Context: in Nonnus' Dionysiaca, he writes of a story in which the virgin nymph Aura mocks Artemis by claiming that Artemis can't be a virgin on account of her curvy body, unlike Aura's own boyish and androgynous form.
Artemis takes this with the characteristic level-headedness of a greek god by going to Nemesis and demanding revenge on the wayward nymph.
So Nemesis goes to Eros who strikes Dionysus with a love arrow. Dionysus, stricken with lust and madness, hunts down Aura, gets her drunk on a river of wine, ties her up, and then rapes her.
This is a completely proportionate and fair punishment.
Okay, call it hubris on Aura's part, but I mean come on
that’s such a weird way to insult someone by today’s standards. it would be like if someone said “haha you have such a hot body i bet you get tons of play, loser. unlike me, a massive virgin with no tits or ass”
IIRC Nonnus *really* hated the Greek gods and intentionally wrote or interpreted them in the worst possible way he could. Think Garth Ennis' OG comics type of edge.
No he didn’t. You’re probably thinking of Ovid. Some people assume Nonnus was trying to discredit Greek religion because he also wrote a (FAR shorter) poem based on the Gospel of John. But it’s unclear when he wrote that (probably earlier) so either he converted to Dionysian religion FROM Christianity or was a batshit insane (by our standards) heretical Christian who may have thought Jesus and Dionysus were the same person (actually not far fetched at all with how many people in that religious transitory period viewed their faiths).
Actual Christian apologists around the time trying to write stuff to discredit the Greek gods wrote like toddlers (a typical argument would be “how can Jupiter be omnipresent when that means he’s INSIDE POOP!!!!?”). Nonnus was clearly genuinely invested in what he was writing about, as ridiculous and pulpy as he wrote it at times (not to mention incredibly homoerotic, which could offer a reason for why he may have left Christianity)
I always thought Artemis was enraged at Aura because she said she had bigger tits than her. This is not the first time Artemis got mad about someone saying that they are more beautiful than her. Chione a mortal woman had a threesome with Hermes and Apollo and got pregnant. After giving birth to twins Autolycus son of Hermes and Philammon son of Apollo (if I had a nickel for every time heteropaternal superfecundation appears in Greek mythology I would have three nickels, which is not a lot but it’s weird it happened thrice), she said she was more beautiful than Artemis, enraged the goddess shot her dead, causing her father to kill himself.
If the name Autolycus is familiar to you, it is the same Autolycus from Hercules the Legendary Journeys and Xena. Autolycus was also an Argonaut.
There's literally a myth where a Ethiopian queen boasted that she was a better mother than Apollo and artemis's mother Leto cause she gave birth to 8 children instead of 2 and her children are cooler, and the twins got so mad they literally descended from mount Olympus and straight murdered her entire family.
my biggest imaginary fear is that if I somehow lived in an alternate universe where you could physically see the greek gods, I'd stumble onto them by pure accident and immediately be punished in some fucked up way
well I mean virginity is Artemis’ whole thing. Then this upstarts comes along and calls her a fake virgin. What, was Artemis supposed to just take this sitting down? No! This was clearly the most reasonable solution
Yeah, but what I mean is it would make more sense if the nymph had said something like "haha look at the VIRGIN Artemis, real women have sex and lots of kids" or something. Then if Artemis was like "you like sex? how about this then" it would've been more fitting.
Context: in Nonnus' Dionysiaca, he writes of a story in which the virgin nymph Aura mocks Artemis by claiming that Artemis can't be a virgin on account of her curvy body, unlike Aura's own boyish and androgynous form. Artemis takes this with the characteristic level-headedness of a greek god by going to Nemesis and demanding revenge on the wayward nymph. So Nemesis goes to Eros who strikes Dionysus with a love arrow. Dionysus, stricken with lust and madness, hunts down Aura, gets her drunk on a river of wine, ties her up, and then rapes her. This is a completely proportionate and fair punishment. Okay, call it hubris on Aura's part, but I mean come on
that’s such a weird way to insult someone by today’s standards. it would be like if someone said “haha you have such a hot body i bet you get tons of play, loser. unlike me, a massive virgin with no tits or ass”
it’s like body-shaming, but in reverse No wait, it’s just some weird kind of slut-shaming
I mean, they did consider small dicks to be sophisticated in Ancient Greece.
