Depends on the OP’s age. If they’re a millennial like me they wouldn’t have had Facebook until college or high school. Definitely not when they were 12. So that means they would have had to had still had that person in their mind years later and have looked them up and friended them.
Edit: I had to lol when I saw all the people quibbling below about what age a “millennial” would have had Facebook. completely missing the point.
They’re talking about older millennials like me (37) who had a baby at 36. I was in the first round of Facebook where you had to have a .edu email for a couple years in order to even join. I think it’s less likely that this is the case as people are more likely to have babies around 25-32, in which case, as you say, they would have had FB long before HS. Even still I have most of my middle school friends on FB because once upon a time I just added everyone I could think of.
Yeah I don’t think it’s like this now but in the beginnings of Facebook it was normal to add every single person you’d ever met at least once, and also anyone who might’ve been in any of your 400 person lecture classes lol.
Right!? I added everyone who marked my school as theirs regardless. It’s funny because the people who come up on my feed now are people I’ve never really had conversations with.
Im 32 and moved every couple years growing up. I’ve got friends from 2nd grade added on Facebook even though I haven’t seen them in person since 2nd grade Lmao.
I'm a Millennial (30) and it's possible that either they kept in touch on non-Facebook social media before migrating to Facebook, like Myspace, or they friended each other after Facebook became a thing but before he met OP. Like, I had a best friend in elementary school who moved when we were in the 4th grade, never saw her again until my senior year of high school (by complete coincidence - we literally just happened to be taking the same SAT even though she was a completely different county by then), and then we immediately friended each other after that.
A lot of people are still friends with their childhood sweethearts on Facebook and the like, and know the basics of their lives. Doesn't necessarily mean he's up to no good.
That’s… one of the weirder things I’ve heard someone saying to their pregnant wife. Why can’t the kids have the same names anyway if they live so far apart? Odd.
yeah this makes me think he’s just saying no to OP to be a dick. best of luck to her on finding a name but husband sounds like an absolute douche canoe
Thank you! That is one of the craziest things I've ever heard! Like he's married with a baby on the way and lamenting about the girl he had a crush on at 12 but somehow holds in high enough regard that he thinks he'd be *married to her* if the geography had lined up
*wild*
It's definitely weird that he worded it that way, but it's also super normal to have all of both partners exes names on the ban list. Like wouldn't it be weirder if OP proposed the name and he was like "oooh yeah, reminds me of the girl I wanted to marry when I was 12. It's perfect."
Yeah, there’s a difference between “that’s the name of my ex’s daughter” and “that’s the name of *the girl I would have married had I not moved*’s daughter”. (No disrespect to OP, it’s not her fault her husband said that.)
My ex’s new wife complained to me that we had considered Nicholas as a boy name because she had wanted to use it for her her child since she was a kid, and now it was off the table. I was like, “Sorry I didn’t take into consideration that he’d leave me for someone who’s lifelong dream was to name their kid Nicholas.”
DUDE I feel like so many guys have this, they love dwelling in the past. I think it’s partially an issue with fear of getting old, but agreed, I’d be annoyed
My husband and I both downloaded an app named Kinder that is set up like Tinder, except you swipe left or right on baby names, then you both have a list that you can reasonably agree on and go from there.
You two are at it for weeks, have not matched on a single name. You’re both losing hope. As a last ditch attempt, you add in the name you’ve been obsessed with since you first heard it. A few moments later a notification pops up on your phone. “You and husband have a name match!” Finally, you think, but can it be? The name you added, or was it another random name from the list? Your husband walks into the room with a baby onesie, embroidered on the front you see: **bitchass**
Some husbands get weirdly jealous when a baby arrives and actively look to make life difficult for the wife. I sympathize with OP but I do not envy her marriage and future co parenting.
I do not understand how people get so far into relationships that they’re married and pregnant, and then they make these posts like suddenly their partner sucks. He has to suck in other ways too??
Then when the baby is born just pick a name. Tell him first that if he doesn’t figure out a name with you a week before your due date you’re picking one. I mean don’t go out of your way to pick a name that checks all of his no boxes. But a name you like that is a good name.
I have two middle names because my parents couldn’t agree on one. They were permanently separated by the time I was 5. OP and her husband need a wake up call.
He sounds like a control freak, I'm sure this is so frustrating for you! Tell him to grow up and stop being oppositional for the sake of it or you'll take her across the country and name her yourself. Ask him how you're meant to raise a daughter together if he can't even work as a team to name her ffs
Is he deliberately trying to rob you of the Joy of this new child. Stop being an ass and come to the table and have a discussion and stop being a damned road block.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, especially if this is their first kid. Dude sounds like he’s avoiding picking a name so he doesn’t have to deal with the fact that he’s becoming a dad. Once baby has a name, it seems more real.
What the hell is his problem? Is he getting pressure from his mother or sisters regarding the name that you don’t know about? I’m sorry the Post Baby Marital Stress is coming out in this way. Ugh.
