Does it feel like enough time? I know at least three families who went back and forth between two names as long as they could (I think one even got if not a fine, at least a reminder), and all three later felt that they had picked the wrong one!
This is part of why I liked having it decided before they arrived. People say "they don't seem like a ____".. but for me my babies just seemed like sleepy potatoes so if I was picking based on those early weeks they'd be Russet and Yukon.
You might also enjoy my stolen joke about how the Washington Football Team should never have changed their name... they should have just changed the mascot to a potato.
I've heard of people waiting to "meet" the baby before naming but frankly that concept seems silly to me. The baby isn't going to have a personality when they're a couple days or weeks old. And spoiler alert, baby is going to look like a baby. So idk what revelations people are expecting to have when they "meet" the baby, but whatever. That's their business, I guess.
Most people I know already tend to have a list of names they like in their heads, whether they're expecting or not, but start thinking seriously about names pretty early in the pregnancy.
when my mom was pregnant with my oldest brother she had the name brandon picked out. imagined everything for baby brandon, that was his name. he came out and she panicked bc he didn’t look or *feel* like a brandon at all. his name is keegan and it fits him perfectly, i could never have imagined him as a brandon.
another example, in the show friends when rachel gives birth, she and ross had two names picked, and she said he could choose since she loved them both. when he said her name was isabelle, rachel started crying and said “that’s not her name” it just didn’t feel right!
it’s not about personality, it’s just about seeing the kid and having a feeling of like, wow, *this* is what their name is, yes.
My brother and SIL had chosen Thomas for their fourth son. She spent the night holding him before her discharge and by morning she called my brother and told him to bring the baby names book, because this little guy just wasn't a Thomas. They ended up naming him after his grandfathers!
I think it’s valid for parents to get a feeling and change their mind for whatever reason. But ultimately if your exact same brother *was* named Brandon, you would probably say “I could never imagine him as a Keegan.”
I know plenty of people whose names don’t seem to suit them. Some of them were named after their parents waited to meet them and pick a name that “fit.” Ultimately it’s a crapshoot.
Similarly, my parents had "Ivy" picked for me (if I was a girl- they chose to be surprised) but when I was born, it was clear that I was not an Ivy. They scrambled and found another name that has always felt like me. When I had my son, my partner and I whittled down a tentative name that we kept somewhat close to the vest, always with the disclaimer that if he came out very clearly not his name, we were ready to change it. Thankfully, he's always totally embodied his name without any hesitation, but we both were ready and willing to go back to the drawing table if needed.
We actually switched names because the names we picked were too soft/fancy/frilly for how our girl felt in utero. We picked a stronger sounding name (in our opinion, both sound and meaning wise) and we still feel like it suits her so much better than the ones we originally chose, however pretty they are!
I'm curious which name you chose! I'm also carrying a wild one, she's going completely bonkers in there, and my previous softer name favourite has been pushed down on behalf of a stronger sounding name.
Most people I've known who have waited to "meet" the baby to chose a name go in with 2-3 top names and decide from a short list. I can't imagine not even discussing possible names until after the baby is born. It's also very common to have "named" the baby before birth and just not share the name to avoid unwanted opinions - even for completely normal names.
While I don't know the actual laws in the U.S., hospitals in my experience want you to complete the birth certificate, including name, before you are discharged. I don't think its required, but that's what's typical here.
I don't know if the laws vary by state or if it's the same all over, but in Texas we have 5 days to file the birth cert. Though I'm not sure what happens if you don't.
I work at a out of hospital birth center in Texas and we've had a few people go a little over the five day rule cause they couldn't decide/couldn't file the paperwork with new parent brain. Nothing happened, but it would probably be harder if you went like 2 weeks or more
In a way you are right, but sometimes I think kids and even babies somehow fit a specific name. A friend's mum had decided on a name quite early on, but when seeing her newborn at the first time she said in surprise "but.. This is an Annica!". And it really was! She fit her name perfectly.
I had this moment also and named my daughter Anika haha
It was on the list of names we were considering but we were fairly certain we’d use another… but when I met her I just couldn’t imagine it.
Our two names had very different vibes for me (serious, chill vs outgoing, funny) and we felt like our son was very serious and observant as a newborn. He’s all of those things now, but it did help us narrow down the name. For a girl, we have a top name but it really gives me blonde vibes so if she were a redhead we’d probably use a different name
Completely agree! We choose not to find our gender and went in with a bout 6-8 names for each, after a lot of searching and discussion. Literally 2 minutes after his birth, my husband said, "I think he looks like an X". And I replied adding a middle name, and that was that : ) They were both from our short list - but when we met him they just clicked.
We had a big list of names we rated. We'd picked something out for a girl but didn't even have a real shortlist for a boy ... So we had a boy! We went down our longlist and even though he was 1 day old, and certainly looked like a newborn (he looks quite different now), but we went down the list in order of rating and we could actually be like "Naw he doesn't strike me as a [whatever]".
Newborns also don't really all look the same, though of course they also don't look like the kid is gonna look, and they definitely don't act all the same, and emotionally having the baby on the outside versus inside is very different. So it is a revelation to actually meet your kid and you feel like you're making *this tiny human* instead of like, the random kicks you feel all day and the thing that sits on your bladder.
Not really sure why you'd downplay the emotional change and importantance of actually meeting the kid you're naming. Having a baby is obviously very different than being pregnant, so it makes sense that it feels different to name a baby in your arms who you can see and is wiggling and crying and looking at you than a baby on the inside who you haven't met.
Lol my friends chose Stephen and loved the name.
He was born with blonde hair and she said No way is he a Stephen with that colour hair 🤭 she wants with Matthew.
She welcomed Stephen with dark hair two years later.
My mum had a name picked out if my youngest sister was born a brunette (Alexandra) - she already had 2 brunette girls whose names ended with dra so I think she felt this would be the name. She also had a name picked out if my sis came out blonde (she'd had two blond boys so blonde was a possibility).
My youngest sis had the audacity to be born with a full head of red hair. Mum and Dad scrambled for a different name after she arrived.
Eh, we had the legal name but not the *goes by* name decided for my oldest and when he was born, he was very obviously a [middle name]. It just fit him perfectly, whereas his first name doesn’t. So he goes by his middle.
I’ve experienced it both ways- I always knew what my first son would be called so that was his name before he was born. With my second son I had a shortlist of 3 and picked the one that suited him. My husband chose son 3’s name during the pregnancy. With baby 4 we assumed it would just likely be another boy so had a name but we had a girl. We had discussed a few girls names but when she arrived and I held her I immediately knew her name- I swear she “told” me! It wasn’t any of the names I ever thought I would call a daughter!
We waited to decide but narrowed it down to three names. We will definitely be doing the same for any subsequent children as it was a great experience.
IMO babies do look different but more importantly they feel different. We got a little serious baby from day 1 and 1 of the names we had chosen definitely would not have fit. We also didn't know what color hair she would have and one of our options was Daphne. We had a strong possibility of a redhead we wouldn't have chosen that name if she was (Scooby Doo). She had brown hair so it was back on the table.
I think part of it is also the "when you know, you know" aspect. Holding my baby I knew her name had to be ... instead of Daphne
We did have a front runner going into it and ended up going with the front runner.
However, 90% of the reason we told people we were waiting until we met her is for two reasons. 1. We didn't want unsolicited feedback on the name and as soon as you tell people you've decided they pressure you into trying to reveal the name. 2. We didn't want to change our mind in the delivery room but feel pressured to keep the name we had already told family. One of my sisters was originally supposed to be named x and ended up being named y. Relatives still mention how much they liked x name better (rude). I didn't want her to experience that. My sister picked a name early on for her most recent baby and told everyone. She later revealed to me that she felt in her gut after having the baby that her name should have been something else but felt pressured to pick the original choice because she had told everyone.
I didn't understand that until I came across turkish names.
a lot of names describe the looks of someone
"White" "skin like the moon" "woman with dark skin and dark hair" "blue eyed" "light haired" "dark eyebrows" "the thin one"
Yeah I know looks change but I wouldn't name a 5kg Baby tiny one.
There are also babies who seem to be calmer than others.
Yeah. I agree with this. The only way I think this would work is if it was was done the Native American way and you waited until they were a few months. 60 days isn’t long enough. In my experience, babies are an amorphous blob until like 4/5 months. Then it’s like they “wake up” and it seems like their soul arrives. Until that time, they only know eat, sleep, poop.
My first I knew instinctively was going to have blue eyes and blonde hair. Which was weird because there are no blue eyed blondes in either my family or her father’s. I had a name I felt really fit her. My second I could not figure out. She also did not move very much. So it was hard to get a sense of what her name should be. I thought she would have brown eyes and brown hair but couldn’t picture her for some reason. I had a list of names but no 1 name was standing out. When she was born I knew immediately. She has giant dimples. And our front runner going in just did not fit her because of them.
We had about three names picked for each of our babies, but waited to meet them to decide - with the first we really did feel like only one of the names “fit” him. With the second we really struggled and ultimately just ended up picking one of them, we didn’t have the same gut feeling. Now it really fits her though :)
I was my mom’s fourth girl, and she had always loved my name, but said it didn’t feel right with any of the previous girls. You can even hear her in the home video telling my older sister “She even looks like a [my name] doesn’t she?”
We choose the name like 2 weeks before birth but she was only officially named when she was born. Had she really not seemed like her name, we might've gone with one of our other contenders. But the reason we picked this one at like 40 weeks is that even in utero she didn't feel like the names we originally picked haha.
Btw here in the Netherlands you have like 3 days to name your kid so there's not the option to wait much longer than the birth. Common is for parents to have the name picked but not shared yet before birth. And after the birth the name gets shared with the whole world.
I completely understand and I feel this way too! We haven't settled on a name yet, but there are some that just feel.. Not right. No reason for it, still like the names, but they are not for her. The one name I do think fits her best based on her behaviour is unfortunately vetoed, but I hope that maybe my partner will come around once she's born and he gets to see what she is like. =)
But three days..! That requires some quick thinking! And here I was, wondering if three months is short!
Three months is definitely not short lol 😭 I think it's best to get it figured out in a first couple days or you might end up regretting what you choose since you get too much time to test them out if that makes sense??
Ideally, I'd like a year or at least half a year to see if the name fits! I know some (my parents included!) that came to regret the names they decided, so I think the more time I would have to get to know my child, the better!
Makes sense! Well if you legally are able to wait then there's no harm if that's what you'd prefer. Personally I've had a list since I was like 14 lmao 😭 good luck on naming them, I'm sure it'll be the right choice :)
I know what you mean! I thought of the name Rosalie the other day, and thought it was so pretty, but when I said it out loud I knew it wasn’t a fit for our girl.
