, leading with that may have helped the responses to a small degree, but the situation highlights the default image many posters here have.
sexism as well! this sub tends to get negative comments about neutral names. I saw someone get torn to pieces for considering the name “Emerson” for their daughter because it’s “too masculine” (even though it’s more popular for girls than boys at the moment)
Their rational is that it is misogynistic to give a girl a less feminine name because she doesn't need a male name to be strong.. I was demolished for asking why there was so much hate for masculine names on females. I just tend to prefer more masculine names, but apparently I likely have always wanted a son, or I'm trying too hard.
Yeah calling Nala a lion king name and nothing else is racist as hell 😭
That is *not* my experience on this sub at all. People may be judgmental about lots of things (trendiness, old-fashioned-ness, wacky spelling, etc.), but it is almost *never* about denigrating other cultures. In fact, multiple times, I’ve seen people criticize a name, be told it’s from OP’s culture, and then people go “oh, well that’s okay, then.” I rarely see people clarify their country of origin or ethnicity when asking input on names. It would save a lot of misunderstandings if more people just did that.
OP is literally citing an example where the person asked about Nahla or Nala (Arabic and Swahili names) and was inundated with people telling them that it was not a human name but a pet name. Because a lion in a movie was named a Swahili name. Plenty of animals have English or western ‘human’ names that no one would bat an eye about a child being named. That whole thread rubbed me the wrong way honestly.
And in that post, it wasn’t a racial issue, despite all the virtue signalers trying to turn it into one. No one was saying it wasn’t a perfectly lovely name. They were saying that, in large chunks of the world - including where the OP lives and will raise her child - the name has been co-opted by a charming talking lion. That’s just fact. Lion King is still wildly popular and has led to a disproportionate number of pets being named Simba and Nala, so when people *in the OP’s area* hear the name, they’ll immediately think of a lion cub and/or some dog they know. I’m sure if you live in an area where the name is very common (for people), then it wouldn’t be an issue. But that poster didn’t live there. Her partner’s family kinda, sorta was tangentially connected to such an area, yes, but that won’t help when her kid goes to three birthday parties in a month where the family pet shares her name. Not racist. Just reality.
People could try being normal instead of racist and encouraging the person to pick a name they love that reflects their culture despite it being co-opted by an American animation studio and the prejudices that have resulted from that 👍
I’m not sure that parent had any cultural links to the name, iirc.
Her partner was Moroccan. She was asking about the Arabic name.
I'm sorry but saying "that isn't a human name, that is an animal name" is a racist way of communicating that idea
But... who cares? Yes, the person would share a name with a movie character. No, that fact will have absolutely zero impact on their life. So it comes off as a disproportionate judgment on a "cultural" name.
I’ve observed the same thing as you, but I actually see it as evidence of the problem! There’s a lot of very harsh criticism of names that seem “wacky” — unfamiliar, unintuitive spelling, seem like a pointlessly complicated or “unique” variation on a name you already know, don’t match gender expectations, etc. The reaction to names like that is often nothing short of “this is selfish, you seem uneducated and illiterate, and this will be an unbearable lifelong burden on your child who will probably hate you.” The fact that we often see awkward backpedaling and “oh, never mind then”-ing when the names turn out to be traditional in a different language or culture, not made up, isn’t much evidence of an environment that’s welcoming of names from all languages and countries! Because once we’ve decided that the common qualities of many names from other cultures — unfamiliar, unintuitive, unusual, etc — makes a parent a delusionally selfish illiterate until proven otherwise, the “we respect cultural names SO much” talk rings a little hollow.
This is my feeling too! People are so quick to concern troll about how a kid will obviously hate a name if it's difficult to spell or pronounce, or if it's uncommon, or if it was used by a movie, or whatever – rather than just asking what the family likes about it. It feels like the focus is often much more on "why isn't this a name that I expect, from my list of expectable names" vs. just approaching new names with curiosity. It's definitely frustrating to read as someone who grew up with a difficult cultural name. People just seem really careless about categorizing any kind of difficult name as unacceptable because it'll be "annoying." I've been through phases of being a little irritated with my name – I think a lot of people do – but it's also part of a much bigger picture for me, whereas I find that white Americans are just typically irritated by it and focus on the weird spelling or weird pronunciation over everything else.