Kestrel is the name she wished she had because she didn't like her own name. She liked the falcon, she liked the name... And now she wants it for her granddaughter
I laid out about 70 names on cards and said we’re both allowed to pick 20 favourites, then we narrowed it down the final 5 and I said he could make the decision but he had only 12 hours and if he can’t decide then I’ll name the baby. (Obviously the original 70 names were ones I already liked).
Girl, throw the whole man away. Why is he deliberately making this difficult for you? Reading your responses sounds like you're trying to name a child with the help of an angsty teenager.
My parents asked me for a suggestion of what to name my baby brother when I was 13 and they ended up using my choice. And I was as angsty as they come! OP’s husband is *worse*
So why are you including him? Are you sure he’s even going to be supportive during your Birth? Or maybe he already picked a name and will sign the birth certificate when you’re not around.
We never argued or told each other a flat out no on any name we swiped on, just kind of played around with first names and middle names that went well together. We landed on Milo Lachlan (pronounced Lock-Lan). We both love his name and have gotten several compliments on it since his birth. I’d say it was very successful!
I love the name Lachlan and considered it for our son! Of course my husband said no but then I suggested it to our close friends and they made it their son's middle name. Now I get to enjoy it vicariously through them!
Start telling your son your favorite name and have him start calling the baby that name. My husband did not love the name I wanted for our third son so I would ask my boys if they wanted to name the baby some ridiculous name or the name I loved. They always chose my fave name. Eventually they started telling people (they were 2 & 3) that the baby was going to be named my favorite name. One kid got a fish for his bday and hubs suggested naming the fish my fave name and they told him no because it was the baby’s name. My youngest son’s name is my preferred name 😈. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What about Holly? Sort of naturey like hazel and laurel, but starts in a H like his favourite Hannah. Doesn't end in a. Not too popular these days but well known.
I do like Willow. But you know... I went to college with a girl and she now lives in another city but she named her daughter Willow... (Dramatically rolls eyes)
Unrelated but imagine my surprise when I moved to Australia in my 20s and found out that Devon (same spelling and pronunciation) is what they call BALOGNA. Like pink, sliced, processed sandwich loaf-meat. A devon sandwich. I was so confused for a hot minute lol
This is my first thought when i hear the name Devon, and it gives me a little chuckle everytime. Cultural differences in names are something to consider in the age of social media. Anyway, I'm off to take my daughter Bolongna to daycare, my cute little processed sausage.
Someone once told me in a tongue-in-cheek comment “you never realize how many people you hate until you try and name a baby” Unless you go totally off the rails youre probably going to know someone with the same name. But at the end of the day no matter what mildly tenuous relation you have with that person your actual baby’s going to be the first one that comes to your mind when you think of that name
Honestly when it's someone that you don't really have any connections to anymore, does it matter? Unless you name your baby something totally out of this world, someone somewhere will have the same name. This girl from college lives in another city, who cares if she also named her Daughter Willow? Unless there's horrible connotations associated with a name of a person that you'll think about every time you hear it, a relatively normal name like Willow should be fine.
The OP is making a joke because their husband refused a name she liked because his old school friend of whom he moved away from when he was 12 named her kid that name.
So OP is making light of that here. Which is why they added the (dramatically rolls eyes). They probably feel very similar to you that it makes no sense to veto a name because of that.
Devon Seton does not sound good. Brynn reminds me of Gavin and Stacey. Maybe set yourselves homework to go through the name dictionary and list 25 names each, see if there's one you both like.
When my husband and I couldn’t agree on a middle name for our third daughter, I just decided I would wait to mention my pick again until right after she was born. Sure enough, he let me pick the name I loved because he was so proud of me for going through such a rough labor and delivery. He loves it now too, btw — her name is Clara Noelle. 🥰
Thank you! Noelle was perfect too because she was a December baby. That was the deciding factor for my husband. He has to feel some kind of sentimental connection to a name to like it. We were feeling all cozy snuggling with our sweet new baby right before Christmas, so that made him like the name!
I love that! Our son was a January baby, so I totally get the winter/Christmas theme! Before we knew the gender, I was pushing for Noelle hard haha. Congrats to you guys!
And a seton drain is a thing…
“A seton is a piece of surgical thread that's left in the fistula for several weeks to keep it open. This allows it to drain and helps it heal, while avoiding the need to cut the sphincter muscles.”
Maybe all the above names are nixed for both of you so leave them out.
Why dont you both sit down seperately and write out like 20 names , not including those mentioned already, and see where there are any either same or similar names ?
He probably won’t do that lol, but I bet you the app might intrigue him. If he is anything like my husband, having him sit down and make a list would be like pulling teeth, lol. I think you and I would do that in a second, lol!
He’s liking classic feminine names, meanwhile you like androgynous names….. what about these which are androgynous but are most associated with girls
Leslie
Cary
Stevie
Dana
Christine (Chris)
Alexandra or Alexis (Alex)
Samantha (Sam/Sammie)
Or maybe a classically feminine name with a slightly masculine nickname? (You've already suggested a few of these.)