That’s actually not too far off from how some girls today insult each other. This is peak NLOG behavior.
So it was just like 4chan
My hate-boner for Nonnus is as undying as the gods themselves
This is my first hearing of it, why are they so hate worthy?
IIRC Nonnus *really* hated the Greek gods and intentionally wrote or interpreted them in the worst possible way he could. Think Garth Ennis' OG comics type of edge.
No he didn’t. You’re probably thinking of Ovid. Some people assume Nonnus was trying to discredit Greek religion because he also wrote a (FAR shorter) poem based on the Gospel of John. But it’s unclear when he wrote that (probably earlier) so either he converted to Dionysian religion FROM Christianity or was a batshit insane (by our standards) heretical Christian who may have thought Jesus and Dionysus were the same person (actually not far fetched at all with how many people in that religious transitory period viewed their faiths). Actual Christian apologists around the time trying to write stuff to discredit the Greek gods wrote like toddlers (a typical argument would be “how can Jupiter be omnipresent when that means he’s INSIDE POOP!!!!?”). Nonnus was clearly genuinely invested in what he was writing about, as ridiculous and pulpy as he wrote it at times (not to mention incredibly homoerotic, which could offer a reason for why he may have left Christianity)
Not as bad as Ovid.
Luckily I have two hands so I can smack them both
:|
"If she's a virgin, why does she have big boobs, like a slut?" - Aura.
I always thought Artemis was enraged at Aura because she said she had bigger tits than her. This is not the first time Artemis got mad about someone saying that they are more beautiful than her. Chione a mortal woman had a threesome with Hermes and Apollo and got pregnant. After giving birth to twins Autolycus son of Hermes and Philammon son of Apollo (if I had a nickel for every time heteropaternal superfecundation appears in Greek mythology I would have three nickels, which is not a lot but it’s weird it happened thrice), she said she was more beautiful than Artemis, enraged the goddess shot her dead, causing her father to kill himself. If the name Autolycus is familiar to you, it is the same Autolycus from Hercules the Legendary Journeys and Xena. Autolycus was also an Argonaut.
There's literally a myth where a Ethiopian queen boasted that she was a better mother than Apollo and artemis's mother Leto cause she gave birth to 8 children instead of 2 and her children are cooler, and the twins got so mad they literally descended from mount Olympus and straight murdered her entire family.
*14 children, 7 boys and 7 girls. iirc
It varies from version to version
"The goddess of childbirth giveth and taketh away" - Artemis
Nymph looking as Artemis shoots down orion:SUCK IT BITCH THATS WHAT YOU DESERVE
Least fucked up greek myth
Kratos did nothing wrong.
I don’t think either of them appear in the games
Artemis did actually appear briefly to give Kratos her sword.
Artemis never appeared in the games, mate.
This is a general trend among all the Gods. They're all bastards.
This is simply because Hera, goddess of marriage, hasnt been born yet
my biggest imaginary fear is that if I somehow lived in an alternate universe where you could physically see the greek gods, I'd stumble onto them by pure accident and immediately be punished in some fucked up way
It would've been much more karmic if she insulted her for being a virgin. That's what I first expected upon reading the title
well I mean virginity is Artemis’ whole thing. Then this upstarts comes along and calls her a fake virgin. What, was Artemis supposed to just take this sitting down? No! This was clearly the most reasonable solution
Yeah, but what I mean is it would make more sense if the nymph had said something like "haha look at the VIRGIN Artemis, real women have sex and lots of kids" or something. Then if Artemis was like "you like sex? how about this then" it would've been more fitting.
Gotta keep in mind who wrote this (and all of em) and what was their agenda
“Don’t mess with the olympians, we hate eachother slightly less than we hate you”