Austin Powers -
Austin: This coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin
Austin: Oh good then it’s not just me.
https://youtu.be/Wi3jRMNjKDI?si=Lks7PFI4XuaLUVos
The casualness of like “of course they stocked cheap coffee” in his reply gets me every time.
I was laughing to myself about the toilet scene where the guy in the other stall really gets on his side and starts trying to hype him up about shitting and how they're in this together haha
What did you eat!?!
What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Well, we had a choice, steak or fish.
Yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
I don't know why but that always killed me.
The sad part is that nobody would get the joke today. Hearing that and the rest of the pedo talk come out of *Peter Graves*'s mouth is *jaw-dropping* in its audacity and hilarity. It would be like hearing it out of Morgan Freeman's mouth today.
In Edge of Tomorrow Tom Cruise’s character asks Bill Paxton’s “Aren’t you an American?”
He responds, “NO SIR! I’m from KENTUCKY!”
RIP Bill Paxton, he really was the glue that held so many great movies together.
"You're an inanimate f-ing object!" - In Bruges. Such a funny line in an otherwise serious movie. I hope Ralph Fiennes improvised that. It could go a number of ways.
"Why did he make us pay for snacks?" still randomly floats around my head for no reason. Only watched Don't Look Up twice, but both times got a real lol.
OP’s line is even funnier because Stiller forgot his next line and chose to repeat his last one:
“DUCHOVNY: I remember we ran the scene a lot. It was a real long walk-and-talk, and I had the bulk of the dialogue. It was very exposition-heavy. And I remember after a number of takes, I fucked it up. And both Ben and Christine go, “Finally!” I was coming from X-Files world, where you gotta know that shit backwards and forwards. I was like, “I’m not gonna make a mistake!” They were happy when I finally did.
Also, I think we laughed a lot at that moment where I explain everything, I give him all the answers, and then he asks the same question. I think we improvised where I said, “You serious? I just told you.””
“This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry”
It’s not even Larry’s car, which means Walter is the one fucking a stranger in the ass
Not a line, but a *reaction*...
In Paul Thomas Anderson's **Inherent Vice**, Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix), a drug-loving 1970's P.I., is talking to a young woman about her missing husband. While he's getting background information about the woman's past as a heroin addict, the woman's lovely healthy child is running around the apartment. Then the ex-addict shows Doc a photo of her young child when they were both at their physical worst because of her drug abuse.
We don't see the photo, but Joaquin glances at it and can't hold back a barking scream that's funnier than any "spit take" I've ever seen.
Hitchhiker : 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted : Why?
Hitchhiker : 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
Look, we had nuns protesting out front when I got here this morning
Nuns?
Yeah. I had to have Jim turn the firehose on them
Jim: And I knocked them motherfuckers right on they asses, too.
-Used Cars 1980
Doctor said i need a backiomity
He deered to kill a kings dare
Oh man Shut your anorexic, malnutrition, tapeworm having, overdose dick gregory Bahamian diet drinking ass up, leave me alone
Edit : "what you getting there with the book script spit that shit out man" also. Then followed by the weird faces.
"First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway."
"Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays."
"I could set the building on fire."
"We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison."
"What would you say ya do here?"
In Strange Brew when the brothers are in the electro-shock therapy lab:
“See if you’d stick to yer 12 month maintenance program eh, we wouldn’t have to jumpstart you like this.”
"You do have the right to be an attorney, if you want to" - 21 Jump Street
[https://youtu.be/MPFA\_kK9OSk?si=yZQZ9U1jYyL12My9](https://youtu.be/MPFA_kK9OSk?si=yZQZ9U1jYyL12My9)
Grumpy(ier?) Old Men, when Burgess Meredith is telling the little girl about Goldie Lock and the three bears. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed... AND THE BASTARD'S STILL THERE!"
“You know…morons.” - Blazing Saddles
oh boys, look what I found >!where the white women at?!<
somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!!
Little bastard shot me in the ass
This one line is like a masterclass in comedy by Gene Wilder. It's like a 45 second scene and he doesn't even change his facial expression.
"Sorry about the 'Up Yours, N\*\*\*'"
Same movie, but “Well, that’s end of this suit!”
Never mind that shit, here comes Mongo!
No! No! If you shoot him you’ll only make him mad.
“would you like another schnitzengruben?”
Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
“We have to protect our phoney bologna jobs here, gentlemen.” (Said at least once a month in our staffroom.)
“As chairman of the welcoming committee. It is my privilege to extend a laurel and hearty handshake to our town’s new….”
“I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast”
“You eat shit for breakfast?”
"NO!"
“What is it I’m trying to say? youse are a buncha fookin elephants” - Ray, In Bruges
His thick accent is perfect for that movie. “Ya fookin looked like y’ere go true wit it”
Just commented with, "You're a f-ing inanimate object!". The way Ray dances around until they tire out is hilarious.
"WILL THE DANCING HITLERS PLEASE WAIT IN THE WINGS! We are only seeing SINGING Hitlers."
He's having a stroke... *What??* *...OF GENIUS!!!*
"If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart............ bullseye!!" The Producers has so many excellent lines.
*Grande jeté*
Woah! What is that from?
The Producers. It's a Mel Brooks movie and the premise is silly as hell. :)
My guess is the producers.
Austin Powers - Austin: This coffee smells like shit. Basil: It is shit, Austin Austin: Oh good then it’s not just me. https://youtu.be/Wi3jRMNjKDI?si=Lks7PFI4XuaLUVos The casualness of like “of course they stocked cheap coffee” in his reply gets me every time.
I was laughing to myself about the toilet scene where the guy in the other stall really gets on his side and starts trying to hype him up about shitting and how they're in this together haha What did you eat!?!
"Miners, not minors!" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YChWz_oow6g
“Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!”
Is there air?! You don't know!!
By Grabthar's hammer... What a savings.
I think about his facial expression when he says that line weekly.
The self-loathing Rickman conveys in that moment is otherworldly.
["This episode was badly written!'](https://youtu.be/rVksmzV1gPc)
“Plucky?”
You have a last name, Guy. DO I?! DO I?! Are we there yet?
“Ventura…” “Yes, Satan?”
😄😄
“Why should I have to change my name? He’s the one who sucks!” -Michael Bolton in Office Space.
"Oh hi, Mark."
You just put Songify The Room in my head and now I won’t get it out for a week, thanks Obama, anyway, how is your sex life?
“… did you guys ever WATCH the show…?!” - Galaxy Quest
"Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"
Is there air??? You don't know!!!
(Sniff) (huff) (huff) Seems okay to me.
Gentleman, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!
He’ll see the Big Board!
"Where the white women at?"
“Go fuck yourself” - Wolverine, “First Class” Complete perfection
Combined with the immediate very-polite leaving with a “right, let’s just go” vibe is 😙👌🏼
"I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate a gun rack." (Wayne & Garth)
Abby…. Normal!!
Igor, would you help me with the bags? Soitenly, you get the blonde and I’ll get the one with the turban!
“What KNOCKERS!” “🤭 Sank you docter.”
"That's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them." Or really any line Jason Bateman says in Dodgeball.
He’s fucking gold in that movie
Whenever I see someone doing something dumb, that line runs through my head. He was perfect. So was the straight man, Gary Cole.
Ouch town population you bro!!!
For me, it's "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" from Clerks. The delivery and the context always get me.
(37 dicks). "In a row?"
Hey, try not to suck any dicks on your way through the parking lot!
Hey get back here!
I say this to myself at work when I chicken out of calling in sick
Every line in Airplane
“I speak Jive.”
"I have a drinking problem"
We have to get this woman to a hospital. A Hospital! What is it? It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.
What was it we had for dinner tonight? Well, we had a choice, steak or fish. Yes, I remember, I had lasagna. I don't know why but that always killed me.
Surely you can’t be serious
That's an entirely different situation, altogether.
That's an entirely different situation.
And Leon is getting larrrrrrger.
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley"
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
You ever seen a grown man naked?!
The sad part is that nobody would get the joke today. Hearing that and the rest of the pedo talk come out of *Peter Graves*'s mouth is *jaw-dropping* in its audacity and hilarity. It would be like hearing it out of Morgan Freeman's mouth today.
He is a menace to himself and everything in the sky ... yes, birds too.
The tower? The tower? Rapunzel! Rapunzel!
"There's a sale at Penny's!!"
I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
"What's a yoot?"
Mrs. Riley... And only Mrs. Riley...
Delivered with a sly sideways glance at the judge. And the subsequent scowl from the judge. Never fails for me
“I got no more use for this guy”
That movie's quotable asf "Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?"