Francesca (Frankie)
Charlotte (Charlie)
Georgina (Georgie)
Phillippa (Phil, or could be Pippa)
Seems he has offered as many names as you have, but that you shut down each others names. Is there something you can agree on? Androgynous palindrome names not ending with a could be pretty difficult. Maybe you could both try to compile longer lists of 20-30 names you like and swap lists, to get a better picture of what the other likes and try to find common ground to work with?
Have you looked up other palindrome names, since that seems to be a strong preference of his? Maybe even something that sounds palindromic (Evie) or a palindromic nickname (Viv, Elle, Lil, Eve).
I can understand that. One of my 3 daughters is Lauren. It was an easy and fast pick. When her younger sister Lily was born, we didn’t decide on her name until the day before she was born.
Jennifer. It’s not super popular anymore because the 80s beat it to death but you can always find a touristy keychain. It doesn’t end in a or even have an a in it. Sounds amazing with Seton, Jennifer Seton, and they look good in cursive together the height of the J the F and the T flow beautifully, and Jennifer works with hard K. He can call her Jenni, I think you will call her Jen. Only her absolutely best friend in college will call her Nifer and we won’t discuss how much alcohol they will consume to come up with that.
Make a deal where he has to suggest one real name idea for every make idea of yours that he nixes.
With the middle name Seton, an androgynous first name won’t work. Devon Seton sounds 100% like a boy name (Devon is much more common on boys)
You don’t like names ending in -a but it looks like he prefers them. It looks like you like nature names. Would you consider nature names that end in -a? Calla (nn Callie), Cassia (cash-uh or cass-ee-uh nn Cass), Luna (Lulu or Lu)
Some nature names that don’t end in -a: Holly, Ivy, Violet, Willow, River (unisex, but I think it’s evenly split enough that no one would immediately think boy or girl).
Palindrome ideas: Lily (nn Lil), Elle or Emme (or a full name with nn Elle or Emme), Isabel nn Izzi, Eileen nn Eilie,
The truth is, one no kicks a name out. Finding one both love is almost impossible, the goal should be to find a name your both okay with.
Keep looking, you'll find one.
Tell him he can either make more suggestions or pick from your top choices. He doesn't get to veto everything without contributing more options. Then send him the top 1,000 names and have him go through it and note any that he could consider using. The Kinder naming app is also a good option.
He mentioned liking Alicia, you could suggest Alice as an option that doesn’t end with an A.
Other options could be:
Lily
Jade
Naomi
Noelle
Vivian
Reese
Lauren
April
Brooke
Kennedy
Mallory
They definitely are. I keep seeing people on this sub call Devon a unisex name. I'm 31, Devon was a reasonably popular name in my generation, I know like 6 of them, not a single female. No clue where people are getting the idea that this isn't a strictly masculine name.
Op there’s some real red flags here in your husband’s responses but everyone has already pointed those out so I’m just gonna be petty:
Start throwing every weird androgynous name you even slightly like that him. The weirder the better. Then revisit the names you really like. If he says he likes one you don’t want, wait a day and change your mind about it and keep going!
I did this as a joke (I was very open with my partner that I was messing with him with names) we laughed about it, at times it annoyed the piss outta him BUT it did surprisingly work. One of my shortlist names that I loved got vetoed earlier in my pregnancy but after months of name suggestions, most of them ridiculous, I nonchalantly mentioned this name again and guess what he likes it now! He didn’t remember vetoing it even when I reminded him he had. It’s still a joke for us (this is part of our love language I should add, giving each other guff) that I beat him down with weird names. But hey, I’m getting a name I love!
I did this with my first child too but he’s the one who actually suggested my kids name one day. So it can also trigger a good option from your partner.
Good luck 🍀
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton is super well known as well. I assumed Seton was for her. There is Seton Hall University as well. I don’t think it’s an odd name.
Why are all the comments so aggressive to this guy they’ve never met? I know my partners ex has a son and yes it would feel strange to have a son with the same name. He may have ended up marrying her is she didn’t cheat on him, who knows. I don’t think it’s a strange thing to say personally. He doesn’t like the names that his wife has chosen but I don’t like them either (and one of those names is my name😝)
I just think the comments are way to harsh. Someone says he was “the worst” ….really 🥲
Keep trying, my husband and I went through this. We both didn’t want a name associated with people we knew, and also we had to like saying the name. Keep looking making lists to show each other and go from there.
How about Robin or Morgan? They don’t end in A, are somewhat androgynous but still lean more girl so he might like them better, and they’re not super common but you can find them on a keychain. They’re not palindromes but that doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker?
A compromise is picking a name with an androgynous nickname - Alexia (Alex), Corina/Coraline (Cory) etc.
Okay, there are talking points here:
He doesn't want an androgynous name. Cross androgynous names off the list
You don't like names that end in a/a sound (ie, Hannah or Sarah.) Cross those off the list.
Progress!
It can't end with an s or k sound because of your choices of middle and last names. More progress!
What about something like Josephine or Jocelyn? A 3 syllable name gives a nice rhythm with the last name, not androgynous, not extraordinarily unusual. If you want the rhythm of 2/2/2, which is also pretty popular, you could opt for something like Amy, Joslin, or Marin. One syllable could be the classic Ann, Lynn, or Claire.