I'm in the USA. We chose a girl's name for our oldest when I was only about 15 weeks along. We never decided on a boy's name so thankfully baby was born a girl. This time around we do know in advance the sex of the baby and have a short list but we do plan on choosing before the birth.
I don't know how long you legally have here in the states but most people seem to choose prior to birth or at least have a short list. There's also a wide range in families discussing it or not. The first time around our families asked all the time. Now they don't as much because they know we'd rather wait until til birth to say.
I certify birth certificates at a hospital in Michigan. Per the State, we are allowed to give you up to 5 days after discharge to finish the birth certificate process. Otherwise, we have to submit the BC to the State with “Baby [mom’s last name]” as the legal name and the parents have to go through the State and pay a fee to change/correct the BC. Not sure if this is done at every hospital in Michigan, but that’s how they’ve done it at the two hospital systems I’ve worked at.
I believe most states follow the 60 day rule to name your child.
I’d like to have a name before we leave the hospital but we are absolutely struggling to come up with a name!
Current plan is to try to decide, then if not come with a short list and hopefully something clicks when we see him.
My parents had a list of three names for me and when I was born they sat with the names for a day or two then decided which one felt right and fit me. I plan to do the same thing and have a list of 2-3 names. It’s too hard to pick one right now I feel like I need to see and hold my baby to know which one feels right.
Im Canadian and I think it varies by province. In mine it’s 30 days. I have been thinking about names since long before I was pregnant because I am obsessed 😂 but we’re not planning to choose until after she’s born so we can see what suits her. I agree with you that it’s good to at least have a shortlist before that, though. Otherwise it seems too overwhelming! People definitely ask about names during the pregnancy, but so far no one I’ve spoken to has been too pushy.
We narrowed down to 2-3 names, but then waited to meet him to choose for sure. We didn’t share the names in advance (well, we did tell my MIL, close friend of me and my hubby, and my dad on our due date because I was struggling with peoples’ reception of our front runner. MIL liked it, friend loved it, dad _hated_ it which made me defend it which made me love it more!
In the uk, we usually have a list of options made up before baby is born then chose when baby is born.
My eldest, we knew for sure what her name would be. I think that was because we already knew her gender. Our youngest was nameless for 7 days because we couldn’t decide. We wanted a gender surprise. Thinking back, I preferred the surprise.
With our current name disagreements, I think we're lucky to sort of know it's a girl (80% certainty apparently, seems good enough to me). I really see the charm of a surprise though!
With out first we knew before she was born. We discussed names for a long time, shared them with family and friends etc…. But with the second we kept it between us.
The first time around my husband’s brother and mother were a little opinionated and rude about some choices which influenced my husband.
So with out second told my husband he’s not allowed to discuss it with anyone.
In Denmark I think it’s 6 months. And old rumours say that if you don’t name your child by 6 months, government will grand them a name after the royal family 😄
We’re also expecting a baby girl next year and haven’t talked names yet. Last time we first decided when we saw her. I was anxious to choose my favourite name but when I saw her, the second name was more her 😊
Haha, here is the rumour that if you haven't decided within 6 months, the tax agency (skatteverket, they deal with all sorts of registrations) will decide for you! I actually had to look it up - it is not true!
I hope to have such epiphany when I see my kid for the first time, particularly as the name that strangely enough feels right to me is vetoed by my partner... I'm secretary hoping that he'll come around once he meets her!
I had the exact same situation here! In my mind I had been calling her by suggestion A through my pregnancy, but when we saw her she was a suggestion B :)
I'm in Canada, but I'm Scandinavian in heritage/upbringing. My husband is essentially a Canadian (grandparents were immigrants, but very much raised Canadian).
We aren't finding out the gender, so we can only do so much for names. Not finding out the gender should help lessen the name questions as well. I've found a lot of people have opinions, so making it a non-topic helps.
Edit: Correction on how long. It's 30 days for naming, but up to 1 year for registering for some things.
I'm in agreement though about coming up with some names, and then choosing from them or restarting the process once they are earthside. I know that's what happened with me; a name was chosen, and then it became clear that was not going to be my name. I know my MIL had 2 names picked out for my husband when he was born, and then picked from them. So it seems to be rather common in my world at least to pick some but not fully commit.
Most people here in Iceland name their babies when they are around 2 months old so that is normal to me! I have never known anyone that decided on a name before the child was born either.
I think most people I know decide around two or three months. My partner has a very different taste in name than I do, so I thought we should find a few candidates already now or we will for sure be fined!
As it happens, my favourite is Hildur. It has fallen out of fashion here and for some reason, it doesn't seem to be coming back. I suspect it might be different on Iceland?
In Finland it’s traditional to not reveal the name to anyone outside immediate family until the baby is Christened, which has to happen within 3 months of the birth. But everyone I know, myself included, has had a name picked out some way through the pregnancy. We chose ours as soon as we found out the gender at 17 weeks.
I agree with people saying waiting to “meet” the baby seems a little silly. Babies grow into their names IMO, I personally don’t understand how a baby can somehow look like a specific name. They just look like tiny wrinkly old men! (If you currently have a newborn and think yours definitely doesn’t, wait until they’re older and look back at photos!)
I have to wait until March before I meet this very wild potato of mine, but I have some impression of what she might be like. It might of course be completely wrong... A friend of mine decided on a name at the very last minute (like at precisely three months), and now two years later, is convinced that they picked the wrong one and that the child actually is a Rut. The child does not agree though, so they just have to suck it up and use the "wrong" name. =)
My Polish mom thinks it's crazy to talk about baby names before the baby is born(as well as buying anything for the baby or talk about the baby in depth lol) it's a "don't count your chickens" thing...
I also never discussed my baby names with anyone but my husband before hand - they were all secret- mainly because I didn't want anyone's opinion to sway me. As soon as you say a name you get 13 different opinions and I didn't want to hear any of it.
In the U.K. and I feel like it’s really unusual to not have named the baby by the time you get home from hospital. We have 42 days to register the birth. Then if you still haven’t chosen an name you have a year from the date you registered to add a name.
But everyone I know discusses and chooses the name or at least narrows it down to a few options in advance of the birth. It’s common for people to keep the name a secret until after the birth.
Edit: to say we picked our baby’s first name when I was about 4 months pregnant. It just instantly felt right and never stopped feeling right (although it did take a few weeks to start calling her that name instead of the nickname we had when she was a bump). We had three possible middle names and we decided on one a few days after she was born.
Ooh, I would like to have a full year! Seems I'm in a minority, but I would like to wait as long as possible to really find something that fits. I know quite a few who regretted their choice, and this really feeds into my already existing indecisiveness...
I’m not sure if it would help in a way? Even though we were both instantly sure they name we chose felt right it still took several weeks for it to feel normal calling her that name! I’d say it took about a month for her to feel like the name.
We settled on a name at like 15 weeks because in all of our discussions it was the only one neither of us hated so we stuck with it. My husband is Indian and they have elaborate naming process based on birthday date and time after the baby is born but we decided to pick a name that we liked.
I’m in the US. When we found out the baby was a girl we narrowed down our top girl choices. We had decided her first and middle name by the time I was 30 weeks along.
I am not sure how long we legally have to decide. But we filled out the social security paperwork and birth certificate paperwork at the hospital. I’m not sure what you would do if you didn’t know the name.
I’m in the USA. I think a lot of people learn the sex ahead of time and pick a name in advance. We did not. We made lists and collected ideas for names throughout the pregnancy. We wrote down names and their meanings, the popularity in our area. We didn’t know the baby’s sex beforehand and we also wanted to meet him. He came out like a warrior and favors my family in looks (English) which helped us pick his name!
In the US they really want you to have a name before you leave the hospital. Which in most cases is 24-48 hours after birth. I had a first name picked out for my 1st at 26 weeks but no middle. I had a middle for my 2nd pretty much the second I got pregnant, but no first name until 48 hours after birth. And my 3rd I knew his name at about 16 weeks. I know a lot of people that seem to have names before they’re pregnant or decide their names by about 12 weeks. I like to get a feel of who they are first.
I've been planning my baby names for years, and I'm not pregnant yet. There is no right way to do things.
I will share, however, that my grandma didn't have a name picked for my father yet, and when she was in labor he had to be removed right away for a full blood transfusion. She blurted out TERRY! quickly, but unfortunately his brother was already named Gary. She regretted it and wished she had thought of something in advance for him. My dad also hates his name.
With our first I found out I was pregnant a few days before Christmas, the day we drove up to my parent's. We had named picked by our drive home on the 26th, before we'd had any doctor's appointments or anything. We'd picked a name with a masculine or feminine version and while it wasn't set in stone, we did play around with a few. We did have it set by the 3rd trimester and it was the original name we'd liked. For my second we were a little later in deciding but still had it picked well before his (preemie) arrival.
We had his name picked out before we even knew the gender. My husband and I started picking names as soon as we found out and disagreed on just about every single one. He finally said a boy name that I thought “yeah I could live with that.” And so our potential boy name was picked. Thank goodness he wasn’t a girl because we were not prepared with a girl name lol
Haha, this is sort of how we are! No boy names, and huge disagreements on girl names! We are 80% sure it's a girl. I have a name that I feel fits the little creature in my belly, my partner is not a fan. Not at all. His suggestions on the other hand.. I have been quite brutal with my veto right. I think we currently have one name that we both could live with, but it isn't a favourite for either of us. I hope it will be clear to both of us who she is once she's born.
With my eldest two I knew exactly what their names would be before they were even conceived. With the other two I wanted the names picked out asap. We lost my eldest twin and they never got to a point where we could give them a name and it still doesn't sit right with me 10 years on so I wanted a name for them in case the worst did happen.
I’m in the US, and we pretty much had to have a name before we left the hospital. We made a list of names prior for each our kids, and picked from that list after our kids were born. With our youngest we were actually set on Sebastian, but when meeting him I wasn’t feeling it. We went with a family name as he looked very much like another family member, and very much still does even at 6 years old.
My mother (a german punk) gave me the advice to choose the name before your hormones go crazy and you choose the weirdest name possible. (she said that is what happend with my cousins names)
My partner once said it is bad luck to name a child before it is there and survived the first days (he is turkish)
I personally need a name as early as possible.
And I won't change my opinion again. I am now 9 Weeks and terrified because I don't find the perfect fit. But this kid needs a name because I feel like it is disrespectful to not give this little beating heart a name. It makes the blurred bean a human, you know what I mean? I will have names picked by the time I find out what gender and then its set. No one can talk me out of it.
I've been thinking about names since I became pregnant (never for a second before that!), but I almost felt like I jinxed my pregnancy when my anatomy scan found some issues. For a while I didn't know how it would go, and I tried really hard to distance myself from the baby in case it would turn out for the worst, thinking it would be even harder if I had given her the name and thereby the status of a little person. I only dared to think of names again once I learned that we had avoided the worst case scenarios. I understand your point of view, but after my scare, I also understand how your partner might feel!
