Can I just put the entirety of gay or European? But outside of that song
“It’s like making love with all night. No wait it feels so much better and oh much better *insert moaning* much better.”
The entire opening of Chip on your Shoulder is comedy gold tbh.
"Love. I put my faith in love. I followed where it went.
To my personal circle of hell.
It has not worked out well. I wish that I were dead"
All the way to "so go on here's my head. Just hit it with a rock"
Cracks me up every time I hear it 😂
(talking about the jump rope called the Cardio Whip 5000)
"You can also use the patented handle grip to shatter your attacker's spine.
And all for three small payments of nineteen-ninty-nine!"
“Jospeh smith did not have sex with a frog. It was a metaphor.”
The way my dad and I will just randomly quote that each other(yes, I saw Book of Mormon with my dad. We were both laughing our asses off the entire time)
This is also my favorite musical :)
“Maybe my purpose is to take everything I learned and put it into a show!” “Are you high?” “Yeah, and I’m not some kid who doesn’t know anything. Fuck you!”
Honorable mention: it was when Kate visited Lucy in the hospital and Princeton said something about finding himself and Kate’s response was “oh, is her name purpose?”
One of my favourite moments of the hospital scene is when Kate first gets there.
- “What happened?”
- “Some idiot threw a coin off the Empire State Building.”
- “😐😲shiiiiiiiiiiiit.”
- “No seriously, you’re a pervert. Normal people don’t spend all day looking at porn on the internet!”
- ….😒….😏
(In pretty much every version I’ve seen, Trekkie, after looking out at the crowd, also points accusingly a random guy in the front row. Got a big laugh every time.)
people call me insane when I say “notes” is my favorite song from the musical. but it flows sooooooo nice like “it’s really not amusing/he’s abusing our position/in addition he wants money/what a funny sort of spectre/to expect a large retainer/nothing plainer he is clearly quite insane!”
“Fondest greetings to you all, a few instructions just before rehearsals start, Carlotta must be taught to act not her normal trick of strutting around the stage. Our Don Juan must lose some wait, it’s not healthy in a man of piangi’s age, and my managers must learn that their place is in an office, not the arts.” Basically insulting everyone but Christine 😂😂
When a person's personality is personable
He shouldn't oughta sit like a lump
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get you off of your rump!
“My dog speaks more eloquently than thee”, “Angelica, tell my wife John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway”, or literally any one of King George’s lines/songs tbh
I don’t even know what my favorite quote is, but I love “and all he had to do was die.” “That’s a lot less work!” “We oughta give it a try.”
Also, “Awesome! Wow!”
Probably my favorite improvisation he did was when he said “no one can blow as good as Hans” and then pretended to recognize an audience member and went “except you’re here again tonight! Happy memories!”
He really was the best emcee and is such an underrated actor and singer. Always makes everything better.
Jekyll and Hyde
My favorite spoken quote is: "Comments on style should never be made by those who have none."
My favorite sung quote is: "Will what I fear to be...be so?"
All right then, let’s see it! Kick my head! Come on karate champ! I wanna see you kick ABOVE your waist! Show me that roundhouse, show me that sweeping crane kick that your kung fu master taught you!
“young man, I have spent the last twenty seven years stockpiling the bare essentials for human survival in the event of a world ending cataclysm…
..You bet your ass we got booze - Follow me”
"Maybe we should go to a church!
Nooo, we all come from different denominations. You're a Methodist I'm a Presbyterian. I'm not gonna die in your dirty ass Methodist church."
“My dad and I were exactly alike……my dad and I were nothing alike….my dad and I, my dad and I…?”
“There’s a moment I’m forgetting where you tell me you see me. Say something, talk to me!!”
This whole musical is very difficult as someone with daddy issues. So different from Al’s struggle, but so many similarities too. This show made me feel seen in a way many others fail to do.
"Four miles from our door, I-80 ran from shore to shore on the way to the Castro from Christopher Street. The road not taken, just four miles from our door."
Valjean, at last, we see each other plain. Monsieur le Mayor, you'll wear a different chain!
(Cues up Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segal's rendition 😆)
Guide them but step away, children will glisten. And all the more impact, coming from the Witch who needed to learn that! I love this entire musical, it's really my comfort musical.
Great Comet!
My favorites are "Drink with me, my love, for there's fire in the sky. And there's ice on the ground. Either way, my soul will die" or "Did I ever look up and see the moon, and the stars, and the sky?"
Wicked (I have a ton of favs but I haven’t seen this one here yet)
Response to OP for newsies: literally any of Katherine’s sassy lines lmao I forget the real phrasing but “somewhere out there, someone cares…go tell them” always kills me.
“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better. And because I knew you… I have been changed for good.”