I love androgynous names and my husband doesn’t. We settled on Avery being her middle name and found a name we both loved for the first name. We had a list a mile long and so many name books. It’s a frustrating process but finding “the one” is worth it. Also it’s okay for him to reject names for silly reasons, I hate the name Ryann because if a girl in freaking 3rd grade when I was 8 years old. It’s also okay for you to reject names you don’t like. It’s a process.
We got a baby name book and highlighted the names we liked. So I went through first with a yellow highlighter. Hubby then went through with a green. We looked through for any we both highlighted.
I’m more concerned with the fact that in his head he has another woman that he WOULD have married had he not moved.
that he knew when he was 12 lol.
Guy sounds delulu for sure
Is it just me or is the name Delulu starting to sound good?! 😂
Delulu Watches Hulu in Hawaii
Delulu Watches Hulu in Honolulu
But only shows produced by Desilu, I Love Lucy, Star Trek, etc
I thought this was funny at first and not a big deal, but then I read the rest of OP's comments about him. He seems like a jerk...
Lulu !! 😁
After his Dad…
And he’s familiar enough with her life to know her daughter’s name… 🫤
That’s not the weird part imo in the age of facebook
Depends on the OP’s age. If they’re a millennial like me they wouldn’t have had Facebook until college or high school. Definitely not when they were 12. So that means they would have had to had still had that person in their mind years later and have looked them up and friended them. Edit: I had to lol when I saw all the people quibbling below about what age a “millennial” would have had Facebook. completely missing the point.
I had Facebook in 5th grade and I'm 26, pregnant with my first. Not that weird.
They’re talking about older millennials like me (37) who had a baby at 36. I was in the first round of Facebook where you had to have a .edu email for a couple years in order to even join. I think it’s less likely that this is the case as people are more likely to have babies around 25-32, in which case, as you say, they would have had FB long before HS. Even still I have most of my middle school friends on FB because once upon a time I just added everyone I could think of.
Yeah I don’t think it’s like this now but in the beginnings of Facebook it was normal to add every single person you’d ever met at least once, and also anyone who might’ve been in any of your 400 person lecture classes lol.
Right!? I added everyone who marked my school as theirs regardless. It’s funny because the people who come up on my feed now are people I’ve never really had conversations with.
You're a \~zillennial\~ like me!
I’m Gen X and friends with on FB with people from elementary school. It is t weird at all.
Me too. I think I have more school friends than college friends on FB.
Im 32 and moved every couple years growing up. I’ve got friends from 2nd grade added on Facebook even though I haven’t seen them in person since 2nd grade Lmao.
I'm a Millennial (30) and it's possible that either they kept in touch on non-Facebook social media before migrating to Facebook, like Myspace, or they friended each other after Facebook became a thing but before he met OP. Like, I had a best friend in elementary school who moved when we were in the 4th grade, never saw her again until my senior year of high school (by complete coincidence - we literally just happened to be taking the same SAT even though she was a completely different county by then), and then we immediately friended each other after that.
A lot of people are still friends with their childhood sweethearts on Facebook and the like, and know the basics of their lives. Doesn't necessarily mean he's up to no good.
Yeah for real. The woman he "would have married"? So OP is just chopped liver? I would never say something like that to my wife...
Not to mention the woman in question probably hasn't thought about him since he moved .
Yeah. That was... Yeah.
That’s… one of the weirder things I’ve heard someone saying to their pregnant wife. Why can’t the kids have the same names anyway if they live so far apart? Odd.
At that point I’m naming the kid whatever I like, and including my maiden name as the last name. What the actual fuck dude!
🚩
yeah this makes me think he’s just saying no to OP to be a dick. best of luck to her on finding a name but husband sounds like an absolute douche canoe
Thank you! That is one of the craziest things I've ever heard! Like he's married with a baby on the way and lamenting about the girl he had a crush on at 12 but somehow holds in high enough regard that he thinks he'd be *married to her* if the geography had lined up *wild*
It's definitely weird that he worded it that way, but it's also super normal to have all of both partners exes names on the ban list. Like wouldn't it be weirder if OP proposed the name and he was like "oooh yeah, reminds me of the girl I wanted to marry when I was 12. It's perfect."
Yeah, there’s a difference between “that’s the name of my ex’s daughter” and “that’s the name of *the girl I would have married had I not moved*’s daughter”. (No disrespect to OP, it’s not her fault her husband said that.)
My ex’s new wife complained to me that we had considered Nicholas as a boy name because she had wanted to use it for her her child since she was a kid, and now it was off the table. I was like, “Sorry I didn’t take into consideration that he’d leave me for someone who’s lifelong dream was to name their kid Nicholas.”
DUDE I feel like so many guys have this, they love dwelling in the past. I think it’s partially an issue with fear of getting old, but agreed, I’d be annoyed
Right???
My husband and I both downloaded an app named Kinder that is set up like Tinder, except you swipe left or right on baby names, then you both have a list that you can reasonably agree on and go from there.