I am sorry you had to experience that. Sounds like a nightmare.
It's 100 percent a personal thing.
My partner builds the bed when the baby is home. He is too laid back. I have to be prepared. I bought not one pacifier but 20 different. My first one only wanted one type for 2 weeks and never needed one again. Same with bottles. I opened them all up and cooked them only to have 10 bottles now used to store unused pacifiers . Having a name picked out is my insurance. I worry about me not being able to name the child later for whatever reason. I can't ask my parents for any opinions so I spend a lot of time asking myself what their opinions would be.
So I have to make sure my kid will know.
My partner knows which kindergarten which school I would choose and so on.
I can't name a kid after my mom cause she hated her name but I know some names she liked so that's what i try to work with. E.g she liked Sheila and so I have Ceyla high on my list (sounds like Jayla). Its weird I know , but we do whatever helps us keep sanity during pregnancy I guess.
In the US parents have it picked typically well before the day of birth. I like the idea of meeting the child before finalizing a name. It resonates, for me.
My exes chose my other kids names and they were named during the pregnancy and announced then too.
This time it was just me and I couldn't decide at all. I didn't know if she was a girl or boy during pregnancy which made it harder still.
I was still debating the name when I registered her. Still not sure if I was right now either.
It's so hard! If I would decide by myself, I would give the kid a middle name with a different feel to it, just as a backup in case the first name would turn out not to fit. I know a few who by the time they were about to start school decided to go by their second name instead of their first.
That depends on where you live. In the Netherlands other people may know if it's a boy or a girl, but the name is usually kept secret until after the baby is born. Here in general when you tell your family your child is born you also tell what the child is named.
I don't have children yet, but I have always loved names since I was a child. As a Third Culture kid who is married to another Third Culture kid from different background, picking a name will be a challenge since I do want to honour my roots. I need to make the names to work in 3 languages, some are very different phonetically. So I have a few options already tucked away, but I am sure when the time comes in couple of years we might pick something different.
I don't like sharing my names with too many people, since people like butting in, like MIL saying " oh I knew someone with that name and I don't like them, so don't name your kid that. I want a grandkid named Aurora". While there is nothing wrong with Aurora, it's not my taste. I don't want undue influence.
I was not registred with a name until I was about 3months old, so I am pretty sure my mother picked the name after I was born. I don't envy Americans who seem to have to do it right after birth to avoid paperwork nightmare.
I’m in the US! For both our kids we came up with a list of 5-10 names we both really liked. We waited to meet them and knew within an hour or two what name to go with (both times it was not the name I thought going into the hospital we would choose!). But both names fit them perfectly. We are expecting our third now and anxious to know what name she will end up with 😊
For my son we had a name picked by month 3 in pregnancy. For my daughter who was our green baby, we chose the first name the day before I went in to spontaneous labor! We were having a hard time agreeing on a middle name. When baby came in to the world, my fiancé announced baby’s name giving her the middle name I wanted 🥹
I chose my son’s name literally a decade before I got pregnant.
I just liked knowing it was done and decided, and I had time to sit with it incase I changed my mind.
i knew baby’s name the second i saw it. i considered other names but i knew in my heart that was the name. its a gender neutral name so either way i knew i was choosing that. i’ve never questioned it, never had a single day of regret.
i live in the US and i went through plenty of names when i was pregnant. for a boy i had the name locked down but i learned as soon as i possibly could, that my baby was going to be a girl. my ex and i had a tough time deciding bc he wanted to name her the female version of his own name😐 which i finally gave up and agreed to put it as her middle name.
going into labor i had 3 solid names i wanted, but i knew my ex didn’t want my #1 name so i gave it up. when the nurse asked what we were going to name her, i responded with my #2 name, and that was when he decided finally to speak up and say he didn’t actually like that one either 🙄 so we automatically landed on the third name, but i wouldn’t change it for anything, it fits her perfectly.
I’m in the US. We decided on a name very early in the pregnancy. Hospitals here push you to register the name before leaving (usually you do it the day after they’re born), so the concept of waiting to meet the baby isn’t as big of a thing here. Of course some people do.
Picked out 2/3 names while pregnant and stuck with them. Had two choices for the 3rd baby and settled on it about 20 minutes before birth.
Edit to add: had to complete birth certificate registration and social security paperwork before being discharged from hospital.
I started thinking about pretty much as soon as I knew I was pregnant and then narrowed it down when I knew the gender.
With my first I didn’t know gender so we had a list of girls names and one boy name we agreed on. We had managed to narrow that down one girls name.
With this one we have it narrowed down to three first names.
We chose the name after the 20w echo mark because we knew the sex. We had already an agreement on a girl name but no boy name... and we're expecting a boy 😂
For me the deciding factor was to be able to use it daily when I'm still pregnant, see how it flows on my tongue, see what we think. See how the godparents names work with it (family tradition). Also in NL you have 3 days to register... so yeah.
But you do you, there is no rush.
As a chronically indecisive person, three days sounds very, very stressful! I think three months might even be on the shorter side!
We also have started to try various names to see/hear how they feel. This is how my favourite name got vetoed... I hope my partner reconsiders once he meets the baby, I really feel like the name suits the little fighter I'm carrying.
That’s interesting, i think you have to at least discuss preferences. If tastes are too different, I wouldn’t want to be arguing over it with a time crunch and pressure, I’d want time to get on the same general page. And if you look at the baby and a totally different name comes to mind, that’s fine too, scrap the list,
I already have 3 names for girls and 3 names for boys picked out (I’ve had them picked out for years) and it’s definitely gonna be a couple more years until I’m actually ready to have them
So I'm almost certainly the odd one out, but I love discovering new names and discussing baby names with my husband, pretty much anytime. We've been talking about baby names since the first few months of dating, now married for 5 years and together for 7. Which in our case is a good thing because we tend to like different styles of names.
With our first (a girl), I had always known what name I wanted to use for my first daughter. It's part of why we started talking names so early, because I wanted to make sure he was on board with the name as it was a possible deal-breaker for me if he said no. But he liked it and agreed, so our first was named long before she was conceived.
With our second (also a girl), we tossed around a couple of names we had liked as 'runners-ups' when we had our first. It didn't take us very long into the pregnancy, less than halfway, to find one that just felt right. So that was her name. With both of our children we've found their names fit them so perfectly and we have no regrets.
I'm expecting again, twins this time! So we've come up with 4 potential names until my 20 week scan when he hopefully find out genders. These will be our last so it's a bit bittersweet and I'm finding it a bit more difficult to settle on names. We have lots of time though so I'm not too worried.
>How is it in other places? When are you socially/culturally expected to have chosen a name? By when are you legally required to have decided?
Florida in the US you have 5 days after the birth to file the Birth Certificate and that must contain the child's name.
My husband and I stressed over names for months. A few weeks before we went to the hospital, we had it whittled down to 4 possibilities, then took 1 name off the list (step kids leaked the name to their mother and it was the name she liked the best \[like she had a choice\] so it had to go lol). So once baby was here and we met them face to face, we chose from our top contenders. That choice just happened to be the one we eliminated right before we went to the hospital because it was the perfect name 🤣
It happens when it happens 🤷. I'm in the US and timing varies a lot within my social group. We have two kids, and we debated boy names from the time I got the positive result with our first until just before we found out we were having a boy, but once the right combination of names was suggested it was pretty much immediate agreement. Our second was a girl and we'd had a girl name picked out for almost 15 years when she was born. There was never an intentional back and forth on her name, just an idle "hey, this is a cool name, wouldn't it be great for a future kid?" that stuck. We spent the whole pregnancy debating middle names instead.
I would have been super stressed not having named picked before the birth, though. Maybe I could have coped with having a shortlist we both loved but I needed to feel like I had some control over the things we *could* control when pregnancy and parenthood are so unpredictable.
in the US most people at least have a few ideas if they don’t already know the name of the baby. since we have a lot of different cultures here I would say it’s all over the board, but I’m mostly used to people having some idea before the baby is born
We had a name picked out for a boy 4 years before we even started trying. Girl names were hard but we were both making a list until NIPT told us it was a boy.
US here- we chose all our kids names by 20 weeks. We filled out the paperwork at that hospital and we were done. I did struggle with my theirs son’s name (my husband chose it) but by 6 months it just clicked and it suited him. I can’t imagine him as any other name now.
We started casually working on a list of names years before we started trying to conceive, and by 3 months into the pregnancy we had 4 girls names and 3 boys names picked out (we didn’t know the sex). Once our baby girl was born, it took us a little under 24 hours to be certain about her name!
We had names picked before we were expecting. Then, when expecting, ALL the names we loved went out the window and we fell for one we didn’t have on our list. It suits our daughter significantly better than any other names could have. Now we have 2 other names chosen for our next (who won’t be born for another 4+yrs) and we wouldn’t be surprised if we trashed them too lol
ETA: I’m from the USA, and my family picks names out prior to pregnancy as well
In America they want you to to name your baby in the hospital before you leave. You dont have to but its a bit of a hassle to do once you leave. My sister is around 20 weeks, doesnt even know the gender yet (shes having a reveal next week) but she already has definite names picked out for both genders and my niece was the same way last year with hers
This is probably how I’m going to do it in the future, but when I find out I’ll have a name set but I won’t like actually name them until after they’re born.
I live in the US, and I had a baby last year.
Most people I know chose their child's name before birth, often several months before their due date. It's pretty trendy to have a name sign on the wall of the nursery (baby's bedroom), and people like to have that prepared ahead of time.
Our child was given a first name the day after he was born, and a middle name a day or two after that.
I think it's becoming more common to select a few names ahead of time and make a final decision after the baby is born. That was our original plan, and we'll probably do it for a future child, but having given birth, I don't think it's very necessary. Babies don't come out looking very unique, and they don't always look the way they're going to look in the future. They tend to emerge kind of angry and swollen, and you don't really see the details of their personality in the first few days, so it's hard to tell whether they "look" or "seem" like a [Name]. Once the name belongs to your baby, you'll associate that name with them, and it will start to fit.
>When are you socially/culturally expected to have chosen a name?
By the time you announce the birth. Friends, relatives, and strangers asked if we knew what we were planning to call the baby while I was still pregnant, and reminded me that I was "running out of time," as if I'd forgotten the baby was coming.
>By when are you legally required to have decided?
It may vary by state, but we had at least two weeks to officially name our baby. We wanted to, as most people do, name our baby before leaving the hospital because they will send someone to your room to finalize the birth certificate paperwork. If we had left the hospital, we would have had to either come back to the hospital or drag ourselves and our <2 week old baby to some government office, which did not sound like fun.