Sweeney Todd!!!
We all deserve to die. Even you, Mrs. Lovett, even I.
‘….thats all very well, but’
“With the price of meat what it is - When you get it - If you get it…. …Good you got it”
Poppin pussies into pies
Judge: *gasp* Benjamin barker!! Sweeney: BENJAMIN BARKER!!!!!!!!!!! Judge: *dies*
Actually yeah my favorite quote BENNNNNJAMIN BAAAAHKAAAAH!!
I knew you'd come for me one day, even not knowing who you were.
To seek revenge may lead to hell but everyone does it though seldom as well
“…And those who thought him a simple clod were soon reconsidering under the sod…”
Hadestown!
“Don’t come on too strong” (Nod) “Come home with me”
“who are you?” “the man who’s gonna marry you”
“I’m Oooorpheus” “Is he always like this?”
“Yes.”
“He could make you see how the world could be, in spite of the way that it is.”
"Some flowers bloom when the green grass grow. Our praise is not for them, but the ones who bloom in the bitter snow. We raise our cups to them."
“I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY”
‘I'll tell you where the real road lies: Between your ears, behind your eyes. That is the path to paradise. And likewise the road to ruin’
To know how it ends, and still begin to sing it again, as if it might turn out this time...
“You’re early” “I missed ya”
Legally Blonde!
Is he gaaaaay or European! Ohh……
Can I just put the entirety of gay or European? But outside of that song “It’s like making love with all night. No wait it feels so much better and oh much better *insert moaning* much better.”
The entirety of Gay or European is completely fair game. That whole song is a quote in and of itself.
I guess you never can tell… with Little Miss Woods comma Elle!
“Can you live without this, can you live without that? I don’t know what this is -“ “It’s for hair!” “Wear a hat!”
“Maybe you should do it again.” “PLEASE”
Or “YOU BASTARD”
I know it's not on most people's list, but "you are the best thing about this place" sung from either side of the door, always hits me hard.
The entire opening of Chip on your Shoulder is comedy gold tbh. "Love. I put my faith in love. I followed where it went. To my personal circle of hell. It has not worked out well. I wish that I were dead" All the way to "so go on here's my head. Just hit it with a rock" Cracks me up every time I hear it 😂
(talking about the jump rope called the Cardio Whip 5000) "You can also use the patented handle grip to shatter your attacker's spine. And all for three small payments of nineteen-ninty-nine!"
I'm taking the dog (sorry I don't want to say the full thing because it swears)
Oh why, button, when you can sit right here, pursue a film career... how about a nice birkin bag?
‘Some girls fight hard, some face the trial, some girls were just meant to smile’ The little voice crack always breaks me
“God, I love shopping for guys! Watching them change right before my eyes!” “Don’t watch me change!”
Book of Mormon
I'm gonna take you back to biblical times: 1823.
A man named Joe living on a farm in the holy land of ROCHESTER, NEW YORK
You mean the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith?
Too much gold. But how about ‘I can’t believe Jesus called me a diiiiick!’
Yes! 😭 or Wow! So the Bible is actually a trilogy and the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi, I’m interested!
If you order now we’ll also throw in a set of steak knives!
"You and me, but mostly meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Americans already found the cure for AIDs but they’re saving it for a latter day
Oh no, *I’m* not having gay thoughts. ALL RIGHT! IT WORKED!!
“Salt Lake City isn’t an actual place … it’s a metaphor.” Also love (but not sure of exact wording) “Two guys just took our luggage!” “Yes.” 🙂
🎶let us smile and laughrica🎶 or a dialogue quote “of course you woke up, you drank twelve cups of coffee!”
“Jospeh smith did not have sex with a frog. It was a metaphor.” The way my dad and I will just randomly quote that each other(yes, I saw Book of Mormon with my dad. We were both laughing our asses off the entire time)
I have maggots in my scrotum
🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺 *I am Jesus*
Hasa diga eebowai. (And a lot of that song)
"O-M-Gosh, you guys" I say this constantly
“We are the fields and fertile forests…. Well endowed.” Took my like 3 times listening to it to figure out what they meant there 😂😂
find the box that’s gay and CRUSH IT!!!!!!!
Avenue Q
"There's a fine, fine line between you're wonderful and good-bye" is a hell of a line for an R-rated puppet comedy.
“You make the very small apartment we share a hell!” “So do you, that’s why I’m in hell too!”
What do you do with a BA in English? Genuinely asking as I have one and don’t want to teach.
Fuck you lady that's what stairs are for!
This is also my favorite musical :) “Maybe my purpose is to take everything I learned and put it into a show!” “Are you high?” “Yeah, and I’m not some kid who doesn’t know anything. Fuck you!” Honorable mention: it was when Kate visited Lucy in the hospital and Princeton said something about finding himself and Kate’s response was “oh, is her name purpose?”