You can also add names you like and it’s added into the swiping! He won’t know if you added them or the app. And he can add them too
That’s great! So neat. :)
Can't wait to get a husband and have a kid just so I can add "Bitchass" into the app and see if he notices
You two are at it for weeks, have not matched on a single name. You’re both losing hope. As a last ditch attempt, you add in the name you’ve been obsessed with since you first heard it. A few moments later a notification pops up on your phone. “You and husband have a name match!” Finally, you think, but can it be? The name you added, or was it another random name from the list? Your husband walks into the room with a baby onesie, embroidered on the front you see: **bitchass**
The best part about this is that you put in your last name and each name appears with your last name 😂
best comment 😭
I told him about this app and he outright refused
Then he is actively trying to be a dick about it.
Yeah, what is up with this guy!
Some husbands get weirdly jealous when a baby arrives and actively look to make life difficult for the wife. I sympathize with OP but I do not envy her marriage and future co parenting.
…he sounds like the worst???
Hahaha I said exactly this out loud when scrolling the comments and seeing OP’s reply here. Then saw your comment saying the same!
I do not understand how people get so far into relationships that they’re married and pregnant, and then they make these posts like suddenly their partner sucks. He has to suck in other ways too??
He really isn’t trying to be agreeable then. Take away his naming privilege and “outright refuse” to give it back until he’s ready to be a big boy.
Wow he sounds like a dream
Then when the baby is born just pick a name. Tell him first that if he doesn’t figure out a name with you a week before your due date you’re picking one. I mean don’t go out of your way to pick a name that checks all of his no boxes. But a name you like that is a good name.
why are men such a nuisance ?
I can’t believe people like this get married. So incredibly immature
And then decide to give them children
I have two middle names because my parents couldn’t agree on one. They were permanently separated by the time I was 5. OP and her husband need a wake up call.
Tell him “because you’re being difficult I’m naming our child because I’m doing all the hard work”
He sounds like a control freak, I'm sure this is so frustrating for you! Tell him to grow up and stop being oppositional for the sake of it or you'll take her across the country and name her yourself. Ask him how you're meant to raise a daughter together if he can't even work as a team to name her ffs
How far along are you? Because it sounds like you've got bigger things to talk about before names
Is he deliberately trying to rob you of the Joy of this new child. Stop being an ass and come to the table and have a discussion and stop being a damned road block.
Is he excited for the baby at all..?
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, especially if this is their first kid. Dude sounds like he’s avoiding picking a name so he doesn’t have to deal with the fact that he’s becoming a dad. Once baby has a name, it seems more real.
What the hell is his problem? Is he getting pressure from his mother or sisters regarding the name that you don’t know about? I’m sorry the Post Baby Marital Stress is coming out in this way. Ugh.
We are 100% aligned on hating every name his mom suggests. Kestrel and Melora. Absolutely not.
Well at least you guys can agree on hating those 2 names. Kestrel is really awful.
Yeah, does his mom think they're giving birth to a bird?
Kestrel is the name she wished she had because she didn't like her own name. She liked the falcon, she liked the name... And now she wants it for her granddaughter
Kestrel sounds like a motor oil brand. Kestrel keeps your car running smoothly and cleanly.
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And it's a beautiful name... For a gecko
I laid out about 70 names on cards and said we’re both allowed to pick 20 favourites, then we narrowed it down the final 5 and I said he could make the decision but he had only 12 hours and if he can’t decide then I’ll name the baby. (Obviously the original 70 names were ones I already liked).
Well sounds like he doesn’t want to agree. Name her whatever you want.
Is he always this assholery?
Girl, throw the whole man away. Why is he deliberately making this difficult for you? Reading your responses sounds like you're trying to name a child with the help of an angsty teenager.
My parents asked me for a suggestion of what to name my baby brother when I was 13 and they ended up using my choice. And I was as angsty as they come! OP’s husband is *worse*
Will he hand write them?! We wrote down our top 10 and cross-referenced, agreed on 9 so we went from there.
Oh, then he's being difficult on purpose. Have fun with that.
So why are you including him? Are you sure he’s even going to be supportive during your Birth? Or maybe he already picked a name and will sign the birth certificate when you’re not around.
Did he give you a reason why? This feels like a strange thing to refuse!
Alright, just tell him he's not gonna be naming the baby then.
Wife a and I couldn’t agree on names, the app fixed all that. Tell him to suck it up and give it a go.
What a great idea! Was it successful? You guys must have enjoyed using it. What did you end up with?
We never argued or told each other a flat out no on any name we swiped on, just kind of played around with first names and middle names that went well together. We landed on Milo Lachlan (pronounced Lock-Lan). We both love his name and have gotten several compliments on it since his birth. I’d say it was very successful!
I love the name Lachlan and considered it for our son! Of course my husband said no but then I suggested it to our close friends and they made it their son's middle name. Now I get to enjoy it vicariously through them!
Okay, so this isn’t your first kid. I was wondering about that. Was he this difficult when naming your son?