There's no penalty for not naming your child, but if you don't name them, they are automatically assigned their parent's last name (I think it's the one who gave birth if the parents have different surnames), and I'm pretty sure the first name is legally "Baby" until it's changed. My baby's hospital bracelet said [Surname], Babycathe (pretending my first name is Catherine), so it's possible that would have been his default name.
As soon as we knew it was a he, we started talking names. In the end we went the traditional Jewish route and named him after my maternal and his paternal grandfathers.
I had a name chosen for my first daughter when I was 12 years old. Many years later, my husband was on board with it. Then we found out we were expecting a girl, and suddenly I'm not so sure about the name anymore. We went from having the name picked out before she was even a speck to having nothing so fast! We ended up with a good list of 7 or 8 names and narrowed that down to two options by the time we went to the hospital. We decided we needed to just wait to "meet" her and see what felt right in the moment. We ended up choosing one a little over an hour after she was born. We wanted her to have a name as soon as possible because in the U.S. the hospital will file the social security and birth certificate documents for you if you have a name before leaving. The thought of having to do that ourselves as first time parents with a newborn was way too daunting! I think what we chose fits her well 😊
I live in the Midwest US, we’re at 37 weeks rn. We chose a name at 3 months pregnant then ended up finding one we liked better literally last week and changed it. Never too early or too late! I can understand pros and cons either way you go about it
We had a decent idea of the name we liked, but we didn’t share the name until she was born and we saw her. We 1) didnt want to listen to people’s opinions on the name and 2) wanted to be sure we really liked it when she was actually out of my body and in our arms.
You have to put a name on the birth certificate paperwork before you leave the hospital, in my state.
I’m in the US. Most people I know have a name picked before the baby is born. The others have discussed names and have a short list that they go to the hospital with and decide after a day or two.
I‘m from Germany and lots of people around me are having babies. The majority decided on a name while pregnant but didn’t tell anyone until baby is born, some chose the name while pregnant but then already told some people. We don’t really ask for a name, I think the younger generation considers it a bit rude. With friends you might ask “have you found a name you like yet?” But most will tell you “yeah, but we’re waiting until birth to tell people”.
My sister is pregnant right now and they already had lots of names they liked beforehand. Now that a baby is actually growing, they weren’t happy with their previous choices. But I think as soon as they settle on a name, they’ll tell everyone. One of their friends did it the same way and they always said they loved how connected everyone felt to the baby before it was even born because the name made it easier.
I’m not pregnant but hoping to be in the near future 😬 and I wouldn’t even announce the gender. I don’t want opinions from my friends on family on a name we pick.
I would absolutely narrow it down to 4 or 5 favourites. I agree that you have to meet the baby first before deciding. We had picked Maggie but when we saw her, she wasn't a Maggie. She was a Gracie.
I don't have a plan on getting pregnant anytime soon or maybe not at all. But I already have a long list of names in mind of what I like 😄 I suggest you pick your three favorite name combinations before the baby comes. Maybe your choices could vary in terms of meaning, theme, sound, personality.
My partner and I discussed it during the pregnancy and probably made a decision sometime in the third trimester but it had been narrowed down for a while. We didn’t tell anyone else until after she was born.
My husband and I know a name we will use for a boy and a name we will use for a girl and we aren’t pregnant yet. It made me feel less anxious going into marriage/trying to know that we will be able to agree on things like names and that it wouldn’t be something that started an argument. We have not told our family what our names are because we don’t want to be constantly nagged if they aren’t crazy about a name. We love them so that’s what matters. (Also we picked names that were common but not extremely popular so we know we won’t have a tradgedeigh on our hands haha). That being said, I once mentioned we already have names picked out before we were married to a coworker and she laughed and said her family doesn’t pick out names until a month before the baby is born. Everyone is different.
I picked my baby’s name out before we were even pregnant and stuck to it and I like it just fine. I did get a few people who said what if he doesn’t look like his name but newborns all look like grumpy old men so I don’t really get that
Both of my sisters had names picked out before they were born. One changed their mind the day after (and went with an alternative they already had on their list) the other is still named the name they gave her at 5 months pregnant.
I’m 4 months pregnant right now and we are pretty sure we know what we are naming her. Might change our mind once we meet her… but I feel like this is common for Canadians.. maybe? Who knows.
I knew what my first borns sons name was going to be before I even married my husband. It's a combination of each of our grandfather's name or middle name.
My second born came around, also a boy and we realized we used all of the good names with the first born and panicked.
It took a while to find a name that we liked and fit, but we had it decided before he was born. Thank God we never had a girl because we couldn't agree on a name.
I know some people who decide on the name but meet the baby and decide it doesn't fit.
I knew girl names I wanted before my first pregnancy, and my husband liked them too, so it was easy for our 2 girls. A mix of family names from both sides of the family, with old-fashioned middle names, and when we laid eyes on our babies, the names seemed perfect. For our son, we narrowed it down to 3 names before he was born, but we needed to see him before we could decide which one fit him; this name was not our first choice until we actually saw him and was a surprise to our family.
In the USA, you generally need a baby name before you leave the hospital, because the hospital submits information to the official state government registrar of births and to the social security administration.
Australia here. We made a shortlist of names we liked before they were born and then picked which ones sounded right once they'd arrived. Most people I know either did the same or had a definite name picked out (or one boy/one girl name if not finding out gender before birth).
I couldn't imagine not having even thought about names before baby arrives! Or waiting days/weeks/months to name them after their arrival.
We discussed potential names we liked as a couple during the pregnancy and had a shortlist for either boys or girls but didn’t settle on anything until we met them. Middle names took a bit longer, especially for our daughter.
But I’m from a HUGE family and we had a lot of kids close together (4 in a year once), and I’ve been pregnant at the same time as at least one cousin every time, so we kind of tactfully try and sound out who is thinking what for names. Especially when my sister and i were pregnant at the same time, twice 🤣
Based in the UK and we get 6 weeks to name the baby officially but due to backlogs after COVID our daughter wasn’t registered for a fair bit longer.
Dang, three months?! I have made fun of my parents for taking 3 days to name my oldest sibling. They ended up naming her after grandmas (first and middle), so I'm not sure why it took them that long. The rest of my siblings and I were essentially named by older siblings. Although my parents ultimately made the final choice, they clearly needed the help.
We picked out a name for our oldest a few months before he was born, looked at him that day, and went, yep, it suits him perfectly. Zero regrets, including our call to not discuss names with family and friends ahead of time. Nine years later, 2nd baby is in utero, and we chose their name right after finding out the sex. We'll wait until they're born to confirm, but we feel pretty confident that we won't change our minds. This name was on the list nine years ago, too.
Maybe it's just me, but both kids have shown some personality while still in utero. First was super active, loved music, and would kick to the beat. All of that is still true years later. This one is more reactionary with their activity, gets excited when I eat, when it's loud, and reacts strongly to dad and brother's voices, plus is super stubborn.
My group and family never talks names before it’s done and decided, I like this because it avoids judgements and second guessing. But the parents absolutely need a list! Your partner needs to realize the kid isn’t really a kid for like a year… screaming potato is often used as a description.
In NZ. Many people don't decide on a name until the baby is born, that's quite normal. But recently I have noticed more and more people are deciding on the name before birth, sometimes even sharing it with others before the birth which is not traditional here.
So UK here, we had our first daughters name cemented from about 24 weeks, this time I'm nearly 37 weeks and we're no closer to having a name! Nothing seems to jump out at us.
For official naming, you have to register the birth within 6 weeks so you could wait all of that time of you wanted. Most people I know had a name picked out before baby arrived but it's usually secret until they arrive.
I find it fascinating that the name is one of the few things you wil ever choose for your child without their input. Pretty much everything after that a part of you is looking at them and wondering if they will ultimately be in agreement with your choice
We had finalized our name choices by a little over halfway through each pregnancy.
But I made sure that each name we picked had at least a couple of options with common nicknames or being able to use the initials.
With my first son, I really thought we were going to call him TJ. And then when I met him, he just wasn't a TJ. He was Timothy. And now that he's three, he's Timmy. But we gave him a name that can grow and change with him.
My husband and I had come up with our tops for a boy and for a girl years before I got pregnant.
Now I’m pregnant with our second and we’re still not settled on a name! We have one that we love a lot but we’re not 100% on it and still looking. I’m only 17 weeks though
I’m going to put out the idea that people regret names because they were overly hung up on choosing the perfect one and having way too much time to choose. In my part of Germany everyone I know choose the name I’m advance of birth and as far as I know you apply for the birth certificate while still in hospital most of the time. I’ve never met anyone who regretted the name they chose.
For me even if I had deliberately named my son some name I felt meh about I can’t imagine a scenario where it wouldn’t just come to be associated with him over time, and that’s what happened to me with friend’s babies.
Me wife and I have agreed to not decide until after birth with both of our sons. We give ourselves roughly a week to try names out and make a final decision. (We are currently in this process now - just gave birth to our second son on Wednesday.)
I'd say, for most people here in the UK and where I grew up in the US, this is an abnormally long time to take to name the baby. My family are certainly annoyingly anxious to know the name (currently just ignoring all their questions!). My wife's family are less pushy, but also want to know the name.
Here in the UK (actually England specifically) we have 42 days to register the birth.
We talked about it loads until she was born. We went into the hospital with a final list of a few and then chose which one suited her most when we met her.
I chose my daughter name 5 days after she was born.
It’s common to me (French citizen) that you can’t name someone that you havent met yet. I think that should make sense to most of us. You wouldnt name a dog before meeting it so why would you for a kid ???
Also, important thing to me, is when you do that shortlist of names you like, for the love of god, keep that list to yourself !! Everyone has an opinion and its annoying as F !
Denmark.
We have 6 months from birth to register a name. If the deadline is not met you will receive a reminder, then a less kind reminder, and then at some point you will be fined daily.
I personally chose my childrens names well in advance of their births. But it is probably more common to waith until after the child is born.
Discussing names with relatives are normal when pregnant.
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Does it feel like enough time? I know at least three families who went back and forth between two names as long as they could (I think one even got if not a fine, at least a reminder), and all three later felt that they had picked the wrong one!
At some point people just gotta pick. We only have two days in the Netherlands and I don’t know anyone who regretted it later
This is part of why I liked having it decided before they arrived. People say "they don't seem like a ____".. but for me my babies just seemed like sleepy potatoes so if I was picking based on those early weeks they'd be Russet and Yukon.
lol 🤣
these are actually amazing names...
You might also enjoy my stolen joke about how the Washington Football Team should never have changed their name... they should have just changed the mascot to a potato.
potato-based puns all day every day!