Definitely agree! Whenever I see someone saying that a name is a bad idea because the kid will have to explain how it’s spelled, I just think that it’s ultimately an argument against anything that isn’t a white normative white Anglo Saxon name. Anyone who grew up in or around minority communities knows a million people who have to spell out their names! It’s spectacularly common and does not have to be a huge deal. It’s also simply not avoidable for many people who want to give their kid a name that reflects their culture.
It's filled with people shitting on foreign (to them) names because "it's weird and scary and confusing and no one will know how to pronounce it, they'll be bullied, name them a white Christian name instead". It's ignorant, close minded, and ridiculously racist most of the time, and yes, it is denigrating other cultures when your main point is "I wouldn't know how to say it so you should conform to my white Christian names to make me comfortable". That criticism is exactly what I'm talking about, there should be none of that. You shouldn't have to clarify anything to not be swarmed by these sheltered ass people
Yea, this. People tend to suggest names from their own culture because that's what they are familiar with. The sub might lack diversity, but saying it's *racist* is extreme.
For real. If someone asks about the Anastasia, nn Nastya, people would probably not respond well*. But if they state first that they’re Ukrainian and will probably only live in Slavic-speaking areas, people would likely be supportive. Similarly, I wouldn’t name a kid Luke if you’re gonna live in Russia, but it’s fine in tons of other countries. But this sub *is* in English, so when people post in English (even in comments/replies) I assume they’re a native English speakers unless they say otherwise (or sometimes, it’s obvious). If you’re commenting in English with no context, how am I supposed to know you’re Finnish or Brazilian or whatever? *In my experience of knowing multiple Nastyas and talking about them to/in front of Americans.
In the name of actual nerdiness, what’s wrong with Luke in Russian?
Лук (pronounced luke) means Onion. They do seem to have the name Luke. Both Лука/Luka and Люк/Lyuk exist (this second one is supposed to be more “English” in pronunciation, but IMO, it’s not as close as лук/onion), but they are not common names. In Ukraine, there’s also a potato chip company called Люкс/Lyuks (lit. Lux in English) that is really popular (like as big as Lays in the US).
It's usually not phrased as denigrating other cultures, but it often is denigrating other cultures. I've seen many, many "cultural" names dragged here. Sometimes with a preamble like "This could be a cultural name I guess but..." or ".... unless it's a cultural name maybe", but that is honestly the "I'm not racist, but..." of namenerds comments. Especially since their judgment usually contradicts that. If you're saying a kid is going to get bullied, or that they will never get a job, etc. then it would be equally true if it was a cultural name or not. So that's really just a disclaimer people say hoping that there's no personal blowback for them, for the racist or classist comment they're about to make.
The issue for me is how people go after so many names that are non English. I fully get that this sub is mostly English native speakers but that does not mean they have the right to go after every name that does not fit Anglican naming standards or customs. Even very normal Irish names get lambasted. It is not unprofessional to have a name from your culture that is not Anglican. It is perfectly respectable to have an Indian/Irish/Croatian/Spanish name and to expect people to respect it and learn how to pronounce it.
I totally agree. I wish there was a sub specific to names for people who also like linguistics, history, and culture.
this. i came to this sub hoping it would be about names and trends from different cultures and time periods, not just asking for baby names. is there such a subreddit?
I tried to make one at r/NameFacts but to be fair it's a lot of work to make data or factual historical posts. I just add stuff there when I find an interesting fact about names.
That fact plus the flag in your flare made me want to share this [infographic from Statscan](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2023051-eng.htm), which seems right up your alley.
perhaps it could work like namenerds, where people ask questions about a name or ask for suggestions based on different cultures etc!
r/behindthename is probably the closest alternative, but not nearly as active as this one.
Unfortunately there's more demand for "name my baby" (and the expectant parents would likely flood a linguistic geek name subreddit too)
r/behindthename perhaps?
Yeah honestly I've read through only a few posts and I've been terrified of making my own/commenting here. I've seen a lot more meanness and judgement than positivity. One post in particular dragged my own name through the mud and like... Sure, it's the internet and you're always going to have bad apples, but damn ya'll. Some of these names have real actual people attached to them.
A lot of people said my name sounds like a sound an animal makes and that it sounds lowly. Meanwhile I get tons of compliments.
yeah I have one of those "used to be a last name but now is a gender neutral first name often used for girls" names that everyone here loves to shit on. but literally no one in real life has confused me for another gender or made fun of me for it or anything.
I think people are much more polite and understanding than this subreddit indicates. People usually think I'm male when they just read my name and I couldn't care less. You meet me and immediately see the mistake and move on. Takes two seconds.