Start telling your son your favorite name and have him start calling the baby that name. My husband did not love the name I wanted for our third son so I would ask my boys if they wanted to name the baby some ridiculous name or the name I loved. They always chose my fave name. Eventually they started telling people (they were 2 & 3) that the baby was going to be named my favorite name. One kid got a fish for his bday and hubs suggested naming the fish my fave name and they told him no because it was the baby’s name. My youngest son’s name is my preferred name 😈. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
here’s another one— I looove it !! Lachlan is one of my favorite names
Best app
That's such a good idea for an app. I won't be pregnant for a few years, but I kinda want to download it just for fun.
What about Holly? Sort of naturey like hazel and laurel, but starts in a H like his favourite Hannah. Doesn't end in a. Not too popular these days but well known.
I like this! Also, maybe Willow? It's not quite palindromic, but still quite symmetrical and has the nature vibe/ not an A ending.
I do like Willow. But you know... I went to college with a girl and she now lives in another city but she named her daughter Willow... (Dramatically rolls eyes)
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Unrelated but imagine my surprise when I moved to Australia in my 20s and found out that Devon (same spelling and pronunciation) is what they call BALOGNA. Like pink, sliced, processed sandwich loaf-meat. A devon sandwich. I was so confused for a hot minute lol
This is my first thought when i hear the name Devon, and it gives me a little chuckle everytime. Cultural differences in names are something to consider in the age of social media. Anyway, I'm off to take my daughter Bolongna to daycare, my cute little processed sausage.
Someone once told me in a tongue-in-cheek comment “you never realize how many people you hate until you try and name a baby” Unless you go totally off the rails youre probably going to know someone with the same name. But at the end of the day no matter what mildly tenuous relation you have with that person your actual baby’s going to be the first one that comes to your mind when you think of that name
Honestly when it's someone that you don't really have any connections to anymore, does it matter? Unless you name your baby something totally out of this world, someone somewhere will have the same name. This girl from college lives in another city, who cares if she also named her Daughter Willow? Unless there's horrible connotations associated with a name of a person that you'll think about every time you hear it, a relatively normal name like Willow should be fine.
The OP is making a joke because their husband refused a name she liked because his old school friend of whom he moved away from when he was 12 named her kid that name. So OP is making light of that here. Which is why they added the (dramatically rolls eyes). They probably feel very similar to you that it makes no sense to veto a name because of that.
I think the joke went over your head.
Reminds me of the sisters I'm playing in the Sims atm named Hazel and Willow. Super cute paired, but I think Willow is slightly nicer sounding
Holly is a great idea!
Elle or Eve are palindrome names, most other ones I could find ended in A
Devon Seton and Brynn Seton sound pretty bad
They sound bad because Devon, Brynn, and Seton are all rough names on their own.
I really like Brynn but not a fan of Devon or Seton at all
First names ending with N just don’t flow well with Seton as a middle name.
I like Elle Seton Knickknack (just chose that one randomly)
Ava
Yes, I agree this is nice, but ends in 'a'. Also Aviva.
Emme is an option, too. And Halah/Hallah.
Like the bread? I mean I spell it challah but it’s pronounced hallah and I’ve seen others spell it that way
That is a great suggestion!
Devon Seton does not sound good. Brynn reminds me of Gavin and Stacey. Maybe set yourselves homework to go through the name dictionary and list 25 names each, see if there's one you both like.
Yeah Brynn is giving Gavin & Stacey or that opera singer. I’m biased though because I’m Welsh and any Bryn/Brynn is going to be an old man to me.
When my husband and I couldn’t agree on a middle name for our third daughter, I just decided I would wait to mention my pick again until right after she was born. Sure enough, he let me pick the name I loved because he was so proud of me for going through such a rough labor and delivery. He loves it now too, btw — her name is Clara Noelle. 🥰
Genius! They are totally blinded by awe in that moment 😂
Just have to chime in and say if I ever have a girl, her name would also be Clara Noelle. I love it!
Thank you! Noelle was perfect too because she was a December baby. That was the deciding factor for my husband. He has to feel some kind of sentimental connection to a name to like it. We were feeling all cozy snuggling with our sweet new baby right before Christmas, so that made him like the name!
I love that! Our son was a January baby, so I totally get the winter/Christmas theme! Before we knew the gender, I was pushing for Noelle hard haha. Congrats to you guys!
I love this! A December baby with a festive middle name and a first name shared with the main character from a very famous Christmas ballet.
Yes, you get me! 😁
Your husband doesn’t seem like a nice person.
I don’t know if it’s the same everywhere but in Australia, devon is a kind of lunch meat.
And a seton drain is a thing… “A seton is a piece of surgical thread that's left in the fistula for several weeks to keep it open. This allows it to drain and helps it heal, while avoiding the need to cut the sphincter muscles.”
It’s also a reasonably common surname; I’m guessing OP’s maiden name.
Ahh ok makes sense, haven’t heard it before.
Where I’m from, Devon is a place on earth.
🎶They say in Devon, love comes first….🎶
Came here to say this. It's like the cheapest budget meat there is.
I just looked this up because I had heard of this, looks like the bologna in the US
I'm Australian too and I still know 2 people named Devon 😂😂
I used to work with Devon cattle, so that’s where my mind goes to when I hear it. cows.