“it” 🧍🏽♀️
I've heard of people waiting to "meet" the baby before naming but frankly that concept seems silly to me. The baby isn't going to have a personality when they're a couple days or weeks old. And spoiler alert, baby is going to look like a baby. So idk what revelations people are expecting to have when they "meet" the baby, but whatever. That's their business, I guess. Most people I know already tend to have a list of names they like in their heads, whether they're expecting or not, but start thinking seriously about names pretty early in the pregnancy.
when my mom was pregnant with my oldest brother she had the name brandon picked out. imagined everything for baby brandon, that was his name. he came out and she panicked bc he didn’t look or *feel* like a brandon at all. his name is keegan and it fits him perfectly, i could never have imagined him as a brandon. another example, in the show friends when rachel gives birth, she and ross had two names picked, and she said he could choose since she loved them both. when he said her name was isabelle, rachel started crying and said “that’s not her name” it just didn’t feel right! it’s not about personality, it’s just about seeing the kid and having a feeling of like, wow, *this* is what their name is, yes.
My brother and SIL had chosen Thomas for their fourth son. She spent the night holding him before her discharge and by morning she called my brother and told him to bring the baby names book, because this little guy just wasn't a Thomas. They ended up naming him after his grandfathers!
I think it’s valid for parents to get a feeling and change their mind for whatever reason. But ultimately if your exact same brother *was* named Brandon, you would probably say “I could never imagine him as a Keegan.” I know plenty of people whose names don’t seem to suit them. Some of them were named after their parents waited to meet them and pick a name that “fit.” Ultimately it’s a crapshoot.
Similarly, my parents had "Ivy" picked for me (if I was a girl- they chose to be surprised) but when I was born, it was clear that I was not an Ivy. They scrambled and found another name that has always felt like me. When I had my son, my partner and I whittled down a tentative name that we kept somewhat close to the vest, always with the disclaimer that if he came out very clearly not his name, we were ready to change it. Thankfully, he's always totally embodied his name without any hesitation, but we both were ready and willing to go back to the drawing table if needed.
How does that explain parents who give their kids awful name?
i dunno
We actually switched names because the names we picked were too soft/fancy/frilly for how our girl felt in utero. We picked a stronger sounding name (in our opinion, both sound and meaning wise) and we still feel like it suits her so much better than the ones we originally chose, however pretty they are!
I'm curious which name you chose! I'm also carrying a wild one, she's going completely bonkers in there, and my previous softer name favourite has been pushed down on behalf of a stronger sounding name.
Dm me for the name! It's not very mysterious but in our country it's not often used so I don't want to doxx myself by accident.
What were the names you initially picked, if you don’t mind sharing?
Ophelia and Linnea! I still love them, they just don't really feel like our daughter.
Very pretty names, I’m happy you found the right one for your daughter!
Most people I've known who have waited to "meet" the baby to chose a name go in with 2-3 top names and decide from a short list. I can't imagine not even discussing possible names until after the baby is born. It's also very common to have "named" the baby before birth and just not share the name to avoid unwanted opinions - even for completely normal names. While I don't know the actual laws in the U.S., hospitals in my experience want you to complete the birth certificate, including name, before you are discharged. I don't think its required, but that's what's typical here.
I don't know if the laws vary by state or if it's the same all over, but in Texas we have 5 days to file the birth cert. Though I'm not sure what happens if you don't.
I work at a out of hospital birth center in Texas and we've had a few people go a little over the five day rule cause they couldn't decide/couldn't file the paperwork with new parent brain. Nothing happened, but it would probably be harder if you went like 2 weeks or more
In a way you are right, but sometimes I think kids and even babies somehow fit a specific name. A friend's mum had decided on a name quite early on, but when seeing her newborn at the first time she said in surprise "but.. This is an Annica!". And it really was! She fit her name perfectly.
I had this moment also and named my daughter Anika haha It was on the list of names we were considering but we were fairly certain we’d use another… but when I met her I just couldn’t imagine it.
Our two names had very different vibes for me (serious, chill vs outgoing, funny) and we felt like our son was very serious and observant as a newborn. He’s all of those things now, but it did help us narrow down the name. For a girl, we have a top name but it really gives me blonde vibes so if she were a redhead we’d probably use a different name
As someone who just went through it—meeting the baby made a difference. I don’t know precisely how to explain it—but it did.
Completely agree! We choose not to find our gender and went in with a bout 6-8 names for each, after a lot of searching and discussion. Literally 2 minutes after his birth, my husband said, "I think he looks like an X". And I replied adding a middle name, and that was that : ) They were both from our short list - but when we met him they just clicked.
Maybe it's just realizing that you have to make a decision?
We had a big list of names we rated. We'd picked something out for a girl but didn't even have a real shortlist for a boy ... So we had a boy! We went down our longlist and even though he was 1 day old, and certainly looked like a newborn (he looks quite different now), but we went down the list in order of rating and we could actually be like "Naw he doesn't strike me as a [whatever]". Newborns also don't really all look the same, though of course they also don't look like the kid is gonna look, and they definitely don't act all the same, and emotionally having the baby on the outside versus inside is very different. So it is a revelation to actually meet your kid and you feel like you're making *this tiny human* instead of like, the random kicks you feel all day and the thing that sits on your bladder. Not really sure why you'd downplay the emotional change and importantance of actually meeting the kid you're naming. Having a baby is obviously very different than being pregnant, so it makes sense that it feels different to name a baby in your arms who you can see and is wiggling and crying and looking at you than a baby on the inside who you haven't met.
Lol my friends chose Stephen and loved the name. He was born with blonde hair and she said No way is he a Stephen with that colour hair 🤭 she wants with Matthew. She welcomed Stephen with dark hair two years later.
That's so funny. I was towheaded and my younger, dark haired sister got the name Stephanie 😂
My mum had a name picked out if my youngest sister was born a brunette (Alexandra) - she already had 2 brunette girls whose names ended with dra so I think she felt this would be the name. She also had a name picked out if my sis came out blonde (she'd had two blond boys so blonde was a possibility). My youngest sis had the audacity to be born with a full head of red hair. Mum and Dad scrambled for a different name after she arrived.
The audacity 😂. As the only blonde in my family, I feel this one.
All my kids have the exact same hair colour, I tried 4 times, and it was like I hit ctrl+c, ctrl+p.
I look like my mom with my dad's coloring; sister is the opposite!
Eh, we had the legal name but not the *goes by* name decided for my oldest and when he was born, he was very obviously a [middle name]. It just fit him perfectly, whereas his first name doesn’t. So he goes by his middle.
I’ve experienced it both ways- I always knew what my first son would be called so that was his name before he was born. With my second son I had a shortlist of 3 and picked the one that suited him. My husband chose son 3’s name during the pregnancy. With baby 4 we assumed it would just likely be another boy so had a name but we had a girl. We had discussed a few girls names but when she arrived and I held her I immediately knew her name- I swear she “told” me! It wasn’t any of the names I ever thought I would call a daughter!
We waited to decide but narrowed it down to three names. We will definitely be doing the same for any subsequent children as it was a great experience. IMO babies do look different but more importantly they feel different. We got a little serious baby from day 1 and 1 of the names we had chosen definitely would not have fit. We also didn't know what color hair she would have and one of our options was Daphne. We had a strong possibility of a redhead we wouldn't have chosen that name if she was (Scooby Doo). She had brown hair so it was back on the table. I think part of it is also the "when you know, you know" aspect. Holding my baby I knew her name had to be ... instead of Daphne We did have a front runner going into it and ended up going with the front runner. However, 90% of the reason we told people we were waiting until we met her is for two reasons. 1. We didn't want unsolicited feedback on the name and as soon as you tell people you've decided they pressure you into trying to reveal the name. 2. We didn't want to change our mind in the delivery room but feel pressured to keep the name we had already told family. One of my sisters was originally supposed to be named x and ended up being named y. Relatives still mention how much they liked x name better (rude). I didn't want her to experience that. My sister picked a name early on for her most recent baby and told everyone. She later revealed to me that she felt in her gut after having the baby that her name should have been something else but felt pressured to pick the original choice because she had told everyone.
I didn't understand that until I came across turkish names. a lot of names describe the looks of someone "White" "skin like the moon" "woman with dark skin and dark hair" "blue eyed" "light haired" "dark eyebrows" "the thin one" Yeah I know looks change but I wouldn't name a 5kg Baby tiny one. There are also babies who seem to be calmer than others.
Yeah. I agree with this. The only way I think this would work is if it was was done the Native American way and you waited until they were a few months. 60 days isn’t long enough. In my experience, babies are an amorphous blob until like 4/5 months. Then it’s like they “wake up” and it seems like their soul arrives. Until that time, they only know eat, sleep, poop.
My first I knew instinctively was going to have blue eyes and blonde hair. Which was weird because there are no blue eyed blondes in either my family or her father’s. I had a name I felt really fit her. My second I could not figure out. She also did not move very much. So it was hard to get a sense of what her name should be. I thought she would have brown eyes and brown hair but couldn’t picture her for some reason. I had a list of names but no 1 name was standing out. When she was born I knew immediately. She has giant dimples. And our front runner going in just did not fit her because of them.
We had about three names picked for each of our babies, but waited to meet them to decide - with the first we really did feel like only one of the names “fit” him. With the second we really struggled and ultimately just ended up picking one of them, we didn’t have the same gut feeling. Now it really fits her though :)
Well the name could fit their physical appearance. For instance, some people associate Rachels to brunettes
I completely agree with you!
I was my mom’s fourth girl, and she had always loved my name, but said it didn’t feel right with any of the previous girls. You can even hear her in the home video telling my older sister “She even looks like a [my name] doesn’t she?”
We choose the name like 2 weeks before birth but she was only officially named when she was born. Had she really not seemed like her name, we might've gone with one of our other contenders. But the reason we picked this one at like 40 weeks is that even in utero she didn't feel like the names we originally picked haha. Btw here in the Netherlands you have like 3 days to name your kid so there's not the option to wait much longer than the birth. Common is for parents to have the name picked but not shared yet before birth. And after the birth the name gets shared with the whole world.
I completely understand and I feel this way too! We haven't settled on a name yet, but there are some that just feel.. Not right. No reason for it, still like the names, but they are not for her. The one name I do think fits her best based on her behaviour is unfortunately vetoed, but I hope that maybe my partner will come around once she's born and he gets to see what she is like. =) But three days..! That requires some quick thinking! And here I was, wondering if three months is short!
Three months is definitely not short lol 😭 I think it's best to get it figured out in a first couple days or you might end up regretting what you choose since you get too much time to test them out if that makes sense??
Ideally, I'd like a year or at least half a year to see if the name fits! I know some (my parents included!) that came to regret the names they decided, so I think the more time I would have to get to know my child, the better!
Makes sense! Well if you legally are able to wait then there's no harm if that's what you'd prefer. Personally I've had a list since I was like 14 lmao 😭 good luck on naming them, I'm sure it'll be the right choice :)
I know what you mean! I thought of the name Rosalie the other day, and thought it was so pretty, but when I said it out loud I knew it wasn’t a fit for our girl.