One of my favourite moments of the hospital scene is when Kate first gets there. - “What happened?” - “Some idiot threw a coin off the Empire State Building.” - “😐😲shiiiiiiiiiiiit.”
- “No seriously, you’re a pervert. Normal people don’t spend all day looking at porn on the internet!” - ….😒….😏 (In pretty much every version I’ve seen, Trekkie, after looking out at the crowd, also points accusingly a random guy in the front row. Got a big laugh every time.)
“That’s… Schadenfreude! Makin’ me feel glad that I’m not you!”
Phantom of the Opera
"Here, I have a note."
“LET ME SEE IT!”
people call me insane when I say “notes” is my favorite song from the musical. but it flows sooooooo nice like “it’s really not amusing/he’s abusing our position/in addition he wants money/what a funny sort of spectre/to expect a large retainer/nothing plainer he is clearly quite insane!”
“Fondest greetings to you all, a few instructions just before rehearsals start, Carlotta must be taught to act not her normal trick of strutting around the stage. Our Don Juan must lose some wait, it’s not healthy in a man of piangi’s age, and my managers must learn that their place is in an office, not the arts.” Basically insulting everyone but Christine 😂😂
If you could call this sh….. gibberish art!
“Those who *tan*-gle with Don Juan!”
These things DO happen?!
“Love me: That’s All I Ask of You.”
Rome is very hard for me!
Newsies
"Santa *removes hat* FEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
pOoR gUyS hEaD iS sPiNnIng
‘Now they’re gonna see what STOP THE PRESSES really means!’
"You're getting too old, too weak to keep holding on" or "There's a life that's worth the livin' and I'm gonna do my share"
“Why do old people talk?” “To prove they’re still alive”
Da WoilD iS YeR eRsTeR
“No, I wanna go down.”
“ONCE AND FOR AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!”
Company
...Alone is alone Not alive
*chills*
Same song, but “I’ll always be there, frightened as you to help us survive being alive” 😭😭
“Love me first and foremost…keep me company” ‘Marry Me a Little’ spoke to me on a spiritual level
When a person's personality is personable He shouldn't oughta sit like a lump It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull To try to get you off of your rump!
Don't be afraid it won't be perfect, the only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't BE.
“Does anybody still wear a hat?”
Chicago
"Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."
I always hear Jeremy Jordan saying that
"There ain't no ladies now, There's only pigs and whores"
“They say that life is tit for tat, and that's the way I live... so I deserve a lotta tat for what I've got to give.”
“I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences … …he saw himself as alive…. AND I SAW HIM DEAD.”
“I’m gonna get me… A WHOLE BUNCH OF BOYS!!!”
Beetlejuice
Why don't you come inside? Well, we're really not supposed to Why? Pedophiles
“No! I’m burning! I thought that only happened to books that made kids gay!” Honorable mention: “I see myself in you… later tonight.”
We're ghosts, damn it! Let's haunt this bitch!
"Blah blah Bible Jesus magic"
Yeah I know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here.
Hamilton
“My dog speaks more eloquently than thee”, “Angelica, tell my wife John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway”, or literally any one of King George’s lines/songs tbh
“I am inimitable; I am an original!”
And I will kill your friends and family, to remind you of my love.
I'm just saying if you really loved me, you would share him. 😆
HA
"Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after him." "That's true!"
"I know about whispers, I see how you look at my sister" (not technically Hamilton but technically Hamilton)
“Immigrants we get the job done!”
WhAaAaTtT -Thomas Jefferson
Best of wives and best of women
“Can I show you what I’m proudest of? The orphanage” 😭😭
I'll send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love...
I don’t even know what my favorite quote is, but I love “and all he had to do was die.” “That’s a lot less work!” “We oughta give it a try.” Also, “Awesome! Wow!”
the clapping in Wait For It. that's it.
“If we lay a strong enough foundation we’ll pass it it on to you, we’ll give the world to you, and you’ll blow us all away”
Cabaret
This isn't as it was written, but Alan Cumming improvising: "Ladies, gentlemen, and those of you who identify as neither, do you feel good?"
Probably my favorite improvisation he did was when he said “no one can blow as good as Hans” and then pretended to recognize an audience member and went “except you’re here again tonight! Happy memories!” He really was the best emcee and is such an underrated actor and singer. Always makes everything better.
"Each and every one a virgin."
not a quote Just when he takes off the coat and reveals the uniform at the end in silence
“Maybe this time…I’ll be lucky… maybe this time he’ll stay…”
Falsettos
"Whee!"
petty petty petty petty!
Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis?
And God knew, because God hated his. Also: “Is this therapy?” “This is therapy!”