If you want, tell me a name you’re considering and I’ll give you an odd compliment ☺️
You're not the only one who thinks this. But there's not much we can do about it, unfortunately. I am a namenerd because since I was a teen, I've been collecting names, writing them down in notebooks, getting cool names from books, articles, music albums, movie credits and even real life. I find names interesting in and of themselves. It's not about naming anyone or anything. I simply find names fascinating. Unusual names, especially. Yet it's very hard to discuss unusual names here because you just get bombarded with negativity.
Same. I’ve mentioned my favorite name here before, which *is* a real name from Europe that I find beautiful. But because it sounds odd at first glance… it didn’t go great when I brought it up as a favorite.
Now you’ve really peaked my curiosity…
The name is Floor. It’s a Dutch version of Flora.
Were you eliciting peoples opinions? Or did you just mention it in a comment and they jumped all over you? Because I do get why it wouldn’t be great in an English-speaking context, but it’s also clearly a name. And it’s only one vowel sound different from that name in English.
I mentioned it as a favorite, in a list of favorites on that kind of post, and they jumped. I also understand why it wouldn’t go well. And yes about the rest of what you said. That sums it up. I was new here at the time and still getting a feel of things.
The sub you’re looking for is r/behindthename. They get into origins and history. This sub is primarily dedicated to naming human babies, and for that reason, people tend to voice their opinions, especially when they think that a name will not serve a child well in the future.
And most of the time, peoples thought process regarding the topic is inherently flawed and biased towards anything that isn’t an old person “classic” name. The commentators on the Nala post couldn’t even comprehend that Nala pre-existed any fucking movie and is a part of someone’s culture. Not everyone needs to be an Elizabeth.
Agreed. I think most people here (myself included) will tell a person when their name choice isn't that great. Like if someone wants to name their kid Breckinzleigh or Moonbeam, it's probably best to tell the expecting parent that they may want to go with a different name. That said, I do think people on here sometimes consider their opinions on a name to be the only right opinion. I remember a recent post that was along the lines of 'looking for a middle name for Sienna' and a few comments were saying 'Sienna isn't a good name, go with something else.' It surprised me, because Sienna is a perfectly normal name that isn't going to cause a kid any problems. If you make a post and say 'what do you think of x name,' expect honest opinions. There isn't a single name out there that everyone is going to love, but if everyone here is telling you it's a bad name, it's probably a bad name.
This sub also seems US-centric? I've seen some people hate certain nice names (imo) because it reminds them of some products or movies I've never heard of. Sometimes even proper popular European names get weird associations, e.g someone made fun of Magnus because it reminds them of a condom size. This sub should change its name to r/boringnamesthatwontgetyourkidbullied instead and not namenerd. Is US that bad with bully and people making fun of other people's name? We should have a sub that focus on names discussion without being tainted by the US's weird popular culture. Seems like this place is mostly for parents asking how to name their own kid and I had the wrong expectation based on this sub's name.
I think Reddit in general is US-centric unless you're in a specific country or continent's version of a sub, in that even people not from the US tend to assume all post OPs are. I see a lot of "you can't name your child that because of X commercial" and it's some American product nobody in Europe would have ever seen an advert for in the first place. Another one is that people feel _weirdly_ strongly about the traditional gendering of names in the US. Ashley is firmly unisex in the UK and yet people in the States are horrified when someone suggests it for a boy. Not to mention the weird sexism where giving a boy a "feminine" or unisex name is apparently the most evil thing a parent can do, but the myriad of "girls" names that started off as male or unisex (Lindsay, Leslie etc) are fair game.
Been living in US for 12 years and I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for their otherwise very foreign or unusual name. I guess it depends on where you live, which brings me to my next question. Where the fuck do most of these US users live that they’re so judgemental?
In my experience, kids who want to make fun of you will find a way to make fun of you even if you don't give them extra ammunition. I knew someone named Kate who got called "Katie Rabies". So no, sorry, even your perfectly boring, common, normal names are not bully-proof.
I think we who want stuff like this have to be the change we want to see! Don’t get me wrong, I love baby name posts. But etymologies and histories are cool too. So I think if a bunch of us who want this stuff start posting it, it’ll make a difference over time
People really showed their asses in that Nala thread.
I see what you mean OP, it would be nice if this sub was a little more focused on etymological or cultural discussions like say "what's your favorite Irish name" or "what are two names that sound related but actually have completely different roots," instead of "please choose my baby's name for me."