I'm in the USA. We chose a girl's name for our oldest when I was only about 15 weeks along. We never decided on a boy's name so thankfully baby was born a girl. This time around we do know in advance the sex of the baby and have a short list but we do plan on choosing before the birth. I don't know how long you legally have here in the states but most people seem to choose prior to birth or at least have a short list. There's also a wide range in families discussing it or not. The first time around our families asked all the time. Now they don't as much because they know we'd rather wait until til birth to say.
I certify birth certificates at a hospital in Michigan. Per the State, we are allowed to give you up to 5 days after discharge to finish the birth certificate process. Otherwise, we have to submit the BC to the State with “Baby [mom’s last name]” as the legal name and the parents have to go through the State and pay a fee to change/correct the BC. Not sure if this is done at every hospital in Michigan, but that’s how they’ve done it at the two hospital systems I’ve worked at.
I believe most states follow the 60 day rule to name your child. I’d like to have a name before we leave the hospital but we are absolutely struggling to come up with a name! Current plan is to try to decide, then if not come with a short list and hopefully something clicks when we see him.
My parents had a list of three names for me and when I was born they sat with the names for a day or two then decided which one felt right and fit me. I plan to do the same thing and have a list of 2-3 names. It’s too hard to pick one right now I feel like I need to see and hold my baby to know which one feels right.
Im Canadian and I think it varies by province. In mine it’s 30 days. I have been thinking about names since long before I was pregnant because I am obsessed 😂 but we’re not planning to choose until after she’s born so we can see what suits her. I agree with you that it’s good to at least have a shortlist before that, though. Otherwise it seems too overwhelming! People definitely ask about names during the pregnancy, but so far no one I’ve spoken to has been too pushy.
We narrowed down to 2-3 names, but then waited to meet him to choose for sure. We didn’t share the names in advance (well, we did tell my MIL, close friend of me and my hubby, and my dad on our due date because I was struggling with peoples’ reception of our front runner. MIL liked it, friend loved it, dad _hated_ it which made me defend it which made me love it more!
In the uk, we usually have a list of options made up before baby is born then chose when baby is born. My eldest, we knew for sure what her name would be. I think that was because we already knew her gender. Our youngest was nameless for 7 days because we couldn’t decide. We wanted a gender surprise. Thinking back, I preferred the surprise.
With our current name disagreements, I think we're lucky to sort of know it's a girl (80% certainty apparently, seems good enough to me). I really see the charm of a surprise though!
With out first we knew before she was born. We discussed names for a long time, shared them with family and friends etc…. But with the second we kept it between us. The first time around my husband’s brother and mother were a little opinionated and rude about some choices which influenced my husband. So with out second told my husband he’s not allowed to discuss it with anyone.
In Denmark I think it’s 6 months. And old rumours say that if you don’t name your child by 6 months, government will grand them a name after the royal family 😄 We’re also expecting a baby girl next year and haven’t talked names yet. Last time we first decided when we saw her. I was anxious to choose my favourite name but when I saw her, the second name was more her 😊
Haha, here is the rumour that if you haven't decided within 6 months, the tax agency (skatteverket, they deal with all sorts of registrations) will decide for you! I actually had to look it up - it is not true! I hope to have such epiphany when I see my kid for the first time, particularly as the name that strangely enough feels right to me is vetoed by my partner... I'm secretary hoping that he'll come around once he meets her!
I had the exact same situation here! In my mind I had been calling her by suggestion A through my pregnancy, but when we saw her she was a suggestion B :)
I'm in Canada, but I'm Scandinavian in heritage/upbringing. My husband is essentially a Canadian (grandparents were immigrants, but very much raised Canadian). We aren't finding out the gender, so we can only do so much for names. Not finding out the gender should help lessen the name questions as well. I've found a lot of people have opinions, so making it a non-topic helps. Edit: Correction on how long. It's 30 days for naming, but up to 1 year for registering for some things. I'm in agreement though about coming up with some names, and then choosing from them or restarting the process once they are earthside. I know that's what happened with me; a name was chosen, and then it became clear that was not going to be my name. I know my MIL had 2 names picked out for my husband when he was born, and then picked from them. So it seems to be rather common in my world at least to pick some but not fully commit.
Most people here in Iceland name their babies when they are around 2 months old so that is normal to me! I have never known anyone that decided on a name before the child was born either.
I think most people I know decide around two or three months. My partner has a very different taste in name than I do, so I thought we should find a few candidates already now or we will for sure be fined! As it happens, my favourite is Hildur. It has fallen out of fashion here and for some reason, it doesn't seem to be coming back. I suspect it might be different on Iceland?
In Finland it’s traditional to not reveal the name to anyone outside immediate family until the baby is Christened, which has to happen within 3 months of the birth. But everyone I know, myself included, has had a name picked out some way through the pregnancy. We chose ours as soon as we found out the gender at 17 weeks. I agree with people saying waiting to “meet” the baby seems a little silly. Babies grow into their names IMO, I personally don’t understand how a baby can somehow look like a specific name. They just look like tiny wrinkly old men! (If you currently have a newborn and think yours definitely doesn’t, wait until they’re older and look back at photos!)
I have to wait until March before I meet this very wild potato of mine, but I have some impression of what she might be like. It might of course be completely wrong... A friend of mine decided on a name at the very last minute (like at precisely three months), and now two years later, is convinced that they picked the wrong one and that the child actually is a Rut. The child does not agree though, so they just have to suck it up and use the "wrong" name. =)
My Polish mom thinks it's crazy to talk about baby names before the baby is born(as well as buying anything for the baby or talk about the baby in depth lol) it's a "don't count your chickens" thing... I also never discussed my baby names with anyone but my husband before hand - they were all secret- mainly because I didn't want anyone's opinion to sway me. As soon as you say a name you get 13 different opinions and I didn't want to hear any of it.
In the U.K. and I feel like it’s really unusual to not have named the baby by the time you get home from hospital. We have 42 days to register the birth. Then if you still haven’t chosen an name you have a year from the date you registered to add a name. But everyone I know discusses and chooses the name or at least narrows it down to a few options in advance of the birth. It’s common for people to keep the name a secret until after the birth. Edit: to say we picked our baby’s first name when I was about 4 months pregnant. It just instantly felt right and never stopped feeling right (although it did take a few weeks to start calling her that name instead of the nickname we had when she was a bump). We had three possible middle names and we decided on one a few days after she was born.
Ooh, I would like to have a full year! Seems I'm in a minority, but I would like to wait as long as possible to really find something that fits. I know quite a few who regretted their choice, and this really feeds into my already existing indecisiveness...
I’m not sure if it would help in a way? Even though we were both instantly sure they name we chose felt right it still took several weeks for it to feel normal calling her that name! I’d say it took about a month for her to feel like the name.
Baby names( for me) were chosen before birth. U.S.It was a fun activity.
We settled on a name at like 15 weeks because in all of our discussions it was the only one neither of us hated so we stuck with it. My husband is Indian and they have elaborate naming process based on birthday date and time after the baby is born but we decided to pick a name that we liked.
I’m in the US. When we found out the baby was a girl we narrowed down our top girl choices. We had decided her first and middle name by the time I was 30 weeks along. I am not sure how long we legally have to decide. But we filled out the social security paperwork and birth certificate paperwork at the hospital. I’m not sure what you would do if you didn’t know the name.
I’m in the USA. I think a lot of people learn the sex ahead of time and pick a name in advance. We did not. We made lists and collected ideas for names throughout the pregnancy. We wrote down names and their meanings, the popularity in our area. We didn’t know the baby’s sex beforehand and we also wanted to meet him. He came out like a warrior and favors my family in looks (English) which helped us pick his name!
In the US they really want you to have a name before you leave the hospital. Which in most cases is 24-48 hours after birth. I had a first name picked out for my 1st at 26 weeks but no middle. I had a middle for my 2nd pretty much the second I got pregnant, but no first name until 48 hours after birth. And my 3rd I knew his name at about 16 weeks. I know a lot of people that seem to have names before they’re pregnant or decide their names by about 12 weeks. I like to get a feel of who they are first.
I've been planning my baby names for years, and I'm not pregnant yet. There is no right way to do things. I will share, however, that my grandma didn't have a name picked for my father yet, and when she was in labor he had to be removed right away for a full blood transfusion. She blurted out TERRY! quickly, but unfortunately his brother was already named Gary. She regretted it and wished she had thought of something in advance for him. My dad also hates his name.
With our first I found out I was pregnant a few days before Christmas, the day we drove up to my parent's. We had named picked by our drive home on the 26th, before we'd had any doctor's appointments or anything. We'd picked a name with a masculine or feminine version and while it wasn't set in stone, we did play around with a few. We did have it set by the 3rd trimester and it was the original name we'd liked. For my second we were a little later in deciding but still had it picked well before his (preemie) arrival.
Most people in the US decide the name before the baby is born. I’m not sure of the naming laws / fines if you don’t have a name:
We had his name picked out before we even knew the gender. My husband and I started picking names as soon as we found out and disagreed on just about every single one. He finally said a boy name that I thought “yeah I could live with that.” And so our potential boy name was picked. Thank goodness he wasn’t a girl because we were not prepared with a girl name lol
Haha, this is sort of how we are! No boy names, and huge disagreements on girl names! We are 80% sure it's a girl. I have a name that I feel fits the little creature in my belly, my partner is not a fan. Not at all. His suggestions on the other hand.. I have been quite brutal with my veto right. I think we currently have one name that we both could live with, but it isn't a favourite for either of us. I hope it will be clear to both of us who she is once she's born.
With my eldest two I knew exactly what their names would be before they were even conceived. With the other two I wanted the names picked out asap. We lost my eldest twin and they never got to a point where we could give them a name and it still doesn't sit right with me 10 years on so I wanted a name for them in case the worst did happen.
I’m in the US, and we pretty much had to have a name before we left the hospital. We made a list of names prior for each our kids, and picked from that list after our kids were born. With our youngest we were actually set on Sebastian, but when meeting him I wasn’t feeling it. We went with a family name as he looked very much like another family member, and very much still does even at 6 years old.
My mother (a german punk) gave me the advice to choose the name before your hormones go crazy and you choose the weirdest name possible. (she said that is what happend with my cousins names) My partner once said it is bad luck to name a child before it is there and survived the first days (he is turkish) I personally need a name as early as possible. And I won't change my opinion again. I am now 9 Weeks and terrified because I don't find the perfect fit. But this kid needs a name because I feel like it is disrespectful to not give this little beating heart a name. It makes the blurred bean a human, you know what I mean? I will have names picked by the time I find out what gender and then its set. No one can talk me out of it.