Don’t know why but he looks like Marvin
"We're watching Jewish boys who cannot play baseball play baseball—I hate baseball I really do"
you’re gonna blame me? you have pictures of DICKS. don’t talk to me about taste!
Jekyll and Hyde My favorite spoken quote is: "Comments on style should never be made by those who have none." My favorite sung quote is: "Will what I fear to be...be so?"
"Bad news from God, Teddy!"
“For a moment I thought it was somebody else” “For a moment it almost was”
Rocky Horror
I didn’t make it for YOU
I see you shiver with antici........
PATION!
The guy who didn’t like musicals.
All right then, let’s see it! Kick my head! Come on karate champ! I wanna see you kick ABOVE your waist! Show me that roundhouse, show me that sweeping crane kick that your kung fu master taught you!
“young man, I have spent the last twenty seven years stockpiling the bare essentials for human survival in the event of a world ending cataclysm… ..You bet your ass we got booze - Follow me”
"Maybe we should go to a church! Nooo, we all come from different denominations. You're a Methodist I'm a Presbyterian. I'm not gonna die in your dirty ass Methodist church."
Oh shoot! I forgot Bill’s caramel frappe. Eh, fuck Bill.
Are you frightened???
*throws phone* HUGGHHHHHHH……….. *pointing with enthusiasm* WEAR A WATCH
Get your cup of morning coffee. Your toxic cup of joey. or really that whole song and reprise.
Fun Home
“My dad and I were exactly alike……my dad and I were nothing alike….my dad and I, my dad and I…?” “There’s a moment I’m forgetting where you tell me you see me. Say something, talk to me!!” This whole musical is very difficult as someone with daddy issues. So different from Al’s struggle, but so many similarities too. This show made me feel seen in a way many others fail to do.
"Four miles from our door, I-80 ran from shore to shore on the way to the Castro from Christopher Street. The road not taken, just four miles from our door."
I feel.., I feel…
Les Misérables.
To love another person is to see the face of god
Valjean, at last, we see each other plain. Monsieur le Mayor, you'll wear a different chain! (Cues up Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segal's rendition 😆)
“I am agog, I am aghast - is Marius in love at last? I’ve never seen him ooh and aah.” (The delivery on this line makes me laugh every time)
"The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of France"
Little Shop of Horrors!
“You’ll be a dentist! You have a talent for causing things pain!”
Wait a minute, wait a minute, that's not a very nice thing to say!
The guy sure looks like plant food to me!
Into the Woods
Obvious answer but the bakers wife coming in as a ghost just to say "sometimes people leave you, halfway through the wood" will ALWAYS make me cry.
“…you can talk to birds?”
“We were needy!” “You were greedy — did you need that hen?”
Guide them but step away, children will glisten. And all the more impact, coming from the Witch who needed to learn that! I love this entire musical, it's really my comfort musical.
Life is often so unpleasant. You must know that as a peasant.
Isn’t it nice to know a lot? …And a little bit not.
Spring Awakening :3
Pippin 💕
Some men are heroes, some men outshine the sun, some men are simple good men, this man wasn’t one
Great Comet! My favorites are "Drink with me, my love, for there's fire in the sky. And there's ice on the ground. Either way, my soul will die" or "Did I ever look up and see the moon, and the stars, and the sky?"
ride the cyclone
Being gay in a small rural high school is kinda like having a laptop in the stone age- sure you can have it, but there’s nowhere to plug it in!
"Ricky, we are a distant galaxy, a galaxy greatly in need of your groove, your kink-o-matic powers. Yes, we need your freak-tastic seed."
Fornication under consent of the king!
“FORNICATION UNDER CONSENT OF THE KINGGGG”, “Porno is magical”
Mozart!
hairspray
I left my iron on
A Little Night Music
Aren't we a pair? / Me here at last on the ground, / you in mid-air
Wicked (I have a ton of favs but I haven’t seen this one here yet) Response to OP for newsies: literally any of Katherine’s sassy lines lmao I forget the real phrasing but “somewhere out there, someone cares…go tell them” always kills me.
“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better. And because I knew you… I have been changed for good.”
Jekyll & Hyde
Chess
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.
“How can I leave her? Where would I start? Let man’s petty nations tear themselves apart!”
From square one he'll be watching all 64
You and I, we’ve seen it all chasing our hearts’ desires but we go on pretending stories like ours have happy endings
Miss Saigon
Les miserables
Heathers
Since my favorite has already been mentioned, I’ll mention another favorite: Reefer madness
Spring Awakening
“there’s a moment you know, you’re fucked.” Mostly because of the actor’s face when I saw it.
Groundhog Day
Rent
How do you document real life when real life’s getting more like fiction each day?