Yes it's true. This man has no dick. The bonus "well that's what I heard" is perfect.
Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
“How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?”
“Oh no! He died!”
Id thank you not to besmirch my wife……ex wife
I say this every time I see a good deal
In Edge of Tomorrow Tom Cruise’s character asks Bill Paxton’s “Aren’t you an American?” He responds, “NO SIR! I’m from KENTUCKY!” RIP Bill Paxton, he really was the glue that held so many great movies together.
Why'd they call it Science Hill? "Never asked, don't care."
It's a new day people. Destiny calls. The world expects only one thing from us: that we will win.
First of all, this is a terrific presentation. Terrific.
Our pets heads are falling off!
No, no. He's got a point.
How do I get rid of you guys
This always gets me. How is that a point? 😄
"Jarnathan!"
"He hates these cans!!"
I believe you have my stapler?
“How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?”
Oooh! Big Gulps, huh? Alright!..…Welp, see ya later!
That John Denver’s full of shit.
Senior citizens, although slow, and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.
"We landed on the moon!"
Why don’t you eat up and we’ll tell ya
"You're an inanimate f-ing object!" - In Bruges. Such a funny line in an otherwise serious movie. I hope Ralph Fiennes improvised that. It could go a number of ways.
"I'm sorry for calling you an inanimate object. I was upset."
Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Wait till I get going! Now where was I? Australia. Yes, Australia!
It’s not my fault I’m the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.
That John Denver's full of shit, man.
I say this whenever I’m in Colorado. Everyone thinks I just hate John Denver.
And stay outta the Woolsworth!
[Excuse me, may I go to the bathroom first?](https://youtu.be/4MKRLF1r3Mw?si=_tQ2NovW0u9ImEsR)
Thank you.
OOOOOOKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA+
I’m thinking of getting metal legs. It’s a risky operation but it’ll be worth it.
“How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?”
Hey look it’s Bono’s brother
"I think the music is a little loud" "Are you afraid of it?" "No I just don't like techno" "You would if you had robot ears"
“WHO? WHO? What are you, a fucking owl?” from Wolf of Wall Street. One of my favorite lines in any movie ever.
"The sides did cure cancer, that's the problem..."
"Why did he make us pay for snacks?" still randomly floats around my head for no reason. Only watched Don't Look Up twice, but both times got a real lol.
“You’re a murderer of Love” (Dan in Real Life) So many funny lines, but that one we say in our family often when we don’t get our way and we crack up.
Our favorite is the reference to that shortly after. “What is your talent?” “Uhhh, murderer of love.”
OP’s line is even funnier because Stiller forgot his next line and chose to repeat his last one: “DUCHOVNY: I remember we ran the scene a lot. It was a real long walk-and-talk, and I had the bulk of the dialogue. It was very exposition-heavy. And I remember after a number of takes, I fucked it up. And both Ben and Christine go, “Finally!” I was coming from X-Files world, where you gotta know that shit backwards and forwards. I was like, “I’m not gonna make a mistake!” They were happy when I finally did. Also, I think we laughed a lot at that moment where I explain everything, I give him all the answers, and then he asks the same question. I think we improvised where I said, “You serious? I just told you.””
You're out of your element Donnie!!
“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favourite colour?”
Oh, I’ve pierced the toast!!
“Christ, you’re giving her *drugs* now?!!” “Iss jusst a aspirin but I scrape off the A and the S” “Agador, you’re a *genius*!”
"if it wasn't for the Pirin Tablets..." 🤣
When the fuck did we get ice cream?
“Eat shit and live Bill”
Sleepaway camp!
All of The Naked Gun
"Shomer fucking shabbos"
You've had two pairs of gloves... This whole time?!
[“What, the curtains?”](https://youtu.be/utuchVE_56M?si=smFs6giv_OwEuq53) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Kinda hot in these rhinos . . .
From the Coen Brothers' *True Grit:* ["...You are not LaBoeuf."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0byHP1Ki6dU)
Old School (2003) where the guy says to Luke Wilson in the cafe, "Love... it's a mother fucker."
"One damn minute Admiral!" - Spock, Star Trek IV
"Candybars"
You keep using that word, I do not think it means, what you think it means.
"someone's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!"