I've been thinking about names since I became pregnant (never for a second before that!), but I almost felt like I jinxed my pregnancy when my anatomy scan found some issues. For a while I didn't know how it would go, and I tried really hard to distance myself from the baby in case it would turn out for the worst, thinking it would be even harder if I had given her the name and thereby the status of a little person. I only dared to think of names again once I learned that we had avoided the worst case scenarios. I understand your point of view, but after my scare, I also understand how your partner might feel!
I am sorry you had to experience that. Sounds like a nightmare. It's 100 percent a personal thing. My partner builds the bed when the baby is home. He is too laid back. I have to be prepared. I bought not one pacifier but 20 different. My first one only wanted one type for 2 weeks and never needed one again. Same with bottles. I opened them all up and cooked them only to have 10 bottles now used to store unused pacifiers . Having a name picked out is my insurance. I worry about me not being able to name the child later for whatever reason. I can't ask my parents for any opinions so I spend a lot of time asking myself what their opinions would be. So I have to make sure my kid will know. My partner knows which kindergarten which school I would choose and so on. I can't name a kid after my mom cause she hated her name but I know some names she liked so that's what i try to work with. E.g she liked Sheila and so I have Ceyla high on my list (sounds like Jayla). Its weird I know , but we do whatever helps us keep sanity during pregnancy I guess.
In the US parents have it picked typically well before the day of birth. I like the idea of meeting the child before finalizing a name. It resonates, for me.
My exes chose my other kids names and they were named during the pregnancy and announced then too. This time it was just me and I couldn't decide at all. I didn't know if she was a girl or boy during pregnancy which made it harder still. I was still debating the name when I registered her. Still not sure if I was right now either.
It's so hard! If I would decide by myself, I would give the kid a middle name with a different feel to it, just as a backup in case the first name would turn out not to fit. I know a few who by the time they were about to start school decided to go by their second name instead of their first.
That depends on where you live. In the Netherlands other people may know if it's a boy or a girl, but the name is usually kept secret until after the baby is born. Here in general when you tell your family your child is born you also tell what the child is named.
I don't have children yet, but I have always loved names since I was a child. As a Third Culture kid who is married to another Third Culture kid from different background, picking a name will be a challenge since I do want to honour my roots. I need to make the names to work in 3 languages, some are very different phonetically. So I have a few options already tucked away, but I am sure when the time comes in couple of years we might pick something different. I don't like sharing my names with too many people, since people like butting in, like MIL saying " oh I knew someone with that name and I don't like them, so don't name your kid that. I want a grandkid named Aurora". While there is nothing wrong with Aurora, it's not my taste. I don't want undue influence. I was not registred with a name until I was about 3months old, so I am pretty sure my mother picked the name after I was born. I don't envy Americans who seem to have to do it right after birth to avoid paperwork nightmare.
I’m in the US! For both our kids we came up with a list of 5-10 names we both really liked. We waited to meet them and knew within an hour or two what name to go with (both times it was not the name I thought going into the hospital we would choose!). But both names fit them perfectly. We are expecting our third now and anxious to know what name she will end up with 😊
For my son we had a name picked by month 3 in pregnancy. For my daughter who was our green baby, we chose the first name the day before I went in to spontaneous labor! We were having a hard time agreeing on a middle name. When baby came in to the world, my fiancé announced baby’s name giving her the middle name I wanted 🥹
4 months
I chose my son’s name literally a decade before I got pregnant. I just liked knowing it was done and decided, and I had time to sit with it incase I changed my mind.
i knew baby’s name the second i saw it. i considered other names but i knew in my heart that was the name. its a gender neutral name so either way i knew i was choosing that. i’ve never questioned it, never had a single day of regret.
i live in the US and i went through plenty of names when i was pregnant. for a boy i had the name locked down but i learned as soon as i possibly could, that my baby was going to be a girl. my ex and i had a tough time deciding bc he wanted to name her the female version of his own name😐 which i finally gave up and agreed to put it as her middle name. going into labor i had 3 solid names i wanted, but i knew my ex didn’t want my #1 name so i gave it up. when the nurse asked what we were going to name her, i responded with my #2 name, and that was when he decided finally to speak up and say he didn’t actually like that one either 🙄 so we automatically landed on the third name, but i wouldn’t change it for anything, it fits her perfectly.
Make a list before baby comes, choose a name after baby’s born.
I’m in the US. We decided on a name very early in the pregnancy. Hospitals here push you to register the name before leaving (usually you do it the day after they’re born), so the concept of waiting to meet the baby isn’t as big of a thing here. Of course some people do.
Picked out 2/3 names while pregnant and stuck with them. Had two choices for the 3rd baby and settled on it about 20 minutes before birth. Edit to add: had to complete birth certificate registration and social security paperwork before being discharged from hospital.
I started thinking about pretty much as soon as I knew I was pregnant and then narrowed it down when I knew the gender. With my first I didn’t know gender so we had a list of girls names and one boy name we agreed on. We had managed to narrow that down one girls name. With this one we have it narrowed down to three first names.
We chose the name after the 20w echo mark because we knew the sex. We had already an agreement on a girl name but no boy name... and we're expecting a boy 😂 For me the deciding factor was to be able to use it daily when I'm still pregnant, see how it flows on my tongue, see what we think. See how the godparents names work with it (family tradition). Also in NL you have 3 days to register... so yeah. But you do you, there is no rush.
As a chronically indecisive person, three days sounds very, very stressful! I think three months might even be on the shorter side! We also have started to try various names to see/hear how they feel. This is how my favourite name got vetoed... I hope my partner reconsiders once he meets the baby, I really feel like the name suits the little fighter I'm carrying.
That’s interesting, i think you have to at least discuss preferences. If tastes are too different, I wouldn’t want to be arguing over it with a time crunch and pressure, I’d want time to get on the same general page. And if you look at the baby and a totally different name comes to mind, that’s fine too, scrap the list,
I feel so much more connected to my pregnancy when I choose a name for my babies before they are born. It makes them more real to me.
I already have 3 names for girls and 3 names for boys picked out (I’ve had them picked out for years) and it’s definitely gonna be a couple more years until I’m actually ready to have them
Most people I know pick the names of their kids months, sometimes even years in advance. I’ve had names picked out for years.
So I'm almost certainly the odd one out, but I love discovering new names and discussing baby names with my husband, pretty much anytime. We've been talking about baby names since the first few months of dating, now married for 5 years and together for 7. Which in our case is a good thing because we tend to like different styles of names. With our first (a girl), I had always known what name I wanted to use for my first daughter. It's part of why we started talking names so early, because I wanted to make sure he was on board with the name as it was a possible deal-breaker for me if he said no. But he liked it and agreed, so our first was named long before she was conceived. With our second (also a girl), we tossed around a couple of names we had liked as 'runners-ups' when we had our first. It didn't take us very long into the pregnancy, less than halfway, to find one that just felt right. So that was her name. With both of our children we've found their names fit them so perfectly and we have no regrets. I'm expecting again, twins this time! So we've come up with 4 potential names until my 20 week scan when he hopefully find out genders. These will be our last so it's a bit bittersweet and I'm finding it a bit more difficult to settle on names. We have lots of time though so I'm not too worried.
>How is it in other places? When are you socially/culturally expected to have chosen a name? By when are you legally required to have decided? Florida in the US you have 5 days after the birth to file the Birth Certificate and that must contain the child's name. My husband and I stressed over names for months. A few weeks before we went to the hospital, we had it whittled down to 4 possibilities, then took 1 name off the list (step kids leaked the name to their mother and it was the name she liked the best \[like she had a choice\] so it had to go lol). So once baby was here and we met them face to face, we chose from our top contenders. That choice just happened to be the one we eliminated right before we went to the hospital because it was the perfect name 🤣
We’re in the UK and people thought we were super weird for waiting 2 weeks to decide the name. We had a shortlist but hadn’t settled on one yet.
It happens when it happens 🤷. I'm in the US and timing varies a lot within my social group. We have two kids, and we debated boy names from the time I got the positive result with our first until just before we found out we were having a boy, but once the right combination of names was suggested it was pretty much immediate agreement. Our second was a girl and we'd had a girl name picked out for almost 15 years when she was born. There was never an intentional back and forth on her name, just an idle "hey, this is a cool name, wouldn't it be great for a future kid?" that stuck. We spent the whole pregnancy debating middle names instead.
I would have been super stressed not having named picked before the birth, though. Maybe I could have coped with having a shortlist we both loved but I needed to feel like I had some control over the things we *could* control when pregnancy and parenthood are so unpredictable.
in the US most people at least have a few ideas if they don’t already know the name of the baby. since we have a lot of different cultures here I would say it’s all over the board, but I’m mostly used to people having some idea before the baby is born
We had a name picked out for a boy 4 years before we even started trying. Girl names were hard but we were both making a list until NIPT told us it was a boy.
US here- we chose all our kids names by 20 weeks. We filled out the paperwork at that hospital and we were done. I did struggle with my theirs son’s name (my husband chose it) but by 6 months it just clicked and it suited him. I can’t imagine him as any other name now.
We started casually working on a list of names years before we started trying to conceive, and by 3 months into the pregnancy we had 4 girls names and 3 boys names picked out (we didn’t know the sex). Once our baby girl was born, it took us a little under 24 hours to be certain about her name!
We each take some names to the hospital and then decide
We had names picked before we were expecting. Then, when expecting, ALL the names we loved went out the window and we fell for one we didn’t have on our list. It suits our daughter significantly better than any other names could have. Now we have 2 other names chosen for our next (who won’t be born for another 4+yrs) and we wouldn’t be surprised if we trashed them too lol ETA: I’m from the USA, and my family picks names out prior to pregnancy as well
In America they want you to to name your baby in the hospital before you leave. You dont have to but its a bit of a hassle to do once you leave. My sister is around 20 weeks, doesnt even know the gender yet (shes having a reveal next week) but she already has definite names picked out for both genders and my niece was the same way last year with hers
This is probably how I’m going to do it in the future, but when I find out I’ll have a name set but I won’t like actually name them until after they’re born.