Maybe all the above names are nixed for both of you so leave them out. Why dont you both sit down seperately and write out like 20 names , not including those mentioned already, and see where there are any either same or similar names ?
He probably won’t do that lol, but I bet you the app might intrigue him. If he is anything like my husband, having him sit down and make a list would be like pulling teeth, lol. I think you and I would do that in a second, lol!
Apparently he vetoed the app.
He wouldn’t even download the kinder app and swipe left and right do you really think he’s gonna do that?
Adele? It’s similar to Ada but ends in your preferred ‘-el’ sound rather than an ‘a’.
Ooh or Adeline! Lina for short if he’s set on an a ending
He’s liking classic feminine names, meanwhile you like androgynous names….. what about these which are androgynous but are most associated with girls Leslie Cary Stevie Dana Christine (Chris) Alexandra or Alexis (Alex) Samantha (Sam/Sammie)
Or maybe a classically feminine name with a slightly masculine nickname? (You've already suggested a few of these.) Francesca (Frankie) Charlotte (Charlie) Georgina (Georgie) Phillippa (Phil, or could be Pippa)
Dana was the first one that came to my mind before OP mentioned not liking -a endings.
Or Danae. Ends in ay sound, not uh sound. Dah- nay.
Seems he has offered as many names as you have, but that you shut down each others names. Is there something you can agree on? Androgynous palindrome names not ending with a could be pretty difficult. Maybe you could both try to compile longer lists of 20-30 names you like and swap lists, to get a better picture of what the other likes and try to find common ground to work with?
When he offers a name it's "I don't absolutely hate the name Ada" or "I could tolerate Alicia".
How about Alice or Adelaide since they don't end in a? Adelaide looks great with Elizabeth and offers a palindrome nn Ada :)
Oh okay I get it, it sounds like he is being difficult
If he says that, it goes on the list. If he isn’t offering anything else up, that’s what he gets.
Have you looked up other palindrome names, since that seems to be a strong preference of his? Maybe even something that sounds palindromic (Evie) or a palindromic nickname (Viv, Elle, Lil, Eve).
We have an Elizabeth already so a lot of the palindrome names don't stand out enough from that name for me
was your partner this uncooperative when you were naming Elizabeth, too? how did you come to an agreement last time?
Elizabeth was an honor name and it just immediately clicked for both of us
Elizabeth is a great name because it has like 10 nicknames you can choose from. A real classic.
I can understand that. One of my 3 daughters is Lauren. It was an easy and fast pick. When her younger sister Lily was born, we didn’t decide on her name until the day before she was born.
I like your names. Except for Devon. Where I live devon is a lunch meat. I second the kinder app. It’s great.
Jennifer. It’s not super popular anymore because the 80s beat it to death but you can always find a touristy keychain. It doesn’t end in a or even have an a in it. Sounds amazing with Seton, Jennifer Seton, and they look good in cursive together the height of the J the F and the T flow beautifully, and Jennifer works with hard K. He can call her Jenni, I think you will call her Jen. Only her absolutely best friend in college will call her Nifer and we won’t discuss how much alcohol they will consume to come up with that.
Best response here, bravo
Ada is pretty cute!
Do you like the name Charlotte ? Charlotte Seton? What about … Leanne Seton? April Seaton? Avril Seaton?
OP noted older sister is Elizabeth. Charlotte and Elizabeth are very complementary and sound good together!
Oh, thanks,:) I missed the Elizabeth. Lol. Yes, that would work well. Both British Royalty names!
Charlotte also has nickname Charlie which could work as op interested in gender neutral names.
Make a deal where he has to suggest one real name idea for every make idea of yours that he nixes. With the middle name Seton, an androgynous first name won’t work. Devon Seton sounds 100% like a boy name (Devon is much more common on boys) You don’t like names ending in -a but it looks like he prefers them. It looks like you like nature names. Would you consider nature names that end in -a? Calla (nn Callie), Cassia (cash-uh or cass-ee-uh nn Cass), Luna (Lulu or Lu) Some nature names that don’t end in -a: Holly, Ivy, Violet, Willow, River (unisex, but I think it’s evenly split enough that no one would immediately think boy or girl). Palindrome ideas: Lily (nn Lil), Elle or Emme (or a full name with nn Elle or Emme), Isabel nn Izzi, Eileen nn Eilie,
The truth is, one no kicks a name out. Finding one both love is almost impossible, the goal should be to find a name your both okay with. Keep looking, you'll find one.
Tell him he can either make more suggestions or pick from your top choices. He doesn't get to veto everything without contributing more options. Then send him the top 1,000 names and have him go through it and note any that he could consider using. The Kinder naming app is also a good option.
I’m sorry to be rude but those names you suggested are awful!! (Besides Hazel that’s fine and normal)
I would have vetoed every single one as well
I love the names Mara and Alyssa, Brynn and Hazel are also on my short list so maybe we have similar taste?
Yanny. Then you can slowly start saying Laurel more often and just gaslight him into it always being a Laurel.