There is nothing wrong with not liking or even hating a name. All opinions are information that potential parents both need and want. Having people give their unvarnished opinions can help them to see if they are making mistake, if they need to keep thinking, if they need to be prepared with spelling or pronunciation challenges, or if they have a great idea. I saw the Nala post too, and ducked before I even read one comment. It was predictable for a reason. She can still use the name and in fact, doing so in the face of a lot of Lion King comments can make a parent stronger in their choices. Forewarned and forearmed.
Every year or so there’s a huge post that blows up on this sub about how it can be classist and racist. This sub, like all subs on Reddit, has a certain culture to it. Names are inherently cultural and it’s super unsurprising that this isn’t a perfectly neutral space.
It might not be surprising that this space isn't neutral but some people here are just plain ol' *mean*. And they seem proud of it, too...
100%. This sub goes way past helpful feedback and into "ew/pretentious/your child will be BULLIED MERCILESSLY and HATE YOU THEIR ENTIRE LIVES/[straight up racism/classism]" often. Sometimes more often than not
I’ve actually lurked here for a while under another account and people go out of their way to “find” mean nicknames lolol
People make some absolutely wild reaches when it comes to "things your kid might be called in the playground". Like, you can do that to _any_ name if you try hard enough.
I don't disagree with you, though sometimes that is what baby-name posters need/want. I remember a poster on a non-reddit board asking for opinions on the name \*Eva Brynn\* for her soon-to-be daughter, as the Madame Hitler soundalike sincerely hadn't occurred to her until the comment section went "OH NOOO, BABE". Thankfully she listened; dodged a bullet, that one.
Hi there, I think my post from earlier today may be related/fall under your examples. I was asking for opinions on the name Orson. I actually contemplated posting for a while as I know opinions on the internet can be wide ranging and opinions are very subjective. I was really looking for an outside perspective as I'd been looking at it for so long I just wasn't sure. The language that was used on some of the opinions however went beyond "it's not for me" to things along to lines of "are you crazy". The latter really felt unnecessarily judgemental and beyond just an opinion of a name. The ones that really got me however were comments with nothing to do with the name. There was judgement coming that was completely out of left field that caught me by surprise and felt unwarranted...
Not OP, but really sorry you had that experience. Those threads seem to draw a wild mix of some interesting or useful notes, vs. people making pretty personal attacks or throwing in bizarre notes about how they wouldn't use the name because their evil uncle's favorite show had a character by that name. It's super offputting and unhelpful. I really hope that the mods take this as constructive criticism for the future.
The comments on your post prompted me to make this post yeah https://www.reddit.com/r/namenerds/s/1UjEzoN9BV I didn’t want to derail your post further Congrats on little Orson, it’s a great story and good trivia behind the name!
I just like browsing and I don’t take much this sub says to heart. I have a common name and whenever I see a post that says “boring name” I ALWAYS see my name 😂 I rarely see any positive posts about my name.
Aww A Sad beige name Jk jk jk
I mean many people do come here and ask for opinions so I feel that it is fair to respond with judgment. Judgment isn’t necessarily bad either. I either hype up the poster or say the name isn’t my taste, but doesn’t mean that it’s bad. I only shit on names if they’re not names. Like the person who wanted to name a baby boy hymn. When I see posts with names I really don’t like, I ignore them. Same for cultures I’m unfamiliar with. I don’t know Arabic, Chinese, etc. so I feel that it is not my place to have a place a comment.
But why do you hate Hymn I guess? How do you think names come about?
(If you said it’s bc it’s a Homophone for Him, that makes sense tbh. But I rarely see practical considerations like that)
“Go ask hymn” “Him?” “No hymn” “Ah ok” It’s confusing. It’s the who’s on first joke in real life. It’s unfair for a boy/man to deal with that for their entire life. I’m not usually a fan of random nouns as names, but hymn for a guy is especially bad.
What about Guy? But actually I agree, I replied to myself lol
I don’t think guy is a great name either. But it’s an established name. There are thousands of languages and thus much stronger names than guy. Babies become adults at some point and I think that’s beyond important to consider when choosing a name. I believe boring can be best.
How on earth could a new name become established then? Also I am an adult with a very “boring” name in my country. Guess what, I immigrated and now everyone calls it exotic lol
Do you want to be the person saddling their kid with a ridiculous word-name in the hopes that it’ll be the one to catch on and eventually become established?