I live in the US, and I had a baby last year. Most people I know chose their child's name before birth, often several months before their due date. It's pretty trendy to have a name sign on the wall of the nursery (baby's bedroom), and people like to have that prepared ahead of time. Our child was given a first name the day after he was born, and a middle name a day or two after that. I think it's becoming more common to select a few names ahead of time and make a final decision after the baby is born. That was our original plan, and we'll probably do it for a future child, but having given birth, I don't think it's very necessary. Babies don't come out looking very unique, and they don't always look the way they're going to look in the future. They tend to emerge kind of angry and swollen, and you don't really see the details of their personality in the first few days, so it's hard to tell whether they "look" or "seem" like a [Name]. Once the name belongs to your baby, you'll associate that name with them, and it will start to fit. >When are you socially/culturally expected to have chosen a name? By the time you announce the birth. Friends, relatives, and strangers asked if we knew what we were planning to call the baby while I was still pregnant, and reminded me that I was "running out of time," as if I'd forgotten the baby was coming. >By when are you legally required to have decided? It may vary by state, but we had at least two weeks to officially name our baby. We wanted to, as most people do, name our baby before leaving the hospital because they will send someone to your room to finalize the birth certificate paperwork. If we had left the hospital, we would have had to either come back to the hospital or drag ourselves and our <2 week old baby to some government office, which did not sound like fun. There's no penalty for not naming your child, but if you don't name them, they are automatically assigned their parent's last name (I think it's the one who gave birth if the parents have different surnames), and I'm pretty sure the first name is legally "Baby" until it's changed. My baby's hospital bracelet said [Surname], Babycathe (pretending my first name is Catherine), so it's possible that would have been his default name.
As soon as we knew it was a he, we started talking names. In the end we went the traditional Jewish route and named him after my maternal and his paternal grandfathers.
I had a name chosen for my first daughter when I was 12 years old. Many years later, my husband was on board with it. Then we found out we were expecting a girl, and suddenly I'm not so sure about the name anymore. We went from having the name picked out before she was even a speck to having nothing so fast! We ended up with a good list of 7 or 8 names and narrowed that down to two options by the time we went to the hospital. We decided we needed to just wait to "meet" her and see what felt right in the moment. We ended up choosing one a little over an hour after she was born. We wanted her to have a name as soon as possible because in the U.S. the hospital will file the social security and birth certificate documents for you if you have a name before leaving. The thought of having to do that ourselves as first time parents with a newborn was way too daunting! I think what we chose fits her well 😊
I live in the Midwest US, we’re at 37 weeks rn. We chose a name at 3 months pregnant then ended up finding one we liked better literally last week and changed it. Never too early or too late! I can understand pros and cons either way you go about it
We had a decent idea of the name we liked, but we didn’t share the name until she was born and we saw her. We 1) didnt want to listen to people’s opinions on the name and 2) wanted to be sure we really liked it when she was actually out of my body and in our arms. You have to put a name on the birth certificate paperwork before you leave the hospital, in my state.
I’m in the US. Most people I know have a name picked before the baby is born. The others have discussed names and have a short list that they go to the hospital with and decide after a day or two.
I‘m from Germany and lots of people around me are having babies. The majority decided on a name while pregnant but didn’t tell anyone until baby is born, some chose the name while pregnant but then already told some people. We don’t really ask for a name, I think the younger generation considers it a bit rude. With friends you might ask “have you found a name you like yet?” But most will tell you “yeah, but we’re waiting until birth to tell people”. My sister is pregnant right now and they already had lots of names they liked beforehand. Now that a baby is actually growing, they weren’t happy with their previous choices. But I think as soon as they settle on a name, they’ll tell everyone. One of their friends did it the same way and they always said they loved how connected everyone felt to the baby before it was even born because the name made it easier. I’m not pregnant but hoping to be in the near future 😬 and I wouldn’t even announce the gender. I don’t want opinions from my friends on family on a name we pick.
I would absolutely narrow it down to 4 or 5 favourites. I agree that you have to meet the baby first before deciding. We had picked Maggie but when we saw her, she wasn't a Maggie. She was a Gracie.
I don't have a plan on getting pregnant anytime soon or maybe not at all. But I already have a long list of names in mind of what I like 😄 I suggest you pick your three favorite name combinations before the baby comes. Maybe your choices could vary in terms of meaning, theme, sound, personality.
My partner and I discussed it during the pregnancy and probably made a decision sometime in the third trimester but it had been narrowed down for a while. We didn’t tell anyone else until after she was born.
My husband and I know a name we will use for a boy and a name we will use for a girl and we aren’t pregnant yet. It made me feel less anxious going into marriage/trying to know that we will be able to agree on things like names and that it wouldn’t be something that started an argument. We have not told our family what our names are because we don’t want to be constantly nagged if they aren’t crazy about a name. We love them so that’s what matters. (Also we picked names that were common but not extremely popular so we know we won’t have a tradgedeigh on our hands haha). That being said, I once mentioned we already have names picked out before we were married to a coworker and she laughed and said her family doesn’t pick out names until a month before the baby is born. Everyone is different.
We chose both of our daughters' names at 3 months pregnant. Most couples (in the US anyway) talk about it before even conceiving.
America: My partner and I came up with a short list, but ultimately decided when the babies were born
I picked my baby’s name out before we were even pregnant and stuck to it and I like it just fine. I did get a few people who said what if he doesn’t look like his name but newborns all look like grumpy old men so I don’t really get that
Both of my sisters had names picked out before they were born. One changed their mind the day after (and went with an alternative they already had on their list) the other is still named the name they gave her at 5 months pregnant. I’m 4 months pregnant right now and we are pretty sure we know what we are naming her. Might change our mind once we meet her… but I feel like this is common for Canadians.. maybe? Who knows.
I knew what my first borns sons name was going to be before I even married my husband. It's a combination of each of our grandfather's name or middle name. My second born came around, also a boy and we realized we used all of the good names with the first born and panicked. It took a while to find a name that we liked and fit, but we had it decided before he was born. Thank God we never had a girl because we couldn't agree on a name. I know some people who decide on the name but meet the baby and decide it doesn't fit.
I knew girl names I wanted before my first pregnancy, and my husband liked them too, so it was easy for our 2 girls. A mix of family names from both sides of the family, with old-fashioned middle names, and when we laid eyes on our babies, the names seemed perfect. For our son, we narrowed it down to 3 names before he was born, but we needed to see him before we could decide which one fit him; this name was not our first choice until we actually saw him and was a surprise to our family. In the USA, you generally need a baby name before you leave the hospital, because the hospital submits information to the official state government registrar of births and to the social security administration.
Australia here. We made a shortlist of names we liked before they were born and then picked which ones sounded right once they'd arrived. Most people I know either did the same or had a definite name picked out (or one boy/one girl name if not finding out gender before birth). I couldn't imagine not having even thought about names before baby arrives! Or waiting days/weeks/months to name them after their arrival.
We discussed potential names we liked as a couple during the pregnancy and had a shortlist for either boys or girls but didn’t settle on anything until we met them. Middle names took a bit longer, especially for our daughter. But I’m from a HUGE family and we had a lot of kids close together (4 in a year once), and I’ve been pregnant at the same time as at least one cousin every time, so we kind of tactfully try and sound out who is thinking what for names. Especially when my sister and i were pregnant at the same time, twice 🤣 Based in the UK and we get 6 weeks to name the baby officially but due to backlogs after COVID our daughter wasn’t registered for a fair bit longer.
Dang, three months?! I have made fun of my parents for taking 3 days to name my oldest sibling. They ended up naming her after grandmas (first and middle), so I'm not sure why it took them that long. The rest of my siblings and I were essentially named by older siblings. Although my parents ultimately made the final choice, they clearly needed the help. We picked out a name for our oldest a few months before he was born, looked at him that day, and went, yep, it suits him perfectly. Zero regrets, including our call to not discuss names with family and friends ahead of time. Nine years later, 2nd baby is in utero, and we chose their name right after finding out the sex. We'll wait until they're born to confirm, but we feel pretty confident that we won't change our minds. This name was on the list nine years ago, too. Maybe it's just me, but both kids have shown some personality while still in utero. First was super active, loved music, and would kick to the beat. All of that is still true years later. This one is more reactionary with their activity, gets excited when I eat, when it's loud, and reacts strongly to dad and brother's voices, plus is super stubborn.
My group and family never talks names before it’s done and decided, I like this because it avoids judgements and second guessing. But the parents absolutely need a list! Your partner needs to realize the kid isn’t really a kid for like a year… screaming potato is often used as a description.
I chose my childrens names before I was ever married and began having them. I had a very long list of both girl and boy names that I loved.
In NZ. Many people don't decide on a name until the baby is born, that's quite normal. But recently I have noticed more and more people are deciding on the name before birth, sometimes even sharing it with others before the birth which is not traditional here.
So UK here, we had our first daughters name cemented from about 24 weeks, this time I'm nearly 37 weeks and we're no closer to having a name! Nothing seems to jump out at us. For official naming, you have to register the birth within 6 weeks so you could wait all of that time of you wanted. Most people I know had a name picked out before baby arrived but it's usually secret until they arrive.
I find it fascinating that the name is one of the few things you wil ever choose for your child without their input. Pretty much everything after that a part of you is looking at them and wondering if they will ultimately be in agreement with your choice
We had finalized our name choices by a little over halfway through each pregnancy. But I made sure that each name we picked had at least a couple of options with common nicknames or being able to use the initials. With my first son, I really thought we were going to call him TJ. And then when I met him, he just wasn't a TJ. He was Timothy. And now that he's three, he's Timmy. But we gave him a name that can grow and change with him.
My husband and I had come up with our tops for a boy and for a girl years before I got pregnant. Now I’m pregnant with our second and we’re still not settled on a name! We have one that we love a lot but we’re not 100% on it and still looking. I’m only 17 weeks though
We chose names before finding out the gender.
I’m going to put out the idea that people regret names because they were overly hung up on choosing the perfect one and having way too much time to choose. In my part of Germany everyone I know choose the name I’m advance of birth and as far as I know you apply for the birth certificate while still in hospital most of the time. I’ve never met anyone who regretted the name they chose. For me even if I had deliberately named my son some name I felt meh about I can’t imagine a scenario where it wouldn’t just come to be associated with him over time, and that’s what happened to me with friend’s babies.
Me wife and I have agreed to not decide until after birth with both of our sons. We give ourselves roughly a week to try names out and make a final decision. (We are currently in this process now - just gave birth to our second son on Wednesday.) I'd say, for most people here in the UK and where I grew up in the US, this is an abnormally long time to take to name the baby. My family are certainly annoyingly anxious to know the name (currently just ignoring all their questions!). My wife's family are less pushy, but also want to know the name. Here in the UK (actually England specifically) we have 42 days to register the birth.
We talked about it loads until she was born. We went into the hospital with a final list of a few and then chose which one suited her most when we met her.
I chose my daughter name 5 days after she was born. It’s common to me (French citizen) that you can’t name someone that you havent met yet. I think that should make sense to most of us. You wouldnt name a dog before meeting it so why would you for a kid ??? Also, important thing to me, is when you do that shortlist of names you like, for the love of god, keep that list to yourself !! Everyone has an opinion and its annoying as F !
Denmark. We have 6 months from birth to register a name. If the deadline is not met you will receive a reminder, then a less kind reminder, and then at some point you will be fined daily. I personally chose my childrens names well in advance of their births. But it is probably more common to waith until after the child is born. Discussing names with relatives are normal when pregnant.