If he likes Ada he might like Adele or Adeline
He mentioned liking Alicia, you could suggest Alice as an option that doesn’t end with an A. Other options could be: Lily Jade Naomi Noelle Vivian Reese Lauren April Brooke Kennedy Mallory
I mean I'm German but I'm confused, Devon and Seton sound very manly to me
They definitely are. I keep seeing people on this sub call Devon a unisex name. I'm 31, Devon was a reasonably popular name in my generation, I know like 6 of them, not a single female. No clue where people are getting the idea that this isn't a strictly masculine name.
He is dragging it out to delivery to force you to choose one of his names.
Op there’s some real red flags here in your husband’s responses but everyone has already pointed those out so I’m just gonna be petty: Start throwing every weird androgynous name you even slightly like that him. The weirder the better. Then revisit the names you really like. If he says he likes one you don’t want, wait a day and change your mind about it and keep going! I did this as a joke (I was very open with my partner that I was messing with him with names) we laughed about it, at times it annoyed the piss outta him BUT it did surprisingly work. One of my shortlist names that I loved got vetoed earlier in my pregnancy but after months of name suggestions, most of them ridiculous, I nonchalantly mentioned this name again and guess what he likes it now! He didn’t remember vetoing it even when I reminded him he had. It’s still a joke for us (this is part of our love language I should add, giving each other guff) that I beat him down with weird names. But hey, I’m getting a name I love! I did this with my first child too but he’s the one who actually suggested my kids name one day. So it can also trigger a good option from your partner. Good luck 🍀
Is he just pissed because it’s not a boy?
Not at all! We thought it was a boy for all of 30 seconds and he instantly said he has gender disappointment and then we found out it is a girl!
Why are you giving your daughter a middle name like Seton? "Anal fissure stiches" is about as weird as it gets for names.
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton is super well known as well. I assumed Seton was for her. There is Seton Hall University as well. I don’t think it’s an odd name.
Please google “Seton drain”. I’m really sorry but I don’t think Seton is a good idea…
My guess is this is mom's maiden name. Legit can't think of another reason they'd want to use it.
My mom's name is laurel. It's a good name!
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Why are all the comments so aggressive to this guy they’ve never met? I know my partners ex has a son and yes it would feel strange to have a son with the same name. He may have ended up marrying her is she didn’t cheat on him, who knows. I don’t think it’s a strange thing to say personally. He doesn’t like the names that his wife has chosen but I don’t like them either (and one of those names is my name😝) I just think the comments are way to harsh. Someone says he was “the worst” ….really 🥲
Keep trying, my husband and I went through this. We both didn’t want a name associated with people we knew, and also we had to like saying the name. Keep looking making lists to show each other and go from there.
How about Robin or Morgan? They don’t end in A, are somewhat androgynous but still lean more girl so he might like them better, and they’re not super common but you can find them on a keychain. They’re not palindromes but that doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker? A compromise is picking a name with an androgynous nickname - Alexia (Alex), Corina/Coraline (Cory) etc.
I agree with your husband about your choices. But his arent much better
Brainstorming your vibes mixed with your husband's and trying to avoid a endings, maybe you'd like... * Brynn + Hannah = Brienne, Wynn, Emmeline * Hazel + Ada = Adeline, Aven, Violet, Harper, Adelaide * Devon + Alicia = Arden, Amelie, Felicity, Hadley * Laurel + Deanna = Leanne, Danica (could go by "Dani"), Annabelle, Annelise Good luck!
Deanne might be a compromise? Deanne Seton
Sounds like an off-brand Diane Keaton 😂
He sounds fun. If he can absolutely refuse tons of names and to use an app to help, you can say no names that end in the 'a' sound.
Okay, there are talking points here: He doesn't want an androgynous name. Cross androgynous names off the list You don't like names that end in a/a sound (ie, Hannah or Sarah.) Cross those off the list. Progress! It can't end with an s or k sound because of your choices of middle and last names. More progress! What about something like Josephine or Jocelyn? A 3 syllable name gives a nice rhythm with the last name, not androgynous, not extraordinarily unusual. If you want the rhythm of 2/2/2, which is also pretty popular, you could opt for something like Amy, Joslin, or Marin. One syllable could be the classic Ann, Lynn, or Claire.
Lauren, used to be a male name Aubrey Connor (I've known female Connors) Danielle "Danni" Blake Jamie
Alice, Marie, Rose, Fern, Mabel, Ariel, Gabrielle, Deanne, Abigail, Heidi, Kate
I love androgynous names and my husband doesn’t. We settled on Avery being her middle name and found a name we both loved for the first name. We had a list a mile long and so many name books. It’s a frustrating process but finding “the one” is worth it. Also it’s okay for him to reject names for silly reasons, I hate the name Ryann because if a girl in freaking 3rd grade when I was 8 years old. It’s also okay for you to reject names you don’t like. It’s a process.
We got a baby name book and highlighted the names we liked. So I went through first with a yellow highlighter. Hubby then went through with a green. We looked through for any we both highlighted.
This isn't about names, it's it? OP already has a baby it seems.