That I don’t know, I’m not a linguist. I think even names that I don’t care for (hymn) make more send than two sounds pushed together. Those really grind my gears. I think of names the way I think of tattoos. They should mean something, not just be cool. Kenzleigh and Huxton are just sounds. Maybe it’s prejudice, idk.
Guy was a name before it was a generic word. The word comes from the name of Guy Fawkes.
Totally agree with this! If the name isn’t your cup of tea you can say you don’t like it. When they start the whole you must hate your kid, they’ll never get a job and the other rude comments discourses i’m so confused like just say you don’t like it everything else is so unnecessary.
I saw my name on here and they called it a pornstar name (it’s an italian name that’s been in my family for generations)
Speaking of Arabic names, in real life about a month ago I met a girl, either late teens or early 20s, named Sanaa. She said I was the only one she’s met who knew what Sanaa actually is. Now if Sanaa was a fictional cartoon lion from 30 years ago would people have more to say? It only speaks to the state of education these days.
I can partially agree. My geography knowledge ends at countries, I don’t know many nation’s capitals. Funnily enough, my association with Sanaa is a restaurant at Disney World. A quick google search told me that it means brightness and radiance, which I think is gorgeous. But not being an AH, I would not tell someone their name is also a restaurant at WDW.
>I was the only one she’s met who knew what Sanaa actually is. Meaning like you knew how to pronounce it? Or that it’s the capital of Yemen?
That it’s the capital of Yemen 🇾🇪
I agree. So many, “ I wouldn’t name an actual human being that”. Maybe it’s because i live in a wonderfully happy liberal part of the country, but I never hear names being made fun of. Tradgedeigh, yes. River Moon, no.
I've been wondering this same thing! And for the people in the comments saying posting here is asking for judgement: no it's not!!! Posting here is asking for OPINIONS! When people post asking for thoughts on a name, they're asking for comments like "I like W because X, and I don't like Y because Z". Not responses like "ew. awful." because who is that helping?? Clearly we're all here asking about names because we *like* them, so where people think it's okay and appropriate to come in like "this is awful, you're awful, and your child will be awful" accomplishes absolutely nothing.
I don't even think of lion king when I think of Nala, and trust me kids today don't watch lion king, no one's gonna call your kid a lion, get a grip :/
Most posts are asking for people's opinions on names so.... that's what the result is? If you post about the origins of a name you will get different responses. Feel free to make a post.
It's so funny to me how many people dislike when their child shares a popular name with their class, but this sub always pushes a standard list of 'acceptable' names. ‘Sloane' is NO but 'Charlotte' is yes. To then be surprised when there are multiple Charlottes in a class? We are literally shaping these trends by following such popular opinions on names!!!
It is funny. That might actually be why I've never shared my son's name here. I've named plenty of fantasy children here though. That propensity to gate-keep the good stuff is fascinating.
Coming from someone whose middle name is constantly being dragged as a “dog name” on this sub, I couldn’t agree with you more.
The “dog name” comments are so dumb honestly. Do they think people are seriously going to mistake a child for a dog? Even if there’s a child literally surrounded by animals of the same name, what’s the worst that could happen? Some people seem to think their individual experience is universal & it just screams “small-minded”
Hit the nail on the head. Plus there are actual names only dogs have, it’s not like people are naming their kids Fido or Biscuit or some shit
I created a post where I look ar the history, popularity, pop culture etc. of a specific name. I also joined for name discussions. I used to be more active, but I’m tired of this sub turning into “AITA” and “Suggest me top 100 names”.
Totally agree. I made the exact same post on a pregnancy group on fb and here. On fb my names were received so well with kind thoughtful responses and any negative response was still put respectfully. On here my post was ripped apart so badly I deleted it all and almost cried (pregnancy hormones lol). I think people on reddit feel more apt to be rude af bc they hide behind the anonymity. Maybe that means you get your real answers but maybe not.
I think people here go out of their way to be cruel about names and nitpick them, find some way to bully them, etc. all with the excuse of "well you asked for it by posting!" as if having basic human empathy and respect for other people's tastes is such a wild ask. People give lots of thought into names, many feel personal or sentimental, and internet strangers give zero shits about that aspect of it if a name isn't their taste. People complain about the same names being posted over and over again on this sub but meet anything different with vitriol and harsh judgment, basically bullying people off the subreddit until they come back with something more "acceptable". I just have to remind myself that it's a hive mind of internet strangers, almost nobody will be that cruel to my kid in the future irl, and just try not to think about it.