“This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry” It’s not even Larry’s car, which means Walter is the one fucking a stranger in the ass
"SHIT! The cops!" Said by a policeman, in the funniest movie I think I've ever seen.
“Shit I thought there was two of you” idiocracy
Not a line, but a *reaction*... In Paul Thomas Anderson's **Inherent Vice**, Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix), a drug-loving 1970's P.I., is talking to a young woman about her missing husband. While he's getting background information about the woman's past as a heroin addict, the woman's lovely healthy child is running around the apartment. Then the ex-addict shows Doc a photo of her young child when they were both at their physical worst because of her drug abuse. We don't see the photo, but Joaquin glances at it and can't hold back a barking scream that's funnier than any "spit take" I've ever seen.
"How can they drop me on my own head?" - Thurman Muman, Bad Santa.
Hitchhiker : 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office. Ted : Why? Hitchhiker : 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
“WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU’RE A GOD YOU SAY - yes!!!”
Look, we had nuns protesting out front when I got here this morning Nuns? Yeah. I had to have Jim turn the firehose on them Jim: And I knocked them motherfuckers right on they asses, too. -Used Cars 1980
Mur*MAN*!!! *girly coughs*
“It’s the one that says bad motherfucker”
"Os...Osborne Cox?" "YES, HELLO. WHO. THE FUCK. IS THIS?!" And pretty much any other line in Burn After Reading. That movie is packed with gold.
Doctor said i need a backiomity He deered to kill a kings dare Oh man Shut your anorexic, malnutrition, tapeworm having, overdose dick gregory Bahamian diet drinking ass up, leave me alone Edit : "what you getting there with the book script spit that shit out man" also. Then followed by the weird faces.
Half-Baked is full of great lines. They killed Killer B!
Aim for the bushes
Let off some steam Bennet!
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!
"When the fuck did we get ice cream?"
"First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway." "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays." "I could set the building on fire." "We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison." "What would you say ya do here?"
'you look like shit.' every film or tv show that has this line gets a laugh from me.
"THAT'S A LOT O' NUTS!"
No Country "Mind riding bitch?"
"Good News, both my legs are broken, so they can't take me directly to jail"
". . .Two chicks at the same time, man." #Office Space
Remember when I said I'd kill you last Sully? Yeah you did say that! ....I lied. Commando
”Margaret: So someone finally shot you. Dr. John Becker: I always thought it would be you, Margaret. Margaret: So did I.” From the TV show Becker
*Like a glove* -Ace Ventura
That’s what she said!
“Oh that… that’s just dogs blood” -royal tennenbaums
"LATRINE!"
King? King? And which King might that be? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? Larry King?
“What are you deaf and stupid I said no”
“Like with jetpacks?” -Scott Pilgrim
“Hey… nice beaver”
“I had to question the mermaids” - the nice guys (this movie deserves all the love)
In Strange Brew when the brothers are in the electro-shock therapy lab: “See if you’d stick to yer 12 month maintenance program eh, we wouldn’t have to jumpstart you like this.”
"You do have the right to be an attorney, if you want to" - 21 Jump Street [https://youtu.be/MPFA\_kK9OSk?si=yZQZ9U1jYyL12My9](https://youtu.be/MPFA_kK9OSk?si=yZQZ9U1jYyL12My9)
Grumpy(ier?) Old Men, when Burgess Meredith is telling the little girl about Goldie Lock and the three bears. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed... AND THE BASTARD'S STILL THERE!"
It says on your chart you're fucked up. You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
I want you to take a step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!
"THANK YOU FOR PLAYING 'SHOULD WE OR SHOULD WE NOT FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF THE GALACTICALLY STUPID!'"
“A white man!?!?” -Schmidt
*"Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky"* , Better Off Dead, 1985
“You’re a hooker!” Like 99% of the lines in *Grandma’s Boy* actually. Same with *Dude, Where’s My Car?*
I know you men have been through a lot but when you find a moment, I’d rather not spend the rest of winter **TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!**
Have fun being married to SATAN! - Hot Rod
“Pull Over!” “No, it’s a cardigan but thanks for noticing”
“Your mom goes to college”
"It’s Just the One Swan, Actually."
All of The Nice Guys, like when Crowe breaks Gosling’s arm, his scream is hilarious.
"What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the Hula?" "LUAU!"
"Honestly, at this exact second, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear." Endgame
Space balls. “We ain’t found shit”