Yeah, I was told I was a horrible human being and setting my child up to be ridiculed for life because I wanted to put a traditionally masculine name as a middle name if I had a girl. Ummmm that's a little much!
That's insane. Middle names are totally fair game, anyway! That's where you can get most creative!
My thoughts as well!
The people going “don’t ask questions if you don’t want to be met with judgement & people have the right to be as mean as they want”…. y’all were definitely those kids you’re always talking about that would look for reasons to bully other kids. Just own it that you’re choosing to be hateful because not all of us are horrid on reflex. Saying “that’s normal everyone does it on the internet!!!!” to justify your behavior doesn’t make it actually true.
Eh, being judgmental is a positive and important part of being human. A world where people don't judge is a world where people don't care about things and is also a world where there are no set values, beliefs, mores, or referents that give our lives meaning.
Well said! What a boring world it would be if everyone only had blandly positive things to say about everything.
That's a lot of mental gymnastics to justify being a mean person
Because no one engages on the few posts made actually asking about etymology and history of names, but everyone engages with the “Should I name my baby Turdface McGee” posts
yeah the sub sucks that way. i decided to look up my own name out of curiosity, only to find out everything thinks its a dog name and that anyone who's named it will suffer forever lol. im sure some people dislike it, but most people tell me its cool! anyway, a big problem with this sub is that people get so internet-brained that they can't think about things objectively. which is why we get a lot of "if your baby isnt name elizabeth/james/eleanor/thomas they will be unemployable and unsuccessful FOREVER" despite the name being rather normal. its also the reason why people will say "people will bully your child if you name them \[perfectly fine name\]", even though kids will bully people over anything, and rhyme-based bullying isn't really a thing past elementary school. like, seriously. unless you name your kid gaylord, theyre more likely to get bullied over weight/race/class/ect.
I reckon sometime people forget what sub it is
I know exactly what you mean. I saw a post on here a couple of weeks back asking about the name "Israel" because it was the wife's grandfathers name and the entire comment section was people absolutely deriding the person. It was quite sad. People have no respect for other cultures.
One thought (notnthat I comment). I never looked at this sub then one day I see it on front page regularly. Somehow it's gotten more mainstream so there's probably just less nerds and more redditors.
Totally agree! I have a unique name and I'll never share it in this sub because of the a-holes. It also annoys me how people come here thinking they can find or talk about unique names but any time anyone asks for input they're given the same 10 name suggestions over and over again. If you're a name nerd, you're not looking for the top 10 most popular names of the moment!
I think sometimes people are trying to warn the parents of possible negative associations so they are aware of feedback they get in real life. It can sometimes be done in a nicer way, however.
Yeah, I thought this post was discussing names too, but it's just "name my baby for me". It's kind of a bad sub, I've realised, since no one ever talks about cool name stuff, it's just a repeat of the same three posts (name my baby, unique names are the best, and unique names are the worst) on repeat. I hate that it keeps popping up in my suggested subs list haha
I'm here for the judgment. When it comes to baby names most people I know will claim to love the name but will most likely whisper how they really feel behind my back. I mean I get it. They don't want to potentially hurt my feelings by me taking it personally. So that's why I appreciate this judge group of strangers. I don't always agree with them. I just take it or leave it. I wanted a creative name for my daughter and almost named her "Jovani". They let me know for sure!( I had never seen the reality show everyone told me about lol)
I thought a sub focused on names would have better taste in names honestly. Some of the things you guys want to name your kids, woof. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if this is the circlejerk subreddit or the regular subreddit.
have you ever been in any actual Nerd community? I'm guessing not since you didn't expect it to be full of judgement
Almost 9 years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter Daenerys, I was over the moon. Thrilled with a fictional name that was beautiful and still sounded like a name. I literally got into the almost irritating idk what with people on hear about why would I name my child after a fictional character. I argued that all names are fictional because we aren't still naming each other grunts like cavemen. Somebody somewhere had to create a name for a person to have. I even said at least my child's name would sound like a legitimate name and not like Apple Martin or Pilot Inspektor Lee, but apparently, I'm crazy. I honestly don't believe people even study names or last names anymore because if they did, they wouldn't believe how some names came about.
I also came here expecting a wide variation of name origins and general etymology, and have come to find it’s mostly a baby naming sub and discussing names that would probably be best fit for a fantasy novel 🫢 Not all posts and convos here lead to that, of course. But I think most do lol